Nami High
by MeLoNnAiSE
Summary: Sometimes, love hurts. One-sided love aches. Breaking up is pain. When two people fall completely for the same irreplaceable person, who will be the one to suffer? AU-Highschool. YamaGoku, YamaHiba: AKA 8059, 8018. Also includes Varia, Gokuyo, Millefiore.
1. Strangers and Smiles

**Summary:** Sometimes, love hurts. One-sided love aches. Breaking up is pain. When two people fall completely for the same irreplaceable person, who will be the one to suffer? AU-Highschool. 8059, 8018. AKA: YamaGoku, YamaHiba. Also includes Varia, Kokuyo, Millefiore.

**Warnings: **well, yeah there will be smut. Guyxguy. As in, yaoi buttsex. Also, violence. Rape. Hot make out sessions. Might be slight, SLIGHT, OCC-ness since it's AU. So, you've been warned.

**A/N: **So… this is a complete flip from 'His Royal Highness Owns a Frog' in many ways. First, it's an AU. Second, it's all about high school life, not assassins even though there is gang warfare. Third, there's a slow development between the characters, whereas my last fic raced through relationship stages. But I do hope you enjoy this fic all the same :)

OH, and a piece of info here. A 'color gang' is a rebellious teenage gang which commits little petty crimes and causes fights against other color gangs. They're called color gangs because different groups are told apart by the color they wear. The fights are pretty serious and sometimes people may even die. For those of you who watch/read Durarara! you will already understand what I'm talking about.

* * *

"Shit… fucking hurts…"

"Nearly done…"

"Ow- fuck! Spanner!"

"Done," Spanner stated calmly, popping a lollipop into his mouth, "Really, engines are much better. They don't complain when I fix them up."

"Well sorry for not being a bloody motorcycle," Gokudera spat at his friend sarcastically, one hand rubbing at the freshly treated wounds on his body, flinching slightly when his fingers ran over a dark violet bruise.

"You could at least complain less – it's not my fault you lost so badly," Spanner said, spinning the lollipop in his mouth.

"Tch. It's not my fault that the freak Bel used fucking _knives_," Gokudera muttered, observing all the bruises and long cuts on his torso. The wounds weren't deep enough to cause any serious damage, but they hurt nonetheless.

"Che, don't be such a wimp with just a few slashes," M.M., who had been sitting in the corner of the room, joined in the conversation, "If they bite us, we bite back. Varia is using more dangerous weapons. We have to make new plans or Dynamite is going to lose again – just look at us." The red haired girl motioned for the Gokudera and Spanner to look around the room.

All around, there were guys and a few girls of their age either sitting or lying down, each with a few bruises or cuts that they helped each other fix up. It had been a long time since the group had been in this state of loss – and they hated it. Every member hated losing.

Dynamite was a color gang formed by Lancia, their present leader, in Namimori. They were one of the strongest gangs in town, their name well-known in the young underground world. Infamous for their violence and skills in fighting, they were recognized by their red scarves every time they walked the streets of Namimori.

But just like mafia families in the real underground world, in color gang warfare, every group had a rival – the stronger the group, the stronger the rival to oppose one another. Dynamite's rival was Varia – another incredibly violent color gang in Namimori, recognized by all-black leather jackets. The two gangs had always fought to be the strongest, but never had one completely beaten the other, and no clear results were ever seen. So the two gangs kept on fighting continuously, so much that it became some sort of routine – the picture of two groups of teenagers ruthlessly fighting, one in black leather and the other wearing red scarves, becoming a common sight in the night streets of Namimori.

"I could make more of these if you want," Spanner suggested, picking up a metal baseball bat with iron nails sticking out from all around.

M.M. nodded, "Yeah, those would be helpful… and that asshole Squalo hit me with this metal bar thing. Hurts like fucking hell. We could get some of those."

"Just leave it to me," Spanner said, writing down the information on his hand.

"As if that would be enough. They had knives," Gokudera mumbled.

"Simple. We could get some knives as well," M.M. spoke simply, brushing the bob of red hair on her head backwards. "We already use cutters anyways."

"True," Gokudera nodded, lifting up his wrist to check out the time on his watch before his emerald green eyes widened. "Fuck!"

"What?" Spanner looked up from the doodle of a robot he drew on his hand.

"It's nearly 5 am. Shit! I have to go. See you guys tomorrow," Gokudera abruptly stood up before he quickly pulled on his jacket and ran out of Lancia's house.

"Dad's gonna rip my head off," the silvernette muttered as he ran.

* * *

"Fuck…" Gokudera cursed as he tried to keep on walking, but it seemed as though his body was unwilling to go any further.

Just as he was making his way home, all of a sudden dizziness took over him and darkened his vision. His head felt heavy, throbbing in pain along with his entire body. Gokudera had thought that not having any sleep for the past night and losing quite an amount of blood would have some effect on him in one way or another… but why now? Just when he was all alone, past 5 am in the morning not knowing where the fuck he was in Namimori anymore.

"Ugh-" he moaned as another headache hit him and he had to lean against the wall to keep his body upright. Breathing faintly, he closed his eyes willing the pain to go away. But as soon as his eyes reopened, his vision was completely taken over by dark and green spots, the world spinning around him, causing him to flop helplessly to the ground. "Hell…" he breathed, feeling the concrete on his face before he gave in and lost consciousness altogether.

* * *

_Cold._

"Nnh-" Gokudera woke up to the feeling of a damp towel on his face. He tried to reach out to person who was wiping his cheeks and neck. "Dad…?"

_Warm._

"Ah, you're awake," the voice murmured, and Gokudera knew right away it wasn't his father. His dad would never have used such a gentle tone – not with him.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, and what he saw before him was a guy, around his age, with slightly tanned skin and short black hair. Those dark brown eyes looked down at him, at his emerald eyes, before the guy smiled calmly.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" the guy spoke to him with that gentle voice once again, turning to squeeze the water out of the towel and into a bucket beside the bed Gokudera was lying on.

"Where-?" Gokudera managed to say.

"You're at my house. I found you lying unconscious across the street so I figured you need help," the guy replied, the smile still on his face, "Do you want to sit up?"

Gokudera, still confused as he tried to take everything in, nodded slowly, rather dazed by what was going on. The guy got up closer to him before he helped him sit up on the bed, supported by soft pillows. "I'm Yamamoto Takeshi, by the way."

_Yamamoto Takeshi._

Gokudera just stared at him, stared at that innocent, care-free smile, and the way those dark brown eyes seemed to have a light in them that was brighter than anything Gokudera had ever seen. It had been a long time since Gokudera had last saw someone who looked so optimistic, and it had been forever since someone treated him in such a gentle and simply 'nice' way.

"Haha, don't look at me like that. Sorry, I just never saw anyone with green eyes and silver hair like you before," Yamamoto was laughing. Gokudera didn't even realize that he was also observed during the time that he took in this person.

"Here, have some water," Yamamoto handed him a glass of water, and Gokudera obediently drank it before he neatly set the glass down on the closest table. For some reason, around Yamamoto, Gokudera felt like he was compelled to act more proper – maybe it was his good nature or his smile, but instead being all gangly and swearing like he usually was, Gokudera was for once, on good behavior.

"Feeling better?" Yamamoto asked him, observing his face.

Gokudera felt slightly intimidated by how those warm eyes were looking at him, and he diverted his pupils to the side as he mumbled, "Yeah."

"Cool," Yamamoto smiled brightly at him before he stood up to put the bucket of water and towel away in the bathroom.

Gokudera just kept silent, still rather amazed by how 'nice' this guy simply was. Living three years in the young underground world of color gang warfare, expelled time and time again, Gokudera almost forgot what it felt like to receive a friendly smile and warmth from another.

As Yamamoto walked back into the room, he asked, "What's your name?"

Gokudera stared at him.

Yamamoto smiled calmly, "Hey, don't look so afraid, I'm not going to bite you or anything."

Gokudera looked down to the floor, unable to look straight at those dark chocolate eyes any longer, "Gokudera."

"Hm?" Yamamoto sat himself in front of him.

"Gokudera Hayato," the silvernette barely whispered, but Yamamoto heard him nonetheless.

"Ah, okay then, I'll call you Gokudera, ne?"

Gokudera nodded slightly, still unsure of what to do. He had become so accustomed to violence, threat and pain that for once, when he was approached with softness and friendliness, he had no idea how to react. Hell, he couldn't even understand why someone would help a complete stranger who fainted in front of their house in the first place. So instead, he settled on focusing his attention on the room he figured probably belonged to Yamamoto.

The room was simple with all the usual objects that belonged in a teenage guy's bedroom, but what Gokudera noticed was that there were many baseball related objects in the room, from baseball bats to school baseball team photos – all of which, Gokudera noticed, had Yamamoto smiling brightly in every single photo.

"Heh, I really love baseball," Yamamoto stated with a smile, seeing Gokudera looking at the most recent baseball team photo.

_No shit. _Gokudera thought as he looked at all the posters of famous baseball players on the wall. _This guy is a complete baseball idiot._

"You ever played baseball, Gokudera?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

Gokudera shook his head before he chuckled humorlessly, "The only time I ever held a baseball bat was probably to smash some retard in the head – or stick it up his ass."

The words spilled out from his lips before he even thought about it, and before he knew it, Gokudera was already regretting saying those things. Sure, he was uncomfortable with all this 'nice-ness' being handed to him, but all of a sudden he felt like he didn't want it to disappear. But now that he said it… well, who would want to be involved with someone who bashed people in the head with a baseball bat?

But much to Gokudera's surprise, Yamamoto just simply said, "Ah, so you are in one of those color gangs after all."

Gokudera raised his eyebrows, "…you knew?"

Yamamoto smiled, "Well," he reached out to tug at the red scarf around Gokudera's forearm, "…_that _was a big giveaway – and you have a lot of injuries. Not many people have large bruises and cuts like that, you know."

Gokudera frowned. _Then why would you help me?_

"So you're in Dynamite, right?" Yamamoto asked.

"…yeah," Gokudera replied, not knowing what else to say.

"Ah, figured. I don't know a lot about this color gang business, but you guys are pretty famous," Yamamoto smiled lightly at him.

Gokudera didn't know how to respond to that so he just kept quiet, toying with the metal rings on his hand, noticing a dry blood stain where he punched a Varia and quickly scrubbing it off – not sure whether because he disliked the fact that it was dirty, or the fact that Yamamoto could see it and know how low gang warfare can go. But that was ridiculous. Why should he care what this complete stranger thought about him?

He should leave. That was the right thing to do. He had already stayed here way too long.

And with that thought, Gokudera abruptly stood up and started making his way out of the door. Yamamoto surprised stood up and followed him.

"Ah, where are you going?" He wanted to know.

"Leaving." Gokudera simply replied in a mutter.

"Already? But are you feeling okay?" Yamamoto's face was one of concern. Gokudera didn't get it. Why would this guy – this stranger – care about him? Nobody did. Not even Gokudera himself.

So Gokudera did not reply and just kept on walking, using his instincts to guide his way down the stairs and to the front of the house which he now realized was a sushi store.

Yamamoto followed shortly behind him, and just before he walked out of the door, the baseball player reached out and grabbed his arm, "Wait, Gokudera."

Out of instinct, Gokudera instantly jerked his arm away before feeling, for some reason, slightly guilty when he saw the look on Yamamoto's face. Trying to cover up and make up for that guilt, he mumbled, "…what?"

"Will I ever see you again?" Yamamoto asked, his chocolate brown eyes hopeful.

Gokudera stared at that expression that reminded him of a puppy dog before he diverted his gaze. This guy – Yamamoto Takeshi – was hard to understand.

"…Namimori's a small town," Gokudera shrugged, and with that, he quickly turned and walked away, not even looking back at Yamamoto's face.

It wasn't until Gokudera stood in front of his house – the home he labeled as hell – when he realized he had yet to thank Yamamoto for helping him.

_Oh, well… fuck it. It wasn't like I asked him to help me. The guy wanted to – all by himself._

But even as he thought so, Gokudera felt unsatisfied.

* * *

Only yesterday, Yamamoto had met an angel – an angel with deep green emerald eyes and beautiful silver hair. The angel had fallen in front of Yamamoto's house, and after he took one glance at that face, Yamamoto just _had_ to help him no matter what – that angel, Gokudera Hayato.

From the way he was dressed, Yamamoto could tell from since the first glance that Gokudera was a rebel, with his metal skull rings and red scarf. So it didn't come as a surprise to him when he found out Gokudera belonged to the color gang Dynamite. After all, many members of Varia were studying in his school Namimori High School, so Yamamoto was rather used to meeting people who were involved in color gang warfare.

But unlike some gang members Yamamoto knew, Gokudera was different. He had that broken look about him that made him appear both vulnerable and yet insanely strong, though he held himself rather like a stray cat – unsure whether anyone was going to attack him. The way those eyes observed everything calculatingly and the way his body was well aware of everything around him – cautious of everything whilst at the same time, afraid of what can happen to him.

It was that sort of 'stray cat' vibe that made Yamamoto want to get to know Gokudera. Because apart from the fact that he was striking with his petite body, pale skin, silver hair and green eyes – the way he responded and reacted to things were just incredibly interesting. Yamamoto had never met anyone quite like the guy before, and he felt disappointed that he couldn't have talked to Gokudera for a little while longer.

But that was alright, because right now, Yamamoto was heading towards someone particularly special to him. Someone who, from since the first day they met, had captured Yamamoto completely, even if the person did not realize it.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

"Hibari," Yamamoto called into the prefect's council room, "Can I come in?"

"…hn," came the simple reply, and Yamamoto pushed open the door before quietly entering the room.

Yamamoto's heart skipped a beat when he saw the person he wanted to see sitting at the head prefect's table. Hibari Kyouya was just as flawless as always, dressed smartly in his school uniform with the prefect tag hung loosely around his slim arm, his blazer resting on the top of his chair. That pale skin was glowing healthily in the sunlight, those cheeks looking softer than ever. Those very slightly pink-tinted lips were sealed close as those dark, pitch black eyes scanned through the sheets of paper before him. The long slim fingers that flicked through papers looked delicate and neat, every action precise and correct in that perfect way that was him.

"Hey, Hibari," Yamamoto breathed, smiling lightly.

Hibari didn't even look up from his work, "Yamamoto Takeshi. You're here for the Saturday detention – three times this term now."

"Hehe, sorry for taking your time," Yamamoto smiled, lifting one hand to ruffle the back of his own hair. He couldn't admit to Hibari that he intentionally got into small troubles that were large enough for him to end up in Saturday detention because he wanted to spend time with the head prefect – if Hibari knew he would be beaten up pretty badly.

"Sit down, I'll give you some work to do," Hibari said, still working through his papers.

Yamamoto did as he was told, seating himself comfortably on one of the sofas in the position that was closest to Hibari whilst also giving him the best view of the prefect. Yamamoto looked at Hibari work through three more pieces of paper before the prefect stood up and walked towards him, handing him a booklet of revision. Yamamoto took the booklet from Hibari's hand, their fingers brushing only slightly as the baseball player murmured a 'thank you' before Hibari went back to his table.

It was silent after that – but a peaceful silence. The sounds of pencil on paper and pages being turned creating a calm atmosphere that both Yamamoto and Hibari relaxed in. From time to time, Yamamoto would look up from his work and observe Hibari, looking at how that expression changed – from a tiny frown to a tiny nod of satisfaction. The slight changes were so adorable in Yamamoto's eyes and he couldn't help but feel like hugging that petite body close to his own. But Yamamoto couldn't look for too long – every time Hibari looked up to check on him, he would quickly move his focus back to the booklet in front of him, fast enough that the prefect would not even notice.

Yamamoto didn't understand why he felt this way towards Hibari, but from since the moment they met, Yamamoto felt like he wanted to know more about Hibari, get to know his deepest secrets. He wanted the prefect to show him sides that he never showed to anyone – and before he knew it, Yamamoto found that every time Hibari walked past, his heart would jolt; his breathing paused for a moment. The fact that Hibari was a guy just like him never really bothered him at all – it didn't matter as long as he knew how he felt.

A small yellow ball of feathers flew into the room as that familiar high pitched voice chirped, "Hibari~ Hibari~"

The little bird landed itself smoothly on Hibari's table and Hibari gently smoothed its fur with the tip of his fingers giving only just a hint of a smile at his pet before he went back to his work.

That was also another thing that attracted Yamamoto to Hibari. That gentleness that hardly anybody ever witnessed from the Skylark, he had seen it appear whenever Hibari was around Hibird – and he fell for it. Yamamoto just wanted to see more and more of it, he couldn't have enough.

Hibird flew over to Yamamoto before it settled down on his booklet, looking up at him, its head cocking sideways. Yamamoto smiled, "Hi, Hibird." The baseball player petted the little head softly and Hibird chirped happily in response.

Hibari looked up from his papers, "Get back to your revision."

"Haha, okay senpai," Yamamoto smiled, going back to work through his booklet. Hibari looked at Yamamoto for a while more, checking to see if he really was getting on with his work before going back to his own prefect work.

After a while, Yamamoto finished the booklet and when he looked up, he found that Hibari had fallen asleep on the desk, that head resting peacefully on his hands which still held a pencil in one of them. Smiling, Yamamoto quietly stood up and approached Hibari, bending down so that he can see that face clearly.

_You shouldn't let your guard down so much, Hibari._

Seeing Hibari's defenseless sleeping face was so tempting that Yamamoto nearly couldn't stop himself from just inching closer and stealing in on those slightly parted lips. But he resisted the temptation, knowing just how sensitive Hibari's senses were. Yamamoto had already gained some sort of peacefulness between him and Hibari – he didn't want to break it. Thus, the baseball player settles for a slight brush of his thumb over Hibari's soft cheeks. Then, he stood up and draped Hibari's blazer over the prefect before leaving the room, smiling happily at the amount of time he was able to spend with him.

As for Hibari, as soon as he heard the click of the door signaling Yamamoto's leave, he opened his eyes and looked up, still feeling the touch of Yamamoto's fingers on his cheek – and surprising himself, Hibari found that he didn't mind it at all – not one little bit.

But that thought threatened him – because he had been hurt by that carelessness before, and he never, ever wanted to be weakened in that way again.

* * *

**7.13 am, Namimori High School**

Early in the morning, just like any typical school day, students gathered together in their classrooms before the school schedule actually started - the girls gossiping in their little groups along the corners of the room whilst the guys hung around in the table area, sitting on the tables in separate groups.

"Haha, maa, Tsuna, don't worry. Reborn-sensei's not going to kill you." Yamamoto comforted his friend, smiling as he patted him on the back.

"No he will! This is the third time I forgot to do his math homework…" Sawada Tsunayoshi panicked, beating himself up over and over for forgetting his notebook at school. It had always been like this for him, that was how he earned the name 'no-good Tsuna' – and from how he's managing, or more accurately, how he was _not_ managing at everything, that nickname wasn't about to disappear anytime soon.

"Ha! You suck!" Joshima Ken stuck his tongue out at the poor boy, laughing loudly as he stuffed himself with potato chips.

"Ken… it's not nice to say that," Kakimoto Chikusa warned his best friend, though his face remained indifferent before he continued speaking in that monotonous voice, "…and you'll choke if you keep on eating like that."

"Shut up, Kakipii!" Ken replied, continuing to stuff himself. Chikusa just looked at him before he looked away and sighed, giving up on trying getting Ken to listen to anything he said.

"Kufufu… oya, Ken. You shouldn't speak so rudely to Chikusa," Rokudo Mukuro spoke, his lips curving in a slight smile as he chuckled slightly at a joke that only he understood. Ken faltered, crossing his arms and glaring at Chikusa as if it was all the megane's fault.

The relationship between the three of them was rather strange, though very close – they all came from the same middle school Kokuyo, and nobody ever understood why both Ken and Chikusa followed Mukuro around and listened to him as if he was some kind of savior to them. It was something that had to do with their past together, but nobody ever dared to work out what it was.

"Haha, Mukuro, that's amazing. You actually stopped Ken from eating," Yamamoto laughed.

"Kufufu… indeed," he replied still chuckling on his own personal joke. The guy was strange like that, with a mysterious background and a mysterious air to him. Nobody knew what his real eye color was either because Mukuro always wore colored contacts that made his eyes mismatched – one red and one blue. "Oh, and Tsunayoshi-kun, I could speak to Reborn-sensei for you if you want to," Mukuro offered.

"Uh… it's okay, Mukuro. Reborn-sensei doesn't like you very much, ne?" Tsuna replied uncertainly.

"Oya, is Tsunayoshi-kun concerned about me? Don't worry, after all, the teachers dislike me for a reason, kufufufu…" Mukuro murmured before he started chuckling darkly again, and Tsuna decided it was better not to question what that 'reason' was, looking at Yamamoto and giving him a weirded out expression. Yamamoto just laughed lightly, reaching out to ruffle the fluffy brownish hair of his friend.

Yamamoto and Tsuna had been friends with the three ex-Kokuyo students for a year now, but they still sometimes didn't really get them. Ken was very animalistic and loud, rather crazy and hyper for most of the time for no particular reason, whilst Chikusa was the opposite, as expressionless and stoic as a wall. Maybe that's why the two were best friends – they cancelled each other out perfectly. And as for Mukuro… the guy was plain weird – with his strange chuckles, his deliberately mismatched eyes, his smile that allowed nobody to figure what he's thinking, and the dark aura that oozed from him like someone who had been through almost every pain in life.

"Eh? Kakipii~ who's that guy? I've never seen him before," Ken nudged Chikusa, motioning the megane to look at someone who just walked past the outside of their classroom.

Yamamoto followed where Ken was looking at, before his eyes widened. The student he saw had pale skin with emerald green eyes and unmistakable silver hair.

…_Gokudera Hayato?_

_He's in… my school?_

"That's… Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna was also staring wide eyed at the silvernette.

"Eh? Tsuna, you know him?" Yamamoto asked his friend, surprised at Tsuna's recognition.

"Ah, yes. He used to live right next to me, we were good childhood friends until he moved elsewhere," Tsuna explained before he stood up, "I'm going to go talk to him." And before Yamamoto could even ask to go with him, Tsuna was off, jogging through the door, tripping slightly, but eventually making it to Gokudera.

Yamamoto watched as Tsuna approached the silvernette before he saw the flash of happiness in Gokudera's eyes as they recognized the brown haired boy. The baseball player was then completely dumbstruck when he saw what happened next. Gokudera smiled – and it wasn't a smirk either. It was a completely innocent, genuinely happy smile that made those emerald eyes sparkle as he talked to Tsuna. Yamamoto couldn't get over it. The guy who he thought was like a cautious stray cat was now smiling…

"Oya, oya… isn't that Gokudera Hayato from the infamous Dynamite?" Mukuro murmured.

"-wha… you know him too?" Yamamoto immediately turned towards Mukuro.

"Not on a personal level, but I do know quite a lot about him. I'm really interested in color gang warfare, you see, so of course I know about one of the strongest members in one of the most famous gangs," Mukuro replied.

Yamamoto was yet again surprised. He knew Gokudera belonged to Dynamite, but the fact that he's one of the strongest members? He looked far too delicate for that.

Mukuro continued, "…but really, I never thought someone who's known as the 'Smoking Bomb' would smile so innocently like that. It's not a smile like one of Prince the Ripper's from Varia either. Kufufu, interesting…"

"You mean, Bel?" Yamamoto thought of the self renowned 'prince' in his year group. The blonde guy was well known for his insane actions and his strong position in the Varia gang – and he did smile a lot; he snickered too. But his wide, bright Cheshire cat smile was completely different from Gokudera's smile right now. Gokudera had on a smile that looked like he had just seen the sky for the first time… and it was absolutely beautiful – he was right to have thought of Gokudera as an angel at first glance.

"Yeah… it's nothing like Bel's."

* * *

**A/N**: First chapter! Hope you guys liked it! Please review :D –cuddles readers-


	2. Between Bruises and Scars

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **crude language in this chapter.

**A/N:** Thank you for all of your reviews, favourites and alerts! They mean a lot to me! :D

* * *

Gokudera could not believe it.

Not only did he find out today that his school was filled with almost the entire _freaking_ group of the Varia gang_ leaders_, but he was in fact in the same class as Belphegor – his arch nemesis in Varia, also known as Prince the Ripper for how Bel refers to himself as a 'prince' and for his obsession with blood. Plus, he was also told that the infamous Rokudo Mukuro was in his year group – _the_ Rokudo Mukuro whom the founder of Dynamite, Lancia, had always told him to never trust.

The only positive thing that had happened on his first day at Namimori High School was that he had met Sawada Tsunayoshi – his best and only true friend from since he was very young. The two were suddenly separated after Primary when Gokudera's family moved away from Tsuna's neighborhood, and Gokudera had entered the young underground world during the absence of him, but Gokudera never stopped admiring the brown haired boy. Tsuna was the kind of person who was just so _pure _that it was unbelievable – the kind of person who would do everything for the people he cared for, who would always put others before himself and would never take advantage of others. Through Gokudera's lifetime and through his mother's death, Tsuna had been like his light, showing him that there are ways to make things better, and he looked up to Tsuna because the boy was something that Gokudera could never be.

But then, tagged along with Tsuna was someone unexpected. Someone that Gokudera never thought he would meet again in his life.

Tsuna had introduced the guy to him during lunch time, when the different classes could finally meet. "Gokudera-kun… this is my friend, Yamamoto."

Namimori was, indeed, an incredibly small town.

"Hey, Gokudera," There he was, standing in front of him, looking even taller than two days before in his uniform with that carefree smile still permanent on his face – those dark chocolate eyes as as warm and gentle as he remembered them to be.

_Yamamoto Takeshi._

Gokudera just stood there staring at him, not knowing how he should respond. He wasn't sure whether his mouth was hanging open or not, but at that point, he didn't really care.

This guy, Yamamoto, had seen a side of him that he would never usually show towards a stranger. On the day that they met he was taken by surprise and he was acting very… _tame_, whereas with most people he would give off a gangly, don't-give-a-fuck attitude. And Gokudera was not happy about revealing a more vulnerable side of him to this guy – it was not how he wanted to be remembered. He was freaking Gokudera Hayato, the 'Smoking Bomb', one of the most fierce and strongest fighters of Dynamite – that was him. The guy who fainted in front of some stranger's house and acted all quiet and neat afterwards… that was not who he wanted anybody to know, and he wasn't sure whether it was too late to change Yamamoto's impression of him.

So he stood there, giving Yamamoto a 'look' which gave the message that he didn't want Yamamoto to remember they had met.

However, the guy was clueless.

"Haha, what a coincidence. I never thought you would enroll in my school," Yamamoto spoke with a bright smile, and Gokudera mentally face palmed.

_Ugh… the idiot._

Tsuna was confused, "Eh? You guys met before?"

Gokudera was about to deny it but Yamamoto was faster, "Yup. He fainted in front of my house so I helped him out."

Once again, Gokudera felt like slamming his head onto a wall. Or, even better, slam Yamamoto's head into a wall and maybe attempt to wipe that damn smile off his face.

"You fainted?" Tsuna turned to Gokudera with concerned eyes, "You should take care of yourself more, Gokudera-kun."

Gokudera nodded, though he avoided meeting Tsuna's eyes, "Yeah… I know."

The three of them sat themselves on a free table in the dining hall, starting to eat their lunch. During this time, Gokudera avoided any sort of conversation or eye-contact with Yamamoto at all costs, whereas with Tsuna, he smiled lightly and talked to the boy in the nicest possible way. The contrast was so great it was noticeable. To Gokudera, Yamamoto was like a non-existent being that he completely ignored, whereas Tsuna was a precious gem that meant more to him than anything.

Tsuna had noticed the exclusion and had tried to bring Yamamoto into the conversation, but Gokudera wouldn't even listen to what Yamamoto was saying. Those emerald eyes wouldn't take a single glance at him. Yamamoto was confused and slightly frustrated, though he kept on eating peacefully – his optimistic nature undamaged.

Half way through the meal, the three ex-Kokuyo students joined the table, meeting Gokudera for the first time.

Gokudera's first impression of Ken was rather negative. The guy reminded him of Squalo and Bel from the Varia gang combined – with a wild animal thrown into the mix. As a member of a color gang Gokudera had met many people who had raw personalities, but Ken was just… animalistic. Not to mention, excessively loud both verbally and action-wise.

Along with Ken came Chikusa, who trailed after the blonde like a silent shadow. Chikusa, in Gokudera's opinion, looked way too quiet to hang around with someone like Ken. The guy wore glasses and a white beanie with a simple hair cut which made him look rather like a nerd, his concentration fully focused on the yoyo he was playing with.

Then, there was Mukuro – _Rokudo Mukuro_, the guy whose name Gokudera had heard so many times before. Lancia, his boss, had told him to never trust this name, and if possible, never be involved with the person at all. And from the moment he saw Mukuro, Gokudera could understand why Lancia would warn him so. Even before Mukuro even introduced himself, Gokudera knew, without doubt, that it was him.

Mukuro gave of a vibe that was nothing but dark and dangerous, and yet, very mysterious and alluring at the same time. Not only were his mismatched eyes weird, but the way his eyes looked at things as though he could see through every truth and lie was even more intimidating. How the guy held himself was also peculiar – those lips curving in an angle that was suspicious in every way. His dark blue hair was also parted and set in an awkward way, but in a style that fitted him flawlessly.

"Kufufufu… Gokudera Hayato is it not? I have heard your name before," Mukuro spoke as soon as he approached the table, "I'm Rokudo Mukuro." The smile on his face was indefinable. Then, Mukuro motioned towards the other two ex-Kokuyo students behind him, "This is Joshima Ken and Kakimoto Chikusa."

Gokudera leaned his head towards one side, eyeing the three of them, "Tch. I heard your name before, Mukuro."

Mukuro smirked, "Kufufu… oya, is that so? Seems like Lancia had yet to forgive me for our past conflict, judging from the way those eyes of yours are looking at me."

"I doubt it's his fault," Gokudera mumbled, already developing a dislike for Mukuro. Lancia was a person he respected, and he knew his boss would not hate someone so deeply without reason.

"Oi, don't speak to Mukuro-sama like that," Ken butted in, but Mukuro held his friend back.

"It's alright. I'd hate to create conflict between us on our first meeting. Kufufu…" Mukuro then walked over and sat down next to Tsuna with Ken, whilst Chikusa seated himself beside Gokudera before everyone continued to eat.

However, it was somewhat an awkward atmosphere for the rest of the lunch break, not much conversation going on across the table: Gokudera still avoiding any conversation with Yamamoto whilst shooting glares at Mukuro; Mukuro just being his typical unusual self though slightly more provocative towards Gokudera; and Tsuna in the middle of it all, not knowing what to do. It seemed like the only two people who were unaffected by the awkwardness were Ken – who was too clueless and indulged in eating to care – and Chikusa – who was indifferent as always.

Already, Gokudera could foresee future issues right on his first day of school.

* * *

"Gokudera, wait up!"

_Ignore. Ignore. Ignore._

"Gokudera! Wait!"

_Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Igno-_

"Gokudera!"

_Damn it. Fuck this._

"What?" Gokudera spun around to face Yamamoto who had been following him from since the moment the school day ended. Tsuna had a detention with Reborn sensei, and because of that, Gokudera had no reason to hang around Yamamoto any longer. Yamamoto, however, seemed to have missed the message.

"You're walking way too fast," Yamamoto said, smiling lightly like he always did.

Gokudera crossed his arms, a clear frown on his face, "How is that your problem?"

_Yeah. This is who I am. The Gokudera you met doesn't fucking exist._

Yamamoto blinked, before he replied, "Well, it's not exactly a problem but wouldn't it be better to just relax and chill out a bit?"

"Tch. Mind your own bloody business," Gokudera spat before he continued walking, taking large, quick strides, obviously trying to get rid of Yamamoto.

But unfortunately for him, Yamamoto wasn't someone who would give up that easily, "Why are you avoiding me?"

_Just ignore him._

Gokudera didn't reply, he just continued to walk with that constant fast pace. Yamamoto walked after him with the exact same speed, "Gokudera, if you won't tell me I won't get it."

_Just. Keep. Walking._

Yamamoto sped up and grabbed his wrist, "Gokudera-"

Immediately, Gokudera pulled his arm out of Yamamoto's grip before he pinned the baseball player up against the wall, one hand gripping his collar tightly.

"Stop annoying me. I am not like you. I'm a fucking leading member of the mother fucking Dynamite gang. I _hurt _people. So if you want to continue living your happy freaking life, just leave. Me. Alone." Gokudera spoke through gritted teeth, glaring up at Yamamoto.

There was a long moment of silence that Yamamoto and Gokudera had their eyes locked. Emerald eyes glaring and threatening whilst those deep brown eyes looked back, confused – before slowly, they changed into something else. Something much gentler and warmer than anything Gokudera had ever seen – and he couldn't stand it. Gokudera had to hide his eyes away from that gaze, though his fists on Yamamoto's shirt remained tight.

"Gokudera…" Yamamoto murmured, "…it's okay."

Gokudera didn't get it. He didn't understand what was okay. How he threatened Yamamoto? How he was annoyed? What? What was okay?

Then, slowly, Yamamoto rested his palm on Gokudera's fist that was gripping his shirt – and almost instantly Gokudera pulled away. But this time, Yamamoto didn't let go. Gokudera frowned and tried to remove Yamamoto's hand, but the grip was tighter than he expected.

"What the fuck do you want?" Gokudera muttered in frustration, still trying to pull his hand away.

"I just want to know you," Yamamoto said, a smile re-emerging on his face.

"_Why_?" Gokudera asked, exasperated. He didn't get this guy. Not one little bit. That smile, that optimistic attitude, that strange determination to be 'nice' to him. What was that all about? Gokudera just could not understand why Yamamoto wanted to get to know him so badly.

Yamamoto smiled, "You're interesting."

"…_interesting_? What, because I'm a member of a color gang? Why don't you go befriend all the fucking Varia members in Nami High then – there's already that asshole Bel in my class," Gokudera went on, before he pulled his arm another time, "Let go."

"It's not just that," Yamamoto said, "It's… your personality. It reminds me of a cat, kinda."

"A _cat_?" Gokudera repeated incredulously, "What the hell's so special about that? And you've only just met me two fucking times."

"Well…" Yamamoto looked down at this point, before he looked back up at Gokudera's face and finally said, "Honestly, it's your smile."

"_What_?" Gokudera stared at him, not believing his ears – he even forgot about the Yamamoto's hand on his own.

Yamamoto laughed lightly, "You're just really different. Your silver hair, green eyes…"

"So what, I'm a mother fucking alien now just because I have different hair and eye color?" Gokudera asked, still not understanding what Yamamoto was trying to say.

"Ahaha, no, I didn't mean it that way," Yamamoto smiled, before he murmured the next line shyly, "…you're just really pretty."

…

That was it. That was crossing the line.

After the initial shock was over, Gokudera reached up with his free hand before he punched Yamamoto full on across the face – hard enough that Yamamoto had to release his hold and fall over to the side. But after his fall, Yamamoto just sat up again, holding his jaw with one hand and he was… laughing lightly – as if the punch didn't affect him at all. Gokudera found it absolutely ridiculous.

"Ah… hahaha, ow, you punch hard, Gokudera," Yamamoto smiled at him.

"…what the fuck?" was the only thing Gokudera managed to utter before he continued, "I don't fucking get you. Just… what the hell?" and as Yamamoto kept on laughing lightly, Gokudera just shook his head and walked off, frowning deeply.

_What is up with him? What is he even trying to do?_

_Fucking hit on me? What, he's gay?_

_And to hell with the 'you're pretty' bullshit. I'm a fucking guy. You don't say that to-_

_Fuck. Why am I even getting frustrated over this?_

Yamamoto looked at Gokudera's back as he left, the smile still remaining on his face even though it was throbbing from the silvernette's punch.

"…haha, guess I really deserved it for saying that to him."

* * *

"Eh? Gokudera-kun, what happened to your lips?"

The lunch table's attention was immediately diverted to Gokudera the moment he approached the table the next day, as Tsuna pointed out the very obvious damage on the corner of his lips. The flesh was split with a bruise surrounding the wound.

"Ah, it's… nothing. I got punched by this asshole. You know, the usual gang stuff – nothing you should worry about," Gokudera replied, lifting his hand to touch the area.

Tsuna sighed, "Why is it that my friends get hurt a lot? Yamamoto got punched yesterday too – it's even bruised. I wonder who could do such a horrible thing."

Gokudera swallowed thickly, realizing that it was – in actual fact – _him_ who did the 'horrible thing' to Yamamoto. The dark bruise on the baseball's player cheek showing up on the exact same place he punched the guy was the perfect evidence. But it wasn't like it was his fault, wasn't it? Yamamoto was asking for it by annoying him and saying such inappropriate things.

_Pretty…? _Gokudera couldn't even look at the guy straight in the face anymore even if he wanted to.

Yamamoto observed Gokudera as the silvernette sat himself beside Tsuna on the lunch table, and he noticed how those emerald eyes still refused to look at him. Though this time, it wasn't so much a case of avoidance, but rather a case of awkwardness. The difference between the two was so slight but yet so significant – and Yamamoto could tell them apart. Gokudera didn't face him not because he didn't want to, but because he didn't know how to act if he looked at him right in the eyes. Yamamoto wondered what reaction would Gokudera give if he did connect eye contact with him – would he blush? Or would he scowl? Or both, even? Yamamoto couldn't stop guessing.

Even after that punch, Yamamoto still felt like he wanted to know Gokudera better. In fact, he found Gokudera even more interesting after yesterday's confrontation. When Gokudera had pinned him against the wall, he saw something in those deep green eyes – something that he was familiar with, to a certain extent.

_I am not like you. I'm a fucking leading member of the mother fucking Dynamite gang. I hurt people._

It was pain – pain and anger, but not at Yamamoto in particular. Gokudera's anger was directed towards himself, the pain created inside of him due to himself. Yamamoto could identify the gleam in those green eyes right away – because he, too, had experienced it in the past, though it seemed almost impossible for such an optimistic guy like him. But Yamamoto had definitely gone through a certain level of that emotion before: self-hatred. That's what it was – and Yamamoto could see that Gokudera clearly had it too. Thus, he felt like he could somehow empathize with the silvernette and connect with him. He wanted to know why Gokudera felt that way and help him go through it, because he, more than anyone, understood what it felt like to be in that position.

Yamamoto had already decided to get to know Gokudera no matter what. Just a punch to the face wouldn't stop him.

"Oya, now that I thought about it… isn't it strange that a leading member of Dynamite got punched so very easily?" Mukuro spoke up during the middle of lunch.

Gokudera frowned, "What, I can't make mistakes once in a while?"

"Heh, only suckers make mistakes," Ken said, smirking.

"That's not nice, Ken," Chikusa mumbled, but his comment was ignored.

"Yeah? I bet this 'sucker' can fuck your face up in five seconds," Gokudera challenged, before he added, "Not that it will make much of a difference to your appearance."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Ken growled.

"I said, I can beat the shit out of you right now, _sucker_," Gokudera smirked.

Ken glared at him before suddenly, he paused, and eventually smirked, "Ha, as if a transvestite could even throw a proper punch."

Gokudera stood up at that point, "Repeat that and I will make you regret your birth, cunt face."

Ken stood up as well, "Eh? You're not? Heh, well sorry, I just couldn't tell the difference from the way you dress."

Gokudera gritted his teeth, "You mother fu-"

"Maa, maa, calm down now," Yamamoto interrupted the two of them, pulling Gokudera back down on his chair, but Gokudera jerked his hands away.

"None of your fucking business, idiot," he spat at Yamamoto before going back to Ken, "Now you-"

"Maa, Gokudera," Yamamoto grabbed the silvernette once more, before he spoke loud and clear, "You're scaring Tsuna."

That did the trick. As soon as Gokudera saw Tsuna's troubled expression his anger instantly evaporated before he sat himself back down and reluctantly went back to eating his food, murmuring, "…sorry, Tsuna."

"Ah, it's okay, Gokudera-kun," Tsuna replied, still rather frightened by Ken and Gokudera's exchange.

"What? You're giving up already? Ha, talk about all bark and no bite, bitch," Ken stuck his tongue out at Gokudera, and the silvernette took all the self control he had not to punch the animalistic guy across the jaw.

Fortunately, Chikusa smoothly entered the picture, "Ken, that's enough."

Ken turned to his friend, "Whatever Kakipii, why should I listen to a stupid kappa-head who-"

"Ken." Chikusa repeated his name, this time his pale hand gripping on Ken's wrist, those blue eyes looking intensely at Ken through his glasses.

Ken faltered, sitting back down in his seat, complaining, "Oi, whatever, Kakipii! Just go eat your weird salad." Finding something to take his frustration out on, Ken ended up violently poking Chikusa's salad with his fork.

"You don't have to abuse my lunch just because you're too childish to eat anything else but meat," Chikusa mumbled again, his face still just as expressionless as before.

"Shut up, Kakipii!" Ken yelled at him, but Chikusa remained unaffected, as still as a doll.

During all this, a certain dark haired person had sat silently, observing the situation without getting involved, his mismatched eyes calculating.

_So Smoking Bomb has quite a short temper as expected, though I thought he would be more careful not to let anyone hit him on the face… strange. _

_But it seems like I was right to assume that Sawada Tsunayoshi has quite an importance to him… _

_Ah, but this one's surprising. Yamamoto Takeshi. He knew exactly what to say to calm the storm of Gokudera Hayato just from mere observations in the past days… oya, isn't this interesting. That natural intuition could become very useful…_

…_hm?_

_Ah, yes. Of course. Very useful indeed…_

"Kufufufu…" and once again, Rokudo Mukuro enjoyed his own personal joke that nobody ever understood.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon, and club activities had finally ended. Most of the students had already left the school, leaving the place with a much more peaceful, yet at the same time, lonely atmosphere as the quiet buildings bathed in the orange afternoon sun.

Yamamoto stood in the sport's area's shower, allowing the cool water to wash over his entire body after a long baseball practice. It had always been his passion to play baseball – he liked the adrenaline rush during the game, the swing of the bat, the feel of throwing the ball… and every time he caught a ball and heard that satisfying 'clump' as it hit his gloves, he would feel calm and happy with his present life. With this passion and natural talent, Yamamoto easily became the ace of the team, though he never boasted his skills or looked down on amateurs. For him, baseball was part of his life, and if anyone had the same desire to play it, then he would always be happy to share the joy he had in every game.

Stepping out of the shower, one towel wrapped loosely around his waist whilst another hung around his neck, Yamamoto realized that he was the only player left. But that didn't bother him, in fact, on some occasions Yamamoto rather enjoyed the solitary peace.

_Maybe that's why Hibari likes to be alone. _He thought, before a smile emerged on his face with the image of Hibari appearing in his mind. He hadn't seen the prefect for two days now, and honestly, Yamamoto missed him – that face which always seemed to be unsatisfied about something, those eagle-like dark, sharp eyes, and that threatening yet calm demeanor. He knew Hibari stayed at school much later than he did and he would definitely find him in the prefect's council, but Yamamoto couldn't find a reasonable excuse to do so. It would seem weird for him to suddenly pop into the room just because he 'felt like it' – and knowing Hibari's hatred of his personal peace being interrupted, Yamamoto was certain visiting the prefect like that would be of no positive gain for him.

Yamamoto sighed, pulling on a clean set of PE clothes, before he sat down and started wiping his hair dry, thinking of ways he would be able to meet Hibari.

_I couldn't get in another detention either. That would be breaking too many school rules and Hibari would start hating me… but I really do want to see him…_

CLANG.

A loud noise coming from outside of the showers interrupted Yamamoto's thoughts, and he stood up, wondering what it was.

CLANG. CLANG.

It sounded like two pieces of metal hitting each other, and Yamamoto wondered who could possibly be causing that noise this late in the afternoon. Curiously, the baseball player stepped quietly closer to the source of the sounds before he poke his head around the wall to peak on what was going on.

_Ah, that's…_

"Kufufu… your anger really does amuse me to no end," Mukuro was standing there with something that looked rather like a sharp trident in his hands. The trident was pressed against something else that another person was holding, but from where Yamamoto was standing, he couldn't see who that person was.

CLANG. CLANG.

The two pieces of metal continued to clash before Mukuro spoke once more with that smile still present on his face, "Ah, when will you ever give up, Hibari Kyouya?"

_Eh…? Hibari?_

As soon as Yamamoto heard that name, he leaned over a bit more so that he could really confirm that the other person was the prefect – and sure enough, standing there with tonfas in both of his hands was Hibari Kyouya, panting and sweating slightly, glaring harshly at Mukuro.

"Kufufu… I do wonder what I could possibly have done to make you hate me this much," Mukuro continued to taunt him whilst effortlessly moving his trident to block off Hibari's tonfas. The two were fighting at an incredible speed, though it seemed like none truly overpowered the other. However, whilst Hibari seemed to be giving his all on attacking Mukuro, the younger appeared to be just enjoying Hibari's rampage, blocking only when necessary and never taking the initiative to attack.

"I _will_ defeat you," Hibari said, panting as he continued to try and hit Mukuro with his tonfas.

"Oya? Is that so?" Mukuro smirked, before suddenly he took a quick move, and in a flash, Hibari was thrown against the wall with Mukuro's trident pinned only millimeters away from his face, Mukuro's gloved hand wrapped tight around his throat. A cut inflicted on Hibari's cheek from the action began to ooze up with blood before it started dipping down his face.

"Kufufu… I could've pierced your neck if I wanted to," Mukuro's smile was menacing, before he moved closer as he continued to speak, "I wasn't even being serious. You have to try harder than that, Hibari Kyouya." Mukuro pressed hard on Hibari's neck, causing the prefect to choke slightly, before he abruptly let go, leaving red marks on that pale neck as Hibari coughed for air.

"I'm bored of playing with you today," Mukuro murmured, and with that, he walked away, closing up the full length of his trident.

Hibari was left standing there, panting and humiliated once again by the very same mismatched-eyed guy. The Skylark hated losing – but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't win against Mukuro.

Yamamoto, who had been frozen by the action, hesitated on what to do. He didn't interrupt the fight because he knew Hibari would hate to be 'saved' by another person, but now that Mukuro was gone, he wasn't sure whether it would be fine to approach Hibari now either. Would Hibari be embarrassed that his lost to Mukuro was witnessed?

_I had no idea Mukuro was that strong… _Yamamoto thought. He had heard rumors that Mukuro was an ex-leader of a color gang and that he was involved in the actual mafia world, but Yamamoto didn't think that it could be true. But now, he wasn't so sure. After all, Hibari was an incredibly strong fighter, and he lost to Mukuro who, apparently, wasn't even being 'serious'.

"…who's there?" all of a sudden, Yamamoto was snapped out of his thoughts by Hibari's voice. "Answer me," Hibari repeated again, and Yamamoto realized that it was directed towards him.

_No use in hiding now. _

"Heh, it's just me, Hibari," Yamamoto stepped out from behind the wall, smiling sheepishly.

Hibari looked at him, before he went back to looking at the floor, "You saw."

It wasn't a question, but Yamamoto nodded anyways. The baseball player then slowly walked towards the prefect, making sure that Hibari was well-aware of his moves. Yamamoto could see that Hibari was upset, and he didn't want to risk making him anymore unhappier than he already was. But, surprisingly, even when Yamamoto was standing right next to Hibari, their shoulders almost touching, the prefect didn't seem to mind – or more accurately, he didn't seem to care, which was strange of him, nonetheless. Usually, Hibari would never allow anyone to come this close to him – not that Yamamoto minded.

Then, it was silent. Neither Yamamoto nor Hibari said anything as they stood there together. The pressure was eating Yamamoto up.

_What should I do? Should I say something to him? Say what, though? Or do I just stand here and keep quiet? What am I supposed to do?_

But then, all of a sudden, Hibari did something that stopped Yamamoto from thinking – and even breathing – altogether. The prefect leaned his head on Yamamoto's shoulders, those sharp eyes closed. Yamamoto stiffened, his heart thumping so hard he was afraid Hibari could hear, but he could do nothing about it. The weight of Hibari's head on his shoulders, the soft brush of his hair, the proximity of their bodies and most of all that faintly sweet scent of him… it was making Yamamoto crazy.

Yamamoto didn't dare speak nor breathe. His body was just tense, afraid that a slight movement would bring an end to this almost heavenly position. But even though Yamamoto didn't understand why the sudden intimacy occurred, he wasn't going to complain. He was already over the moon in happiness.

"Tired…" Hibari murmured softly as he exhaled, the sound causing goose bumps to run all over Yamamoto's body. It took all he had not to pull Hibari in and embrace that petite body close to his own.

Yamamoto wished that the moment could last forever, but as he felt something wet drip down his shirt, he had to interrupt the moment himself. "Ah- Hibari, you're bleeding." The blood from the cut on Hibari's cheek was leaking out so much it had started to drip onto Yamamoto's shirt and onto the floor.

"Hn," Hibari mumbled in response, slowly lifting his head up from Yamamoto's shoulders and lifting his fingers up to feel the cut. Yamamoto was unwilling to lose that rare intimacy with the prefect, but for him, Hibari's well being was more important.

"Let me see," Yamamoto murmured, pulling Hibari towards him to take a look at the cut. The wound, he realized, was actually deeper than he thought.

Hibari looked at Yamamoto's face curiously as the baseball player observed his cheek. Those brown eyes were filled with genuine worry and concern – it reminded him of someone all too well.

"You should go to the infirmary… come on," Yamamoto instinctively took hold of Hibari's wrist and started tugging him along. But as he realized what he was doing and was about to let go and apologize, he noticed that Hibari didn't actually try to pull away. Yamamoto, pleasantly surprised, paused for a moment, before smiled brightly to himself and continued to walk, firmly holding on to Hibari's small wrist – and the Skylark, for once, obediently followed the younger to the infirmary.

_That hand. Warm. Just like him._

As soon as they reached the empty infirmary, Yamamoto let Hibari wait on the bed as he searched for the medical equipment. Then, he started on cleaning the cut.

The medicine stung, but Hibari wasn't one to complain on petty little pains. Instead, he focused on looking at Yamamoto, at the concentration in those eyes and that slight smile that seemed to be permanent on his face.

Yamamoto, noticing Hibari looking up at him, laughed shyly, "Heh, Hibari, if you keep on staring like that I can't focus."

"Hn," Hibari replied, changing his gaze to looking at the ceiling instead. From Yamamoto, he could smell a fresh scent of soap and shampoo, and he realized that he liked the smell. It was refreshing and clean… a scent that was very fitting for the baseball player. He also noticed Yamamoto's steady breathing, slightly longer than the average person – as expected of one who plays sports regularly. Though Hibari's eyes weren't focused on Yamamoto, his attention was still subconsciously on him.

Before Hibari knew it, Yamamoto was already applying the bandage to his face, smiling warmly at him, "Done."

Hibari looked up at him then, and found that Yamamoto was looking back down at him as well, those chocolate orbs meeting his sharp dark eyes. Only now did he realize the proximity between them – how close Yamamoto's face really was.

Yamamoto almost couldn't resist the temptation. Hibari's face was so close to his own, those slightly parted lips just begging to be kissed – but he held back, knowing that it would be way too soon. True, Hibari had let his guard down today, but that didn't mean he could take advantage of the situation. More than anything, Yamamoto feared that Hibari would hate him.

Thus, the baseball player settled for something much less, but intimate nevertheless. He reached up and gently traced the bandage on Hibari's cheek with his thumb, brushing away the strands of hair that were on the prefect's face. Hibari stared up at him, not fully happy with what he was doing but no rejecting him either. Their eyes were locked in that perfect moment for so long, Yamamoto's brown eyes looking at Hibari's in a way that made the prefect blush unwillingly, feeling the rush of blood in his cheeks. Yamamoto smiled, noticing that tiny blush, before he stood up and backed away from Hibari, satisfied with just that – for now, at least.

"…I better go now," Yamamoto said, walking towards the door before he waved at him, smiling brightly, "See ya, Hibari."

And then he was gone, leaving Hibari sitting there alone on the bed, Yamamoto's smile imprinted in his mind.

_That… was close. _Hibari thought. He knew that he had weakened today in front of Yamamoto – leaning on him like that, and allowing him to do much more than he should. But he never thought that it would have any effect on him. Just now, when Yamamoto was so close they could feel each other's breath, Hibari knew very well what could've happened – and yet, he didn't push Yamamoto away. The touch of Yamamoto's fingertips on him was still warm on his face, and he blushed once again remembering how gentle and careful Yamamoto was.

Then, Hibari shook his head, trying to snap himself out of it.

This was dangerous. He had been put in this situation before, and back then, it was also a moment of weakness like this that had led to a permanent scar inside of him. Hibari had gone through that pain – that heartache – before, and he didn't want to go through it again. Not anymore.

But he knew it would be hard – especially when Yamamoto reminded him so much of that person who scarred him.

* * *

**A/N:** I'll leave it to you to guess who 'scarred' Hibari ;) More Goku coming up in the next chap! Please review, my luvlay readers... for faster updates! :D


	3. A Positive Runaway

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **Violence and abuse in this chapter.

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews and the support! Means a lot to me that you take the time to review my work! ^_^ Mainly Goku-chan in this chapter, and a bit of Hiba ;)

And… I have a beta-reader now! She is '**The Shifter Simply Weird**', and I'm so glad she is here to sort out all of my English crap! ;)

* * *

"I'm home," Gokudera muttered as he entered his house, though he knew that there would never be a proper reply. It was a rare occasion for his father to be sober enough to even register his presence at all.

Gokudera took off his shoes and socks before he walked through the living room, trying to be as silent as he could so that his father wouldn't notice him. But there was no such luck.

"Oi, Hayato, you're back already you ungrateful little fucker?" His dad, Gokudera Chisato, slurred from the sofa. His hand held an empty bottle of beer which matched with the numerous others lying around on the carpet. "What have you been up to today? Still wrecking people's lives? That's your thing isn't it? You ruin every single fucking thing."

"I was at school," Gokudera mumbled grimly, not facing his father.

"Oh? School?" Chisato bursted out laughing, "Like hell you were. How long is it gonna be this time before they kick you out, stupid shit? Fuck the bloody law forcing me to pay for you to learn – you realize that, brat? I work so fucking hard for them to teach you – as if it would ever do anything better for your retarded brain. Ungrateful shit…"

_Huh, 'work' my ass. All I see is a fucking alcoholic leeching off mum's money. _Gokudera thought bitterly as he made his way up the stairs.

"You can keep on running away, Hayato, but you know it's your fault you're worth nothing. You hear me, brat? You're fucking worthless…" Chisato called after him, and Gokudera just kept walking, trying to ignore his father's painful words. It wasn't until he had reached his room that Gokudera started breathing properly again, throwing himself onto the bed.

It hadn't always been like this in his family – if that's what you could even call it. There used to be his mum and Bianchi, Gokudera's half-sister. True, Gokudera Chisato had never been a brilliant dad, but he had loved and cared for his wife and children. After Bianchi's mother died, he married Hayato's mum and had Hayato – and he was still in good shape, working his job, being a good father for his family. But after his second wife died in a car accident, everything seemed to break apart. Chisato started failing in his career, earning less and less money before he eventually turned towards alcohol to solve his problems. But the more he drank, the worse it got.

Then, when Bianchi took off with her boyfriend it was the final straw. Chisato became an alcoholic and all the love he ever had for anything, but drinks, seemed to have died out altogether. His son's presence became a burden, a nuisance, and a painful reminder of the death of his second wife. Gokudera joining Dynamite didn't help – it only made Chisato hate his own child even more, for Bianchi's disapproved boyfriend was a former color gang member.

The older Gokudera grew, the more his home life became a suffering routine of torture. He spent more time at Lancia's house with Dynamite than at his own. For him, anywhere but home was an escape – an escape from his dad, from the mean, painful words, and from the guilt and the blame that he didn't deserve.

"Meow~," a soft purring sound came from beneath Gokudera's bed, and the silvernette bent down to pick up his cat, Uri. Gokudera had found Uri, starving in the streets, and had saved the little cat by taking it home, feeding it with whatever he could find in the kitchen. From then on, Uri had become his unofficial pet, frequently visiting Gokudera's bedroom, giving Gokudera some company in his lonely house. Of course, Chisato had no idea about the cat – he was too drunk to notice, even when Uri was freely prowling around the house.

"Hey, Uri… I didn't see you yesterday," Gokudera murmured as he smoothed the cat's fur, softly scratching its head. Uri purred pleasantly, curling itself comfortably on Gokudera's lap.

'…_your personality. It reminds me of a cat, kinda.'_

_Tch. The idiot. How am I even like a cat?_

"I'll try to find you something to eat when Dad's sleeping, kay?" Gokudera said, before he lifted Uri and put the cat aside so that he could unpack his school bag. Uri shook its tail, unhappy to be removed from Gokudera's lap, before walking over and curling itself on Gokudera's pillow instead.

Gokudera frowned, "Oi, don't sleep on my-"

BUZZ. BUZZ.

Gokudera was interrupted when his cell phone vibrated. He picked it up before he frowned when he saw an unknown number flashing on the screen. He picked up the line, "Who is this?"

[Hayato, it's me.]

Gokudera's eyes widened as he recognized the voice, "…Bianchi?"

[Yeah… it's been a while.]

"Yeah," Gokudera agreed. The last time Bianchi called was two months ago.

[You're… fine?]

"Managing," Gokudera mumbled, though he wasn't so sure.

[…how's dad?]

"Same as usual," Gokudera replied tiredly.

[Still drinking?]

"Duh."

[…does he still-]

"Yeah…" Gokudera quickly replied, lifting his hand to touch the wound on his lips. He had lied about it today at school. He wasn't punched by another color gang member – he would never be that careless.

Bianchi fell silent – her presence only confirmed by the sound of her breath. Then, she continued to speak, this time with a much softer voice.

[You know you could always come stay with me…]

Part of Gokudera wanted to – he really did. Even though Bianchi didn't come from the same mother, she was still his sister, and he did miss her. Anything would be better than living in his current position anyways. But the other part of him would hate being a burden to her, especially now that she had found her happiness.

"Nah," Gokudera replied, "I don't wanna see my sister being fucked by her boyfriend every day."

[Oh, shut up.]

Gokudera laughed lightly, "Ha, you know it's true. How's he doing by the way?"

[You mean Romeo?]

"Yeah, him –if you haven't already dumped him for a new guy."

[Hey, of course not. Romeo's fine, he's taking good care of me.]

"Good. Hope he's not spoiling you too much – you don't need any more of that crap."

[Heh, whatever.]

The two continued to have small conversations about this and that before a loud voice shouted in the background from Bianchi's side.

[…ah hell, I have to go now. My boss is yelling at me. I'll call again soon. Take care of yourself, 'kay? Bye!]

"…bye, Bianchi," Gokudera replied, but the line was already disconnected. Sighing, Gokudera flopped himself back onto the bed, slightly envying his sister. Bianchi was lucky to have escaped this hell hole he was trapped in – and from her voice he could tell that she was happy. Gokudera wondered whether he would ever find that happiness for himself.

BANG.

The loud hit on the door jumped Gokudera and he immediately sat upright again. Uri, shaken by the noise, hid itself beneath the bed.

"Oi," Chisato's slurred voice came through the door, "Open the door, brat."

Gokudera hesitated. The bedroom was his place of safety – his only place of peace in this house. He didn't want his father in this room.

BANG. BANG.

"I said open the fucking door!" Chisato yelled, fists banging against the wooden door. Gokudera had no choice. He made sure Uri was well hidden before he reluctantly unlocked the door.

SLAM.

The door was pushed open almost immediately before Chisato staggered his way through. His entire body stank of smoke and beer.

"What do you want?" Gokudera mumbled, not looking at his dad.

"You speak to your father like that, you little shit?" Chisato spat, before he narrowed his eyes at the cell phone in Gokudera's hand. "Who was on the phone just now?"

"My friend," Gokudera answered quickly, not meeting his eyes.

"Heh, as if anyone would want to be friends with a worthless piece of shit like you, Hayato," Chisato chuckled, before his tone became serious once again, "…I heard you call your sister's name."

Gokudera swallowed. "You heard wrong."

"Oh, I don't think so, brat," Chisato moved closer to him, "How often had she been calling you?"

"That was the first time," Gokudera lied.

"Liar," Chisato immediately grabbed Gokudera's collar, "You ruined my life, and now you're gonna fucking lie to me?"

Gokudera looked away, muttering under his breath, "…if it would stop you from destroying her life as well."

Chisato gripped his collar tighter, "What did you say?"

Gokudera remained silent. Chisato was angry, "Answer me!"

SLAM.

Gokudera flinched as he felt his father's fist hit his face right on the same spot he did yesterday, but he didn't let any sounds escape from his lips. He could feel the iron taste of blood on his tongue and he realized that his lips must have split again.

"Tell me where your sister is," Chisato mumbled, his grip still tight on Gokudera's collar.

"I don't fucking know," Gokudera honestly replied.

Chisato clenched his fists, "Fucking liar!"

SLAM.

Another punch. Another wound.

Gokudera was getting used to it.

Getting up off the floor and wiping the blood from his face with the back of his hand, Gokudera spoke, "I wouldn't tell you even if I knew. I won't let you drag her back into this shitty life."

THUMP.

"Ugh-" Gokudera couldn't stop the noise coming from his mouth when Chisato kicked him hard, right in the middle of his torso. But that didn't stop him from glaring up at his father with those emerald eyes. He hated his dad for hitting him, hated his dad for making his life a living hell, and he hated his dad for blaming him for everything that went wrong in both of their lives. But most of all, Gokudera hated how he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't even fight back.

"Arrogant bastard," Chisato spat, pointing the empty bottle at Gokudera, before he continued, "Next time you fucking complain, you'll get more than this. _Worthless piece of shit_."

CRASH.

The bottle was aimed directly at Gokudera , but due to Chisato's drunken state, he missed and the bottle hit the floor instead. However, the glass shards still bounced off the floor and cut Gokudera's flesh. Chisato saw, but he just turned away and walked off, slamming the door behind him.

Gokudera held on to his body, his hands cupping where it hurt the most. His lips were bleeding, his arm was bleeding and his stomach was throbbing painfully from where his father had kicked him. "Shit…" Gokudera mumbled, feeling the pain on his body, before all of a sudden he burst out, "Fuck you! Bloody asshole! It's not my fault you're a fucking loser! You're the one who ruined my fucking life! Damn it! Fuck!"

Gokudera violently threw a broken piece of glass at the door in anger before he exhaled harshly, abruptly standing up though one hand was still clutching on to his stomach. Quickly, Gokudera stuffed some clothes into a back pack before he opened the window and threw the bag outside. Looking at the bag land safely on the ground, Gokudera started climbing out of the window as well, struggling slightly with his body hurting.

"Meow~," Uri slowly crawled out from under the bed and looked up at Gokudera in confusion.

Gokudera looked at his cat, "I won't be here for a few days, 'kay? I'll leave the window open for you. Find your own food for now." He knew Uri wouldn't be able to understand half of what he said, but he still wanted to at least tell his cat before he left. Then, Gokudera slid out of his room through the window and balanced himself on the roof of the ground floor's window. As soon as he was steady, Gokudera swiftly jumped off onto the ground, landing softly. Bianchi was the one who taught him how to escape this way, and from experience, he had learnt how to do it without hurting himself.

Gokudera hurriedly picked up his back pack and then, he was off, though he didn't really know where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to escape somewhere for a few days – be anywhere but here.

* * *

"Ushishi… what's this? Smoking Bomb's beaten up~."

Gokudera was just walking along the streets, trying to contact Lancia, when all of a sudden, Belphegor of Varia popped up from behind him, that Cheshire cat smile bright on his face – or rather, on half of his face, since the other half was hidden beneath his blonde bangs.

_Great. The day just keeps getting better. _Gokudera thought, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not in the mood, Bel – neither of our gangs are here. Just leave," Gokudera spoke tiredly.

"Ehh? But the prince wants to play~," Bel complained childishly, though the smile on his face was anything but innocent.

Gokudera ignored the blonde, continuing to walk. But Bel wasn't giving up easily, the self-renowned 'prince' cheerfully skipping after him. "Ne, ne, the prince wonders who managed to beat you up so badly… and here I thought I was the only one, ushishi~."

"None of your fucking business," Gokudera muttered, still continuously walking, wishing Bel would just leave him alone for once.

Bel jumped in front of the silvernette, blocking his path, his face split in a smile, "Aw~, you're no fun today, Dynamite. Come on~. The prince can't fight with you if you're not going to fight back~."

"Deal with it," Gokudera spoke coldly, sidestepping and starting to walk again. But this time, Bel caught his arm.

"Hey…" Bel smiled freakishly, leaning his head closer to Gokudera so that his lips were right against the silvernette's ears, brushing slightly on his skin, "…the prince _will _get his fun."

Gokudera frowned, annoyed, "I already told you I'm not-"

SLAM.

Before Gokudera could even finish his sentence, Belphegor quickly slammed the silvernette's head against the wall – not hard enough to break his skull, but strongly enough to knock him unconscious.

"Ushishi~. Now boss would definitely like it if the prince brought Smoking Bomb back… but the prince is too lazy for that… hm~…How about this then? The prince will just have his fun and leave~. What do you think, Smoking Bomb? Too bad my knives are still being sharpened, ne? Ushishishi…"

* * *

**6.37 pm **

"Are you sure you don't need an umbrella?"

"Ah, it's fine, ma'am, I'll ride home in no time. Thank you for ordering our sushi," Yamamoto smiled brightly at his customer before he bowed to her and left, tucking the money he received into his pocket. This was his last delivery he had to finish for his dad, and now he could finally go home.

It was raining, and as Yamamoto made his way back to where he had parked his dad's motorcycle, he allowed the rain to shower his raincoat. Different from most people, Yamamoto liked rain – the sound of cool water splashing on the different materials in tiny little droplets. It was both calming and relaxing at the same time.

But during the walk, Yamamoto stopped when he noticed someone lying face down in the alley, soaking in the rain. Curious and concerned, Yamamoto approached the person, wondering what was wrong. As he walked closer he could slowly make out the features – it was a male, a teenager, judging from his body, and-

…!

Yamamoto's eyes widened in shock.

The guy had silver hair.

And there weren't many people who had silver hair in Namimori.

"Gokudera…?" Yamamoto immediately rushed towards the body and flipped him over, and he was right, the guy was definitely Gokudera Hayato – though in a state that nobody would have expected.

Gokudera's lips looked even worse than at school today and his face was darkly bruised, his limbs were cut everywhere with something which looked very much like wire marks and glass cuts and he was bleeding all over – so much that it was frightening – his blood mixing with the rain. His body was blanched even paler than before and his skin was cold, those lips almost rid of any color. Yamamoto felt like he was looking at a corpse, the only difference being that Gokudera was breathing.

"Gokudera!" Yamamoto shook the petite body, and slowly, those green eyes opened, weakly looking up at him.

…_Yamamoto?_

…_why is it that every time I faint, I wake up to see his face?_

"Gokudera… I'm going to take you to the hospital, okay?" Yamamoto told him.

_Hospital…?_

_Then… how is he going to pay? _

_Ah… they would probably call my-_

_Wait. No. NO._

Gokudera gripped on to Yamamoto's arm tightly, his eyes alarmed, before he mumbled weakly, "Don't… hospital…"

Yamamoto was confused, "Eh? But you-"

"No…" Gokudera murmured again, his grip on Yamamoto loosening as he felt his vision darken.

"…okay. Okay, no hospital. Just try to stay awake, alright?" Yamamoto whispered into his ear.

Gokudera didn't know how to respond anymore, he just kept listening to Yamamoto's panicked breathing, feeling something plastic being wrapped around him. Then, Gokudera felt his body being lifted from the pool of cold water in the ground, and all of a sudden he was surrounded by warmth. Leaning towards that warmth, he realized that it was Yamamoto's body when he heard the baseball player's heartbeat. But Gokudera could care less about the intimacy – right now, he was freezing, and he needed that warmth.

"Don't worry, Gokudera, you'll be okay," Yamamoto's soft voice was the last thing Gokudera heard before he lost consciousness once again.

* * *

Gokudera woke up in the middle of the night with a tremendous headache, feeling his entire body strained and uncomfortably heated, but as he kicked the blanket off himself he found that the air conditioning was also too cold. Curling himself into a ball and feeling his limbs, Gokudera found that they were covered in bandages. Then, everything came back to him.

_ Dad was being an asshole. Left the house. Met the psycho Bel. Then…_

_ Ah. That's right. Yamamoto._

Gokudera looked around and finally realized that he was not in his room, he was wearing an unfamiliar set of clothing, and this was not his bed, but it was Yamamoto's. Nobody else would be so obsessed to have as many baseball related objects. The only question was – if he's sleeping on Yamamoto's bed, then where was Yamamoto?

"Ugh-" Gokudera groaned when the headache hit him once again, the pain throbbing in his skull.

"Nnh…" a murmur came from beside the bed, and Gokudera found the answer to his previous question. Yamamoto was lying beside the bed on a futon, and hearing Gokudera's voice, the baseball player had woken up; rubbing his eyes as he slowly sat himself upright. Yamamoto turned to look at Gokudera, and once he saw those green eyes wide open, looking back at him, he smiled, "Ah, Gokudera, you're awake."

Gokudera didn't know what to reply, so he just waited as Yamamoto shuffled closer to him before he gently rested the back of his hand on his forehead. "Whoa… that's a high fever. You feel any headaches right now?"

"Nnh," Gokudera mumbled in reply, nodding – appalled to find that even the slight action made his head throb even more.

"I'll go get a cool pack* for you – then after breakfast you can take some aspirin, okay?" Yamamoto said, softly brushing Gokudera's hair back from his face.

"…'kay," Gokudera whispered his agreement, and he watched Yamamoto as he took out a cool pack from the mini-fridge in the room. Yamamoto then gently rolled Gokudera back to lying on his back before he carefully laid the towel-wrapped cool pack on his forehead.

"Are you cold?" Yamamoto asked.

"Yeah…" Gokudera murmured his soft reply, and Yamamoto nodded before he pulled up the blanket and covered it over Gokudera's body. The baseball player then picked up the air conditioning remote and increased the temperature, coming back to kneel next to Gokudera afterwards.

"The cuts on your body aren't that deep, so you don't have to worry about them now. My dad and I already dealt with all of them. You did lose quite a lot of blood though, so you need to get some sleep – and if you wake up, just call me, I'll be right here," Yamamoto said reassuringly.

Gokudera stared at him, at those deep brown eyes before he mumbled, "…why are you so fucking nice to me?" It was a question that he always wanted to ask, ever since the first time he had met him on the streets. Gokudera knew he never showed his appreciation for Yamamoto's help, and he never tried to be friendly with him either. In fact, it was the opposite – he had been mean to the guy, rejecting all of the innocent friendship offered towards him. Hell, he'd even punched Yamamoto in the face. So why would he still treat him so kindly?

Yamamoto just smiled – and it was an expression so warm that it touched Gokudera's heart, though he would never admit it, not even to himself – and murmured, "I want to be friends."

_'Heh, as if anyone would want to be friends with a worthless piece of shit like you, Hayato,'_

"Tch," Gokudera looked back at the ceiling before he muttered, "…you're an idiot."

"Ahaha," Yamamoto chuckled, taking no offense, before he continued softly, "…maybe I am."

Gokudera exhaled tiredly, looking at Yamamoto's smile once more before he closed his eyes.

_I still don't really get him, but maybe…_

_…maybe he's not as bad as I thought._

* * *

Gokudera was lying on the bed again, feeling better than before. After eating breakfast, taking some medicine and having another session of sleep, his headache was finally getting less intense, along with the pain of the injuries on his body – thanks to Yamamoto's help.

Yamamoto had decided to skip school today to look after him, and once again, Gokudera just could not believe how 'nice' this guy was. He couldn't understand why someone who was almost a complete stranger would look after him so caringly for the simple reason of wanting to be 'friends'.

What was the logic in that, anyways? Gokudera was one of the leaders of Dynamite, a color gang well-known for violence – that alone was enough to chase away anybody who preferred to live their lives peacefully. Furthermore, Gokudera had to admit, he wasn't one of the most socially friendly or compatible person either. Gokudera knew himself well. He knew how short-tempered, how much of an egoist and a hypocrite he was. Most of the words that escaped his lips were either insults or threats to shut others off from getting to know him. But with all that exposed, Yamamoto still wanted to be friends with him… it was just something Gokudera couldn't understand.

As Gokudera laid on the bed thinking, staring up at the ceiling as he did so, Yamamoto walked out of the bathroom, holding a large bucket of water and a small towel in his hands. Gokudera turned towards the baseball player, those emerald eyes observing him.

"Ah, you're awake again," Yamamoto commented, a smile bright on his face - a smile that Gokudera was slowly becoming accustomed to. The baseball player then saw Gokudera looking at the bucket curiously, so he explained, "You still have a fever. My dad says your body needs to cool down a bit, and you can't take a bath…"

Gokudera nodded, though he didn't really understand what Yamamoto was implying. _So what is going to do with that bucket of water again?_

…!

Yamamoto's hands pulling up his shirt immediately shock him out of his thoughts.

"Wait," Gokudera meant for the word to be louder, but his weakness allowed only a small croak to escape his lips, "What… are you doing?"

Yamamoto looked at Gokudera's alarmed eyes and posture before he laughed slightly, "Ahaha, don't worry, Gokudera. I'm just going to wipe you with some water to cool off your fever."

Gokudera blinked at him, taking in the information, before he slowly understood what Yamamoto was trying to do as he looked at the bucket of water once again.

_Oh. I see. _

"Fine," Gokudera mumbled weakly before he allowed Yamamoto to pull the shirt off from his body. But as Yamamoto started tugging on the loose trousers around his waist, Gokudera stiffened.

Yamamoto noticed the tensing body. Smiling, he comforted him, "It's okay, Gokudera. I changed your clothes once already when you got here."

_Oh. Right. That was how I ended up wearing these clothes in the first place. _Gokudera realized, but he found that the fact wasn't as reassuring as he thought it would be.

Yamamoto, silently enjoying the look on Gokudera's face, continued to take off those trousers before finally, Gokudera was left almost stark naked on the bed, the only exception being the short boxers he was wearing.

Yamamoto looked at Gokudera and once again took in just how pale and smooth his skin was – it was a pity to see all the scars, bruises and bandages taint the complexion. Yamamoto also noticed how slim that body actually was – that small waist and thin limbs. It was hard to believe how such a petite body could be so fiercely strong in fights.

Gokudera could feel Yamamoto's eyes on his body, and he felt slightly self-conscious. It had been a long time ever since he was consciously so physically exposed to someone – and the fact that he didn't know that 'someone' for long didn't help. Not to mention, that 'someone' being Yamamoto Takeshi who had called him 'pretty'…

Gokudera was appalled to find his face flushing – heating up for a reason other than the fever. He didn't need a mirror to figure how red his cheeks were blushing.

_Shit… why am I even getting embarrassed by this?_

_ I'm a guy. This idiot's a guy. Hell, we're both guys. It's not like I've never changed in front of other people before. I've changed in front of Spanner and Skull and even M.M. at Lancia's._

_ Right. There's no fucking reason why I should be-_

"Nnh-" Gokudera shook slightly when the damp towel contacted with his skin – the temperature and the sudden touch of the water shocking him.

"Ah, sorry, did I surprise you?" Yamamoto murmured a soft apology.

"…whatever. Just do it quickly," Gokudera muttered, his face blushing even more.

"Hai, hai," Yamamoto smiled, fully aware of the blush on Gokudera's cheeks.

On the other hand, Gokudera felt like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him up right then and there. The embarrassment was just eating him up.

_Fuck… there's a difference between just changing clothes in front of other people and lying here almost butt naked on his bed and letting him wipe my entire body._

_ Shit…_

Gokudera bit his lips and closed his eyes as Yamamoto continued to wipe his body, from his shoulders to his arms to his chest then his stomach and down his legs, up his thighs and-

"Don't," Gokudera breathed faintly, weakly grabbing Yamamoto's hand which was about to move down to the insides of his thighs. That area was too… sensitive, too personal for Gokudera.

Yamamoto just smiled, easily lifting his hands from Gokudera's flesh, fully entertained by how much Gokudera was blushing and how that body reacted. "Okay, turn over then."

Gokudera did as he was told and rolled over onto his front, glad that he could finally hide his face from the baseball player. The process of wiping the back wasn't as embarrassing, and Gokudera eventually relaxed, allowing Yamamoto to gently wipe his skin.

During the session, Gokudera spoke up, "…a girl would be fucking lucky to date you, you know."

Yamamoto raised his eyebrows, "Eh? Why?"

"Tch. Come on," Gokudera mumbled, "You're too fucking _nice_. You hardly know me and you treat me this well. I can't even imagine how well you'll treat your girlfriend."

"Ahaha, I never thought about that," Yamamoto smiled.

"Shit. Seriously?" Gokudera asked in disbelief, lifting his head so that his chin is resting on the pillow, "You _never_ thought about dating? What do you think about then? _B__aseball_?"

Yamamoto laughed, "Hahaha… yeah, pretty much."

"Huh. You're a baseball idiot, alright," Gokudera mumbled, before he continued, "But really. You never liked anyone at all?"

Yamamoto fell silent with that, an image of a certain someone immediately surfacing in his mind. The towel on Gokudera's body stopped moving for a second.

Gokudera noticed the change right away, and he turned his head to look at Yamamoto's face before he smirked, "Hm? So you do like someone, eh?"

A slight blush formed on Yamamoto's face and he scratched his head shyly, and Gokudera was surprised to find that the baseball idiot looked rather _cute_ like that. He kept pressing on, the smirk widening, "Come on, tell me. Is she cute?"

"…very," Yamamoto smiled at him, his dark brown eyes sparkling, and Gokudera felt something twinge deep inside.

"…huh, is that so," Gokudera mumbled, turning around to face the wall once again, unable to look at Yamamoto in the eyes any longer.

_He looked so fucking happy just now. Even happier than normal, and that's ridiculous._

…_damn, that girl really is lucky, huh._

* * *

"Ah-choo!" Hibari Kyouya sneezed sharply, causing Hibird, who had been resting on his head, to jump slightly.

Kusakabe, who had just entered the room, raised his eyebrows, "Kyou-san, are you catching a cold?"

Hibari shook his head silently before he went back to resting on the leather sofa, calmly crossing his arms and legs. "Why are you here?"

"A lot of students are absent without leave today. I brought you the list of names," Kusakabe replied, politely handing the piece of paper to Hibari.

"Hn," Hibari received the paper before he scanned the names.

_De Tempesta Belphegor_

_Gokudera Hayato_

_Joshima Ken_

_Kakimoto Chikusa_

_Rokudo Mukuro_

_Yamamoto Takeshi_

"They're all in the same year group," Hibari observed, "All three ex-Kokuyo students are missing – it is most likely Rokudo Mukuro led the other two. This is not the first time. I will report him to the headmaster. Belphegor and Gokudera are both involved in color gang warfare – their absences are to be expected. Send both of them warnings – though I doubt they would learn."

Hibari handed back the list, and Kusakabe bowed to him before he looked up and asked, "Kyou-san, what about Yamamoto Takeshi?"

_Yamamoto Takeshi._

He was well known as the ace of the school's baseball team – but what caught Hibari's interest was his sense of speed, strength and accuracy. Hibari witnessed it during times when Yamamoto played baseball – how sharp each throw, catch and swing of the bat was. Hibari could see that Yamamoto, unlike most people, wasn't weak. He may be clueless on most occasions, but Hibari was certain the guy had a naturally good sense for fighting – he just didn't realize it. Yamamoto's good nature and carefree, optimistic lifestyle had clouded his potential from himself.

Then, Hibari thought about the dark chocolate brown eyes that looked at him in such a way that was beyond a senpai-kouhai relationship, and that proximity… those lips almost, _almost_ stealing in on his own. The prefect felt a waver in his chest as his cheeks glowered with the slightest shade of pink.

_No. Stop it. I can't allow myself to weaken in that way again._

But the more he tried, the more Hibari can't seem to erase that warm smile from his memory.

"…I will warn him personally."

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay? Your fever's gone, but I'm not sure -"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Gokudera-"

"Idiot. Stop worrying so much already," Gokudera sighed, rolling his eyes at Yamamoto who was still being overly concerned about his state.

After having lunch and sleeping some more, Gokudera's fever finally disappeared, and Gokudera felt as if he had never been sick – the headache and muscle strains completely gone. The only annoying pains left in his body were the bruises and cuts he received for his father and Bel – who he assumed must have cut him with wires.

Thus, Gokudera borrowed Yamamoto's phone and called Skull – another member of Dynamite – and told him to pick him up from Yamamoto's sushi restaurant. Yamamoto was not too certain about letting Gokudera leave after going through such a high fever, but Gokudera wouldn't hear it. The silvernette didn't want to be treated like a weak, sick, helpless person anymore – he hated feeling powerless and vulnerable, and he didn't like being dependant on others. So as soon as he felt well enough, Gokudera got up and changed into his own clothes he had brought in his bag, feeling more comfortable in his usual attire, prepared to leave.

Waiting in front of Yamamoto's house, the two of them stood there leaning against the wall, a good distance between them. This was the second time Yamamoto had seen Gokudera in private clothing, and similar to the first occasion, everything about the outfit screamed 'color gang member' - whether it was the numerous metal rings, the metal studded belt that hung around his waist, the screened pattern of skulls and guns on his black t-shirt, or the vivid red scarf he tied around his slim forearm. It rather worried Yamamoto to see Gokudera wear something that seemed to be asking for trouble. If Gokudera was in his usual, healthy state, Yamamoto would be confident that he can deal with little fights – but having seen the injuries on that thin body and how sick he was just a few hours before, Yamamoto couldn't help but be overly concerned. After all, Yamamoto already considered Gokudera as his friend.

Staring into the darkening afternoon streets of Namimori, Yamamoto could imagine a hundred ways Gokudera could be attacked, before he mentally beat himself up for thinking negatively.

A strong scent interrupted Yamamoto's paranoia, and as he turned towards the source of the smell, Yamamoto found that Gokudera was smoking, a cigarette caught between his thin lips, held easily with two fingers. Yamamoto stared.

Gokudera, feeling the stare, calmly blew the smoke out from his lips before he turned towards Yamamoto. "Stop staring like I'm committing fucking suicide, baseball idiot."

Yamamoto blinked, before he smiled sheepishly, "Haha, sorry. But in a way, you are sorta killing yourself."

"Huh," Gokudera took in another doze of smoke before he blew it out through his lips once again.

Yamamoto looked at the action, not knowing how he felt about it. He didn't like the idea of Gokudera damaging his lungs, but at the same time, smoking seemed to fit Gokudera almost flawlessly. The cigarette, once held in his hands, completed his rebellious style – and furthermore, Gokudera looked _good_ when he smoked. That posture as he held the tobacco stick in his thin fingers, that calmed and relaxed expression, and those lips which seemed to hold the cigarette perfectly in between.

"I didn't know you smoked," Yamamoto said.

"Tch, no shit," Gokudera eyed him with those green eyes of his, "Considering we've only met for like, what, three fucking days? That's kinda normal."

"You do it often?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

"Yeah, every day," Gokudera replied easily, before he noticed the look on Yamamoto's face. "What? Don't look at me like that. Most of the people I know smoke a lot more than I do."

"It's still unhealthy," Yamamoto said, his face, for once, without a smile present.

"Are we really gonna discuss this?" Gokudera looked up at Yamamoto with a bored expression.

Yamamoto frowned – a new emotion being presented to Gokudera, "At least you shouldn't smoke when your body's still trying to recover."

"If you've forgotten, I'm in a bloody color gang. I fight almost daily, my body's recovering all the time. It's the same thing," Gokudera mumbled.

"No it's not," Yamamoto argued, "You just got really sick. You still look pale."

"I'm fine, alright? I'm not gonna collapse to the floor if I keep on smoking," Gokudera rolled his eyes.

Yamamoto wasn't going to give up, "But you shouldn't-"

"Tch. Look," Gokudera took the cigarette out from his lips, "It's my body, okay? I can fuck it up however I want. It's not like I'm gonna _die_ right here and now."

Yamamoto frowned deeper, "But you're damaging your lungs and-"

"Ugh. Okay. Stop." Gokudera said, before he sighed, annoyed. "If I throw this away, will you shut up about it?"

Yamamoto didn't get the chance to reply to that when Gokudera dropped the cigarette to the floor before he squashed the flame out with his foot. Those emerald eyes looked back up at him, "There. Happy now? Fucking baseball idiot."

Yamamoto paused, before a smile re-emerged on his face and he leaned back against the wall once again, "Heh, for now I am."

_Is this idiot planning on trying to make me quit smoking altogether? _ Gokudera thought incredulously. _Why does it even matter to him anyways? What's it to him? I smoke, I die. I'm not poisoning his lungs as well._

…_well, maybe a little if I smoke near him. But really, it's not his fucking problem._

At that point, a black motorbike sped into the street before it screeched to halt as it braked abruptly in front of Yamamoto's house, skidding slightly to the side. The owner was wearing a black leather rider outfit with dark purple lines, complete with matching gloves and a white and purple helmet. His body was entirely covered so it was hard to figure out what his skin color was. But even before seeing his face, Yamamoto knew the guy was here to pick up Gokudera – that red scarf tied loosely around his wrists identifying him as a member of Dynamite.

Then, the guy took off his helmet, shaking his head slightly once the helmet was off.

_Whoa. And here I thought Gokudera looked like a gang member_ _._Yamamoto thought, staring at him.

The rider, whose name Yamamoto assumed was 'Skull', had spiky, messy dark purple hair that stuck all over the place, framing his rather pale face. His eyes were heavily lined with black eyeliner, and right beneath his left eye was a small tattoo in the shape of a teardrop. His lips were also covered in dark lipstick, and his bottom lip was pierced with a lip ring that was connected to his earring by a thin metal chain. Apart from that, his face had white bandages stuck on different places, here and there.

"Heh, you look even worse than I expected, senpai" Skull commented as soon as he saw Gokudera.

_Wha- _Yamamoto was shocked. _Senpai? He's younger than Gokudera? So he's younger than me?_

"Tch. Shut up," Gokudera mumbled, knocking Skull's head lightly with his fist before he mounted the bike.

"Fine, fine," Skull muttered, rolling his eyes, before he turned to look at Yamamoto, "I've never seen you before. Are you a new member?"

"Eh...?" Yamamoto was confused.

"He's not in Dynamite," Gokudera said quickly.

"Oh," Skull leaned his head to one side, "So what gang is he in then? An ally of Dynamite?"

"He's not in any fucking gang, you moron," Gokudera pushed Skull's head – so hard that it almost hit the bike's handle – before he continued, "Can't you tell?"

"Meh. And I really thought my instinct was right this time," Skull said, still eyeing Yamamoto, before he shrugged. "Oh well. Fuck it."

"Fucking dumbass. Let's go already," Gokudera ordered, harshly jabbing Skull's leg with his foot.

"Okay, okay, I get it senpai, there's no need to kick me," Skull muttered, pulling his helmet back on. Yamamoto noticed then that the dark purple pattern was actually a picture of an octopus.

As Skull restarted the engine, Gokudera head snapped towards Yamamoto as if he had forgotten something, those emerald eyes hesitating.

Yamamoto smiled, "I'll see you at school, ne?"

"Yeah…" Gokudera mumbled, looking down, his face still troubled over a subject unknown to Yamamoto.

Then, just as the motorbike was about to start moving, Gokudera looked up at the last moment before he quietly said, "…thanks."

"Hm?" Yamamoto looked at him.

Gokudera couldn't stand holding eye contact with him, so staring at the ground, he mumbled awkwardly, "For… taking care of me. And stuff."

Yamamoto, hearing that and seeing how hard it was for Gokudera to say it, smiled brightly. "Ahaha, you're welcome, Gokudera."

The motorbike sped off then, faster than any transport Yamamoto had seen in a long time, but not fast enough for him not to notice Gokudera's blushing cheeks as he hid his face on Skull's back – and Yamamoto chuckled lightly, finding Gokudera's embarrassment in such normal matters absolutely adorable.

_I really want to get to know him better from now on…_

Yamamoto thought with a smile.

* * *

**A/N:** Hehe, hope you enjoyed that! And reviews are absolute love! :D …some Varia coming up next chapter~ ;)

*A cool pack is a variation of an ice pack.


	4. Falling

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **a lot of swearing in this chapter, heh ;P

**A/N: **Thank you for all the reviews and support! As promised… some Varia! And of course, there is the undying XS pairing ;) The rest is all Hiba-chan in this chap~ Gomen ne, Goku-chan fans!

Again, lots of thank yous and LUUUURVE to my beta-reader, '**The Shifter Simply Weird**'! ;D

* * *

**At Varia's Base – AKA Xanxus's House**

"Five thousand and five hundred… six thousand… six thousand and two hundred…"

"Mou~. Bel-chan~ don't just throw your knives at random things, Boss wouldn't be happy about his furniture being ruined."

"Ushishishi~ the prince needs his target practice~"

"Eight thousand and two hundred… eight thousand and seven hundred…"

"Look at that! The prince is a genius, ne?"

"Nine thousand and nine hundred… ten thousand. Ten thousand yen? Really, now…"

"Bel-chan, please, just-"

"Ushishishi… ah!"

"Stop it, Bel. You're distracting me."

"Mammon~."

Bel whined in protest when Mammon reached up from the sofa and locked the prince's neck with her arm, holding him in place.

"Finally~. Thanks, Mammon-chan," Lussuria exhaled in relief when Bel's mad knife rampage was finally put to stop. He wouldn't have minded if Bel wanted to throw knives anywhere else, but they were in Xanxus's house – and that made a huge difference to everything.

Chaos always seemed to occur whenever the leading members of Varia gathered – their personalities just too much of a clash for even the slightest chance of a peaceful meeting, even when two of their strongest and most volatile members were not present. Belphegor with his freaky, immature obsession with blood was already enough trouble to deal with before he had found his new weapon of expertise, but now that he had gotten his hands on some knives, the self renowned 'prince' seemed to be extremely unwilling to let go. Fortunately, there was Mammon; calm, solitary and smart… the only female member in the entire Varia, and the only one who could – to a certain extent – 'contain' the maniac prince. Though, Mammon herself wasn't very feminine in the very least – most of the time she was mistaken for a male with her short dark blue hair, her tomboyish attitude and her black leather cloak which covered up almost her entire body. But that wasn't the problem – the main issue with Mammon was that she had an unexplainable greed, money always coming first on her priority list – which wasn't very beneficial to a color gang, because they never knew when she would turn against them for money.

And, of course, who could forget Lussuria? With his extreme hairstyle and extravagantly gay character, Lussuria saw himself as more or less the 'mother' of the Varia group, taking the role of looking after everyone's wellbeing along with taking care of any inflicted injuries. Although, most of the time, the excess flamboyancy of him was both unnecessary and unwelcomed by the other Varia members – his personality only causing more noise and chaos.

It seemed as though the only person who was truly mature and non-chaotic in the group was Leviathan, or Levi – a man who stood in the shadows and performed his tasks correctly and precisely in order to impress the boss. The guy did everything for Xanxus, from fighting to the best of his abilities to cleaning up Varia's mess and looking after furniture – the true caretaker of Varia. The only thing was that his infatuation with the Varia boss was more like a creepy stalker than an admirer – the obsession leading to, though Levi would never admit it, jealousy and envy for anyone who stole Xanxus's attention.

"You're counting our income again, ne?" Bel asked Mammon, turning around to loop his arms around her shoulders and pressing his cheek next to hers. The two Varia members had always been close – being the same age and joining Varia around the same time allowed them to develop an understanding for each other.

"Hm," Mammon murmured her reply, putting the money back into the box, "We spent a lot in buying new weapons this month, so we cannot afford to buy anymore _unnecessary_ objects." At the word 'unnecessary', Mammon intentionally glanced up at Bel and Lussuria from beneath her hood-like hat.

"Mou~. Makeup and sunglasses aren't unnecessary~." Lussuria pouted in a way that he, _alone_, believed looked _cute_.

Bel's face stretched in a wide smile, "And the prince needs his sweets~."

"Of course," Mammon muttered, not bothered to argue with the two of them, knowing that it would only be a waste of breath. Rolling her eyes, she noticed some dark red streaks on Bel's palm, and she pulled his hand closer to her face to get a better look.

They were cuts. Wire cuts.

Murmuring quietly so that neither Lussuria nor Levi could hear, Mammon asked Bel, "What happened to your hand?"

"Hm?" Bel saw what Mammon was looking at before his smile grew wider, "Ah~, that. The prince used wires to cut someone today because his knives are being sharpened. Pulling it so tightly cut the prince as well. Ushishi… it didn't hurt, though."

"Who? A Dynamite?" Mammon wanted to know.

"Smoking Bomb~," Bel replied in a sing-song voice.

Mammon nodded. 'Smoking Bomb' or Gokudera Hayato had been Bel's rival ever since the first time they met on the 'battlefield' of color gang warfare. "So you managed to get him again?"

"Of course~. He already looked fucked up, so the prince decided to toy with him a bit more," Bel replied cheerfully.

"Hm, I see," Mammon mumbled. She looked at the cuts on Bel's hands again before she muttered, "Don't use wires like that again. I hate paying for stupid medical shit."

"Ushishi~. Is Mammon worried about the prince, perhaps?" Bel smiled and poked Mammon's cheek teasingly.

Mammon pushed Bel off her, "As if, you crazy bastard."

Bel snickered, "Ushishishi~, there's no need to be shy~."

Before Mammon could throw Bel over the sofa, a noise from upstairs caught everyone's attention.

CRASH.

"VOIII! Fucking hell, Xanxus!" Squalo yelled, half of his body appearing from Xanxus's room, his short, spiky silver hair soaked with some sort of fizzy drink. The other half of him, which was still inside the room, seemed to be held back by something – or someone, to be exact.

"Ushishi… Squalo's as loud as always," Bel commented.

"As if he's ever been quiet," Mammon mumbled, fingers toying with the buttons on her leather cloak.

"Damn it! Let go!" Squalo continued to shout, "Voi, stop it already! Nnh-… fuck!"

Squalo's body had disappeared back into the room once again, the door slamming behind him as the other Varia members stared up at the scene, blinking, waiting for something else to happen. Moments later, Squalo reappeared, this time, walking out of the door and dragging the boss of Varia, who looked like he had just gotten out of bed, with him.

As Squalo and Xanxus walked down the stairs and got closer, it was clear to the other Varia members what had passed between the two. Squalo had red marks peppered all over his pale neck and collar bone, whilst his lips were kiss-swollen and his cheeks were flushed. As for Xanxus, though he looked very sleepy and moody, there was a very satisfied gleam in his amber red eyes.

"Voi, stop staring, trashes," Squalo muttered, his cheeks blushing a deeper shade of red.

Bel and Lussuria both giggled knowingly, the complicated relationship between the two founders of Varia nothing but obvious to them; Mammon took one glance at her leaders before she sighed, going back to her notebook of income and outcome, uninterested in their personal affair; and Levi looked torn between suicide and murder, his eyebrows twitching as he glared at Squalo furiously.

The Varia members then eventually sat down around a table, Xanxus sitting at the centre, yawning, with Squalo right beside him. The 'shark' of Varia then started speaking, "Right. Listen up shitheads. After their loss last time, I found out that Dynamite's been getting new weapons as well. So don't get too fucking cocky just yet, because-"

"Ushishi~." Bel interrupted with a snicker, "Well, the prince still thinks that they are weak. Just today, Smoking Bomb lost to the prince, and the prince wasn't even using knives~."

Squalo frowned, "Just because that brat's lost to you once-"

"_Twice_," Bel corrected with a wide smile, "This month at least."

"Tch. Whatever, trash. Twice," Squalo continued, "Doesn't mean you can get fucking lazy."

"But the prince is so tired~," Bel complained, "Why do we even have to try? Dynamite's losing all the time nowadays. No fun~."

"Mm~ I agree with Bel-chan," Lussuria nodded, "I think it's about time that we knock them down once and for all, ne?"

Mammon was pressing something on her calculator, mumbling, "Hm… yes. If we get rid of them while they're still weak, we would save more money… then after the group collapses, we could focus on increasing our income…"

Levi sat silently, nodding in agreement.

"Seeeeee~?" Bel smiled, leaning himself against Squalo.

"Voi, okay, okay, I get it," Squalo spat, "I was about to get to that, but you fucktards already have it all figured out." Squalo then pushed Bel's head off him, turning to Xanxus, "What do you say, boss?"

Xanxus glanced across the table, his red eyes piercing, before he mumbled, "You assholes prepare for breaking those fucking shitheads down in a month. During this time, we weaken them to their most vulnerable point, and we make sure the rest of us are stronger… Levi, inform the weaker trashes." Then, the boss of Varia was off, back to his bedroom, one hand grabbing Squalo's collar and dragging the yelling silvernette with him.

The meeting was over, and the rest of the Varia members separated to do different things: Bel jumped on Mammon, snickering happily; Lussuria left to go shopping – earning a glare from Mammon; and Levi went off to inform the rest of the Varia members. But one distinct thought was now common in all of their minds.

_We are finally going to take down Dynamite._

* * *

**Namimori High School, 7.37am**

"Eh…? Mukuro… is something wrong?" Tsuna asked the moment he saw the dark haired ex-Kokuyo walk into the classroom – and indeed, something did look very wrong with Rokudo Mukuro.

Usually, Mukuro would stride in with a striking presence, dark and alluring, putting a pause to most conversations going on in the room, an amused smirk playing on his lips. But today, Mukuro weakly walked – _slouched_ – in, before he silently flopped himself down in his seat. There was no smile present on that face or in those mismatched orbs, no deep chuckles to be heard, and no dramatic gestures or striking body language. Moreover, Mukuro's eyes were puffy and maybe even slightly watery, the sclera tinged red, and his lips were dry, his cheeks pale and unhealthy. It looked like the guy was exhausted by insomnia – and it was a look that was very strange on Mukuro.

Mukuro shook his head slowly, not making eye contact with anyone, mumbling, "No. I'm fine."

Tsuna frowned, giving Yamamoto a questioning look. Yamamoto took another glance at Mukuro before he helplessly shrugged, not understanding what was going on either. Mukuro had always been weird – but now that he was acting all down and depressed it was even _weirder_.

"Ah, where did the other two go?" Yamamoto asked him, wanting to start some conversation. That was another thing. Ken and Chikusa almost never left Mukuro's side.

"Somewhere," Mukuro muttered, still looking down at his desk, before he continued, "Chrome's in school today. I don't want her walking alone."

"Ah, she's better now? Kyoko and Haru said they missed her." Tsuna smiled. Chrome Dokuro was Mukuro's twin, but after their parents divorced, they used different surnames. However, the two of them were very close, Mukuro very protective of his sister, especially since Chrome had always been weak since birth, the hospital being a second home to her. The girl was hardly ever well enough to attend a full month of school.

Mukuro nodded slowly in response, though he seemed to not be registering anything that was said at all – those eyes of his still not looking up at anyone.

Yamamoto reached out and squeezed Mukuro's shoulders comfortingly, "Hey, don't look so down, Mukuro. Is it something about Chrome?"

Mukuro shook his head before he sighed deeply, looking even more depressed than before. Yamamoto and Tsuna glanced at each other desperately, not knowing how to approach the situation. A weak Mukuro was as strange and unreadable to them as an alien from a different planet – as if his usual self wasn't already hard enough to understand.

But no matter how much they wanted to help Mukuro, Yamamoto and Tsuna was forced to go back to their seat when their tutor, Reborn, stepped into the room in his usual black outfit and sleek orange tie. Their sensei calmly called the register before he stopped on a name.

"Joshima Ken… Joshima Ken?"

His dark eyes looked glanced up from the register. "Absent…and so is Kakimoto Chikusa. Again." The sensei lightly tapped the register with his pen, scanning the classroom with his eyes, "Ah, Rokudo Mukuro is here. Now that's surprising. Would you, by any chance, know where they are?"

"No," Mukuro mumbled, looking away.

Reborn raised an eyebrow, "Really? It seems like their absences are usually directly connected to you."

"Obviously not this time, since I'm fucking sitting here," Mukuro muttered.

A metal pin immediately flew towards Mukuro before it landed sharply on his wooden desk, sticking up at Mukuro like a javelin on a field. The entire class stilled in silence.

"Mind the language," Reborn spoke coolly, resting the pin box back down on his table, before he continued to speak. "Speaking of absences… all of you should not be skipping school for unnecessary reasons. You are in your second year of high school, and classes are too important to be missed. All students who are absent without leave will be punished accordingly."

_Ah… haha, not good. _Yamamoto smiled dryly – he knew one of those people would be him. But his absence wasn't unreasonable… wasn't it? He only missed school yesterday because he had to take care of Gokudera.

Well, maybe he could've asked Gokudera for Skull's number in the morning and let him take care of the silvernette whilst he was at school. But Yamamoto didn't want that. He wanted to be the one to take care of Gokudera – because after all, it was another way of building a friendship between them, even though Yamamoto knew he was kind of taking advantage of the situation. But hey, it worked.

_Gokudera won't be here today I guess. _Yamamoto thought, remembering how Gokudera sped off with another Dynamite member last night. Then, Gokudera's blush came to his mind, and Yamamoto couldn't help the smile that subconsciously appeared on his face.

_Haha, oh well… I don't think Gokudera would care about petty school detentions anyways. _

_And I don't mind detentions. If it means I could spend more time in the prefect's council. _Yamamoto's smile widened happily with that thought.

"Yesterday we had four absences from this class," Reborn continued to speak, "Rokudo Mukuro, you have already been absent on too many occasions, and the prefects suspect that you are also bringing down Joshima and Kakimoto with you. The Headmaster will speak to you in his office at lunchtime."

Mukuro's head perked up at the word 'Headmaster', a bitter smile on his face, "Oh, so _now_ he wants to talk?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" Reborn eyed Mukuro, fingers toying with his box of metal pins.

"Huh…" Mukuro laughed humorlessly, "Of course. No problem. No fucking problem at all."

Reborn decided to look over the fact that Mukuro just swore, and nodded stoically, "Make sure you'll be there at lunchtime then. If not, you'll spend a whole day in isolation with him."

"Great," Mukuro muttered, "Just great. Fucking brilliant."

The entire class was pretty much confused, not understanding why Mukuro seemed so upset about the subject – usually he would just brush it off like no punishment could bother him. Apart from that, they were also amazed once again by how fearlessly Mukuro spoke to Reborn – one of the strictest teachers in Nami High to date. To swear in front of Reborn was like asking for a hard smack in the face. But once again, Reborn just ignored Mukuro's comment, not bothered enough to throw another pin, and looked back down at his sheet of paper before he looked up at Yamamoto and raised an eyebrow.

_Ah, here it comes. _Yamamoto smiled dryly, waiting for his sentence of punishment.

"Yamamoto Takeshi. Third time absent this term," Reborn nodded to himself, "The Head Prefect requests to speak to you personally about this. I'm assuming he would arrange the time and place with you himself."

_Eh…?_

_ …Head Prefect?_

_ So that means… Hibari? _

_Hibari requested to speak to me…_

Yamamoto's heart lurched with joy at the thought.

"Ehhhh, good luck, Yamamoto," Tsuna squeaked from his desk which was right behind Yamamoto's, "Hope Hibari-san doesn't bite you to death."

"Ahahaha…" Yamamoto laughed lightly, a warm smile on his face, "…hope so."

* * *

**Namimori High School, 1.28pm, Physical Education**

"Okay! Start stretching, kora!" The PE teacher, Colonello, shouted energetically with a smile from beside the field, his blonde hair shining in bright sunlight.

The entire year group of sophomores, after jogging a full lap around the field for warm up, slowly jogged to a stop before starting to stretch in different groups – the fitter students, like Yamamoto, was just breathing slightly harder whilst the less athletic ones, like Tsuna, were panting as if they had just sprinted through a marathon.

"Ahaha, you okay there, Tsuna?" Yamamoto chuckled, patting Tsuna on the back. Tsunayoshi looked like he was about to cry with all the scrapes he received from falling over during the jog – the boy would rather die than spend another minute in PE class.

"HAHA! You're panting like you're getting an asthma attack! That's so lame!" Ken laughed loudly, immaturely pointing at the brown haired boy. Unsurprisingly, Ken was one of the fitter students. The animalistic blonde then turned towards his best friend, "Look, even Kakipii isn't panting as much!"

Chikusa was only panting slightly, his usually colourless face flushing slightly. The megane elbowed Ken in the stomach, "You're being mean, Ken."

"Ow~. You're the one being mean, Kakipii! No-good Tsuna is no-good Tsuna! He knows it too!" Ken complained.

Chikusa sighed, "…if you don't stop I'll tell Mukuro-sama."

"Tch," Ken bit his lips, not wanting to give in, "Fine, go tell him then! He's not gonna be that mad at me anyways, he teases Tsuna too! Blehhh~," Ken stuck his tongue out.

Chikusa gave Ken a stern look, "…then I'll tell him how you left Chrome alone in the hallway this morning."

"Wha-" Ken glared at him, "That… that's cheating! You said you wouldn't tell! You promised, Kakipii!"

"I will if you don't shut up," Chikusa mumbled in monotone.

Ken growled, "Tch. Fine! Stupid kappa head!"

Yamamoto laughed at the two ex-Kokuyo students whilst Tsuna silently sweat-dropped at them, wishing that they could have been absent for the entire day.

_They really aren't in control when Mukuro's not around, ne?_

At that point, Colonello's voice could be heard across the field, "Bel! Rokudo! You're late, kora!"

"Ushishishi~, the prince can do whatever he wants~." Bel snickered, hands intertwined behind his blonde head, his bright freakish smile visible even hundreds of meters away.

Mukuro just remained silent, still unrecovered from his foul morning mood. In fact, he looked even worse now after his meeting with the Headmaster at lunch, the dark aura emanated from him more depressed and angry rather than his usual mysterious and almost evil vibe.

Colonello sighed, "Look, I don't want to waste time so I'll just have a talk with your tutors. For now, you two go join Yamamoto's group over there, kora!"

Bel skipped towards the group, snickering and smiling like a maniac as he did so, whilst Mukuro just walked silently towards them, slow and depressed, his presence almost resembling the ghost from 'The Ring'.

"Ushishi~. Ah, aren't you all proud of being in the prince's presence?" Bel's face was stretched in an unnaturally wide smile.

Ken was about to say something insulting back but Chikusa quickly clasped the blonde's mouth with his hand, the megane's face emotionless as he nodded in acknowledgement at Bel, his arms trying to lock the crazy animal, AKA his best friend, down.

Yamamoto laughed lightly, "Ahaha, of course we are, ne, Tsuna?"

The baseball player nudged Tsuna, and the brown haired boy just smiled uncertainly, sheepishly waving his hand at Bel. The prince snickered happily, satisfied with the response, before he started to stretch as well.

"Mukuro-sama, are you okay?" Chikusa asked, walking towards Mukuro as soon as he released Ken – who also immediately rushed to Mukuro's side.

Mukuro wasn't looking great. In fact, he looked rather bad. His PE kit was messy, his hair was messy, his eyes looked sore – definitely watery now, and all in all he just looked like he needed some rest really badly. Or maybe even a hug. Or something that would take away whatever he was going through.

Mukuro nodded silently in response, looking almost dead as he started on his stretching. Once again, Tsuna and Yamamoto shared a 'look'. It was overwhelmingly awkward to see Mukuro so out of character – and even more confusing when nobody really understood what was going on with him. Not even Ken or Chikusa.

Colonello approached them, "Okay, you guys go do the high jump first then the 100m sprint, kora."

"Hai, sensei," Yamamoto smiled brightly, heading over with everyone else to the high jump station.

After jumping for a while, most of the group had already found their best height. As expected, Tsuna never really made it over 110cm; Ken and Chikusa had the same best height of 145cm; and Mukuro didn't even attempt to jump, and instead just scribbled down 150cm on his sheet. The two left were Yamamoto and Bel, who were still jumping to find their best height. They started from opposite sides, and whilst Yamamoto did a proper jump, Bel settled with whatever jump he could come up with on the spot – and somehow it always worked for him.

The two were now preparing to jump the 155cm. Yamamoto started on the right as he always did, and started sprinting in a curved trail towards the bar – but just as he was about to reach the bar and jump, something unexpected happened.

"Ah! Yamamoto, look out!" Tsuna's voice called from somewhere along the side – Yamamoto didn't know.

From the left, Bel had randomly started sprinting along his own trail as well, half-screaming half-snickering as he ran, both of his arms flailing madly in the air. Yamamoto was so focused he hadn't seen the prince coming, and before he knew it, Bel was already jumping right in front of him, inevitably crashing into him, sending both of them falling onto the floor, Bel on top of Yamamoto.

"Aaaah~. Ushishishi~, that was awesome~." Bel spoke in a sing-song voice as he lifted himself up from the ground.

Yamamoto, who had been beneath Bel just a second ago, sat up as well, laughing lightly as he always did, "Ahahaha, ahh, okay, Bel. But we're not doing that again."

Ken was almost dying with laughter on the side bench, Chikusa expressionlessly trying to calm him down, though he seemed rather amused by the scene himself. Mukuro just looked up at what happened, muttered something unintelligible, before he went back to his own world of staring at grass. Tsuna, the only person who actually appeared to be concerned, quickly ran up to them.

"A-are you two okay?" Tsuna asked, observing them both.

"Ushishi~, the prince had fun~," Bel smiled freakishly.

"Ah…! Yamamoto you're bleeding!" Tsuna exclaimed, his caramel-colored eyes widening in alarm.

Yamamoto looked at where Tsuna was staring and saw that his right palm along with the front of his right arm was badly scraped by the rough surface of the jumping platform, his skin almost seemed to have been ripped altogether, the wound bleeding continuously. But still, Yamamoto's smile wasn't wiped off his face, "Oh. Haha, I was just wondering why my arm hurts."

"You should go to the nurse. I think Shamal's in today," Tsuna said, his face full of concern.

Yamamoto nodded, agreeing. Then, he saw something on Bel's palms. "Ah, Bel, you're scraped as well? Do you want to the nurse with me then?"

Bel, who had been staring intently at Yamamoto's dripping blood, snapped into reality, before he snickered, "Ushishi~. Ah, no worries, these are from yesterday, see?" Bel smiled, facing his palms up for Yamamoto to see.

Indeed, the cuts on Bel's hands had already dried, and they didn't look like scrape marks anyways. Instead, they look like…

_Wait. _Yamamoto thought. _I've seen those marks before… _

_Lines like that… _

_Like… wire cuts…_

Then, it hit him.

_Wire cuts._

Yamamoto looked back at Bel's hands and his eyes widened.

Because those cuts looked too much like the wire cuts on Gokudera's body.

* * *

It wasn't as if Yamamoto didn't know that Varia and Dynamite were rivals. He did, and he knew Bel was in Varia and Gokudera was in Dynamite, which technically made them rivals in color gang warfare as well. But it never really have occurred to Yamamoto that Bel and Gokudera could actually be hurting each other – as in really cutting and inflicting injuries on each other. There were a lot of members in one color gang… Yamamoto just didn't think that two people from the same school, same year and even in the same _class_ – for Gokudera and Bel's case – would be harming each other so violently once they were representing their gang. To think of Gokudera and Bel physically fighting… it was not an image that rested well in Yamamoto's mind.

_I guess I always should have known. _Yamamoto thought as he continued to walk towards the infirmary, holding his bleeding arm and hand, both wrapped in his school shirt. _They're the same age after all – and apparently they're both leading members…_

_But… those were wire cuts. If wrapped around the neck properly wires could… _Yamamoto rolled in his lips, not wanting to think about how violent color gang warfare actually was and how far it went. He sort of knew that Gokudera was injured by it, and didn't want to ask since Gokudera didn't seem like he wanted to share – but Yamamoto just couldn't imagine Bel doing something like that to Gokudera, and vice versus.

Sighing as he reached the infirmary, Yamamoto knocked politely on the door with his good hand. As usual, no reply came, so Yamamoto just decided to push in.

The infirmary was empty, just like he thought. Shamal, who was supposedly the 'nurse' of the school, was never really around for most of the time. But even if Shamal was in the room, it was unlikely that he would help anyone that was the same gender as him. Thus, male students here learned how to manage themselves with first aid in time.

Entering the infirmary immediately brought back memories of what had happened in here just one day ago – an image that Yamamoto thought of every night before he fell asleep. Hibari's face so close to his own, those dark eyes looking back at him, the soft touch of Hibari's cheeks and that blush that tinted them in that perfect way… Just thinking about it made Yamamoto want to kiss Hibari, capture those lips and steal in on that faintly sweet scent.

Part of him knew he could have – and God, he knew he wanted to. So badly. Yamamoto knew those eyes of Hibari weren't rejecting him – but that wasn't enough of a confirmation. He didn't want to take an early risk – he needed to be sure that everything he ever built up with the prefect didn't break down with just one stupid action. But then, Yamamoto wasn't sure whether he would be able to let a chance like that slip again. The temptation was beyond torturing.

_Which bed was it again…? _Yamamoto looked at the beds in the room, all blocked away and separated by opaque curtains. Forgetting his bleeding arm altogether, he walked towards the one he remembered Hibari and him sat on, before he slowly pulled the curtains open, wanting to relive the moment once again.

But as soon as the curtains were opened enough to look inside, blood rushed through Yamamoto's heart.

Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was just pure coincidence. But no matter what it was, the person lying on that bed was Hibari Kyouya.

_Hibari…_

For a moment, Yamamoto didn't know what to do, so he just stood there and looked at the petite form that was lying on the bed. Hibari didn't even bother to snuggle beneath the blanket. It was just him lying on top of the neatly made up mattress.

Hibari was lying on his side, his jacket used as a substitute for a blanket, and both his hands were tucked close to his head, his legs bent up close to his torso, making his body shape look like an 'O'. Yamamoto found it incredibly cute – especially because of how harmless and innocent Hibari looked whilst he slept in this position, those limbs seemingly fragile, that small body rising and falling according to his soft, steady breaths.

Yamamoto felt like hugging the prefect, but he knew better than that. Hibari had unnaturally good senses, especially his auditory sense. It was already surprising that Hibari hadn't woken up from the sound of knocking on the door or the click of the door as it opened.

But just as Yamamoto wondered whether he could try his luck by moving closer, those sharp eyes of Hibari's opened in one flutter, before he immediately sat up when he noticed Yamamoto's presence.

"Hey," Yamamoto smiled warmly at him. Hibari frowned and turned away, unwilling to meet those dark chocolate eyes, reminding himself not to get lost in them again.

"…shouldn't you be in class?" the prefect mumbled sleepily, one hand rubbing his eyes.

Yamamoto chuckled lightly, thinking of how the action reminded him of a little child. "Haha, I think I can ask you the same question, senpai."

"Hn," Hibari mumbled, before he continued, "You haven't answered my question."

"Ahaha, okay," Yamamoto held his hands up as a giving up sign, the blood dripping down his right arm finally reminding him of the true reason why he was here, "I fell over in PE, hehe."

Hibari frowned, "You fell?" Somehow, the image of Yamamoto tripping over something and falling over by himself did not seem fitting.

"Haha, well, to be exact, Bel kinda jumped on me," Yamamoto explained, "…so I fell over and scraped my arm."

Hibari was confused, though he tried not to show it, "So he just randomly jumped on you?"

"Pretty much," Yamamoto laughed.

"By Bel… you mean Belphegor de Tempesta?" Hibari asked.

"Yup. Him. With the tiara and this big smile." Yamamoto replied, creating a fake tiara on his head with his uninjured hand, whilst he tried to imitate Bel's freaky grin.

"Hn," Hibari nodded, rather amused by Yamamoto's impersonation of the prince, "I see. It does seem like something he would do."

Yamamoto smiled, noticing how much more talkative Hibari was today without the prefect even realizing it. Then, the blood from his arm started dripping onto the floor, and Yamamoto bent down to wipe it, chuckling, "Haha, I better sort this out first." The baseball player stepped backwards and started searching for first aid equipment from the cupboards.

During this time, Hibari watched him, noticing how tall his kouhai actually was. The guy could reach the top drawer without even needing to stretch… with a frown, Hibari realized that Yamamoto was actually quite taller than him. He always knew the baseball player was taller, but he never expected the height difference to be as big as he now realized it was.

Shuffling himself towards the end of the bed and pulling the curtains out of his way, Hibari decided to talk about what he had previously planned to, "You were absent yesterday."

Yamamoto, reaching for the final item, turned around and replied, "Ah, yeah. I needed to stay home."

"Why?" the question came out even before Hibari thought about it, and the prefect mentally hit himself. This was an interrogation for the prefect's council, not for his personal curiosity.

"My friend was really sick. He was staying over, so I took care of him," Yamamoto smiled.

Hibari's mind went through all the names of the absent sophomore students before he picked out one, "It's Gokudera Hayato isn't it?"

"Eh?" Yamamoto looked up at Hibari as he opened the salt solution bottle, "How did you know that?"

"He's the only sophomore absent yesterday and today," Hibari replied simply.

"Wow. Sugoi. You remember that?" Yamamoto looked impressed, those dark brown eyes sparkling.

Hibari found himself embarrassed, "…it's not that big of a deal."

"Haha, you're being modest, senpai," Yamamoto smiled – that warm smile once again, and this time, Hibari wasn't fast enough.

_I hate those damn smiles… _Hibari mentally muttered as he felt his cheeks heat up unwillingly.

"Ah-," Yamamoto frowned when he dropped the cotton wool he was using to clean his cuts.

Hibari watched Yamamoto struggle time after time due to how he was only able to use one hand to fix up his wound, especially since it was the hand he wasn't comfortable with – and after the seventh time Yamamoto dropped something, Hibari decided that it was becoming frustrating rather than amusing. Thus, the prefect stood up before he sat himself on a chair in front of Yamamoto.

"Give me your hand," he ordered.

"Eh?" Yamamoto looked at Hibari, confused.

"Hand," Hibari faced his palm up, waiting for the kouhai to give him his injured arm. Yamamoto rather felt like a dog of some sort as he obediently put his bleeding hand into Hibari's – he almost expected an encouraging pat. Almost.

As Hibari started to work on his arm and hand, Yamamoto murmured, "Ah, you don't really have to-"

Yamamoto's sentence was cut short when Hibari raised a finger and lightly tapped it on his lips without even looking up at him, as he murmured back, "It's annoying watching you."

The tiny action made Yamamoto's heart beat faster than Hibari would ever realize.

Hibari then continued to work on the scrapes on Yamamoto's arm and palm, cleaning the cuts and applying medicine before starting on bandaging. Throughout everything, Yamamoto observed Hibari, secretly making the most of the moment; taking in Hibari's scent, feeling the soft smooth skin of Hibari's hand, enjoying the proximity between them, and glowering beneath the surprisingly soft touch of those slim fingers.

Everything Hibari did was always so neat and precise, and he always seemed to know what to do and how to do it correctly. He was strict and fierce, with sharp lines defining who he was and what he wanted. Though at the same time, he had that extremely vulnerable and fragile side not many will ever get the chance to witness; the side of him that was like the fallen feather of a young bird… and those two combined made Hibari beautiful. So beautiful Yamamoto wanted to make him his own… and he didn't know how much longer he could hold back. Hibari was so close to him now. So close.

But what Yamamoto didn't know was that as Hibari was working on his injury, the prefect was also feeling different emotions throughout the moment, even though he concealed it well. He was nervous, like he had never been in a long time, not wanting to embarrass himself by doing something wrong. He also felt how warm Yamamoto was – the guy was warm all over, both physically and personality-wise, and Hibari was afraid of himself for enjoying that warmth.

But how could he not enjoy it? Someone like him, as cold and frozen as ice… warmth was something he lacked and deeply longed for. And Yamamoto was the perfect source of warmth, so comforting and calming as he slowly melted him, that frozen ice berg, into water.

Hibari didn't even know anymore whether it was complete futility to try and stop himself from falling for this guy. Yamamoto was one of those rare people who could get to him… and in the past, Hibari had only come across one person who had that ability. That person permanently broke a part of him – a part that could never be fixed. Was he willing to risk more of him being broken?

"…it's done," Hibari murmured, applying the final clip to hold the bandage together.

Only now that he spoke did the two of them realize how silent the room had fallen, the only sounds audible being their breathing and the air conditioning – the atmosphere in the room changing into something… different. More… intimate.

Hibari was about to remove his hand from Yamamoto's arm before he was stopped when Yamamoto gently held it with his own. Hibari froze, those dark eyes glancing up at the kouhai. His deep black orbs were met with dark chocolate eyes that looked back at him in a way that he now realized… _melted_ him.

Yamamoto carefully held Hibari's small hand with his injured one, tracing tiny, caressing circles on the back of it with his thumb, not once losing eye contact. Slowly, Yamamoto moved closer and even closer still, seeing the hesitation in Hibari's eyes, though the Skylark didn't move away.

Yamamoto's heart was beating fast and hard in his chest, and he knew that this time, he wouldn't – _couldn't_ – let Hibari escape.

They were close now. So close they could feel each other's breath. Silently, Yamamoto raised his other hand and ever so softly brushed Hibari's hair from his face, the thumb lingering to trace on his smooth cheek. It was a similar action to what he had done before, but this time, it was so much slower, more sensual, and so much more intimate.

"Hibari…" Yamamoto whispered faintly on the Skylark's lips, and Hibari felt goose bumps run all over his skin, his breathing slightly stuttered for a second.

Unable to stand looking in those dark chocolate orbs any longer, Hibari slowly turned his head sideways, closing his eyes. Yamamoto smiled lightly, finding the action as cute as ever, before he moved in and carefully pressed his lips to the cheek which was now fully exposed to him, and he lingered, wanting to smell that faintly sweet scent forever. Hibari tensed with the touch, his hand gently gripping Yamamoto's.

Yamamoto noticed, and he softly squeezed his hand back, before he moved back from Hibari's cheek and murmured into Hibari's ears, his lips close enough to softly graze that skin as he spoke, "Turn around…"

Hibari shivered, rolling in his lips and opening his eyes, unsure what to do. But Yamamoto didn't give him much time to decide when he gently turned Hibari's face around himself with the hand that still held on to his head. The thumb that was caressing Hibari's cheek now moved down to trace his lips, and Hibari knew he had already given in to what was coming.

Softly, slowly, and so impossibly gently, Yamamoto moved in. Closer, and closer still, and Hibari closed his eyes before finally…

They kissed.

Lips touching, meeting in the sweetest of ways.

Soft.

Slow.

Gentle.

Airy.

Affectionate.

Almost… heavenly.

…and Hibari realized then, that it had been useless from the beginning to try and hold back feelings for Yamamoto.

For it is impossible to prevent the inevitable.

* * *

**A/N: **Personally, I am a HUGE fan of the first kisses of each pairing. They mean a lot to me in every fic and pairing. So even if you're not a particular 8018 fan, I still do hope you enjoyed that moment! :) This is a double pairing fic after all…

And… "NO FRAN? NO BEL26?" I hear you scream. Hahaha, of _course_ there WILL be Fran… not yet. He's nearly here… ;) As for the XS relationship status… yes, they did already have sex here, but probably only just 2-3 times so far. And yesh, Squalo still has short hair (though I LOVE his long sexy hair ;P). And yes, I believe Mammon is physically a girl, but has the personality of a tomboy. Personally, I think Mammon in KHR goes with whatever gender he/she feels like, so she could be both, really.

And I'm sorry for the lack of Goku-chan... T^T 8059 fans please wait for their moments to come… I know there are more 8059 fans than 8018 fans out there, but just go along with the plot for now, ne? –twinkly eyes-

OH. OH. And you guys SHOULD probably know by now who the Headmaster of Nami High is. Do youuuu? It's preeeetty obvious ;)

…and if you want Fran and 8059 and more 8018 fast, then review~! :D


	5. Troubles

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **more swearing, and some guy on guy action ;)

**A/N: **Ahh, I'm glad you guys liked the first 8018 kiss! Thank you for all your awesome reviews! :D And dang, you guys are just too good at guessing! xD

Again, my beta-reader… '**The Shifter Simply Weird'** – thank you so much Shinko-chan!

* * *

**At Dynamite's Base – AKA Lancia's House**

"You look fucked up, alright," M.M. said as soon as she stepped into the room and saw Gokudera.

"Tch. Thanks for the reminder," Gokudera muttered back, still trying to re-bandage himself.

M.M. sighed, annoyed at how obviously Gokudera was struggling. "Let me do it," She sat down next to him before she grabbed the bandages and finished everything off in less than five minutes – whereas it would have taken Gokudera over half an hour.

"Bel really got you this time didn't he?" M.M. said as she watched Gokudera pull on his shirt.

Gokudera frowned, "I was unprepared. He knocked me out."

M.M. crossed her arms, "That's not an excuse."

"I really don't give a fuck," Gokudera replied.

M.M. rolled her eyes, knowing that Gokudera would not speak of the incident anymore. She knew that Gokudera wouldn't normally allow himself to be so careless to let Bel take advantage of him, and the only thing that distracted Gokudera from fights was his family issue. M.M. understood that Gokudera had a problem back home, so he always stayed over at Lancia's – but Gokudera would never go deeper into the subject. It was pretty much an unknown topic about the silvernette, and nobody really ever dared to approach it.

Lying down on the sofa, M.M. started a different conversation, "So where's Spanner?"

"Outside," Gokudera motioned over to the backyard, "On the phone."

"Ahhh, of course," M.M. nodded knowingly, smirking, "With that _friend_ from engineering course?"

Gokudera chuckled, "Yup. His _friend_ who he makes out with every time they're together."

M.M. giggled, "Heh, they're just too cute. Two mechanics, ne?"

At that point, Spanner walked back into the living room, before he flopped himself tiredly onto the futon on the floor. One hand lazily reached down his pocket and pulled out a lollipop before he popped it into his mouth and sighed.

Gokudera nudged the mechanic with his foot, "Oi, what's up?"

Spanner rolled onto his back, mumbling, "…fucking pissed."

"Eh? Why?" M.M. wanted to know, "Your 'friend' did something?"

Spanner sighed once again, before he spoke, "His family's gone on vacation, but he didn't wanna go. So they made him stay over with this neighbor while they're gone."

"Isn't that good? So you don't go around fucking complaining all day about how much you miss him," Gokudera said.

"Well, yeah, I guess that's a good thing. It's just his fucking neighbor…" Spanner cracked the lollipop in his mouth.

"What's wrong with the neighbor?" M.M. asked, inching closer, getting more interested in the conversation.

"He's a bloody pedophile," Spanner muttered, crunching the lollipop violently.

"…ha?" Gokudera raised an eyebrow.

Still crunching the lollipop, Spanner continued speaking, "Creepy, bloody pedo. Keeps on going 'Shou-chan, Shou-chan' and touches him all the time and he doesn't even say anything… pisses me off."

"Awww, Spanner's jealoussss," M.M. teased, ruffling Spanner's curly blonde hair.

"Shut up," Spanner mumbled, chewing on the now-empty lollipop stick.

Skull walked in from the kitchen before he sat down with the older Dynamite members, "Ah, are we talking about Spanner-senpai's boyfriend?"

"We're not dating," Spanner muttered almost instantly, though from experience he already knew what the response would be.

"Bullshit, dude. You almost fucked him and you're saying you're not dating?" Gokudera said.

"But we're not-" Spanner argued.

"Doesn't make a difference either way," M.M. cut him off, "You're bi because of him, you're in love with him, and he's in love with you. You go out. You make out. That, at the very least, sounds like dating to me."

Spanner rolled his eyes before he got out another lollipop and popped it in his mouth tiredly, knowing there was no use in arguing.

* * *

**Namimori High School, 3.07pm**

It really wasn't Yamamoto's fault that he witnessed the scene.

It was just pure coincidence. Yamamoto was not allowed to participate in the baseball club with his injured arm, thus, he was sent to the school's office to get the register. He never even thought about what could be going on – his thoughts were already too preoccupied by something else.

Or, on more accurate terms: someone else.

Precisely: Hibari Kyouya.

Yamamoto didn't know how long it was that he kissed the prefect's soft lips, his fingers woven into that smooth black hair. The moment was perfect – but it didn't last. When Yamamoto reluctantly pulled away, Hibari had stared at him with an expression he couldn't read – those cheeks flushed red and those dark eyes for once uncertain and confused, quivering only slightly. Then all of a sudden, the prefect abruptly stood up before he took one step backwards, turned, and speed-walked out of the room.

Yamamoto knew better than to follow the prefect. Hibari was the kind of person who dealt with things alone and never relied on others. He was independent and solitary, and more than anything he hated being pestered by others. Yamamoto's observation of the Skylark had taught him that there are moments when he had to give Hibari his time and space.

However, not knowing what Hibari thought of him or what was going to happen between them was killing Yamamoto. He wanted answers, and moreover, he wanted to see Hibari. After their kiss, Yamamoto had fallen deeper for the prefect, and he wanted more of him. He wanted to see the hidden side Hibari never showed to anyone, wanted to smell that faintly sweet scent, wanted to taste those lips, wanted to hear that voice being used in a completely different way, and he wanted to hold Hibari in his arms – even just for a little while.

Sighing, Yamamoto stepped into the school's office and walked over to the register area, mindlessly running his fingers down the columns of folders before he eventually found the baseball club's register. But before he could pull the folder out, a sound from a room inside the office stopped him.

CRASH.

It was a sound of glass breaking, and it came from the Headmaster's room.

Concerned, and seeing that no one was in the office, Yamamoto jogged over to the room before he immediately stopped in his tracks when he caught a glimpse of what was going on inside.

_Is that…?_

_…!_

Leaning against the wall with wide eyes, Yamamoto looked through the tiny door's window to confirm what he saw.

But even though the image was the same as the first time, it didn't make it any easier to take in.

Inside the room, there was the Head and Rokudo Mukuro. That wasn't anything unusual – Mukuro was an extreme rebel. He was called to the office almost on a daily basis.

But what was unusual was that Mukuro was pinned to the wall, his shirt unbuttoned, with the Headmaster, Byakuran, running his hands down Mukuro's body in a way that definitely should _not_ be done to a student.

Mukuro struggled to get away, but Byakuran held him firm against the wall. That pale face of his, masked with a smile.

They were talking to each other, but through the door all Yamamoto could hear were muffled noises. Curious to what they were saying, Yamamoto decided to carefully open the door just a creak enough for the voices to come through.

"There's no need to be upset, Mukuro-kun," Byakuran murmured, brushing Mukuro's hair back.

"…let go of me," Mukuro muttered, looking away.

"I don't want to," Byakuran smiled.

Mukuro clenched his teeth, "…fucking asshole."

"Hm?" Byakuran ignored the comment, moving down to kiss Mukuro's neck.

"Don't…" Mukuro closed his eyes.

Byakuran smirked before he bit down teasingly on the soft flesh causing Mukuro to gasp and writhe in what Yamamoto couldn't figure was pain or pleasure.

"Stop it," Mukuro breathed, "I'm not your bloody 'Shou-chan'."

Byakuran looked up, "…who ever said anything about Shou-chan?"

"Don't bullshit me," Mukuro spat.

"That's not cute, Mukuro-kun," Byakuran's smile was still present.

Mukuro looked away before he spoke, "_…I hate you._"

Byakuran paused at that, the smile disappearing for an instant, before it slowly reappeared with a dark glint in those eyes. Then, Byakuran harshly threw Mukuro to a nearby sofa before he quickly followed, crouching on top of the younger, locking those slim wrists with one hand. Mukuro didn't have the time to escape when Byakuran's lips were immediately on his own, kissing him both passionately and violently.

At that point, Yamamoto's eyes grew wider before he took a slow and careful step backwards and started moving away from the room, trying to make as little noise as possible. As soon as he reached the office door, he rushed out, sprinting as though he was running in a baseball game.

_Shit… I'm really not supposed to see that…_

* * *

**At Dynamite's Base – AKA Lancia's House**

It wasn't often that all the leading members of Dynamite would be present in a meeting. Usually, one of two would be missing and a message would be passed on to them. It was considered a rare occasion that all leading members would be there… and this was one of those occasions.

There was Lancia, of course, the current boss and founder of Dynamite.

There was Lal – Lancia's older sister and Dynamite's strongest female fighter.

There was M.M., another strong female who joined Dynamite since she was thirteen.

There was Smoking Bomb, or Gokudera Hayato, a fierce fighter who was an expert with all sorts of bombs the gang could get their hands on.

There was Skull, a rider and the youngest leading member of the gang.

And there was Spanner, the mechanic of the gang, who was also brilliant in fighting skills, but a _genius_ in equipment and machinery.

"I think how Bel attacked Gokudera like that was really low," M.M. said, "If he used knives it would have been extremely dangerous."

"But it _is_ Gokudera's fault for not being careful enough," Lal said, glancing at the silvernette.

"Tch. I wasn't prepared," Gokudera mumbled.

"That's not an excuse. You should be more cautious," Lancia said, "You should know that by now."

Gokudera rolled in his lips, before he spoke quietly, "Okay… I get it."

Lancia nodded before he turned to Spanner, "Spanner, did you manage to get some new weapons?"

"Yeah," Spanner replied, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth before he continued speaking, "But I think we need more. Apparently the Varia's been restocking as well, they're buying a whole load of stuff."

M.M. frowned, "What? Why do they even need anymore? They already have more than enough."

"Ah, right," Skull perked up, "My friend said that some Varia members were buying some scrap metal from him as well."

"So they're powering up…" Gokudera said.

"As if they're not strong enough already," M.M. rolled her eyes, "You saw the state of us last time we fought… we haven't been winning much recently."

Lancia and Lal shared a silent look, before Lancia spoke, "…they're preparing to take us down."

"Wha-?" Skull's eyes widened, "No. That's not possible. They can't take our entire gang down."

"No. They can. At this point especially," Lal spoke grimly, "They are very strong right now, and if they get even stronger, they can take us down. And trust me, they will."

"Fuck them…" M.M. swore, "I'm not letting them destroy our gang."

"We're not," Lancia spoke, "I won't let them."

"Hm… well according to their equipment, the chances that they will succeed are rather unsettlingly high. Even if we power up… it's still unlikely that we can win," Spanner rolled the lollipop in his mouth, "…and I'm not being pessimistic."

Gokudera frowned, "Then… why don't we cheat?"

Lal looked at him, "What exactly are you implying?"

"I just think that if we couldn't win against them directly… then why don't we do it some other way. It's not like there's anything fair in color gang warfare anyways…" Gokudera said.

M.M. nodded, "Yeah. I agree. We could cheat. Like, have a spy or something."

"I don't like that idea," Lancia mumbled.

"It could work, though. High percentage," Spanner said.

"You mean have someone from our side join the Varia and leak their info to our side?" Skull asked.

"Yeah, something like that," M.M. nodded.

"I still don't like it," Lancia said.

"Why? Because it's 'cheating'?" Gokudera wanted to know.

Lancia paused for a slight moment, "…maybe."

"Tch," Gokudera crossed his arms, "You're acting like Varia ever played fair with us."

Lal nodded, "He has a point."

"And I think I have the perfect person for the job," M.M. added, "I've been trying to get him to join Dynamite for a while now anyways."

"Who?" Spanner asked.

"This kid I know. Skull's age. Great potential," M.M. replied.

"How did you know him?" Lal narrowed her eyes.

"Ah, well he's…" M.M. paused, realizing what she was going to say next, before she continued quietly, "…he's an apprentice of Mukuro's."

Immediately, Lancia spoke, "No."

M.M. frowned, "What?"

"No," Lancia repeated, "If we are really going through with this, then it has to be someone else who's not involved with _him_." Lancia spoke the word like it was poison on his tongue.

"But he's _perfect_," M.M. argued, "He just moved in town, so no one's going to know him, and he's going to apply to Gokudera's school soon anyways, and you know that school is just filled with Varia members. So it won't even be weird if he would become one of them."

Gokudera rolled his eyes, "Tch. No shit."

Spanner nodded, "Sounds suitable."

"I agree on this one," Skull added.

Lancia shook his head, "I don't want to risk having anything to do with Mukuro."

"Lancia," M.M. crossed her arms, "You're being unreasonable."

Lancia glared at her, "…you don't even _know_ what he's capable of. Where do you think Lal got that scar from?"

M.M. looked up at Lal's burn mark on her cheek, just beneath her right eye. The skin there was rumpled and still tinged slightly pink – it was the only flaw on Lal's face. Not that it made her any less striking; it made her attractive in a way of broken beauty. Though, it was still a shame to see a marking on her face.

Looking at the wound now, Gokudera understood why Lancia always emphasized how dangerous Mukuro was. It was amazing how much of a façade he put on, studying in Nami High and hanging around with the other students when he could fit in easily with the real underground world…

_Ah._

_Yamamoto hangs out with him…_

Gokudera realized, before he shook away the thought, deciding that it was no concern to him who Yamamoto hung out with. The silvernette then took out a cigarette from his pocket, but before he could light it, the image of dark chocolate eyes which stared at him with worry came to his mind.

He frowned. _Get out of my head, you baseball freak._

Gokudera lit up the tobacco stick._ This is my body. I can smoke if I want to._

"…Mukuro did that?" M.M. asked in disbelief. Mukuro used to be so close to her when they were in Kokuyo together, and though he did do some horrible things, M.M. never thought he would go so far as to burn a girl's face.

"It already happened – long time ago. Don't bring it up," Lal calmly brushed off the subject, before she continued, "And I agree with your plan. The kid M.M. knows sounds like a good candidate."

"Lal," Lancia looked up at her with a serious face, "The kid is Mukuro's apprentice. He _taught _this kid. I don't trust anyone who's in contact with him."

Lal sighed tiredly, "Look. You trust M.M. don't you?"

"Yeah. Of course," Lancia replied almost without thinking about it.

"But you do know that M.M. talks to Mukuro every now and then," Lal stated.

M.M. had gained a sudden interest in the carpet patterns in the floor, fidgeting guiltily with her fingers.

Lancia frowned, "But that's different… M.M.'s-"

"No. It's not." Lal cut him off, "…we need this plan, Lancia."

Lancia's frown deepened, and after he looked at each leading Dynamite member and saw them all expectantly looking at him, he hung his head and sighed. There was a moment of silence after that where everyone sat there quietly, anticipating their boss's answer.

It took some time before the answer finally came – and in an extremely reluctant tone at that. But, it was an answer that they wanted nonetheless.

"…fine."

* * *

**Namimori High School, 7.22am**

Gokudera came to school the next morning with a lot of things on his mind – the plan of his gang, Lal's burn mark, Mukuro's mysterious past, Tsuna's wellbeing, and… reluctantly, Yamamoto Takeshi.

It wasn't until he reached the school gates that it actually hit him that once again he had opened up to someone he didn't mean to. Furthermore, that 'someone' was an overly optimistic happy-go-lucky baseball freak – the type of guy Gokudera wouldn't even glance at or consider communicating with. From Gokudera's point of view, there was nothing in Yamamoto that was relatable to him.

They lived in separate worlds, they walked separate paths. Gokudera was a rebel, a color gang member – violent, vicious, and volatile; whilst Yamamoto was a typical popular high school guy, content with his life, playing sports and making his way through subjects. If Gokudera's world could be said to be splattered in crimson red, Yamamoto's would be clear blue – complete, polemic opposites.

That was probably why Yamamoto's approach threatened him to some extent, because he was so unused to being taken care of and receiving smiles and kind words for absolutely no reason. Of course, there was Tsuna who was like a beacon of light to Gokudera – but he had known Tsuna from since childhood – he understood Tsuna. But Yamamoto Takeshi… he didn't get him. He didn't understand how someone could want to befriend him without any hidden intentions.

Trouble. That's what Yamamoto was – and he knew it from since the first time they met.

Trouble – because he was so different to what Gokudera had become accustomed to.

Trouble – because he managed to crack a tiny hole in Gokudera's wall of defense.

And troubles were threats… because once someone reached 'him', they could potentially hurt him.

Walking into Tsuna's classroom, however, the usually bright and bubbly 'baseball idiot/trouble' was acting strangely. Yamamoto was sitting in his chair and staring forwards as if in a daze, his eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.

The expression almost came as a shock to Gokudera. _That guy could actually look serious…?_

"Ah, good morning, Gokudera-kun," Tsuna smiled at him.

"Morning," Gokudera replied, as he made himself comfortable sitting on another student's desk.

Yamamoto looked up when he heard Gokudera's voice, before his eyes brightened up when he saw the silvernette sitting in front of him. "Ah, hi Gokudera."

Gokudera looked away from those chocolate eyes, mumbling quietly, "…hey."

Yamamoto smiled, "You're feeling better?"

"Yeah…" Gokudera mumbled awkwardly, suddenly not knowing where to place his arms.

"That's good," Yamamoto nodded, satisfied, before he slowly sank back into his trail of deep thoughts. Gokudera was surprised that Yamamoto didn't ask any more questions. Those emerald eyes glanced at the baseball player before Gokudera frowned when he noticed that expression on Yamamoto's face once again.

_What could someone like him possibly be thinking that deeply about?_

Gokudera turned, and saw Tsuna looking curiously at Yamamoto as well.

The brown haired boy finally decided to break to silence in the three, "Uh… Yamamoto, do you want to talk to us about something?"

Yamamoto looked up, considered, before he suddenly spoke, "If this guy likes another guy, does that make him gay?"

_…wha-?_

Both Gokudera and Tsuna stared at Yamamoto.

Tsuna made the faster recovery, "Uh… I guess, Yamamoto… or maybe bi – if he likes girls as well. Ah… why would you ask?"

"I was just… thinking about stuff," Yamamoto replied.

Gokudera thought of Spanner, and how the blonde had asked him the exact question when he started having feelings for Irie Shouichi.

_But Yamamoto said he had a crush on this cute girl._

_Hey. Now that I think about it, he never really mentioned the gender of his crush._

_Does that mean the baseball freak is-_

"Wait. Who is this 'guy' you're talking about?" Gokudera wanted to know.

Yamamoto leaned his head to one side, his head conjuring up images of Mukuro with Byakuran, and Hibari with himself. "I'm not sure yet…"

Well, that's not necessarily true. Byakuran was obviously attracted to Mukuro – and as for Yamamoto, he knew he liked Hibari. But the subject of his sexuality never really came to his mind until yesterday. Last night, all he could think about was Hibari and their kiss, his attraction for the head prefect growing that much more. Thinking about it made a faint blush appear on Yamamoto's face.

Both Gokudera and Tsuna saw it. The silvernette narrowed his eyes at Yamamoto suspiciously.

But even before either of them could question him, Yamamoto blurted out, "I think I might be bi."

There was a moment of stunned silence between Tsuna and Gokudera.

"Ah… what makes you think that?" Tsuna asked awkwardly. He had always thought Yamamoto liked girls even though he never really dated anyone, and it never occurred to him that Yamamoto would be anything but straight.

"Haha, well I'm not sure about the sexuality stuff really," Yamamoto smiled, before resting his cheek on the desk and murmuring, "…but I think I really like someone."

Maybe it was the look in those dark chocolate orbs, or that faint blush on his cheeks, or the soft, warm tone of voice, or that easy, carefree, genuine smile… but whatever it was, Gokudera's heart had skipped a beat the moment Yamamoto said it.

_What the…_

_What the hell was that? _Gokudera bit his lip, blood rushing unwillingly to his cheeks.

…

…indeed, Yamamoto Takeshi was trouble.

* * *

**Namimori High School, 12.59pm**

Yamamoto had been pacing in front of the Prefect's room for some time now, but he still didn't know what he should do. On one hand he really wanted to see Hibari – not just because he missed his terribly, but also because he needed to figure out what was going on between them. Yamamoto was sure he had not mistaken the look in those dark eyes yesterday when he kissed the Skylark, and Hibari didn't push him away – and that definitely meant something. Yamamoto just needed the confirmation, and he didn't want to wait and let his mind dwindle on it any longer.

However, on the other hand, Yamamoto feared that barging in on Hibari would cause the opposite effect and push the prefect away. Yamamoto had known Hibari long enough to understand that forcing him into something was never a good idea.

But… he needed to know that the kiss meant at least half of what it meant to him for Hibari. Either that or he needed a full, outright rejection, so that he could try to at least hold his feelings before it went too far. Maybe it already did.

Thus, taking a deep breath for the eighth time, Yamamoto knocked on the double doors of the prefect's room.

"Come in," Hibari's voice came through the door – and Yamamoto felt the blood curdle in his chest.

_Here goes._

Slowly pushing the door open, Yamamoto stepped silently inside the room.

Hibari was sitting on his desk and working on some papers, as usual, his posture and facial expression calm and relaxed. He didn't look up to see who came in, but instead mumbled, "Just put it on the table, Kusakabe."

Yamamoto smiled lightly, stepping closer to the prefect until he is almost right in front of his desk, watching Hibari work. He murmured, "Ahaha, your concentration is amazing, Hibari."

…_!_

Hearing Yamamoto's voice froze him, the pen on his paper stopped moving before the prefect looked up at him – those dark eyes masking his confusion with a glare. "…what are you doing here?"

Yamamoto moved closer until he was leaning on the opposite side of Hibari's desk. He replied softly, looking deep into Hibari's black eyes, "I think you know the answer to that, senpai."

Hibari turned sideways, refusing to look at Yamamoto's dark brown eyes which seemed to get to him every time.

Yamamoto observed him, before deciding to continue, "Senpai, yesterday-"

"Shut up," Hibari immediately cut him off, his face flushing red.

"But Hibari-"

"Just shut up," Hibari repeated, "…I don't want to talk about it."

Yamamoto sighed, before he walked around the desk to Hibari's side. The prefect tensed in his chair, very fully aware of the decreasing distance between them.

Gently, Yamamoto placed his hand on top of the prefect's, "Hibari…"

Hibari jerked his arm away, standing up and quickly walking away. But Yamamoto wasn't going to let him go that easily – he knew that this was more or less his only chance.

Following the Skylark to the door, Yamamoto eventually grabbed hold of Hibari's thin wrist before it could turn the handle, murmuring into his ear from the back, "Don't run away. Please, just listen to me."

"Let go," Hibari mumbled, his heart thumping hard and fast in his chest – so much that he was afraid Yamamoto could hear it.

"No," Yamamoto moved his hand from Hibari's wrist to Hibari's hand once again, while his other hand gently wrapped around the perfect's slim waist, pulling him closer.

Hibari tensed even more, feeling his back pressed closely to Yamamoto's body. His heart was going crazy, his breathing shallower and faster. He didn't like feeling so out of control like this – being held between Yamamoto and the door. Even though part of him knew he could easily punch Yamamoto and walk away, another part – that other, confusing, irrational part – was longing to stay and hear what Yamamoto has to say.

Hibari turned his body around so that he was facing the other, before he realized that it was the wrong move. Now, not only were their bodies connected, but Hibari had to face those dark chocolate eyes as well.

Yamamoto observed the blush on Hibari's cheeks, the small breaths, and those eyes that refused to meet his own. He smiled, before he bent close and whispered, right next to his ears, grazing the skin with his lips in the way that he already knew affected Hibari, "…am I making you nervous?"

Hibari tensed, feeling Yamamoto's hot breath run down his neck. He bit his lips, "…what do you want?" Hibari mentally kicked himself for sounding so vulnerable.

Yamamoto leaned back, looking at Hibari and that confused, nervous expression that hardly ever showed itself. A faint smile appeared on his lips before he gently tilted Hibari's head up towards him. Those dark eyes finally moved to meet Yamamoto's then, first showing alarm, before they were melted by the smile on Yamamoto's face and the gaze in Yamamoto's eyes.

Yamamoto no longer hesitated. He gently pushed Hibari's body against the door before he leaned closer and captured Hibari's lips with his own.

At first, this kiss was just like the first – as soft and gentle and airy; lips meeting soft lips. But after they broke for breath, their lips met again in a different way.

Yamamoto ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of Hibari's lips, making Hibari gasp only slightly, but enough for Yamamoto to slip inside, exploring and stealing in on the sweetness within. Almost subconsciously, Hibari responded, meeting Yamamoto's tongue with his own, further deepening the kiss. Yamamoto pressed his body closer to Hibari, pushing him against the door, one hand tracing up the prefect's spine before running through his silky black hair. Hibari trembled with the touch, his knees weakening, and he wrapped his arms around Yamamoto's neck for support.

Another breath. Another kiss. Then another once again.

Until eventually, Yamamoto reluctantly pulled back. Hibari was panting softly, his face flushed red, his lips kiss-swollen, with his eyes glazed. His arms and legs were weak, and he was letting Yamamoto hold him, was hanging onto him and leaning against him. Looking at the Skylark's face, Yamamoto almost couldn't stop himself from moving in for another kiss.

"You," Yamamoto whispered on Hibari's lips, a faint smile on his face, "…I want you."

Hibari looked at that genuine smile, looked into those dark chocolate eyes that were looking at him with so much passion, so much care and so much _warmth_ – and he knew he wanted this as well. He wanted Yamamoto. There was no use denying it all along. Hibari knew himself well – if he hated something, he would never allow it to even come close to him. But if he did let someone in, there was no letting go.

And Yamamoto… he had managed to break into him right from the start.

Even though it was scary that Yamamoto reminded him so much of the only other person who managed to break through… Hibari was going to take that risk again.

Hibari looked at Yamamoto's face one more time, before he leaned up and softly pecked Yamamoto's lips as a reply.

At first, Yamamoto was dumbstruck. Then, he watched Hibari's face blush crimson red all over again and the smile on his face widened to a smile so bright he was almost glowing. Immediately, he hugged Hibari tight, holding that petite form in his arms, feeling happier than ever.

Hibari rolled his eyes at how ecstatic Yamamoto was, but even so, he leaned his head on the curve of Yamamoto's neck, hiding his faint smile behind the baseball player's shoulder.

That faint smile that had disappeared along with someone, some time ago – it had finally returned.

* * *

**A/N: **School is back! Ugh. Aren't we just so glad. =_= But apart from complete torture for me, it also means slower updates for you guys due to the lack of time I have T^T I'm sorry~

But I do hope I can still manage to update weekly… and yesh, please review! :D –cuddles-


	6. Lose Control

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **more swearing, more fluff ;P appreciate it while it is still here ^_^+

**A/N: **Again, I cannot thank you all enough for your fab reviews! :D Glad you guys liked the 10069 thrown in! And… our little Froggy is finally here! :D

'**The Shifter Simply Weird'** is my beta reader and she is ah-mazing~ xD LOTS of thanks to her!

* * *

**Namimori High School, 3.09pm**

"Whoa… hey look, that kid has green hair."

"Seriously? Where? Oh, wow. That actually looks like his natural color."

"He's not wearing a school uniform either – is he new?"

"At this time of year? I don't think so."

"Why else would he be there then? Or is he dating someone from Nami?"

"Ahh that'd be a shame. He's quite cute isn't he?"

"Oh shoot. He's looking this way."

Fran glanced at the gossiping girls before he sighed and turned away, continuing to walk.

_Stereotypical morons. As expected of a typical high school. _

"Kufufufu… you sure are attracting quite some attention, little one," A familiar voice rang from somewhere above, and Fran turned his head to the source.

Poking his head out from the window of the second floor of the main school building was Rokudo Mukuro with a fine smirk on his face, his mismatched eyes glinting.

"Master Mukuro," Fran nodded in acknowledgement, before he continued, "You hairstyle impersonates a pineapple even more impossibly so than the last time I've seen it."

"Kufufu, and you're the same as always," Mukuro chuckled, "Wait a sec."

Mukuro pushed the window open wider before he climbed up onto the window sill and jumped down onto the floor, landing gracefully with a cat-like stance before he slowly stood up and smiled at Fran.

Fran clapped unenthusiastically, "Ah. Sugoi, Master. But I was really hoping I would see some splat-action on the ground. Pity." Fran's face was just as expressionless as his voice.

"As if," Mukuro smirked, before he reached out and ruffled Fran's sea foam green hair, "So what brings my little one here to Nami? You're transferring?"

"Ah. Right." Fran looked up as if he had just remembered something. He pulled out a piece of notepaper from his pocket and handed it to Mukuro, "Can you help me find this person?"

"Hm?" Mukuro looked at the name written on the paper, "Gokudera Hayato. Ah, the Smoking Bomb of Dynamite. Why do you want to see him?"

"The redhead told me to come see him before I transfer to this school."

"Hmm, M.M. … does this mean you are getting involved with Dynamite?"

"Guess so." Fran shrugged, not really caring.

"Kufufu, how interesting, considering how much Lancia hates me," Mukuro smile's widened, "They do know that you're my apprentice don't they?"

"Mm-hm," Fran mono-toned.

"Ah… I see," Mukuro nodded, smirking, before he got out a pen and started sketching a miniature map on the back of the piece of paper. He handed it back to Fran, "…sophomore's floor, class S-3. Look for the person with the silver hair. He should be there; I heard he's helping Sawada Tsunayoshi out with some homework."

Fran nodded, expressionlessly giving Mukuro a thumbs-up, "Thank you, master."

Then, the younger started walking away, before he stopped and turned towards Mukuro once again, his green eyes staring.

Mukuro raised his eyebrows, "What is it?"

Fran leaned his head to one side, before he mumbled, "You should really button up your shirt, master. A kiss mark is clearly visible and, personally, the mental image of you being uke is unfortunately very traumatizing."

With that, Fran turned and walked off, leaving Mukuro blushing fiercely with one hand covering his neck.

* * *

**Namimori High School, 3.14pm**

"Oi. You. Silver haired person over there. Are you Gokudera Hayato?"

Gokudera looked up when he heard his name being called by a monotonous voice, and what he saw was a male teenager with almost shoulder length pale green hair, slightly younger than himself, leaning against the door. He had smooth porcelain pale skin, a petite body, and deep green emerald eyes that rather reminded him of his own. He also wasn't wearing a uniform, but instead, a casual black t-shirt with dark jeans.

Gokudera mumbled an apology to Tsuna before he stood up and walked towards the stranger, "What do you want?"

"M.M. told me to come see you," Fran replied expressionlessly.

_Ah. Right. She did say he would come today didn't she?_

Gokudera scanned the boy from head to toe, before he frowned.

_I didn't expect him to look so… fragile._

"Er – hello~" Fran waved his hand in front of Gokudera's face, dragging his monotone voice.

Gokudera swatted the hand away, "…okay. What's your name then?"

"Fran." He answered simply.

Gokudera raised an eyebrow, "What, you don't have a last name?"

It was supposed to be a sarcastic question, but Fran shocked Gokudera when he replied in the same simple manner, "No. Don't have one."

"…fine," Gokudera mumbled, deciding not to dwell on the subject, before he continued, "When are you transferring to this school?"

"Tomorrow. Freshman year."

"Did M.M. tell you what to do?"

"Yup. A hundred times approximately. And then Lancia repeated. Then that punkish purple head repeated. Then M.M. again. And again. And again… really, what is up with you red scarf people?" Fran went on.

Gokudera noticed that Fran's expression never once changed during the time they have met – it was just that permanent mask of listlessness. It reminded him so much of Mukuro's unbroken mysterious smirk that was always painted on his face…

_He taught this kid, sure enough. _Gokudera thought, _their vibes are similar somehow._

"Here," Gokudera pulled out a scrunched up photograph from his pocket and handed it to Fran, "This is Belphegor – Prince the Ripper of Varia"

Fran observed the class photo of the prince, that blonde bang and that insane smile stretching so widely it looked like it was about to split Bel's face in half. To Fran, he looked very much like a brainless maniac.

"You know what to do?" Gokudera asked.

"Yes." Fran nodded, before he tucked the photo into his back pocket, turned, and walked off silently – not bothering to say goodbye.

Gokudera watched him until his back disappeared from sight.

_Fran. _

_Mukuro's student, huh?_

…_that means he will be flawless in what he does. Mukuro is well-known for a reason, after all._

_But Mukuro is infamous for being a traitor …I can trust neither him, nor his student._

* * *

**Namimori High School, 7.08am**

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

"Hibari… it's me," Yamamoto called.

He waited for a while, and when no reply came, he decided to just push open the door and step inside, his heart fluttering excitedly.

Yamamoto had been in this room many times before, but now, instead of having to just sneak glances at the prefect from time to time, he could actually go up to Hibari and hold him. Just the thought of Hibari's soft, petite form wrapped in his arms with that faintly sweet smell was overbearing. The memory of yesterday was still clear in Yamamoto's mind. The kisses, the embrace… Yamamoto was in heaven. He was positive he wouldn't have left if Kusakabe didn't come in and interrupt them.

All night long, Yamamoto spent his time rolling around on his bed, not believing the fact that Hibari had accepted his feelings. This was not a dream, not one of his silly imaginations anymore. This was real.

Stepping into the Prefect's Council, Yamamoto's eyes immediately searched for Hibari – and there he was, lying on the dark leather sofa with his jacket draped over his torso, sleeping soundlessly, his chest rising and falling calmly, that expression for once peaceful and almost innocent.

Yamamoto couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his lips, and he carefully made his way towards the sofa, making sure he didn't make any noises that would disturb the Skylark. Then, he knelt down next to Hibari, silently observing the prefect.

Those eyelashes, those cheeks, those lips. That dark, smooth hair that was soft like a well-groomed black cat's fur. That pale skin, in equal tone throughout his body, from his face down to his delicate limbs. It was a wonder how Hibari could look so vulnerable and weak whilst he was sleeping, when everyone in Nami High knew how fierce and violent he could be when he was awake.

For a second, Yamamoto thought he should move back, knowing that he was sitting way too close to Hibari – their faces almost touching.

But then, Yamamoto realized something.

This time, he didn't need to move back.

Hibari belonged to him.

…the realization was like warm water rushing through his body – and looking at Hibari's face once more, Yamamoto almost couldn't believe that it was true.

Unable to resist the temptation, Yamamoto leaned closer to the Skylark before he gently kissed the prefect's soft cheek, his fingers reaching out to toy with a strand of that soft hair.

Hibari's eyes slowly fluttered open when he felt something warm on his face, before he sleepily turned his head to the source of that sensation.

As his vision focused, the first thing he saw was Yamamoto's smile – that warm, genuine smile, complete with those dark chocolate eyes that were looking at him and sparkling, as if they were looking at the best thing in the world.

"Morning, Hibari," Yamamoto murmured softly, caressing the prefect's cheek, those eyes not once looking anywhere else but into Hibari's own, touching something very small and incredibly sensitive inside of the Skylark.

And in that moment, Hibari realized that Yamamoto Takeshi really was someone rather special to him. After all, there had been only one other person…

The Skylark didn't want to think about it.

"Morning," Hibari mumbled back, a tiny blush appearing on his cheeks as he turned away from Yamamoto's hand before he started lifting himself up into a sitting position, yawning quietly.

"Haha, slept late last night?" Yamamoto smiled.

"Yeah…" Hibari mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly; Yamamoto finding the action particularly adorable. Hibari continued, "…you're not going to your classroom?"

"Ah, there's still some time," Yamamoto climbed up and sat onto the sofa right next to Hibari, "…and I want to be with you."

Hibari didn't know how to respond to that honest yet completely shameless answer. Instead, he turned away and hid his blush. The Skylark's cheeks hadn't had this much blood rushing to them in months.

It was quiet after that – but only for a short while.

Hibari almost jumped off the sofa when all of sudden Yamamoto slid both of his hands easily around the prefect's slim waist.

"W-what are you-" Hibari stuttered, biting his own tongue afterwards for it.

"Whoa… you're really thin Hibari," Yamamoto ignored the alarmed look on the Skylark's face and continued to run his hands gently up and down Hibari's sides, "Your waist is really small."

Hibari elbowed Yamamoto's stomach harshly, "Hands off."

"Ow… haha, sorry," The smile on Yamamoto's face didn't waver at all, before he leaned closer and murmured right in Hibari's ears, "You're just too cute. I couldn't res- ow, ow! Okay, okay, sorry~."

Hibari sighed in relief when Yamamoto finally moved back after being elbowed in the face, but the Skylark was far from satisfaction. The sparkly look in those chocolate eyes of the baseball player with that teasing smile was frustrating him. The younger was even laughing_ happily_ after being _hit_ in the _face_ – who the hell does that?

Apparently, Yamamoto Takeshi did.

"Ahaha, ahh, you're really strong for someone so small," Yamamoto smiled.

"Of course. I'm not a weakling," Hibari mumbled, before he frowned once again when he looked at Yamamoto's face, "…why are you smiling?"

"Hm?" Yamamoto raised his eyebrows, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just hit you. People usually don't smile when I hit them," Hibari said, matter-of-factly.

"Ahahaha, well that's probably normal," Yamamoto smiled brightly, "…but I'm an exception."

"How?" Hibari asked, out of innocent curiosity.

Yamamoto leaned his head to one side before he slowly inched himself closer, "…don't you know?"

Starting to sense where this was going, Hibari avoided looking in Yamamoto's eyes, "How should I? I'm not-"

Hibari's words were trapped in his lips when Yamamoto bent closer and softly pecked on them, startling the prefect, before moving away far too quickly.

Lingering between the lips-distance, Yamamoto murmured, "Figure it out, senpai."

Then, Yamamoto swiftly stood up from the sofa and started heading towards the door, Hibari staring at him in confusion.

Just before he exited the room, Yamamoto turned around and flashed Hibari another of his signature bright smiles, "I'll come back here after school, 'kay?"

Then, Yamamoto was gone, leaving Hibari sitting there, slowly taking in everything that just happened.

_That was… unexpected._

Hibari never thought that Yamamoto would be the type that would kiss him and touch him so spontaneously, and he didn't expect Yamamoto to have the ability to tease him either.

Those hands fast-moving, one moment by his side, another moment wrapped around his waist; that little playful whisper; the kiss that was so brief it left him wanting more.

Hibari rolled in his lips, a blush forming on his cheeks.

_This is bad…_

_I'm losing control._

* * *

**Namimori High School, 7.48am**

'EXPEDITION – OKINAWA'

The words scribbled largely on the board by Reborn's handwriting pretty much summed up all the topics of conversation going on in the classroom that morning. It was the time of year when everyone prepared themselves for the upcoming expeditions, the classes in each year group merged for discussions, and the level of excitement was almost brimming over the edge in the crowded room.

"BEACH! We're going to the BEACH~!" Ken shouted cheerfully, grinning widely as he waved his expedition letter around.

"Ahahaha, he seems pretty excited," Yamamoto laughed at Ken's immature flailing.

Chikusa nodded, his face showing absolutely neutral expression as always, "Mm. Ken and I have never been to a beach before so this is all very exciting for us."

"Ehh? Really? That's a shame – beaches are very fun," Tsuna said, before he turned to Gokudera, "Gokudera-kun, have you been to a beach before?"

"Ah, not really," Gokudera shook his head, "I drove past one before, though."

"Oh? Gokudera's never been to a beach?" Yamamoto turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah. Never really got the chance to." Gokudera muttered, looking down at his feet.

_As if that asshole of a father would ever treat me to something like that._

Yamamoto noticed the broken look in those emerald eyes almost immediately. He shuffled his chair closer to the silvernette, "Gokudera… is anything wrong?"

Gokudera looked up and stared at Yamamoto. Those dark chocolate eyes were looking into his with real understanding and concern – as if he knew what Gokudera was going through.

_No. That's not fucking possible._

"Nothing," Gokudera turned away.

Yamamoto was unconvinced. Clearly, there was something really bothering the silvernette, and Yamamoto wanted to help. But before he could even speak another word, he was interrupted by a soft chuckle from the back.

"Kufufu… I have just come up with the most perfect plan," Mukuro smirked, his mismatched eyes gleaming. The depressed, pained looking Mukuro yesterday had seemed to disappear altogether, and Mukuro was as striking, strong and intimidating as ever, his usual dark vibe oozing out of him like steam. It was as if the Mukuro yesterday didn't even exist – not that it was a bad thing, but it was strange all the same. It was a wonder how he could have possibly recovered that quickly.

"Ah… what is it, Mukuro?" Tsuna asked, sweat-dropping, knowing full-well that all of Mukuro's 'plans' never resulted to anything good.

"Ken, Chikusa and I are rooming together, and Smoking Bomb, Yamamoto and Tsunayoshi are rooming together, right?" Mukuro smiled.

"Duh. Of course I'm with Tsuna," Gokudera muttered, "Now cut out the bullshit and spill out your 'amazing' plan."

Mukuro's eyes gleamed with mischief as he smirked and murmured, "I'm going to bring some alcohol."

"Ehhh?" Tsuna's eyes widened, more sweat forming on his face. _This doesn't sound like a good idea at all…_

"Ahahaha, cool! This will be my third time," Yamamoto laughed lightly, the topic of Gokudera's issue forgotten as it was pushed to the back of his mind.

"Tch. Third time. Big deal, baseball freak," Gokudera rolled his eyes.

"Hehe, well, Gokudera's in Dynamite so it's natural to have more experience," Yamamoto said.

Gokudera smirked, "No shit."

"Ahaha, that's awesome. You'll have to take care of me then," Yamamoto smiled.

"Yeah right. You wish, baseball idiot. I have Tsuna to take care of," Gokudera spoke as he wrapped his arm around Tsuna's neck.

Tsuna rolled in his lips nervously, "Uh… but… I never drank before, and we really shouldn't-"

"Don't worry, Tsuna! I'll be right by your side!" Gokudera gave Tsuna and cheerful thumbs-up to which the brown haired boy responded with an uncertain smile.

"Ahhh, I'm getting kinda jealous of Tsuna here, haha," Yamamoto chuckled lightly.

Gokudera was about to reply to that when all of a sudden Mukuro suddenly cut in, "Kufufu… don't worry, Yamamoto. I'll be helping you out."

The mismatched-eyed rebel slid his arms around Yamamoto's neck from the back and rested his chin on top of Yamamoto's head.

Yamamoto smiled up at him, "Hehe, thanks Mukuro."

Mukuro smirked, murmuring, "My pleasure."

For some reason, as Gokudera looked at the scene, he felt rather annoyed at the proximity between Yamamoto and Mukuro. Maybe it was because he sort of considered Yamamoto as his almost-friend now, and he knew how dangerous and untrustworthy Mukuro was.

Yes. It had to be that.

Or maybe it was just that Yamamoto's attention had been on him for some time – what with how he took care of him when he was sick and all that – so it was just a bit strange now when it was a different situation.

It was not like the silvernette was _jealous_ or anything, of course not.

Gokudera's emerald eyes glanced at Yamamoto and Mukuro smiling at each other, and the frown on his face deepened.

_Of course not._

"Oi, oi, Yamamoto! Get your hands off our Mukuro-sama!" Ken complained.

"Hahaha, I'm not doing anything. It's Mukuro who's hugging me," Yamamoto smiled innocently.

"Shut up! Don't make excuses!" Ken started attempting to peel Mukuro off from Yamamoto, but it seemed as though the Kokuyo gang leader was quite enjoying the moment.

"Kufufufu… I feel so loved~. Oh, who should I choose? Yamamoto, the friendly ace baseball player… or Ken, the wild blonde animal I picked up from Kokuyo. Oya, oya… decisions, decisions," Mukuro sighed dramatically as he parodied the role of a cliché 'damsel in distress'.

"Mukuro-sama, get off him!" Ken was still trying to pull Mukuro back.

Chikusa sighed softly, standing up before he started to peel Ken off from Mukuro as well, "Ken, let Mukuro-sama be."

"Go away Kakipii~!" Ken yelled, not going to give up anytime soon.

Tsuna stared at the scene, not sure whether he felt amused or petrified by the image that looked disturbingly like a foursome to him. "Ah… Gokudera-kun, is it just me or is there something very wrong about this picture?"

"Nah. I see it too," Gokudera said, before he continued, "It's okay, Tsuna, they're just being retarded – as usual." But even as the silvernette said that, he couldn't help but keep on glancing at how Mukuro was leaning his head on Yamamoto's neck, those lips almost touching the baseball player's skin.

_Tch. I didn't even realize they were that close. _Gokudera thought.

At that point, the door of the classroom suddenly slammed open, and in strode the head prefect of Nami High's prefect council. The room dropped to dead silence with his entrance.

"Ah, Hibari!" Yamamoto noticed the Skylark right away and looked up at him, smiling brightly.

Hibari saw the baseball player, before he turned away – hiding the very faint blush on his face.

But he wasn't fast enough for Yamamoto, Gokudera and Mukuro's sharp eyes.

And when Yamamoto's smile widened with that sparkling look in those eyes as he saw that blush, Mukuro immediately worked out the situation.

"Kufufu… oya? What's this?" Mukuro murmured softly, teasingly into Yamamoto's ear, "Is there something special going on between the head prefect and our baseball ace?"

"What?" the word slipped out of Gokudera's mouth even before he thought about it.

"Alright, sophomores, listen up," Reborn stood up at the front of the class, "Hibari Kyouya-senpai is here to collect your medical forms for this expedition, so pass on your forms to the front desk."

The students did as they were told. During this time, Hibari stood there at the front of the class, glaring at Yamamoto. At first the baseball player didn't get it, but then Mukuro – who was still clinging on to him – gave him the answer.

"Oya, oya… I think I'm making someone very jealous with the position we're in, Yamamoto," Mukuro spoke with a smirk.

"Oh! Right…" Yamamoto immediately removed himself from Mukuro, who reluctantly let him go, before the baseball player looked up at Hibari and smiled apologetically. The prefect crossed his arms and looked away.

_Ah, of course. Hibari and Mukuro aren't on very good terms, ne? _Yamamoto thought, remembering the fight between the rebel and the prefect.

"Oi, baseball idiot, what is up with-" Gokudera started, but was interrupted by Mukuro.

"Kufufufu… who would've thought the famous Hibari Kyouya would fall for a sophomore," Mukuro smirked.

"Wait- what?" Gokudera was confused.

"Ehhh? Seriously, Yamamoto?" Tsuna looked at his friend with wide eyes, "Hibari-san and you…"

Yamamoto laughed lightly, shyly scratching the back of his head, "Ah, well… yeah."

Tsuna's eyes grew wider, "Whoa. I never thought-"

"Kufufufu… thought so," Mukuro chuckled.

"Ehh? What? Kakipii, I don't get it~," Ken whined to his best friend. Chikusa sighed before he whispered into Ken's ear, explaining the situation. Ken's eyes were shocked after Chikusa was done, "Whoa, DAMN! I never knew!"

Chikusa nodded at Yamamoto neutrally, "Congrats."

"Ahaha, thanks, Chikusa," Yamamoto smiled.

"Wait! Stop! What the fuck is going on?" Gokudera frowned, looking from Yamamoto to Hibari in confusion. "What's up with the baseball idiot and that prefect?"

"Ah, Gokudera…" Yamamoto smiled lightly before he motioned for Gokudera to lean closer.

Gokudera, for once, did as he was told, and listened as Yamamoto murmured into his ear.

"You remember the crush I was talking about, right?" Yamamoto said, still smiling.

"Yeah," Gokudera nodded – and as he looked at Hibari, it hit him. "Wait. You're not saying-"

"Haha, yeah…" Yamamoto's smile widened, his dark brown eyes warm and sparkling as he turned towards Hibari and spoke the next words, "…it's him."

Gokudera didn't really understand what he felt in that moment. It was like the world around him numbed out for a split second, and all he felt was – nothing. Nothing at all. Empty. Vacuum.

Nothing.

"I see…" Gokudera mumbled, before he moved back and turned towards the front of the class, looking at Hibari.

_So… that's the baseball idiot's boyfriend, huh?_

…

_I see._

* * *

**Namimori High School, 9.23am (Break time)**

"Ahh… so Fran-kun, you're from Italy? Or France? Either way, that's so cool!"

"Oh, Fran! I heard you know Mukuro-sama in the sophomore year?"

"Wow, really? He is _so_ hot! Can you get his number for me?"

Fran sat there on his desk being shot with questions one after another – most of which he didn't even get the time to answer; not that any of them were worth answering anyways. They were the usual, typical questions that were asked repetitively everywhere he went:

Where are you from?

How old are you?

Is your hair color real?

Are you single?

Can I have your number?

You know Mukuro, right?

Can I have his number?

_How I hate being the new kid… _The green haired boy thought, mentally rolling his eyes as the girls around him continued to babble on about nonsense crap that he couldn't care less about.

But as Fran was about to be bored to death, his emerald eyes caught someone walking past the room. In one glance, he knew it was the person who was in the photograph that the Smoking Bomb had given him: Prince the Ripper – Belphegor.

Abruptly, he stood up.

"Ehh? Fran-kun, where are you going?" one of the girls who were surrounding him wanted to know.

Fran glanced at her, before he spoke in monotone, "Somewhere where your voices and conversations can't annoy me and further bring down my intellectual level."

The girls blinked at him, "E-eh? What?"

Fran didn't stop to explain. Instead, he just walked off, heading towards the direction that he saw the blonde prince walking.

However, when Fran actually stood there in the corridor, the prince was nowhere to be seen.

_Hn… I thought I saw him just now. He couldn't have-_

SMACK.

"Ah-!"

Fran felt his skull throb when all of a sudden the closet door on the side of the corridor slammed open and smacked him right on the back of his head.

"VOII! Bel, you moron, you just hit that kid with the door! I told you not to kick it!"

"Ushishishi~. Whatever, Squalo, the prince didn't mean to~."

Fran turned towards the two voices behind him, both of his hands clutching the back of his head.

One of them was a tall, rather slim figure with short, spiky silver hair and blue eyes so pale it was almost grey. His skin was pale, and he was wearing a uniform which identified him as either a junior or a senior.

The other one was no one else but Belphegor – Prince the Ripper himself, and he looked almost exactly identical to the photograph Fran was given. Blonde bangs that covered half of his face, revealing only that freaky smile that reminded Fran of the Cheshire cat. He was also rather tall and lean, with a small tiara hanging lop-sided on his head.

"Voi, kid, your head didn't crack or anything?" Squalo asked.

Fran shook his head, hands still massaging the throbbing area.

"Ushishi, see? He's fine, let's go already~," Bel snickered, beginning to drag Squalo off with him.

But before the prince could leave, Fran reached out and grabbed the back of Bel's shirt. "Wait."

"…ehhh~? What do you want with the prince?" Bel bent backwards and talked to Fran with his head hanging upside down, grinning like a maniac.

Fran leaned his head to one side before he spoke expressionlessly, "You need to take responsibility."

Bel raised his eyebrows before he properly turned around to face Fran this time, "Ushishi… responsibility for what, green head?"

"It's Fran," Fran mono-toned, before he continued, "And you have to take responsibility for hitting me just now."

"Che. Oh really~?" Bel chided in a sing-song voice, letting go of Squalo and moving closer to Fran, "Do you even know who I am, little frog-colored-hair kid?"

"It's Fran," Fran repeated, "And of course I know who you are."

The prince snickered, "Ushishi~ then you should know that I'm-"

"You are a stupid idiotic moron who's pretending to be a prince," Fran stated, his face completely indifferent, "Oh. And by the way – you're failing. Miserably."

Squalo, standing from behind, raised his eyebrows. _Heh. This brat's got some guts._

Bel cocked his head to one side before he smirked maliciously and grabbed Fran by his collar, slamming his against the wall.

SLAM.

"Ushishishi~," the prince snickered, moving his face closer to Fran, murmuring threateningly, "Repeat that. The prince dares you."

Fran looked at Bel right in the eyes, before he spoke in monotone, "You are a stupid idiotic moron who's pretending to-"

SLAM.

"Shut up, frog," Bel hissed, a smile creeping up his lips, "You don't want to mess with Varia's prince."

"Bel, let the brat go – you did hit him first," Squalo spoke from the back.

"Ushishi~ The prince doesn't want to~," Bel replied, the smile stretching on his face. He went back to Fran once again, who stood there indifferently in his place, "Why are you provoking the prince? What do you want, frog?"

"Again, it's Fran," Fran mumbled.

"The prince will call you whatever he damn well pleases to," Bel smiled creepily.

Fran ignored Bel before he spoke, clearly and loudly, "I want to be in Varia."

"…what?" Bel leaned his head to one side before he started snickering manically. He turned to Squalo, "Ushishishi~. Oi, Squalo~, this frog said he wants to join us~. Ushishishi~. What a joke~."

Squalo walked up to both of them before he looked at Fran, "Voi, brat, I don't know what's going on in that tiny skull of yours – but it's not that fucking simple to be one of us."

"I can do it," Fran looked right into Squalo's eyes, "Test me. Audition. Whatever. I can do it."

Squalo looked at those emerald eyes that were fearlessly meeting his own. _Hmm… this kid's got something, alright. He's not intimidated at all… _

"Ushishi~, with a scrawny body like yours? The prince doesn't think so~," Bel poked Fran's ribs.

"You're hardly any better, moron fake prince," Fran simply replied.

Bel's eyebrow twitch before he smirked as he murmured, "You're so gonna get it for saying that, froggy~"

SLAM.

"…eh?" Bel blinked in confusion when what his fist hit wasn't Fran's face, but the wall. Fran had already slipped out of his grasp in that split second and was now standing behind Bel.

And something was in his hand.

"Give me back my crown, frog…" Bel hisses as soon as he saw what Fran was toying with.

"Hm? 'Crown'? Looks more like a fairy princess' tiara," Fran stated.

Bel reached out to snatch it but Fran quickly turned himself and stood behind Squalo. The silvernette just stared at the freshman, amazed.

_This brat really is something. That speed… even faster than Bel's…_

"You give me Varia membership, and I'll give the fake prince back his precious tiara," Fran stated calmly, still toying with the crown in his hand.

_Heh. And he's fucking fearless, I'll give him that._

"Squalo, do something to that fucking frog peasant," Bel spoke, the smile no longer present on his face.

Fran leaned his head to one side, looking at the prince, "Oh, what? The 'great prince' is calling for help?"

Bel stuck his middle finger up at the freshman, who blinked, completely unaffected.

_And he even managed to challenge Bel… That's very rare._

Squalo smirked. He couldn't help but like this kid.

"Voi, alright you babies, stop playing around," Squalo spoke, before he turned to Fran. "Give the trash prince his crown."

Fran looked up at Squalo, "What about my part of the deal?"

"Meet me after school at the rooftop – I'll introduce you to the boss," Squalo said, before he continued, "Got it, brat? Now give Bel his crown."

Satisfied, Fran threw the crown back to Bel who grabbed it and glared viciously at him through his blonde bangs. Fran ignored the prince and walked off, not saying anything else.

"Oi, Squalo~, what the hell? The prince doesn't want that damn frog in Varia!" Bel complained as soon as Fran left.

"Voi! Shut up, trash! You're the one who lost! He kicked your fucking ass," Squalo said, dragging Bel by the back of his collar.

"But the prince doesn't like him~!" Bel whined childishly.

"Whatever. I don't care. Deal with it." Squalo said simply before he continued to drag Bel along the corridor.

"Che," Bel crossed his arms unhappily. Just thinking of Fran being in Varia, constantly annoying him and insulting him pissed him off. That sea foam green hair and those fearless yet emotionless emerald eyes…

_Tch. Damn frog._

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, I'm crappy at updates T^T. I know, I know! I suck, big time. But really, you gotta blame school and all of its freaking exams – not that I'm using that as an excuse. But hey, slow updates are slow, but the chapters are longer than most fics!

So! Fran's finally here! ^_^ Hope you guys are happy about that! And expeditions are coming up in Nami High, and I have big plans for that part! –hint hint- ;)

I'm not gonna promise when the next update will be, but I'll try my best! I really have minimum free time with school life right now T_T

PLEASE REVIEW~! I need motivation to write this fic through my exams and all that crap~ :D


	7. Missing

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **parents' drama, abuse, swearing, and fluff. OH, and emoticons in the actual story – in text messages ;P

**A/N: **Thank you so much for your reviews! I don't have time to reply to them anymore, but you guys should know that every single review means a lot to me ^_^ Lots of 8018 moments in this chappie! OH, and Expeditions are beginning here in Nami High! Be prepared… ;D

As always, lots of appreciation for '**The Shifter Simply Weird' **my beta-reader ;D

* * *

**Streets of Namimori, 4.18pm**

"Wow, really? So you're going to Fujiyoshida?"

"Hn."

"That's awesome! Expeditions are so exciting, ne? Ahaha~."

Yamamoto laughed lightly as he walked down the street, both hands intertwined casually behind his head as he smiled – a little brighter than usual – at the head prefect of Nami High walking right beside him.

After school, Yamamoto went back to the prefect's council, as promised, before he managed to convince the reluctant Skylark to walk home together. The image of Yamamoto walking right beside Hibari shocked the entire school – including Kusakabe who was considered to be the closest possible to the head prefect. Everyone knew how much Hibari disliked crowds and crowding, and yet, there he was, walking almost shoulder to shoulder with the ace baseball player of the school with no signs of complaint.

Making their way down the street towards Hibari's house, the Skylark noted silently to himself that this was the second time someone else other than Kusakabe walked him home – and it was a rather big deal for him.

"You're always excited about everything," Hibari mumbled, observing Yamamoto's optimism.

"Hehe, that's true. But isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

Hibari glanced at Yamamoto, before he looked away, "…how should I know?"

"Do _you_ like it?" Yamamoto leaned closer to Hibari, smiling warmly.

"Tch," Hibari pushed the baseball player's face away from himself, not answering the question. He would never admit how much he enjoyed having the contrast of Yamamoto's cheerfulness in his solemn life.

Yamamoto chuckled before he sighed, then continued to speak, "Well, in a way, expedition this year sucks."

Hibari looked at his kouhai, "I thought you said you were excited about spending time in Okinawa."

"Yeah, that's true, but…" Once again, Yamamoto leaned closer to Hibari, this time almost resting his chin on the prefect's shoulder as he spoke in a sadder tone of voice, "…it sucks that I won't get to see you for one whole week. Especially now as well…"

Hibari's insides warmed up slightly with those words. He spoke, "How is 'now' different than before?"

Yamamoto's mouth curved into a small smile, "I would've missed you a lot before…" He snaked his arm around Hibari's waist – causing the Skylark to jolt slightly in surprise. Yamamoto continued speaking, "…but I'll miss you even more, now that I know I can actually hold you, if you were there."

A tiny blush formed on Hibari's cheeks. "…don't say things like that so easily," he mumbled, though he did not attempt to push Yamamoto's arm away.

"Haha, well, it's true," Yamamoto smiled, securing his arm more firmly around Hibari's small waist. The baseball player felt as though he could almost lift the prefect up and twirl him round and round, seeing how small Hibari was – not that he would dare to. Yamamoto would probably get a rough smack from Hibari's tonfa if he did.

"Hey, Hibari…" Yamamoto started.

Hibari looked up at him, "Hn?"

"Can I call you during the expeditions?" he asked, looking at Hibari with warm eyes.

Truthfully, Hibari didn't really like making phone calls – he'd much rather talk to someone face to face. But then again, he did kind of knew that he would like to hear Yamamoto's voice every now and then during the long expedition week. Thus, Hibari pulled out his mobile and handed it to Yamamoto. "Do whatever you want."

Yamamoto smiled, taking out his own cell phone before he added his number to Hibari's and Hibari's number to his own. Then, he handed the prefect back his phone, before Yamamoto tried test-calling to see whether the numbers worked.

The anthem of Namimori High School immediately rang as Hibari's phone vibrated, the caller's name showing up as a bright smiley face that Hibari thought looked very much like the face of the caller. Yamamoto, recognizing the anthem, couldn't help but smile at Hibari's love and devotion for their school – it was a strangely adorable trait in the Skylark.

"Hahaha, I bet Hibird can sing this song soon," Yamamoto smiled.

Hibari's lips curved into a slightly proud smile, "He already can."

Yamamoto's eyes grew wide, "Whoa, seriously?" Then, he started laughing, "Hahahaha, that's awesome. Hibird's amazing –I don't even know the whole thing yet, hehe."

Hibari's eyes immediately glared at Yamamoto, pulling his body away from the baseball player's arm, "You don't?"

Realizing his mistake, Yamamoto raised his hands up in defense, "Ah, I mean… well, it's a long song and- "

"Hn," Hibari mumbled, turning away and walking slightly faster so that Yamamoto was left behind him.

"Maa, Hibari, I'm sorry~," Yamamoto jogged to catch up with the prefect before he grabbed hold of his hand, smiling brightly at him, "I'll learn it real soon. I promise!"

Hibari turned to look at Yamamoto and was once again, melted by those dark chocolate eyes and that warm, genuine smile. Slowly pulling his hand away, he murmured, "Fine." Then, he started walking again, but this time, at the same pace as Yamamoto, allowing the younger to be close to him once more.

They continued walking together until eventually, the two came to a stop at Hibari's house – and Yamamoto stood there staring.

"Wow. Your house is huge…" Yamamoto murmured as he took in the entire space behind the high walls – the house itself was already three or four times larger than his own, with more traditional, yet sophisticated designs. Then, there was the garden and the large pond with a miniature water fall, numerous white and red colored fish, and a bridge crossing over the water.

"Hn," Hibari nodded, before he walked over to the door and pulled out his key.

Yamamoto knew this was the time to leave, but he didn't want to. It was Friday, and the upcoming week was expeditions – it would be a rather long time before he would get to see Hibari again, and he knew he was going to miss the Skylark badly. Even looking at Hibari now as he stood at the door, Yamamoto felt like pulling Hibari with him and spend just a few more minutes together before he could let him go. The baseball player didn't know how he would be able to deal with not seeing his Skylark for an entire week.

_Ah… I really want to kiss him right now… _Yamamoto sighed.

"I'll see you after expeditions," Hibari turned to say, before he pushed the door open, about to step in.

But then, the door was shut once again when Yamamoto pulled Hibari away for a warm embrace, resting his face in the prefect's smooth, soft hair.

"I'll…miss you. A lot. I really will," Yamamoto murmured. Having Hibari in his arms now, his heart was pumping faster, and he wished he could hold the Skylark like this forever.

_I'm falling for you more and more… _Yamamoto closed his eyes, taking in the faint scent of shampoo from Hibari's hair. It seemed as though the more he knew the prefect and the closer he got to him, the more his feelings grew…and he was unwilling to let go.

Hibari stood still in Yamamoto's arms, not knowing what he was supposed to do. He could feel Yamamoto's warm breath blowing down his neck, those strong arms wrapped around him, holding him so close that he could feel the other's heartbeat – and it was thumping fast. Hearing the words Yamamoto murmured in his ears, Hibari couldn't stop the blush that was already warming up his cheeks.

Realizing that he had held on to Hibari for a little too long now, Yamamoto slowly and reluctantly released the petite form. Hibari was looking up at him, those sharp, dark eyes looking right into his own.

Smiling dryly, Yamamoto murmured in a weak voice, "Sorry. I just…had to." Then, the baseball player gave him a tiny wave before he turned and started walking away.

Hibari was left frustrated. The look in those dark brown eyes just now… they weren't sparkling with joy like they usually do. Instead, they were almost tinged with a bit of sadness – longing for something – and Hibari didn't like that look on Yamamoto at all. He wanted a bright smile to return on that face – but he didn't know how.

But then, something clicked in his mind.

If he wasn't mistaken, maybe what Yamamoto was longing for…was him?

With that thought in mind, Hibari immediately ran after Yamamoto before he pulled Yamamoto's shoulders so that he was facing him.

Yamamoto had a look of surprise on him when he saw who was behind him, "Hibari? Wha-"

His sentence was cut short when Hibari reached up and sealed his lips with his own. It only lasted for the shortest moment, too short for Yamamoto's satisfaction, before Hibari pulled away.

Those deep black eyes looked straight at Yamamoto as Hibari spoke, "Don't walk away if you haven't done everything you wanted to. I'll stop you if you do something I don't like – so just go for it. Don't hide away like a stupid herbivore."

Yamamoto was still rather dazed by Hibari's sudden kiss, "But…I can do that?"

Hibari crossed his arms, "I don't like repeating myself."

With that, Yamamoto's face instantly split into a wide smile before he wrapped his arms around Hibari and held him tight. His affection for Hibari had just grown even more.

After the tight hug, Yamamoto relaxed his arms slightly so that he could view Hibari's face – and he was delighted when he saw that a slight blush decorated those soft cheeks.

Holding the back of Hibari's head with one hand, Yamamoto leaned closer, tilting Hibari slightly, before he captured Skylark's soft lips in a kiss.

Hibari felt the tip of Yamamoto's tongue gliding across his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth slightly, allowing the entrance Yamamoto requested, one arm wrapped around Yamamoto's neck whilst his other hand gripped the younger's shirt. Their tongues met, parted, and then met once more before Yamamoto's lips sucked on the tip of Hibari's tongue, holding it there for a short moment, before he crashed his lips back on Hibari's, plunging deep into that certain sweetness that he couldn't get enough of.

The action caused the Skylark to emit a muffled moan, and yet another, when Yamamoto tilted Hibari's head back further and deepened the kiss, Hibari's hands gripping tighter on Yamamoto's shirt.

_How many times have we kissed? _Hibari wondered in the midst of breath and lips, before realizing that he had already lost count – and their first kiss was only two days ago.

_He's getting better at it every time… _The Skylark thought as he let out another tiny moan onto Yamamoto's lips.

After a few more passionate, deep kisses, Yamamoto pulled back, both of them panting, their cheeks brushed with a tinge of red. The younger looked at the prefect and smiled softly before he pressed a tender kiss on Hibari's cheek, his hands moving to brush the hair away from the Skylark's face.

"I'll miss this as well…" Yamamoto whispered with a smile, arms still holding Hibari close to him.

Hibari diverted his gaze, unable meet those dark brown eyes any longer. The prefect couldn't even tell how much he was blushing anymore.

Then, all of a sudden, the intimate moment between the two was interrupted by a little cough from the background. Both Hibari and Yamamoto turned towards the source of the noise, and their eyes widened when they saw Kusakabe standing by the door of Hibari's house, looking as awkward as ever. It didn't matter whether he had seen what had been going on just a moment ago or not, because he would've clearly understood either way. Both Yamamoto's and Hibari's lips were kiss-swollen, their faces flushed, and they were in a position where Hibari was wrapped up close against Yamamoto, their faces only centimeters apart – it didn't take a genius to guess what had just passed between them.

The two awkwardly separated themselves to a more appropriate position, Yamamoto smiling sheepishly and Hibari blushing so fiercely he could almost feel his face boiling.

Kusakabe had a slight blush on his cheeks himself as he informed Hibari, "Ah… Kyou-san. I was just coming out to check whether you had returned."

Hibari nodded, and avoided Kusakabe's eyes, before he turned towards Yamamoto and mumbled, cheeks still tinted red, "…I should probably go in now."

Yamamoto murmured in agreement, "Yeah. You should go." He then turned towards Kusakabe and smiled apologetically, "Sorry for holding him back."

Kusakabe nodded silently, still trying to take in the relationship between Hibari and this baseball player.

"I'll see you later then," Yamamoto smiled at Hibari.

"Hn," Hibari mumbled softly before he turned and walked into the house, his face still hot from the kiss.

Kusakabe watched Hibari enter the house before he turned and glanced at Yamamoto, nodded, and then followed Hibari inside, shutting the door behind him.

Yamamoto watched until the door shut before he started heading back home as well, the awkwardness of the situation still eating at him.

But then, he thought back to the kiss he had with Hibari, and his face bloomed into a wide smile.

_Ah… I'm seriously gonna miss him so much now…_

* * *

"Kyou-san."

"Hn?"

"Not to intrude on your personal life but… should I assume that you and Yamamoto Takeshi are in a relationship?"

"…I think you know what you saw just now, Kusakabe. You decide what you make of it." Hibari mumbled as he lay on the sofa, gently petting Hibird's head. The Skylark had cooled down a bit now after he had been in the house, no longer blushing madly, his heartbeat returning to its normal pace.

Kusakabe watched the head prefect with concern. He had known Hibari from since he was young, and he couldn't help but worry for the Skylark.

Apart from being the school's deputy head prefect, Kusakabe also served the Hibari clan – a tradition continued from the ancestors of his family line. He had been assigned to look after the only son of the main Hibari family, and after years of observation, he knew the young Hibari rather well.

Kusakabe had gone through the phases of Hibari's life with him. He entered school with him even though he was older, saw him go through the death of his beloved mother, took care of him during his rebellious, violent phase, saw him deal with his father's unaccepted remarriage, and most recently – saw him fall in and out of love.

Kusakabe knew what it was like when Hibari was broken – and he didn't want to see his young master be in that state again, no matter what the reason was.

And that boy just now…Yamamoto Takeshi. Just one glance at the two of them and Kusakabe could tell that what they had was the beginning of something that had happened before. This wasn't just something Hibari was playing around with – this was real for him, and that meant potential danger. But even if Kusakabe wanted to hold Hibari back, there was no chance. Judging from what he saw just now, the Skylark had already chosen, and Hibari wasn't one to let anybody change his decision.

But right now, Hibari's relationship with Yamamoto Takeshi was only a minor concern – there was another problem going on with Hibari's life – an ongoing, continuous problem.

"Kyou-san, you do remember that Kaien-sama is returning here in an hour or so?" Kusakabe reminded his young master.

Almost immediately, Hibari sat up, turning to look at Kusakabe, "What?"

"Kaien-sama has returned from his business trip – his plane had just landed a few minutes ago," Kusakabe informed.

"So he's coming here?" Hibari asked, frowning.

Kusakabe nodded, "Yes, with your step-mother, Aiya-"

"She's _not_ my mother. I have only one mother," Hibari glared.

"My apologies, Kyou-san. Kaien-sama is going to arrive with Aiyana-san soon, and your father expects you to have dinner with him."

"If he expects me to eat nicely with her, he has another fucking thing coming," Hibari muttered.

"I don't know about that, Kyou-san, but first, I suggest you should get out of your uniform."

"Tch, fine." Hibari harshly pulled off his school jacket before he threw it on the floor and walked off to the bathroom.

Kusakabe, watching Hibari's reaction to the news, sighed. Tonight was going to be troublesome – any occasion where the master of the Hibari Clan, Hibari Kaien, met with his son, Hibari Kyouya, never resulted to any positive outcome, and it had been this way ever since Kaien remarried.

* * *

"So you're still the head prefect of your school, Kyouya?"

"Hn."

"Good. Having that will give you a good reputation for your school years. What about your grades? Are you still scoring top marks for all of your subjects?"

"Yes."

"Make sure you have no distractions, Kyouya. You are the only son of the Hibari Clan – I will not accept any embarrassments."

"…"

Hibari remained silent. He didn't want to reply. His relationship with his father had been bad ever since the death of his mother, and since his father remarried, it got even worse. His father was never home, always on business trips, and they hardly ever talked. The two didn't even act like father and son around each other anymore – Kaien treating his son like a business partner or a work project rather than his only child.

"Kaien-sama, please, don't be too harsh on him. He's still just a high-school kid," Aiyana murmured softly, resting her hand on her husband's arm. She had naturally light brown hair and eyes – different from Kyouya's mother who had pitch black hair and eyes, just like his father and him.

Kyouya frowned. _I don't need your fucking help._

"Nonsense. When I was in high school I was on the top with absolutely no flaws on my record. Kyouya here, in contrast, I have heard, has quite a reputation for fighting on school grounds – now isn't that right, son? Such a good image for our clan, isn't it?" Kaien raised his eyebrows at his son, the sarcasm dripping from his tone of voice.

"I'm enforcing the school rules," Kyouya muttered.

"Oh? Is that so? Then make it clear to other people. I don't want anyone thinking that you're involved in that color gang warfare going on. Nothing should be tainting your report, you hear me? Not a single thing." Kaien emphasized his point.

Hibari mentally rolled his eyes. _As if you haven't drilled it into me already._

Kusakabe walked in at that point, handing the young Hibari his mobile, murmuring, "Someone sent a message."

The Skylark looked at his phone, before the permanent frown on his face relaxed a little when he saw the sender of a text.

[:D]

It was a smiley face.

_Yamamoto._

Opening the text, Hibari couldn't help but be amused at the content inside that sounded just like the sender in real life.

[Hope I didn't get you in trouble with Kusakabe! xD. That was really bad timing, ne? Hahaha :D.]

Typing quickly, Hibari sent back a message.

[No. He's fine. You're home?]

Almost immediately the phone vibrated again as another message arrived.

[Yup :D. Wow, didn't think you'd reply! Haha xD. What are you doing?]

Hibari typed back a reply.

[Eating. Bored.]

A message sent back almost as quickly as before.

[Oh, am I disturbing you? Sorry! D:]

Another message sent.

[No. Keep talking.]

Another message received.

[Hahaha, okay then! :D. I really wanna call you, but I'm not sure if you're busy or not.]

For once, Hibari did feel like he wanted to talk to someone over the phone – but right now wasn't the time.

[Not now.]

Another message received.

[It's fine if you don't like calling – I'll just keep sending you texts! xD.]

Hibari couldn't help but smile a little. Yamamoto really was a kind of guy that spread his happiness around like a contamination.

Hibari sent back a message.

[No. Call later. I want to hear you.]

This time, the reply message took more time before it came back.

[…saying things like that, are you trying to get me to run back to your house and steal you? xD.]

Hibari leaned his head to one side before he replied back.

[Maybe.]

The phone vibrated again, and this time, the text inside made a blush creep up Hibari's cheeks.

[…damn. Now I seriously want to kiss you.]

Then, unexpectedly, the phone vibrated once more before Hibari could even figure out how to reply to the last one.

[Gotta go eat dinner now! :D …I'll call you around 10?]

Hibari would be in his room by then, so he typed his reply.

[That's fine.]

The Skylark thought there would be no replies after that, but then, the phone vibrated once more.

[…miss you already.]

Hibari felt something twinge inside his chest with that message, and he stared at it for a little while longer before he locked his phone and handed it back to Kusakabe.

As though being brought back to reality, Kaien spoke up as soon as Kusakabe exited the room, "Who was that?"

The frown – erased by Yamamoto just now – slowly returned to Hibari's face, "Person from school."

"I thought you didn't socialize with anyone at school," Kaien narrowed his eyes.

"Like everything, there are exceptions. You're the one who taught me that," Kyouya retorted.

"It's not a girl is it?" Kaien looked at him searchingly.

Aiyana giggled next to Kaien, "Oh~, what's wrong with him talking to girls? I bet Kyouya-kun is very popular!"

The Hibari son felt like scoffing. As if he would ever be making any conversation to any of the obnoxious, loud, stupid and weak girls in his school. "No. Not a girl."

Kaien nodded approvingly, "Good. That's good. Because it would be troublesome if some random girl messed up my plans for you."

Kyouya frowned deeper. _Great. More plans to make me your perfect robot._

"I'm setting you on an omiai with the daughter of a very successful Chinese businessman I happen to know – she's fluent in Japanese as well so you two will get along just fine," Kaien said.

Immediately, Kyouya objected, "No."

Kaien raised his eyebrows, "What did you say?"

"I'm not going. I'm not getting married anytime soon." _And definitely not to some random daughter of some rich family you are pairing me up with._

"I'm not saying you have to get married, I just want you two to get to know each other," Kaien argued.

"Tch. As if you wouldn't force me to marry her in the end if it would benefit you. That's all you ever care about," Kyouya muttered.

"You do _not_ speak to me like that, son," Kaien raised his voice.

Kyouya wasn't going to give in, "Why shouldn't I? You don't treat me like your son anyways, why should I treat you like my father?"

"Kyouya-kun, calm down," Aiyana reached out to grab Kyouya's arm.

"Don't _touch_ me," he jerked his arm away immediately, his face showing disgust.

"Oi! Don't you dare act like that, Kyouya!" Kaien was shouting now.

Kyouya stood up looking right at Kaien's face, as he spoke clearly and calmly, glaring right into his father's eyes, "You can't tell me what to do."

With that, Kyouya reached for the closest glass of water and threw it on Aiyana's face before he carelessly dropped the glass to the floor, hearing it shatter satisfyingly as he walked out of the room.

"Kyouya! Come back here and apologize right now!" Kaien shouted after his son, "Kyouya!"

"…Kaien-san, there's no use. He's at the age where you have to let him go," Aiyana murmured, calmly wiping her face with a towel. "And it's only natural for him to hate me. He thinks I'm trying to replace his mother after all…"

"No. I can't just let him go. I must punish him. He has to learn from his mistakes. I never brought him up this way…" Kaien muttered angrily as he helped Aiyana wipe off.

Aiyana sighed, not knowing how to explain it to her lover.

* * *

**Sunday, 8.59pm**

"Hayato… where are you, you fucking useless brat? I know you're back here!"

Gokudera could hear his dad slurring from outside of his bedroom, and immediately, he picked up Uri and hid the cat beneath his bed, hiding it from view with the large bag he was packing for expedition.

_Fuck it. I was just nearly done. _

BANG. BANG.

"Oi, you motherfucker, I know you're in there! Open the fucking door!" Chisato yelled from the outside, banging the door with an empty bottle of whiskey, "Open, asshole! Don't fucking think you can hide from me! I'm not a bloody retard like you!"

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG-

"What? What do you want now?" Gokudera opened the door before it could break, being met with the familiar stench of alcohol, sweat and smoke from his father.

Chisato swayed into his room, pushing Gokudera out of the way as he looked around. Seeing the large bag and the piles of clothing, Chisato immediately turned to face Gokudera, pushing his son against the wall, "Ehhh? What's this? You're packing to go somewhere, dipshit?"

Gokudera flinched away from the breath blowing on his face, "School's expedition. What do you think?"

"Oh really? You're not thinking of running away like your sister are you?" Chisato slurred at him, nudging his face with the dirty bottle in his hand. Droplets of whiskey stuck to Gokudera's face.

"If I thought of doing that I would've done it long ago," Gokudera muttered, trying to lean away from the bottle.

Chisato tapped Gokudera's cheek with the glass, "Ah. That's right. You can't go anywhere because nobody wants you, right, Hayato? Nobody wants a life-ruining retard like you around."

Gokudera scoffed, "Huh. As if you have anyone who would take you eith-"

BANG.

Chisato slammed the bottle onto the wall right next to Gokudera's head. "I didn't ask for your opinion, fucktard," he murmured.

Gokudera kept quiet after that. It was never a good idea to speak up when Chisato had some sort of potential weapon in his hand – Gokudera learnt that the hard way.

"Now, where have you been in the past few days, huh?"

"With Dynamite," he muttered.

"Ugh. Disgusting. That disgusting gang. You really are low down aren't you, Hayato? You're a fucking life destroyer and now you have to group up with the other low downs that no one accepts. You people who nobody cares about. Trashes of society…" Chisato mumbled.

Gokudera didn't even bother to reply. He didn't even bother to listen.

"Are you fucking listening to me, you lowlife?" Chisato grabbed Gokudera's collar and pushed his against the wall.

"I'm listening," Gokudera choked, feeling his father's knuckles pushing into his throat.

"What? I can't hear you. You've got a throat problem or something?" Chisato smirked before he adjusted his hand so that now it was fully squeezing Gokudera's neck, cutting off his air pathway.

Seeing Gokudera struggle and writhe as his face blanched pale with the lack of air, Chisato laughed. And just before Gokudera was about to pass out, Chisato threw him towards the floor, Gokudera's head banging with the bed post. The silvernette coughed continuously, lifting his hands to clutch his throat, gasping for air, his head throbbing from the recent collision.

Not allowing anytime for Gokudera to recover, Chisato swayed over and stepped on Gokudera's head, pushing his face into the floor, making it even harder for Gokudera to breathe.

"Remember Hayato. No matter where you run, you won't escape the fact that you're nothing. And it's your own damn fault," Chisato muttered before he removed his feet from Gokudera's head, and kicked his head against the bed post.

BANG.

The sheer force caused Gokudera's entire skull to throb in pain. It felt as though his head was about to crack open.

"That's what you get for ruining my life, asshole," Chisato slurred before he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving Gokudera on the floor, clutching his head.

"Unh- fuck…" He croaked and tears leaked from his emerald eyes as the headache attacked him, his lips along with parts of his cheek bleeding and stinging from being scraped against the floor.

He didn't cry just because it hurt and he didn't cry because of his father's hateful words. But he was crying because he was so frustrated. The hatred he has for his father kept on growing and growing each time he was abused and insulted – but it was never enough for him to actually fight back.

Gokudera wasn't a weakling. If he had tried, he would've been able to injure Chisato pretty badly and escape from his daily torments in this hell hole – but he couldn't. When Chisato had choked him, he could've easily removed his hand and break his father's wrist – but he couldn't. He couldn't hurt him, and he couldn't leave either. He just couldn't.

Maybe it was because there was still that tiny part of him that wished that one day his father would return to the 'dad' he knew and loved – that pitiful part of him that even he hated for existing – if that hope would've just broken down altogether he wouldn't have hesitated to fight back against Chisato.

But no matter how much he tried, Gokudera still hoped. He couldn't get rid of that desire to get his 'dad' back. The 'dad' who loved him, took care of him… Gokudera couldn't stop himself from wanting that long-lost love.

After all, Chisato was his father, and family ties just can't be cut off that easily.

So he lay there, clutching his head, crying soundlessly in anger and pain, feeling stupid and useless – everything his father said he was. Uri, noticing its master's suffering, crawled out from under the bed and curled up next to him, licking Gokudera's hand with its rough tongue.

But nothing he had then could've made it any better. Nothing at all.

* * *

**Namimori High School, 7.12am**

"What the fuck is _he_ doing there?" Mukuro glared at a certain white-haired figure standing beside one of the buses in the parking lot for the sophomore's expedition.

Tsuna looked at the direction Mukuro was glaring at before he spoke, "Ah… I guess Headmaster Byakuran will be joining us on our expedition. He chooses to join one every year, ne?"

"What? _No._ This is a bloody joke. I can't have him come on our fucking expedition!" Mukuro complained, furrowing his eyebrows.

"…is there something wrong, Mukuro-nii?" Chrome, Mukuro's twin sister, walked up to her frustrated brother.

As soon as Chrome approached, Mukuro changed his expression completely, immediately wearing his mysterious smile on his face, "Kufufu… of course not, my cute sister. You are going to enjoy this expedition. It's _perfect_." The last word was glossed with sarcasm as Mukuro's mismatched eyes glared at Byakuran, but Chrome didn't catch any of it.

"I'm glad… this is the first time I'm able to participate in an external school activity," Chrome smiled lightly and Mukuro ruffled her hair in adoration. The girl had always spent most of her time in hospital because of her unhealthy condition – it was incredibly lucky that her health improved enough to come along on her sophomore's and first ever expedition.

"Isn't it great? Even Chrome managed to make it to expeditions this year!" Yamamoto smiled brightly, looking more refreshed than ever.

"Blehhhh! It's not great at all!" Ken immediately cut in, his arms clutching a large package of food, "She keeps on stealing Mukuro-sama away because she needs 'protection'. Che, if you need so much protection then just stay at the hospital!"

"Too loud, Ken. Mukuro-sama could hear you just now," Chikusa warned his friend.

"Tch. I don't care. He knows I hate his sister," Ken mumbled.

"He doesn't like it, though. And you don't hate her, you're just jealous of her for getting Mukuro-sama's attention," Chikusa spoke expressionlessly.

"Shut up kakipii! Stop acting like you know everything!" Ken childishly threw a pack of crisps at Chikusa head. Chikusa just sighed before he simply picked the pack up and stuffed it back into Ken's large package.

"Hahaha, what about you, Chikusa? Do you like Chrome, then?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

"Hmmm…" Chikusa considered it, before he looked up at Yamamoto once again, "I don't think much of her. As long as she doesn't cause much trouble to Mukuro-sama then I don't really care."

"Ahaha, that's just like you I guess," Yamamoto smiled.

"But I think it's good that she's able to come. Kyoko and Haru are really excited to room with her," Tsuna added.

"Ahh right! Those girls are really close, ne?" Yamamoto remembered.

"Yeah… so it's good for them, and Mukuro also gets to be with his twin for once," Tsuna said before he leaned closer to Yamamoto and whispered, "Though I don't get why Mukuro has such a problem with the Headmaster. He seems to be nice and friendly, ne?"

Immediately the image of Byakuran passionately kissing Mukuro on the sofa in the office came back to Yamamoto, but he shook it away. It wasn't his story to tell. "I don't know… maybe because he's a rebel so the Head might pick on him a lot?"

"Hmm… maybe. But I still feel like there's something more…" Tsuna pondered.

Yamamoto smiled sheepishly. _Sometimes Tsuna has such a good intuition it's scary…_

Intending to change the subject, Yamamoto looked around before he noticed something, "Hey, wait, where's Gokudera?"

"Oh, I haven't seen him yet either. He should be here pretty soon though, he called me when he left Lancia's house…" Tsuna mumbled.

"Lancia?" Yamamoto raised his eyebrows.

"Ah, he's the leader of Gokudera's color gang. He's cool – but a bit scary I guess," Tsuna explained.

"Haha, I see, well he is the leader so he should be scary, ne? I mean, look at Xanxus…" Yamamoto said, before his eyes drifted across a certain silvernette. "Oh! There's Gokudera!" Yamamoto said, pointing at the figure making his way through the crowd.

As he got closer and eventually broke through the large group of people, both Yamamoto and Tsuna noticed that there were a lot of bandages of Gokudera's face - one on the corner of his lips and three on other areas of his face. The silvernette also looked particularly worn out as he lazily dragged his luggage towards the others, his hair and clothes messy, the skull-screened black t-shirt crumply and the studded belt that wrapped across his faded jeans hanging loose.

"Ah, morning Gokudera-kun… you look tired," Tsuna observed.

"Mm. Didn't sleep much last night," Gokudera mumbled, pushing his hair back from his face as he sighed.

"You've got more bandages again…" Yamamoto said, looking concerned.

Gokudera quickly brushed him off, "Gang stuff. The usual. I wasn't concentrating enough."

Tsuna frowned, "You really should be more careful, Gokudera-kun… we're worried about you."

"I know," Gokudera nodded, "But I'm fine really…I'll just practice more for next time."

Yamamoto kept on looking at Gokudera searchingly – somehow, he felt like 'practicing' wasn't going to help Gokudera.

Seeing him staring, those emerald eyes avoided meeting Yamamoto's, and the baseball player was even more unconvinced in Gokudera's story - especially when he noticed red marks around Gokudera's pale neck. It would've been less worrying if the marks were love bites or something of the sort. But instead, they were lines… finger marks.

Yamamoto rolled in his lips. _That's definitely not normal…_

"Stop staring, baseball idiot," Gokudera muttered, lifting up one hand to push Yamamoto's face. The silvernette felt uncomfortable with those dark brown eyes fixated on him, trying to see through him – and he didn't like his mask being broken, especially not today when his insides were still raw and weak.

Yamamoto leaned his head to one side, still looking intently at Gokudera, trying to meet those emerald eyes, "…you sure you're okay?"

Gokudera refused to meet Yamamoto's eyes, turning his head away, muttering, "I said I'm fine."

Yamamoto was still unconvinced, but he didn't want to push it any further. Instead, he casually wrapped his arm around Gokudera's shoulders and squeezed it gently as a way of comforting the other.

Gokudera stiffened. It felt awkward to be comforted, but he didn't complain. Yamamoto's arm felt warm and stable, securing him who on the inside was so unsteady. And it was…nice, for a change.

Yamamoto was actually surprised that Gokudera didn't push him away, and he smiled at the silvernette, lifting his fingers to toy with the tip of a strand of Gokudera's hair resting on his slim shoulders.

Looking up right at that moment, and meeting Yamamoto's eyes, Gokudera was captured – caught in that smile. A smile so full of true happiness and good-will, coming out directly from the heart…and looking into those dark chocolate eyes, Gokudera realized Yamamoto directly touched something within him. Just taking in that smile in that moment, it was as though everything was going to be alright, and there was a bright pathway ahead of him.

Once again, something flipped inside Gokudera – and he wasn't sure whether it was a good thing.

"Wow… it's weird seeing the prefects out of their uniform, ne?" Tsuna suddenly spoke when he saw a group of older students walking towards their own bus.

Yamamoto looked up when he heard the brown haired boy, before his face brightened when he saw the person he was looking for.

Across the parking lot, Hibari Kyouya stood amongst the other prefects around him. They were all in normal clothing – Hibari wearing a plain, loose white v-neck t-shirt with dark gray jeans.

"Ah… wait here a sec," Yamamoto murmured, letting go of Gokudera.

Feeling Yamamoto's arm leave him, Gokudera suddenly felt slightly empty as he watched Yamamoto jog towards the prefect's group.

Looking from the distance, Tsuna and Gokudera saw Yamamoto talking to Hibari, before all of a sudden the baseball player wrapped his arms around the prefect and pulled him in for a hug. Hibari stared wide-eyed for a second before he started pushing Yamamoto away, whilst Yamamoto just laughed and opted for hugging Hibari from the back instead. The prefect crossed his arms, frowning, but complained no more, allowing Yamamoto to embrace him; a wide smile spread across the younger's face.

"They really do like each other, don't they?" Tsuna smiled as he watched the two, "Normally Hibari-san would've already beaten up anyone who came that close to him."

Gokudera stood there watching silently as Yamamoto leaned over and sneaked a tiny kiss on Hibari's ear, earning an elbow to the face from the head prefect – who was blushing nonetheless.

Turning away from the image, Gokudera mumbled, "Yeah. I guess."

Gokudera didn't understand why he felt worse seeing Yamamoto and Hibari together – but he knew one thing for certain.

That smile – that brilliant, true smile of Yamamoto…it wasn't reserved for only him.

And that fact completely erased every good feeling he had just a moment ago.

* * *

**A/N: **Agh. So much drama going on in this chapter =_= I enjoyed writing the fluff at the beginning much more. It's either all-out suicidal for me, or fluff or smut. This middle-way stress, especially with the parents, is exhaustinggg~ T^T

Oh well! Next chapter will be packed tight with a whole LOAD of stuff I've wanted to write for some time now – so writing the Nami High expeditions will be a lot much fun for me! :D hehehe~

Soooo, as always, please review! :D I know I don't reply to them anymore now because I just don't have the time, but I really do appreciate each and every one of them! –cuddles- ;D


	8. Walls

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing. ;)

'**The Shifter Simply Weird' **my beta-reader, I know I'm sucky at updates, but THANK YOU for dealing with this writer~ ^_^ -cuddles-

* * *

**On the bus, 7.02 am**

"…and then the damn boss just had to pair the prince up with that frog! He says that our fighting styles match or something. Che. Match, my ass! Nobody's skills can match up to the prince's! Especially not that damn frog!"

"Ahaha, maa maa, I guess you could always swap partners with someone, right?"

"Tch. The prince wouldn't be complaining so much if that was the case. But in Varia, if boss says something, it's permanent – unless he changes his mind himself."

"Ah. I see, I see…then what about your old partner?"

"Mammon's coupled with Luss. She's pissed, big time. Ushishi~. Maybe that's one good thing about this new pairing. The prince is very amused by that couple," Bel smiled widely, the corner of his lips stretching almost from one side of his face to the other.

Yamamoto, sitting next to Bel, smiled sheepishly – just laughing, nodding, and going with whatever Bel said. After all, arguing with Bel was probably not the best thing to do – especially when the prince was sitting right beside him, and he knew full well that Bel had no problem at all with slashing people when he had the desire to.

Yamamoto ended up sitting next to Bel because he was the last to come on the bus – delayed by talking to Hibari for too long – and the only empty seat left was beside Bel. Gokudera was sitting with Tsuna, Mukuro with his twin sister Chrome, and Ken with Chikusa. Thus, Yamamoto just smiled and sat himself comfortably next to Bel – who other people, naturally, avoided sitting with. Unlike others, the baseball player had no problem with the prince. He could literally socialize with almost anyone anyways, so sitting next to Bel was no big deal.

"…and that day, the prince was target practicing with his knives, and it hit Froggy right in the back! Ushishishi~. Too bad the damn frog was wearing protection, though…" Bel kept going on, snickering and grinning as he spouted his stories endlessly.

"Hahaha…" Yamamoto laughed, though a little uncertainly. He wasn't sure how someone being stabbed by a knife could be entertaining – but Bel found it funny, so once again, Yamamoto just went with the prince's flow.

_Should he even be telling me this? This is mostly info about the Varia, isn't it? _Yamamoto wondered as he continued to talk to Bel – listening only sometimes, other times just smiling and nodding for the sake of it.

From time to time, Yamamoto glanced at Gokudera who was sitting on the other side of the bus in the same row with Tsuna. The silvernette was looking out of the window, ears covered with large black skull headphones, cutting himself off from everyone else on the bus – Tsuna peacefully sleeping and drooling next to him.

Looking from Yamamoto's angle, the finger marks on Gokudera's neck could be seen even clearer now with Gokudera's head turned to the side – the marks so obvious to him that Yamamoto wondered why nobody else noticed it.

_Or am I just thinking too much about the marks? _Yamamoto pondered, before he shook his head. _No. They're definitely finger marks. Which meant that someone must've…strangled him?_

The thought sent chills down Yamamoto's spine and his heart felt as though it had been snatched to his ankles. It was a sick gut feeling, and Yamamoto didn't like it at all.

It was one thing for Gokudera to fight and get injuries. But it was another story altogether for Gokudera to be potentially killed.

"…so Froggy was like, 'you're a fake prince' – and the prince got mad, so he banged the frog's head on the table, ushishi~. Oh! And that day, Froggy-"

"Bel." Yamamoto suddenly turned towards Bel – who was still going on even though he knew Yamamoto wasn't listening – and looked at him with a serious expression.

Bel cocked his head to one side, intrigued by the rare emotion shown on Yamamoto's face, "Yes?"

"You know how you're in Varia and Gokudera's in Dynamite…" Yamamoto started.

"Eh? You mean Smoking Bomb?" Bel motioned towards the silvernette. Yamamoto nodded. Bel smiled, "Ushishi~, he's my official enemy. He and the prince usually fight each other when Varia and Dynamite battle or when we meet each other whilst wearing our colors."

"I see…" Yamamoto murmured thoughtfully, "…can you tell me how far these battles go?"

Bel's smile widened, "As far as it gets. Ushishishi~."

_That doesn't sound very good. _Yamamoto thought, frowning, before he continued to ask Bel, "And do you always fight with weapons?"

"Hmm~, well, the prince always uses knives and wires – but not everyone is as talented, of course, ushishi~" Bel snickered, before he continued, "Most of the time, we use weapons, but we do punch and kick. Anything to bring down the opponent really~."

Yamamoto nodded. _So it could be that someone from another gang strangled him…_

_ But do they really go that far? They would really try to kill the other person? _

"Why are you asking the prince this anyways? You wanna join a gang?" Bel wanted to know, smiling widely.

"Me? Ahaha, no, that's not it," Yamamoto shook his head, laughing, "I'm just curious, that's all."

"Ushishi~, really? That's a shame. The prince wouldn't mind having you in Varia," Bel said, grinning for ear to ear, "We've seen you move when you play baseball. Squalo said that if you get some training with him you'd be really good~. And you're one of the better peasants, so the prince is fine with that~."

"Hahaha, thanks, Bel, but no," Yamamoto shook his head, smiling politely, "I'd rather just play baseball."

"Ushishishi~, too bad~," Bel snickered, before he moved on to another subject and started talking about a certain 'froggy' once again.

During this time Yamamoto thought back to the finger marks on Gokudera's neck – still unable to let go of the topic. Something just didn't sit right with the 'it's just another injury from gang warfare' explanation. The look in Gokudera's eyes, the tiredness…Yamamoto could sense that there was something more to it – something deeper than the silvernette was willing to admit.

_If it's not about the color gangs, then_ _who could have done that to Gokudera…? Someone that he wouldn't want us to know of as well…_

Yamamoto sat there thinking, but he just didn't know enough about Gokudera to figure out the answer; the realization only increasing his interest in the silvernette.

* * *

**On the bus, 7.32 am**

'_Nobody wants a life-ruining retard like you around.'_

'_You really are low down aren't you, Hayato?'_

'…_you're nothing. And it's your own damn fault.' _

_ 'That's what you get for ruining my life, asshole.'_

The words kept repeating themselves over and over in Gokudera's head as if they were haunting him – the memory of his father clinging to him, not letting him forget for a moment what sort of hell he would have to face after his return from the expedition. Even with the music on at full volume through his headphones, it couldn't mute away the ringing voice of his father.

Gokudera's head was heavy from tension and lack of sleep, his muscles tight and worn out at the same time. His skull was throbbing, begging for some rest…and yet every time he was about to doze off, his father's voice would come smacking right at him, shocking him out of his dreams only to wake him up into a nightmare.

_Damn. I really need a cigarette. _Gokudera thought, rolling in his lips – missing the feeling of having a tobacco stick in between. He yearned for the relaxation from the smoke, the ability of it to calm him down.

Lifting his forehead from the window and quickly snapping his head side to side to hear the satisfying 'crack', Gokudera noticed someone at the corner of his eyes, and he couldn't help himself but glance at the person.

That guy who managed to make him put out a cigarette, the one who took care of him as a stranger and as a friend, the one who called him 'pretty', the one who had a smile that seemed to light up the entire world…Yamamoto Takeshi.

Yamamoto was smiling and chuckling beside Bel as the prince blabbered on about random nonsense, and even though Gokudera could tell Yamamoto was only half-listening to what Bel was saying, not once did that genuine smile disappear from the baseball player's face. He was just the type of guy who was unnecessarily 'nice' to everyone, doing favors, laughing at the lamest jokes, helping out with everything he could…not once did Gokudera witness Yamamoto hurting another person's feelings, both intentionally and unintentionally.

He was so different from everyone else Gokudera had ever known – with the tiny exception of Tsuna. But then again, Gokudera knew Tsuna from since childhood, and he was used to Tsuna's ways and how the boy acted. But Yamamoto… on Gokudera's canvas of black, blood red, dirty green, and purple, Yamamoto would be like a patch of bright, clean empty space – untouched by the paint, contrasting with everything surrounding it.

Gokudera had known this from since the beginning. Yamamoto was different from him – they lived in different worlds, and that was why Gokudera was shaken by the baseball player's entrance into his dark, violence-filled life.

But now, Gokudera had also learnt something else: Yamamoto's optimism was not exclusive. The guy spread his smile and laughter towards everyone – creating that bright, clean patch on everyone's canvas…and Gokudera wasn't sure how he felt about that.

It felt…strange, he supposed, to realize that something which he thought was 'his', actually belonged to 'everyone'. Not that he ever thought that Yamamoto was his own, but somehow, he always had that feeling that Yamamoto's attention and care was more focused on him than anyone else. Now understanding that this was not the case made Gokudera feel sort of…blank. Empty.

He had thought that he was different to Yamamoto – 'special', even. It was weird, because before, that thought didn't hold any importance to him. He didn't care what Yamamoto thought of him. He was annoyed, even, that the baseball player kept giving him excess attention. But now that he realized Yamamoto treated everybody that very same way…it was a bit of a shock. A wake up call.

Hibari Kyouya was the real deal – the one that was truly special to Yamamoto.

Not him.

_I'm not as important as I thought I was…_Gokudera wasn't saddened by the new understanding; instead, he felt hollow. Words from his father came back to him once again…

'…_you're nothing. And it's your own damn fault.'_

Gokudera wasn't sure whether his father was right. He knew those words were just spoken to bring him down, but…_what if he was right?_

The silvernette shook his head to rid himself of the thought. This situation should not be having any effect on him – he had lived alone all his life without getting special attention from anybody, and he could still live with it. Yes, of course he could. He's _the_ Smoking Bomb, Gokudera freaking Hayato of Dynamite. He didn't care about what other people did and what they thought of him, no way. No. Fucking. Way.

…and yet, when the image of Yamamoto hugging Hibari came to his mind – with a smile much brighter than he ever saw, those eyes sparkling much more than usual…

Gokudera couldn't help but frown.

* * *

**Okinawa, 1.03 pm**

"Seriously, why am I grouped with you guys and not Tsuna?"

"Ahaha, it's already decided by Reborn-sensei, so we don't really have a choice, ne?"

"Tch. And now we have to go on a stupid treasure hunt in the middle of the fucking burning sunlight."

"Maa maa, if we complete it soon then we'll be out of the sun."

"Still sucks. What is the point of this shit anyways?"

"Kufufu…well, if Smoking Bomb would just stop complaining, then we could finally get this 'shit' over with. Wouldn't you agree, Chikusa?"

"Yes."

"Che," Gokudera rolled his eyes, kicking the sand as he walked, completely unhappy about the situation he was in.

After sorting out bedrooms, getting changed and having lunch, the sophomore students of Nami High were put into different groups to play treasure hunt on the beach – some groups mixed, and some groups with only boys or girls – the activity aiming to develop teamwork, friendship and strategy skills.

Gokudera was grouped with Yamamoto, Mukuro and Chikusa, and along the way, the silvernette complained non-stop about this and that: the weather, the pointlessness of the activity, the group members…pretty much everything 'wrong' that he could possibly find with the position he was in.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid…" the silvernette mumbled as he carried on kicking the sand to vent out his dissatisfactions.

Yamamoto observed Gokudera from the back. Ever since they got off the bus, the silvernette seemed to be constantly pissed off by something, especially when Yamamoto was around. Those emerald eyes wouldn't even look in his direction, let alone meet his own dark brown orbs – and Yamamoto kept on wondering what he could possibly had done.

_Or maybe I'm just over thinking… _Yamamoto thought, before he shook his head.

_ Ahaha. Nah…that doesn't really sound like what I would do._

He glanced at Gokudera once again. _Maybe…I should try…just to make sure…_

Catching up with Gokudera and resting his palms lightly on his small shoulders, Yamamoto spoke, "Ne, Gokudera-"

"Don't _touch_ me, baseball idiot," Gokudera spat, almost immediately wrenching himself away from Yamamoto's hands, his eyebrows tied together in a deeper frown.

Yamamoto raised his hands and backed off, smiling sheepishly.

_Yup. I definitely did something. _The baseball player decided, remembering how before the trip he had wrapped his arm around Gokudera's shoulders and the silvernette didn't seem to mind.

"Kufufu…I do wonder what put you in such a bad mood, Smoking Bomb," Mukuro smirked, as though he already knew the answer to his question.

"Tch. This entire fucking thing is ridiculous," Gokudera muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Mukuro raised an eyebrow, "Oya? Is that the only reason?"

The smirk on Mukuro's face only annoyed Gokudera further, "Yes. Now shut up and keep walking."

Mukuro leaned his head to one side, "Hmm~, fine, I'll let it go. Though I do doubt this activity is the only cause." The mismatched-eyed rebel then turned towards Yamamoto, "Would _you_ know something about the other causes, ace?"

"Why the hell would _he_ know?" Gokudera cut in before Yamamoto could answer.

"Just wondering~," Mukuro smiled mysteriously before he sped up so that he walked in front of the group, Chikusa trailing closely behind.

Yamamoto looked at the dark blue hair from the back, wondering how Mukuro was able to tell. _Man, he sure is sharp when he wants to be…_

"Ah. Mukuro-sama, I think that's another clue," Chikusa spoke stoically as he pointed towards a tree some distance away, with a red card pinned to the trunk.

"Oh, that's right! Awesome, Chikusa!" Yamamoto smiled brightly, patting Chikusa firmly on the back. The megane just nodded, accepting the compliment.

"Kufufu~, you've always had sharp eyes. Alright then, Chikusa and I will go to read the clue, you two stay here," Mukuro spoke before he instantly walked off with Chikusa, allowing no room for argument.

"Tch. He does whatever the fuck he wants. Weirdo." Gokudera muttered, standing there watching the two ex-Kokuyo students walking away.

"Ahaha~, yup, that's Mukuro. He's always been like that really," Yamamoto smiled lightly, looking in the same direction.

Gokudera's eyes moved to glance at Yamamoto, at that smile, before he turned away, his frown deepening.

_And you've probably always been overly nice to everyone…no wonder you're so popular._

_Che. That attitude will definitely lead people into the wrong direction – making them feel all special and shit for just a moment…_

_Fucking baseball idiot, who the hell do you think-_

"Maa, maa, Gokudera, it's unhealthy to frown so much," Yamamoto suddenly appeared in front of Gokudera, kneading the area between his eyebrows with his thumb.

Gokudera quickly swatted his hand away, "None of you business, idiot. Go away."

Yamamoto sighed softly, "Hey. If I did something wrong, can you tell me what it is?"

Gokudera looked up at him, frowning, "What?"

"You're pissed at me and I don't know why," Yamamoto stated, looking into those emerald eyes as though searching for an explanation.

Gokudera, unable to keep holding that intense eye contact, looked away, "I'm not-"

"Yes you are. You won't even look at me," Yamamoto spoke calmly, in contrast to Gokudera, who was tense with pressure.

"Che. Whatever, baseball moron," Gokudera muttered, before he started walking off, escaping from Yamamoto.

Unfortunately for him, the baseball player wasn't one that gave up that easily. Soon after, Yamamoto caught up with him, and Gokudera sped up, walking faster – but even so, Yamamoto was still right behind him. "Gokudera, tell me what I did," he was persistent.

"You didn't _do_ anything. Stop following me," Gokudera muttered, accelerating his steps.

"Then why are you pissed at me?" Yamamoto wanted to know, now feeling that the issue was more serious than he thought. Gokudera just kept on walking, so he tried again, "Don't walk away like this, Gokudera."

"_Don't_ fucking tell me what to do or not do, moron," Gokudera was getting increasingly annoyed. _Why wouldn't he just fucking leave me alone? Go fuck his boyfriend or some shit._

Yamamoto was becoming frustrated too, "I don't like leaving things unsettled."

"That's your problem," Gokudera muttered.

Yamamoto frowned, "I just want to get to know you and-"

"Just shut up already!" Gokudera suddenly turned around and faced Yamamoto, glaring up at him, he continued, "I _don't_ fucking care about what you want. You're not like me. You'll never fucking understand me. Someone like you…" Gokudera looked away, crossing his arms.

_There it is again – that broken look. _Yamamoto caught it in Gokudera's voice and eyes. The baseball player inhaled softly before he spoke, "Then tell me. Make me understand."

"Why the hell would you care?" Gokudera mumbled.

"I do care. We're friends," Yamamoto replied.

"Oh _bullshit_," Gokudera spat. "You're friends with everyone. You're just the type that needs to be liked by everyone. You don't fucking care – you just don't want your perfect little world to be spoiled by the fact that you can't befriend _everyone_."

Yamamoto was silent for a moment, before he murmured, "That might be true…"

Gokudera was surprised at that response, and he looked up at Yamamoto – only to see those dark chocolate eyes still looking straight at him. Once again, the silvernette turned away.

Yamamoto continued, "…but at least I'm not running away."

Gokudera glared at him, "The _fuck_ are you trying to imply?"

Yamamoto was still calm as he spoke, "You keep running away, Gokudera. What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not-" Gokudera started to walk away but Yamamoto gripped his wrist.

"There. See? You're running away," Yamamoto interrupted before Gokudera could argue.

Gokudera tried to yank his arm away, but Yamamoto's grip was firm.

_Shit. _Gokudera inwardly cursed. It was moments like these that the silvernette realized how strong Yamamoto really was when he wanted to be.

"Fuck this. Fine then. Speak. What the hell do you want to know?" Gokudera spat.

"Everything. About you. Why are you unhappy?" Yamamoto asked with a softer voice at the end, looking at Gokudera searchingly – his eyes filled with genuine concern.

Gokudera didn't like it. He wasn't used to being looked at with passionate eyes like that – and it annoyed him that something that had such an effect on him was used widely with everyone. Yamamoto had the ability to reach into him – making him want to pour everything out right then and there. Every time he looked into those eyes, he felt a though he was about to crumble. Release. Breakdown. Cry.

To hell was Gokudera going to do that – especially _not_ in front of this baseball idiot.

"…none of your business," Gokudera muttered, hiding his face away from Yamamoto.

Yamamoto sighed. This was going nowhere. For some reason he did not understand, Gokudera was holding himself back – hiding himself, blocking it off with a large thick concrete wall. Yamamoto thought he had managed to crack through a little since he had met him, but it seemed as though ever since they arrived at Okinawa, that wall had just thickened once more.

However, he wasn't going to let that stop him now. Yamamoto was going to crack that wall.

He murmured softly, "…does it have something to do with the finger marks on your neck?"

-!

That definitely struck something – something deep, and extremely painful.

Gokudera's head snapped around to glare at Yamamoto, his face hot. _How dare he-_

Violently jerking himself away from Yamamoto, Gokudera was prepared to run – but Yamamoto was faster, managing to grab the silvernette's shirt before he could escape. Gokudera turned around to throw a punch at the baseball player, but Yamamoto just dodged the fist and grabbed his arm, locking it behind his back.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck-!_

Gokudera was desperate to get away now, throwing himself forwards – kicking, punching, hitting, scrambling…doing whatever he could do to not face Yamamoto in that moment – forgetting all of his fighting techniques altogether. But Yamamoto was as stubborn as ever, as intent on not letting go as the silvernette was to escape. The baseball player took a few punches to his face, a few kicks to his body, but he still held on.

"Gokudera, calm down," Yamamoto tried to talk to the raging stray cat in his arms. The two of them were stumbling now with how much Gokudera was wriggling.

No use. Gokudera wasn't about to listen to anyone or anything. "Fuck you! Let _go_! Fucking stupid- ah!"

"Woah-!"

As Gokudera stepped backwards, he tripped on a large sandcastle, causing both he and Yamamoto to tumble over towards the ground.

It was silent, then – Gokudera lying sideways on the sand with Yamamoto's body on top of his own, their eyes finally locking.

And the two of them just laid there, staring at one another as though caught in a trance. Both of their minds blank as they looked at each other.

_Connected._

Gokudera was the first to break eye contact, muttering quietly – calmer now, "Oi. Get off."

Yamamoto was snapped back to reality by the silvernette's voice – and he quickly got up and crouched beside Gokudera. "Ah- sorry. Are you okay?"

"Mm," Gokudera mumbled, sitting up and brushing off the sand from his arms and face.

Yamamoto rolled in his lips. "Gokudera…"

"Enough," Gokudera cut him off, looking away. "…I don't want to talk to you."

Yamamoto looked down, crestfallen.

The wall had just formed yet another layer.

Gokudera started to stand up then, before all of a sudden, he toppled back down. "Agh- shit…"

Yamamoto glanced up at the silvernette who was clutching his ankle. From experience as a sportsman, Yamamoto immediately recognized the awkward twist of the joint. He murmured, "I think you've twisted your ankle."

Gokudera didn't turn to look at him, hissing. "Shut up. I know I've twisted it. I'm not fucking retarded." The silvernette then tried to stand up once more, but stopped and sat down once again, cringing. "_Fuck_-!"

Yamamoto sighed, before he edged himself closer and lifted the injured ankle.

"The fuck are you doing? Go away, idiot," Gokudera tried to swat at Yamamoto's hand, but had to flinch when Yamamoto carefully moved his foot left and right, causing pain to throb harshly in his ankle.

"…stop that," Gokudera mumbled, gripping Yamamoto's arm.

Yamamoto looked up at him, "It looks pretty bad. Does it hurt a lot?"

"Duh. What do you think?" Gokudera muttered, before he hissed and tightened his grip on Yamamoto's arm when the baseball player moved his foot around once more. "_Shit_. Stop it already."

Yamamoto gently rested his palm on top of Gokudera's hand, causing those emerald eyes to widen, his heart skipping a beat.

"I'll take you to the nurse," Yamamoto said.

"Wha-? It's fine. I can go by myself," Gokudera quickly spoke – feeling his face warming for some unknown reason.

Yamamoto shook his head, "You can't even stand up by yourself. Stop being so stubborn."

"…che," Gokudera rolled in his lips, knowing he couldn't argue with that.

The baseball player then turned his back towards him. Gokudera stared at Yamamoto, confused, "…what?"

"Get on me," Yamamoto said.

"What…? No," Gokudera immediately replied, "No fucking way."

Yamamoto sighed, turning around to grab both of Gokudera's hands and forced him to wrap his arms around his wide shoulders.

"Wait. Wait!" Gokudera panicked, "You don't need to carry me. There are other ways…"

"I'm responsible for this," Yamamoto spoke, a serious tone underlying his voice. "Just let me take care of you."

_Just let me take care of you._

"But it's… embarrassing," Gokudera muttered, his face glowing hot. Just the image of him – _the_ Smoking Bomb of Dynamite – being carried on this idiot's back was more than he could handle.

Yamamoto almost wanted to chuckle at the silvernette's concern. "There's nobody around, it's fine."

The baseball player started tugging on his arms once more, and Gokudera kept on resisting. "Wait! I just… I can't…"

Yamamoto really did let out a chuckle this time, "Haha, it's fine, Gokudera. Really." He turned to give the silvernette a reassuring smile. "Now get on before Mukuro and Chikusa return, ne? I'm sure you don't want them witnessing this."

_True._ Gokudera thought – before he eventually, reluctantly, wrapped his arms securely around Yamamoto's neck. Yamamoto then grabbed hold of both Gokudera's slim legs and pulled them around his waist before he stood up, lifting Gokudera with him as he started to walk.

Gokudera immediately felt himself blushing furiously. _Shit. How much more embarrassing could this get? _He hid his face behind Yamamoto's neck – before realizing that that wasn't such a good option either. He was now fully aware of how close their bodies were in this position, body pressed against body, feeling Yamamoto's warmth. It was probably the most intimate Gokudera had been with someone in years.

And damn, it was making him nervous.

_Especially with this baseball idiot…_

_Wait. _Gokudera paused. _Wait… what?_

_Why does it matter more if it's him?_

Gokudera shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thought. Though, deep down within, he knew why it mattered more that it was Yamamoto.

…_trouble._

"Gokudera…" Yamamoto's soft voice brought Gokudera back to reality.

"Ah- hm? What?" Gokudera leaned his head over Yamamoto's shoulder to look at him.

Yamamoto continued, "I know you don't want to talk about the marks…"

"_Don't._ Just don't," Gokudera almost immediately replied, his arms unconsciously tightening around Yamamoto.

Yamamoto noticed. "I won't. Don't worry, I won't anymore…but will you at least tell me why you were upset with me?"

Gokudera sighed. There was really no escape now. "Fine," he mumbled, before continuing, "…but first you have to answer my questions. Honestly."

"Sure," Yamamoto nodded.

Gokudera took in a deep breath, "…why are you so fucking persistent on getting to know me?"

Yamamoto's lips curled up into a smile, "Honestly?" Gokudera nodded, so Yamamoto continued, "…at first it was because you were pretty."

Gokudera couldn't help but kick Yamamoto with his hanging leg. "Ow, okay, okay, sorry~," Yamamoto knocked his head lightly against Gokudera's, "But now it's for a different reason."

Gokudera narrowed his eyes, "…which is?"

Yamamoto smiled, "You. I just want to know more about you."

"But…why?" Gokudera didn't understand.

Yamamoto turned to glance at Gokudera's face, "Do I really need a reason for wanting to know you?"

Gokudera rolled in his lips, wondering why he never thought of that fact. Yamamoto was simple. He didn't always have to think through or have a reason for everything – he just acted. "Not…necessarily," Gokudera replied, before he continued, "But then…aren't you just interested in everyone?"

Yamamoto chuckled, "Ahaha~ no, I just like being friendly to everyone. But I want to know you. Like, really _know_ you, Gokudera," he smiled, "You're kinda special to me."

Gokudera's heart flipped.

Those words. Those words that he never thought he would hear from anyone.

"So," Yamamoto ran circles on Gokudera's legs with his thumbs, "…can you tell me why you were pissed now?"

Gokudera shook his head, still trying to take in those words just now. "Nah… doesn't matter – it was stupid."

"Hey, that's unfair. I answered your questions, Gokudera," Yamamoto argued, though he was still smiling.

Gokudera rolled in his lips. There was no way he would be able to tell Yamamoto the true reason he was pissed at him – especially because right now he just found out that it was a stupid reason as well. He rested his chin on Yamamoto's shoulders, "It doesn't matter. I'm not pissed anymore."

Yamamoto smiled, leaning his head on Gokudera's, "Haha, fine, fine. That's good enough for me."

They didn't say much after that, just observing the beach, seeing the waves wash up the shore and back down, Gokudera resting his body on Yamamoto's back – trusting him now – whilst Yamamoto felt Gokudera's breath on his neck, smelling the faint scent of cigarette from that silver hair.

Something about having their bodies connected in this way was… comforting. Natural – feeling good for both of them.

And as Yamamoto felt Gokudera leaning his head on the back of his neck, sighing, he was relieved and glad to realize that he had managed to remove quite an extraordinary amount of layers from that wall around Gokudera's heart.

* * *

**A/N:** Aw, hell. I'm awful, aren't I? I seriously have bad time management skills. School doesn't help either with all of its sports events and competitions… and I'm sitting here typing with my legs as heavy as lead for running over a mile yesterday T^T

But if you're reading this, I thank you so much as a writer for still reading my fics even though I'm so crappy at updating on time. Seriously, thank you~! :D

And I know I don't reply, but it doesn't mean your reviews don't matter. It means a HECK LOAD to me, guys. So, please, review~! :D


	9. Courage Test

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, and some girls in this chappie. –le gasp- YES. GIRLS.

I mentioned her in every update so y'all should probably know by now that '**The Shifter Simply Weird' **is my beta-reader – so a lot of thanks to her for dealing with my stupid grammar and typos! ^_^

* * *

**Okinawa, 8.04pm**

It was the most cliché, most traditional game ever – and yet, it never got old.

'Courage Testing' – an activity where students walk through a set-up of a haunted location. Those who are brave enough will manage to complete the whole trail, whilst the more cowardly ones will fail and retreat – receiving an embarrassing task as their punishment.

It was the same here with the sophomores of Namimori High School in Okinawa. The students were separated into two groups: class A and C being the ones tested, and class B and D acting as the ghosts.

"Heh, I bet no-good Tsuna wouldn't even last five minutes~," Ken teased, poking Tsuna in the ribs.

"I bet he wouldn't even last three," Chikusa spoke in monotone as he observed Tsuna, as though analyzing his level of courage.

Ken, feeling like a competition was beginning, replied, "I bet he wouldn't even last one!"

"Hey, don't talk to him like that," Gokudera pulled Tsuna away from the two ex-Kokuyo students.

"Ah, Gokudera-kun, it's okay…" Tsuna smiled sheepishly, tugging Gokudera's sleeve.

Ken laughed, "Hahaha~, whatever, Smoking Bomb, you can't even walk properly."

"Tch." Gokudera frowned, frustrated. Ever since he twisted his ankle the silvernette had been limping around all day.

"Maa, maa," Yamamoto entered the conversation, wrapping his arms around both Gokudera and Tsuna, "There's no need to start fighting, ne?" He turned to Gokudera, a soft smile on his lips, and the silvernette just pushed his face away – not liking the way those warm eyes were making him feel all jumpy in his own skin.

Ever since Yamamoto carried Gokudera to the nurse, it was as though a new bond had formed between them – a new sort of connection that involved only the two of them. Neither understood what it was, but it became a common knowledge between them – though unspoken – that their relationship had developed another step; something closer, and yet still out of reach – the next step just a stretch away from their fingertips. Yamamoto understood Gokudera to an extent that nobody did before… and it felt good for both of them. They liked this new friendship.

"Kufufu, seems like whenever I disappear you all break into trouble. Oya, oya~, what would you all do without me~," Mukuro waltzed back into the group at that point, holding a few cards in his hand. These cards were given out to determine who partnered with whom for the courage testing activity.

"Just hand out the cards," Gokudera rolled his eyes.

"Ah~, so impatient, Smoking Bomb," Mukuro smirked, "Quite ironic actually, since right now you're the slowest moving in all of us with your injured ankle."

Gokudera snatched a card from Mukuro's hand, and the Mukuro just chuckled – enjoying his own personal joke as he handed the rest of the group their cards. It was a rather basic system – whoever had the same card number were partnered with each other.

"I got number 27," Tsuna said, before he looked around for his match. "Number 27 anyone?"

"Ah, Tsuna-kun, I got 27 as well," Sasagawa Kyoko, a cute, brown-haired girl from Tsuna's class walked up to him. She smiled, "I'm glad. It's nice to be coupled with someone I can talk to. We'll go through this together, ne?"

Tsuna just nodded and smiled at her, even though on the inside he was completely freaking out from the thought that he might look completely stupid in front of Kyoko when he started sprinting away full-speed, from the ghosts.

"Don't worry Tsuna, I'm sure you'll do great! It won't even bother you!" Gokudera patted Tsuna's back enthusiastically, and Tsuna inwardly sighed. Somehow, even though the brown haired boy showed weakness on countless occasions, Gokudera was still stuck on the image that Tsuna was this courageous, adventurous boy like he was in his childhood.

Gokudera then looked at his own card, "…number 5?"

The silvernette looked at Yamamoto, but Yamamoto shook his head, "Ah, I got number 8."

A sense of mutual disappointment was felt by both of them, though neither understood why nor was willing to show any of it on their faces.

"Oya~, I got number 8 as well~. I've been with you twice today now, it must be some sort of fate, don't you think?" Mukuro smirked as he wrapped his arms around Yamamoto's shoulders from the back.

"Ahaha~, you always make everything sound so dramatic, Mukuro," Yamamoto laughed.

"Kufufu~, it keeps things interesting," Mukuro chuckled – once again enjoying that little joke of his own.

Gokudera couldn't help but feel rather annoyed by the fact that Mukuro was partnered with Yamamoto.

_That freak must've planned it. He must have._

_ …and why the hell does he keep on hugging Yamamoto? Tch._

Frowning, Gokudera called out, "Number 5! Who has number 5?"

On the other side of the large group of students, someone responded – a familiar yet unfamiliar voice. Gokudera wondered who it could be, as he called out once again, "Here!"

Meanwhile, Ken and Chikusa looked at their own cards.

"Number 12!" Ken waved the card above his head, "Nummmmberrrr ta-welvvvve~!"

"Ah. That's me," a soft voice called from behind, and when Ken turned around and saw who had the same number, his jaw dropped open.

"What? YOU?" Ken's face twisted in half-disgust and half-disbelief.

Chrome Dokuro, Mukuro's twin, nodded softly, showing Ken her card which had the number '12' clearly written on the paper.

Ken was about to complain when Mukuro gripped his shoulders firmly, smiling icily at him, "I'm sure you'll take _good care_ of my cute Chrome, isn't that right Ken?"

Ken crossed his arms, obviously unhappy about the entire situation, though he mumbled, "…fine."

Chikusa, on the other hand, didn't even need to call out for his partner – for she came pouncing at him like a tidal wave of excitement as soon as she saw the number on his card.

"Ah! You have number 16! So you're with me, Chikusa-kun~." The girl's name was Haru – she had dark brown hair always tied up in a high pony-tail, and was well known for being one of the most energetic girls in the entire year group; a complete contrast to Chikusa, who was as calm as a body of water contained in glass. He simply nodded at her, and said nothing else. Not that it bothered Haru – the girl talked enough to fill up an entire conversation all by herself.

"Number 5?" Gokudera was still calling for his partner, who seemed to be taking quite a long time to make his way through the crowd.

But as soon as he eventually appeared, Gokudera felt like tearing up his card and stomping it deep into the ground. He glared at Mukuro – now _incredibly_ certain that the mismatched eyed rebel planned all of this.

Mukuro just chuckled as he shrugged, smirking. "Kufufu~, you snatched the card out of my hand yourself, Smoking Bomb. You can blame no one."

Gokudera was on the verge of slamming Mukuro's face into the sand – maybe it would wipe that damn smile off his face. The silvernette was pissed – definitely pissed – and everyone could understand why.

For the person who had the number 5 – the one Gokudera was partnered with – was no one else but a certain blonde prince whose smile represented that of the Cheshire's.

"Ushishishi~, hi there, Dynamite. What a coincidence, ne?"

* * *

**Okinawa, 8.38pm**

"Kufufu~."

"Haha, you seem to be enjoying this a lot, Mukuro."

"Why, of course I am~, isn't it amusing how I manage to scare off the 'ghosts' when they're supposed to be scaring us?"

"Ahaha, well, it is pretty funny I guess. You have a lot of skills in that."

"Kufufu~, I'll take that as a compliment, Ace."

Yamamoto and Mukuro were almost half-way down the trail through the forest now, and so far, instead of the fake ghosts scaring the two of them, it was Mukuro instead who managed to scare the students pretending to be the ghosts. Yamamoto just watched as Mukuro counter-scared each 'ghost' that approached them with a wide smirk on his face, enjoying every second of terrifying others.

It wasn't anything unusual – this wasn't first time Yamamoto saw the sadist and the mastermind within Rokudo Mukuro.

"Ne, Mukuro," Yamamoto started as they continued through the forest.

"Hm~? What is it?" Mukuro turned around and walked backwards, tossing the flashlight playfully in his hand.

Yamamoto replied, a knowing smile on his face, "You actually planned all those partners didn't you? The cards?"

"Oya, oya~," Mukuro's lips merged into a smirk, "I always knew you were a sharp one, Ace."

"Ahaha, only when I'm not in classes I guess," Yamamoto laughed lightly.

"Good instincts. I like that," Mukuro leaned his head to one side, observing Yamamoto for just a moment before he turned around and continued walking. "It's all for the best, really~, maybe now Ken and Chikusa might finally realize how they feel about each other."

"Hm?" Yamamoto raised his eyebrows, "So…they like each other?"

"Kufufu~, oh please. What happened to those good instincts?" Mukuro looked over his shoulder to eye Yamamoto. Then, as he turned around, he abruptly came to a stop.

"What is it?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

Mukuro raised a finger to his lips, whispering, "Incoming. I hear a ghost coming our way."

Yamamoto, knowing that this was the time that Mukuro would start scaring the fake-ghost, nodded and moved away to hide behind the tree, switching off his torch. Mukuro was the one with the scare tactics – Yamamoto only served as the observer. Mukuro was one hell of a performer and he liked having an audience to witness his show.

But when the 'fake ghost' eventually appeared along the trail, Mukuro wasn't so sure anymore if he wanted anyone watching this particular scene.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Mukuro frowned at the 'fake ghost' – who was in fact, Byakuran holding a torch beneath his chin whilst walking in zombie-style – a lame excuse for a pretend ghost, even by children standards.

Yamamoto eyes widened when he realized it was Byakuran – immediately remembering that session in the office between Mukuro and the Headmaster.

"Aw, there's no need to look so upset, Mukuro-kun," Byakuran stopped the ghost-act before he walked up closer to Mukuro – too close.

"Go away. Why are you even here? The other teachers are by the finish line," Mukuro mumbled, crossing his arms and turning away from Byakuran, the frown still on his face.

Byakuran smiled, his eyes closing to become curved slits, "I wanted to see you."

Yamamoto stiffened when he saw Byakuran touching Mukuro's face, running his thumb across Mukuro's cheek.

Mukuro quickly swatted his hand away, "Huh. I don't fucking care. Leave."

Byakuran's smile didn't falter. He moved even closer, "Do you really want me to?"

"Yes. Just- leave already," Mukuro looked away – looking at anything but Byakuran.

"Heh," Byakuran's smile curved into a smirk as his eyes opened, revealing those light violet-grey orbs. "I don't believe you."

From that point, everything seemed to happen in fast forward. Byakuran wrapped one arm around Mukuro's waist, and before the younger had any time to escape, he used his other hand to clasp his face and capture Mukuro's lips with his own. Mukuro tried to wriggle away, but Byakuran managed to press the younger's body close enough against himself that there was no possible escape.

The kiss was like a battle. Byakuran's tongue forcing its way into Mukuro's mouth, almost slipping down his throat – dominating him, showing his power and ownership. Byakuran's hand moved to weave through the dark strands of Mukuro's hair, tilting Mukuro's head so that he could further deepen the kiss, causing Mukuro to shudder in his hold.

When Byakuran finally broke off the passionate yet forceful kiss, Mukuro was panting in his arms. He glared up at the Byakuran, hissing, "…_fuck you_."

Byakuran's smirk only widened, "Are you asking me to?"

CRACK.

Both Byakuran and Mukuro turned towards the crackle of leaves when Yamamoto accidentally released the torch in his hands, dropping it onto the ground. The baseball player slowly crept out from behind the tree and sheepishly picked the torch up, smiling awkwardly at both of them, the shock still written all over his face.

Seeing it before didn't make much difference – a kiss like that was something that should never be witnessed by an outsider. It was too intimate, too private, and way too sensual to be shared with anyone but the two people involved.

Byakuran was momentarily surprised by the existence of another student, but the smile on his face quickly returned as he addressed the newcomer. "Yamamoto Takeshi?"

"Ah, yes…" Yamamoto nodded, standing up and walking back onto the trail. There was no use in hiding anymore.

"Do you mind if I steal Mukuro-kun away and leave you to continue alone?" Byakuran appeared friendly and kind – but the dark glimpse in his eyes was more or less forcing Yamamoto to obey to his command.

Yamamoto wasn't sure whether he was surprised by the true nature of the Headmaster. After all, this was someone who could take control over _Mukuro_.

"Uh, yeah, okay," Yamamoto nodded uncertainly, glancing at Mukuro who was hiding his face away, increasingly feeling like an intruder.

Byakuran smiled sweetly, "And I'm sure you won't tell anyone about this?"

"…of course not," Yamamoto immediately assured.

"Well, good~ Thanks, Takeshi-kun," Byakuran waved at Yamamoto, a signal ordering him to leave.

And Yamamoto did just that.

* * *

**Okinawa, 8:44pm**

"BOO!"

"Woah-!"

Yamamoto was sent almost tumbling towards the forest floor when something heavy jumped onto his back and clung onto him. Fortunately, the baseball player managed to regain his balance before he fell over. Yamamoto turned his head around to see what attacked him – only to be met by a wide, bright smile that stretched across the owner's face.

"Ushishishi~," Belphegor snickered happily as he clutched onto Yamamoto.

"Ah, Bel… you really need to stop jumping on people like that. It's dangerous," Yamamoto sighed.

"Ehh? Did the prince scare you?" Bel's smile widened.

Yamamoto lowered himself and let the prince get off his back before he replied, "A bit. You shocked me more than anything."

"Ushishi~, so fun~, I can do this forever~," Bel spoke in a sing-song voice, continuously pirouetting like a young ballerina.

Yamamoto smiled and shook his head at the blonde – Bel was one of those few people who didn't let the immaturity within them die away. It was both refreshing and tiring at the same time. Yamamoto wondered how Bel's partner could've dealt with him – when all of a sudden the realization hit him.

"Hey, Bel, what about Gokudera?" Yamamoto asked.

Bel paused mid-spin, "Who?"

"Gokudera," Yamamoto repeated.

"Ah~, Dynamite~. What about him?" Bel cocked his head to one side, smiling innocently.

"Uh… isn't he supposed to be with you? He's your partner for this, isn't he?" Yamamoto said.

"Oh, right~. Well, Dynamite was being too slow so we separated. Then the prince just decided to stay here and scare people. You don't expect the prince to partner with his enemy do you?" Bel replied.

Yamamoto frowned slightly. Gokudera's ankle was still injured – it would be too easy for something to go wrong as he walked through the forest alone. The thought was enough to make Yamamoto feel panicky inside.

"Bel, which way did Gokudera go?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

Bel leaned his head to one side, thinking for a moment, before he pointed towards the direction down the trail. "This way."

Yamamoto nodded, "Okay, thanks Bel. And stop scaring people, you should get going too." Then, Yamamoto was off – feeling very unsettled by the fact that Gokudera could be lost or in danger somehow somewhere in the forest, all alone with his twisted ankle, that broken look in those emerald eyes…

_I have to find him. _

The sense of urgency was unexplained.

* * *

**Okinawa, 8:48pm**

"You do _not_ scare my friend like that, you got me?"

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!"

"You should be! Tsuna was almost in tears! What the hell did you do to him?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't do anything! I just pretended to be a ghost like everyone else!"

"Bullshit! Tell me what you did!"

"Gokudera-kun, it's okay! Please stop scaring him – he just did what he's supposed to. I was the one who ran off like a coward." Tsuna attempted to pull Gokudera back from the poor kid.

Gokudera turned towards his friend, his hands still clutching the other kid's collar, "Are you sure, Tsuna?"

Tsuna nodded and motioned towards Kyoko beside him, "Yes. Kyoko-chan saw too, isn't that right?"

Kyoko nodded, "Ah, yes, Gokudera-kun. He only pretended to be a ghost – but it was too scary for us so we just ran back."

Gokudera observed the three people before him and thought back to when he saw Tsuna frantically sprinting towards him whilst dragging Kyoko along. He then looked back to the petrified fake-ghost and finally let go of his collar, "Fine. You can go then. Next time, don't mess with my friend."

"Understood! Thank you! I'm really sorry!" He bowed to Gokudera before he quickly ran off to where he came from.

"Tch," Gokudera watched him as he left, before he turned to Tsuna, "If anyone does anything to you again, just tell me alright?"

Tsuna nodded, "Ah, thank you, Gokudera-kun – you really didn't need to scare him like that though."

Gokudera frowned, "What do you mean? He_ traumatized_ you. That's unforgivable. He must've done something really awful."

_Actually…it's just me who's too much of a wimp to handle these things… _Tsuna smiled dryly, not knowing how to explain it to his friend.

At that point, a familiar voice came from behind them in the darkness, "Gokudera!"

The silvernette felt his heart perform a tiny flip as he turned towards the voice. "Baseball id-"

The sentence was cut off when Yamamoto wrapped his arms around Gokudera and hugged him tight, sighing, "…you're okay."

For a short moment Gokudera could feel his cheeks burning and his heartbeat accelerating as he took in the intimacy between them – but then he regained his senses and started pushing Yamamoto away. "What the- get off me, baseball idiot!"

Yamamoto laughed lightly and released Gokudera from his hold, "Ahaha~, sorry. It's just that I got really worried when Bel told me you were walking alone, then I started getting all paranoid when I couldn't find you until now…"

"Che, moron. As if I couldn't get through this stupid test alone," Gokudera rolled his eyes, though inside, he had felt particular warmth rush through him when Yamamoto said he was worried about him.

"Haha, of course, of course," Yamamoto smiled, completely relieved now that he could see Gokudera standing all well before him. Then, he turned, and as though noticing them for the first time, he said, "Ah! Tsuna and Kyoko, you're here as well!"

Both Tsuna and Kyoko smiled and nodded at the baseball player. Tsuna asked, "How come you're all alone Yamamoto?"

"Oh. Well, Mukuro…" Yamamoto trailed off, wondering how he should put it, before he decided, "…Mukuro got into trouble with one of the teachers back there. He was…scaring the other kids." That wasn't necessarily a lie – just not the complete truth.

Tsuna sighed, "Ah…again. Sounds like him."

"Ahaha, yeah…I guess," Yamamoto smiled, scratching the back of his head – the image of Mukuro and Byakuran's intense kiss back there still very clear in his mind.

"Ah, well, on the bright side this is good," Kyoko perked up, "Now Gokudera-kun can partner with Yamamoto-kun and no one will be walking alone anymore, and no one will be punished for having more than two people walking together either, ne?"

"Oh! That's right!" Tsuna smiled, turning to look at his two friends, "What do you two say?"

Yamamoto and Gokudera turned to look at each other at the same time, their eyes locking for a second before Gokudera turned away, mumbling. "Yeah. It's fine."

Yamamoto smiled, "Mm, it's fine by me too."

Kyoko nodded, "Okay! It's all settled then."

* * *

**Okinawa, 8.59pm**

"_Ooooooooooh~._"

"Don't even bother."

"_I'm gonna get you~._"

"No, seriously. This is pathetic. We're not scared."

The two fake-ghosts blinked at Gokudera before they nudged each other to walk away together back into the forest.

Gokudera rolled his eyes, "Tch. Really. Is that all they can do?"

Yamamoto laughed, "Haha~, come on, don't be mean. They tried."

"Not hard enough," Gokudera said, continuing to walk awkwardly along, hobbling slightly due to his injured ankle.

Yamamoto followed closely behind, "Does it still hurt?"

Gokudera turned to look at him, "What?"

"Your ankle," Yamamoto motioned towards Gokudera's foot, looking guilty.

Gokudera saw his expression and pushed lightly at his head, "Che. Don't make that stupid face. It's not your fault, idiot."

Yamamoto smiled lightly, "You're kind, Gokudera."

Gokudera felt a slip in his chest, and he was grateful for the night because he was sure his cheeks were burning crimson. Hiding his emotions with a false glare, he pushed Yamamoto's head again, "Whatever."

"Haha, don't be shy," Yamamoto chuckled, ruffling Gokudera's hair.

Gokudera frowned, pushing Yamamoto's hand away, "I'm not-"

He paused mid-sentence when Yamamoto grabbed his hand and wrapped it around his shoulder. He smiled, "There. Now you don't need to put so much weight on it."

"I didn't ask you to…," Gokudera mumbled, very aware of the proximity between them.

Yamamoto gently brushed away Gokudera's hair, "But I'm helping anyways because I want to."

Gokudera looked at those chocolate brown eyes and that warm smile, before he rolled in his lips.

_Damn it. Why do you make me feel this way?_

_What the hell is going on with me?_

The two continued to walk throughout the dark forest together, completely unaffected by the fake ghosts. Both Gokudera and Yamamoto were unafraid because they knew full well that it was just the students from their own year group, and thus, nothing the fake ghosts did scared them. But, that was until something else came alone.

Gokudera stiffened, "…what was that?"

Yamamoto turned, "Hm? What was what?"

"That light thing. Didn't you see it?" Gokudera mumbled – his body visibly more tense than before. "There!"

Yamamoto looked towards the direction Gokudera was pointing at, "Ah, I don't see it. It's probably just a light trick."

Gokudera shook his head, clutching Yamamoto's arm, "No, no. That wasn't just some stupid trick. It was- shit! Look!"

Yamamoto tried to understand what was so frightening about some weird lights appearing every now and again but he just couldn't see it from Gokudera's perspective. To him, they were just special lights made to perform weird, unnatural tricks. It was surprising for him that such things would scare Gokudera.

Yamamoto murmured to Gokudera, "Hey, Gokudera, it's okay. It's just a light trick."

"No!" Gokudera whispered urgently, "Don't you get it? It's a signal!"

"Huh?" Yamamoto had no idea what Gokudera was talking about, and it showed on his face.

Gokudera, both irritated and frightened, explained quickly, "UMAs! It's a signal from the UMAs! I read about them, they say the signals come out in natural areas at night."

Yamamoto was confused, "You mean like…UFOs?"

"Something like that," Gokudera shivered.

Yamamoto stared at the silvernette. The silvernette looked incredibly out of character with widened eyes and both hands holding on to him.

Then, he murmured with a teasing smile, "Gokudera…do you have an alien-phobia or something?"

Gokudera's grip on his arm tightened, mumbling quietly, "S-so what if I do…?"

Yamamoto didn't know whether he should burst out laughing or cuddle the silvernette. The idea of it just sounded absurd to him – Gokudera's weakness was so strange and unexpected.

_Alien-phobia… Gokudera? Really?_

"But…aliens aren't real?" Yamamoto suggested.

"How do you know? Maybe you've been abducted once and your memory's been deleted, or maybe one of them is living in our community right _now_, or maybe they have already replaced the _entire_ community with replicas and we're the only two humans left and we're in a lab and they're just conjuring images in our minds…everything here might not be reality – who knows! Maybe one's been transparently living in your bedroom this whole time!" Gokudera shuddered as he spoke.

Yamamoto just stared at him.

_Whoa. No way… is this for real? Gokudera seriously has an alien-phobia…_

Then, a light flashed once again.

"Shit-!" Gokudera swore, before he turned around and clung to Yamamoto with both arms wrapped around the baseball player's back. "Go away, go away, go away…" Gokudera shivered, mumbling repetitive words as he hid his face on Yamamoto's shoulders.

Yamamoto was dumb-founded. He didn't know how to react. Gokudera's body was completely pressed onto his own, those fingertips digging into him, clutching him tight. He could smell the mixed scent of shampoo and cigarettes from Gokudera's hair, feel that soft breath, hear that quivering voice, sense that soft skin and supple body. Almost out of natural instinct, Yamamoto moved his arms to wrap around Gokudera and hold him as well, one hand resting on Gokudera's head, the other around his slim waist.

All of a sudden the one-sided tight bear hug had become an intimate embrace.

And Yamamoto didn't know how he felt about that.

Gokudera's eyes were shut tight in real fear, his skin cold from the night wind, so he pressed himself closer to Yamamoto – whose body was as warm as his personality. Gokudera had always been afraid of things unknown to him – and unidentified beings were definitely classified in that group. The phobia developed when he was very young and Bianchi played a prank on him with an alien mask – a prank that traumatized him permanently. Afterwards, no matter how many times Bianchi convinced him that it was her; Gokudera still couldn't get rid of the fear. The phobia had disappeared for quite a while; until now – and Gokudera was hanging onto Yamamoto for dear life.

Yamamoto, on the other hand, was incredibly aware of how close their bodies were – almost no space existed between them at all. If it weren't for the clothes, no doubt their skins would have been pressed together. Yamamoto could feel Gokudera's shape – the lithe yet toned body he had seen before, some time ago, merging onto his own. Observing Gokudera, Yamamoto also noticed how the silvernette's hair and pale skin reflected the moonlight – almost seemingly luminous.

"Shit. Shit. Shit…make it go away. Make it go away…," Gokudera kept whispering. Every time he sneaked a glance and saw another light, he trembled.

Yamamoto carefully sifted his fingers through Gokudera's hair, comfortingly smoothing it down Gokudera's head, whilst the other hand on Gokudera's waist gently rubbed soothing circles on Gokudera's skin. Yamamoto murmured into his ear, "…I'm right here."

The words left his lips even before Yamamoto thought about it, and when he heard himself, he realized just how intimate he sounded. But Gokudera seemed to be comforted by it, his body relaxing slightly in his arms, and his fingers no longer digging into Yamamoto's flesh. Gokudera leaned his head onto Yamamoto's neck, causing him to freeze – blood curdling in his chest.

_This is…_

Eventually, the lights stopped coming. It took a while before Gokudera slowly released his hold on Yamamoto, blushing fiercely and his heart pulsating madly now that he realized everything he did.

_Shit. I just did that. I just clung to him like a girl._

_I really just did that._

_Aw shit…_

Gokudera, terribly embarrassed, raised a hand to cover his face and took a step backwards. Unfortunately, he completely forgot about his ankle injury and the pain shot up his leg, causing him to tumble-

"Ah-!"

Yamamoto caught him in time before he fell – that strong arm wrapped around his back and supporting him.

Those dark brown eyes were gazing intently at him as Yamamoto murmured softly, "…you okay?"

Gokudera swallowed, captured by those eyes. Then, he nodded, and Yamamoto raised him up and put him on his feet once again. Throughout the action, their eye-lock never broke. Not even once.

It was a though they were opposing magnetic poles, uncontrollably attracted to one another – unable to break their contact.

Looking into Yamamoto's eyes with his own emerald orbs, Gokudera quietly mumbled, "Hey…"

"Hm…?" Yamamoto spoke just as softly.

"Just now…," Gokudera paused, before he breathed, "…thank you."

The moon illuminated half of Gokudera's face, causing those deep green eyes to shine like mystical pools, complimented by those pink tinted lips parted slightly and that pale, smooth, soft skin.

Those lips curved into the faintest of smiles…

…Yamamoto had never seen anything so beautiful.

* * *

**Okinawa, 10.18pm**

"Ah, really? How was it?"

[Fuji's beautiful. As usual. I've seen it before. We could see it from our hotel too.]

"Nice hotel?"

[Hn. It has an onsen. We didn't have time for it today, though.]

"Aw, that's too bad. I'm sure you'd look sexy in a yukata…" Yamamoto smiled teasingly, resting his elbows on the edge of the balcony.

[…are you asking to be bitten to death?] Hibari's cold voice rang clear through the line.

Yamamoto chuckled, imagining the blush on Hibari's cheeks, "Ahaha, I'm just saying~."

[Hn…]

"You sound tired, Hibari. You okay?" Yamamoto leaned into his phone.

[Mm… long day. The silver-haired herbivore was screaming at the Varia boss the entire time.]

"Haha~, you mean Squalo and Xanxus?"

[Yes. Them.]

"Isn't Xanxus a senior, though? He should be on the senior expedition?"

[He is. The herbivore was screaming at him through the phone.]

"Oh. Hahaha~. Wow, sounds tiring."

[Hn… and too much crowding annoys me.]

"Ahh~, that's just like you, Hibari," Yamamoto's lips curved into a smile – hearing Hibari's voice pulled at his heartstrings and already, he was missing the prefect.

However, Yamamoto didn't know how that settled with his undeniable attraction for Gokudera during the courage test. Seeing Gokudera vulnerable like that really struck a spot in him – and he felt something similar to the day he fell for Hibari. It took all of his good conscience not to move in and kiss the silvernette in that moment.

_Ugh. Stop it. This is bad…_

But no matter how much Yamamoto tried to push the thoughts to the back of his mind, he knew that if he were to be completely honest with himself…he felt something for Gokudera.

Something more than he should.

[How was your day?] Hibari's voice called him back to reality.

"Ah…it was good. We did activities on the beach, had seafood barbeque…," Yamamoto trailed off.

[Hn…and courage testing?]

A pang of guilt shot right through Yamamoto. "Ah…how did you know?"

[Same program. I went on the same sophomore expedition.]

"Oh, haha~, you have a good memory, Senpai," Yamamoto sighed.

[You completed it?]

"Of course~, it wasn't really that scary."

[Hn. Your partner must be good, then. I was paired up with a stupid weakling who kept squealing and running.]

"Hahaha~, I can kinda picture that," Yamamoto smiled, imagining an annoyed Hibari walking along, dragging a wimpy boy along with him.

[So who were you paired with?]

Yamamoto's smile went dry.

_Why must it be this activity he's so focused on? Is it instinctual?_

"Mukuro."

_That wasn't a lie… wasn't it?_

[Tch.] Hibari's tone immediately changed. [I hate him.]

"Haha, I know…you two are kind of enemies, ne?"

[Hn. He's been annoying me since he came to Nami.]

"Ah…I remember seeing your fight."

[He doesn't even use his full strength. It's degrading for me. I hate it.]

"Maa, maa~, your pride really is something important for you, ne?"

[Hn. I guess.]

Yamamoto smiled and continued the conversation, glad that the topic moved on from tonight's courage test. He didn't want to think about it – about what happened between him and Gokudera, the emotions that passed through him in that moment.

But most certainly, if he didn't have Hibari, he would have stolen a kiss from Gokudera. No doubt. The signs were all there, the moment was right…and he wanted it. He wanted to kiss the silvernette, right there and then.

Accepting and admitting it was better than lying and fooling himself – but that didn't make the information any less depressing. Yamamoto couldn't understand what was going on with him. All these years, he had been pining for Hibari – wanting and wanting the prefect…and now that he actually had the Skylark, a new attraction just _had_ to bloom for Gokudera.

It was true – desires never cease to grow. From one stage to another then another…

Hibari wasn't the problem, either. Yamamoto liked Hibari, and he wanted Hibari just as badly as before. Only now, he also wanted somebody else… though not as badly – not yet.

Yamamoto lifted his arm over his forehead, inwardly sighing as he leaned against the wall.

_This is bad…_

* * *

**Okinawa, 10.39pm**

"Hm? Where did the baseball idiot go?" Gokudera asked Tsuna as he walked out of the bathroom and noticed the room was missing a person. His body was covered only by one towel around in slim waist, water still dripping from his hair which he was attempting to dry with a separate small towel.

Tsuna, already sitting on the bed in his nightclothes motioned towards the balcony, "Ah, he's outside."

"Huh?" Gokudera moved over to look at Yamamoto, who was laughing – his back turned towards the room. "What's he doing?"

"Talking to Hibari-san I think," Tsuna smiled, "He looks very happy."

Almost immediately, Gokudera felt a frown appear on his face – his mood suddenly dropping from positive to negative. He glared at Yamamoto's back before he sharply spun around and sat on the bed, turning away from the balcony as he continued to dry his hair, but now with more force than before.

_Talking with that head prefect, huh…_

_So in love aren't you? Tch. Stupid baseball freak. _

"Ah, Gokudera-kun, are you okay?" Tsuna edged himself closer to his friend, observing the silvernette.

Gokudera looked up at Tsuna, stopping his frantic hair drying, "Ah…yes. Why?"

"You look really pissed just now," Tsuna stated.

"Oh…it's nothing. Don't worry about it," Gokudera smiled at the brown eyed boy, reaching out to ruffle his fluffy hair.

_Yeah. It's nothing, really. _

Gokudera thought back to the way Yamamoto looked at him, back in the forest, those dark chocolate eyes almost melting him – drawing him in. It was undeniable what emotion came through those eyes in that moment – emotions so clear and obvious, so deep and intimate. They were close, so close…before Yamamoto abruptly pulled away and they continued to walk as thought that moment never passed between them.

Gokudera was left confused, not knowing whether he was dissatisfied because they were too close back there…or not close enough.

_It's nothing. Just that the baseball idiot's being too fucking difficult to understand, and it's driving me insane._

The heart lurches, the blushes, and the strange warm sensation that occurred every time Yamamoto was around – Gokudera didn't understand it. Yes, Yamamoto was a new case to him because he treated him differently…but Gokudera never expected to feel this way towards the baseball player.

This strange, unnamed twinge of emotion. Even though Gokudera didn't understand it, he knew one thing for certain.

He wanted to feel more of it.

* * *

**Okinawa, 10.41pm**

"Okay, I'll talk to you later then."

[Okay…]

"Good night, Hibari…"

[Night…] Hibari's voice was soft and faint, a rare tone reserved for Yamamoto alone.

Yamamoto sighed, "Ahh, don't sound like that."

[Hm?]

Yamamoto smiled, before he murmured, "It makes me want to kiss you…"

[…] Hibari said nothing, but his intake of breath could be heard.

"I really miss you…" Yamamoto spoke softly, in a tone that was pleading Hibari to be there with him right then.

[…I-] Hibari paused, sighed, before he whispered, […me too.]

Yamamoto felt an incredible rush of happiness within him with that word, and he smiled as he spoke, "Night, Hibari…"

[Night…]

The line disconnected, and Yamamoto held the phone to his chest, sighing softly, the smile still spread across his face. He really did miss the Skylark – _his_ Skylark. They only started their relationship and yet they had to be apart – it was killing him. Many years of waiting for Hibari, many years of just watching him from afar – and now that he could hold him, kiss him, touch him…he wasn't there. An apple that had fallen from a high tree, but still lying out of reach.

After having the conversation with Hibari, Yamamoto promised himself that he would never do anything to hurt this person, or to lose him. The tiny desire he had for Gokudera must be pushed away, kept locked within a box and buried deep down – never to be opened again.

But as he opened the glass door of the balcony and walked back into the room, Yamamoto began to realize that it was going to be harder than he thought.

Gokudera was walking around trying to find his night t-shirt, his silver hair tied up in a tiny ponytail with messy strands hanging loose, still dripping with water. He was only wearing a pair of dark blue loose trousers that hung teasingly on his hip bone, the rest of his slim body exposing its smooth, thoroughly pale complexion with an exception of his numerous scars.

Gokudera turned towards Yamamoto, revealing more of his body and the dark-rimmed glasses that he was wearing over his emerald eyes, "You can use the bathroom – I'm done."

Yamamoto swallowed thickly, using all of his self-control to not let his eyes roam over Gokudera's entire body.

_Bad. This is really bad…_

Like an addiction, desire keeps growing and tempting – one slip and you're lost in it for good.

* * *

**A/N: **Woo! Finally, I FINALLY get time to write my fics! Life is becoming way too busy for my own good =_= Anyways, THANK YOU for all of your lovely reviews! :D It really made me happy in those depressing moments when I have to finish my coursework and such…

The story is going to get more intense from now on~ So be prepared! ;)

And please, DO REVIEW. Believe me, it means a LOT. You guys don't even know how many times I re-read them! ;D And plus, reviews = motivation – note that this chapter was only updated today and not the upcoming week because this awesome reader landed a stack of reviews on me! :D


	10. Inevitable

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **FLUFF, swearing.

**A/N:** '**The Shifter Simply Weird' **changed her name to **'AmbiguousThoughts'.** She's still my awesome beta-reader, though! :D

**Beta:** Hey guys~! Beta here.  
I haven't tried this method of communication until now, so I might sound a bit weird.  
So, yeah. I changed my name. I think I'll actually stick with this one (unlike all those others).  
Anyways, if any of you guys need a beta, I'm available (even with 4 writers). /Chagrined smile.  
Sorry, MeLoNnAiSE-chan. You can share me, ne? ;P.

* * *

**Okinawa, 2.43pm**

SMACK.

"Ow-!" Tsuna yelped when a large, wet ball of sand smacked him on the back of his head causing him to almost fall into the sea water, which he was standing in.

"Woo! Right on target!" Ken, the assailant – also standing in the sea, pumped his fist into the air in victory. The animalistic boy turned towards his best friend who was reading on the beach and shouted, "Kakipii~! Did you see that?"

Chikusa simply put his book down momentarily, glanced at Tsuna who was still complaining about the hit, turned back to Ken and nodded before going back to reading.

"Oi! Ken! Look here!"

SMACK.

Ken turned towards the familiar voice from behind, only to be met with a wet sand ball directly to his face. Ken immediately rubbed the wet sand off his face, flinching at the saltiness of the sea water before pointing at the silvernette who threw the sand. "You!"

Gokudera stood smirking in the water, another ball of sand ready in one palm, "That's for picking on Tsuna." Smiling, Gokudera playfully gave Ken the finger before he threw the other ball of sand at him, shouting, "Game on!"

Ken dodged the sand this time, sticking his tongue out at Gokudera before he quickly scooped up another handful of sand, "Ha, fine! Challenge accepted!"

"Losers pay for ice cream!"

"Deal!"

That was how the two began their sand war, running around in the sea, with helpless Tsuna thrown into the mix. Gokudera's ankle was still injured, but that didn't stop the silvernette. As soon as his limp improved, Gokudera was up on his feet and sprinting whenever he could.

However, of course, Gokudera still couldn't move as fast as he used to – and he realized this was a disadvantage in the sand war, especially when he had Tsuna to take care of as well. Thus, the silvernette called out towards the beach, "Hey! Baseball idiot! Come join!"

Yamamoto, who had been playing sports on the beach with the other people from the school's sports team, laughed before he called back, "Sure! I'll be right there!"

Ken immediately complained when he saw the baseball player running into the sea and joining in, "Oi! No fair! It's three against one – even though no-good-Tsuna doesn't really count!"

"Heh, sucks to be you!" Gokudera smirked, throwing another ball.

Tsuna, crouching behind a large sea boulder smiled sheepishly at Yamamoto, "Ah, I guess I'll hand this over to you?"

"Ahaha, sure thing!" Yamamoto laughed, cheerfully touching his hand to Tsuna's to "tag" it before he ran forwards to join Gokudera.

Almost instantly, the participation of Yamamoto created a huge advantage on Gokudera's side – him being the ace baseball player of the school. Even when Mukuro joined in on Ken's side, the two still couldn't manage to beat Yamamoto and Gokudera.

"Oya~, isn't this situation a bit unfair, Ace?" Mukuro, tired and panting, called out to Yamamoto, who was expertly throwing the wet sand balls in a baseball-pitching style.

"Haha~, don't be a sore loser Mukuro!" Yamamoto smiled happily, breathing only slightly harder as he continued to pitch the balls.

The sand war went on for a little while longer before Ken collapsed into the sea, raising his hands in the air, his entire body covered in traces of wet sand as he panted heavily. "Okay…okay! I…I give up! I give up!"

Mukuro, also panting and covered in sand, rested his hands on his knees before he raised one hand in a giving-up manner as well. He chuckled tiredly between pants, "Ku…fu..fu~. I also… must give up…to you two this time…"

"Damn straight!" Gokudera smirked victoriously, before he turned towards Yamamoto, a huge smile on his face, "That was fucking awesome!"

Yamamoto chuckled as he slapped hands with Gokudera, who intertwined their fingers for one heart tripping second, before he let go again, still smiling as though nothing had happened.

But for Yamamoto, something most definitely did happen. That twinge in his chest was undeniable, and Gokudera's rare bright smile didn't help. He couldn't take his eyes off the silvernette; whose wet thin black t-shirt now clung to his slim body, clearly emphasizing his shape.

_Ugh. Stop it, you idiot. _Yamamoto scolded himself – but even so, his eyes couldn't help but keep stealing glances at Gokudera.

"Alright, losers! Pay up!" The silvernette demanded, reaching his palm out towards Mukuro and Ken who were now taking a rest on the beach beside Chikusa.

"Che. No fair, you had Yamamoto!" Ken pouted.

Gokudera wiggled his fingers, "Too bad…now pay up!"

"Fine, fine…" Ken muttered before he pulled out some money from his bag and reluctantly handed it over to Gokudera.

Gokudera counted the money, before he smiled, "Great." The silvernette then walked up to Yamamoto who was crouched next to Tsuna. He showed them the money, "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

Tsuna smiled and shook his head, "Ah, it's okay Gokudera-kun, I'm not hungry. You go with Yamamoto."

"You sure?" Gokudera asked.

The brown-haired boy nodded, "Yeah, I'll stay here with Mukuro and the others."

Gokudera hesitated for a moment, before he decided to respect Tsuna's decision. The silvernette then turned towards Yamamoto, "Let's go then, baseball idiot."

"Haha, okay," Yamamoto jumped up to his feet before he instinctually wrapped one arm around Gokudera's shoulders. Before he realized what he was doing, his arm was already on the silvernette – but Gokudera didn't seem to mind, so Yamamoto didn't remove it.

_It's just my arm around his shoulders. Everyone does that. _Yamamoto convinced himself.

The two were heading for the ice cream shop within the hotel area when all of a sudden, Gokudera noticed something, and had a new idea.

Yamamoto was confused when Gokudera slipped out from under his arm and started tugging him in a direction away from the ice cream shop. "Ah, Gokudera, what are you doing?"

"Shh. Look," Gokudera motioned over to the exit of the hotel where a few motorcycles and motorbikes were parked with a 'FOR RENTAL' sign standing beside them.

Yamamoto chuckled, "Ahaha, you've got to be kidding."

"Of course not, you idiot," Gokudera answered almost instantly, continuing to pull Yamamoto along with him. "Ken gave us quite a lot. We could rent one of these things and still get something to eat later."

Yamamoto was hesitant, "But sensei said that we're not allowed to leave-"

"Oh, seriously," Gokudera shook his head, "Don't act like you've never broken any rules." He turned towards Yamamoto, looking into those brown eyes, both hands on Yamamoto's arm, "Trust me. It'll be fun."

Yamamoto couldn't resist those emerald orbs. They were shining in a way that he'd never seen before, and he didn't want to kill that light – not when he had witnessed how broken they could look.

The baseball player sighed, before eventually, he smiled at Gokudera, "…okay."

* * *

**Okinawa, 3.24pm**

Yamamoto never really truly understood how people could be addicted to adrenaline rushes – especially when the methods were usually so dangerous. For him, baseball was more than enough. He never thought of doing life threatening sports as a hobby – sure, maybe once or twice, but definitely not on a daily basis. But on that day, Gokudera changed his mind.

The silvernette was a monster on the bike. As expected of a leading member of Dynamite, the way he drove was as daring as ever – expertly zigzagging across the roads causing numerous cars to honk at them in annoyance; accelerating way over the speed limit; taking sharp turns and drifts so abruptly the tires screeched and the side of the bike almost made contact with the ground. Half of the time, Yamamoto kept expecting Gokudera to lift up the front wheel, considering how much of a risk-taker the silvernette was on the road.

However, instead of being frightened and shocked…Yamamoto loved it. The adrenaline rush felt amazing every time Gokudera pulled a sudden, dangerous move. The wind was blowing against him, making him feel as though he was flying with the air cool against his damp clothes. Plus, Yamamoto couldn't deny that he enjoyed watching Gokudera from the back as the silvernette drove – that slim body that was hugged by his shirt along with that silver hair that blew freely in the wind. Furthermore, Gokudera's skills impressed him – especially how effortless he made each trick look.

No words were spoken, but occasionally, Gokudera would turn around to face him for a moment and grin at him, those emerald eyes sparkling – and with a flip in his chest, Yamamoto realized something.

This was Gokudera showing him part of his world – allowing Yamamoto to take a peek, a step, into a private sector of his life.

The privilege of that alone made Yamamoto's heart race uncontrollably.

After speeding through the roads for a while, Gokudera pulled up to the side before he turned towards Yamamoto, "…you wanna try?"

The grin on Gokudera's face was challenging – as daring as the way he drove – and looking at that messy silver hair, those deep green eyes and that – for once – genuinely happy expression…Yamamoto decided to take this challenge.

"Haha, sure," Yamamoto smiled, getting off the bike so that he and Gokudera could exchange seats.

Then, from behind him, Gokudera asked, "You done this before?"

Yamamoto nodded, "Yeah, I deliver sushi for my old man."

"Okay, just start driving then – I'll teach you extra stuff along the way," Gokudera said.

So Yamamoto started driving, and they were off once again. He felt a little pressured by having Gokudera with him – having just experienced how badass the silvernette was on the bike, Yamamoto couldn't help but notice how simple and slow he had been driving all this time.

But then, Gokudera did something that made his entire body immediately tense.

Without any warning, Gokudera slipped his hands around Yamamoto's waist and rested his chin on Yamamoto's shoulders, causing their bodies to be pressed up against each other – Gokudera's arms wrapped around Yamamoto's torso.

Gokudera noticed the tension, "Hey, no need to be so stressed out, idiot. It's just driving."

Yamamoto couldn't explain to him that it wasn't 'driving' that was the problem, but rather the body of a certain silvernette that was pressed up against his back.

Desperately trying to distract himself from the thought, Yamamoto focused intently on the road, diverting his concentration to driving, and not the perfect way those slim arms wrapped around him.

Unfortunately, Gokudera wasn't making anything easier.

"You see the next curve over there?" Gokudera mumbled next to Yamamoto's ear, his breath blowing down the nape of his neck, causing chills to run down his spine.

Yamamoto nodded, swallowing thickly – the grip on the handles of the bike becoming increasingly sweaty.

Gokudera continued, "We're gonna drift there."

The curve was quite far away, about two hundred meters from them.

"Go faster…," Gokudera murmured into his ear once again, his voice making blood rush right through Yamamoto's body.

_You're driving me crazy…_Yamamoto inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying – with difficulty – not to let his mind trail off to places where Gokudera's exact same phrase could be used in an _entirely _different situation.

"When you get there, twist the handle real quick," Gokudera directed him, "Wait until I tell you to turn."

Yamamoto concentrated on driving, accelerating as Gokudera told him to, until they finally reached the curve…

"Now!" Gokudera spoke, and Yamamoto abruptly twisted the handles, causing the bike to take a sudden awkward dangerous turn. The two almost crashed to the ground, but Yamamoto managed to quickly regain the balance and they were upright once again.

Gokudera laughed out as soon as they managed to past the curve, giving Yamamoto a quick hug from the back, "Woo! You actually did it!"

Yamamoto slowed down and turned to look at Gokudera, before his face unconsciously split in a smile when he saw the silvernette's laughing face.

He couldn't help it. Seeing Gokudera smile made him smile, and seeing Gokudera happy made him happy. He wanted to heal that broken empty look in those eyes. He liked the way Gokudera's body felt on him, the stray cat attitude, the rare laughter, the occasional blush that dusted those pale cheeks, the sound of his voice…everything. Everything Gokudera did seemed to strike a chord deep within him.

Yamamoto really could not possibly help it.

Even though the guilt was stinging him like a needle embedded in the core of his heart…

…he was inevitably falling for Gokudera Hayato.

* * *

Yamamoto promised himself to not hurt Hibari. He promised himself that even though he was now fully aware of his feelings for Gokudera, he would not act on those feelings – because not only would it be wrong to Hibari, but it would be wrong to Gokudera as well. He couldn't do that – especially not to the two people he now knew how much he cared for.

…if only promises were not so easy to break.

* * *

**Okinawa, 4.29pm**

"Haah-! Damn, I missed doing that!" Gokudera sighed as he threw himself onto the bed of their resort room, not caring whether there was still sand on his body or not.

Yamamoto, who had already been lying there beforehand, laughed lightly, "Ahaha, you're really good at driving, Gokudera."

Gokudera, lying on the front of his body with his face muffled in a pillow, muttered, "Duh. I'm in Dynamite."

Yamamoto – lying beside him and facing the ceiling – asked, "…you've been in Dynamite for a long time?"

"Three years," Gokudera mumbled, still half-muffled by the pillow.

_That's_ _quite some time. _Yamamoto turned his head to look at the silvernette, before he questioned curiously, "How did you join Dynamite in the first place?"

Gokudera raised his head up at that, before resting his chin on the pillow, facing the wall. "Hmm…my sister's a friend of Lal, who's the sister of Lancia, and he's the leader of Dynamite."

"Eh? I didn't know you have a sister," Yamamoto said.

"Ah, she's a half-sister – doesn't live with me anymore," Gokudera murmured, thinking of Bianchi on the day that she took off with her boyfriend. His sister never looked so happy – she had tears in her eyes when she looked back at him and waved goodbye. Gokudera was happy for her, but he also envied her a little. Bianchi found her happiness so easily, whilst he was still stuck in a hell hole with an alcoholic, abusive father.

A jab of pain attacked Gokudera, and he forced it away. He never showed vulnerability in front of anyone – but Yamamoto made it all too easy for him to crack.

Yamamoto watched as Gokudera stared intently at the wall, before he continued, "So you live with your mum and dad?"

"My mother's dead," Gokudera spoke in monotone, though he could feel the pain crawling back into him. The subject of his mother was usually so easy to brush off – so easy to ignore…but everything was different in front of Yamamoto. Yamamoto had that something about him that made Gokudera feel like he could release, and for once, give in to the pain that had been building up inside him for so long.

"Ah, I'm sorry…" Yamamoto's voice immediately softened, "…are you okay?"

Gokudera shook his head, pushing himself up to a sitting position, still staring at the wall as if he's trying to bore a hole through it, "…I'm fine."

_'I'm fine.' -_ The most common lie in the world.

Yamamoto sat up as well, turning to face Gokudera – observing him, before he murmured quietly, "…I lost my mum as well. I know how much it hurts."

Gokudera was surprised – somehow, he just assumed Yamamoto came from a complete, loving family. But now he knew that wasn't the case. The silvernette wanted to turn towards Yamamoto, but he didn't. He didn't dare to. He knew looking into those eyes would make him crumble. So instead, Gokudera kept on staring at the wall, only occasionally blinking. The pain seemed so close to him now, so close that it was surfacing – causing his eyes to burn and a lump to form in his throat.

Yamamoto continued speaking, constantly watching Gokudera, "It used to be too hard. I tried to escape. I didn't want to take it…" Yamamoto paused, looking down at his own hands before he uttered in a faint whisper, "…I nearly…_jumped_."

_Jumped. _In other words… _suicide._

Gokudera took a deep intake of breath at that, though his eyes never left the same spot on the wall. He wasn't sure how the information settled with him. Yamamoto always appeared to be so perfectly happy and complete – so unlike Gokudera – in a way that made him both attractive and alien to the silvernette. But now that Gokudera knew there was a chink – a crack – deep down inside of Yamamoto…

_Is it foolish of me to hope that he would understand…?_

Gokudera's vision was clouded now. He could feel it – the tears welling in his eyes, a blink away from falling.

"But then I realized…that I wasn't alone…" Yamamoto continued, looking back up at Gokudera before murmuring, "…nobody's ever alone."

His words struck deep, right at Gokudera's very core.

Yamamoto saw the tears in those emerald eyes that the silvernette was so desperately trying to make disappear; that broken, broken look so clear in that moment.

_Gokudera…_

Slowly, carefully, Yamamoto reached out to Gokudera before he gently smoothed his hand down the back of the silvernette's head.

Gokudera trembled, his breath stuttering as he closed his eyes and allowed the tears to fall. That one touch was all it took to finally break him open. One touch from Yamamoto's hand was enough to make him pour out every emotion he locked back inside.

"Gokudera…," Yamamoto felt his heart quaver when he saw the other cry. Seeing Gokudera completely broken like that broke _him_. He moved closer to the silvernette before he wrapped his arms around that petite body, one hand holding the back of Gokudera's head, the other around Gokudera's waist, holding him close – embracing him.

A warm rush came over Gokudera as he was folded into Yamamoto's arms, and he bit his lips as more tears fell. Slowly, weakly, he raised his hands and held on to Yamamoto's back.

Gokudera never realized how empty he had always felt until now, as Yamamoto held him and filled in the hollow spaces he never acknowledged within his heart.

For so long they stayed there, Gokudera crying, releasing, and for the first time feeling like he could fully breathe into his lungs, whilst Yamamoto held him closer and tighter every time that body shuddered. It was as though Yamamoto was trying to absorb the pain from Gokudera, to lift it off him – even just a little; even if it was only for this one moment. The fingers on Yamamoto's back gripped his shirt tight, Gokudera's head pressing onto his shoulders – and Yamamoto rolled in his lips when he felt the tear drops fall on him.

From the way Gokudera was crying – the way Gokudera clutched onto him, that small body shivering every now and then – Yamamoto could tell just how great the pain Gokudera suffered was. It wasn't just about the death of his mother – there was something more – something that made it that much more painful.

Yamamoto wondered what could have hurt Gokudera so deeply and intensely – and he was very certain that it had something to do with those finger marks on Gokudera's pale neck. Holding Gokudera closer, Yamamoto decided that if he ever found out, he would not forgive whoever did it to the silvernette.

Eventually, Gokudera slowly, reluctantly lifted his head of Yamamoto's shoulder, raising his arm to wipe his face. The tears were still falling, but it was better now – just the few final drops.

Watching Gokudera harshly wipe his own face, Yamamoto couldn't help but pull those slim arms away before he gently wiped away those remaining tears himself with a soft brush of his thumb.

Gokudera looked at him, those emerald eyes glistening, before he raised his own hand to hold Yamamoto's – which was still lingering on his cheeks.

"Yamamoto…," He whispered breathily, looking right into Yamamoto's dark brown eyes, wanting – _needing_ – to feel something from him… something akin to comfort and connection, but much more meaningful than both combined.

Yamamoto could read the message well and clear. He fully understood what Gokudera was asking for. This was it – the moment. If he could resist this, he could be assured that he would be able to keep his promises from now on. If he could resist this, he would know he had the power to keep himself from hurting Hibari…

But he couldn't. He couldn't resist it.

Not when Gokudera was looking at him that way. Not when Gokudera was crying. Not when Gokudera was so vulnerable. Not…when it was Gokudera.

Anybody else and Yamamoto wouldn't even hesitate to pull away – but it was Gokudera.

There were no more hesitations when Yamamoto leaned in and sealed Gokudera's lips with his own.

The moment their lips met, it was as though the two of them had wanted this and had been waiting for it forever.

Gokudera gasped only slightly, but closed his eyes and kissed Yamamoto back. He needed this comfort; this sense of having someone for him – someone who could reach into that part of him that no one ever even brushed upon.

Gokudera needed Yamamoto.

Yamamoto's hand on Gokudera's face moved to the back of the silvernette's head, sifting his hair through his fingers and tilting him slightly backwards. Gokudera parted his lips to take a breath, and Yamamoto took the opportunity to glide his tongue into the other's mouth. Gokudera trembled, but experimentally met Yamamoto's tongue with his own.

It was as though fire ignited between them then.

Yamamoto deepened the kiss, alternating between sucking on Gokudera's tongue and Gokudera's bottom lip, then moving back to explore the bittersweet tinge of tobacco within the silvernette's mouth.

"Nnh…," Gokudera moaned softly, his hands quivering as they found their way around Yamamoto's neck, holding onto him as one hand moved further up his neck to weave through his dark hair. Yamamoto pulled Gokudera closer, moving that slim body onto his lap and pressing it against his own. He then allowed a short breath before he kissed Gokudera once more; a growing, continuous need to claim those pink-tinted lips.

Both hearts were racing, and as Yamamoto captured Gokudera's lips time and time again, Gokudera felt like crying… because – for the first time since his mother's death – he felt truly alive. This happiness – it was _real_; so real that it was tearing him up from within.

…but happiness died all too quickly when Yamamoto eventually, reluctantly pulled back.

Because on Yamamoto's face, there was nothing but guilt as he looked into the other's eyes.

_He regrets it. _Gokudera thought bitterly. The pain came crashing back at him – just when it had managed to disappear a moment ago.

Yamamoto immediately saw the hurt on Gokudera's face, and felt even guiltier than before. "Gokudera… I'm-"

CLICK.

"Eh? Yamamoto, Gokudera-kun, where have you two… oh…" Tsuna, who had just entered the room, trailed off when he saw the position and tension between the two. Gokudera was on Yamamoto's lap, his arms still around Yamamoto's neck; whilst Yamamoto had his arms around Gokudera's waist. Their faces were far too close to each other, it was impossible not to be able to determine what just happened between them, especially judging from the way they were both panting softly with flushed faces.

More than the initial shock that his two closest friends were kissing, Tsuna felt like an intruder with the most horrible timing, "Ah…I'm sorry! I – uh – I should leave…"

"No," Gokudera shook his head, cutting Tsuna off as he abruptly got off the bed and stood up. "I'll go…" he muttered before he quickly walked out of the room, right past Tsuna. But Gokudera wasn't quick enough for Tsuna to not notice his tear-streaked face. Tsuna's eyes widened.

Yamamoto sighed heavily, putting his head between his hands, "Shit…"

"Yamamoto…are you okay?" Tsuna asked uncertainly – it wasn't often that he saw Yamamoto depressed like this. But then again, Tsuna hadn't seen Gokudera cry ever since Kindergarten school, either.

_Something really important must've happened… something other than the kissing…_Tsuna decided, before he felt like banging his head against the door…_and I had to interrupt them at the most crucial time!_

Yamamoto shook his head, "Ah…Tsuna, I'm sorry…can I have some time alone?"

"Ah, of course! It's fine! I'll go see if Gokudera-kun's okay…," Tsuna said.

Yamamoto nodded, not looking up at him, "Yeah, you should…"

Tsuna looked at Yamamoto for a moment before he eventually decided to say something, "Um…I don't know if I'm right or not, and I'm not too sure what happened between you two, but…after this, you should talk to Gokudera-kun, ne?"

Yamamoto nodded again, "Yeah… I will."

"Okay…" Tsuna rolled in his lips, "I'll go now, then." The brown haired boy took one more glance at Yamamoto, sighed, before he exited the room.

CLICK.

As soon as Tsuna was gone, Yamamoto flopped himself onto the bed, sighing with one arm over his forehead.

_…what the hell did I do…?_

* * *

**Okinawa, 4.58pm**

"Gokudera-kun…! There you are!" Tsuna called between pants when he finally found the silvernette.

Gokudera was sitting on the beach, staring out into the sea, and he turned around when he heard Tsuna's voice. "Tsuna…" He looked at him, before turning back to look out into sea, "…sorry, I didn't know you were looking for me."

Tsuna stood there panting for a few moments more, before his normal breathing eventually returned and he walked over to sit next to Gokudera. He looked at his friend with his big, light brown eyes, noticing Gokudera's obvious kiss-swollen lips. Tsuna carefully approached with a question, "Uh…do you…want to talk about it?"

Gokudera sighed, before he replied, "…I don't know."

"How are you…feeling?" Tsuna questioned.

"I…," Gokudera considered this, before he sighed once again. "…I'm not sure. There's a lot going on in my head and I'm just…," Gokudera paused, before he turned towards Tsuna, "…how should I feel?"

"Um…well…" Tsuna searched for the answer, "…I don't think there's a 'should feel' or 'shouldn't feel' about this."

Gokudera nodded, without saying anything else. The two were left in silence after that, except from the sound of waves crashing against the shore, both Tsuna and Gokudera looking out towards the sea.

After a long moment of peace, Tsuna bravely disrupted the silence, "…I think you like him."

"_No_," Gokudera answered all too quickly, before he realized what a bad liar he was. Tsuna didn't even need to mention the name, and already, only one face popped up in his mind. The silvernette turned to look at Tsuna and sighed, before he asked, "…why would you think that?"

Tsuna turned to look at him as well. "It's just…the way you look at him and the way you act around him. It's different. I can kind of see it," Tsuna replied, before he continued, "…and I don't think someone like Gokudera-kun would…uh…kiss anyone…in that way…if you didn't like him…"

Gokudera's cheeks flushed at that – and he mentally kicked himself for it. It wasn't like it was his first kiss or anything. He'd been kissed before – many times, actually. Hell, he'd even kissed Spanner before – even if it was just an experimental thing. Spanner's a guy, and that didn't spark anything in him like it did just now. Thus, if it wasn't just because of the guy or girl matter…why was it so different with Yamamoto?

Somehow, Gokudera knew. He knew the answer to that question – but he was unwilling to accept it.

Gokudera looked down, suddenly gaining interest in a sea shell lying on the sand, muttering, "Why does it matter if I like or don't like him anyway? He's dating someone. That prefect."

"Gokudera-kun…," Tsuna continued, "…I think Yamamoto likes you too."

"What?" Gokudera looked up at that, before he shook his head, "No he doesn't."

"I think he does. I can tell. He always looks at you with this look in his eyes ever since the first day you came to Nami…and when he came out to us about the bisexual thing, I thought it was about you…" Tsuna said, before he rolled in his lips, "…I was actually surprised to find out about him and Hibari-san."

Gokudera smiled bitterly, "Yeah. Well, that prefect's the real thing. With me he was just confused and-"

"I don't think so," Tsuna interrupted Gokudera, shaking his head in disagreement.

"Che. I don't know, Tsuna, and I don't fucking care…he can do whatever the fuck he wants to, I don't even give a damn…," Gokudera mumbled.

Tsuna watched Gokudera carefully, before he spoke softly, "…but you _do_ care, though."

_Damn. I hate it when he can read me like that. _Gokudera bit his lips.

The memory of Yamamoto's kiss was still incredibly clear in his mind, every detail of it buried deep into him. The way he placed his hands on him, the way those fingers ran through his hair, the way those lips moved in time with his own, the way that tongue glided over his bottom lip…

_Stop. _Gokudera quickly rid himself of the idea, momentarily closing his eyes. _Tch. Stupid baseball idiot. Just who the hell do you think you are?_

"Well…no matter what, I think you should talk to him," Tsuna suggested, "Whether you like him in that way or not…he _is_ rather special to you, ne?"

Gokudera was hesitant, but eventually, he nodded.

…_fine. You are…kind of special. But that doesn't mean you can mess with my head._

Tsuna sighed quietly as he observed the silvernette – this was a troublesome situation for all of them it seemed. _Yamamoto and Gokudera-kun and Hibari-san as well… _

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 4.48pm**

Hibari had just finished showering when he saw his phone flashing and vibrating on the table. Wiping his hair and frowning, he walked up to the table and picked it up.

[:D]

The smiley face. Yamamoto.

_I thought I told him not to call during the day…_

But even as Hibari thought that, he picked up the line anyways.

"…" The prefect kept silent as he waited for Yamamoto to start talking first, just as he always did.

[…] Strangely, today, Yamamoto kept silent too.

Almost right away, Hibari knew something wasn't right. So the Skylark sat on the bed and sighed before he asked, "What's wrong?"

[…] Yamamoto was still silent, but Hibari could hear the other's breath through the line so he knew Yamamoto was there.

"If you're not going to talk, I'm hanging up," Hibari stated.

[Ah… Hibari, wait…] Yamamoto's voice was uncharacteristically sulky.

Hibari frowned – he didn't like that tone on the baseball player. "What's wrong?" the Skylark repeated.

[I just…] Yamamoto sighed. […I just needed to hear your voice.]

Hibari narrowed his eyes, "…something's definitely wrong."

There was a long pause.

[…I can't hide from you, can't I?] Yamamoto murmured weakly.

"You're stupid if you think you can hide anything from me," Hibari replied.

Yamamoto sighed once again. [I… I did something bad. Really bad.]

Hibari leaned his head to one side, "What did you do?"

Another long pause.

_This is definitely something… _Hibari decided.

[…I'm sorry, Hibari…] Yamamoto's voice was a quiet whisper.

Hibari frowned, more confused than before, "…for what?"

_What could he have possibly done…?_

[I…] Yamamoto paused. […I really, really like you…]

Hibari softened at that, but he was still curious. Yamamoto didn't sound anything like himself. Using a calmer, gentler tone, he quietly replied, "…and you know how I feel about you."

[…I do…] Yamamoto sounded as though it was internally hurting him to say those words.

The Skylark didn't understand what was going on. "…I don't like this," He said, "I don't like hearing your voice like this."

Yamamoto sighed once again. […I'm sorry… I…]

Hibari waited.

[…can I tell you about it later…? I still need to…figure things out…] Yamamoto struggled to phrase the sentence.

Hibari rolled in his lips, before he sighed. There was no use pressing Yamamoto now. He mumbled, "hn… fine."

The Skylark was about to hang up then, but Yamamoto whispered something through the line just before he could.

[…I don't want to lose you…]

Yamamoto's voice was so faint, so quiet it was almost inaudible – Hibari couldn't even tell whether he was supposed to hear it or not. But before Hibari could say anything back, the line was already disconnected. The prefect sat there and looked at the screen of his phone, rubbing his thumb across the surface of it as he frowned…

'_…I don't want to lose you…'_

_ For him to say that… _Hibari considered all the things someone could've done wrong in order to speak that sentence, but when he thought about Yamamoto's smile, the Skylark just couldn't imagine Yamamoto doing any of those things; and even if he did, the tone of Yamamoto's voice was guilty enough to show how much he regretted whatever he'd done.

'_…I don't want to lose you…'_

That line alone already proved to Hibari how much Yamamoto cared. Surely, even if Yamamoto _did_ do something wrong… it would only be that_ one_ time – and that was forgivable. If it was anybody else, Hibari wouldn't have let them go so easily – but with Yamamoto, if it was just _once_, then Hibari was willing to forgive; no matter what the mistake was.

'_…I don't want to lose you…'_

Because – even though he wouldn't admit it – Hibari didn't want to lose Yamamoto, either.

* * *

**A/N: **You guys are so friggin' awesome! Already over 100 reviews~! xD I'm overjoyed by all your compliments, thank you so, so much! Your support really meant a lot! –cuddles-

And as you can see, the story's climbing up the intensity hill now~ :D The 8059 finally came into action (please don't kill me 8018 fans xD don't worry, this is NOT the end of 8018), and I'm really excited to write the upcoming parts! :D

So, as always, PLEASE review and tell me how you feel about this chapter~! This chappie is kind of like the launching pad for the more intense stuff, really… ;)

ps. OH, and I want you guys to tell me who you want Tsuna to be paired up with – Reborn-sensei or Enma? Or someone else who hasn't already been paired up/mentioned in this fic? CHOOSE! :D

**Beta: **…Beta has something to say MeLoNnAiSE-chan~. I can't choose between Reborn-sensei and Enma. Maybe another triangle as well? But less intense than the 8018 and 8059~.


	11. King and Jokers

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, A LOT of crack pairings, and a BIT of hetero and shoujo-ai action – don't freak out ;P

Beta-ed by **'AmbiguousThoughts**'.  
**Beta:** Hi there guys :). So. I don't know if anyone actually replied to what I said. So I have to go, sit down, and read the reviews. But just telling you guys, reviews make MeLoNnAiSE chan REALLLLLYYYY happy. She sorta freaks out in a really interesting way. Soooo, keep it up :).

* * *

**Okinawa, 10.59pm**

Tsuna told them to talk to each other, but even after dinner and several hours of free time neither Gokudera nor Yamamoto attempted to start any conversation – or any eye contact. It was as though they had rewind back to zero, and the two were strangers once again – the only difference being that they both knew that wasn't the case.

They wanted each other – that was clear to both of them now, and once it was out in the open, the fact was undeniable. Because of this, it was even more difficult for them to face each other because both of them knew full well that it wasn't possible – not when Yamamoto still had Hibari.

So there they were, sitting on separate beds in the uncomfortable silence that was rapidly becoming a familiar atmosphere. Gokudera played games on his mobile to distract himself whilst Yamamoto sat and ruminated on his bed, occasionally glancing at the silvernette who pretended to not notice.

On the other hand, Tsunayoshi sat on the middle-bed in between the two, looking back and forth, awkwardly observing his two closest friends. He could tell that they had feelings for each other – in a way, he always a hunch about it, and he wanted things to work out between them. He didn't like seeing them giving each other the silent treatment in this way – none of them did. But all the same, he understood the situation and knew that he could do nothing to help, nor was it his place to interfere.

The long, torturing silence was disrupted when Tsuna's phone beeped as a text message delivered.

Gokudera and Yamamoto looked up at the same time, meeting each other's eyes for a second, before both of them quickly turned away from each other.

Tsuna, having seen the moment, inwardly sighed before he opened the text message.

It was from Mukuro.

[Girls and alcohol all set! All three of you, my room, now.]

Tsuna rolled in his lips. The idea of breaking the rules, going into another person's room after curfew – especially a room with both guys and girls inside, and having alcohol thrown into the mix already did not hold any appeal to him. Tsuna was terrified of getting caught – all of them could be suspended or worse for all he knew. In addition, the situation between Gokudera and Yamamoto was clearly not fitting for a party atmosphere at this moment.

Trusting his theory that his friends would most certainly decline the offer, Tsuna said, "Ah…Mukuro told us to go to his room for girls and alcohol, but if you two don't want to go then-"

"Sure," unexpectedly, Gokudera replied almost immediately, causing Tsuna's eyes to widen – he was sort of expecting that all of them would decide not to go. Gokudera continued, "I need some alcohol to clear my head."

Yamamoto glanced at the silvernette for a moment, before he also said, "Yeah…I wouldn't mind drinking a bit, either."

Thus, Tsuna was left with no choice but to reluctantly follow his two friends as they headed out of the room in the middle of the night. The boy was secretly hoping Gokudera and Yamamoto wouldn't accept Mukuro's invitation, but since that was not the case, he decided he would go along anyways – Tsuna was too worried by the tension between his two best friends not to do so.

Stepping out of the room, a gut feeling told Tsuna that this was a bad idea…and it wasn't only because they were breaking the rules.

* * *

**Okinawa, 11.12pm**

"Finally, the last three fine gentlemen has arrived~," Mukuro spoke dramatically as he ushered Gokudera, Yamamoto and Tsuna into his room.

The bedroom was rather crowded with people. Chikusa was by the fridge, mixing whiskey with coke and soda; Kyoko, Haru and Chrome were sitting on the floor in a circle, all with drinks in their hands; and Ken and Bel were fighting over a packet of crisps on the sofa, already, a few empty Bacardi bottles on the table beside them.

Gokudera immediately walked up to Chikusa and grabbed a glass whilst Yamamoto and Tsuna got pulled off by Mukuro to sit on the bed with him, handing both of them a bottle of Bacardi each.

A few more bottles from that point on, was when they started to play the 'game'.

"Kufufu~, alright~," Mukuro stood up on his bed, clinking two empty bottles together to call for attention. Once everyone turned to look at him, he smirked, "Let's _play_."

"Ushishi~, play?" The blonde prince grinned.

Mukuro hopped down to sit on the bed before he started explaining, "The game is called 'King'. In my hands are ten cards for us ten people – two of them are jokers, black and red, and one of them is a King. I'll shuffle them and give them all out, and then whoever gets the King can order the jokers to do whatever he or she wants. But here's the catch: you won't know who got the jokers until the order is set, and if you refuse, you have to drink five shots of whiskey each~, kufufufu~." Mukuro chuckled, taking another drink from his bottle before he continued, "All of you must play! No exceptions!"

"Ushishi~ how could the prince not join a game with the name 'King' in it~," Bel snickered.

"All the girls are playing~," Haru immediately concluded without even consulting with the other two girls.

Tsuna wasn't too sure, being the only one who hadn't drank a full bottle yet, "Um…"

"No exceptions, Tsunayoshi-kun," Mukuro smirked, forcing Tsuna to join the forming circle on the carpet floor.

Tsuna sighed, knowing there was no way he could argue with Mukuro, "Ah… well… okay."

"Don't worry, Tsuna! If you're in, I'm in!" Gokudera called from the other corner of the room. The silvernette was probably one of the people who had drunk the most by now.

"Ahaha, sounds cool, I'm in then," Yamamoto smiled, though at the corner of his eyes, he couldn't help but notice and be concerned about how much Gokudera was drinking.

Ken and Chikusa were already sitting on the carpet, and as everyone gathered around to complete the forming circle, the game began.

"Remember, you're all in now. No backing out~," Mukuro smirked as he gave out the cards.

There was a short moment of anticipation as each person flipped over their cards.

"I'm the King~!" Haru announced, cheerfully showing her King card over for everyone to see.

"Kufufu~ alright then. Order the jokers, your majesty," Mukuro instructed, a playful smirk on his lips.

"Hmm~ let's see…" Haru considered for a moment before her face split into a smile, "I know! The red joker must kiss the black joker on the cheek!"

"Oya, oya~ starting off with something cute, hm?" Mukuro smirked, "Turn yourselves in, jokers."

For a moment that everyone flipped their cards over to reveal who the jokers were, Yamamoto and Gokudera looked up at each other – both containing the mutual feeling of not wanting the other to be the joker. But almost as quickly as their eyes met, they turned away from each other.

The cards were exposed. Chrome had the red joker and Chikusa had the black joker.

"Kufufu~," Mukuro chuckled, "Go on then, my cute Chrome."

Chrome shyly got up on her knees and shuffled towards Chikusa before she quickly gave him a brief peck on his cheek, earning quite a reaction from the rest of the group. Chikusa was as expressionless as always, his only response being a nod as he adjusted his glasses. Ken, who was sitting beside Chikusa, frowned and turned away from his friend.

"Oya, good start~. Now, the next round~," Mukuro collected back the cards before he shuffled them and handed them out once again.

This time Chrome was the King.

"Ah…," she mumbled, "The jokers kiss each other on the cheek."

The cards were exposed. But as soon as they realized who the jokers were, everyone was grinning.

"Ahaha, two girls~," Yamamoto laughed lightly at the two jokers, Kyoko and Haru.

"Oh, this is too easy for us, ne, Kyoko-chan?" Haru smiled at Kyoko, who nodded back. The two easily gave each other light pecks on each other's cheek.

"Wait a second…," Tsuna started, "So that means…two guys can also be jokers?"

"Kufufu~, you just realized that, Tsunayoshi-kun?" Mukuro smirked, "That's where the catch comes in. If you can't do it… five pure whiskey shots."

Tsuna wasn't sure whether he was more terrified of the shots or the male on male action that was very likely to occur sooner or later since the male to female ratio in the room was quite unbalanced – 2:1 in actual fact.

The next round came, and Tsuna was relieved to find out that he was the King.

"Um…well…," Tsuna pondered upon what he should order the jokers to do. He would've said kiss on the cheeks, but that was already ordered twice…

"Oi! No-good Tsuna! Order something cool!" Ken said, poking Tsuna with an empty bottle.

"Ah, okay, well um…," Tsuna desperately tried to think of what to order before he spoke the first thought that came to his mind, "The black joker kisses the red joker…on the neck?"

"Ushishi~, this just got more interesting," Bel snickered, sipping his coke-whiskey mixture, before he flipped his card over: Black joker.

A blush formed on Kyoko's cheek, "Ah…I got the red joker…"

"Hm~ come here then, you're my princess for this round," Bel flashed a wide smile, before he pulled Kyoko closer and gave her a soft kiss on the neck, lingering long enough to make the girl's face flush even redder than before.

Tsuna looked at the scene and beat himself up for ordering that action in the first place.

"Kufufu~, next round~," Mukuro smirked as he gave out the cards for the fourth round.

Yamamoto tensed a little as he flipped his card over and found that it was a black joker.

_Well…I could always drink instead…_

"Ah. I'm King." Chikusa raised his hand, before he simply ordered, "Red joker kiss black joker on the lips."

_Wha-…on the lips? _Yamamoto didn't think they would progress to this stage so quickly, but he revealed his card anyways. "I got the black joker…"

Yamamoto immediately felt a pair of emerald eyes glaring at him.

"Kufufu~, guess I'm kissing you then, Ace," Mukuro smirked, showing Yamamoto his red joker card before he moved towards him.

Yamamoto shifted uncomfortably, "Uh…I'm dating someone, so I better drink-"

"Oya~, I won't allow that," Mukuro murmured playfully before he leaned in and kissed Yamamoto full-on the lips, not allowing any time for negotiation or argument.

Tsuna's eyes widened at the action and he immediately turned to look at Gokudera – who was harshly drinking down a whole glass of whiskey and soda mixture.

_I knew this was a bad idea… _the brown-haired boy thought.

Gokudera, on the other hand, was literally pissed off.

_The fuck are you doing you fucking baseball idiot… _he slammed the glass down on the carpet as he finished the last drop.

Mukuro moved away after a short moment, smirking as he whispered, "I hope this will annoy your beloved head prefect, kufufu~."

Yamamoto smiled dryly. _Hibari already has enough reason to kill me as it is…_

The next round of cards was given out, and Yamamoto was once again stressed when he found out that he received the very same black joker.

"Oh, I'm King," Kyoko smiled lightly, before she ordered, "I'll go easy on you – just a kiss on the cheek from the black joker to the red joker."

Yamamoto sighed inwardly. _At least this one's better than the last…_

But the relief never left for long when he soon found out who held the red joker.

"I'm the red joker," Gokudera said, throwing his card on the floor.

"Ah…I'm the black joker," Yamamoto mumbled awkwardly.

Gokudera immediately glared at him once again in disbelief.

_Are you fucking kidding me? What sort of retarded, messed-up joke is this?_

Yamamoto avoided meeting Gokudera's eyes – which only resulted to pissing the silvernette off even more.

"Get on with it then~!" Ken ordered, "Don't tell me you're gonna back out from a kiss on the _cheek_?"

Gokudera turned his glare on Ken, "Of course not." The silvernette then turned towards Yamamoto, though avoiding looking into his eyes, "Go on. Just fucking do it already."

Yamamoto rolled in his lips, before he sighed and moved over to Gokudera. _Just one kiss on the cheek. That's all._

Yamamoto tried to convince himself that he was only doing this because it was part of the game and it would look strange if he didn't obey to a relatively 'light' command – but a small yet significant part of him knew full well why he was really going through with this.

It was because he wanted to. At least just once more, he wanted to feel Gokudera.

And without realizing it, Gokudera was also going through with the kiss for the exact same reason.

As Yamamoto got closer, Gokudera turned his face to one side, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he pretended that his heart wasn't beating as fast and hard as it actually was – hoping Yamamoto wasn't close enough to hear or feel it. Gokudera didn't want Yamamoto to know how much of an effect the other's slightest touch had on him.

Observing Gokudera, Yamamoto gently leaned over and softly pressed his lips on the silvernette's cheek – in a manner so slow and careful that it made blood rush to Gokudera's face. Yamamoto lingered just a moment longer, taking in the silvernette's mixed shampoo and tobacco scent before he moved away.

That lingering moment was enough for both of them to realize what they truly wanted.

Gokudera turned to face Yamamoto, looking up into those deep chocolate eyes with his own emerald ones, and as soon as their eyes locked, they knew. They knew how they felt about each other, even without words being spoken or dramatic actions being pulled. Just one look in each other's eyes was enough for both to completely understand what the other felt.

It was bittersweet as Yamamoto moved back to his seat – their eyes never once leaving one another.

The two of them almost didn't notice the next round of cards being given out – too absorbed in that moment, too unwilling to break it.

"I'm King!" Ken's loud outbreak called everyone's attention to him. "The jokers have to kiss for ten seconds!"

"Ushishi~, well, the prince is the red joker~," Bel announced, smiling in his typical Cheshire-cat way.

It wasn't until then that Gokudera realized he was the one with the black joker.

"Oh, _hell_ no," Gokudera immediately reached out for the pure whiskey shots.

"Aw~, is Dynamite too scared to kiss the prince?" Bel teased.

"No. You just disgust me, too fucking much," Gokudera spat, before he downed five whiskey shots. Bel just shrugged, snickering before he reached out for his own share of whiskey shots.

The next round came along, and this time Yamamoto was King.

"Ahaha, I'm just going with an easy kiss on the forehead," he laughed lightly, though he kept glancing at Gokudera who was now turning just the slightest bit red from all the alcohol he'd been drinking.

It was Chikusa and Chrome once again, and as Chikusa gently kissed Chrome on the forehead, Ken was agitated with anger.

"Okay! That's _enough_!" Ken yelled as he pulled Chikusa away from Chrome, "Stupid Kakipii!"

Mukuro chuckled at the two as he collected the cards and gave them out once again.

"Ushishishi~, finally, the prince got the King~," Bel spoke in a sing-song voice before he grinned, the smile splitting his face.

During this time, Yamamoto's phone beeped, and immediately, Mukuro crawled over to look over the baseball player's shoulders, reading the text displayed on the screen.

[Call if you're not asleep.]

"Oya, oya~, a love message from your dear Hibari, hm?" Mukuro chuckled, wrapping his arms around Yamamoto's shoulders.

"Ah… yeah," Yamamoto replied honestly, glancing at Gokudera who was also looking right back at him. Gokudera wasn't glaring this time, but somehow, that made it even worse.

For Gokudera, Hibari's text message was like a wakeup call.

It didn't matter how Yamamoto felt about him – nor did it matter how he felt about Yamamoto. It didn't matter whether they felt the same way about each other or not, because either way, it was impossible. Yamamoto was in a relationship with Hibari, and Gokudera knew the baseball player wasn't the type of person who would break up with someone that easily. Gokudera also had a very good idea of how Yamamoto felt about Hibari – he saw Yamamoto's smile, the way his eyes sparkled in that special way reserved only for Hibari. Even if Yamamoto might have some feelings for him, Gokudera knew it wasn't enough. The feelings Yamamoto had for Hibari were stronger than the ones he had for Gokudera – the silvernette could tell.

And damn…did the truth hurt.

"The prince orders the red joker to love-bite the black joker~," Bel announced with a huge smile.

Gokudera smirked bitterly once he saw his card: a red joker. _Perfect timing, huh._

"Ah! Haru's the black joker!" Haru said, flipping her card open.

Gokudera took another sip from his glass before he showed Haru his card with a smirk. Haru giggled before she obediently shuffled over to the silvernette.

Gokudera didn't even hesitate for a moment as he bent over and bit his lips down on the curve of Haru's neck, biting and sucking both erotically and mercilessly, causing the dark-haired girl to squirm.

"G-Gokudera-kun…," Haru stuttered, grabbing Gokudera's shoulder, her face blushing fiercely red.

Yamamoto, who was about to send a text message back to Hibari, paused as he saw the scene, fully aware of how Gokudera's emerald eyes looked intently into his own, never once breaking eye contact as he bit Haru.

Yamamoto frowned, putting his cell phone down to grab a shot of whiskey.

Gokudera inwardly smirked._ That's right, you idiot. Look at me not giving a fuck about you. Tch._

Once Gokudera was done, he moved away, not even glancing at Haru who had an obvious dark red bruise marked on her neck. The silvernette's emerald eyes were on Yamamoto and Yamamoto alone.

"Kufufu~, well this is getting more intense~," Mukuro smiled as he gave out the next round of cards, before his smile widened once he saw his own card. "And I'm finally the King~ I've been waiting for this…"

The ex-Kokuyo leader paused for effect before he gave his order, "I order the jokers to kiss...with _tongue_." Mukuro slyly stuck his tongue out to emphasize his point.

"I'm a joker," Ken muttered, flipping his card over – the animalistic blonde was still rather annoyed by the Chikusa and Chrome action a while ago.

Chikusa glanced at him, before he flipped his card over too, "I got a joker, too."

Ken momentarily looked at the megane before he pulled Chikusa into a rough, deep kiss that was obviously too passionate for just game purposes – and as though the kiss alone wasn't shocking enough, Chikusa managed to surprise everyone even more by wrapping his arms around Ken's neck. Everyone in the circle stared at the two ex-Kokuyo students, apart from Mukuro, who was chuckling by himself as usual.

"Kufufu~, I always knew they had thing for each other~," Mukuro smirked, sipping his drink and observing the kiss as though he was watching an enjoyable movie.

After the long kiss was over, the next round of cards was given out.

"Huh. I'm King," Gokudera said, flipping over his King card before he carelessly ordered, "The black joker kiss the red joker on the lips then give them a kiss mark or something…"

Gokudera wasn't really thinking about his orders, but he immediately regretted it once he saw Tsuna desperately shaking his head at him.

_Oh shit…_

"Ah…well, um…I'm the red joker…," Tsuna mumbled, nervously turning over his card.

The smirk on Mukuro's face only made it worse. "Kufufufu~, oya, what a coincidence. I'm the black joker."

Gokudera was already so pissed off at this point that he didn't even consider the consequences as he drank down two more pure whiskey shots. Yamamoto gave him a stern look from across the circle, but Gokudera decided that he couldn't care less what Yamamoto thought.

_ Why the hell should I care? Clearly the moron has someone else he should be fucking caring about, me drinking or not drinking is none of his fucking business…_

"Ah, Mukuro…um, can we not…," Tsuna tried to negotiate, but it was futile.

"Of course we aren't going to back out from this, Tsunayoshi-kun~," Mukuro smirked, before he pulled Tsuna in for a kiss. Tsuna stiffened, his eyes wide open as he tried to push Mukuro away. Mukuro chuckled into the kiss before he moved down to press a kiss on Tsuna's neck. The brown-haired boy shivered, not knowing exactly how he should feel about the entire situation.

Mukuro kissed Tsuna on the neck just enough to form a visible red mark, "Kufufu~, there you go. A kiss and a kiss mark."

Tsuna rolled in his lips, mumbling, "…I knew this was a bad idea…"

"What was that?" Mukuro wanted to know, though the smirk on his face gave it away that he already knew what Tsuna had said.

Tsuna shook his head, "Ah, it's nothing…"

Mukuro smirked before he once again recollected the cards and handed them back out.

"Alright then~, on to the next round~."

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 00.18am**

Hibari lay on his hotel bed, occasionally rolling to his front or to his side. It had been a while now since he sent the text message to Yamamoto, but there was still no reply. The Skylark wondered whether Yamamoto had already fallen asleep, or was there something else? Usually, Hibari would never have been suspicious, but ever since that phone call that sounded so unlike Yamamoto that it was worrying…Hibari couldn't help but wonder what was actually going on in the younger's life at Okinawa.

_Huh. It seems I've really got it bad…_ Hibari thought – partially pitying himself but also partially glad that he was able to feel this way again. _How long has it been…a year?_

Hibari sighed. It's a wonder how internal pain numbs but never really goes away, whereas external pains eventually heal in time as long as you stay alive. Internal pains are more threatening in that way.

_Even now, I don't know if I still…_The Skylark shook his head, ridding himself of that face he'd always been trying to forget. The face of someone who disappeared right after the first night they spent together, leaving nothing but a short note saying goodbye.

"Kyou-san, is something bothering you?" Kusakabe, who had just re-entered the room, asked in concern.

Hibari glanced at his deputy head prefect, "…no." The Skylark then slowly pushed himself up, brushing his own hair backwards as he got off the bed.

"Are you going somewhere, Kyou-san?" Kusakabe questioned as he saw Hibari picking up his cell phone and walking towards the door.

"Hn. The outdoor public onsen – there were too many people this evening," Hibari replied before he exited the room without saying anything more.

* * *

**Okinawa, 1.34am**

It was over one in the morning, Mukuro's room stank of alcohol, empty bottles were scattered all over the floor, and the game was still going on. Everyone in the room was more or less drunk by then and French kisses and upper body fondling didn't seem like such a big deal any longer. The longer the game went on the further the 'King's' orders got, and the less the jokers minded.

"I'M KING!" Ken yelled with both arms up, before he demanded, "French kiss between the jokers! Do it!"

Gokudera and Chrome were the jokers, and Gokudera wasn't the least bit bothered. In fact, Gokudera was rather satisfied with being joker – because joker cards meant more opportunities to annoy Yamamoto. The silvernette noticed that the more he kissed other people, the more Yamamoto frowned and drank – and hell, did he love torturing the baseball player. Gokudera wanted Yamamoto to feel the jealousy for once – tie him up in his shoes and make him feel the envy.

As Gokudera deeply kissed Chrome, Yamamoto just sat there with one hand on his head whilst the other held a glass of whiskey-soda mix to his lips, gulping down the drink every time Gokudera's lips moved against another person's. Yamamoto hated it. Those lips, that kiss…he wanted to be the only one to be able to claim them – though he knew how unfair that was of him. So he drank more alcohol to stop himself from thinking, but it did little help.

"Oya, oya~, that's enough Smoking Bomb~. Get off my cute Chrome~," Mukuro pulled Chrome away from Gokudera and held her protectively in his arms. Chrome – drunk – just giggled before snuggling up to her twin brother.

Mukuro had stopped giving out the cards by then, handing over the job to Chikusa instead. The megane was also drunk, but it was hard to tell because he acted exactly the same way he always did.

The next round of cards was handed out.

"Ha, I'm King again," Gokudera slurred a little as he talked, "Go on then, red joker lick the black joker's ear…and make sure it's fucking sexy."

The jokers were Ken and Chikusa again, for who-knew-how-many-times in the night, and it was suspicious to whether Chikusa did some card trick to make sure that Ken and Chikusa got the jokers every other round.

Chikusa expressionlessly licked Ken's ear, though his cheeks were dusted slightly pink. Ken responded by pulling Chikusa into a passionate kiss even without any orders.

"My, my, stop it you two~!" Haru giggled, half-covering her eyes, her face bright red both from the game and the alcohol.

At that point, an unexpected guest arrived.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

Three sharp knocks on the door. Everyone turned to look.

Mukuro raised an eyebrow, "Hm~ I'll get it. You all just continue with the next round~."

The mismatched-eyed rebel swayed slightly as he walked towards the door, but as soon as he opened it, the face of the person who stood before him nearly shocked him sober.

"The _fuck_ are you doing here?" Mukuro asked in disbelief.

The other students in the room turned to face the newcomer as well, before they all tensed when they saw the smiling face of the white-haired albino who was their Headmaster.

"Oh, that's not cute, Mukuro-kun," Byakuran smiled, tugging lightly on Mukuro's cheeks. Mukuro tried to push Byakuran out of the door, but in his drunken state, he was easily overpowered. Byakuran took the initiative to make his way into the room and immediately sat down comfortably on the empty loveseat. He smiled lightly at all the students that stared up at him, all of them half-drunk and half-terrified. Byakuran chuckled, "So, what's going on in here? Alcohol? Sex games? Go on then, tell me."

Everyone stayed silent, naturally – partly because they didn't know how to answer and partly because they were still taking in Byakuran's presence.

"Oh, you all are so adorable, blinking at me like that," Byakuran chuckled once again, "Don't worry, if you let me stay and have a few drinks, I promise I won't tell." Byakuran did a crossing motion over his heart to emphasize his point.

The other students were too dumbstruck to reply, so Byakuran turned towards Mukuro. "What do you say, Mukuro-kun? Let me stay, watch your game, and keep you all safe; or chase me out and have all of you suspended?"

Mukuro glared at Byakuran, "…asshole."

Byakuran just smiled, "You should be thanking me, Mukuro-kun, I'm doing you and your friends such a favor~."

Mukuro slammed the door shut and locked it, muttering, "…fucking perverted pedophile."

And again, Byakuran just laughed and smiled.

"Alright, ALRIGHT! So what if the headmaster's here, let's keep playing~!" Ken, too drunk and too animalistic to care about anything else but entertainment at this point, called out before snatching the cards from Chikusa's hand and handing them out himself.

"Ah, I'm King…," Yamamoto said, showing the card. He was partially worried whether one of the jokers was Gokudera, but he knew he couldn't just order something 'light' for that reason. So he stuck to the basics. "Okay, French kiss then."

Yamamoto couldn't describe his relief when the two jokers turned out to be Mukuro and Chrome.

"Ushishi~, incest~, how interesting~," Bel snickered.

Mukuro smirked, scooping Chrome up into his arms before he gently kissed her, occasionally opening his eyes to glance challengingly at Byakuran. The Headmaster's face was still plastered with a smile, but if one was to look close, they could tell that he was annoyed to some degree.

The next round came.

"Haru's king this time~!" Haru called out happily before she stood up and dramatically announced her orders, "Passionate kissing with tongue, standing up! And I want the jokers to put some acting into it! Make it sexy!"

"Ushishishi~, the prince could do that," Bel snickered as he threw his black joker on the floor.

Mukuro smirked as he copied Bel's action by also throwing his red joker onto the floor, "Kufufu~, you better get ready, prince."

Bel smiled widely, before he pulled Mukuro into his arms and kissed him in an erotic way, biting the other's bottom lip. Mukuro on the other hand was fully aware of Byakuran's eyes on him, thus, he fully kissed Bel back, wrapping his arms around the prince's neck and running his fingers through Bel's blonde hair for effect.

"Nnnh- fuck, you're so hot," Mukuro murmured breathily, just loud enough for Byakuran to hear.

Bel knew Mukuro was putting on an act, but he didn't mind. The prince enjoyed the compliment and kissing Mukuro nonetheless.

Byakuran on the other hand was visibly on the verge of breaking something as he grabbed Bel's half-empty bottle and downed the rest of it in one gulp.

After that, came the next round.

Bel was King this time. "Ushishi~, alright, the prince wants to see some making out~."

And as though fate was playing on Mukuro's side, Mukuro was a joker once again – only this time, the other joker was Yamamoto – a fact that Gokudera did not appreciate in the very least.

Mukuro swayed over to Yamamoto and wrapped his arms around the other's neck, whispering quietly into his ear, "Look, Ace, help me out, 'kay? I'm trying to piss off that white-haired jerk-face over there…"

After he finished saying that, Mukuro captured Yamamoto's lips with his own, pressing his body to Yamamoto's and moaning softly into the kiss. Yamamoto was slightly taken aback by how forward Mukuro was, but decided to keep the kiss as realistic as possible without contacting Mukuro's tongue with his own. However, Mukuro didn't just stop there. He reached over for Yamamoto's hand and pulled it towards himself before placing it on his own butt, grinding against Yamamoto in the process.

Opening his eyes, pulling back from the kiss, and looking right at Byakuran – Mukuro moaned a little once again, "Ah- mm… Yamamoto…"

By this point, Gokudera was gripping his empty bottle so hard that it was a wonder why the bottle didn't shatter in his hand. The silvernette was extremely pissed. Gokudera was the only one who had the right to make the other jealous through this game – Yamamoto didn't. Yamamoto already did that more than enough in reality with Hibari by his side.

Byakuran, on the other hand, could not stand Mukuro's attitude and how he's being touched by everyone else any longer. The Headmaster abruptly stood up and grabbed Mukuro's wrist, pulling him away from Yamamoto and dragging him out of the room – not caring even if Mukuro hit him, yelled at him, insulted him…Byakuran just needed _his_ Mukuro by _his_ side, right then and there.

Chikusa knew it was coming to this between Byakuran and Mukuro sooner or later, so he just continued to hand out the cards.

Bel was once again the King. "Hehh? Again? Oh well~, the prince is getting bored of thinking~. Just some French kissing would be fine~."

Yamamoto sighed when he saw that his card was also, once again, a joker.

But then, he saw the other person who also had a joker, and his heart skipped a beat.

For the second time in the incredibly long night, Yamamoto and Gokudera were the two jokers.

As soon as Gokudera saw Yamamoto was the one he had to kiss, the level of annoyance he had with the entire situation had reached its limits. He no longer cared whether Yamamoto was dating anyone or not, or how many consequences this next step would create.

The silvernette just stood up and walked right up to Yamamoto before he pulled the other down into a violent, teeth-clashing, passionate kiss. The kiss started with anger and envy, a battle to show Yamamoto his dominance, power and control. But as the kiss continued and Yamamoto kissed him back, the emotions put into the kiss transferred from anger to hurt…then, eventually, vulnerability and weakness. Gokudera didn't know when he wrapped his arms around Yamamoto's neck and allowed Yamamoto to hold him closer, letting Yamamoto lead the kiss, explore his mouth in that lovely, breathtaking way that he did in the very first time their lips met.

A kiss filled with such real, true emotions that it caused Gokudera's eyes to burn.

Sensing this, Gokudera realized what he was doing and he immediately shoved Yamamoto away, rubbing his lips with the back of his hand, not meeting the other's eyes. But that didn't stop Yamamoto from noticing the tears brimming in the other's emerald orbs.

A hurricane of emotions within him, Gokudera stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him, whilst Yamamoto followed shortly behind. Tsuna, worried about his friends, also got up as well and followed the two. Bel, seeing that there was no fun left here, decided to leave too.

The party atmosphere went dead after that, and the game was over…

…it was time for reality to finally kick in.

* * *

**A/N:** Leaving you with a bit of a cliff-hanger here~. To tell you the truth, this was probably the most random chapter yet – lots of mixed pairings all over the place. And it needed very little description, because most of them were crack pairings, so I managed to finish this in just one night! ;) Hope all of you didn't mind the hetero-action going on… it kind of needed to happen! Sorry! xP

And yes, the 'King' game is real and people do go very far. I've played it numerous times…never really led up to anything good though xD

So~, next chapter will be the follow-ups of what had been going on in this chapter, including some 10069, B26, KenChiku and, of course, 8059 action. And oh, the majority of you voted for EnmaxTsuna~ so that'll be in as well! :D and maaaybe a little R27 if I feel like it ;P

As always, I love you all for reading and reviewing this story! ^_^ -cuddles-


	12. Drunken Desires

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, a LOT of fan-service of the minor couples, and yes, FINALLY there is some limey action – there is a reason this fic is M rated, y' know? ;)

Anddd a major thank you to my darling beta-reader, **AmbiguousThoughts**. Me lubs you~ ;D

* * *

**Okinawa, 2.06am**

"Mmph-! Stop! Byaku-nnh!"

Mukuro was pushed up against the door of Byakuran's suite as his lips were violently ravaged time and time again, tongue and teeth clashing mercilessly, the salty coppery taste of blood present in both male's mouths. Mukuro's wrists were held above his head, locked by one of Byakuran's hand whilst the albino's other hand clasped Mukuro's face, forcing his lips to open and accept his kiss.

The younger tried to bite Byakuran's tongue, but Byakuran saw through his trick, and as a punishment for the attempt, he bit down on Mukuro's lips instead, causing the dark-haired rebel to writhe in mixed pain and unwanted pleasure. Mukuro couldn't help but return Byakuran's kiss, using it as a last effort to fight against the older. However, it was fairly clear who dominated the other.

"Agh-! Let go-! Nnh-haah…!" Mukuro let out a gasp when Byakuran pressed his knee in between his legs, adding needed attention to the forming hardness in his pants.

Mukuro bit his lips. He hated how Byakuran managed to turn him on even in the situation where Mukuro would rather punch the other's teeth out.

But it seemed as though Mukuro wasn't the only angry one this time.

"Are you so desperate that you needed to throw yourself all over everybody? Hm, Mukuro-kun?" Byakuran was smiling, but the force of his hands that gripped Mukuro warned the rebel well that Byakuran was incredibly annoyed. The albino spoke through gritted teeth, "Or am I not giving you enough?"

Mukuro, lingering in the state between drunk and sober, slurred, "Let go…"

"Oh? You seem to want it pretty badly though," Byakuran pressed his leg into Mukuro's erection once again, causing Mukuro to shudder.

"Mmm- ahh- don't…," Mukuro moaned whilst trying to tug his arms away from Byakuran's hold. Byakuran moved in to kiss him once again, but Mukuro sealed his lips tight, unwilling to open them.

Byakuran smirked, though his lavender eyes glinted with anger, "Oh, I get it, Mukuro-kun. You can let every other random asshole kiss you, but not me, hm?"

The grip from Byakuran tightened so much that Mukuro could feel the blood circulation in his hands being cut off. Bruises in the shape of finger marks would definitely appear by tomorrow.

Mukuro's head was still heavy with alcohol, and he mumbled, mismatched eyes looking at the older, "Hurts… let go…"

Byakuran hesitated only for a split second before he returned to smirking once again, "No."

After that, Byakuran's lips were on Mukuro's once more, biting it and forcing it open to accept his tongue which explored the other's mouth so deeply that Mukuro thought Byakuran was slipping his tongue down his throat. The jealousy in Byakuran was expressed thoroughly in that harsh kiss – it was a kiss to show Mukuro his possession, power and dominance; a kiss to show that Mukuro belonged to _him_ and him _alone_. Mukuro both hated it and was turned on by it all at once.

Mukuro broke the kiss to gasp for air, but Byakuran didn't allow much time before he sealed the younger's lips again, this time deepening the kiss to the point that caused Mukuro to tremble and moan into his mouth. Byakuran smirked at the response before he released his hand from Mukuro's face to start unbuttoning Mukuro's shirt.

"Ah- don't…," Mukuro panted, still weakly trying to free his arms, as Byakuran moved lower to suck on his collar bone, occasionally biting down and drawing a small droplet of blood. "Mmm-!" Mukuro bit his lips and whimpered and the pain-filled pleasure.

Byakuran's lips curved into a satisfied grin when he saw the dark bruise he left."To remind you who you belong to."

Mukuro shook his head, "No- Byakuran, stop…"

Byakuran's fingertips raked down the skin of Mukuro's back, leaving red scratch marks on the pale complexion and causing Mukuro to writhe in his hold. "You're mine, you hear me, Mukuro-kun?" Byakuran murmured, moving upwards to bite down on Mukuro's earlobe, hissing, "…you're _mine_."

_No._

Byakuran continued, licking Mukuro's ear as he spoke, "I'm warning you, Mukuro-kun, if something like that game happens again-"

_No-!_

Asserting the most power he could gain in his drunken state, Mukuro managed to pull his wrists out of Byakuran's lock before he powerlessly dropped down to the floor, sitting in a crouched position with his head held in between his knees and hands. His voice muffled and slurred, Mukuro shouted, "Stop it! Just- stop!"

Byakuran froze for a moment, taken aback by this particular response of Mukuro. The albino had never seen the other shown his vulnerability like this before – was it the alcohol doing the trick? Or was it an accumulation of feelings that had finally reached its limits?

"I'm not your fucking toy, Byakuran. You motherfucking asshole…," Mukuro muttered, fisting his own hair.

Byakuran just stood there, intrigued by this new Rokudo Mukuro that he was being introduced to.

Mukuro never wanted to show Byakuran this side of him, but once he got started, he couldn't stop, "You're such a fucking hypocrite, you know that? You go off with that Shou-chan of yours and do whatever the hell you want, not ever giving a shit about me – and then you come back all possessive and crap and you tell me that I'm your fucking possession?" Mukuro looked up and glared at Byakuran, his eyes dry and fierce, with his lips smirking in almost exactly the same way Byakuran's did, "I'm not your fucking plaything, Byakuran. You don't own me."

Byakuran thought he knew how beautiful Mukuro was before, but in that moment, he had discovered yet another level to his lover. The Mukuro in front of him now – the one that fearlessly stared at him right in the eyes as he spoke of all those vulnerable subjects with a smirk on his face and a look that threatened to kill him – Byakuran never thought he could have fallen for anyone this deeply.

Mukuro was so beautifully strong in this state – exposing his weaknesses, but without breaking down and crying. Instead, his lips smirked gracefully with his eyes looking right ahead as though he wanted every word of his to cut into Byakuran like knives. If Mukuro was going to show any pain, he was going to do it in a way that forced Byakuran to feel every hurt as well.

This was the Mukuro that Byakuran desired – his beautiful lotus flower, forever exotic and conflicting.

Byakuran's lips curved into a, for once, genuine smile as he lightly chuckled.

Mukuro's glare intensified, "What?"

"Oh, Mukuro-kun…," Byakuran slowly kneeled down on the floor as well, shaking his head and smiling, "…I give up."

"…what?" Mukuro repeated, unsure what trick Byakuran was pulling this time.

Byakuran smiled at him, looking him right in the eyes, before he spoke in a soft whisper, "You know I love you, don't you, Mukuro-kun?"

Mukuro was caught speechless.

Byakuran saw the look on Mukuro's face and let out a light chuckle once again. "Oh, Mukuro-kun, don't look so surprised."

Mukuro was still frozen in shock before he slowly narrowed his eyes, "…what sort of sick joke are you playing this time?"

Byakuran actually laughed at this response before he gently pulled Mukuro into his arms and embraced the younger, murmuring, "No tricks. No jokes. I meant what I said."

Mukuro rolled in his lips, "…I don't believe you."

The albino sighed, before he pulled back to look at Mukuro's face, before he said, "Okay. That's fine. You don't have to believe me. But Mukuro-kun…," Byakuran reached over to slide his thumb gently over Mukuro's cheeks, "…you should know that I have my eyes for no one else but you. Not Shou-chan, not Uni-chan… only you."

"I can't trust you," Mukuro mumbled, though part of him already gave in, his head resting on Byakuran's shoulder and his arms moving to wrap around Byakuran's back.

Byakuran smiled, pressing a small kiss on the side of Mukuro's head, "…you don't have to."

Mukuro didn't reply, but when Byakuran moved to kiss his lips, he didn't refuse. Nor did he complain when Byakuran eventually laid him down on the king-sized bed and continued to kiss him – not even when his clothes were removed from his lithe body, one by one until nothing was left.

Because sometimes, you just can't stop yourself from wanting to trust someone even though you know how untrustworthy they are.

* * *

**Okinawa, 2.26am**

[I can't believe you called me at two in the morning just to gloat over how you've kissed some people in a random game. Are you really that lame, Senpai? Or are you just being yourself – in other words, naturally annoying?]

"Ushishi~, I'll ignore the fact that you've just insulted the prince, Frog."

[Oh, of course, of course. Because your highness is just so generous and kindhearted – oh, I am so lucky to be in such an amazing presence.]

"Ah~, so you've finally discovered the appropriate respect for the prince?"

[That was sarcasm, moron-Senpai.]

"Ushishishi~," Bel snickered happily into the phone. Somehow, just the sound of a certain frog's monotone voice could make his face split into a huge grin.

[Why did you bother calling me anyways, idiot-Senpai? I thought you hated my guts.] Fran's voice almost seemed robotic through the line with how expressionless it was.

"I do. That's exactly the point~," Bel smiled widely.

[Oh, oops, I forgot. You're a weirdo fake prince and nobody wants to be your friend. It's okay Senpai, I understand.] Fran spoke in mock-sympathy – the kouhai never ceased to annoy the prince even through the phone.

"Ushishi~, you should feel lucky that I can't stab you right now because you're too far away," Bel threatened, though his lips were still stretched across his face from ear to ear.

[Oh no. How scary. I can feel the murderous intent even from here. Everyone save me, the psycho-prince is trying to kill meeee.] Fran dragged out his voice at the end – his sarcasm only emphasized by his emotionless quality.

"You're incredibly un-cute, you know that frog?" Bel commented.

[…and you expect me to commit suicide or something just because some random-ass idiot-prince doesn't find me cute?] Fran wanted to know.

"Ushishi~, something like that~," Bel snickered.

[Your self-obsession and vanity depresses me, senpai.] The kouhai muttered.

"Aw~, that's too bad. Deal with it, Froggy," Bel grinned in a Cheshire-cat manner.

[Oh, how I pity the ones you've kissed.] Fran said.

"They're extremely fortunate to have that privilege," Bel smiled.

[Huh. I guess that it was unfortunate then that I wasn't there to receive the oh-so-amazing royal kiss?] Fran mentally rolled his eyes.

"Ushishi~, why, yes, you did miss an amazing opportunity," Bel snickered happily. But then, the thought of kissing Fran actually occurred to him, and the prince did wonder what it would be like. After kissing numerous people today, the prince had yet to find someone who really suited his preferences, and imagining kissing Fran, with his soft-looking, pink-tinted lips… maybe those cheeks would blush a little for once? Those emerald eyes glazed over in sweetness as he ran his fingers through that pale sea foam green hair…

[…Senpai? Hello~, moron-Senpai? Have you walked into a wall and knocked yourself out of something?] Fran's voice broke through and interrupted his thoughts.

"Che. Only you would do such a stupid thing, froggy," Bel stuck out his tongue even though he knew Fran would not see it.

[Oh. You're still alive. Joy.] Fran spoke in a dead monotone.

Bel ignored Fran's reply before he spoke the first thing on his mind, "Hey, Froggy, let's kiss."

There was a long, long pause.

[Senpai…] Fran slowly uttered […are you on drugs?]

"Ushishi~, of course not, you stupid frog," Bel snickered.

[…then I must have been mistaken. My apologies idiot-Senpai, listening to your nonsense for too long may have messed up my hearing system. Just now I thought you said-]

"Let's kiss, Froggy," Bel repeated.

Another long pause.

[Senpai… if this is a joke, then you've failed. Miserably. It's not funny in the least.] Fran spoke in the same monotone, but Bel could notice the change in the way Fran talked – it lacked that sort of smug confidence Fran always slid in beneath the dialogue.

"What's this? You're scared, Froggy?" Bel's smile widened.

[…of course not, idiot-Senpai.] Fran muttered.

"Then it's settled. As soon as I go back, we'll kiss," Bel concluded with a grin.

[No. Wait.] Fran immediately stopped him, but still managing to maintain his monotone.

"Hm~?" Bel hummed.

Fran took a moment before he spoke. […why? Has a ghost possessed you? I thought-]

"I still hate your guts, Froggy, don't get me wrong~," Bel smirked.

[Then why, moron-Senpai? Have you really gone insane or something?] Fran wanted to know.

"Ushishi~, no, Froggy. It's just that…," Bel paused a little for effect, before he continued, "…the prince wants to know what it would feel like. Your taste, the way your lips and tongue move, how you'll respond when I suck on them. Whether you'll moan when I run my fingers through your hair, down your spine and press you closer until-"

[S-senpai, okay. Okay. I get it. Stop.] Fran mumbled quickly.

Bel grinned and teased, "Hm~? What's wrong, Froggy?"

[Nothing.] Fran replied immediately, before he realized that was too fast of a reply. […nothing, idiot-Senpai.] Fran repeated in a quieter voice.

"Ushishi~, so, it's a deal, ne? The first day we meet after expedition, we kiss," Bel was already anticipating the moment like a little child who can't wait to get his hands on a new toy.

[…sure.] Fran replied, trying to maintain his monotone.

"With _tongue_, of course~," Bel emphasized.

[…sure.] Fran repeated, but for the first time, he actually revealed his uncertainty in his voice.

"Ushishi~, alright then. The prince will sleep now. Good night, Frog~," Bel spoke in a sing-song voice, his smile stretching right across his face.

[Night, moron-Senpai.] Fran mumbled before he disconnected the line.

"Ushishishishi~, the prince is kissing Froggy~, the prince is kissing Froggy~," Bel snickered happily as he immaturely rolled around on his bed, his phone clutched to his chest as he repeated the same phrase over and over in the melody of a nursery rhyme mixed with the tone young children use to tease one another.

With the King game, the expedition activities, and everything that had been going on…it turned out the simplest thing as calling Fran was the best part of the prince's day.

* * *

**Okinawa, 2.27am**

"Gokudera-kun~! Yamamoto~! Hey~, where did you guys go?"

Tsuna swayed a little as he walked – his face felt hot and his head felt heavy and he was sweating quite unnaturally. He could also smell his own breath and knew it stank of alcohol.

Tsuna made a face, "Ahhh, I knew it was a bad idea…such a bad, bad idea…"

The brown haired boy looked around, "Where is everybody~? Gokudera-kun~? Yamamoto~?"

No reply came, and Tsuna could see nothing in the dark. He didn't have his room key either – it was either with Yamamoto or Gokudera, he didn't know who had it anymore, he couldn't really recall. In fact, he couldn't really remember when he'd lost his friends either – he just turned around and they were already gone.

Tsuna tried to think of where the two could be, the concern for his friends growing.

An idea suddenly popped up in his head.

"Ahh, right! Gokudera-kun was on the beach the last time! The beach – yes, the beach. That's… then that's where he should be… okay…" Tsuna discussed the topic through with himself before he started heading his way towards the beach by following the sound of the crashing waves.

"Gokudera-kun~!" Tsuna called, feeling even dizzier as he walked. He didn't know when or how he managed to reach the sand of the beach, but he did. Looking out into the sea, it looked like an endless, scary length of dark, silvery water that seemed to hide millions of creepy little things that could crawl out and drag him down with them at any moment.

Tsuna, now slightly frightened, tried calling out once more. "Yamamoto~! Gokudera-kun~! Where… where are you guys? I don't want to be eaten by the sea monsters… This is scary…"

The young boy continued to walk along the beach, staying as far away from the water as possible. Tsuna didn't even know anymore where his hotel was or which way he had to walk to go back – and the sea looked to him as though it was creeping closer and closer, ready to engulf him into its darkness.

"Hello…? I think… I'm lost… anybody?" Tsuna squeaked as he swayed along the beach, "Scary… I'm scared… the seaweed ghosts are going to eat me… they're coming… help…! Help~!"

Tsuna shouted to the sky before he tripped over an empty bottle on the sand and landed on the ground in one thud. "O-ow-!" Tsuna whimpered before he hugged himself into a ball on the sand, giving up on walking altogether, "…help? …anybody?" Tsuna closed his eyes.

He didn't know how long he was lost within the darkness behind his eyelids. Perhaps he fell asleep? Tsuna didn't know. But the next moment he opened his eyes up, the first thing he saw was blinding light right in his face.

"Ahhhh-! Sea monster! Don't kill me-! My friends are fighting, so I need to solve their problems… and, and… I'm lost! I'm really lost! Please, I'm too young to die-! Just don't kill me!" Tsuna half-shrieked and half-pleaded, clutching his head between both hands – before all of a sudden, the light disappeared and moved elsewhere, and through the darkness, a light laughter could be heard.

"Hahaha… you're funny. Calm down, it's just a flashlight," the friendly yet quiet voice called out to him, a hand patting his shoulders.

Tsuna slowly, uncertainly, opened his eyes once again and peeked at the newcomer. The stranger had deep red hair, ruffled in a similar way as Tsuna's, with soft hooded eyes the same color as his hair, and a face with band aids on both cheeks and over his nose. He stood in a slumped kind of way, and in one hand, he held a medium sized flashlight which was the source of the light just now.

"Hey, you okay? How long have you been sitting here for? I thought you were some sort of ghost – it really scared me, but then I thought you might be injured so I had to come take a look…" the red-haired stranger explained quietly with a sheepish smile. "So… you're not hurt or anything?"

Tsuna smiled back and shook his head – something about this person's atmosphere immediately made Tsuna feel comfortable. "Um… but I'm kinda lost, though… and dizzy…"

"Oh, you are? That's awful. Okay then, where are you staying? I live around here, so I can probably find you the way… probably. Hopefully," He spoke in an unsure kind of way.

"Ah… the hotel…" Tsuna tried to search for the name of the hotel, "Um… the one with the weird-looking fish on the sign?" Tsuna smiled sheepishly.

"Oh! I know that one! It's um… close by. I can… um… walk you there, maybe? I'm not really good at giving directions…" the stranger's voice got even quieter by this point.

"That… would be nice, thanks," Tsuna mumbled, feeling his heavy head weighing him down again.

"Uh… you need help standing up?" The stranger suggested, a little nervously.

Tsuna nodded and allowed the stranger to pick him up – they stumbled a little together but managed to regain balance in time. Tsuna noticed that he was around the same height as the red-haired boy.

"Whoa. You've been… drinking?" the stranger asked as soon as he wrapped Tsuna's arm around his shoulders.

"Mm-hm. First time. Big mistake. Bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea…," Tsuna mumbled.

"Yeah… you don't look like the drinking type. Explains why you were sitting like a dead zombie on the beach, though – now _that_ was seriously scary…" the stranger rolled in his lips. He then turned and smiled in an attempt to look friendly – but ended up looking half-uncomfortable, "Oh, by the way, I'm Enma. Enma Kozato."

Enma Kozato.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi… you can call me Tsuna, though," Tsuna nodded as he introduced himself whilst making sure he could remember Enma's name in his drunken state.

"Okay…," Enma mumbled as he struggled to walk Tsuna along with him. In attempt to start conversation and make sure Tsuna didn't fall asleep on him, Enma asked, "Um… so you're on a trip?"

"Uhhh… yeah. Sort of. Expedition…" Tsuna replied, trying to walk straight and not lean so much on the other boy – who seemed to be already slumping enough as it is without the extra weight. Tsuna looked at Enma's face, before he pointed out, "…you have a lot of injuries."

Enma rolled in his lips, "Uh… yeah. I'm kinda the… victim, at school. Guys like me get picked on easily…"

"Ah, really? Me too! They bully me a lot, they even call me no-good Tsuna, haha," Tsuna laughed dryly.

"Eh? They do? Well, they call me loser-Enma…," Enma admitted in a quiet voice.

"But you do have friends though, right? Ones who support you?" Tsuna asked in concern.

"Yeah…," Enma nodded, "They're really nice to me."

"Ahhh… that's good," Tsuna smiled, before he sighed, "Hahh, it's nice to be around someone who's kinda the same…"

Enma smiled a little, "You think so?"

"Mm!" Tsuna nodded, "I felt really comfortable around you since the very beginning."

"…that's nice to know," Enma mumbled a little shyly, a slight blush dusting his cheeks.

Tsuna saw the blush, and for some reason, it caused him to blush as well.

All of a sudden, the two boys were very well aware of the proximity between them and both started becoming self-conscious. Thus, awkward silence took over for the remaining duration of the walk.

"Ah… we're here…" Enma announced quietly, "…this is where you're staying, right?"

Tsuna recognized the hotel back entrance and nodded, "Ah, yes… thanks, Enma… I would still be lost somewhere on the beach if it wasn't for you."

"Ah… it's okay…" Enma's cheeks flushed once again, and he fiddled with his fingers a little before he brought up the courage to ask, "…you're staying until when?"

"Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow… why?" Tsuna watched the other.

"Um… I just want to… talk to you. You know, a little more…," Enma's eyes were glued to sand as though he was waiting for it to open up and swallow him whole.

Tsuna smiled when he noticed how Enma blushed right to his ears, before he said, "…me too."

Enma instantly looked up at that, "Ah- really? Uh- um…" The red-haired boy then looked back down again when he noticed how close their faces were.

Tsuna handed Enma his phone, "Here… just call your number from my phone. Then we can talk whenever, right?"

Enma nodded before he did what Tsuna suggested – Tsuna watched the other boy and felt his attraction to him increasingly grow. Enma was very similar to him, and it was nice to have someone who understood you for a change.

During this time, both boys did not notice the tall form approaching them from behind, until he started speaking.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi – can you explain what you are doing outside of your room at this hour?" Reborn-sensei, Tsuna's tutor, spoke in a strict voice but with a smirk that made everything all the more frightening.

"Ah- Reborn-! Uhh, sensei… I…" Tsuna fumbled for words as Enma stood there, not knowing what to do either.

"Hmm? What's this? I smell alcohol off you. Care to explain yourself, kid?" Reborn narrowed his eyes.

Tsuna did not know how to reply – he had never felt so intimidated in his life. This was probably the furthest he had gone to break the rules.

"How disappointing. I never expected this of you," Reborn crossed his arms. "You're coming to spend your time at my room tonight – now say goodbye to whoever that is."

"H-hai, sensei…" Tsuna nodded, before he turned to Enma, who quickly handed him back his phone. Tsuna then gave Enma a little wave and a sheepish smile before Reborn dragged him off and away.

"I hope you know you have a _lot_ of explaining to do tonight, dame-Tsuna…"

Tsuna swore he saw Reborn's eyes glaring at him with the eyes of a hitman at that moment – and the boy knew he was in for a whole lot of trouble.

* * *

**Okinawa, 2.29am**

SLAM.

Gokudera violently slammed the door behind him before he strode over to his bed and plopped himself onto the mattress, picking up a pillow and punching it viciously.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it-!" Gokudera cursed as he attacked the pillow before he threw it against the wall and crossed his arms. The silvernette knew he was drunk, but he didn't care. He couldn't care less about anything else at the moment – the frustration of wanting and needing something so badly when he couldn't have it was eating at him, and Gokudera absolutely hated it. Especially because he knew how close he was – so damn close and yet still so impossibly out of his reach – his fingertips dangling, a mere centimeter away from the target. The frustration boiled within him and it had nowhere to go.

"Gokudera-!" the bedroom door swung open once more, and in entered the subject of his anger – Yamamoto Takeshi.

As soon as Gokudera saw the baseball player's face, he snapped. "What? What now, Yamamoto? What the fuck are you trying to do this time?"

Yamamoto was silent, quietly closing the door behind him and watching Gokudera from a distance. He, too, was also drunk with alcohol.

Gokudera stood up, his arms tightly folded across his chest, "Why did you follow me here, Yamamoto? Tell me. What did you expect to happen? You think that I'll fall right into your arms and you'll comfort me and everything will be okay? Maybe we'll all go back to being friends and sing each other bloody friendship songs? Well, guess what, it's not going to fucking happen, dumbass – you know why? Because you started this _thing_ with me when you already have a motherfucking relationship with that prefect and I know you're never going to break up with him for me – and if you think you can have me on the sideline as a substitute then you have another fucking thing coming."

Gokudera spoke everything out loud and clear, no longer holding back, no longer caring what the consequences were. The alcohol loosened his tongue, and everything poured out of him like air wheezing out of an over-inflated balloon.

Yamamoto just stood there in the dark, letting Gokudera finish. Then, he rolled in his lips before he murmured, "…sorry."

"Sorry? Oh, that's all you can say? Sorry?" Gokudera spat. "Sorry for what? For kissing me? For dating Hibari? For making me feel so damn special for one freaking moment just to tear me down in the next? Or for making me so ridiculously happy for just one _second_ in my fucked up life just to make the pain hurt that much more when it returns? Tell me! What is it? Sorry for what, Yamamoto?" Gokudera yelled at Yamamoto, his face and eyes burning.

Yamamoto did not know what to say. So he stood there and accepted whatever Gokudera threw at him.

Gokudera continued, "You know what? Forget it. Just forget it already. Who the fuck do you think you are to make me feel this way? Everything was fine before you messed it all up. I was fine with my crappy life, but _you_ – you just had to waltz in with all your freaking smiles and make me feel like this. I could've stopped myself when I knew there wasn't any chance. But after you crossed the boundaries and showed me just how freaking _real_ and so damn _close_ everything was…" Gokudera paused to take a breath, before he continued in a pained voice, "…you made me want you that much more."

The words cut Yamamoto deep, making his heart throb. Looking at Gokudera now, that petite form standing in the middle of the room, clutching himself as he yelled at him, pouring out his emotions… Yamamoto wanted nothing else but to hold Gokudera in his arms.

Yamamoto knew he was selfish – so selfish.

"What the fuck are you trying to do to me...?" Gokudera continued in a weaker voice, "What do you want, Yamamoto? You wanted to get to know me, well hell, now you do. You know too much, even. You should never have come this close to me. Fuck, I never should have _let _you come even _near_ this close…" Gokudera looked away, "You tore down my barriers, but you couldn't take the responsibility. So now I'm left in this _stupid_ fucking _wreck_, alone in this fucking endless pain…"

Gokudera's form trembled slightly, and Yamamoto couldn't help but take a step closer to the silvernette. Even if it was the alcohol that allowed Gokudera to open up, these feelings were real. Gokudera meant what he was saying, finally exposing himself – and Yamamoto could feel it. He could feel Gokudera's hurt.

Yamamoto never felt so useless – he was the only one who could ease the pain, and yet, his position didn't allow him to do so.

"You know, it would've been much easier if I didn't know you felt the same way…," Gokudera spoke slowly now, calmer than before. "But now it's just like – like you're right _here_, but no matter how far I reach…," Gokudera reached out to Yamamoto, "…no matter how much I want you… you're just barely out of my fingertips, and it's frustrating and torturing as hell…"

Yamamoto looked at Gokudera's hands, reaching out to him, just one step away from actually touching him. It was unbearable – especially because Yamamoto knew he was in the same position. He was also reaching for the silvernette – only that in his case, it wasn't that Gokudera was too far away – but there was something else restraining him from reaching towards Gokudera.

The baseball player then slowly moved his eyes up until they eventually locked with Gokudera's emerald orbs. Gokudera wasn't crying, but the pain shone through all the same.

Pain that was caused by Yamamoto. Pain that only Yamamoto could heal.

Looking into those eyes, Yamamoto couldn't stand it any longer. Not anymore.

In a swift movement, he grabbed Gokudera's hands and pulled the petite body into his arms before he bent down and pressed his lips onto Gokudera's. Gokudera, also unable to stand the need for the other any longer, responded to the kiss, moving his arms to wrap around Yamamoto's back and up his shoulders, his fingertips and nails digging into Yamamoto's flesh.

Yamamoto pulled Gokudera closer up against him, coaxing Gokudera's lips into parting and sliding his tongue into the other's mouth. Gokudera gave no resistance as he melted into the kiss, meeting the slick muscle with his own and moving his lips in time with the other. It was as though the two were almost sharing the same breath, their hearts beating to the same rhythm.

Reluctantly, Yamamoto pulled back, brushing the silvernette's hair away from his face, his eyes looking right into the other's as he whispered, "Gokudera…"

Gokudera didn't wait for Yamamoto to finish his sentence. Instead, he reached up and sealed Yamamoto's lips once again, this time, biting gently on Yamamoto's bottom lip, indicating that he wanted more. Yamamoto responded through instinct and passionately kissed Gokudera back, tilting him and deepening the kiss in the particular way that he knew pleased Gokudera. As Yamamoto parted for breath and moved back in for another kiss, tracing his fingers through Gokudera's hair, the silvernette stumbled backwards, the back of his legs meeting the edge of his bed.

The two fell naturally onto the mattress then, Gokudera lying beneath Yamamoto, not once breaking the kiss. Yamamoto's heat transferred to Gokudera even more easily now with his weight on top of that slim body.

During yet another kiss, Gokudera moved his hands to start unbuttoning Yamamoto's shirt.

"Gokudera, wait…" Yamamoto murmured on the silvernette's lips, pecking on them as he held onto Gokudera's hands, intertwining their fingers, "We're both drunk, this isn't-"

Gokudera shook his head, his emerald eyes glazed over, interrupting Yamamoto with a gentle kiss before he breathily whispered, "I don't care…"

Both Yamamoto and Gokudera lost all reasoning after that – the two absorbed in each other and only each other; there was nothing else in the world to them at that point – both their desire and drunken state drowning them in lust and passion.

Yamamoto snaked his hands underneath Gokudera's t-shirt, his fingertips tantalizingly brushing over the other's pale skin, causing Gokudera to arch his back, pressing his body even closer to Yamamoto. The baseball player carefully moved his lips down Gokudera's jawline, nibbling slightly along the way, before settling on the sensitive area where the jaw met the neck. Sucking on that spot, Gokudera bit his lips and accelerated his pace in unbuttoning Yamamoto's shirt.

One of Yamamoto's hands roamed up to Gokudera's chest before it starting tweaking the silvernette's nipple. Gokudera gasped, automatically grabbing Yamamoto's arm, and Yamamoto pulled back slightly to look questioningly into those lustful eyes.

"Can I…?" Yamamoto whispered – his deep brown eyes almost hypnotizing.

Gokudera was breathing heavily as he closed his own eyes and nodded, reaching to hastily pull off his own shirt. Yamamoto helped Gokudera remove the material over his head before he dipped back down to suck on Gokudera's collar bone.

"Nnnh-," A soft mewl escaped Gokudera, and his jittery hands tugged on Yamamoto's unbuttoned shirt in attempt to remove the piece of clothing.

Yamamoto nodded, momentarily sitting up and taking off his shirt before he hurriedly lay back on top of Gokudera and kissed the silvernette full on the lips, no longer hesitating to meet the other's tongue with his own as he ran his hand down from Gokudera's face to Gokudera's torso. The kiss was fiery and passion-filled, almost done in a sense of desperation – as if both were scared that the other would disappear if only they were to take a second off each other.

The smell and taste of alcohol lingered in both male's breath as they parted their lips and allowed their tongues to dance together in mid-air within the short distance of their mouths. Yamamoto sucked on the tip of Gokudera's tongue before he went back to hungrily claiming Gokudera's swollen lips once more. Their heated bodies seemed to meld into each other, their contacting skin feeling a spark of electricity shooting through their veins whenever their bodies moved against one another – the high of pleasure present in the atmosphere.

"Mmph- !" Gokudera moaned into the kiss when he felt Yamamoto's hips grinding against his erection, causing blood and heat to pool down to his abdominal area.

Yamamoto seemed to have felt something similar, and as Gokudera draped his arms around Yamamoto's torso to grind that hardness against him once more, and the delicious friction sent chills running down both of their spines.

Yamamoto broke their kiss to gasp for breath, a trail of saliva lingering between their wet lips before it broke as Yamamoto moved southward to start peppering kisses down Gokudera's body.

"Nnh…," Gokudera whimpered when Yamamoto wrapped his lips around one of his nipples, his hands clawing down on Yamamoto's back when he felt that tongue flick the taut nub. Yamamoto observed the silvernette's response, rolling his lips around the pink nipple once more before he trailed down even lower, sucking and kissing down Gokudera's pale, supple stomach, eliciting soft moans of approval from the other.

Eventually, Yamamoto's lips reached the waistline of Gokudera's dark jeans – so, _so_ close to the obvious tent in the silvernette's crotch.

Teasingly, Yamamoto nibbled the soft flesh of his lower stomach, but not moving any closer to the place where Gokudera most wanted his attention. The swell of his arousal was almost becoming too painful.

"Shit…," Gokudera, flushed and wanting, groaned, biting his lips, before he took the initiative to undo his trousers himself, unable to endure it any longer. Yamamoto chuckled at this, giving in and brushing those small trembling hands away before he undid Gokudera's trousers, pulling both the jeans and boxers down at the same time.

Yamamoto slid the jeans down Gokudera's smooth, milky thighs, freeing the silvernette's aching need. The baseball player never thought the image of another male's member would've excited him, but he found himself marveling at Gokudera's length – pale and smooth, just like the rest of his body, the tip dribbling with smears of pre-cum.

Yamamoto's fingers twitched.

Gokudera fisted his hands on the bed sheets – the cool air of the room against his flesh was causing him to shiver. Plus, the lack of attention to his throbbing member was frustrating him to no ends.

"Come here…," Gokudera spoke through gritted teeth, pulling Yamamoto back up towards him into another desperate, intoxicating kiss. Yamamoto responded to those bruised lips, sliding his arms underneath Gokudera's back.

Gokudera bucked his hips upwards to rub his exposed erection to Yamamoto's clothed one – the fabric of Yamamoto's pants only adding to the heavenly pleasure. Yamamoto was intrigued by the writhing form beneath him – panting and arching up towards him, cheeks blushing darkly, swollen wet lips emitting mewls that sent blooding rushing right down to Yamamoto's crotch.

"Mm- fuck, _more_…," Gokudera groaned with need, viciously grinding his hips against Yamamoto's – but the friction alone just wasn't enough for his impossible need. Thus, during another lips-bruising kiss, Gokudera reached one hand downwards before he wrapped it around his cock and gave it a few quick pumps – more pre-cum leaking from the tip as the silvernette moaned into Yamamoto's mouth.

Yamamoto pulled back from the kiss, noticing Gokudera's actions before he found himself watching Gokudera, intrigued. Gokudera bit his lips as he thrust into his own hand, his fingers wrapped around the slick member and moving in frantic motions.

Observing Gokudera drowning in ecstasy, Yamamoto decided he didn't want to just be an observer.

Yamamoto wrapped his hand on top of Gokudera, momentarily stopping the movement. Gokudera looked up at his with desire-glazed eyes, licking his drying lips before he breathily asked, "…what?"

Yamamoto rolled in his lips and murmured, "I want to…," and motioned towards where his hand was positioned, squeezing Gokudera's hand gently.

Gokudera understood immediately – and the thought alone sent exciting shivers through his body. He nodded quickly before he removed his hand and wrapped his arms around Yamamoto's neck. The silvernette whispered lustfully into Yamamoto's ear, "Do it…"

Yamamoto, both nervous and excited, carefully wrapped his hand around Gokudera's pulsing cock, experimenting different angles before he found the one that he was most confident with. Then, he started moving his hand up and down, slowly at first, adding medium pressure to the flesh.

"Mm…," Gokudera sighed approvingly, weaving his hands through Yamamoto's hair, "…harder."

Yamamoto obeyed, increasing his pace and pressure, occasionally thumbing the leaking slit – the dripping pre-cum only easing the fluidity of the movement. Gokudera moaned as ripples of pleasure rushed through his body. This was nothing like the usual masturbation – the unexpected rhythm and foreign size, texture and warmth of the hand exciting him and further pushing him into euphoria.

Yamamoto based his performance on Gokudera's responses, and whatever he did that made Gokudera bite down on his neck or grip his hair, he made sure to repeat, earning more whimpers of pleasure from the silvernette. Gaining confidence, Yamamoto picked up his speed, feeling Gokudera thrusting in time with his hand.

"Nnh- fuck… so good… ah- nngh…," Gokudera panted heavily.

Yamamoto watched Gokudera carefully, the silvernette's voice and reactions arousing him that much more. Licking his lips and brushing them over Gokudera's, he whispered, "One sec…"

Gokudera almost whined in protest when Yamamoto removed his hand. But then, he was interested to see what Yamamoto was planning to do. The silvernette watched as Yamamoto sat up and started unbuckling his belt before he pulled down his pants and boxers, freeing his own, obviously erectile member. Gokudera immediately looked away, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden – and yet he still couldn't help but steal glances at Yamamoto's length – which he noticed was slightly thicker than his own.

Gokudera bit his lips as he watched Yamamoto stroke himself a few times, those deep chocolate eyes closing in pleasure as he emitted a husky groan – one that caused Gokudera to shiver in anticipation. Then, Yamamoto dipped back down to kiss Gokudera's lips once more, smiling gently as he murmured, "Ready…?"

The silvernette didn't understand what Yamamoto was saying, but it soon became clear to him when he felt Yamamoto's body rest its weight down on him again – both males hissing when their erections slid against each other.

Yamamoto then wrapped his hand around both of their members and started pumping them together whilst thrusting his body at the same time, creating delicious, _delicious_ friction that almost sent Gokudera over the edge on the first thrust. Subconsciously, Gokudera arched his back up against Yamamoto and bucked his hips in time with the other as well, adding to the pleasure of the movement and earning a pleasured groan from Yamamoto.

The two coupling bodies delved themselves into pure pleasure then, driven by instinctual and almost animalistic desire and lust. They kissed time and time again, tongues mingling both between lips and in mid-air, moans and groans sent from one mouth to the other. One of Gokudera's hand clenched firmly on the bed sheets whilst the other gripped onto Yamamoto's shoulders, nails clawing into him, raking blaring red marks on that skin.

"Agh- fuck! Nnnh-!" Gokudera uttered incomprehensible words of pleasure, his eyes shut tight, drawing closer every moment.

They were breathing so heavily that they couldn't kiss anymore, but Yamamoto still lapped gently at Gokudera's lip and sucked on the skin of Gokudera's neck, still wanting to claim all of the silvernette.

"Gokudera…," Yamamoto groaned through gritted teeth, feeling his orgasm near. "Unh- Gokudera, I'm close…"

Hearing Yamamoto's deep, guttural voice was enough to drive Gokudera over. His entire body tensed, his hands gripping madly on whatever it was holding onto, as his body shuddered and strings of white liquid shot out over his stomach. "Yama- nnghh-!"

"Nnh-!" Yamamoto soon followed, his mind blanking out for a moment as he came over Gokudera's body as well.

Making sure not to hurt Gokudera, Yamamoto collapsed on top of the petite form, both males panting heavily and sighing as the effects of their orgasm died down. Yamamoto kissed Gokudera's cheek before he rolled himself off the silvernette, absentmindedly picking up Gokudera's hand and ever so gently peppering soft kisses all over Gokudera's palm, wrist and fingers – treating it as though it was the most precious thing in the world.

Gokudera gazed at Yamamoto, absorbed in his actions. He used his free hand to wipe himself off with the blanket before he edged himself closer to Yamamoto, looking into his eyes. Yamamoto looked up to face him too, and after a short moment of eye-contact, the two melted into a soft kiss, brushing their lips against each other as though to apologize for all the bruises it had caused earlier.

Yamamoto sighed softly when they eventually parted, and he wrapped his arms right around Gokudera's back, folding the slim body into his own, whilst Gokudera draped his arms around Yamamoto's neck and rested his head on Yamamoto's shoulders.

In that intimate position, the two fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

**A/N:** I swear, this chapter is filled with fan-service – just brimming over the edge with it :3 And yes, it's not full on butt-sex lemon (YET) but I guess this little lime number is enough to satisfy you perverted fangirls for the time being? X)

Please, 8018 fans don't kill me! –hides- I know there has been a lack of Hibari and 8018 lately, but do not fear~ you'll have your dose soon enough ;)

Again, just so you know, me lubs you all for reading and reviewing~! You guys are awesome :D


	13. Selfish

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **it's back to fluff and swearing… and the entrance of a certain someone x)

My beta: **AmbiguousThoughts** – thank you once again, you lovely person~ :D

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 2.06am**

Two hours had gone by, and still no missed calls or texts from Yamamoto.

Hibari stood there staring at his phone, his hair dripping wet, body only covered by a loose yukata. His fingertips were shriveled slightly from staying in the onsen and the shower for too long, but Hibari didn't care. Those dark, eagle-like eyes blinked absentmindedly in deep thought.

_What is up with him…?_

This kind of behavior was unlike Yamamoto. The sophomore was usually trailing after him like an overexcited little puppy – and Hibari took that attitude for granted; which was probably why it was more frustrating to see Yamamoto in a down state – especially because Hibari had no idea what the cause of it was. If the prefect were in the same area as Yamamoto, he would've gone right up to him and gotten the story out straight. But in this situation, not only was Yamamoto far away, but he was also…out of sight. Absent. If Yamamoto didn't answer his phone, there was no way Hibari could contact the other.

Nothing annoyed Hibari more than the feeling that he couldn't do anything – that horrible helpless feeling. It happened to him once before. The person disappeared into thin air without a single warning and no trails left behind. No addresses, no numbers, nothing…but one single piece of paper that ensured the fact that he was gone for good.

'Goodbye'. That one word made everything seemed so invaluable. All of their memories, their feelings… everything disappeared with that single word on that single note.

_'I won't ever let you go.'_

_ But you did._

'_I love you too much.'_

_But you left._

'_I can't live without you.'_

…_liar. Lies – they were all lies. _

_I should've known better than to trust those words – too sweet, too unreal. Something so close to heaven… I should've known such things couldn't exist. Not in my life._

Hibari closed his eyes and sighed. It had been a while since he last thought about 'him' – and it had been almost a year since they last saw each other. Things had changed since then. Hibari got stronger – and Yamamoto had entered his life. It took a while to break down his thickened walls, but the baseball player managed to do it somehow.

And even though he would never admit it… Hibari was grateful.

Yamamoto had that something about him…that certain, special quality that made people feel alive around him – that aura and optimism that seemed to light up the entire world. If Hibari was ice before, then Yamamoto was akin to the powerful bright energy of the sun that gradually melted Hibari until his frozen limbs and muscles began feeling once more.

'…_I don't want to lose you…'_

Hibari sighed, remembering the younger's sulking voice. But even if he wanted to call, Hibari knew fully well that he was never one for comforting others. Most likely he would depress Yamamoto even more if he tried. Plus, it was over two in the morning – clearly not the appropriate time.

_He might've fallen asleep before I texted him. _It was possible – but somehow, a gut feeling within Hibari didn't believe in that theory.

Hibari rid himself of the thought – closing his locker before he walked over to the towel shelf, picking up a towel to dry his hair. Everything was silent – so quiet the prefect could hear his own breathing – exactly how Hibari liked it.

Ever since he was younger, the Skylark always hated being crowded by people. Being the young master of the Hibari clan, he was always surrounded by servants and other families who would come up to him in attempt to impress him. The excess attention was suffocating – he preferred being alone and independent.

CLICK.

Just when Hibari was enjoying his personal alone time, one of the shower doors behind him clicked. The Skylark was mildly surprised – the reason he came here at this time was because he didn't expect anyone else but him to be around the onsen area.

Sighing – slightly dissatisfied that someone managed to disrupt his solitude – Hibari continued to dry his hair without turning to see the other male. The young prefect couldn't care less about who the newcomer was – he didn't have any interest for the person who dared interrupt his moment of peace.

But that was before he heard that voice.

"Kyouya…?"

_'Kyouya.'_

There were only a few people in his life who would dare to call him by his first name.

Andthere was only one person who ever called it with that tone of voice.

Hibari's heart dropped to his ankles – entirely forgetting to breathe.

_It can't be…_

The Skylark immediately spun around to look at the owner of that too-familiar voice, and the moment he saw his face, Hibari's body seemed to stop functioning altogether.

Standing before him was a tall man with golden blonde hair. His body was only covered by a single towel that wrapped loosely around his waist, leaving his top half exposed and still dripping wet. That toned torso was tattooed with intricate patterns from the neck, trailing down one arm and his sides until it disappeared beneath the towel. Those deep, warm mocha eyes were staring right at Hibari with a look of both disbelief and something else Hibari didn't dare acknowledge.

"_You…_" Hibari managed to find his voice once again – coming out in a tiny whisper.

It was him. It really was him.

The man who first made his heart complete, before shredding it to pieces…

…Dino Cavallone.

* * *

**Okinawa, 8.59am**

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-!

Yamamoto woke up with a throbbing headache – the alarm screeching from his mobile phone only amplifying the mad ringing in his skull. Groaning, Yamamoto threw his arm over towards the phone and shut down the alarm, his eyes peeking open to check the time.

On the screen, he noticed that he had one draft message unsent.

Squinting at the bright light, he checked the message. It was a reply to Hibari's text, but his own message box was still empty.

[Call if you're not asleep.]

"Wha-?" Yamamoto mumbled – he couldn't remember seeing this message, and as he racked his thoughts in search for the memory, his headache pounded his mind even more.

"Ugh…" Yamamoto groaned as he flipped his body over and pressed his hand over his forehead. His breath, he noticed, stank of alcohol – whilst the bed sheets were smeared with something that looked very much like dried semen. Frowning, Yamamoto also realized that he wasn't wearing anything under the blanket.

_What…? _

Yamamoto was confused – but everything slowly came crawling back to him in blurred segments of memories. The King game, the drinking, the kissing, the alcohol…then back to the room with Gokudera, Gokudera shouting, and then…

…_oh. _

_Shit. Not good._

As soon as Yamamoto remembered what he had done with Gokudera last night, everything became clear to him. Why he was naked, the smears on the bed… and Yamamoto realized that once again, he had done something that he told himself he shouldn't. True, both of them were rather drunk last night, but it should never have led to something as intimate as that.

Looking at the shining mobile screen with the text draft to Hibari, Yamamoto was further reminded of his guilt.

He never should have done it. Why couldn't he stop himself? Everything that happened last night…it was driven by emotions that he shouldn't have. Not when he was bounded to another. This would only further complicate things between him and Gokudera – and Yamamoto couldn't even imagine how much this would hurt both the silvernette and Hibari. Regret washed over the baseball player like a tidal wave, and Yamamoto groaned once more as the hangover headache continued to attack him.

_What do I do now…? How should I act? _

_What about Hibari – how can I face him now? Should I even let him know? That would be bad. But if he finds out later then it'll be even worse. _

_ Crap…why did I even do it?_

_ …_

_ …and where is Gokudera?_

Turning to look around the room, Yamamoto finally noticed that the subject of his concern was nowhere to be seen. But then, he heard the sound of the shower faucet and figured that the silvernette was in the bathroom.

Forcing himself to sit up on the bed and pull on his trousers, Yamamoto sat there with his head in his hands, unable to work out what he was supposed to do. Facing Gokudera right now would be extremely difficult, not to mention awkward. But Yamamoto knew he couldn't prevent the inevitable. He would have to come around it sooner or later – and he would hate to have this tension and stress linger; especially between him and Gokudera.

No matter whether what happened yesterday was a mistake or not, Yamamoto now understood that there was no doubt Gokudera was important to him – even though he still did not know what position Gokudera stood in his life, he was certain he didn't want to lose his connection with the silvernette.

The sound of the shower died down. The faucet had been turned off.

Yamamoto took a moment to take a deep breath and gather his strength before he slowly stood up and made his way towards the bathroom door. Standing in front of the doorway, he could hear Gokudera's movements within the bathroom – it made the situation even more real and more nerve-wracking.

Inhaling deeply, Yamamoto closed his eyes.

…_we have to do this. Sooner or later – I will have to face him._

_Whatever is done is done. I can't change that. _

…_but at least I could fix this. Find some way to make it work. There must be a solution somehow…_

Rolling in his lips and gathering his courage one more time, Yamamoto knocked on the door.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

Through the wooden door, Yamamoto could hear Gokudera's sharp intake of breath. Shadows overtook the light slits beneath the door, indicating that Gokudera was standing right on the other side.

For one silent moment, the two of them stood there – on each side of the door way, the wooden plank the only object between them.

Yamamoto broke the silence, "…Gokudera."

There was no reply, but the shadows beneath the door wavered slightly.

Resting one hand on the door, Yamamoto murmured, "…can I come in?"

A long moment passed, before eventually, the click of the doorknob could be heard – signaling unlock.

Yamamoto sighed, before he carefully opened the door, preparing himself for the worst: knowing that he might as well lose everything he ever had with Gokudera…and knowing that he wasn't ready for it.

…_why did I even do it?_

But as soon as the door eventually swung open and Yamamoto saw Gokudera's face, he understood why.

Gokudera was standing there with those slim arms crossed over his chest, biting his lips, his emerald eyes looking away. His damp silver hair was tied up, and he was only wearing a pair of dark, torn jeans – the top half of his body, still sprinkled with drops of water, exposing its pale, smooth complexion – with the exception of a few scars along that torso.

It took seeing Gokudera in that moment for Yamamoto to realize why he did everything last night. Not only did Yamamoto find Gokudera absolutely beautiful – but Yamamoto was intrigued by Gokudera as a whole: personality, attitude, flaws…everything. Everything of Gokudera attracted him to the silvernette. Ever since the first time they met, that broken look within those deep green eyes had unconsciously captured Yamamoto, and he had wanted to get to know this person and help remove that shattered look behind those eyes.

But the more Yamamoto found out and the closer he got…the more he wanted.

Yamamoto didn't know when or how it happened – but before he knew it, he wanted to claim Gokudera as his own, wanted to be by the silvernette's side, and wanted to learn him through and through. He wanted to be that one person who knew Gokudera more than everyone else – the one person who Gokudera depended on. He couldn't stand seeing Gokudera in pain. He couldn't stop himself from desiring. Everything happened simply because the person was no one else but Gokudera.

He cared for Gokudera – cared for him in a way that was beyond mere friendship.

_I won't let you go. I can't. Not after all this time._

Gokudera, on the other hand, was getting more and more agitated by Yamamoto's silent stare, until he couldn't take it any longer. He turned towards Yamamoto and started, "Look…what happened last night-"

Silently, and without any warning, Yamamoto stepped closer to Gokudera and wrapped his arms around that petite body, embracing him, cutting Gokudera off.

Gokudera, shocked, froze in the embrace. Then, he slowly shook his head as Yamamoto held him closer, though he did not push away. Softly – almost weakly – he mumbled, "…don't."

_Don't make it harder for me._

Yamamoto didn't listen. Instead, he pressed gentle kisses on Gokudera's head and slowly down the side of his neck, raising one hand to sift through Gokudera's damp hair.

"Yamamoto…" The silvernette trembled, closing his eyes and whispering, "…you can't do this." Yamamoto rested his cheek on the silvernette's head before he murmured, "I know…but, Gokudera…"

He leaned back slightly to look into Gokudera's eyes, which were looking right back at him.

_I really can't lose you…_

He continued, "…I can't stand it. I just can't stand this feeling of…wanting you…"

Gokudera rolled in his lips, looking away. _You can't say that. Not now. Not in your position._

Yamamoto moved his hand to Gokudera's neck where it met the jaw line before he murmured apologetically next to Gokudera's ear, "I'm sorry…"

Gokudera bit his lips before he said, "You're selfish."

Yamamoto nodded, "…I know."

"I know what you're trying to do," Gokudera continued, "After you say all of this to me, I'm supposed to give in to you like a stupid, love-struck little girl. Then, you'll keep dating that prefect of yours whilst you have me as your secret affair…"

Yamamoto couldn't argue because he knew, to a very large extent, Gokudera was right.

"I'm not an idiot. I'm not stupid and blinded enough to agree to that sort of crap. If you expect me to just give in, you're wrong," Gokudera muttered.

But even as he was saying this, the silvernette still could not bring up the strength to pull away from Yamamoto's arms.

Yamamoto looked at Gokudera and decided that he wasn't about to let him go. He couldn't and he wouldn't. Gokudera mattered too much to him – he couldn't stand losing what they have now. Thus, Yamamoto said, "Are you sure? After all this, you can go back to being normal friends with me?"

Gokudera avoided looking at him in the eyes as he replied, "Yes. I don't…I don't even feel that much towards you. Don't be so full of yourself, moron."

_Bullshit. I feel more than enough. I feel too much. _Gokudera clenched his fists.

Yamamoto saw right through the lie, "Gokudera…"

"What?" Gokudera snapped.

"If you really mean that…" Yamamoto moved closer.

_I'm sorry. I'm not letting you go._

He murmured on Gokudera's lips, "…push me away."

"Wha- mm…" Gokudera's sentence was cut off when Yamamoto gently sealed his lips with a tender kiss.

Gokudera was reluctant, but he just could not bring himself to push away. Yamamoto's hand trailed down Gokudera's spine as the others lips coaxed his own into moving in time. The kiss was soft, sweet and ever so passionate – Yamamoto running the tip of his tongue along the seam of Gokudera's lips, and Gokudera allowing entrance to his mouth, meeting that tongue with his own.

_Selfish huh…? That's an understatement. You knew there was no way I'd be able to push away – not this kiss and not you._

It felt natural kissing Yamamoto – as though there was nothing more right to do in the world. Slow and sensual, their lips parted and met time and time again, until Gokudera was weak in Yamamoto's arms – holding onto to him and panting softly, his face flushed.

Yamamoto braced Gokudera close, gently pecking on the spot on Gokudera's neck that was marked from yesterday.

Gokudera muttered, "…so damn selfish…"

"I'm sorry…," Yamamoto murmured before he kissed Gokudera once again, unable to stop himself. Even though he knew it was wrong, even though he knew about the consequences…but Yamamoto just could not resist the silvernette as long as he was still within reach. Not anymore.

Gokudera closed his eyes.

_Push him away, you idiot. Just push him away and everything will be over. He would never hold me or kiss me or look at me that way again. It will be all over…_

…_damn it. I can't. I don't want it to be over._

_Baseball idiot…who the hell are you to make me become this stupid…?_

_This. This is stupid. If I give in, it will only make it worse later on. I'd be a moron to let that happen._

"Gokudera…," Yamamoto breathed, pressing Gokudera closer against his body and peppering soft kisses down Gokudera's jaw line and neck, one hand rested on the small of Gokudera's lower back whilst the other carefully supported the back of Gokudera's head, gently fisting his hair.

Gokudera looked at Yamamoto's face, whose eyes turned to meet his own. Those dark chocolate eyes were so warm and filled with passion, care and apology – almost pleading Gokudera to agree to this wrong-doing.

The silvernette sighed.

…_I don't care. I don't fucking care anymore. _

Gokudera rested one hand around Yamamoto's neck, the other on Yamamoto's face, before he pulled him in for a deep, breath-stealing kiss…and as soon as their lips met this time, all hesitations, thoughts and everything else seemed to dissolve away, far into the fading background.

No guilt, no worries, no regrets, no Hibari, no abuses, no problems, no one else…just the two of them – Yamamoto and Gokudera – together.

And in that moment, it was all that mattered.

* * *

**Okinawa, 10.37am**

"Gokudera-kun! Yamamoto!" Tsuna called out as he clumsily made his way through the crowd towards his friends.

"Tsuna! I am so sorry for locking you out yesterday… Where did you go?" Gokudera asked, concern written all over his face.

"Oh, it's okay… Reborn-sensei, um…found me a place to sleep," Tsuna smiled dryly.

"Ah, sorry for the trouble," Yamamoto smiled apologetically, ruffling Tsuna's hair.

Tsuna shook his head, "No, really, it's okay…"

"I still feel like I have to make it up to you, though…how about I buy you some drinks?" Yamamoto asked with a smile.

Tsuna nodded, "If you want to…"

"I want root beer," Gokudera stated.

"Hai, hai," Yamamoto smiled before he jogged off to the drinks' store nearby.

As soon as Yamamoto was gone, Tsuna glanced nervously at Gokudera before he questioned, "Um…Gokudera-kun, so…how are things between you and…?"

Gokudera immediately felt heat rush to his cheeks, "We're…good, I guess. There's no need to worry."

"That kiss mark…is it Yamamoto's by any chance?" Tsuna asked, noticing the dark purple bruise on Gokudera's pale neck.

Gokudera didn't reply to this question – but the dark blush on his face was enough of a response for Tsuna.

_Damn you baseball idiot…_

The brown-haired boy smiled. He was glad about how things turned out between his two friends, even though it was still awkward to imagine them doing all sorts of…things. However, the forbidden subject of Hibari was still definitely lingering in the air – but Tsuna decided to leave it unspoken.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi," at that moment, Reborn appeared behind the two of them.

"Ahh-! Reborn-!" Tsuna jumped, subconsciously hiding beside Gokudera.

"I thought I made it quite clear that you'd be under my watch all day today." Reborn said, narrowing his eyes at the young boy.

Gokudera crossed his arms, "Oi, Sensei, what suitable reason do you have to-"

Tsuna cut Gokudera off, "Um, it's okay, Gokudera-kun! I, um…agreed to it."

Reborn raised his eyebrows, "If so, leave your friends and follow me."

"Hai, Sensei…," Tsuna mumbled, following behind his tutor. Gokudera was about to argue, but Tsuna waved his hands, telling Gokudera not to do anything rash.

Gokudera reluctantly nodded, understanding. However, when Tsuna turned around and revealed a red mark on the back of his neck, Gokudera frowned.

_If I remember correctly, nobody kiss-marked him there in the King game…_

_ So that must mean…_

Gokudera's eyes widened. _Oh, that bastard! How dare he-_

"Eh? Where did Tsuna go?" Yamamoto came jogging back towards him, holding one bottle of orange juice and one bottle of root beer.

"Tch!" Gokudera clicked his tongue, snatching the root beer from Yamamoto's hand and quickly drinking it down.

Yamamoto chuckled, wondering what could have pissed off the silvernette. Gokudera was almost like an angry little stray cat whenever he was annoyed – Yamamoto found it absolutely adorable.

"Ushishi~, why, someone's gotten off the wrong side of the bed this morning." Bel appeared beside them, snickering in that signature way of his.

"Go away, Bel," Gokudera groaned.

"Ushishishi~, the prince just thought that he would grace you two with his almighty presence," Bel grinned. "Oh, by the way, Sensei told the prince to tell everyone to get on the buses already."

"Ah, okay. Thanks, Bel," Yamamoto smiled.

"My pleasure~," Bel spoke in a sing-song voice before he walked off, half-skipping as he hummed a creepy yet pleasant tune, frequently pulling out his mobile and smiling widely at the screen.

"Haha, well he seems happy," Yamamoto noted as he made his way towards the car park with Gokudera.

"Psycho-freak," Gokudera muttered – a comment to which Yamamoto just laughed.

Ever since that morning, the two seemed to have returned to their normal behaviors towards each other, but they both knew something deeper ran between them. Occasionally, Yamamoto's hand would brush against Gokudera's, and their eyes would meet for that one lingering moment that confirmed the bond that was beyond friendship between them. The subject of 'Hibari' naturally became taboo. Neither Yamamoto nor Gokudera spoke of him or even mentioned something related to the prefect – so that maybe, just for now, they could pretend that there were no problems waiting for them – no consequences of their relationship. Right now, it was just them, together, with no one else – and they would cherish this time as much as they can.

Soon enough, the two got to the car park area, and as they were waiting to put their luggage in the bus, Yamamoto spotted the three ex-Kokuyo students walking towards them.

"Oh, look…," Yamamoto raised his eyebrows when all of a sudden he saw Ken pecking a very quick kiss on Chikusa's cheek.

Gokudera frowned, "Whoa. When did that happen…?"

Yamamoto laughed, "Ahaha. Last night, I guess? Mukuro always said that they had a thing for each other, though."

"Huh, no shit," Gokudera nodded, noticing the way the ever-so-stoic Chikusa managed to blush slightly. Then, he also noticed, "Hey. Why the hell is Mukuro walking like that?"

Yamamoto looked over to Mukuro, who was walking in a half-limp half-hobble with Chrome Dokuro beside him, supporting him. It was rather strange seeing Mukuro, who always walked with an arrogant stride, to be hobbling along in an almost painful manner.

"Hey, Mukuro, what's wrong?" Yamamoto asked as Mukuro got closer.

"Hm~? Why, Ace, nothing's wrong," Mukuro smirked in his usual way, but it could still be obviously seen that Mukuro's body was hurting.

"Then why are you walking like your back's killing you?" Gokudera wanted to know.

At that comment, Mukuro's cheeks blushed darkly. The rebel tried to cover it up with a chuckle, "Kufufu~, all I could say is that I blame it all on one _certain _somebody."

"Hm? Someone managed to hurt you? Wow, that's impressive," Yamamoto said.

"Impressive _indeed_," Mukuro forced a smile, before he tucked his luggage in the lower cabin of the bus.

The ex-Kokuyo then painfully made his way over to the bus door, where a certain white haired headmaster was standing with a smile, all too sweet, on his face. Those lavender eyes were almost sparkling.

"Need help getting up on the bus, Mukuro-kun?" Byakuran smiled teasingly.

Mukuro glared at him accusingly, "You suck."

Byakuran chuckled, "Why, yes, I do…but only Mukuro-kun's though." He winked.

"Bloody perv…" Mukuro hit his shoulder, but it still didn't wipe off the smile from his face.

"Oh, you know you love it…," Byakuran murmured seductively beside Mukuro's ears, lowering his voice as he spoke, "At least, judging from your moans last night…"

"_Shut. Up._" Mukuro hissed – his mismatched eyes were glaring so intensely that if it were anybody else but Byakuran, holes would have been bored into the person.

Byakuran, clearly enjoying this, caressed the younger's cheek gently with his thumb, "Hope I wasn't too rough on you… You were just so _tempting…_ I couldn't hold back…"

Mukuro groaned in annoyance, pushing Byakuran out of the way before he struggled to get himself on the bus. Byakuran chuckled happily before he grabbed Mukuro and helped the younger up, stealing a quick kiss on the back of his hand.

Mukuro rolled his eyes, but he still couldn't stop himself from blushing every time he was reminded of what happened last night.

Later on, after everyone was seated, the bus took off – leaving Okinawa and heading back towards Namimori.

Tsuna was forced to sit next to Reborn, the young boy so tense that it was a wonder why he didn't breakdown underneath the pressure. Mukuro was sitting next to his twin sister, Chrome, with the headmaster Byakuran sitting in front of them, always turning around to tease Mukuro. On the other side of the bus, Ken and Chikusa were sitting next to each other, acting like they usually do – although their hands were secretly intertwined beneath a packet of crisps. Kyoko and Haru were also beside each other, giggling about how fun last night had been. Bel, sitting behind the girls, was alone this time but with a smile wider than any other as he continued to text a certain kouhai on his phone. Then, there was Gokudera and Yamamoto, sitting together. Gokudera had fallen asleep – his head unconsciously resting on Yamamoto's shoulders – the baseball player also asleep.

Despite most hangovers in the students, the atmosphere in the bus was, undeniably, oozing with romance.

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 10.37am**

Hibari sat silently on his bed, leaning against the wall, a pillow in his arms. He had sat in this very same position last night – fallen asleep – and eventually woke up; but no matter how much time had passed, the shock and the memories did not leave him.

The situation that occurred last night by the onsen was still fresh in his mind…

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 2.18am**

"Kyouya…?"

"_You…_" Hibari could not believe it. Seeing Dino standing here before him after one whole year of not even knowing whether he was alive or dead; one whole year of desperately searching for him…and then he just managed to appear right then and there – purely on coincidence.

Dino looked different. He was taller, his blonde hair longer, that body more toned, that skin more tanned, but more than anything, he had that major intricate set of tattoos that stretched down the length of his left arm and body.

Hibari frowned. He never thought Dino was the type of guy who would get a tattoo – especially not one as large and eye-catching as this…and yet, the tattoos suited him so well, accentuating his shape and making him even more attractive than he already was.

Dino, on the other hand, looked just as shocked at seeing Hibari after all this time. They stood there, staring at each other, taking in the existence of each other.

Time could do a lot of things to people. In the one year that they haven't seen each other, the two had almost forgotten what it felt like to have the other so close – had almost forgotten all the minor details, all the feelings that could be created in the presence of the other. It was as if all the faded memories were brought back to vivid colors once again – the true, freshness of the image finally clear.

Dino couldn't take his eyes of Hibari as he murmured, "…how have you been?"

Hearing Dino's voice brought back all sorts of memories that Hibari had forced away – crashing into him like a tidal wave. Hibari avoided meeting those warm caramel eyes as he mumbled, "Fine."

After that, there was an awkward moment between the two. So many questions they wanted to ask each other, so many things they wanted to say… but no words came out of either's mouth, afraid that shattering the silence would disillusion the other's existence. It was unreal for the both of them –meeting in the most unlikely situation.

Hibari didn't want to be the one who started the conversation, but curiosity got the better of him. He mumbled, "…where have you been?"

"I was in Italy," Dino murmured, his eyes never once leaving Hibari's face.

_Italy? His birth place, huh… _Hibari thought, still not meeting Dino's eyes. He wasn't sure whether he was ready to look into them – unsure whether they would bring back too many memories, too many feelings.

Dino had been Hibari's lover for two years. They met in Namimori High School when Hibari was a freshman and Dino was a gap student, working in the medical unit. Hibari got in a lot of fights, so they met frequently in the Nurse's office. Dino was always the one who took care of Hibari's wounds, and soon enough, one way or another, they fell for each other – their personalities cancelling each other out in the best way possible.

Throughout their two-year relationship, they were in love. They knew each other thoroughly, and they understood each other better than anyone – their weaknesses, their strengths, the way and the reason they do the things they do. Dino was the first person who ever reached Hibari's deepest, most sensitive part – the one who was able to crack him open, learn his ways and make him melt right into his arms. From someone who never thought he could care or feel so much for somebody, Dino managed to make Hibari feel all those emotions for him. Dino was, with no doubt, the Skylark's first love.

When it came to the summer when Hibari was moving from a sophomore to a junior, they were closer than ever. So, so close, that Hibari allowed Dino to take him. They spent the whole night making love, kissing each other so passionately, clinging on to each other as though to never let go, Dino whispering a thousand words of all the emotions that he felt for the Skylark. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

But then, in the morning, Dino was gone – gone for good – leaving nothing behind but his scent on the bed sheets and a short note, saying nothing else but the word 'goodbye'. There were no explanations, no information on how long he would be gone or how to contact him. He just…disappeared. No matter how much Hibari searched, he couldn't find him. He didn't even have any idea whether Dino was alive or not. For the first few months, it killed him. Losing Dino affected him like nothing ever did. Surely, he got better later on…the wounds healed – but, of course, the scars never left.

Standing there, with Dino in right front of him then, was so difficult for him. He didn't know whether to punch the guy in the face or to pull him in for a tight embrace.

Dino could read Hibari's emotions. He could see how those fingers clenched and unclenched, how stiff those shoulders were, and he knew how Hibari felt. Seeing Hibari was hard for him, too. He wanted to explain so many things, but he was certain Hibari wouldn't hear him out. He knew the Skylark – he understood what Hibari was thinking. What he did to him back then…it was unforgivable.

Yet, seeing Hibari confused and shocked like that…Dino couldn't help but want to hold him.

"Kyouya…," Dino softly whispered, taking a step towards the young prefect.

Hibari tensed at the way Dino called his name, taking a step back before he gasped slightly when his back touched the cold lockers behind him.

It hurt Dino to see Hibari distance himself from him in this way, but he completely understood why. Dino took another step closer, before he carefully rested his hand on Hibari's shoulder.

Hibari immediately grabbed Dino's wrist, though he did not push the hand away. However, he was gripping hard enough to almost cut off Dino's circulation, and he was still refusing to meet Dino's eyes.

_Warm. _Hibari recognized the heat from Dino's palm. His body still remembered this touch as though it was embedded into his memory.

Dino watched Hibari's reaction, before he slowly moved his other hand to gently touch Hibari's cheek, brushing the damp strands of hair away from his face.

Hibari looked at Dino, then. His sharp, dark eagle-like eyes half-glaring at the other – it was difficult for him to meet those eyes that were so familiar to him. Especially because they were looking at him in the exact same way they did one year ago…

It was as though Dino had caught him in a trance, and he couldn't even move or speak.

"Kyouya…," Dino breathed his name, running his thumb tantalizingly gently over Hibari's cheek and looking right into his eyes as he spoke, "…_I missed you_."

Hibari's heart lurched so hard that it was almost painful.

Dino moved even closer, so close that their bodies were mere centimeters away from each other, their lips almost brushing against one another, feeling each other's warm breath. Dino continued, "Kyouya, I…I still-"

That was it. Hibari couldn't take it anymore – he couldn't bear to hear what Dino was about to say. Thus, the Skylark quickly pushed Dino away and walked off, escaping before he could hear the words that would shake him even further.

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 10.39am**

Hibari sighed deeply, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

_Don't let it get to you. Don't you dare let him get to you again…_

Trying to distract himself from all the confusions and questions building up within him, Hibari grabbed his mobile phone.

Still no calls or texts from Yamamoto.

The Skylark sighed once again before he threw the phone to the other side of the bed.

_Why did you come back? Why now?_

'…_I miss you.'_

'_Kyouya, I…I still-'_

_And to say that as well… _Hibari bit his lips.

"…selfish."

* * *

**A/N: **Okay~! So yes, I think most of you already expected this, but there will be D18 in this fic as well. But, like I already said many times before, the 8018 is definitely NOT over. There will be a lot more of both 8059 and 8018 to come, I promise you. So I hope you guys don't mind Mr. Cavallone entering the story to stir things up a little~ ;)

So sorry for the late update… but, good news, two more weeks and my exams are over! :D So I'll be able to update faster, hopefully, then~! :3

As always, let me know what you think! Thank you for reading and reviewing~! ;D


	14. Pretending

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, abuse, parental conflict.

Beta'ed by **AmbiguousThoughts** – thank you for dealing with me~! ;D

* * *

**Namimori High School, 1.08pm**

Watching the bus drive into the school was like watching their lives being transported back to reality. Okinawa was the dream – anything and everything was possible. Namimori, on the other hand, was the awakening truth of their situation. Even the Namimori High School itself symbolized a factor of this disillusionment.

_School. Prefects._

This was reality.

_Prefects. Head Prefect. _

_Hibari Kyouya._

The image of the school's Skylark was impossible to avoid whenever Namimori High School came into context – equally impossible as it was to escape from reality.

Gokudera observed Yamamoto – the baseball player was sleeping soundlessly, his head tilted to one side – and he wondered. He wondered what it was about this person that made him so special. Was it his athletic traits; his optimistic attitude; his bright, unwavering smile? Or was it his warmth, both in his body and in his heart, which had melted even the strongest, coldest ice bergs?

But then, Gokudera realized that no matter how great those characteristics of Yamamoto were, they did not fully contribute to Gokudera's feelings for him. It was, instead, the way Yamamoto allowed Gokudera to be who he was around him that strengthened their connection to beyond friendship.

Gokudera had never felt this way towards anybody before. It was a strange giddiness bubbling inside of him, making him both afraid and excited at the same time. This was a big risk he was taking, to allow someone to come so close to him – especially when he knew that this 'someone' was being shared.

_Hibari Kyouya._

In certain aspects, Gokudera could understand why Yamamoto liked him. The Skylark was isolated and contained, yet fierce and striking. He had an air of beauty and grace about him that was so masculine yet feminine at the same time. That slim body of his held great strength – so much that he seemed unbreakable, leaving people wondering whether there was that untouchable vulnerable side to him at all.

Knowing Yamamoto, Gokudera figured that the baseball player had found that vulnerable side to the prefect.

_Just like how he managed to reach my hidden weaknesses and crack them open._

Gokudera and Hibari – the two were similar in the way that they were both ice bergs that Yamamoto's sunlight had managed to melt.

"…Gokudera?" The soft voice of the baseball player called Gokudera's out from his own thoughts. Those dark brown eyes of his were looking at the silvernette both curiously and sleepily. "What are you thinking about?"

Gokudera leaned his head on Yamamoto's shoulder and mumbled, "I don't know."

"You do know. You're just not telling me," Yamamoto murmured, turning around to plant a soft kiss on the top of the silvernette's head.

"Fine, fine…" Gokudera rolled his eyes and crossed his arms before he muttered quietly, "…you."

"Hm?" Yamamoto tilted his head to the side to look at Gokudera's face.

"You," Gokudera repeated, and shrugged. "I was thinking about you, you baseball idiot."

Yamamoto smiled and chuckled lightly, "That's unexpected – not that I'm complaining. Why were you thinking about me all of a sudden?"

Gokudera shrugged again, "I don't know."

Yamamoto nudged him, "Come on…"

Gokudera sighed. "…it's just… I don't know. I was thinking about you…"

"Mm-hm." Yamamoto nodded.

"And me."

"Mm-hm." Yamamoto smiled.

"…and Hibari."

Silence fell.

The subject of the Skylark had been taboo up until now – but Gokudera decided that the topic would have to come up sooner or later, especially now that they were back in Namimori. It wasn't fair on anybody to just pretend as though nothing wrong was going on when something so obviously was.

"…how many days do we have until the juniors return from their expedition?" Gokudera broke the silence with a question.

"One more," Yamamoto mumbled quietly. The guilt was back, eating up at him once again. He was never the type of guy who played around with other people's feelings and he always avoided hurting others at all costs. But this time was different. He had choices but it was impossible to decide – and the more time he took, the more pain he would cause.

_One more day, huh. One more day left of ignoring the truth._

Gokudera knew it was stupid of him to put up with this sort of… _affair_, for a lack of better word. Before, the silvernette would have thought of this act as moronic; labeled it as 'mentally retarded masochism' – but now he was beginning to understand why some girls were willing to go through with such idiocy.

Those emerald eyes glanced up at Yamamoto.

_Because of him. _

_He is worth it. He is worth being a complete, utter fool for._

Yamamoto's expression was written all over with guilt – but not regret. Not anymore. Even so, Gokudera could tell that the baseball player was incredibly troubled by this situation.

_One more day…_

…_oh, to hell with it._

All of a sudden, Gokudera surprised Yamamoto by pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. He turned around and stared at Gokudera in confusion.

Gokudera lightly pushed Yamamoto's head, "Idiot. Don't look so depressed. We have one more day…" The silvernette then leaned closer to Yamamoto and murmured, "…I'd rather we make the most of it."

Yamamoto sighed, leaning his head on Gokudera's own and intertwining his fingers with him. "…are you sure?"

Gokudera nodded, lacing their fingers tighter, "I don't want to be away from you." _Not yet._

"Me neither," Yamamoto admitted, before he added, "…come over to my place later?"

The bus had entered Namimori High School and was coming to a stop.

Reality was here – but unaccepted. Not until tomorrow.

"You bet."

_Because even though it would only make it hurt more afterwards – their limited time together was worth it. _

_No matter how short or pretentious that time had to be._

* * *

**Namimori, 1.43pm**

"I'm home," Gokudera mumbled as he slid out of his shoes – the phrase was more of a habit than anything else. This place was, officially, his house; but Gokudera didn't believe that it was his home to any extent. There was a very clear difference in the definitions of the two terms, and Gokudera felt it every single time he stepped into this place. As always, the house stank of alcohol of all sorts. It was just as the silvernette had expected – the same old wrecked habitat of an unemployed drunken alcoholic.

But what Gokudera _didn't_ expect, was the presence of somebody else.

"Welcome home, Hayato-kun," the voice was low and raspy with an ever-mocking tone.

Gokudera immediately looked up, but the person who greeted him was not his father. Instead, it was a man in his twenties wearing loose torn jeans and a pale, screened t-shirt. His bleached blonde hair was sticking up all over the place and greasy with excess hair wax. His face was rough with stubbles of beard and metal studs that looked more or less corroded with rust.

"Takumi," Gokudera recognized him immediately as his father's usual alcohol supplier – he had run into him once or twice before in the past few years.

Takumi chuckled in his throat, "Oh wow, you actually remember me? How cute, Hayato-kun."

Gokudera frowned, "Where is he?"

"Who? Your dad?" Takumi questioned even though he already knew the answer, "Where do you think? The sofa. Chisato's trying out some pretty sick new shit right now – you wanna join?"

"Like hell I would," Gokudera muttered, walking past the guy.

However, Takumi grabbed his wrist and yanked him back, "Aw, what's the rush, Hayato-kun? Talk to me. Let's have a nice little chat. We haven't met in a while, have we?"

Gokudera peeled those rough fingers off him, "Don't touch me."

"You've grown quite a lot since the last time I've seen you…" Takumi chuckled, his hands creeping around Gokudera's shoulder. Those hands then dipped and slid effortlessly down Gokudera's slim waist, "I must say, you're so much cuter nowadays…"

The silvernette wriggled away from Takumi in disgust whilst the guy only continued to chuckle.

"Or shall I say…so much _sexier_?"Takumi smirked as he grabbed Gokudera's ass.

Gokudera instantly gripped Takumi's wrist and twisted his arm, causing the guy to wince and gasp slightly in pain – but it still didn't wipe the smirk off from his face.

"Touch me again and I'll fucking _murder_ you," Gokudera growled, twisting Takumi's arm once more before he pushed the guy over to the ground. The silvernette then stepped over him and made his way into his room, leaving the alcohol supplier lying there in pain and chuckling. It was creepy.

SLAM.

Gokudera slammed the door shut behind him and shuddered. There was always something about that guy that was just so _wrong_. The way those filthy hands felt, the way those eyes roamed his body… Gokudera shuddered again in utter disgust.

"Meow~."

The soft mewling called Gokudera's attention to a certain cat who was lingering by the window.

"Uri…" Gokudera smiled lightly and walked over to the cat, picking it up and observing it left and right. "You're a bit thinner, huh? I'll find you some tuna or some shit after I finish packing, 'kay?"

Gokudera rested Uri down on the bed before he started unpacking his things and exchanged them with new clothes for the week. Once again, he planned to stay over at Lancia's for as long as he could – anywhere but his own house; anywhere as long as it kept him as far away from his father as possible.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

As if on cue, Chisato was banging harshly on his door as per usual. It was almost becoming some sort of routine – one that Gokudera would never adjust to.

"Oy, Hayato! Open the damn door…" Chisato's voice was not as slurred today, but Gokudera knew better than to think of it as an improvement. He knew full well that the reduced drunkenness was only the period when the alcohol was taking time to kick in.

"…what do you want?" Gokudera muttered, not bothering to move from his packing space.

"What? What the fuck did you just say? Speak up, brat!" Chisato banged on the door again.

Gokudera clenched his teeth and stood up, speaking at a louder volume, "What the hell do you want from me?"

The silvernette could almost feel his father's rage increasing on the other side of the door.

"You do _not_ speak to me like that, you ungrateful little bastard…" Chisato growled.

Gokudera ignored him and continued to hurriedly finish off his packing, determined to get out of the house.

BANG.

"Hayato! You dipshit! Open the motherfucking door right now!" Chisato was becoming more angered by the second – and from the sounds of it, he was currently using a bottle of some sort to smash at the door. "Now! Hayato! Open it! "

BANG. BANG. BANG.

"Like hell I would," Gokudera mumbled, trying his best at ignoring the noises at all costs. If the time away from Namimori had taught him anything, it taught him that as long as his father couldn't reach him, he couldn't hurt him.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG – CRASH.

The sound of the glass bottle breaking was followed by many curses and swearwords from Chisato. Gokudera couldn't help but smirk – all this time, he had been stupid enough to open the door because he was afraid the only physical barrier between him and his father would break apart. But now he had realized that the door was tougher than he gave it credit for.

For once, Gokudera felt some sort of safety in his house.

But of course, Chisato ripped that away from him in the following seconds.

"Oh, so you think you're smart now? Not opening the door so I can't touch you, huh?" Chisato was talking right up close to the door, speaking in a voice that was not half as drunk as he usually was, but with much more threat in it than his typical roars and yells.

Gokudera paused the hand that was about to zip his bag close. This was somewhat new. Chisato never spoke to him with such calmness before – but instead of comforting Gokudera, it terrified him.

"Well let me tell you something, asshole, I won't even touch you. Not even if I can," there was a smug tone to Chisato's voice that made the content of his sentence suspicious. "Ya wanna know why?"

Gokudera remained still – he did not know what to expect from this man.

But even as he prepared himself for the worst, Gokudera was not ready to hear the following words that left his father's alcohol stained mouth.

"I'm selling your body."

Gokudera had stopped breathing altogether.

"You see, Takumi is a good friend of mine and he's been interested in you for a while – I don't fucking understand why, but he does. Your mother's money's been running low, so I agreed to sell your body to him per night. Isn't that great, Hayato? I've finally found some good use to your worthless life and, hell, you don't even have to do anything. I can't hit you now either 'cause Takumi wants you in your best condition. Isn't that just fucking fantastic? Eh, Hayato? Everything seems to be working out just fine for you, ain't it, fucktard?" Chisato was roaring with laughter now – the cause of his amusement a mystery.

Gokudera's mind was no longer functioning on thoughts – his brain had stopped registering information ever since his father informed him of his so-called 'use' to his life. The silvernette was now on autopilot, basing his actions on pure instinct – and every instinct in his body was shrieking at him to get the hell away from this place as soon as possible.

Hurriedly, Gokudera threw his luggage out through the window before he started climbing out as well. Uri mewled roughly at him, seating itself stubbornly down on his foot.

It took a moment of considering before Gokudera decided that he didn't want to leave his cat anywhere near this house, either. Thus, he picked Uri up and carried the cat through the window, jumped off the roof, and landed without harming himself or Uri.

Then, he picked up his large luggage and he was off once again – this time might as well being the last time he ever set his foot on his father's land.

* * *

**Namimori, 2.59pm**

"Gokudera…?"

Yamamoto stared at the silvernette who stood there fuming before him in front of his house, a large luggage bag on one shoulder with an orange-yellowish cat poking its head out of the zipper.

"You look…really, really angry. What happened?" Yamamoto wanted to reach towards Gokudera and hold him to calm him down, but part of him was afraid that Gokudera would just snap – that, and the possibility of him actually being the source of Gokudera's fury held Yamamoto back from embracing the silvernette.

Gokudera didn't reply, so Yamamoto tried again. "…you wanna come in and cool off a bit?"

To Yamamoto's relief, Gokudera responded to this offer with a curt nod.

As they walked into the house, Yamamoto felt like taking the luggage and cat off of Gokudera to rid him of some weight, but on second thoughts, he decided not to because he, of all people, knew that Gokudera particularly disliked being treated like a helpless dependant.

Therefore, instead, Yamamoto led Gokudera into the kitchen and poured him some water. Gokudera silently took a small sip before he rested the glass down on the table and didn't touch it again. Yamamoto stood awkwardly beside Gokudera, not knowing what to do – whether he should attempt conversation, touch him, or just stand there in the unnerving quiet.

Fortunately for Yamamoto, he didn't have to ponder for long. Tsuyoshi, Yamamoto's father, came walking into the kitchen, whistling a lighthearted tune, both hands holding bags of groceries.

"Ah, Gokudera-kun, you're here earlier than I expected," Tsuyoshi greeted the silvernette who gave him a quiet, polite bow in return. Tsuyoshi smiled, "I'm making you kids something especially good for dinner today – expedition must have been tiring, eh?"

Yamamoto thanked his dad, whilst Gokudera noticed once again how obviously similar the two Yamamoto's were. Apart from the physical features, Tsuyoshi also had that goodhearted optimism that was thoroughly passed onto his son. Seeing this, Gokudera couldn't help but wonder whether there were any traits of his father in him – if one existed, he would make it disappear without a single ounce of hesitation.

"Ah, pop, we're gonna head upstairs to my room, 'kay?" Yamamoto told his dad, needing some alone time with Gokudera – who still had his fist clenched tightly on his luggage with teeth occasionally gritted. It was as though there was an active volcano boiling inside of him, on the verge of eruption.

Tsuyoshi nodded and patted his son's back, "Alright. I'll call you when dinner's ready."

With that, Gokudera headed straight to Yamamoto's bedroom, the baseball player following shortly behind. As soon as the silvernette was in the room he sat down on the bed and plopped his luggage to his side, releasing Uri out of the bag and setting it down on the floor. The cat mewled as if to complain about being stuffed in the bag for so long, before it stretched itself and curled on the floor. Yamamoto closed the door behind him and carefully made his way over to the bed and sat next to Gokudera.

It took a long moment of silence and a lot of courage gathering before Yamamoto spoke up. "Hey… What's wrong?"

Gokudera clenched his fists.

_Everything. Everything is fucking wrong with my fucked up life right now. Every bloody thing._

Yamamoto noticed, and gently rested his hand on top of Gokudera's, speaking calmly, "…you know you can tell me about it. I'm here for you."

Yamamoto squeezed his hand softly as if to emphasize his point, and Gokudera could feel Yamamoto's warmth right through his hand. Slowly, he unclenched his fist, and Yamamoto took this opportunity to lace his fingers through Gokudera's.

Gokudera stared at their interlinked hands, Yamamoto's on top of his own.

_Warm. _

_So warm, careful and gentle – so unlike every other thing I've grown used to; unlike every other thing that has gone wrong._

_Yamamoto…_

Yamamoto noticed Gokudera trembling slightly, and he knew what he had to do. He looked at Gokudera, "Come here."

Gokudera could feel his heart quaver and in a sudden rush of emotion, he threw his arms around Yamamoto's shoulders and hugged him as tightly as he could. Yamamoto wrapped his arms around Gokudera immediately, pulling the silvernette onto his lap and holding that petite form close to him. Gokudera clung to him like a child, his fingers almost digging into Yamamoto's flesh.

They were so close that they could feel each other's heart beat – Gokudera's agitated, frantic thumps against Yamamoto's calm, soothing rhythm.

Gokudera could feel his emerald eyes burning, and he closed them as he leaned his head on Yamamoto's neck, inhaling deeply, relaxing in Yamamoto's hold. Like magic, Gokudera's pent up anger melted away as though Yamamoto had sucked out all of the bitter poison from him.

Yamamoto gently held Gokudera's head as he kissed the back of Gokudera's neck at the roots of his hair. Gokudera sighed contentedly. Yamamoto smiled, "…better?"

"Mm. Much better," Gokudera murmured before he opened his eyes – his eyelashes slightly dampened with traces of tears – tears of anger, frustration and fear. But all that seemed to have dissolved away in Yamamoto's arms.

"You wanna talk about it or…?" The way that Yamamoto asked that question was strangely not intruding at all. It wasn't a question asked out of mere curiosity, but it was an offer which allowed Gokudera to choose whether he wanted to express his emotions or not.

The silvernette shook his head, "I just want to forget about it."

Yamamoto did want to know who or what had managed to anger Gokudera so much, but if Gokudera insisted to let the subject drop, he is willing to drop it – or at the very least, put it to rest.

"You have some crazy shit going on in you, you know?" Gokudera mumbled, still in Yamamoto's embrace.

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

Gokudera shrugged, "Dunno. It's just this thing about you. Makes people at ease. It's kinda weird – like mad voodoo magic or some crap."

"Isn't that a good thing? I mean, making people at ease." Yamamoto smiled, pressing a kiss to Gokudera's head.

Gokudera lifted his head off from Yamamoto's neck and looked into Yamamoto's eyes – those warm chocolate eyes – murmuring, "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Without any warning, Yamamoto leaned in and kissed Gokudera's lips. It was meant to be a short, soothing little act, but as Gokudera responded to it, the gentleness grew into passion that deepened the kiss. Wet lips moved in time with each other, their warm breaths merging, and before either of them knew it, they were lying on top of one another on the bed. However, they were unbothered – breaking away from the kiss shortly only to breathe in some air.

The two were lost in their connection – the emotionally vulnerable Gokudera easily sinking into Yamamoto's soft kisses and embrace. They forgot about time and surroundings altogether, the need to take in air gradually becoming a nuisance.

That was, until a certain feline figure interrupted them.

"Meow~," Uri mewled loudly as it made its way up onto Yamamoto's back.

Yamamoto paused to pull back from Gokudera's lips. The silvernette was panting faintly, his cheeks dusted with a light blush.

"Ah, Uri…" Gokudera reached his arms out to pick the cat off from Yamamoto whilst the baseball player rolled off of him.

Yamamoto smiled, "Never knew you had a pet cat."

Gokudera scratched Uri's head, "Yeah… Well, Uri's not technically my 'pet'. It's a stray. But it always comes around to my house so I feed it and stuff."

Yamamoto reached out to smooth the little animal's fur, and Uri stretched its body, mewling in satisfaction. Yamamoto smiled, "It's cute."

"Huh. You should see it when it's mad – the thing is a little bitch when it's pissed off," Gokudera said, poking the cat in the cheeks. Uri tried to slap his hands in response but Gokudera dodged the attacks, "Ha. I'm too fast for you."

The baseball player tilted his head to one side and observed Gokudera and the irritated Uri with a smile. There was something very appealing about the way Gokudera handled animals, especially when the animal was a cat. Yamamoto felt as though Gokudera was with his own kind – a stray cat and another stray cat, toying and teasing one another.

Gokudera stopped fighting with Uri by holding it at arms' length before he turned to Yamamoto. He raised his brow, "What are you smiling like an idiot about?"

Yamamoto chuckled, "Nothing."

Unconvinced, but not bothered enough to dwell on it, Gokudera plopped Uri onto Yamamoto's torso. "There. You take Uri."

Yamamoto easily settled the cat in his arms before he asked, "So what's up with bringing Uri here? And all that luggage?"

"Oh. That. Yeah… Well I'm staying over for quite some time at Lancia's with the Dynamites and I didn't want to leave the cat alone," Gokudera said.

"You stay over at Lancia's a lot don't you?" Yamamoto noticed.

Gokudera nodded slowly, closing his eyes, "Yeah, most of us go there frequently so it's always packed. It's nice." _That's right. It's nice_ _not having to see that man's face for some time._

Gokudera wasn't lying, but he knew he wasn't telling Yamamoto everything he could – and probably should. _Not now. Later. I will tell him later._

"Hmm…" Yamamoto looked at the ceiling as he thought, before he rolled over to face Gokudera, "What do you think of staying over tonight, then?"

Gokudera reopened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, "What? You mean here?"

"Yeah. You know, since you've packed your stuff anyways – and I'm sure Dad wouldn't mind," Yamamoto smiled warmly as he reached over to brush a strand of silver hair away from Gokudera's face, "So… Stay with me?"

With a hint of a smile, Gokudera replied, "Sure."

_If it means stretching out the time I have with you… Sure._

"Yamamoto…"

"Hm…?"

"…nothing."

_So we can keep on obliviously pretending that there's only the two of us for just a moment more._

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 4.18pm**

Hibari stood apart from the crowd of Nami High juniors as they all waited for their bus to arrive to bring them back to Namimori. A clear frown was present on the Skylark's face – dark circles beneath his eyes emphasizing his moody atmosphere. Even Kusakabe, his closest person, kept his distance.

Since morning, Hibari had been in a foul mood. Crowding with the other juniors already annoyed him enough – he didn't need the added frustration of not being able to stop thinking about a certain Italian man.

'_Kyouya, I… I still-'_

The words repeated themselves over and over in his mind – the look on Dino's face haunting him. Hibari couldn't stop wondering what Dino wanted to say, and the potential of what could've been said stressed him even further. It also didn't help that memories of his ex-lover wouldn't leave him alone. Every now and again, his mind would travel back to the times they spent together – and Hibari hated the fact that they still affected him.

The Skylark thought that it was all over – his relationship and all of the feelings he had with Dino. He had been relieved that he could finally move on. But apparently, it wasn't over. That was clear enough to him when only seeing Dino's face and hearing Dino's voice affected him to this extent – and more than anything, Hibari was frustrated with himself for not being able to let it all go.

_I need to stop thinking about him. It's been a year._

But even as Hibari thought that, he couldn't help but still wonder. There were so many things left unanswered – their relationship ended all too suddenly without the very much needed explanation.

_Closure. That's what I need. Then, I'll finally be able to forget about him._

The theory sounded good enough. However, the thought of facing Dino was still too much for Hibari to handle. He knew he couldn't talk to Dino without his emotions running wild – the way he reacted last night was evident enough.

_No,_ _I'm not ready._ _I need to get away from here – away from him._

The bus seemed to be taking forever to get to the resort, and a sickening gut feeling inside Hibari was getting more and more agitated. His instincts were warning him that if he stayed here any longer, he would have to face something that he wasn't at all prepared to.

And as usual, his instincts were right.

"Kyouya."

As soon as he heard the voice, the Skylark started walking away. Hibari didn't even need to turn around to know that it was Dino walking up behind him.

"Kyouya, wait."

_No. Don't talk to me. Don't follow me._

Hibari sped up – and so did Dino.

_Stop it. Stop trying to make me fall back to you._

_ I don't want to. I can't afford to._

"_Kyouya_," Soon enough, Dino caught up with him, grabbing one of his wrists.

Hibari immediately turned around and jerked his arm away. "Stop following me."

"I need to talk to you," Dino tried to touch his shoulder but Hibari moved away before he could.

"I have nothing to say to you," the Skylark stated before he turned to walk away.

However, Dino stopped him in his tracks and stood in front of him. "Kyouya, please. Listen to me."

"No." _Why should I? Why should I give you such privilege after all you did to me?_

Despite Hibari's response, Dino still tried. "Look, Kyouya, I know I hurt you, but you need to know that I left you not because I didn't love you. I did. You know I did. Even now, I still-"

"_Enough." _Hibari hissed, raising his tonfas against Dino. His heart was beating so hard it was hurting him. "I don't want to hear it."

Dino's face was written all over with hurt and guilt, pleading Hibari to listen, wrapping his hands around the younger's wrist. "Kyouya-"

"I said _enough_," the Skylark spoke through gritted teeth, pressing his tonfas right up to Dino's chin, glaring at him with an intensity that could kill. "Stop bothering me. I want nothing to do with you."

_I can't afford to be in that pain again. Once was more than enough._

"…why?" Dino's voice was softer this time, almost a faint whisper. "Do you…do you have someone else?"

Hibari clenched his fists around his tonfas before he replied, "…yes."

With that, Dino let go of him. Then, he just stood there and looked at him – the expression on his face filled with disbelief and pain.

Hibari couldn't face him – couldn't look him in the eyes. The prefect turned around and forced himself to walk away.

_It's over. It's finally over._

But even so, the violent burn in his chest was impossible to ignore.

* * *

**Fujiyoshida, 4.29pm**

From afar, Kusakabe observed the scene between his young master and his ex-lover – immediately recognizing the look on Hibari's face.

It was the look he had when Dino first left him – the only difference being that this time it was Hibari who did the walking away.

And yet, the pain on his young master's face was just as clear and strong as the very first time – that particular sort of pain that neither bandages nor years of time could fully heal.

_Heartbreak. _

* * *

**A/N: **I am so sorry! This update was unforgivably and inexcusably late D: I went through a horrible writer's block and I just couldn't get the words out right until now… it's still not ideal, but hopefully what I did here is enough to satisfy you all ^^''

As always, your support is HUGELY appreciated! Look forward to more 8059, 8018 and D18 drama to come in the upcoming chapters! :D


	15. Time Limit

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing.

Beta'ed by **AmbiguousThoughts** – as always, huge appreciation for your work! :D

* * *

**Namimori, 2.18am**

BEEP-BEEP -!

"Oi…baseball idiot, your phone just beeped," Gokudera murmured sleepily as he nudged Yamamoto who was hugging him from behind.

"Mm-kay… I'll check it… in a moment…" Yamamoto mumbled on the back of Gokudera's neck, embracing him a little closer and pressing a tiny kiss on Gokudera's head.

Gokudera sighed, squeezing Yamamoto's hand, "Just go do it now so we can go back to sleep…"

"Okay…" Yamamoto nodded reluctantly and pecked Gokudera's cheek before he slowly released Gokudera and rolled over to reach for his cell phone.

The name that appeared on the screen shocked him out of his drowsiness.

_Hibari._

Yamamoto spared a glance at Gokudera, noticing that the silvernette's back was still turned towards him, before he opened the text message.

[Call me.]

The text was short, precise and not at all unlike the prefect Yamamoto so knew. It was then that Yamamoto realized he had been quite distant with Hibari ever since he got himself involved with Gokudera – and he missed the Skylark.

With that thought, Yamamoto quietly sat up on the bed – checking that Gokudera was still sleeping once again – before he dialed Hibari's number.

The phone rang twice before Hibari picked up.

[…hey.]

Hibari's voice was contained and quiet as always and with a pang in his chest, Yamamoto discovered that he missed the prefect much more than he thought he did.

Yamamoto pondered the things he should say before he settled on the simple statement, "…we haven't talked in a while, Senpai."

[Hn.] Hibari agreed.

"You're back from Fujiyoshida?" Yamamoto asked, even though he already knew the answer. The question was just an excuse to start conversation with Hibari – and an excuse to hear more of Hibari's voice.

[Yeah. Just got back today.]

Yamamoto nodded, "How was it?"

[It was…fine.]

There was only a mere second of pause in that sentence, but Yamamoto noticed right away that something was off. Hibari wasn't the type of person who paused between sentences. He was always so decisive in his actions and choices that a moment of indecisiveness meant something was wrong.

"Hey…are you okay?" Yamamoto questioned in a soft voice.

It took a long moment before Hibari replied – in such a quiet voice that it was hardly audible. […no.]

Hearing that answer made Yamamoto want to immediately rush over to Hibari's house and hold his Skylark in his arms. Usually, the prefect would hide the things that were bothering him – Hibari was the kind of independent person that preferred to handle his own business all by himself. The fact that Hibari was being honest about his situation now meant that something relatively huge was going wrong.

"Do you want me to come over?" Yamamoto offered, desperately wanting to be there for Hibari.

[…it's two in the morning.] Hibari reasoned.

"I don't care," Yamamoto replied instantly before he said, "If you want me there, I'll be there."

For a lingering pause, Hibari almost agreed to let Yamamoto come over. But the logic embedded within him disagreed. […no. I don't want you out in the dark alone.]

Yamamoto tried to argue, "It's okay, I'll-"

[No.] The tone of his voice told Yamamoto that it would be futile to try to change his mind – Hibari's reply was final.

The two were silent for a while before Hibari continued to speak. […remember when you told me you just needed to hear my voice?]

"…yeah," Yamamoto nodded. That was the time when he first kissed Gokudera and was feeling incredibly guilty and confused. By talking to Hibari back then, Yamamoto realized he didn't want to lose the Skylark – and by talking to Hibari now, he once again remembered just how much Hibari meant to him.

[…the voice thing. I get it now.] Hibari's voice was quieter when he said this. […I just need to hear your voice right now as well.]

"Hibari…," he repeated once again in a gentle, almost-persuasive, voice, "…are you sure you don't want me to come over?" Yamamoto's concern for Hibari was growing by the second. Hearing Hibari's voice revealing the slightest vulnerability pulled harshly at his heart strings.

[…no. It's late.] The answer was still the same, though Yamamoto could tell Hibari was more hesitant this time around.

Yamamoto kept silent after that, and for a long moment, the two just sat there in the quiet as they listened to the other person breathing on the other side of the line. No words were spoken, but the two felt comforted by it – sensing each other's presence as though they were sitting side by side.

A few more minutes of silence passed before Hibari spoke. […it's late, you should sleep.]

Yamamoto was indeed sleepy but with the situation he was in he was reluctant, "…are you sure?"

[…yes.] Hibari sounded hesitant yet certain all the same.

Yamamoto did not want to hang up just yet, "Just…call me if you change your mind or anything, okay?"

[Hn.]

"Hibari…" Yamamoto started, his voice softening.

[Hm?]

"…I miss you," Yamamoto whispered quietly – and as he spoke those words, he knew them to be true. He did miss Hibari – so much more now than ever.

Hibari took a moment before he replied in an equally soft whisper, […I do, too.]

And with that, the line disconnected.

Yamamoto sighed, looking at the screen of his mobile phone for a little while more, before he rested it on his bedside, turned around…

…and met two pools of emeralds staring right back at him.

"Gokudera…" Yamamoto breathed, the guilt fully sinking into him instantly, "…how long have you been awake?"

"Long enough," Gokudera replied simply, his arms crossed over his chest. Those eyes that stared intently at Yamamoto weren't angry or chiding…just _hurt_ – and that was the worst part of it all. Yamamoto had hurt someone he cared for once again.

"Gokudera-" Yamamoto started, but Gokudera cut him off.

"You really like him," Gokudera stated with a straight face, as though trying to contain his emotions. Neither of them needed to bother questioning who 'him' referred to – it was obvious enough.

"…I do," Yamamoto admitted guiltily before he continued, "…but I really care about you as well."

Gokudera looked away – not allowing those dark chocolate eyes of Yamamoto's to get to him. His arms crossed tighter as he spoke, "You can't have everything. You can't be that selfish and get away with it."

"…I know," Yamamoto murmured – and he did know. He always had known from the beginning – but that didn't stop him from going through with it all the same. Yamamoto looked at Gokudera, "…I'm sorry."

Gokudera refused to meet his eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to face those eyes and not forgive Yamamoto. He didn't want to forgive him so easily, not this time.

At one point during the interim, Gokudera believed Yamamoto might've cared for him more than Hibari – but the phone call just now proved him wrong. Watching and hearing Yamamoto talking on the phone with Hibari finalized it, and Gokudera wasn't going to deal with this affair any longer. He couldn't be with Yamamoto whilst knowing that the baseball player had at least half of his heart for someone else. It hurt too much, and Gokudera was _done_ with being around people who caused him pain.

With that thought, Gokudera started shuffling out of the mattress and off Yamamoto's bed.

However, Yamamoto stopped him in his tracks by gently wrapping his arms around Gokudera's back.

"…don't go," Yamamoto whispered pleadingly. He couldn't let Gokudera leave – he couldn't just _end_ this relationship with him. They were too far gone and had felt emotions too far deep to go back. Just as much as Yamamoto couldn't bear to lose Hibari, he couldn't afford to let Gokudera go.

Gokudera stopped attempting to get off the bed, but he pulled Yamamoto's arms off him nonetheless – cutting off anything that could potentially weaken his resolution.

"Why shouldn't I?" Gokudera spoke, turning around to face Yamamoto, "Give me one good reason why I should tolerate this fucked up situation we're in."

Yamamoto hated looking into those pained emerald eyes whilst knowing that he was the very cause of the pain and could do nothing about it. Yamamoto took a deep breath before he started speaking, "…I don't want to lose you."

Gokudera remained silent. He knew he shouldn't listen to what Yamamoto had to say – it would only drag him back into a whirlpool of bitterness – and yet, he still wanted to hear all of it. Yamamoto continued, "…and that's selfish of me, because I would say the same to Hibari."

Gokudera frowned, "…how is that even a good reason?"

"It's not," Yamamoto paused, "…but it's all I have to keep you from leaving."

A great moment of silence passed between them. Yamamoto held his breath. At any moment, Gokudera could just get up and leave him – and if that happens, he wouldn't know what else to do to hold Gokudera back; because Yamamoto knew better than anyone just how selfish he was by trying to keep both Hibari and Gokudera with him. The baseball player was in a situation of the greedy fisherman who held a fish in each hand instead of one with both hands, and because the fish were very much _alive_, one moment of recklessness, and both fish could escape away from his grasp forever.

Right now, Gokudera was slipping away from his hand – and unless he let go of one fish to hold onto the other, he might as well lose both of them in the end.

However, surprisingly, before Yamamoto could say anything, Gokudera broke the silence for him.

"One month," the silvernette stated with a stiff voice.

Yamamoto looked up at those emerald eyes, confused but hopeful.

"…I'll give you one month to decide," Gokudera continued, "…but I can tell you right now that one month will be all that I will tolerate – more than that and I assure you, I won't be there even if you do choose me in the end. One month. I can't take any-fucking-more than that."

With that said, Yamamoto sat up on his knees before he wrapped his arms around Gokudera, murmuring the only words he could at that moment, "…thank you. Really…thank you, Gokudera."

And he really was grateful. Gokudera was beyond kind to offer him such a deal – it allowed him to be selfish for one month more, and it provided him time to really figure out what he truly wanted. Gokudera was incredibly generous in allowing him this whilst knowing full well that it may not be him who Yamamoto wanted to be with at the end of the torturous wait. Yamamoto knew this much, and he couldn't express enough of his appreciation but to hold Gokudera tight in him arms – entirely relieved and happy that the silvernette was still within his reach.

But what Yamamoto did not know was that Gokudera did not offer him the deal out of kindness or generosity. The deal was, in fact, offered out of Gokudera's own selfishness.

Because to a certain extent, Gokudera knew that if he were to leave right now, Yamamoto wouldn't stop him. Right now, no matter how much it hurt, Gokudera understood that Hibari held more importance to Yamamoto than he did – and if Gokudera left, even though Yamamoto would be unhappy, he would soon recover by staying with Hibari. Gokudera would be the only one truly hurt by this situation. But if he gave Yamamoto more time – maybe, just maybe – Yamamoto might grow more feelings towards him, enough feelings to outweigh his bonds with Hibari.

By waiting, Gokudera was allowing himself to endure one painful month for the single chance that Yamamoto might choose him; it was the exact same method he used with how he allowed his father to abuse him whilst clinging on to the hope that Chisato might somehow in time go back to the loving father he used to be.

For the majority of his lifetime, Gokudera Hayato had clung onto that unrealistic dream. That first wait since childhood had failed miserably – and had scarred him terribly. But Gokudera was willing to risk the pain once again, in the hope that Yamamoto wouldn't fail him as his father did; in the hope that Yamamoto would make it all worth the wait.

And if not…Gokudera might as well lose the ability to ever believe again.

* * *

**Lancia's place, 2.59pm**

"Yo, Senpai, long time no see!"

The guy who Yamamoto remembered his name to be 'Skull' stood in front of the house, leaning against the door frame as he waved at Gokudera. His brilliant purple hair was tousled messily and his eyes were lined darkly with eyeliner that matched the color of his tattoo, just like the last time Yamamoto's seen him. Only this time, he was wearing less metal on his face and his attire was much simpler: casual clothes of only a screened t-shirt and torn jeans.

"…and you! I remember you – you're the sushi guy. Senpai's…friend?" Skull pointed at Yamamoto.

"Ahaha, yeah, that's me," Yamamoto nodded with a smile as he got off his motorcycle.

"Cool. It's nice to know Senpai's managed to actually make friends," Skull commented.

"Oi, what the fuck is that supposed to imply?" Gokudera snapped, pulling out his luggage from the storage box of the motorcycle as well as his cat, Uri, who was clearly irritated by being put inside a box. Gokudera frowned at the agitated little feline creature before he passed it over to Yamamoto, "Hold the thing."

Yamamoto easily received Uri and gently scratched its head. Strangely, Uri immediately calmed down in Yamamoto's arms. Gokudera rolled his eyes at that, but continued to sort out his luggage which was slightly messed up by the cat.

"Waah- you brought a little kitty!" Skull exclaimed, excitedly coming up to Uri and stroking its fur. Uri looked at the punkish stranger cautiously, but seemed settled enough in Yamamoto's hold not to be bothered by him.

Yamamoto observed the way Skull's eyes lit up as he played with Uri and found himself surprised to discover just how ordinary Skull looked – sure, he still had many piercings and a tattoo and wore dark makeup, but right now, Skull didn't look like an 'evil, violent color gang member'. He was just a young teenager, enjoying life day by day.

In fact, the Dynamite base surprised Yamamoto to a certain extent. When Gokudera told him that he would be going to Dynamite's base today and allowed Yamamoto to drop him off, the baseball player sort of expected to see a place that would obviously stand out as dangerous. Maybe something that would look like a warehouse or something of the sort. It was, after all, the house of the leader of one of the most notorious color gangs in town.

However, the house in front of Yamamoto right now looked nothing like what he expected. It was a modern looking home, painted a clean white with lots of windows instead of walls, complete with a fresh green garden with a large tree and some flowers. The house looked normal and homely – just like every other house in the neighborhood. The only thing that might merely suggest that it was a base to a color gang was the number of motorbikes parked in its huge garage, and that the house itself was much larger than the rest of the houses close by. But apart from that, it was a normal, typical house.

"Is Lancia home?" Gokudera asked Skull when he finished sorting out his bag.

"Yup. Everyone is here today, actually," Skull replied, still playing with Uri.

Gokudera raised an eyebrow, "What, is there supposed to be a meeting or something?"

"Nope, everyone's just here," Skull said before he added in a sneaky whisper, "Even Spanner-senpai's _boyfriend_ is here."

"Whoa, no shit, really?" Gokudera's eyes widened before he laughed.

"Yeah, for real. You'll see them as soon as you go in," Skull confirmed, grinning.

"Ha. Can't wait," Gokudera smirked.

Yamamoto, sensing that this was his cue to leave, handed Uri over to Skull. However, Gokudera turned around and looked at him – pondering for just a moment – before he said, "Hey, baseball idiot, you should come in too."

Yamamoto blinked, "Ah- but…it's your gang's place."

"Oh, don't be a moron. It's not like this place is secretive or anything." Gokudera urged him, "Come on. Come meet my people."

Yamamoto stared at the silvernette. Frankly, he did not expect this invitation at all – even being able to drop Gokudera here was unexpected. It was not only because the Dynamite's base was a considerably personal place to Gokudera – a place Yamamoto shouldn't intrude – but also because of the atmosphere between them ever since yesterday's 'deal'.

Last night they fell asleep lying side by side with Gokudera's back turned towards Yamamoto. Then, when they woke up, they talked 'normally' as how a friend would communicate with a friend and nothing more – they didn't touch or kiss, and neither did they do anything that even hinted intimacy. It raised question in Yamamoto, and he didn't quite understand where they stood right now. Was he supposed to keep their relationship on a casual level until the one month was over? Yamamoto wasn't too thrilled with that idea, though it was relatively better than not having the relationship at all.

"Yeah, sushi guy, you should join us! Spanner-senpai's boyfriend will feel better with another non-gang-member there as well," Skull added.

Yamamoto looked at Skull then back at Gokudera before he nodded, "Ahh, I guess I could stay for a bit…"

"Cool, just park your bike there, then come on in," Skull pointed to the garage with his thumb before he headed back into the house with Uri.

After Skull was gone, Gokudera helped Yamamoto park the motorcycle in the crowded garage before he started talking, "Just a few warnings before we go in…don't take these people too seriously, 'kay? They mean no real harm, trust me. Oh, and don't stare at people's scars or tattoos."

"Haha, you're kinda scaring me Gokudera," Yamamoto laughed nervously.

"Heh, there's nothing to worry about. I'm cool with them, and I'm cool with you. So in theory they should be cool with you too," Gokudera patted his back. Then, after a moment of consideration, Gokudera repeated, "In theory."

Yamamoto didn't know what he should feel about that – relieved that Gokudera admitted he was 'cool' with him, or intimidated by the fact that a whole color gang may or may not like him. What he still _did_ definitely feel, however, was the lingering confusion at the status of his complicated relationship with Gokudera. He'd prefer it if the answer was: yes, they were still at the same level they were on before the one-month-agreement. But even if it wasn't, at least Yamamoto wanted to know where exactly they're at and what the appropriate distance between them was.

Thus, Yamamoto took a chance and grabbed Gokudera's hand.

It startled the silvernette, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he looked up questioningly at Yamamoto, "…what is it?"

"Ah, um…nothing really," Yamamoto replied, laughing dryly to cover up the awkwardness.

_So we can still hold hands…?_

Gokudera leaned his head to one side, observing Yamamoto, before he suddenly flicked his index finger at Yamamoto's forehead.

Yamamoto blinked rapidly, "What…?"

Gokudera sighed, squeezing Yamamoto's hand gently, "Stop looking so depressed. They're not gonna plunge out your guts, you know. You'll be fine."

That really wasn't the reason why Yamamoto was concerned, but instead of explaining, Yamamoto simply nodded and allowed Gokudera to take his worry as a result of his gang's intimidation. This was neither the time nor the place to discuss what was actually currently going on in his mind.

"So…ready to meet my gang?" Gokudera asked as they approached the door.

"…you think I'll make it out alive?" Yamamoto questioned back, half-playfully.

"Heh. I'll have your back," Gokudera grinned.

Yamamoto decided to take that response and that grin as, hopefully, a good sign – and hopefully, for both situations – both for him with Dynamite, and for him with Gokudera.

* * *

**Lancia's place, 3.26pm**

The Dynamites were…unique, for a lack of better word.

Yamamoto used to think that Gokudera stood out a lot as an individual – he thought the way Gokudera dressed and acted made it obvious that he was a color gang member. That mentality changed when he first met Skull – who was even more visually obvious. But after meeting all of the leading Dynamite members today, his viewpoint of people who really looked the part changed once again.

The first person he met was M.M., who had fiery red hair cut in a slick bob with contrastingly bright violet eyes. She was playing a clarinet of some sort on the sofa, and she was wearing a mini-skirt so short that Yamamoto felt inclined to look away every time she moved her legs. She wore her red scarf around her thigh, and had an incredibly bold, confident and loud personality.

Yamamoto met Spanner – who Gokudera introduced as his closest friend in the gang. Spanner had bright platinum blonde hair curled in the most peculiar way, with a large tattoo on the curve of his neck, and a lollipop permanently caught in between his lips. His red scarf was half-tucked in his belt. The mechanic was lying by the laptop on the carpet floor with another boy named Irie Shouichi, who had messy orangey red hair and wore thick-framed glasses. Immediately, Yamamoto could tell that they were dating. Spanner was not at all being secretive about it, judging from the way he leant over and kissed Shouichi gently on the cheeks, on the tip of his nose, on his forehead, on his neck, and even on his lips every now and again.

Then finally, Yamamoto met the boss of the Dynamite gang – Lancia, along with his sister, Lal. At that point, Yamamoto understood why Gokudera warned him earlier not to stare. Lal had a gruesome burn-scar beneath her right eye on her cheek, whilst Lancia had large triangular tattoos creeping up both cheeks from his jaw line. Lal wore her scarf around her neck, whilst Lancia wore his on his head. Both of them had a fierce and intimidating aura about them – an aura of power and strength. Even without introductions, Yamamoto could tell right away that they held the most control in the entire gang.

After Yamamoto had met everyone, he joined in the little pizza circle that was only beginning to form.

"So – I've actually heard of you before, 'ya know," M.M. poked at Yamamoto's ribs as she nibbled on her slice of pizza.

"Oh, you did?" Yamamoto was surprised.

"Yup. From Mukuro-sama. He said that you're the ace on the Nami High baseball team and that you're a good friend – you know,_ trustworthy_, _honest…_all that crap," M.M. explained, speaking in an over-exaggerated tone when she described the baseball player.

Yamamoto smiled dryly as he thanked her, feeling rather far from 'trustworthy' and 'honest' with the way he'd been cheating on Hibari with Gokudera.

"Okay, so I'm just gonna cut it straight to the curb," M.M. sat up straight and pointed right at Yamamoto's face with her clarinet, "Do you want to join Dynamite?"

"Eh…?" Yamamoto had no clue where that one came from.

M.M. shrugged, "Mukuro-sama told me you have good senses – and he doesn't say that about everyone. Plus, you've got the appropriate build."

At that point, Spanner popped his lollipop out of his mouth and added, "Yeah. You've got a pretty decent form; nicely toned arms, good body mass, good body proportion, long legs…"

Yamamoto felt rather awkward with Spanner looking him up and down with those calculating eyes – it was as though Spanner viewed him as a machine that he was trying to figure out its functioning methods. "Um… thanks?"

"Spanner, it's kinda rude to analyze people like that," Shouichi whispered to the blonde.

"Oh. Is that so?" Spanner innocently turned towards Yamamoto and gave him a little nod, "Sorry."

"Ah, it's okay," Yamamoto replied with an awkward smile.

"So! What do you say, hot shot? Do you wanna try joining us?" M.M. repeated, now smacking Yamamoto in the abs with her clarinet.

Yamamoto smiled dryly, "Ah, thanks, but I'm not-"

M.M. interrupted him with another poke, "Don't you dare refuse! This is a direct demand from-"

"Oh, give it up M.M., he's not joining. Baseball idiots should just continue playing baseball like typical baseball idiots," Gokudera cut her off.

"Tch," M.M. clicked her tongue, dissatisfied. "Whatever, Smoking Bomb. Go ahead and ruin every chance of me getting a cute little jock on our team."

Then, M.M. stood up and walked out of the room with a careless attitude. Gokudera rolled his eyes at her before he bent over and took a large bite out of Yamamoto's pizza. Yamamoto raised his eyebrows at him.

Gokudera raised an eyebrow back, "What? You've got a problem?"

Yamamoto shook his head, chuckling, "No… not at all."

"I thought so," Gokudera smirked before he took another bite from Yamamoto's slice.

"You can have the whole thing if you want," Yamamoto said, amused.

"Nah. Stealing it is part of the fun," Gokudera replied and tried to take another bite, but this time, Yamamoto pulled the pizza away before he could. Gokudera looked up at Yamamoto, feigning shock, "What's this? You're challenging _me_, baseball freak? In _my_ territory?"

Yamamoto shrugged with a smile, holding the pizza away from Gokudera, "Just adding to the fun. You know…unless you want to just give in and ask for it."

"Ha. As if," Gokudera said before he lunged for the pizza, fully jumping on top of Yamamoto and snatching the pizza and stuffing it down right away. "There!" Gokudera spoke victoriously, still half-chewing, "Easy win."

Yamamoto laughed, "Okay, okay, you win."

Gokudera let out a 'hmph' or triumph as he swallowed down the pizza, before all of a sudden, he realized what position he and Yamamoto was in. That was, him on top of Yamamoto with their faces mere inches apart. Yamamoto seemed to have noticed this as well – and he paused as he watched Gokudera and waited to see what the silvernette would do.

Quickly, Gokudera got off Yamamoto, sat up, and regained himself. Yamamoto hid a sigh.

Spanner observed the small session between Yamamoto and Gokudera in an analytical way before he whispered something to Shouichi. The megane boy nodded as though in agreement before he turned to whisper something back.

Gokudera noticed, and nudged Spanner with his foot, "Oi, oi. The fuck are you two crazy-ass mechanics gossiping about?"

"Nothing," Spanner answered instantly, putting on a blank look. Shouichi, on the other hand, looked down on the carpet floor – hiding his face.

Gokudera frowned at them, "You two suck at lying."

"What? What lying? Who's lying?" Spanner was still trying to fake it.

Gokudera rolled his eyes and jabbed Spanner in the ribs with his foot. Spanner responded by grabbing on to Gokudera's ankle and yanking him, causing Gokudera to fall flat on his back.

"Jerk," Gokudera said, picking himself back up with a smirk.

"Right back at you," Spanner retorted, momentarily sticking out his tongue, before he returned to sucking on his lollipop, grinning satisfactorily.

Yamamoto and Shouichi laughed lightly at their little juvenile fight.

"Really, Spanner…" Shouichi spoke with a smile, playfully tugging on Spanner's lollipop.

Spanner eyed his lover, edging closer to him, a spark behind those dark orbs, "Hm?"

Shouichi shook his head, tapping a finger on the other mechanic's nose, "So immature."

"Oh, is that so?" Spanner spoke with a teasing smile. Then, he pulled the lollipop out of his mouth and as a replacement of the candy he leaned over and pressed his lips to Shouichi's. The megane returned the kiss with a shy smile, a tint of red flushing from his cheeks to his ears. Spanner chuckled into the kiss, as he raised his fingers to toy with the other's messy red hair.

Yamamoto tried hard not to stare at the display of affection before him, but he found himself stealing quick glances all the same. Gokudera, on the other hand, was completely unaffected by the scene. In fact, the silvernette seemed rather used to it – bored by it, even.

As soon as the kiss was over, Gokudera rolled his eyes at the two young engineers, "Oh, seriously, get a fucking room."

"There's no need to be jealous," Spanner said neutrally, before he just as neutrally added, "You can always get your own room with Yamamoto-kun."

The line was so unexpected it choked both Gokudera and Yamamoto simultaneously.

…_how the hell did he know?_

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gokudera tried to keep a cool voice, but his face betrayed all that with the fierce blush it was harboring. Meanwhile, Yamamoto concentrated his focus on the carpet patterns – trying to urge away the obvious heat in his face.

"Really? You're really going to play that act?" Spanner scoffed, partially amused by the two's reactions, "You know I know you better than to fall for it."

"But…how?" Gokudera was in a complete lost for words. It was one thing to accept his forbidden affair with Yamamoto – it was another thing altogether for one of his closest friends to find out about it.

"Vibes," Spanner shrugged, coolly resting his head on Shouichi's shoulder.

Gokudera looked at Shouichi, exasperated, "…you knew too?"

Shouichi nodded, "Ah… yeah, you can kinda tell."

Yamamoto and Gokudera exchanged a look. _Were they really that obvious?_

In that moment, Yamamoto finally began to realize that it wasn't easy hiding something as major as a relationship with a person. If Spanner and Shouichi managed to figure it out in mere minutes of being in their presence, then there was no doubt that Hibari would know immediately were he to see them together. After all, Hibari was as sharp as one can be – he wasn't the school's most feared and respected head prefect for nothing – and the high probability of Hibari finding out about him and Gokudera scared him.

Hibari's cold wrath alone was frightening enough, but even more so, Yamamoto feared that he would lose the Skylark altogether. Unlike Gokudera, Hibari had no idea that Yamamoto had more than one intimate relationship – and unlike Gokudera, Yamamoto doubted that Hibari would've patiently dealt with the matter. The minute Hibari found out about the affair, he would most certainly leave – and after two years of longing after him and finally having him in his arms, Yamamoto wasn't about to let him go.

But then again, looking at the silvernette who sat beside him – a red hue still spread over his pale complexion – Yamamoto knew he wasn't about to let Gokudera go, either.

Yamamoto exhaled deeply, a sickening feeling beginning to form in his stomach. The feeling was almost akin to a creature – a tiny, creepy little thing living inside of him, growing bigger, heavier and stronger as time went on. It was a feeling he was starting to recognize, in time, as 'guilt' – and it was eating him up more and more each day as it accumulates.

Yamamoto was, by nature, a genuinely good person – he was not at all used to handling such things as guilt, especially not one of this degree, where his wrongdoings concerned others' feelings as well. Acknowledging the fact that he was causing pain to the two people he greatly cared for in his life raised a sick, sick feeling sinking within his gut. Guilt _felt_ disgusting. Yamamoto didn't know how long he had left before the little creature will finally get to him and tear his heart into two – or worse, shred it until nothing was left of him at all.

He wished he could keep them both, but he knew he couldn't. He wished he could choose between them, but he couldn't do that either.

If only wishes were answered that easily.

* * *

**Lancia's place, 5.28pm**

Gokudera stood by the doorway of Lancia's house as he watched Yamamoto pull out his motorcycle from the garage, preparing to leave. So far, the day had gone well between Yamamoto and the Dynamite members. Lancia and Lal approved of him, M.M. and Skull liked him, and Spanner was supportive of his relationship with Gokudera. Yamamoto was, by default, the type of person who was just basically 'likeable', so Gokudera had always known that there would be no problem with him fitting in with the Dynamite crew.

On the contrary, things had run not as smoothly between Yamamoto and Gokudera personally.

Gokudera didn't know whether it was the unusual setting or the 'deal' they had agreed to that was doing the trick, but whatever the cause, the result was that things were…awkward, to say the very least, between Yamamoto and Gokudera – and they both sensed it, thus making the situation even more horribly awkward.

In all fairness, Gokudera did understand that it was partly his fault. He was the one who refrained from touching or being in close contact with Yamamoto since the morning. But was he really to blame for doing so? The silvernette had just _agreed_ to being treated like a hidden _mistress_ for one entire month. It was quite a huge blow to his pride, to begin with. Plus, Gokudera was also beginning to realize that he was becoming what M.M. would label as a 'slutty home-wrecker'. The term itself was derogatory enough for Gokudera to flinch, but the meaning of the term was even more cringe-worthy.

Like it or not, Gokudera was a home-wrecker: someone who was intentionally ruining an initially fine relationship between two people by coming in between as the third party. Gokudera couldn't even imagine the fury he would feel if situations were reversed and Hibari was the one butting in on his relationship with Yamamoto.

Therefore, the guilt arrived.

Gokudera never though he would've felt guilty for this affair for he could care less about Hibari's feelings and wellbeing. However, now that he was coming to the realization at what exactly he was attempting to do, he gained some empathy – and in result, guilt. Thus, leading to him avoiding being intimate with Yamamoto at all costs during the entire day.

It wasn't as though he didn't want to touch Yamamoto. Of course, he did. But all of a sudden it just felt _wrong_, like he was committing some kind of crime.

_Oh, the hell is going on with me? _Gokudera frowned. Usually, the silvernette would jump at the idea of crime. He was _the_ Smoking Bomb of Dynamite.

_Tch._ _That stupid baseball idiot with his equally stupid morals must've rubbed off on me._

_That wouldn't do. Holding back and shying away would do nothing for me. I'm already at a disadvantage with the position I'm in, I can't afford to be playing nice._

_I have only one month – I need to make the most of it._

Gokudera nodded approvingly as he came to terms with himself. _If you want something, you grab for it. _

"Gokudera…?" Yamamoto's voice interrupted his trail of thoughts, and Gokudera's eyes flitted up to see Yamamoto standing by the gate of Lancia's house.

"Ah, one sec," Gokudera mumbled before he reached for the keys Lancia gave him, walking towards the gate and unlocking it. He swung the door open, but just before Yamamoto could go through, Gokudera edged in and stood firmly in his way.

Yamamoto looked confused, "Um, Goku-"

"Shush," Gokudera hushed him, lifting his hand to Yamamoto's lips. Those emerald eyes glanced over Yamamoto's shoulders to make sure no one was near the windows to witness this scene.

Yamamoto was still not quite certain of Gokudera's intentions, but he was hopeful. At least now Gokudera was not avoiding being so close to him. With that thought in mind, he pulled the hand on his lips away, and instead, held it in his own. He almost let out a sigh of relief when Gokudera did not pull away.

Certain that no one was watching, Gokudera turned his attention back to Yamamoto, who was looking back at him curiously. Gokudera leaned closer towards the baseball player, not losing eye contact as he spoke his name, "…Yamamoto."

The voice Gokudera intentionally used sent shivers down Yamamoto's spine. Immediately, Yamamoto could feel the atmosphere between them shifting from awkward to increasingly intimate – and he couldn't deny that he was beyond grateful. Yamamoto responded with a soft hum, "Hm…?"

"Nothing…" Gokudera murmured teasingly as he circled his arms around Yamamoto's neck and inched his body even closer. Those emerald orbs were sparkling with a mischievous gleam fueled by something akin to desire and possession combined.

Yamamoto had never seen anything more tempting. "Gokudera-"

Gokudera silenced him with a kiss that was by far, the most erotic Yamamoto had ever experienced. It was seducing and passionate all at the same time – lips nibbling a tad too gently with occasional tantalizing teases of tongue – Gokudera giving him just enough to keep him wanting more as he pulled away far too soon.

Leaning back on his heels and looking up at Yamamoto, Gokudera playfully whispered, "Making up for today."

Apparently, one kiss wasn't enough to make up for an entire day's lack of intimacy, as Yamamoto pulled Gokudera in for another kiss; this time, a deeper one, fully satisfying each other's desire. Gokudera ran his fingers through Yamamoto's hair, enjoying the way Yamamoto so possessively grabbed his waist and pulled his body closer to his own.

_That's right….if you want something, grab it. Snatch it away before it goes out of reach._

Not being close to Yamamoto all day turned out to be not so bad after all. Because right now, Yamamoto wanted him more than ever – so much so that Gokudera could _feel_ his passion and need. The resulting kiss was intense, and Gokudera felt his knees weakening, his body going limp in Yamamoto's arms. Lingering his lips near to Gokudera's, Yamamoto reluctantly broke away from the kiss, leaving them both panting for air.

After their pants returned to almost normal breaths, Yamamoto embraced Gokudera tightly and sighed, "…I'm glad."

Gokudera looked up at him, "Hm?"

"I felt like you were avoiding me before, you know, because of that agreement, and I was worried that you didn't want to do…_this_ anymore," Yamamoto murmured, hugging Gokudera tighter for emphasis.

Gokudera leaned his head on Yamamoto's shoulders and replied, "Well, yeah. I did kinda avoid you. It did feel all sorts of awkward before."

"Then what changed your mind?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

"Hm…lots of things," Gokudera mumbled, before he added, "… I guess I decided that I'm not just gonna wait around and waste time whilst you make your decision."

Then, Gokudera leaned backwards to look straight into Yamamoto's eyes as he spoke every word out firm and clear, "I know what I want, and I'll fight for it."

Yamamoto felt his heart tumble and warm at those words and at that intent look in those emerald eyes. To know that Gokudera wanted him and cared for him enough to fight for him…it made Yamamoto feel a huge rush of emotion towards the silvernette.

Yamamoto first fell for Gokudera because of his vulnerability. But now, it seemed as though he was falling for Gokudera's strength as well.

Strong yet vulnerable – that was what had attracted Yamamoto to Hibari in the first place. However, Yamamoto was soon discovering that it was also the same factors that drew him towards Gokudera.

And that would only make it harder for him to choose between them.

* * *

**Namimori, 6.18pm**

Yamamoto arrived back at his house on his motorcycle with thoughts on his newfound aspect of affection for Gokudera still lingering in his mind. The sky was getting darker, going into twilight as night was approaching in a close hour or so. It was one of Yamamoto's favorite times of day – peaceful and calm, with the sounds of birds returning to their nests. But then again, being Yamamoto, he could probably find a reason for any time of day to become his favorite.

Yamamoto parked the motorcycle in the garage and locked it up, before he looked up at the sky, appreciating its darkening tones, wondering if it was about to rain tonight. Apart from baseball, watching the rain was something that Yamamoto enjoyed doing most. He always had loved the fresh smell of rain –before, after and in between – and he liked listening to the comforting sounds of the droplets hitting against his roof, liked seeing them roll down his window. The feel of rain itself was also refreshing, and always managed to clear his mind.

The baseball player stretched his arms high into the air and yawned tiredly as he walked over to lock up the gates – only to be met by a familiar figure standing there.

The person was wearing a long-sleeved black t-shirt that clung to his petite body and contrasted well with his pale skin, along with dark jeans that accentuated his long, slim legs. His hair looked as soft and dark as Yamamoto remembered it to be, and that face still had on that permanent stoic expression that Yamamoto had come to adore.

"Hibari…" Yamamoto's face split into a wide smile, his hearting doing a little flip-drop at seeing his lover's face.

"Hey…" Hibari's lips curved into the barest hint of a smile of his own. He did miss Yamamoto, despite his head being filled with thoughts of a certain Italian these past few days. He missed Yamamoto's smile that always seemed to brighten up everyone's day, he missed the warmth of Yamamoto's touch, and he missed the comforting feeling he always felt whenever he's with Yamamoto.

Yamamoto didn't hesitate at all to rush over and take Hibari into his arms, hugging the Skylark close against him, and in return, Hibari wrapped his arms around Yamamoto's back. Hibari's scent filled up Yamamoto immediately – that faintly sweet smell that reminded him of Sakura blossoms – and Yamamoto nuzzled Hibari's neck, taking in more of the prefect's irresistible essence.

Hibari, on the other hand, cringed slightly when he noticed the faint smell of cigarette on Yamamoto, but decided to say nothing of it and instead absorb himself into Yamamoto's much missed warm embrace.

Yamamoto sighed contentedly, hugging Hibari tighter, "I missed you so much."

Hibari leaned his head on Yamamoto's neck and murmured quietly, "I know. I do, too."

Yamamoto pressed a long, lingering kiss on Hibari's cheek before he went back to embracing the Skylark and nuzzling his pale, warm neck once more. Hibari melted into Yamamoto's touch, letting Yamamoto drown away all thoughts of another man who he did not, at all, want to think about. He was back in Namimori now, back in Yamamoto's arms, and he was exactly where he wanted to be. This was exactly what he needed – the feeling of how much he missed Yamamoto, and the comfort of being held by him.

As for Yamamoto, seeing Hibari once again sent a tidal wave of emotions crashing at him. He thought he missed the prefect before just by hearing his voice, but having Hibari in his arms now really proved to him the extent of how much he longed for the Skylark. Seeing and feeling Hibari solid in his arms reminded him of why he fell for him in the first place. Yamamoto might've forgotten particular parts of that in the past few days, but now that Hibari was back, so were all of his feelings – restored, and firmly back in place; maybe stronger now, even.

Holding Hibari in his arms, Yamamoto could never imagine letting him go. Not now, not ever.

But at the back of his mind, Yamamoto knew full well that if it were Gokudera who was in his arms at this moment, his thoughts would be no different.

Hibari was back, and decision making seemed to grow more impossibly difficult by the second.

And the clock was still ticking on.

* * *

**A/N: **So… 8018 is back! :D Hehe, I missed writing Yamamoto and Hibari together. Be prepared to see much more of them from now on, along with 8059 as well of course. And maayyybe D18 – I'll keep you guessing! ;) This story is on a roll~

Sorry for taking so long on this chapter! And as always, your support and reviews are absolutely wonderful~ ;D


	16. Tear it Apart

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, and a lot of kissing ;)

Beta'ed by **AmbiguousThoughts** – me hearts you!*cuddles*

**B/N:** …MeLoNnAiSE has now officially stolen my line. Okay.

* * *

**8.18pm**

It did rain after all.

Not heavy rain, like those in thunderstorms and such, but rain nonetheless – and Yamamoto was grateful. Not only because of his appreciation for the weather itself, but because the sudden downpour contributed to Hibari's agreement to staying the night. After all, Hibari was a much disciplined person, and he wouldn't bother the Yamamoto household for no good reason.

Tsuyoshi, Yamamoto's father, warmly welcomed the young Skylark without hesitation. Hibari couldn't stop comparing the good-willed man to the cold-hearted person he called his father. Kaien Hibari would never have allowed strangers of 'unknown social status' to sleep on his ground, let alone without being told beforehand. The thought only caused Hibari's disgust of his father to grow. Frankly, the Skylark was glad he could stay over at Yamamoto's tonight. He felt so much more at peace here than at his own superficial home – and he needed peace after what he'd gone through with his ex-lover.

Hibari stood still in the shower, letting the water wash him down thoroughly from head to toe, wishing that it would wash away thoughts of a certain blonde Italian man as well. He blamed it on the fact that it had been first love, and hence, such intensity of emotions. To a certain extent, he did feel those emotions for Yamamoto – and Yamamoto _was_ the only one who managed to make him forget about Dino when they were together. But it wasn't the same – not just yet. That being said, Hibari saw that if he let his guard down, maybe it _could_ eventually be the same.

Stepping out of the shower, Hibari wiped himself dry before he pulled on Yamamoto's clothes. The sweatpants hung loose on his slim waist, and the white t-shirt was obviously a size too big for him. But the clothes had Yamamoto's scent on it – that refreshing scent of soap – and Hibari found that he couldn't care less that they were just a little too big.

Hibari walked out of the bathroom to see Yamamoto sorting out the extra pillows on the bed. Yamamoto had already finished showering before him in his father's bathroom, and the scent that clung to him was the same scent as the clothes Hibari wore.

Yamamoto looked up at Hibari when he heard him shut the bathroom door, before a faint smile spread over his face. Hibari looked rather adorable with the clothes hanging loose on his body and his dark hair still dripping wet.

Always practical, Yamamoto stood up and grabbed a small towel from the shelf before he walked over to Hibari and started gently drying the prefect's hair. Surprisingly enough, Hibari stood still and allowed Yamamoto to go through with it until his hair was left only slightly damp.

"There," Yamamoto murmured with a smile as he wiped Hibari's hair once more and draped the small towel around Hibari's shoulder.

Hibari looked up at Yamamoto with his dark, sharp eyes that seemed to soften whenever they set on Yamamoto. The look was intense and meaningful, implying things that leaned more towards the intimate side of his nature.

Yamamoto could read into Hibari's eyes without having to try. He knew what Hibari wanted – and he knew it was what he wanted as well – but he only settled for a smooth caress of Hibari's soft cheek with the back of his hand. Standing in his bedroom with Hibari reminded Yamamoto too much of all those times he spent in this very room with Gokudera – and he felt too guilty to jump straight into intimacy with another person.

However, unlike Yamamoto, Hibari was not aware of the situation. Nor was he patient.

Without warning, the Skylark stretched up and planted a quick kiss on Yamamoto's lips. Fast enough to shock him, and short enough to be dissatisfying.

"Too slow," Hibari murmured into Yamamoto's ear, before he backed away.

That peck and Hibari's voice was enough encouragement for Yamamoto – and he proved this as he pulled Hibari right back into his arms and kissed him deeply, slanting his lips against Hibari's. The Skylark challengingly met Yamamoto's tongue with his own.

It was a battle for dominance, as though the two were competing as to who missed the other's taste more through their passionate kisses. Yamamoto pressed Hibari's torso against his own as he tilted the prefect and ran his hand up his spine. Hibari clung onto Yamamoto's shoulders, one hand massaging the back of Yamamoto's neck as he sucked on Yamamoto's bottom lip.

Yamamoto hummed with approval, before he slipped one hand up underneath Hibari's shirt and ran his fingertips up Hibari's back, appreciating the feel of smooth, supple skin beneath his touch. His lips fully captured Hibari's once more, gliding his tongue into Hibari's mouth as his hand worked its way to Hibari's front. That hand circled around Hibari's nipple before Yamamoto tweaked the perky nub with his fingers, causing Hibari to let out a faint gasp.

Yamamoto took that response as a good sign, and he lapped at Hibari's lower lip once before he moved in to suck on Hibari's tongue. The Skylark pressed his body closer to Yamamoto, grabbing tighter on Yamamoto's shoulders. The need to feel the other was overpowering. During yet another passion-filled kiss, Yamamoto moved the hand that was previously supporting Hibari's slim waist down to Hibari's butt before he daringly grabbed on the firm flesh.

To his pleasant surprise, the Skylark emitted a low, breathy moan that only further fueled Yamamoto's desire. Hastily, Yamamoto stretched down the collar of Hibari's shirt before he leaned over and sucked aggressively on that pale, sensitive skin where the neck joined the shoulder. That sweet Sakura blossom smell filled Yamamoto's senses once again, and a possessive streak took over as Yamamoto bit down harshly on that delicate flesh.

"Yamamoto…," Hibari raggedly breathed before he whimpered quietly as Yamamoto sunk his teeth deeper into his flesh and sucked harder on that skin. Yamamoto was breathing hard against his neck, and Hibari felt himself tremble in mixed pain and pleasure.

It took a moment before Yamamoto let go of Hibari's neck and transferred his lips back to kissing the Skylark, this time, gentler and softer as though to make up for the pain recently caused. Then, Yamamoto leaned back slightly and peppered a few apologetic kisses on Hibari's cheek and jawline.

"Damn, I missed kissing you," Yamamoto whispered as he took Hibari into a warm embrace.

"Hn…," Hibari breathed, rather speechless after their recent session. Yamamoto had never been quite that passionate and daring with him before, and Hibari decided he rather liked that surprising streak in the ever-so-gentle baseball player.

Yamamoto trailed his fingers down to Hibari's neck and circled the area that was already showing up a deep, dark bruise – the love bite made clearer by the paleness of Hibari's skin. Yamamoto planted a soft kiss on Hibari's forehead. "Sorry if I bit you a little too hard…"

Hibari shook his head, his face still hot. "It's fine."

Yamamoto sighed, holding Hibari close in the fold of his arms. He never doubted the magnitude of his feelings for Hibari. But, after not seeing him and not being in contact with him for so long, it seemed as though his emotions were coming on much stronger than before.

So strong that it may even be…

The realization that dawned on Yamamoto caused his eyes to widen. He leaned back to stare at Hibari's face – into those eagle-like, deep, dark orbs.

Hibari watched him curiously. "What is it?"

Yamamoto brushed a damp strand of hair away from Hibari's face, looking at him, taking everything of him in. It was like the first time Yamamoto had seen Hibari – so fierce, so beautiful and yet so gentle, calm and vulnerable… A bird in full flight – a Skylark. _His _Skylark.

The intent gaze Yamamoto held on him caused Hibari to blush. The way Yamamoto looked at him – with such awe, such care, and such…feelings – it made his heart twinge at the very core.

Tracing his fingertips down to Hibari's chin and smoothing Hibari's cheek with his thumb, Yamamoto leant in and kissed him. It was gentle, slow, soft, and ever so sweet. Yamamoto handled Hibari's face with both hands, fingertips only gracing that skin with feather-like touches. The kiss alone was a confession whispered right into his soul.

It left Hibari breathless.

And as Yamamoto pulled back and saw Hibari looking back at him with a look in his eyes that reflected his own moments ago, Yamamoto knew.

He was in love with Hibari Kyouya.

* * *

**10.04am**

Hibari's heart was still beating fast, even though Yamamoto had already drove off a while ago.

The Skylark told Yamamoto to drop him off quite far from his house, because the last time Yamamoto sent him off at the front door, it ended up in quite an embarrassing encounter involving Kusakabe, his most trustworthy companion, witnessing a make out session between him and Yamamoto. Not exactly the best of experiences.

Last night, on the contrary, was.

After that breathtaking kiss, they fell asleep in each other's arms, Yamamoto continuously planting soft kisses all over Hibari. It felt like the perfect lullaby.

Hibari could tell that something was different about Yamamoto. The way Yamamoto looked at him now always managed to cause his heart to react. Those deep chocolate brown eyes Hibari always found himself melting in were now even softer and sweeter than before, and held more intensity. Hibari knew that look. It was the look he used to have in his own eyes when he looked at a certain man. He remembered the way that man will look at him in return with the exact same – perhaps even more intense – loving gaze.

Before Yamamoto left him to walk back to his house, Yamamoto had kissed Hibari with another one of those heartwarming kisses reserved for only the most intimate of lovers. Just thinking about it made Hibari's heart churn pleasantly in his chest.

But as soon as Hibari saw the person standing in front of his house, his heart churned in a completely different way.

…_why is he here?_

Hibari was about to turn back and walk away, but the other had already seen him.

"Kyouya!" And there came the voice which managed to affect him every single time. The deep, warm voice that belonged to the only person unrelated to him who called him by his first name.

Hibari sped up, but it was too late. The person had already caught up with him and took a grip on his wrist.

"Let go, Dino," Hibari spoke sharply without turning around to look at him. He couldn't bear to. Already, he was filled with a painful gut feeling just by being in his presence.

Dino ignored him. "You weren't home last night."

Hibari clenched his fist, avoiding thoughts that Dino might have been waiting for him since last night – the guy was that sort of fool. Hibari had to force himself not to care. "That has nothing to do with you."

"I won't let you go until you look at me and talk to me." Dino's grip on Hibari's wrist was persistent, but the tone of his voice hid a plea.

That hidden plea was heard by Hibari, and he hated the way he was still bothered by it.

_This is not supposed to happen. He's not even supposed to be here._

Harshly, the Skylark turned around to face Dino with hardened eyes. He spoke loud and clear, "Fine. I was at my _lover_'s house. Satisfied? Now let go."

Dino didn't let go. Bitter silence fell between them. Dino tried to look into Hibari's eyes, but the prefect avoided eye contact at all costs. The situation was hurting both of them. Even now, Hibari recognized the warmth from those long fingers that so firmly gripped onto him.

All of a sudden, however, the grip grew painfully tighter.

"…love bite," Dino spoke under his breath, as though trying to contain himself. "You have a love bite."

Immediately, Hibari raised his free hand to cover the area on his neck that Yamamoto so severely left a mark on yesterday night. He thought the neckline of his shirt covered it well, but apparently, it was not well enough for Dino's sharp eyes. The Skylark's face grew hot. He tried to jerk his other hand away from Dino, but Dino refused to let go.

"…did you let him do it, Kyouya?" Dino asked in a tight voice, trying his hardest to control the anger and jealousy that was boiling furiously within him.

"What?" Hibari frowned at him, not understanding what Dino was getting at. It was harder when he avoided meeting his eyes. Once upon a time, even without words, just one look in those eyes and Hibari would understand everything – absolutely everything.

Dino, frustrated, hissed through gritted teeth, "_Did you have sex with him?"_

Hibari was enraged. How _dare_ he? After all Dino did to him, how dare he come back and stand in front of him demanding answers about his personal life – a life that no longer included him since _he_ was the one who decided to easily up and drop out of it a year ago.

Hibari glared at Dino, then. His words were coated with spite when he spoke, "So what if I did?"

That was it. That was crossing the line for Dino.

Seeing the deep purple bruise that was so obviously a bite mark on Hibari's neck was bad enough. But hearing from the Skylark's mouth that he slept with someone else? The image was too much. Dino couldn't take it. He couldn't take the fact that _his_ Skylark was held by somebody else, kissed by somebody else, _taken_ by somebody else…

Vicious jealousy took over, and before Hibari knew it, Dino had pulled him into his arms and the blonde's lips were violently forced upon his own. Hibari's heart jolted painfully at the long-lost sensation. But before Dino's tongue could explore his mouth, Hibari used all the strength that he could muster to push him away. The Skylark raised the back of his hand to rub his lips and rid it of the taste of Dino before he threw a full-force punch at the blonde.

Much to his shock, however, Dino effortlessly caught the punch in his palms. Those caramel brown eyes of Dino's watched Hibari's eyes widened. He explained, "I'm not as weak as I used to be."

Dino didn't waste another second of breath before he forced yet another aggressive kiss on Hibari. Teeth clashing against teeth and tongue battling against tongue – there was nothing gentle about it, and yet all the more ardent. This time, Dino made sure to lock Hibari's arms securely behind his back as he continued to ravage those lips he used to claim as his own – the very same lips he was now attempting to claim once again.

Hibari despised the fact that he remembered the taste and the way Dino kissed – the precise angle that those sinful lips and tongue moved against his own. He hated the familiar feeling of being held so close and so tightly in Dino's arm – hated the warmth, hated how Dino's breath baited his tongue. He hated how Dino knew the exact way to put down his barriers – and he hated how he was still vulnerable to the methods that had got to him time and time again. But more than anything, he hated the way he missed Dino's kiss and longed for it so desperately that he couldn't help but respond.

Soon enough, the kiss altered its tone from aggressive possession to passionate longing. The kisses were deep, tongue-sucking, lip-nibbling, breath-stealing ones that made Hibari's knees lose its hold entirely. But Dino had him firm in his arms as he continued to kiss the life out of Hibari – kissing him as though he was making up for a year's worth of kisses.

Hibari was left panting, weakly shaking his head. "No…don't…"

_Don't do this._

_Not when I just learned how to live without you._

_Not when I finally thought I could fall in love with someone else._

Dino didn't listen. Instead, he moved in for another fervent kiss, to which Hibari couldn't help but return. This was the kiss that was first taught to him. This was the kiss that he became accustomed to – so much so that any other kiss from any other person never felt as right. This was the kiss that he could never resist.

For this was the man he used to love with all of his heart.

Hibari could almost vision the walls around him crumbling when Dino released his hands in order to hold him nearer and to press his body even impossibly closer to his own. With a lurch of his heart, Hibari noticed that Dino's fingers were trembling – as though he was afraid that Hibari would slip right out of his grasp if he held him too loosely, or that Hibari would shatter right in his hands if he clutched him too tightly.

Dino leaned over and kissed Hibari softly on the hollow spot behind his ear – the spot that only he knew how sensitive it was. Hibari shivered despite himself.

_No. I can't go back there. Not now, not anymore._

With that thought, Hibari roughly shoved Dino off him before the Skylark rushed away, escaping into the confines of his house, slamming the door shut behind him, not giving Dino any chance to follow him inside. At least the physical walls wouldn't crack as easily as the walls he that had built around his heart.

Leaning his back against the door, knees weak, Hibari sighed, raising his hand to clutch his madly pulsing chest. His heart and lips were burning. Hibari did not know what to do.

_…why now?_

_ Why did you have to come back now?_

* * *

**11.26am**

Yamamoto was torn.

Only a mere hour ago, his head was caught in the clouds, elated by his newfound feelings for Hibari. It was as though his world was colored by an entirely different shade – filled with vibrant, optimistic tones. Everything seemed perfect, and Yamamoto had felt like the luckiest guy on earth when he kissed Hibari goodbye as he sent him off.

But soon after he parted with the prefect, reality dawned on him.

He was in love with Hibari – and yet he still couldn't let Gokudera go.

What was that even supposed to mean, anyway? Yamamoto had thought that if he developed enough feelings for one person, it would consequently eliminate all of his longing and lingering for the other. However, that did not appear to be the case.

The case, in fact, seemed to be that whenever Yamamoto was with either Gokudera or Hibari, he came to the realization that he felt too much for them to let them go. When he was with Gokudera the feelings leaned towards the silvernette. Unfortunately, likewise, when he was with Hibari his feelings swayed back towards the Skylark. It was an impossible situation.

_An impossibly selfish one, _Yamamoto thought, sighing.

Pushing all thoughts of Hibari and Gokudera away from his head, Yamamoto dismounted his motorcycle and fished out the packaged sushi-delivery for this particular house. Yamamoto had been running these deliveries for his father ever since he learnt how to ride, and he had grown accustomed to the job – delivering becoming part of his routine.

As Yamamoto walked towards the door of the client's house, he noticed that this sushi order was larger than most. There were eight bags in total, each bag containing at least five boxes of sushi. Yamamoto did the calculations in his head – that totaled up to at least forty boxes.

_Wow. This family must be really big… That or they really must like sushi,_ Yamamoto thought, pressing down on the door buzzer with his elbow; for his hands were more than occupied.

No one came to answer. Yamamoto elbowed the buzzer again. And again.

Still no answer.

Then, Yamamoto noticed at the corner of his eyes that the door gates were not locked. Perhaps the customer preferred him to walk right in? It wasn't unusual – the regular customers were more than happy to allow Yamamoto to let himself in. But then again, Yamamoto didn't recognize this house as particularly familiar.

After a moment of considering and elbowing the buzzer one more time – surprise, surprise: still no reply – Yamamoto decided he would take the initiative to walk in by himself. After all, what could be the worst that could possibly happen?

But what Yamamoto didn't deduce was that this house belonged to a color gang – and a rather violent one at that. Precisely, it was the Varia Headquarters – the very Varia that was arch nemesis to Dynamite, the gang which Gokudera belonged to.

* * *

**11.26am**

"Nnh- enough…"

"One more time…"

"No, moron-senpai, you already- mm…"

Fran didn't really know what he was doing. To be honest, throughout his lifetime, he never quite knew. For Fran, life was a bore – a dumb process he had to go through for the sake of it. School, traveling, training, running errands… It was all uselessly _dumb_ to Fran. Nothing seemed to ever move him, and life as a whole was a numbing experience. Fran never really understood the meaning to his existence, why he was where he was.

That being said, right now, Fran _really _was quite confused as to why he was there. 'There' – as in, standing with his back against the fridge with a certain prince's arms wrapped possessively around him, lips locked on his own.

Well, he did sort of know how it happened. It started with a stupid agreement over the phone on one expedition night. Bel sort-of dared Fran to kiss him, and Fran, being Fran, sort-of agreed. Their first kiss was shared at the back of the Varia headquarters and it was, unexpectedly, an exceptionally erotic kiss. This led them on. One kiss became two kisses, then three, and four, and more.

Nowadays, it seemed as though whenever they were alone, Bel's tongue would be pleasantly occupying Fran's mouth – Fran's body constantly pressed up against something; a sofa, a table, a bed…or in today's case, a fridge.

"Hah…!" Fran gasped when all of a sudden, Bel picked up his legs and forced them around his torso. Fran instinctively clung onto Bel's shoulders to prevent falling. The position pressed them even closer than before, and as Bel pushed Fran against the fridge and started sucking on his neck, Fran felt his heart racing.

_This…is different._

Bel began moving his hips against Fran, backwards and forwards, grinding two very sensitive and apparently very _hard _regions of their bodies together. Fran trembled. "Ah… Senpai…?"

"Shh… Be quiet, Froggy," Bel murmured before he kissed Fran again, erotically exploring his mouth with his expert tongue.

Fran responded to the kiss, as he always did, but maybe this time just a tad more enthusiastically. Today's kiss with Bel was different from the usual. It was rawer, hotter, a lot more intense and way more arousing than it ever was before.

Bel always managed to do this to him – constantly changing his life routine. Just when Fran thought he had settled down in life at Namimori as a spy for Dynamite in Varia, Bel traipsed in and messed with it by adding in a daily pattern of kisses. And just when Fran finally thought he had gotten used to _that, _the prince had to jumble it up again by amplifying it to something… Something that was somewhat _more_ than just kissing.

What were they, really? Fran never really bothered to give it enough time or enough thought to figure it out. They weren't just colleagues, definitely, and at times they were each other's worst enemies. But, in other times they shared kisses far more lustful than necessarily required for their particular deal. Were they – what was that word… - _friends with benefits_? Was that what they were?

"Senpai," Fran murmured, gripping Bel's shoulders warningly when Bel started sucking on regions of his neck a little _too_ low. Those long fingers had dragged down the collar of Fran's t-shirt and Bel latched his mouth down on Fran's pale skin at the area lower down from his collar bone.

"Hm…?" Bel hummed innocently as he lapped at the darkly bruised spot, lingering on Fran's skin with the tip of his tongue.

"Don't just 'hm?' me… nnh- impossible moronic fake-prince…" Fran managed to slip in an insult. He always did – it was in his nature.

"That's not cute at all," Bel mumbled. Then, as though hit with a sudden inspiration, the prince quickly spun Fran around and laid him down on the kitchen table. His own body followed immediately afterwards, lying on top of his kouhai and allowing Fran no means of escape.

Fran stared up at him, confused by this new position he was put in.

Bel smirked. "You can be quite adorable like this, Froggy. You know, when you shut-"

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

There was a knock and a voice at the door. "Uh, excuse me? Oh! Uh, sorry! I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to...um..."

Bel narrowed his eyes, cocking his head to one side, before he called out, "Yamamoto Takeshi?"

"Eh? Oh... Bel!" Yamamoto was flustered. His cheeks were red and he had an embarrassed-look on his face. At first he thought he had walked in on two complete strangers making out in the kitchen – but now that he realized it was Belphegor, who traipsed around the world without care, Yamamoto felt slightly better.

"What are you doing here?" Bel asked him curiously. Then, he stood upright and added with a bright smile. "Or have you decided to finally join Varia? Squalo will be thrilled!"

"Oh, no, um... I'm just delivering sushi," Yamamoto explained, holding up the two large bags of sushi boxes.

"Pity," Bel said, before he motioned over to the kitchen table Fran's body didn't occupy. "Just put the food there then."

"Alright." Yamamoto walked into the room, still feeling just a bit awkward, and set the bags on the table. "I didn't know you lived here."

"Ushishi... Don't be silly, the prince lives in a palace, obviously," Bel snickered. "This is the Varia base – belongs to the boss."

"Ah, of course." Yamamoto nodded. That was the way things worked in Dynamite as well.

Fran, who was still lying on the table beneath Bel's hold, protested in monotone, "Hello? I'm still here if you haven't noticed. Can you just shut up for a moment and get off me already, moron-senpai?"

Bel let go of the kouhai, who quickly sat up and hopped off the table. The prince shook his head. "So un-cute, Froggy, so un-cute..."

"As if I care what you think of me, you idiotic prince," Fran mumbled, adjusting his clothes.

"Hey..." Yamamoto looked at Fran, "...I've seen you before. You're a Nami High student, right?"

Fran nodded. "Freshman."

"The frog's the newest Varia member – _unfortunately_," Bel added with a sharp smile.

Fran gave the prince a long, blank stare. The prince found this surprising. He had expected Fran to throw some insults right back at him. But before the prince could mention this, the youngest member of Varia had already exited the kitchen. As Fran walked past Yamamoto, he mumbled in monotone, "Excuse me."

Bel snickered as he watched Fran leave, "Ushishi... Weird little frog, isn't he?"

Yamamoto smiled dryly, not knowing how to respond when the phrase came from one of the strangest people he had ever met. Thus, Yamamoto resorted to the typical phrase he used whenever he didn't know how to continue chit-chat with his customers, "Do you want to pay now or later at the restaurant?"

"Of course the prince can pay immediately," Bel said, pulling out his wallet. As Bel fumbled for the right amount of money, he said, completely out of the blue, "So how are things going with the head prefect?"

"Oh, um... We're good, thanks," Yamamoto replied.

"Heh. It must be hard dating two people at the same time, ne?" Bel said, before he handed a sum of money over to Yamamoto. "There you go."

Yamamoto stared at Bel with a dumbfounded expression. "Wait, what...?"

"Hm? Did the prince give you the wrong amount?" Bel leaned his head to one side.

"No, that's not it...," Yamamoto said, finally taking the money from Bel, before he continued, "I mean, what you said before..."

"Oh. _That_," Bel said, as if it was an insignificant issue. Maybe to him it really was. "Why? Aren't you dating the Smoking Bomb of Dynamite?"

Yamamoto blinked at him in disbelief, "How did you...?"

"Because the prince is a genius," Bel replied immediately with a cheeky grin. "I saw the signs and just sort of linked it all together – like wires and knives, ushishi... But really, Yamamoto, the prince didn't expect that of your character at all. To think that such a seemingly warm, kindhearted person would cheat! Guess you really can't take people at face value, ne?"

"Uh...yeah, about that...," Yamamoto mumbled, "I'm actually in the middle of trying to figure things out. It's impossible."

Bel nodded, casually opening a bag of chips, "Of course it is. That Hibari Kyouya is quite attractive, and so is Smoking Bomb, if the prince does say so himself."

"Ah, it's not just that...," Yamamoto said, trailing off in his thoughts. He wondered whether Bel could give him any advice, seeing as the prince already knew and was actually the only outsider who knew. Yamamoto decided to try his luck. "Hey, Bel, can I ask you something?"

The prince nodded, popping a piece of potato chip into his mouth. "Sure."

Yamamoto took a breath. "If you were in my situation... How would you decide?"

"Honestly, the prince would just keep both of them." Bel shrugged dismissively. But then he saw Yamamoto's worried expression, and decided to take pity on him – as any good prince should take on any peasant. "But if the prince had to really choose one...then logically, the prince would go for the second one the prince fell for."

"Eh? Why?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

"Because if you think about it logically." Bel paused to pop another piece of potato chip into his mouth, "If you were really into the first person, then you wouldn't have fallen for the second person, ne*?"

"...that's true," Yamamoto murmured.

"But then again, the prince is just speaking on logical terms. And as those annoying old people say, these matters are never logical." Bel shrugged once again. "So it's really just up to you."

Yamamoto agreed with Bel to a certain extent. It really was true – when Yamamoto fell for Gokudera, he wasn't all that connected with Hibari. But now, matters were different. Because now, he really did feel that he loved Hibari, whilst at the same time, he had gone too far with Gokudera to be able to bear letting him go. Bel's logic didn't work here. Any sort of logic couldn't work here.

"Thanks Bel... I'll be leaving now," Yamamoto said, rather deflated by the entire situation.

"You're welcome." Bel flashed his Cheshire cat's smile. Then, as Yamamoto began to exit the room, Bel added, "Oh, by the way, Yamamoto... You really should appreciate your lovers for allowing you to be this selfish."

The words weren't spoken out of tact, but they stabbed right into the centre of Yamamoto's chest.

An image of Gokudera's face flashed in his mind.

'…_I'll give you one month to decide,'_

'_I know what I want, and I'll fight for it.'_

It was obvious that the silvernette cared for Yamamoto. He cared for Yamamoto enough to give him the selfish time he needed. He cared for him enough to fight for him. He cared for him so much, that it was possibly more than the magnitude of which Yamamoto cared for him in return.

That was why he couldn't be so selfish to leave Gokudera hanging when he already knew that he was in love with Hibari. He couldn't do that to him anymore. He couldn't create any more hope, couldn't form any more bridges if all he would do in the end was destroy them. No. Yamamoto wouldn't let Gokudera crash harder than he should just because of his own selfishness.

He had to end this, and end it fast. Yamamoto had to end it before he could change his mind and hurt Gokudera all over again.

Yamamoto mounted his motorcycle and drove off towards Lancia's house, the Dynamite base. He focused his mind entirely on driving – and he drove fast. He didn't want to allow himself any opportunities to feel the hurt beforehand. Because the hurt would make him hesitate, and that hesitation will be the cause of Gokudera's future suffering.

And with every second on that motorcycle, Yamamoto's heart throbbed viciously as it awaited its soon-arriving breakdown.

* * *

**12.47pm**

Yamamoto leaned against his motorcycle and stared, absentmindedly, at the sky.

The sky was clear blue and beautifully bright. It didn't make sense. How could the day appear to be so wonderful when something completely awful was about to happen?

_It has to be short. And fast. _Yamamoto repeated to himself._ Don't allow any time to change your mind. You have to break it off today, no matter what he says, no matter how much it'll hurt…_

_It must be done today. Right now. Or else you'll never be able to do it._

_You have to break it off with him._

His heart clenched at the thought, and Yamamoto almost gasped with the pain.

_I don't want to do this..._

"Sushi guy...? What are you doing over there?"

Yamamoto turned to see Skull standing by the front door.

"Hey, Skull..." Yamamoto croaked – his throat was dry, and he didn't realize it. He cleared his throat briefly before he asked, "Is...is Gokudera here?"

Skull nodded, "Yup. He's upstairs – probably still sleeping. You wanna go wake him up?"

_No. I don't want to wake him up for this. I really don't..._

"Yeah, sure," Yamamoto mumbled, dragging his motorcycle into the parking lot and entering the house after Skull.

The place was unusually quiet and peaceful. The house which used to be packed with gang members was now relatively empty, save for Skull, who was pouring himself some cereal.

"Senpai's in the guest room. You go up and it's the first room to the left," Skull instructed.

Yamamoto nodded silently and began making his way to the room.

_This is it. It's coming closer – any moment now and it'll be over._

A bitter lump formed in Yamamoto's throat as he stood in front of the door. He swallowed thickly, knocked on the door twice, lightly, before he stepped in – trying to make as little noise as possible.

Gokudera was sleeping soundlessly on the bed, his petite form curled up into a ball beneath the covers. The room was dark, the only source of light being the streak of sunshine that peaked through the curtains.

Yamamoto closed the door gently behind him and stood there for a while, watching Gokudera from a distance, making time for himself. Then, he decided that if this were to be the last time then he wanted to see Gokudera fully. Thus, Yamamoto moved slowly from standing by the door to kneeling by the bed.

Gokudera's eyelashes were long. Yamamoto always knew, but he never thought they were as long as they appeared to be at this moment. Subconsciously, he reached out and ran his thumb gently over the tips of them eyelashes. They were soft, and so light he could hardly feel them. Yamamoto let his fingers trail along Gokudera's cheekbone, and wondered why his skin was so smooth. His fingers traced Gokudera's jaw line down to his lips, slightly parted. Yamamoto allowed his thumb to run over them, too.

Those lips were soft as flower petals. Yamamoto could almost taste them on the tip of his tongue. They always tasted like the smell of tobacco and the touch of something wonderful – a sweet in its bitterness. Something akin to dark chocolate melting on one's tongue. But nothing could fully compare to Gokudera's kiss. His kisses were usually desperate in nature, giving the sense that he needed more and more; but within that was also restraint, holding back just to allow the moment to sink in.

Yamamoto closed his eyes, unable to look at Gokudera any longer without leaning in and kissing him right then and there.

_I'm breaking up with you. I must. I can't be selfish and keep you with me anymore. _Yamamoto thought bitterly.

_I'm breaking up with you._

_...but that doesn't mean I don't care for you. It doesn't mean I wouldn't miss you._

_I'll miss you. I'll miss you so, so much._

_I'll miss kissing you. I'll miss the way your lips move against mine, the taste of your tongue. I'll miss holding you. I'll miss how your arms found their way around my back, how you pressed yourself closer to me – especially when you cried and tried to stop yourself from trembling in my arms. I'll miss your voice murmuring my name. I'll miss your smile – that rare faint hint of a smile you reserved for me, and me alone. I'll miss talking to you. I'll miss hearing the things you never told anyone – getting to know your hidden vulnerable side. I'll miss your rebellious side. I'll miss your laugh. I'll miss your eyes. Your hair. Your lips, your cheeks, your face, your body, your breath... Your everything._

_I'll miss how much you care for me._

_I'll miss how you were mine._

_I'll miss _you_._

Yamamoto opened his eyes again, and they were warm with tears.

_I don't want to do this. I don't…_

"Gokudera...," he whispered. His throat was dry and his hand was quivering as they brushed away strands of hair from Gokudera's face. His fingertips were numb and cold.

_I don't want to lose you._

Yamamoto's chest hurt. His heart was screeching at him in pain, on the verge of exploding. He didn't know that it would hurt this much. He never knew, until now, how much he really did feel towards Gokudera. All of that was becoming clear now. Now that he was forcing himself to tear everything off.

But it hurt. It hurt so badly.

Yamamoto wasn't ready to let go – he didn't know whether he ever would be.

_How can I let you go when I...feel this much for you?_

"Nnh..." Gokudera stirred.

Yamamoto rolled in his lips, clenching his fists and closing his eyes once again. _Don't wake up. Please. Just a moment more. I don't want to do this. Not yet._

"Yamamoto...?" Gokudera murmured sleepily, his eyes opening only slightly.

Yamamoto was thankful for the lights being off. If it wasn't this dark, Gokudera would've seen his eyes. And he would've seen that they were in pain; that there were tears brimming within them. He pressed his face into Gokudera's pillow and spoke with a muffled voice, "...hey."

A faint smile that Yamamoto loved spread across Gokudera's lips, those emerald eyes shining. Gokudera whispered back, "Hey... Didn't expect to see you here."

_Do it. Break up with him._

"Yeah...I should've called," Yamamoto mumbled.

Gokudera shook his head, hair falling adorably in his face. "Nah...I'm glad."

_You have to do it. Now._

"Gokudera, I...," Yamamoto started, but he wouldn't continue. He _couldn't_ continue. His voice was caught in his throat. His body was physically stopping him from saying the words.

"Hm...?" Gokudera looked at Yamamoto's face, those emerald eyes watching him with concern. "What's wrong, Yamamoto?"

_Go on. Do it. Right now. Pull the trigger._

Yamamoto felt his heart being torn. A dagger was slowly being pushed into the core. A tear rolled down his face but he buried it in the pillow. "I..."

_ ...and kill us both._

Gokudera noticed the pain. Immediately, he was worried – but he wasn't sure if he should intrude. Assiduously, he rested his hand on the back of Yamamoto's neck and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb.

Yamamoto's hand gripped the bed sheets tight. _Don't. Don't make this even harder for me._

"Hey...," Gokudera whispered softly. "...it's okay. Whatever it is, I'm here."

_You won't be. Not after I do this to you. _Yamamoto's chest was throbbing violently.

_But I have to. I don't want to hurt you more in the end._

With a deep breath, Yamamoto looked up and began, "Gokudera, I think..."

But there it was again. The lump formed the moment his eyes met with those emerald pools – filled with nothing but concern for him. That lump in his throat that refused to let him speak.

Because he didn't want to let Gokudera go. He just couldn't allow himself to let go. He couldn't lose him. Not now, not ever. _Because..._

"Yamamoto...?" Gokudera murmured.

..._because I love him._

The realization hit Yamamoto like a splash of cold water. His emotions fully awakened just when he was on the verge of losing Gokudera. And almost as an automatic response, he climbed up onto the bed and pulled Gokudera into his arms. He hugged the petite body tight, close, and with so much force that it nearly took the air out of Gokudera.

_Mine. You're mine and in my arms and I just can't let you go._

Gokudera was confused, but he didn't pull away. He looked up at the baseball player who was holding onto him as though he was afraid he would slip away. "...Yamamoto, what's going-"

Yamamoto kissed him.

And it wasn't one of those usual kisses between them. This was something entirely different.

Usually, Yamamoto kissed his lips. This time, however, it was as though Yamamoto was kissing his soul.

_You're mine and in my arms, and I love you, I love you, I love you._

_ ..._

_ And I know this is going to kill me...because I love _him_, too._

* * *

**A/N: **It's been a long time since this update and I apologize for that... my life has gotten a WHOLE LOT busier since the new school year started. Don't worry though! I will NEVER leave any fic incomplete. So if you're still here and still reading... THANK YOU. I really appreciate all of your support! :D My motivation for writing the final part of this chapter was based solely on your reviews.

**B/N: ***Haha, I'm pretty sure that that's from a quote by Johnny Depp (Damn, that guy is hot). ANYWAYS, the quote is…

_"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."_

**EDIT A/N: **Yes, my beta has caught me.. xD That quote/idea came from Johnny Depp.


	17. Threats

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing.

Beta'ed by the amazing **AmbiguousThoughts** who is patient with me even in times of internet idiocy and brain-deadness...

* * *

**11.18pm**

[Hey Hibari, I was just wondering...]

"Hn?"

[Did you date anyone before you dated me?]

Hibari's heart flipped. The question hit way too close to home – no wonder Yamamoto was the ace of the baseball team. The image of Dino resurfaced in Hibari's mind, and following that was the memory of their too-recent kiss. Hibari had thought about telling Yamamoto, but he didn't want him to become worried. After all, there was nothing that he should be concerned about. Hibari's relationship with Dino was a subject of the past – over and done with.

At least, that was what it was supposed to be.

Hibari wasn't a fool. He was smart enough and had matured enough to know that a part of him still very much wanted Dino in his life. The way that he had reacted to the man's kiss was more than enough evidence of his feelings. That being said, Hibari was also aware that a tiny piece of him would always long for Dino. Dino had embedded himself into Hibari's being and there was nothing he could change about that. What he _could_ change was the future that lied ahead, along with the person that the larger part of his heart cared for – and Hibari refused to let Dino get involved again. Not this time. Not after what Dino did to him. His feelings for Dino had to be forever be sealed up and buried deep down into a place where it would be nothing more than a sweet memory.

[Hibari...? You've gone quiet.]

"Ah." Hibari was brought away from his thoughts by Yamamoto's voice. "I was just...thinking."

[About what I asked you?]

"...yes," Hibari admitted quietly.

Yamamoto noticed the change in Hibari's tone of voice. [Hey... You know if you don't want to talk about it that's fine by me.]

"No. It's fine," Hibari quickly replied._ It shouldn't bother me anymore._

_...it really isn't supposed to bother me anymore._

Hibari began, "I'm not-"

They were interrupted by Hibari's bedroom door sliding open – no knocking or any warning beforehand. There was only one person in the Hibari household who would dare do such a thing.

It was the Skylark's father, Hibari Kaien.

The Hibari son quickly sat himself up from his bed, disconnected the line, and set his mobile phone behind him.

"Kyouya." Kaien stepped inside, sliding close the door behind him. The permanent frown was on his face as usual. "Who were you talking to so late at night?"

"A friend," the younger Hibari replied, not meeting his father's eyes. Lately, the tension between them had worsened. Since Kaien was never really home, the two barely exchanged two words in a week's time.

Kaien narrowed his eyes. "Male or female?"

"Male," his son simply said.

Kaien nodded, and continued. "Not so trained in his mannerisms isn't he? Does his family not teach him that it's rude to call people up at such a time?"

_Probably not, because his father is a human being who actually cares about his son. _"I was the one who told him to call."

"At this time?" Kaien's frown deepened. "You should be doing something productive – studying, for example. And what about training? Just because the school's having a break doesn't mean you can stop working."

"Yes, I know." _You've repeated that to me since I was a child._

"Oh, do you? Then why were you on the phone when you're supposed to be studying? Are you sure you're not lying to me when you say this 'friend' of yours is male, Kyouya?"

"He's male," he assured in a bored manner.

The Skylark wanted to scoff. _As if that makes any difference, Father, I've already slept with a man._

Bad move. Now he was thinking about Dino. Again. _Damn._

"Who is he, exactly?" Kaien wanted to know, "I don't want you socializing with people below our family standards. I don't want anyone giving you bad influences."

The Hibari son remained silent. _I'm sick of this._

"Look, Kyouya, dirty people will only taint our clan. You're still too immature to differentiate between the good and bad but, trust me, I know what I'm talking about. People of lower standards will never approach you without some pathetic motive. What if they're trying to take money from us, huh? Have you thought about that before?" Kaien continued. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, Son. I'm trying to help you here."

"..." _I'm sick of all of it._

"You will _not_ go around making Aiyana and I look bad by hanging around the lower-classes. Do you understand what I am saying? You will not _disgrace_ our family name anymore than you already do with your petty fights at school. Really, when will you learn to control your emotions? It's all for your own good, you know? Why, when I was your age, I tell you, I never-"

_Enough. _Kyouya frowned, mumbling, "...will you stop?"

Kaien looked at his son. "What was that?"

"Just stop. Stop even trying to pretend that you care, because clearly you don't. All you care about is your stupid image and your precious whore." The Hibari son glared right into his father's eyes and spat, "It's _disgusting_."

Kaien's hand was immediately on Kyouya's collar, tightly gripping it. He spoke through clenched teeth, "Apologize, Son. _Right now_."

He shook his head. "No."

"_Kyouya!_" Kaien was on the verge of roaring with fury.

"Hit me. I don't care. I'm not sorry." Kyouya's sharp eyes were intense.

For a moment, Kaien really looked like he was going to punch his son across the jaw. But when he looked at Kyouya's face, something flickered within him and he let go.

The Skylark, who had been fully expecting a hit, was more or less confused. But when he saw his father's expression, he'd never seen anything so cold – so _unfeeling_.

"You disappoint me," Kaien said simply, before he left the room, closing the door silently. There were no loud slams, no violence, no shouting. It felt almost anticlimactic.

But, somehow, that was worse. That short, brief encounter between them was worse than any argument they ever had. Kyouya would rather have his father hit him than...than _this_.

Because even worse than anger and hatred was _indifference._

That was it. His father simply did not care about him enough to feel anything. Kaien would've yelled at him or hit him or at least showed _some_ emotion if he cared for Kyouya. But he didn't. Kaien did not see the younger Hibari as his son. The Skylark wondered whether he ever did.

And he knew it shouldn't hurt him, but it did – and not in the way that Hibari thought it would. He thought the pain would be fierce and vicious, but all he felt was a horrible, physical hollow vacuum within him. It was sickening.

There was a sudden urge to hit something. Snatching his tonfas from their stand, Hibari walked up to the largest, most expensive vase in his bedroom and slammed at it with all his might. The empty vase shattered into tiny pieces, some of which cut Hibari's bare arm as it flew. But he didn't care. He saw the blood but did not feel the pain.

Hibari threw his tonfas violently against the wall before he clutched his head with both hands, breathing harshly. Blood trickled down his arm from one of the cuts and dripped onto the floor. Hibari ground his teeth in frustration and gripped the wounds, not caring that he would bruise them. In fact, that would be even better. Why should he care how injured his body was when his only family didn't?

_Nobody. Nobody cares._

He gripped his own arm tighter and felt his fingertips go numb from the loss of circulation. He was furious. Hibari was angry and upset and _boiling_ with fury. His hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly, and his entire frame quivered with the mere force of emotion. He wanted to scream, yell, destroy and break, break, _break_ into a thousand pieces just like that vase.

Then all of sudden his phone beeped. At the corner of his sight, he saw his mobile flashing.

There was a text from Yamamoto.

In a rush, a wave of surprising tranquility came over Hibari and he was suddenly calm. Bitter, but calm. Yamamoto seemed to have the ability to do that to him. The mere presence of him was a shower of peace.

Hibari exhaled. Slowly, he picked up the mobile and opened the message.

[What happened? Are you okay?]

The Skylark felt a thick lump form in his throat.

_He _cares.

For a moment, Hibari felt as though he would spill over. Everything was bubbling up inside him and he wanted to let it all go – the way he never felt loved by his father, how he always had been so lonely in his isolation, the past of his heartbreak – he wanted to let all of it go. Frantically, Hibari began typing on his cell phone everything he had on his mind, pressing so hard into each key it was a wonder the phone didn't crack under the pressure.

However, all of a sudden, Hibari stopped. Then, he deleted everything he just typed and replaced it with a simple:

[Nothing – just a connection failure. I'm fine, just going to sleep.]

And Hibari was glad that text could not convey emotion, because everything he wrote to Yamamoto was a lie. It wasn't 'nothing', and he was definitely not 'fine'.

But Hibari didn't want to tell Yamamoto. As much as he needed to release his pent up emotions, he didn't want Yamamoto to hear them. He didn't want Yamamoto to know this side of him – it was too weak and too vulnerable and..._pitiful_. And the last thing he wanted was Yamamoto's pity.

A text came back from Yamamoto: [Alright, goodnight then! Call me if you can't sleep.]

Sighing, Hibari set his phone down on the bed. He felt slightly guilty for not telling Yamamoto the truth, but he just _couldn't_. He didn't want Yamamoto to know about all of his pathetic issues and he didn't want Yamamoto to perceive him in a sympathetic way. That would only make everything worse.

Hibari would recover; on his own and in his own way. Alone – as he always had been.

Grabbing his coat, Hibari exited the house through his window.

* * *

**8.59am**

Yamamoto woke up the next morning feeling less confused than he ever was since the entire Gokudera-Hibari affair began. After he realized that he was in love with two people, Yamamoto definitely had more conflict. But, he also finally understood why it was so difficult for him to choose. And he could feel it inside him that, eventually, he would be able to make things right. It would kill a part of him inside, of course; but for some reason, something settled within Yamamoto that he would eventually be able to make a decision.

The baseball player had gone for his morning run to clear his mind for the day before he took a long refreshing shower, thinking of the two people he loved. They were incredible in so many different ways, and he couldn't possibly compare them. Using reason and logic, Yamamoto discovered, would not work in this situation. He didn't understand why he ever thought he could rely on those factors. It was all about his instincts – and based on that, Yamamoto trusted that he would make the right decision.

Yamamoto was more at peace. Yes, he was aware that he was a mere month away from partial heartbreak – but somehow, he could accept it. He wouldn't try to force the two people he loved to elongate their endurance for his selfishness – when the time finally came, he would take the pain.

The difficulty remaining was that he didn't want to hurt any of the two – and that was, really, Yamamoto's one true concern.

Yamamoto's lips tightened around the corners, the stress falling upon him once again. _How will I ever make it up to them...__?_

But when he stepped out of the bathroom door and found no one else but a certain unexpected silvernette sitting on his bed with a rare smile on that face, Yamamoto's heart warmed.

"Surprise." Gokudera gave him a cheeky wave. "Morning, baseball idiot."

Yamamoto chuckled before launching himself on top of Gokudera and toppling both of them onto the bed. Gokudera laughed at the attack, wrapping his arms around Yamamoto's neck. Yamamoto couldn't resist kissing the other's cheek. He murmured, "Someone's in a good mood today..."

"Who says I'm in a good mood?" Gokudera poked him. "You ruined everything. I was planning to wake you up with my super spontaneous surprise visit, but oh no, you had to go and be a baseball moron and already went out running before I even arrived." Gokudera pouted. Yamamoto found it adorable. He leaned in to kiss Gokudera on his other cheek but Gokudera playfully pushed his face away. Yamamoto smirked and countered by clasping both of Gokudera's hands above his head. With those hands immobile, Yamamoto stole the kiss on the cheek he was originally aiming for – elongating it just to get back at the silvernette.

After the kiss, Yamamoto let go of Gokudera's hand but still remained lying on top of the other. "So what's the special occasion?"

"Nothing really." Gokudera shrugged easily. A faint smile was painted on his lips. "I just woke up early and thought of you."

Yamamoto wondered whether Gokudera knew just how sweet he was behaving – was he doing it deliberately? More importantly, was Gokudera aware of what sort of effect this adorable attitude of him was having on the baseball player?

Yamamoto decided he wanted Gokudera to be aware. So he kissed him.

If Gokudera was taken by surprise, it was a pleasant one, and the silvernette melted right into Yamamoto's lips. Gokudera's kiss, Yamamoto noticed, was tinged with the scent of tobacco and a rich, bitter taste of coffee. Yamamoto, on the other hand, had a fresh shampoo and soapy fragrance to him that Gokudera enjoyed.

Subconsciously, Gokudera's hand slid up Yamamoto's neck and ran through his hair. As though that had flipped a switch, the lovable, soft kiss delved into heavy desire. Before either of them knew it, their tongues were wrestling passionately and Yamamoto's hands were up exploring Gokudera's body beneath his shirt.

"Nn... Yama-" Gokudera broke off in a quiet gasp when Yamamoto's fingers found the top of his chest.

"Gokudera," Yamamoto breathed, moving his lips to kiss the silvernette's neck and loving the way his skin felt beneath his lips and hands. He tweaked Gokudera's nipple and the petite form writhed beneath him, letting slip a tiny moan.

_Oh, this is bad. This is... This has to stop before…_

Gokudera pulled Yamamoto's face back towards himself and sealed his lips with a tongue-baiting, lustful kiss. Yamamoto's body pressed harder onto Gokudera's own, and the two males moaned simultaneously.

Fingers digging into the other's shoulders, Gokudera breathily whispered, "Yamamoto..."

_Okay, this is really has to stop. Now._

"Goku-" Yamamoto stole another kiss, before he forced himself to pull away. "Gokudera."

"Nnh...?" Gokudera looked up at him, emerald eyes sparkling with passion. The silvernette was panting with his face flushed red, wet lips parted, and with his shirt up revealing his slim body.

It took all the willpower Yamamoto had to resist him. "Gokudera, we have to stop."

"Why?" Gokudera almost pouted.

Yamamoto couldn't stop himself from kissing Gokudera quickly just once more. Then, he forced himself to sit up and, reluctantly, removed himself from Gokudera's body. "If we continue I'd..."

"You would...?" Gokudera eyed him with those hungry emerald eyes, trailing his fingertips down Yamamoto's torso, a devilish grin on his face.

_Damn it, don't tempt me..._Yamamoto closed his eyes, mumbling, "My dad."

Gokudera sat up and leaned his head to one side. "Hm?"

"My dad's downstairs," Yamamoto tried to explain. "And I... If we continue I'm not sure if I can... Um... Stop myself. So..."

Gokudera raised a brow before his face split into an amused smile. "You're blushing, baseball idiot."

"Don't tease me." Yamamoto smiled back as he leaned in and pecked Gokudera on his forehead.

"Shut me up with a kiss?" Gokudera dared, smirking.

To which Yamamoto laughed and pulled the silvernette onto his lap. Gokudera sunk comfortably into his arms, that playful smirk still on his face.

Yamamoto pressed his forehead to Gokudera's, before he darted out his tongue and lapped, once, at the inner part of Gokudera's top lip. He grinned. "There."

"Tease," Gokudera muttered, before he jerked Yamamoto's chin towards himself and kissed him passionately as if to show Yamamoto what he should've done.

Yamamoto chuckled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Gokudera's waist to pull him closer, pressing that slim body to his own athletic form.

_Ah, here we go again..._

* * *

**11.18am**

"Kyouya..."

Hibari's eyes were closed, but he could feel the essence around him. There was that light scent of perfume, a soft, gentle voice and...

There was warmth. It was soothing, calming and so, _so_ comfortable. It made him feel at home. It allowed him to feel that he had a core – a place he could put weight on.

It was the warmth that Hibari loved.

It was the warmth that belonged specifically to only one person.

"Dino..." Hibari breathed his name.

What shocked him out of his sleep, however, was the voice that answered back, "I'm here."

Hibari's eyes flew open and he immediately snapped his head towards the source of that voice – and sure enough, there he was. Dino Cavallone – as tall, blonde and as handsome as he always had been.

"What are you-" Hibari paused, sat up, and looked around. He was on a bed in what he suspected was a hotel room, and Dino was sitting next to him, holding his hand. Hibari snatched his hand away. "Where am I?"

"Hotel room – I'm currently staying here," Dino replied.

_Hotel room. With Dino._

_ No, this is not good at all._

"I'm leaving," Hibari announced, beginning to move off the bed.

Dino grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Kyouya, wait."

"No." Hibari tried to pull his arm away, but Dino's grip was firm. "Let go!"

"Kyouya, please, listen to me... Hear me out just this once...," Dino pleaded softly. His voice sounded genuinely heartbroken.

Hibari hated that there was a painful jab reaction in his chest to that tone of Dino's. He shouldn't care, and he wouldn't. Not looking at Dino, Hibari spoke in his coldest voice, "Why should I? Why should I listen? Why should I care? After what you did... I..."

Hibari had tried to keep his cool. He had tried to contain his voice. But he was shaking – his hands, his voice, and his heart. They were trembling. Dino noticed right away. He tried to pull Hibari into his arms, but Hibari stiffened himself and resisted. He would not allow himself any sort of intimacy with Dino. It was too risky – too dangerous.

Dino let go of him, hurt. He spoke quietly, "Okay... I understand. You don't have to listen. You have every right to be mad at me."

Hibari crossed his arms and turned away. Those brown eyes would get to him if he slipped up and looked into them.

Dino continued, "But...please, at least tell me what's going on. I'm worried about you."

This confused the Skylark. "What do you mean, 'what's going on'?"

"I found you sleeping in the park at two in the morning... What's wrong?"

_So that's how I got here. _Hibari reeled last night's events in his head. _Argument with my father, I got frustrated so I left home to take a walk and...I probably fell asleep._

The Skylark shook his head. "Nothing."

"That's a lie," Dino immediately responded.

"What?" Hibari did turn to look at him this time.

Huge mistake. Those brown eyes of Dino's were deeper and warmer than ever. "Kyouya... I know you. You go to that park whenever something's wrong – I would've taken you back to your house if I didn't know that."

Hibari bit his bottom lip, averting his gaze. "It's...none of your business."

Dino went silent then – and for one betraying moment, Hibari felt guilty for possibly hurting him with his words. He clenched his fists and willed the emotion away.

_He could go and suffer in hell for all I care._

...the only problem was that it wasn't true. Hibari cared, and he knew it. He would always care.

Dino had climbed onto the bed and sat next to the Skylark. Surprisingly, for once, Hibari didn't move away. Yes, Dino had hurt him terribly. But Hibari still, perhaps foolishly, trust that the man he once loved would never force anything he truly did not want upon him.

And, in hindsight, that scared him...because Dino had forced a kiss on him only just recently. Which only meant that either Dino was not the man Hibari thought he was, or...

Hibari didn't want to even consider it.

Deep in his thoughts, Hibari did not notice that Dino was now holding his hand. And before he could pull away once again, Dino murmured softly, "It's your father, isn't it?"

Hibari felt his heart ache horribly. Most of the pain was from the damage his father had been causing his entire life. The other small part, however, hurt because he realized just how well Dino knew him.

_I've never told him._

_ I've never told anyone._

"How..." Hibari turned to face him. He couldn't finish the sentence, but Dino already knew what he was trying to say.

"There were a few other things, but you always had this look in your eyes whenever I mentioned him... It's not hard for me to tell," Dino explained in a gentle voice, the hand on Hibari's rubbing soothing circles with its thumb. His brown eyes gazed into Hibari, "Just how long have you been enduring all this pain...?"

Hibari felt his throat tighten.

_Don't._

Dino lifted his other hand to stroke the back of Hibari's head, ever so softly murmuring, "You can let it go. I won't ask you any questions – you don't have to tell my anything if you don't want to. But you should know that you don't have to keep it all to yourself. Let it go."

Hibari's eyes were burning. There was a dry lump in his throat.

_Don't._

_Do. Not. Cry._

_I forbid it – not now, not in front of him...I don't want to be so pathetic that he has to-_

"I won't pity you. It won't change my opinion of you." Dino looked right into Hibari's eyes. "I'll just be here – for as long as you want, Kyouya."

And that was all Hibari needed to collapse.

And this time, when Dino pulled him into his arms, Hibari didn't refuse.

Hibari couldn't remember the last time he cried. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so weak, so exposed and yet...so relieved. It couldn't be helped. Dino knew him in such a way and to such an extent that there were no other options but to let go – and there couldn't be any place more comforting that being folded within the arms of the only person he ever loved.

Dino couldn't hear anything apart from the occasional gasping for breath. Hibari cried silently – no sound was emitted; only tears and body trembles were evident of his pain. Dino held him carefully, embracing him just enough for him to be comforted. A huge part of him longed to pull Hibari into his lap and press their bodies together so that he could fully hold the Skylark close – but Dino knew he couldn't step over any lines. He wasn't going to take advantage of Hibari's weakness.

They said nothing throughout the entire time. They didn't need to. Words weren't necessary when two people knew each other as thoroughly as they did.

And for a short while, with Hibari's head on Dino's shoulders, it felt like they were lovers once again.

But the moment was short-lived. As soon as Hibari regained his composure, he pulled away and broke their contact entirely. They were back to being two people who _used_ to be in love. It was one of the saddest things.

Hibari wiped at his face with the back of his hand, before he looked at Dino, no longer afraid to meet him eye-to-eye. Preparing himself for whatever the answer may be, Hibari finally asked the question he never allowed himself to – in fear of the reply, and in fear of falling.

"Why did you leave?"

* * *

Hibari couldn't believe it.

Dino was the successor of a mafia family – and not just any random mafia family, but one of the strongest and most influential families in Italy. With a pang, Hibari realized that this was the reason why he always had found Dino's surname Cavallone so familiar. In the past, the Hibari Clan had even been in contact with the Japanese branch of the Cavallone famiglia. But Hibari never considered making the connection. To him, Dino was a clumsy gap student who was finding funds for proper medical training – who would've thought that such a bright, good-hearted man was the only son of the head of a deadly mafia family?

"My parents sent me to Japan to keep me undercover. No one was supposed to know that I'm the successor – it was too dangerous," Dino explained. "But when my father got sick, someone leaked the information to opposing families."

"...you never told me," Hibari mumbled. Two years they were together, and for all that time, Dino kept all of this from him?

"I couldn't – I wanted to, Kyouya, but I couldn't. It wasn't safe – for both you and I." Dino never broke eye contact throughout the whole time he was speaking. "My dad's right-hand man was murdered a year ago. That was when they called me back to Italy to be under the protection of my family."

"That was when you left." Hibari was bitter. Yes, part of him understood that family matters were important, that Dino had no choice but to leave. But the other, irrational part of him still felt...terribly betrayed.

_Couldn't he have at least told me? Didn't he trust me? And couldn't he have at the very least left me some sort of way to contact him? After such a night as well…_

_...did you not miss me at all?_

The expression showed on the Skylark's face.

Dino grabbed Hibari's hand. "Kyouya... I didn't want to leave you. I thought about you all the time. I-"

"You never even called." Hibari shook his head.

"I _wanted_ to. I wanted to, so badly...," Dino murmured. "But I couldn't let anyone know about you. It wasn't safe. If anything was to happen to you I would..." Dino's voice broke off. His hand gripped Hibari's harder.

Hibari found himself shaking his head. _This doesn't make sense. If it was that dangerous then why come back? Why come back now? ...just when Yamamoto was beginning to fill up that hole you left..._

As if reading his thoughts, Dino continued, "I wasn't strong enough back then. If something happened I would've been completely helpless. So I went through training back in Italy – lots and lots of training every single day. Then by the time my father finally got better and he sent me back to Japan to handle the Japanese branch... It was a month ago. The first thing I wanted to do was to come see you. But from the way I left you, I didn't dare to. I was scared. What if you hated me and didn't want to see my face again? What if you moved on? What if, what if..."

Dino trailed off and sighed. "I was a coward, Kyouya. But then, when I saw you at Fujiyoshida, I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I missed you too much to stay away from you any longer. I'm selfish for that, but I just can't stand not having you in my arms."

Hibari hated himself for the happiness that bubbled up within him. All this time, he thought he had done something wrong and made Dino leave. He thought Dino had found somebody else. He thought Dino had just been playing him. But now that he knew Dino never forgot about him...

Hibari knew he shouldn't be okay with this. He should be furious with Dino for acting the way he did, for leaving him in such a horrible manner, for not being a man enough to come see him even when they were both in Japan...

But all Hibari could feel was warmth. And he hated it and loved it all the same.

"Kyouya, please..." Dino's brown eyes were molten caramel when they looked at the Skylark. He whispered, "I'm so sorry for leaving you, but _please_, give me a chance."

Hibari automatically shook his head – the hurt he had been through had scarred him, and Hibari learned from his mistakes. "I can't."

_I cannot go through another night of that again. I cannot allow myself to fall so low all over again._

Dino looked broken. "Kyouya..."

"Don't." Hibari rolled in his lips and turned away. He couldn't look into Dino's brown eyes without crumbling. Even Dino's mere presence was too much for him to handle. Hibari pulled his hand away from Dino and started to get off of the bed. "I have to go."

"Kyouya," Dino hugged him from behind, burying his face into the younger's shoulders. Through a muffled voice he murmured, "_Please_..."

Hibari couldn't move. He did not have the energy, or the resolve, to pull away. He just stood there as stiff and as silent as a statue, hoping that it might harden his heart as well.

Dino tightened his arms around him. "I wrote letters... Hundreds of them. I would write them whenever I missed you and then I would burn them. I begged my right-hand man, Romario, countless of times to call you, to fly here and see you just for one single night. I was even on my knees begging him – but he would remind me of the consequences that could've happened and stopped me."

Hibari clenched his fists and closed his eyes. _Don't let it affect you._

Dino continued, "I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was you, how I'd left you, and how I'd failed you. I couldn't concentrate on my training. I was lifeless – I missed you so much. Every time I was alone I would remember your scent, the way your body felt in my arms, your voice, your smile, your skin, the way you called my name, how you blushed... I would remember our every kiss, every embrace, and every single time it _killed_ me not to be here with you..."

"Dino, stop," Hibari murmured quietly, turning around to face him. "I-"

Dino kissed him. Hibari's heart dropped to his ankles.

Hibari wanted to push away but his hands and arms were all of a sudden powerless. His knees were rendered weak, and he was putty in Dino's hold. With their lips locked together, Dino took his breath away.

And the thing was that Dino wasn't even being forceful. This wasn't a harsh, possessive kiss like the one before. This kiss was gentle, soft and slow. It was a persuasion; it was Dino pleading for his forgiveness.

Hibari found it untenable.

That was why when Dino eventually broke the kiss and looked at him with those sad yet forever-loving puppy-brown-eyes, Hibari was terrified.

The young Skylark pushed away and literally sprinted out of the room, slamming the door behind him, full-force, and kept running still.

Because Dino was a threat – and, for once, that scared him.

* * *

**12.36pm**

"They're so green."

"Hm?" Gokudera turned to look at Yamamoto who was laying beside him on the bed, those brown eyes gazing at him. "What are?"

"Your eyes."

Gokudera was amused. "You look so intrigued."

"I am." Yamamoto nodded, smiling as he stared deeper into Gokudera's eyes. "They're like emeralds."

Gokudera chuckled. "Stop staring so much. If I was Medusa you would be completely turned into stone by now – as in, to the very core."

"I might be willing to," Yamamoto flirted with a cheeky grin.

"You're an idiot." Gokudera rolled his eyes, turning his back to Yamamoto.

Yamamoto laughed, toying with Gokudera's hair. "Who did you get them from?"

"Hm?"

"Your eyes. Your hair, too. I've never seen anyone with silver hair," Yamamoto mused, before he paused. "Oh wait. Squalo has silver hair too. But then he has blue eyes – yours are green. It's a strange combination."

Gokudera rolled back around to face Yamamoto with a little smile. "Ah... I got mine from my mom. She had silver hair."

Yamamoto's expression immediately softened. "I bet she was a beautiful woman."

Gokudera nodded, "She was. She had long, wavy silver hair down to her waist. I remember messing with it when she was trying to teach me how to play the piano."

Yamamoto reached out and brushed a strand of hair from Gokudera's forehead, the back of his fingers gently caressing his cheek. He knew that this was a sensitive subject for Gokudera – and it spoke volumes that Gokudera would be this open with him about it.

"What about your eyes? Did they come from your mother too?" Yamamoto asked.

Gokudera shook his head. "Nah, I think they're from my dad. My sister has them, too, so they must've come from my dad."

"Oh, so your dad doesn't have green eyes?"

"Not really... In some lights, maybe." Gokudera surprised himself by how calm and collected he sounded. Usually, any mentioning of his family would have him up in a tight, irritable mess – but somehow, with Yamamoto, he was able to talk about the matter with a cool head. It was amazing. Even the subject of his father was touchable – now that was a first. Was it because he had been away from that man for some time or was it just Yamamoto's natural ability to tranquilize everyone around him?

Then all of a sudden, it struck Gokudera that maybe – just maybe – he could tell Yamamoto about his father. Gokudera had never spoken about it to anyone apart from Bianchi, and even that was only because she witnessed it. Up to this point, Gokudera never uttered a word on the matter – fellow Dynamites had suspected but he never gave them any confirmation.

But he wanted to tell Yamamoto. And he knew it would be okay.

Taking one deep breath, Gokudera began, "Hey, Yama-"

DING-DONG.

The sound of the doorbell interrupted him.

Yamamoto ignored it. "What were you saying?"

Gokudera rolled in his lips. "Oh, nothing, it's just that I wanted to tell you-"

"Takeshi! Your friend's here to see you," Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, the baseball player's father, cheerfully called out from downstairs, interrupting Gokudera once again.

Yamamoto was confused. He sat up and called back down to his dad, "Who is it?"

It took a moment before his father replied, "...Hibari Kyouya-kun, he says."

The name struck like lightning.

Gokudera shot up from the bed, emerald eyes wide. "What the hell? Were you expecting him today?"

"No." Yamamoto shook his head, equally flustered. "I didn't expect to see either of you."

Tsuyoshi called back up once again, "I'm sending him up there, okay?"

"_Shit_." Gokudera swore a blue streak, "Shit shit _shit_, what the fuck am I supposed to do, climb out of the bloody window?"

"No, you can't, we're too high up." Yamamoto panicked. Even if Hibari has no idea about his relationship with Gokudera, the Skylark had the eyes of a falcon. Yamamoto was sure that if Hibari saw them together, he would know something was up right away. Pretending that Gokudera was just a normal friend over for a visit was out of the question. The prefect was way too sharp for that and both Yamamoto and Gokudera knew it.

"Then _what_?" Gokudera was glaring at him.

At a loss, Yamamoto could do nothing else but pull Gokudera into the bathroom. "Maybe you can hide in here for now?"

"Seriously?" Gokudera looked at Yamamoto in disbelief. Then, when Yamamoto gave him no reply, those emerald eyes changed into something harder – something closer to anger. "Are you fucking kidding me? ...Yamamoto!"

"I'm sorry, Gokudera, I- I don't know what else to do," Yamamoto looked like a lost puppy. Hurriedly, he apologized to Gokudera once again, before he shut the bathroom door.

A second later, Hibari Kyouya entered the room.

Yamamoto made a mental sigh of relief.

"Hibari," Yamamoto began, smiling at his lover. "I didn't know you were- whoa."

Taking Yamamoto fully by surprise, Hibari took three sharp strides towards him before the Skylark hugged him close, resting his head on Yamamoto's shoulders. Hibari's fingers, Yamamoto noticed, were trembling.

Yamamoto softened, hugging the prefect back. "Hibari...are you okay?"

* * *

"Hibari...are you okay?"

_No. I'm not okay. How can I be okay when just one stupid kiss can shake me up this much?_

Hibari hugged Yamamoto tighter, and Yamamoto automatically raised a hand to smooth the back of his head. Hibari snuggled into him, into Yamamoto's comforting warmth like a baby bird nudging itself into its mother's nest. Then, he sighed, finally calmed. Yamamoto truly was his shower of peace. All of his jumbled up thoughts settled into place and Hibari was back to being himself once again.

That was one of the many things Hibari adored about Yamamoto. Whenever he was with him, Hibari always felt grounded – as though he could feel where his core stood. Yamamoto had that way of allowing him to be completely himself, fully in his own shell. With Yamamoto, there was no longer a fear of being broken, only the comfort of his arms.

Hibari often compared Yamamoto to a lukewarm bath – because that was exactly how Yamamoto made him feel: tranquilized, relaxed, and refreshed as though he was living in a worry-free world. His troubles would melt away, leaving a tingling desire underneath his skin.

Desire. Out of nowhere, the emotion rose within him, and Hibari found himself all of a sudden yearning for Yamamoto's touch.

"Yamamoto..." Hibari looked up at him, moving his arms to wrap around Yamamoto's neck.

"Hm?" If Yamamoto sensed the changed vibe, he didn't show it. Those dark chocolate eyes were nothing but innocent as they looked into Hibari's piercing dark orbs.

Thus, always the one who never held back, Hibari took the initiative and sealed his lips to Yamamoto's.

Yamamoto was clearly taken aback at first, but naturally responded to his lover's kiss all the same. However, today, Yamamoto's slow and gentle ways just did not cut it for Hibari.

The Skylark wanted more, and he was going to get more.

Switching to predator-mode, Hibari held Yamamoto's face with one hand and kissed him hungrily, sucking and nibbling mercilessly on Yamamoto's bottom lip. The Skylark was determined to trigger Yamamoto's desire, and thus, did not hold back in his seduction. Hibari's tongue was in Yamamoto's mouth, with every ounce of that lithe body pressed right up against him, fingers running through his hair. The kiss that was initially soft and warm had turned into a burning hot, passion-filled battle – dominated by none other than the Skylark himself.

Breaking away from the kiss to bite Yamamoto's neck, Hibari whispered into Yamamoto's ear, hot breath blowing down the nape of Yamamoto's neck, "...I want you."

Yamamoto wouldn't have been a man if he wasn't turned on.

Unable to hold back any longer, Yamamoto pushed Hibari against the wall and sealed their lips together once again in a lustful, erotic kiss driven solely by animalistic instincts. Hibari moaned, responding with equal aggression, arching his back and digging his fingertips into Yamamoto's shoulders.

No matter where the desire came from, it was definitely here now – and it was only growing stronger, harder and hotter still.

"Nnh...," Hibari hummed pleasantly when Yamamoto slid a hand up his shirt, arching his body closer to the other.

"Hibari...," Yamamoto breathed, completely absorbed by this beautiful lustful creature before him as he leaned in to kiss Hibari's lips time and time again.

And unknowingly, with every kiss and every touch from the Skylark, Yamamoto's thoughts dissipated and slipped away...

– including ones about a certain green-eyed silvernette who sat in his bathroom, hearing _every single thing_.

* * *

**A/N:** Uh-oh, slight cliff hanger here~ Yes, there will be upcoming conflict – and yes, Yamamoto's being a total *insert whatever bad name you can come up with* right now. But hey, at least he's not doing it intentionally... :3

To clear things up with issues concerning Yamamoto's character: I am aware that some people may portray Yamamoto as a total saint/god who would never do something like date two guys at the same time as he does in this fic. But I see him as a good-hearted teenager – and being a teenager (and a _human_), he makes mistakes and he couldn't always control his emotions to do the right thing. Sometimes he doesn't even know what the 'right thing' is. But he IS trying his best, and he really isn't intentionally trying to hurt anyone – at least I hope that was how I conveyed him. So don't be _too_ harsh on him, ne? :3 (in other words: feel free to slam him all you want, but please don't hate him ;P)

As usual, your support and reviews are so amazing and I love all of you for reading this fic! :D THANK YOU SO MUCH! *cuddles* Have a wonderful holiday, all of you~


	18. Bitter Tobacco

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing.

With lots of love and appreciation for my beta, **AmbiguousThoughts** :D You are wonderful my darling, even after all this time of me being so terribly AWOL.

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

Yamamoto had no idea what exactly had gotten into Hibari, but he most definitely enjoyed what it was doing – more precisely, what it made Hibari do to _him_.

Hibari was on top of him on his bed with legs on either side of his body, hands roaming his torso, lips meshing hotly with Yamamoto's own. The baseball player was turned on beyond compare, part of the thrill being how unexpected the act was. Of course, Yamamoto knew Hibari was a beast in fights, but he never thought that the same streak could appear in a sexual context as well. And lord, Hibari was so _damn_ hot on top of him, seducing him as though Yamamoto was his favorite prey.

Hibari tugged on Yamamoto's bottom lip with his teeth, urging him for more, and Yamamoto responded by flipping Hibari onto his back, resting his full weight on top of the petite form. He bit down on Hibari's collar bone, the Skylark clawed his shoulders, and the two moaned simultaneously. Then, Hibari returned the act by sucking harshly on the sensitive area a little behind his ear. Yamamoto moaned his approval.

They were delving down into a whirlpool of desire; deeper and more intense with every warm breath on each other's skin, every delicious sparks shivering right through their spines.

But just as Hibari began to pull Yamamoto's shirt off him, something hit the baseball player – and it hit him harder than a blow to his head.

_Tobacco. _

There was a faint but definitely clear scent of tobacco on his bed sheets – and Yamamoto knew exactly where it came from. The burning desire within him was instantly put out, and all he could feel was a huge, thick lump of horrible guilt sitting heavily in his stomach.

_Gokudera._

The realization of the crime he committed made him want to throw up. Yamamoto stopped the hand pulling at his shirt, weakly mumbling, "Hibari..."

Hibari's dark, sharp eyes looked up at him. The Skylark's cheeks were tinted with a red hue. His lips, damp and kiss-swollen, were parted slightly as he panted for breath. "...yeah?"

"Stop," Yamamoto sat up, closing his eyes. Hibari was too tempting a vision beneath him.

Hibari got up as well, draping his arms around Yamamoto's neck. He pressed soft, warm kisses down Yamamoto's neck and murmured in a low voice, "I don't want to..."

_Oh god..._Yamamoto was torn. But, with a deep breath, he managed to rest two firm hands on Hibari's shoulders and held him back. His voice was gentle, "No. Really, stop."

"Why?" Hibari's dark eyes confronted him. Then, after a pause, he frowned, "You don't want-"

"No, no, it's not like that," Yamamoto quickly pressed a soft kiss to Hibari's lips, whispering, "I want to. Trust me, I do. Just – not now; not here... my dad's downstairs."

_...and I can't do Gokudera anymore wrong. This is already far too cruel._

It took a moment, but Hibari finally nodded and sighed, "Makes sense."

Yamamoto felt relief wash over him. If Hibari was to lure him any further, he really would not know how to stop him without giving anything away. Plus, it was already too hard to resist him as is. The Skylark most certainly knew how to tempt a man.

Hibari blew out a hot sigh, running his fingers through his hair with his eyes closed, "I have to cool down."

"Hm?" Yamamoto raised a brow.

Hibari glanced at Yamamoto for a moment before he crawled closer and whispered into his ear, "I can't be in the same room as you right now without wanting your hands all over me. Do you understand?"

Yamamoto swallowed thickly, feeling his face burn. _Really, what has gotten into him today..._

Hibari smirked, pleased by Yamamoto's reaction. He pecked Yamamoto's lips one last time, "Save it for later."

Then Hibari was gone, just like that, came and gone as quickly as he pleased. Yamamoto was left on the bed, dumbstruck. Then after a moment, he let out a sigh. Hibari shocked him with his spontaneous side and, surprisingly, Yamamoto found that he liked that about the prefect, too. He truly was amazing, that Skylark of his.

-which only made Yamamoto feel guiltier for what he was doing.

Yamamoto turned to the bathroom door, afraid to even approach it. Perhaps he was imagining things, but Yamamoto could have sworn he saw a dark aura emanating from the door frames. There were no sounds, but that made it even more intimidating – because silence often came before a storm.

And as Yamamoto walked carefully towards the door, he held his breath, preparing himself for the worst.

* * *

_Tobacco._

It wasn't distinct before, but as Hibari stepped out of the Yamamoto household, he was certain of it. There was a very faint but definitive taste of tobacco lingering on his tongue. Hibari didn't smoke – he hated the smell of it ever since he was a child – but he knew the flavor well enough. Because even if he didn't want to, Hibari remembered the way Dino's lips and tongue tasted during post-smoke kisses. Of course, Dino only very occasionally smoked, and never in front of Hibari – but the Skylark's senses were so extraordinarily sharp that he could spot every slightest tinge on the tip of his tongue.

And now that he gave it some thought, Hibari realized that there was a clinging scent of cigarette smoke in Yamamoto's room as well.

He frowned. Glancing at Yamamoto's bedroom window, Hibari wondered.

_...since when and how did a guy like him start smoking?_

* * *

Gokudera's knuckles were bleeding. The skin that stretched over the joints was scraped. Blood oozed and trickled out of the fresh wounds. His hands were fisted into balls so tight his fingernails dug themselves painfully into his palm. His teeth were clenched. His body was tense. His eyes were burning.

Gokudera was furious. He was so damn furious and frustrated and angry and jealous and bitter and disappointed and hurt, hurt,_ hurt._ For all of his raging emotions, what struck him the hardest was how broken he felt. The pain was overbearing. Gokudera couldn't remember being caused to feel this way by anyone other than his father; and the worst part was that the overwhelming fury was only there as a cover for the far more agonizing ache in his chest.

BANG.

He punched the wall with his bleeding fist once more, hoping that the physical pain might distract him from the gut-wrenching emotional turmoil. But it didn't work. His heart still hurt as though someone plunged a dagger through its core.

"_Fuck..._" Gokudera muttered through gritted teeth, resting his forehead on the wall and closing his eyes. He felt completely pathetic and weak and stupid – pathetic for feeling the things he did; weak for allowing this to happen to himself; and so, _so_ ridiculously _stupid_ to still be hanging on.

"Gokudera."

The silvernette need not turn around to see who it was, and he did not want to. The last thing he needed right now was to see Yamamoto's face with his kiss-swollen lips from the earlier encounter with Hibari. Neither did Gokudera have any need to see Yamamoto's expression – he already knew what it was. He'd seen it enough times and knew Yamamoto well enough by now: Yamamoto's face would be guilt-ridden, those dark chocolate eyes filled with remorse.

"You're bleeding..." Yamamoto gently touched his wrist.

"_Don't!_" Gokudera jerked away from him in an almost disgusted manner, "Don't you _dare_ touch me right now."

_Don't put those hands on me._

Yamamoto didn't try to touch him, but he still stood close by. "Gokudera, I'm-"

"Shut _up!_" Gokudera yelled, "Shut the fuck up! Don't even say a fucking word!"

"Please, Goku-"

"I told you to shut it!" Gokudera snapped his head around to glare at Yamamoto. Then, when he saw Yamamoto's pained expression, Gokudera lost it.

SLAM.

Gokudera grabbed Yamamoto by the collar and slammed him against the wall. Yamamoto closed his eyes and took in the impact – if it made Gokudera feel better, he was willing to take anything at that moment.

"Go ahead," Yamamoto murmured softly, opening his eyes to look at Gokudera. "Hit me. Do whatever you want."

SLAM.

Gokudera punched him across the face full-force, not holding back one single bit. The silvernette was already shouting at Yamamoto even before he fully regained his composure. "You don't get to do that! You don't fucking get to stand there looking like _that_! You don't even understand half of what I'm going through! Not even _half_!"

_You don't get to look so sad when I'm the one suffering this much._

Yamamoto remained silent. He watched Gokudera go on.

"You knew I was in here. You fucking _knew_! And then when _he_ appeared you just forgot all about me, all about_ us_, and you were all over him. Seriously, what the _fuck_, Yamamoto? I heard everything. Every-_bloody_-thing. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? You're such a stupid, motherfucking idiot. You hear me? You're an idiot! You idiot, you idiot, you _bloody idiot_! You deserve much more than a punch for what you did! You selfish, _selfish_ bastard... how could you – how the _hell_ could you do that to me?" Gokudera's emerald eyes were brimming up with tears, but he hurriedly rubbed them away with the back of his hands. "Fuck it. I am _not_ going to cry..."

Yamamoto tried to pull Gokudera's hands away from violently rubbing his eyes, but Gokudera yanked himself away.

"Bloody tears- won't go away..." Gokudera grumbled, voice muffled by his hands. "I won't cry because of you... you're not _worth_ it, Yamamoto. Why should I even let you do this to me? Why should I be on the sidelines and go through all this just for you? You're not- you shouldn't be worth it..."

Gokudera was trembling. Yamamoto could not stand watching any longer. Instinctively, Yamamoto pulled Gokudera into his arms – and even when Gokudera tried to pull away, he didn't let go. More tears poured out of the silvernette's eyes. In his emotionally unstable state, Gokudera couldn't render enough energy to push Yamamoto off him.

"Let _go!_ You mother_fucking_ _asshole!_ Let me go!" Gokudera struggled in Yamamoto's firm hold.

Yamamoto did not budge. He tried to calm Gokudera down with his gentle voice, sifting his fingers through Gokudera's hair. "I'm sorry..."

"_No_! This is _not_ fair. You don't get to do this..." Gokudera visibly weakened, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You don't get to make me _become_ like this..."

"I know," Yamamoto murmured softly, "I know. I'm so sorry..."

Gokudera hid his face away from him. His voice was quiet, "Let go of me. Just... let go."

"I'm sorry, Gokudera," Yamamoto whispered in his ears, "I'm so, so sorry..."

_I'm sorry for doing this to you. I know I should let you go... but I can't, Gokudera. Even the thought of it is too much for me to take. _Yamamoto hugged Gokudera closer, burying his face into Gokudera's hair, feeling his own eyes grow wet. _I'm sorry for being so selfish, and I wish I knew how to make things better for everyone, but I just... I just _can't. _I don't know how to make it work, how to make it _right.

Gokudera cried harder and hated himself for doing so. He shouldn't give in so easily. He shouldn't even let this continue on for a second longer. What Gokudera should do was shove Yamamoto off and never even glance back at the person who treated him in such a terrible way.

But just because he 'should' didn't mean he 'could'. Just as Yamamoto couldn't let him go, Gokudera was simply incapable of leaving Yamamoto – especially not when Yamamoto was embracing him this way, murmuring hundreds of genuine apologies into his ears.

"Damn you, Yamamoto..." Gokudera muttered through tears, "_Damn. You._"

_Damn you for being there when I needed you. Damn you for that smile and that warmth of yours. Damn your hugs and kisses that I can't resist – and damn you for fucking sharing them with someone else. Damn all of the heartwarming things you say to me. Damn the comfort you give me. Damn it all. Damn you for coming into my life..._

_...and damn, _damn_ you for making me love you._

"You can't keep on doing this. _We_ can't keep on doing this," Gokudera shook his head, "I can't take it."

_If it's going to end, better to end it quickly before I fall even deeper for you._

Yamamoto nodded solemnly, "I know."

"I can't give you a month," Gokudera gripped his shirt. _I can hardly stand a day._

Yamamoto lifted one of Gokudera's hands and pressed a kiss on the back of it. He noticed the bleeding knuckles and felt guilt physically trapped in his throat.

"This...'situation' must end – quickly. At most, in a week," Gokudera's voice got quieter, "No matter whom you decide to end it with."

"Gokudera..." Yamamoto felt choked.

Gokudera's eyes were looking right into Yamamoto's own. Those emerald pools looked so sad and broken in that moment, it left Yamamoto speechless. He didn't know what he could do or say to make it better. The sorrow in those eyes couldn't be healed by the current him. The current Yamamoto, who still shared his heart for someone else, did not have the ability to fix Gokudera – nor was he in the position to do anything of the sort.

But looking into those teary eyes, Yamamoto knew one thing, well and clear.

Yamamoto had always wanted Gokudera's pain and grief to disappear, but only now did he realize he wanted to be the one to make it happen, and not anybody else.

For in his mind – even though unconsciously so – Gokudera already belonged to him.

* * *

**Lancia's House, AKA Dynamite's HQ, 7.01am**

"Hey, you sure you want to go to school today?" Spanner caught Gokudera's arm just as the silvernette was about to head out.

Gokudera looked at him, "Yeah, why?"

"You don't... look so good," Spanner didn't know how to phrase it, "Like you've run out of gas – or battery. Like a machine running on reserve. Or maybe some kind of a tank that's leaking out all of its-"

"Spanner," Gokudera interrupted him, "Shut up. You talking is making my brain hurt."

"No, seriously man, you look bad. There's no color on you," Spanner was concerned. Gokudera really did look out of sorts. His eyes were puffy with dark circles beneath them, and his lips were dry and pale. "You look sick – and I mean in a bad way."

"Well, I _feel_ sick," Gokudera muttered, feeling his head pound.

"Then why are you still going? Go back to bed," Spanner frowned.

Gokudera, noticing the worried frown, pushed the blonde's head away, "Oi. Save it for the redhead – he's the one you should be taking care of, not me. I'm not your bloody boyfriend."

"Shouichi's still sleeping," Spanner shrugged, sucking on his lollipop absentmindedly.

Despite his headache, Gokudera managed a smirk. "Had a rough night? Man, you guys were up until _dawn_. I didn't even think Mr. Four-eyes had the stamina to do that."

Spanner gave him a look.

Gokudera leaned in and whispered in a low voice, "...didn't take him for a _screamer_, either."

"Jerk," Spanner rolled his eyes, pushing the laughing Gokudera through the door. "Get going. Obviously you still have more than enough energy."

"Aw, Spanner, there's no need to be shy," Gokudera chuckled, clearly enjoying the ability to put his dear friend on a spot.

Unfortunately, Spanner had a liking to the very same ability. That became very clear when the mechanic's lips curved into a little grin as he mumbled, "I bet that baseball jock of yours could make you scream, too."

Gokudera glared at him. "Oi, low blow."

"What was his name again? Takashi? Ah, I know, Yamamoto Takeshi."

"Shut it, Spanner."

The blonde shrugged, "True though, isn't it?"

"I'm leaving," Gokudera pushed past him.

"Aw, now who's being shy?" Spanner poked his friend's – obviously pale – cheek.

Gokudera didn't bother to reply. His head throbbed, his muscles felts worn out, his hands and feet were sweaty, and frankly, he wasn't in the mindset to deal with Spanner or anyone this morning. The silvernette felt sick, on several levels, and he was pretty sure he had a rather serious fever. He threw up once last night when he was crying – and then again in the morning, because he thought it would make him feel better. But in reality it only worsened his already-unbearable headache.

But he had to go to school. Even if he didn't want to see Yamamoto's face, he couldn't risk being away and leaving Yamamoto alone with Hibari. There was no time to be wasted. He couldn't afford to let Yamamoto and Hibari bond any further.

Nobody ever had this sort of impact on Gokudera, and nobody ever brought out so much determination in him.

It made Gokudera more certain that he couldn't let Yamamoto go – because, honestly, he did not know what losing Yamamoto would do to him.

* * *

**Namimori High School, 7.18am**

Yamamoto sat across the prefect's office, watching Hibari from the sofa. The Skylark was in his usual seat, arms crossed with eyes closed shut and sleeping soundlessly, his pet bird – 'Hibird' – resting on his lap.

_So beautiful._

Yamamoto had always found Hibari undeniably attractive. His milky smooth complexion contrasted somewhat perfectly with his dark hair and intense eyes; and his body, although petite, was well-toned from his physical exertion in fights and training. And yet, despite all those fights, Yamamoto had never seen a single scar on Hibari's body from what had been exposed to him so far.

That contrasted with Gokudera. The silvernette had so many scars, stitches and bruises on his body that one could say they were part of him. Not that it made Gokudera any less attractive. In fact, the scars on his body only made him even more exotic.

Exotic. That was the word for it. Whereas Hibari was the epitome of traditional ideal Japanese beauty, Gokudera's beauty was unexpected and almost 'alien'. Apart from the fact that the two both had petite forms, physically they had nothing in common.

Well, perhaps there were the pink-tinted lips; the long eyelashes; the way those eyes deepened in the same way when Yamamoto looked into them; that similar tiny glint in those eyes that hinted at their hidden sorrow...

_How could I possibly bring myself to hurt one of them? _Yamamoto felt torn.

The look on Gokudera's face yesterday was still imprinted in his mind – it haunted him even in his sleep. He would hate to see the same look on Hibari's face as well.

But all the same, he couldn't stand it anymore. The guilt was too much – and he respected Hibari too much.

_I have to do this._

"...Yamamoto?" Hibari had woken up. His eyes blinked sleepily before he stretched and yawned like a cat.

"Morning, Hibari," Yamamoto murmured, smiling warmly at his lover.

"Come closer," Hibari commanded softly, his eyes still drowsy with sleep.

Yamamoto's smile grew a little wider, and he walked towards the chair Hibari sat in.

_I will do this._

The minute Yamamoto got close enough, Hibari reached out and grabbed Yamamoto's necktie. Then, he pulled Yamamoto down towards him in one sharp tug, close enough that their lips _just_ barely touched.

Yamamoto blinked in pleasant surprise.

Hibari closed his eyes and chuckled.

Yamamoto's heart throbbed. _Just when he finally became this affectionate as well..._

Hibari reopened his eyes, and once they met Yamamoto's, a spark ran between them. The memory of their recent steamy encounter was still fresh in their minds, and so was the chemistry bubbling between them.

_Just one. Just one more._

"Hibari," Yamamoto whispered his name as he intertwined his fingers with him.

"Hn?" Hibari did not avoid his gaze. Yamamoto adored that.

With a smile, Yamamoto kissed him – long and gentle, allowing the kiss the melt naturally into their meshing lips. Yamamoto's other hand came up to caress Hibari's cheek, his fingertips just toying lovingly with the roots of his hair.

Hibari sighed into the kiss, draping his unbound arm around Yamamoto's neck. It was just so natural being with Yamamoto. Hibari felt as though he could truly relax and be comfortable in his own skin whenever he's around him.

They paused to take a breath, and Yamamoto moved to kiss Hibari's soft cheeks instead. He smelled like the first bloom of cherry blossoms, and Yamamoto could not hold in his smile.

Hibari looked at him curiously, "Why are you smiling like that?"

"I'm happy," Yamamoto answered simply, moving down to nuzzle Hibari's neck.

"You always are," Hibari noted.

Yamamoto pulled back to look Hibari in the eyes, "Even more so with you."

_That is why I so cherish this moment._

"Hn," Hibari rested his head on Yamamoto's chest, taking in his warmth.

Yamamoto held him closer, smiled down at him, a tiny sad tinge in his eyes. He inhaled deeply before he spoke, "Hibari."

"Hn?"

"Can you meet me at the rooftop this lunchtime?"

"Yes." Hibari nodded and then looked up at him. "Why?"

_I have to do this._

"...I have to tell you something."

_I have to tell you about Gokudera._

* * *

**Namimori High School, 7.29am**

Outside of the prefect's office, a man was looking through the window – through the smallest hidden slit in the curtains inside. It was a slit he found, three years prior, and it was the same slit he always had used for two years, whilst he was here as a medical gap student, to look at the very same prefect. Watching the Skylark always brought a smile to his face.

But never once did he expect to see something that would break his heart the way it just did.

Dino Cavallone had thought that Hibari was lying when he told him that he already found someone new. Or if it was true, Dino was certain that at least what Hibari shared with that 'someone' would not at all be able to compete with what he and Hibari had shared in the past. He thought that, surely, Hibari only had someone new to fill up the hole he left – that once Dino came back, Hibari would definitely choose him over the 'new guy'.

But now Dino realized that he had been too full of himself. It became clear as day when he saw the way Hibari looked at Yamamoto, the way Hibari relaxed into his kiss. There was nothing at all 'fake' between them – just as how there never had been anything 'fake' between Dino and the Skylark.

The blonde clenched his fists and walked away.

He wasn't going to give up. Hibari was _his_ Skylark, and Dino wouldn't – _couldn't_ – have it any other way.

* * *

**Namimori High School, 12.21pm**

Ridiculous. Everything was so ridiculous at this point.

By lunchtime, Gokudera was on the verge of collapsing. His skin was on fire, his throat was raked, and his vision was constantly clouded with black spots – and truthfully, he didn't see the point of it all. Now that he was suffering the full dose of his illness, it occurred to Gokudera how dumb it was of him to come to school. He came because he didn't want Yamamoto to spend more time with Hibari, but since Gokudera was still avoiding Yamamoto him being here didn't really have any effect in that matter.

"Ugh, this _sucks_," Gokudera groaned under his breath, staggering towards a wall he could lean on. He was feeling nauseous again. He could taste acid in his mouth and the smell of vomit was up his throat. It was disgusting – Gokudera _felt_ disgusting.

He leaned his head against his hand on the wall, feeling the heat of his forehead. It was burning. "Damn."

Then, right on cue, came the voice he had been avoiding all day, "...Gokudera?"

It was Yamamoto.

_Damn._

"Gokudera, what's wrong?" Yamamoto grabbed his shoulder, his face written with terrible concern. His pressed his backhand on Gokudera's neck. "Whoa, you have a really high fever."

Gokudera attempted to pull away, "Leave me alone."

"No," Yamamoto immediately shook his head, turning Gokudera around so that he could further inspect him. He cupped his lover's cheek and ran his thumb over Gokudera's dry, colorless lips, frowning in concern. "You're not well."

_Huh, no shit, genius. _Gokudera wanted to scoff, but found that he didn't have the energy to do so. It was difficult enough to barely stand upright. But he wasn't going to let Yamamoto know. The last thing he wanted was pity from this man. Not to mention, he was still more than a little pissed off at him. "Fuck off, Yamamoto. I don't want to see your face."

The sentence was meant to come out as a low growl, but due to Gokudera's terrible form, he only managed to utter it in a whimper.

_Tch. Pathetic. _Gokudera cursed himself under his breath.

Of course, Yamamoto didn't budge one bit. In fact, the baseball player was even holding onto him more securely than before. "Look, you have every right to be mad at me..."

_Damn right, idiot. _Gokudera tried to glare. It turned out to be more of a dazed expression as his eyes once again became clouded over.

Yamamoto continued in a soft voice, "But please, don't do this. Let me help. It kills me to see you like this."

_Well whose goddamn fault is it that I'm like this? _Gokudera thought as he swung his arms weakly at Yamamoto in an attempt to swat at him. His eyes were now almost blinded by the growing dark spots that crawled all over his vision.

Bile was building up in Gokudera's throat once again, forcing its way up and outwards. _Oh, ugh. Ew. Fuck. _

"Gokudera, can you hear me?"

Yamamoto was saying something to him, but he sounded so far away, like a soft echo in the back of his mind. Gokudera's fingertips were numb now, and they felt cold – and quite dead, to be honest. His head seemed to be weighing in all sorts of direction, and Gokudera felt the most bizarre horrible sensation of his brain twirling in his own skull.

"Gokudera? Gokudera...!"

And before he knew it, Gokudera collapsed completely into Yamamoto's arm.

* * *

**Namimori High School, 12.22pm**

"Squalo?"

Dino didn't really expect Shamal to be in the school's nurse office – from his past experience in Nami High's medical unit, he learnt that the male doctor was rarely ever present in the department at all. Apart from when, of course, some of the cuter female students with noticeably larger cup sizes entered the room.

But one person Dino did not at all expect to find in the sick room was Superbi Squalo – his childhood neighbor whose parents were well-acquainted with his own. The two even went to the same elementary school at one point in Italy, and they became rather tight – akin to family. The silvernette was also one of the very few people who knew about Dino's true identity ever since long ago.

Squalo, who had just walked out through the curtains of one of the sick bed areas, frowned at the familiar voice. And when his icy blue eyes finally set on the blonde, they widened and sparkled in gleeful recognition.

"Voi, bucking horse!" Squalo grinned, giving Dino a firm hug, instantly falling into the old nickname he used to call him.

Dino ruffled the younger's spiky silver hair playfully, "Long time no see, you crazy shark."

"Didn't know you were back in Japan," Squalo said, "Everything okay with the old Cavallone famiglia back in Italy?"

"Yeah, finally settled," Dino nodded.

"That mess sure took its damn sweet time, I say. You came back way too late," Squalo shook his head. Then, as an afterthought, he narrowed his eyes at Dino, "You _do_ know of your little prefect's new boy toy, don't you?"

Dino suppressed the urge to hit something when that comment reminded him of his too-recent exposure to Hibari's kiss with his so-called new 'boy toy'. Grudgingly, Dino nodded.

"Figured you won't be too happy about that," Squalo nodded, "Although, must say, your ex didn't just take a random pick. Yamamoto Takeshi has one of the best senses in this school, good sharp instincts – and he has a touch of your essence. I wouldn't blame that prefect too much."

_Yamamoto Takeshi. Huh. _Dino clenched his fists. He really did not at all enjoy hearing praise for someone who he deemed to be his enemy. The more he gathered how wonderful Yamamoto was, the more he realized how difficult he would find it to bring Hibari back into his arms.

Squalo went on, "He's the ace of the baseball team – always had been. And he has this stupidly cheerful persona. You know, one of those happy-go-lucky kinds of guys who you find it really hard not to smile around? Really popular, really warm, blah-blah-blah..."

Dino never thought of himself as someone with any sort of nefarious character – but at that moment, he might've been considering several ways of clearing away this oh-so-perfect prince charming that was Yamamoto Takeshi away from the face of earth. Mafia tendencies ran in the bloodline after all, it seemed.

"But then again, I did hear something nasty about him," Squalo continued.

Dino's ears perked, "Hm?"

Squalo shrugged, "I'm not too sure how accurate this is, judging from the source being that insane prince, but Bel told me that Yamamoto might be two-timing your prefect with a member of Dynamite – you know, the gang against Varia."

"He's two-timing Kyouya?" This angered Dino. In fact, it made him furious. This random-ass high-school kid dared to steal his Skylark away, and as if that wasn't enough, he had the nerve to _cheat_ on him? Unacceptable. Completely unacceptable. Dino could probably bitterly tolerate the fact that Hibari was happy with Yamamoto, but to know that Yamamoto had someone else behind Hibari's back?

_No._ There was no way Dino would allow that to go on. Not with his Kyouya. If Dino were to let the Skylark go at all, at least the man who took him must be decent – no, the man must be no less than _perfect_. Otherwise, there would be no way Dino would let him go. Absolutely no way in hell.

And who the bloody hell did the kid think he was to dare do this to _his_ Kyouya? Dino fought the urge to punch something – preferably Yamamoto Takeshi's face – real hard. True that Dino wasn't at all a violent person at the core, but cheating on his precious Skylark was seemingly a rather good enough reason to bash Yamamoto's face in.

_If he makes Kyouya feel one ounce of pain I swear I'll-_

Squalo patted Dino's shoulders – which were almost shaking with fury, "Voi, like I said, the source isn't all that trustworthy. The bloody prince might've come up with the entire thing for all I know."

Nonetheless, Dino was fixated on the idea. "Do you know the name of the other one he's seeing? Yamamoto Takeshi's other person, that is."

Before Squalo could reply, a loud grunt sounded from the sick-bed area Squalo initially came from.

"Oi, trash. Who the hell are you squabbling off to?" Xanxus, who was topless, came through the curtains and draped his bare arm possessively around Squalo's neck.

Dino recognized him, "...Xanxus. Head of Varia. I remember you from when I had my gap year here."

Xanxus momentarily narrowed his eyes at Dino, and then at Squalo, then back at Dino again. Slowly, it dawned on him as he took in Dino's handsome Italian features. "Oh. It's you. The trash mentioned you one too bloody many times."

At which point Xanxus seemed to feel the need to declare his relationship with the silvernette – and thus, pressed a harsh kiss on Squalo's cheek. Squalo quickly elbowed him, turning his face away, embarrassed – which consequently allowed Dino to finally notice the deep red blotches peppered on Squalo's pale neck.

_Ah. So that's how it is between them nowadays. _The newly-discovered information on Xanxus and Squalo's updated relationship temporarily lifted Dino's attention from the whole Yamamoto-cheating-on-Hibari affair, slightly easing his temper.

Which was most likely fortunate, for Yamamoto himself came running through the doors right at that moment. In his arms he carried the petite form of a pale-skinned male, who looked too blanched to be healthy, and too floppy not to be of concern.

Yamamoto's face was one of great worry and panic. He was sweating and panting, clearly having sprinted all the way here. His words tumbled all over one another as he tried to explain, "He's- He's very sick – very high fever. He just – collapsed just now. Please, where is the nurse?"

Despite the fact that Dino still wanted to injure Yamamoto with one extremely hard blow, his medical training and good morals did not allow him to ignore a sick person clearly in need of treatment. Dino sucked in a deep breath to set his priorities straight, before he spoke.

"Shamal isn't here, but I'm trained enough to take his place for the time being. If you will, set him down on the bed and I will take a look at him."

Yamamoto nodded gratefully, breathing a sigh of relief now that Gokudera was in capable hands, "Thank you."

* * *

"I called Gokudera-kun's father, someone should be here to pick him up in an hour," Dino informed Yamamoto, who had been sitting there clutching his forehead throughout the entire time Dino was checking up on Gokudera.

Yamamoto looked up, eyes still drowned with concern, "And he'll be okay?"

Dino nodded, "I gave him the medication he needed – now he just needs a good rest and he'll be better in no time."

"Are you sure?" Yamamoto glanced over at the bed Gokudera was sleeping in. He couldn't see the silvernette's face since the bed area was hidden away by curtains, but Yamamoto could see Gokudera's body tucked securely beneath the blankets. Quietly, Yamamoto explained, "Gokudera's quite a heavy smoker – and he drinks and fights too often as well. It got me concerned..."

"Don't worry. I'm sure his body is just vulnerable from either stress or lack of rest. He'll be up and healthy in a few days at most," Dino confirmed, taking a seat behind the nurse's desk whilst silently observing Yamamoto.

Indeed, this boy looked exactly like what Squalo described him to be. Yamamoto had a brilliant physical form, indicating that he's an athlete, with clear solid eyes that were only present in people who were truly good-hearted and honest. The air around him was warm and tranquilizing in a way that let other people surrounding him feel comforted. Dino could tell that this boy was obviously well-raised by his family - Yamamoto wasn't the type of man who would intentionally ever hurt anyone.

It was utterly understandable why Hibari had fallen for him. Dino could see it, how it all happened, as clear as day. Even though it hurt to admit it, Dino knew Yamamoto had equal chances of winning Hibari over were they to fight for him.

But what Dino couldn't understand was that little piece of information Squalo gave him. How could someone so clearly as good-natured as Yamamoto be two-timing?

"Yama... Yamamoto..." Gokudera's weak voice mumbled from the bed in his sleep.

Yamamoto immediately stood up and paced over to the bed in urgent speed – almost in a manner of a pet dog who heard his master's call. He sat down beside the silvernette and carefully took his pale hand into his own, "I'm right here."

_Hm? _Dino raised an eyebrow at the intimacy. _Could it be...?_

And as though to affirm Dino's suspicions, Yamamoto pressed a gentle kiss on the back of Gokudera's hand, and then another on Gokudera's forehead, Yamamoto softly brushing strands of silver hair away from Gokudera's face.

If that wasn't enough of a confirmation, Dino didn't know what would be.

_So the kid is two-timing after all..._

But instead of feeling angered, this time, Dino felt hopeful. Surely, it would sway Hibari to know that his current lover was having an affair – and that would give Dino a bigger chance than anything.

Yes, it wasn't fair-game. But at this point, Dino could care less about playing fair. He had been away from Hibari for too long, had allowed Hibari too far out of his sight, and he missed his Skylark too much to stand idly away any longer.

And so, Dino quietly exited the sickroom, before heading towards the only place he knew he would always be able to find his Skylark at this time.

* * *

"You're late," Hibari said, the moment he heard the rooftop door click open. The prefect didn't even turn back to see who it was, because there was only one person he was expecting. Yamamoto said he wanted to speak to him, so Hibari specifically told Kusakabe to give them privacy on the rooftop. It could've been no one else but Yamamoto.

But it wasn't.

"I know," Dino murmured, closing the door behind him. "I'm one year late."

Hibari immediately turned at the familiar sound of his voice. Those dark eyes were sharp as they glared at him, "Why are you here?"

"To see you," Dino replied as though it was the most obvious and natural thing.

"Tch," Hibari started moving towards the door, "Out of my way."

Dino remained there, blocking his path, "So that you could run away again?"

"I never-" Hibari started, before he closed his lips shut when he recalled how he left Dino the last time. "You left me no choice."

"You can't stand me that badly?" Dino inquired – and although the man was smiling, Hibari could see a tinge of sorrow in his eyes.

"Yes," Hibari lied, shutting off any sympathy he might have for him.

"You're lying," Dino stated. "Did you think I wouldn't be able to tell? After all those years?"

Hibari remained silent, figuring out what he should do. He didn't want to run away like a coward, but he didn't want to face Dino either. The man made him unstable – weakened his resolve like no other – and Hibari hated feeling vulnerable. But if he escaped, he would be portraying his weakness – and that was something Hibari could not afford to do again.

"Fine," Hibari turned his back and walked off back to the sides of the rooftop, "Say what you have to say, then leave."

But instead of speaking, Dino was silent. In fact, he was so silent for so long that Hibari wondered whether he was still there at all. And strangely, that sent Hibari into a minor panic. The thought that Dino might disappear and vanish away without leave again scared him so badly that Hibari had to snap his head around to take a look. But just as Hibari turned around to check for Dino's presence, he found himself crashing into the man who stood less than mere centimeters away from him.

"What-" Hibari managed a single word before his lips were sealed by Dino's.

Hibari gasped at the suddenness of it, which only allowed Dino to slip his tongue into Hibari's mouth. Their tongues met and the Skylark trembled despite himself. There was something about the way that warm, slick muscle moved that rendered him powerless – every single time.

Dino loved the way Hibari's body shivered within his arms – the way he took little gasps of breath as though he couldn't contain himself. To be honest, Dino didn't intend to kiss him. Well, no, that wasn't entirely correct – Dino had all intentions to kiss the life out of Hibari, but just not in that precise moment. Dino was only planning to embrace his Skylark from behind as he liked to do, but when Hibari suddenly turned around and faced him, he lost control.

Perhaps it was the jealousy from witnessing Hibari's lips being claimed by another just recently today. Perhaps it was the location they were in – that very same area they once used to share countless kisses. Perhaps it was a rare moment that Hibari was unguarded, so he took the chance.

Or perhaps it was the sweet scent of Hibari that touched Dino's nose – that faint allure of cherry blossoms that was never overpowering but unforgettable all the same; the way those cheeks were flushed by the chill; the way those lips were parted just ever so slightly in that forever inviting way...

Dino didn't know. All he knew was that the moment Hibari turned around, he had to kiss him. He didn't care whether he'll get hit or miss his chance to tell Hibari about Yamamoto – he just _had_ to kiss him right then and there. It was one of those untenable, irrational, unexplainable needs.

But when Dino paused to take breath and those dark eyes of the Skylark fluttered open with its dazed look, Dino knew. He knew why he was all of a sudden so desperate to kiss Hibari.

It wasn't about jealousy. It wasn't about possession. It wasn't even about his impossible longing for him.

It was about Hibari's eyes.

Because when Hibari had turned around to face Dino, those eyes were _searching_ for him. And all of a sudden it struck him that Hibari must've looked for him with those very same lost, searching eyes in the past year that he had been completely absent. The look in Hibari's eyes crushed his heart – they were so hopeless, as though they weren't expecting to find him there – and that it would be something Hibari was used to. It crushed Dino because it occurred to him in that moment precisely how torturing it must've been for Hibari, and in his head he kept seeing Hibari looking for him here and there time and time again, every time ending up being disappointed – those eyes shadowing loss.

It made Dino want to hold Hibari close – no, not just that – he wanted to hold him so tight that every inch of their bodies would be pressed against each other. It made Dino want to kiss him so deeply that his very existence would be embedded into his soul. And it was all just to make Hibari know, and to make him _believe_, that Dino was here _now_ – he was right here in front of him – and he would not go anywhere. He wouldn't ever leave him again.

Dino kissed Hibari so passionately that the Skylark's back was bent, his body arched up against Dino's – knees buckling in, muscles losing all control in Dino's arms. Trembling arms found their way around Dino, one around his back and one around his neck, as Hibari inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of perfume he knew and missed more than he would admit to himself.

"Stop," Hibari breathed, "Stop..."

"I can't," Dino murmured against his lips, kissing the corners, "I miss you..."

And Hibari's heart wavered because just now Dino sounded like he was about to cry.

Hibari shook his head weakly, closing his eyes. _Don't say that. Don't say it like that._

"Kyouya..." the sound of Dino's voice calling his name alone made his heart tremor.

"Stop," the Skylark repeated once more, "I- I..."

Hibari struggled to find an excuse. The truth to why he wanted Dino to stop was that he felt uncomfortable – by the way his heart was jumping out of his chest; and by the way he was complying to Dino so easily. But of course there was no way Hibari would tell him that. So instead, he searched for a sound reason...

"Yamamoto," Hibari finally said – and sure enough, that stopped Dino right in his tracks.

Dino looked at him, slow and fierce, his voice a low growl in his throat, "Tell me you didn't mistake my name for some other guy just now..."

"I didn't," Hibari paused to see how his answer immediately soothed Dino's temper before he continued, "Yamamoto is coming up here."

"And?" Dino possessively pulled Hibari closer to him at the mentioning of another man's name.

"You have to leave," Hibari pushed him away before taking a few steps so that he was out of Dino's arms.

Dino sighed, running his hand through his hair to cool down, "He's not coming, you know."

Hibari didn't turn around. Sure, Yamamoto was incredibly late – and the guy was never late – but that didn't mean he wasn't going to turn up. It wasn't like Yamamoto to not turn up without telling him beforehand. "How would you know?"

"I saw him just now," Dino shrugged, "In the infirmary."

Hibari did turn around sharply at this point, "Is he hurt? Sick?"

Dino was more than a little annoyed at the fact that Hibari obviously cared for the kid. "No. He's in perfectly good health, I assure you."

"Good," Hibari nodded, "So why was he there?"

"His friend's sick, so he's watching him."

"Hn," That sounded like what Yamamoto would do. But then, Hibari got curious, "How do you know Yamamoto? You left before he came to Nami High."

"You're dating him. Isn't that enough reason to find him out?" Dino walked up closer to Hibari.

"Hn," Hibari, with lack of anything to say, turned away.

"Do you know Yamamoto's friend by the way? The sick one," Dino inquired.

"Which one? Sawada Tsunayoshi?" Hibari asked in an uninterested way.

"The one with silver hair."

"Oh. Gokudera Hayato. Belongs to Dynamite," Hibari nodded, thinking about the rebel silvernette. He remembered vaguely that Yamamoto had once been absent to take care of Gokudera when Gokudera was sick before, too. "They're pretty close."

Dino nodded slowly, "_Very_ close, from what I've seen."

If Hibari was anyone else, he would've missed the tiny emphasis Dino slipped into that sentence just now. But because the Skylark knew him so well, there was no way he couldn't tell that Dino had accentuated that word for a reason.

Hibari turned towards him once again, "What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing," Dino looked away.

"_Don't_," Hibari narrowed his eyes, grabbing Dino's shirt. "Don't dismiss me. Don't treat me like a child. I know you meant to tell me something."

Dino remained silent as he watched Hibari. Not until now did he realize that his Kyouya really did mature quite a lot in the past year – of course, Dino knew he grew a little taller, his form a little more manly than before. But now he could see clearly that those dark eyes of Kyouya were deeper, with much more certainty of whom he was and what he wanted. It added to the Skylark's allure and gave him a greater air of attraction that Dino could not deny was incredibly tempting.

"_Dino_," Hibari called his name to get his attention back to their conversation.

_How I love the sound of his voice calling my name. _Dino thought to himself, before he finally replied, "Just – be aware of how close those two are. Yamamoto and his friend, that is." Dino lifted his hand to trace Hibari's chin, "I don't want you getting hurt."

"You already took care of that a year ago," Hibari bit off, pushing his hand away.

_Ouch. _Dino rolled in his lips, taking in the blow.

"Tch," Hibari turned, making his way towards the door.

"Look," Dino tried again, "I'm just warning you. Even if it wouldn't change things between you and I... Kyouya, I still want you to be happy. You know that."

Hibari didn't reply. Instead, he just exited through the door and left Dino there standing alone as the newfound information settled in him.

_Yamamoto and Gokudera Hayato, huh._ It didn't take a genius to figure out what Dino implied was going on between their relationship, but Hibari immediately dismissed the idea. It was impossible. Yamamoto was too goodhearted, too warm, and just too _nice_ to commit that sort of injury. The words 'cheat' and 'Yamamoto Takeshi' just did not belong within the same sentence.

No. Of course it was impossible.

_...or was it?_

Hibari hated to admit it but he knew Dino was, at his core, almost just as equally honest as Yamamoto. Dino was one of the most just and ingenuous person Hibari knew. He would never make up something so terrible without some substantial evidence.

And Hibari knew for a fact that Yamamoto and Gokudera were close. But even so, that wasn't enough to prove anything.

_Substantial evidence, huh..._

Then, all of a sudden, Hibari remembered.

_Tobacco._

That tinge of tobacco he tasted on his tongue when he last kissed Yamamoto in his bedroom – the room that had a definitive clinging smell of cigarettes. Even more so than being certain that Yamamoto wouldn't cheat, Hibari just knew Yamamoto wasn't a smoker – at least not at this age. He was too much of an athlete and too well aware of his health to waste away his physique by smoking.

But Hibari knew someone very close to Yamamoto who did smoke – in fact, that person was such a heavy smoker that the taste would linger in his mouth – and could possibly be passed on to another person's mouth were they to share a deep kiss.

Gokudera Hayato.

And Yamamoto Takeshi – the warm, loving, and forever-smiling Yamamoto Takeshi.

It couldn't be possible. It shouldn't be possible.

But it was.

Somehow, Hibari knew it in his gut that it was true. Everything made sense now – it all clicked together; the smell of cigarettes on Yamamoto; the suspiciously guilty look that occasionally flashed on Yamamoto's face...

What Dino had implied was true – and Hibari couldn't believe it even as it dawned on him.

_Yamamoto is cheating on me._

* * *

**A/N:** Holy. Hell. It has been what... FOUR FRIGGIN' _MONTHS_?

Okay, first of all I don't even know how to _begin_ to apologize for my ridiculously long period of AWOL. And to leave you guys on a _cliffhanger _at that! I know I've been a terrible writer and I'm incredibly, truly, so very, _very_ sorry for the super delayed update. It's just that my life had been so caught up in exams and productions and coursework that I honestly had no time left for myself – and I'm not sure whether it'll get any better with the time-management after this update either, since another HUGE set of A-levels are coming again in may/june. So if you guys are still here and reading/reviewing this fanfic, THANK YOU. You do not know how grateful I am to have your support – I made this chapter extra long just for you people.

So, again, I'm sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long! – and I apologize in advance for any future delays... which I unfortunately know would occur D: Although I'll try my best!

As always, I love and appreciate you all for reading and reviewing! :D x


	19. Pain and Pleasure

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, explicit sex scene, rape.

With excessive love to my precious beta **AmbiguousThoughts **;)

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

**Nami High's Infirmary, 4.00pm**

"Yamamoto Takeshi."

The voice was cold – so cold it could have been absolute zero.

Yamamoto immediately dropped Gokudera's hand and turned around with eyes wide. Before him stood Hibari Kyouya, those sharp eyes even darker than usual, lips tightened in a firm straight line; a seething fury beneath the calm composure of that petite form.

"Come with me."

It was an order from a lord – no arguments, no negotiation.

And as he followed Hibari out of the room and left behind the sick Gokudera on the bed, for the very first time, Yamamoto understood what it felt like to feel a fear that chilled him to his bones.

* * *

**Nami High's Infirmary, 4.02pm**

"Good afternoon, miss." The man greeted the nurse with a slow smile that seemed to crawl over his face like a centipede.

"Ah, good afternoon, sir. May I help you?" The elderly nurse raised an eyebrow at the man's clothes. He was wearing torn jeans which was barely hanging on to his buttocks, showing off his cheap boxers, with a shirt that had the word 'BLOWJOB' screened on in large bright letters.

"Oh, yes, I'm here to pick up Gokudera Hayato-kun. His father gave his permission – here's his signature," The man grinned as he waved a scruffy slip of paper towards the nurse.

The nurse examined the paper carefully and compared the signature to the school's database. Undoubtedly, the signature – though a little shaky – belonged to Gokudera Chisato.

"May I ask why Gokudera-kun's father is not here in person?" the nurse inquired.

"Hayato-kun's father preoccupied by certain... matters," the man shrugged easily.

"Alright then," she said, finally, "Let me help him to your car."

"Oh, don't bother, missy. I've got this," the man waved his hand dismissively as he strode over to Gokudera's sleeping form and picked him up. He smirked down at the younger boy in his arms. "I'll be taking Hayato-kun now. That's cool with you, nurse?"

"Yes, yes, he should be home as soon as possible, of course," the nurse nodded, "May I take your name for reference, sir?"

The man smiled a lazy, sly smile. "You can call me Takumi."

* * *

They were in a hotel room. Kusakabe drove them there – the drive as silent as death itself. Yamamoto was certain that the particular location was chosen was because Hibari did not want to damage school property – as there was definitely going to be some violence in this confrontation. Yamamoto knew this well and clear – he had seen Hibari fight before. The Skylark was akin to wildfire when he was angry.

Hibari Kyouya's anger this time, however, wasn't fire. The Skylark's emotions weren't volatile, weren't boiling with the inevitable threat of eruption. Hibari's anger wasn't expressed through a yelling rage or a mad turmoil. Not this time.

Hibari Kyouya's anger was like dry ice – terrifyingly cold and oozing out an air of danger. Also, Hibari was impossibly still and silent. It didn't even seem like he was breathing at all. But Yamamoto knew better than most that a snake was always quiet and unmoving in its poise before it struck its prey.

"Why did you do it?" There it was – the fangs slowly appearing, ready for the kill. Hibari have said the words with such smoothness that it could've been nothing else.

Yamamoto didn't need Hibari to say much – or anything at all – to know that he had been caught. One look into those eagle-like eyes and he knew that Hibari had found out about everything. It didn't even matter anymore how the Skylark came to the truth. At the end of the day, what could Yamamoto have expected? He knew that Hibari was sharper than a blade – one glance at him with Gokudera and, without doubt, Hibari would have known.

And sure enough, Hibari got that glance – probably much more than a glance, judging by the way Hibari was glaring at Yamamoto with no uncertainty within those dark orbs.

Yamamoto inhaled, swallowing the gigantic lump of guilt down his throat. "I'm sorry-"

SLAM.

That was the first blow. Hibari went all out, the tonfa hitting Yamamoto's face with a precision that aimed to hit where it hurt most. Yamamoto took the hit without flinching.

"Why?" Hibari repeated, his voice pressed low.

Yamamoto didn't know how to reply. He could say that he loved them both, but he knew that was the last thing Hibari wanted to hear. And to be honest, Yamamoto didn't blame Hibari one single bit. Not for striking him. Not even for hating him, if that was what Hibari was feeling.

"Answer me." The eagle narrowed its eyes, preparing for assault.

Yamamoto closed his eyes.

SLAM. SLAM. SLAM.

There went another three blows – right on target, each one hitting him directly at the same spot as the last. Yamamoto could feel the coppery taste of blood in his mouth and couldn't tell where the blood came from. Half of his face was numbed by the pain.

There was a pause. And then – SLAM. SLAM. SLAM. Three more strikes to his body.

Yamamoto waited for another hit, but it didn't come. Slowly, he opened his eyes – one already starting to swell – and saw that Hibari was trembling, only slightly. The Skylark was trying his hardest to hide it, but his fingers gave away.

Yamamoto felt sick. "Hibari, I'm so sorry. I didn't- I-"

Yamamoto did not know what to say, the words choked back in his throat. Apologies only seemed insulting. There appeared to be nothing he could say that would make anything better. Maybe there really wasn't anything he could've said that would make it better.

They stood there in silence for a long while. Hibari's eyes boring into Yamamoto's with a hundred undeniable accusations, Yamamoto looking back at him helplessly.

Yamamoto never felt so weak in his life. _I messed up. I had everything I wanted – I finally had him – and I messed it up. There's nothing I can do to fix this..._

_ I'm losing him. I'm definitely losing him. I love him, and I'm losing him._

_ ...you idiot, Yamamoto. What did you do? _

"You know," Hibari finally started, "My ex came back."

Yamamoto stood there, confused as to where Hibari was going with this.

"He was the first person I cared about. We were together for two years," Hibari exhaled, before he continued in a quieter voice, "Then he left me."

Yamamoto could see the pain concealed behind the shadows of Hibari's eyes. At that moment, he wanted to hurt Hibari's ex-lover. How dare he hurt him? How _dare_ he?

But then Yamamoto realized that, right now, _he_ was the one who hurt Hibari. _He_ was the one who made Hibari look like that.

Deflated, Yamamoto listened as Hibari went on.

"I swore that I would never let anyone in again. I didn't want to... feel like that again." Hibari spoke in a detached way, his face and tone unchanging, as though he was telling a story of someone completely unrelated to him. "Then you changed my mind."

Yamamoto inhaled sharply.

"I thought you would be different. That you wouldn't-" Hibari cut himself off to take a deep breath, rolling in his lips and looking away for a moment, trying to keep his cool.

When Hibari looked back at Yamamoto again, his eyes were red, and his voice cracked faintly as he spoke.

"I trusted you."

It broke Yamamoto's heart.

_Yamamoto, you idiot. You bloody fucking idiot. What the hell did you do?_

Hibari looked away, lifting up a hand to his forehead. "You know what? Forget it. Just go. Go be with him. I don't want it if I'm just an 'option'."

With that, Hibari headed towards the hotel room door. But right before he could turn the knob, Yamamoto closed his hand over Hibari's, wrapping his other arm around the Skylark's waist, burying his face into his shoulders.

Hibari sucked in a deep breath of air, "Let go."

"Don't leave," Yamamoto pleaded in a whisper, his hold tightening on Hibari. "_Please._"

"Let _go_, Yamamoto Takeshi," Hibari's voice tightened, "You owe me at least that much."

"Give me one more chance, I beg you. Just one more chance," Yamamoto no longer cared for his pride or dignity as a man. All he knew was that he just could _not_ let Hibari go. It didn't matter that he still did not know how to make things right or how he would deal with more problems following. In this moment, he was willing to give up absolutely anything but the Skylark.

_It hurts too much. I can't stand it._

Hibari could feel his shoulders becoming wet with tears of the younger man. To say that it did nothing to his resolve would be a lie. But Hibari was not a man who gave in that easily.

The Skylark shook his head, "I don't understand. If you weren't happy you could've left, Yamamoto. If you wanted someone else, you should've gone. Why did you do this?"

"I wasn't unhappy," Yamamoto's voice was muffled and choked, "I was never unhappy with you."

Hibari clenched his fists, "Then _why_?"

"Because I-" Yamamoto was at a loss – because, all of a sudden, he didn't know why. He didn't know why he cheated. It was completely out of character for him and, not to mention, Hibari was the one he had been longing for since forever. And now Yamamoto was losing him, after he finally had him in his grasp.

"I don't know," Yamamoto clung onto Hibari desperately, afraid that Hibari will dash out through the door and never return again. "I don't know... I messed up. I was stupid. I'm sorry. I'm so, _so_ sorry, Hibari. I really am. Please, don't go. I'd do anything. Just... _please_."

Hibari could hear the plea in Yamamoto's voice, touch, and even his breath. And even though he swore nothing could change his mind, Hibari couldn't help but soften – because Yamamoto reminded him so much of himself when he was around the same age. It was when Dino left him.

Back then, he had been just as desperate – if not, even more. Hibari could remember how he was willing to trade anything, to do anything, just to see Dino – just once, just for one single second back in his arms. He remembered praying for it every day, every night – waiting at the phone for a call, checking the mail for a letter, going through his inbox messages and call history on his mobile every free time of the day just to make sure that he didn't miss anything.

Hibari remembered too well how much it broke him to be denied that chance to patch things up with Dino. And now it was too late.

However, in Yamamoto's case...

"Yamamoto," Hibari murmured, gently resting his other hand on top of Yamamoto's. "Will you break things off with him if I give you one more chance?"

Yamamoto stilled. Before, without thinking, he gave one affirmative nod.

_Anything but let you go._

"Say it," Hibari squeezed his hand, "Promise you'll break it off for good."

It took a longer pause for this one. But eventually, Yamamoto whispered, "_I promise_."

"Hn," Hibari sighed, closing his eyes, knowing this would be a foolish mistake. But Hibari just could not deny Yamamoto that second chance – not when he knew and could empathize exactly with how Yamamoto felt.

Turning around to face Yamamoto, Hibari reached up to caress the younger's bruised, tear-streaked cheek with his thumb. "I'll forgive you just this once."

Yamamoto instantly took Hibari into his arms, tears of relief running down his face as he whispered "thank you" over and over. His entire body was quivering as it held Hibari as though he would never let him go.

"Shh," Hibari hushed him softly, running delicate fingers through Yamamoto's short hair, "Come on now. I don't like crybabies – more than those weak herbivores, even."

Yamamoto managed a smile through his tears, "Sorry. I'm just... _happy_."

And looking at that smile, Hibari was glad he forgave Yamamoto. To kill such a bright light was something Hibari would rather never do – and honestly, Hibari would've missed this smile quite a lot more than he would allow himself to admit.

_Damn it, Yamamoto Takeshi, what have you done to me?_

Looking at Yamamoto's genuinely joy-filled expression sparked up an impulse within Hibari. And he decided to act on it before his mind could deliberate too long on the matter.

Holding Yamamoto's face with the fingertips of both hands, Hibari stretched up and kissed him.

Yamamoto's eyes widened in surprise, before he gradually lowered his lashes until they were shut and he melded into the kiss. Hibari hummed pleasantly in response, snaking his arms around Yamamoto's neck, one hand tugging playfully at the roots of Yamamoto's hair.

It was a make-up kiss that sealed their relationship back in place – most likely tighter than before.

Yamamoto cradled Hibari in his arms, folding him in close, the sweet mesh of their lips making him delirious with happiness. Hibari seemed to be feeling something similar, for he swiped his tongue along the seam of Yamamoto's lips, asking for entrance – to which Yamamoto wholeheartedly allowed.

Hibari gave a soft moan of satisfaction, which sounded like a part-sigh, when their tongues slid against each other. The hand that was not previously messing with Yamamoto's hair dipped down Yamamoto's spine before it found its way up beneath Yamamoto's shirt, fingertips tracing their way along the smooth skin of Yamamoto's back.

Yamamoto returned the action by pushing Hibari against the door and kissing him with greater fervor. Part of his lips was still aching from earlier, but Yamamoto couldn't care less. He was here, kissing the person he loved, and nothing else in the world mattered.

Hibari appeared to agree, as he sucked on Yamamoto's bottom lip, tugging teasingly with his teeth, before meeting their mouths fully once again. Then, the Skylark arched his back to press their bodies closer, clawing at Yamamoto with his fingers.

"Hibari..." Yamamoto groaned, a deep guttural sound in his throat, as he parted from the kiss to nip down the nape of Hibari's pale neck. Once he reached the conjunction between neck and shoulders, Yamamoto bit down and sucked hard at the sensitive spot.

Hibari leaned his head back against the door and moaned through gritted teeth. His grip tightened on Yamamoto and he sank into the pain-filled pleasure of the bite. As soon as Yamamoto's lips left his neck, Hibari yanked him back into an ardent kiss, pressing his tongue firmly against Yamamoto's. His fingers spread itself through Yamamoto's hair and gripped, whilst the other hand found its way to the front and began unbuttoning Yamamoto's shirt.

"Nnh-" Hibari mumbled into the kiss as his fingers fumbled with the buttons, not managing to undo them quickly enough. Yamamoto grabbed Hibari's wrist and pinned it against the door, away from his shirt.

Hibari bit Yamamoto's bottom lip as a complaint. Yamamoto grumbled and responded by rolling his hips against him. Hibari stopped complaining, gasping quietly in pleasure instead, and the pinned hand slipped down to intertwine with Yamamoto's.

Yamamoto, encouraged, repeated the motion – pressing harder against him this time. Then, he repeated it again. And again.

"Yama- moto- ah-" Hibari was panting inaudibly, his knees going weak. His other arm on Yamamoto clung onto the baseball player's neck, gripping his shirt.

"Mm?" Yamamoto's lips were pressed to the back of Hibari's ear. Hot breath slid down Hibari's neck, giving his chills right down his spine.

Yamamoto rolled his hips once more and Hibari shuddered as he held back a moan. Leaning close to Yamamoto, Hibari whispered breathlessly – seductively – into his ear.

"_Bed._"

* * *

**Takumi's apartment, 6.09pm**

"His father sold him off? Damn. Now that's a first."

"I'd say – for a bloody expensive price, too. I can hardly afford one night. Fucking alcoholic needs his money for more booze," Takumi smirked as he set Gokudera down on the bed, "But I guess it's a fair deal. _Sweet_, young Hayato-kun here is_ just my type_."

Aikawa, Takumi's roommate, shrugged uncaringly as he took another drag from his cigarette. "Looks like nothing but a scrawny brat to me. The silver hair is a bit much. Is it dyed?"

"Oh, nuh-uh. This baby here is an all-natural," Takumi chuckled, squeezing Gokudera's jaw and tilting his head side to side to observe his features.

"Hehh? Seriously?" Aikawa raised an eyebrow, a curious grin appearing on his face, "I wonder whether he's silver _down there_ too."

"Ha! Well we will find out, won't we, Hayato-chan?" Takumi licked Gokudera's ear, before he raised his body back up. "Now get your ass over here and help me tie him up, will you? The little bitch can be quite difficult when he's awake. A leading member of a hot shot color gang, eh, Hayato-kun? See if your darling Dynamite members can come save you this time, eh?"

Aikawa crushed out the remains of his cigarette before he began tying up Gokudera's wrist to the bedpost. "Oh yeah, talking about color gangs, Levi's coming over today for some stash."

"Ah?" Takumi tightened the rope around Gokudera's ankle, "What do they need this time?"

"Meh, the usual Varia crap – whiskey, tobacco, weed, blah blah blah..."

"Well, keep them well away from my room. I'm not gonna be done with him for a longggg time," Takumi cackled loudly. Then, he bent over Gokudera's face and murmured in a sing-song voice, "We're gonna have fun tonight, Hayato-chan."

Aikawa moved on to the other wrist, rolling his eyes, "You're disgusting, man. Don't worry – wouldn't want our biggest client witnessing your fucked-up hobbies. Not that they would mind – if this kid's from Dynamite, they'll be glad you're fucking his brains out."

"You betcha I'll fuck his goddamn brains out until he does nothing but scream for more of my cock up his sweet, tight little ass," Takumi sneered, "Isn't that right, Hayato-kun?"

Aikawa sighed, "Alright, I'm done here. Enjoy. I'll be taking my leave before you plague my sight forever."

"Oh, nah, no need to rush. I'll wait until he wakes up anyways," Takumi's face split into a wide smile. "I like it when they scream."

"Uh-huh. Creep. Still leaving," Aikawa walked to the door, "How old did you say this one was, again?"

Takumi grinned, "Couldn't be much older than sixteen."

Aikawa shook his head, too exposed to his roommate to be offended. "You are one sick, sick bastard."

Takumi just laughed.

* * *

**Hotel, 7.18pm**

Hibari was inhumane in his beauty. His black hair was ink-black against the paper-white bed sheets. His milky complexion was unmarred – flawless in one same tone from head to toe as he lay, completely naked, before Yamamoto. His manhood – Yamamoto noted with a delicious stir in his stomach – was no exception. The only other color that made its appearance on the Skylark's body was a light, rosy pink that marked his nipples and the tip of his taut member.

_So beautiful._

The mere sight of Hibari was enough to make all the blood in Yamamoto's body pool into his abdominal areas.

"Your skin... feels so good," Yamamoto breathed against Hibari's bare chest as he peppered kisses onto his pale skin, now flushed with heat. Yamamoto's calloused hands, from overexposure to baseball, roamed his body – exploring every inch, every detail with care.

One palm slid over Hibari's nipple, and the Skylark's breath hitched. "Ah- Yama-"

Intrigued by that sensitive reaction, Yamamoto tweaked the hardening nub experimentally. Hibari's nails instantly dug into his back, leaving little red marks in his skin. Yamamoto, pleased by the response, licked his lips slowly before he covered the nipple completely with his mouth. He flicked at the nub with the tip of his tongue. Hibari gasped. Feeling strangely daring, Yamamoto tried nipping at the same nub with his teeth.

"Ah-!" Hibari arched right off the bed, hissing as he did so. His fingers dragged subconsciously along Yamamoto's back – white lines appearing on that tanned skin. Hibari's other hand clutched onto the bed sheet in a tight grip.

Yamamoto chuckled softly, kissing Hibari's chest right where the heart was before he moved on down Hibari's torso. Hibari watched him with curious eyes, wondering what the younger man would do next. One of his hands was now in Yamamoto's hair, running through it and ruffling it up. Hibari found that he rather liked seeing Yamamoto's hair all messy and damp – surprisingly, it was a very attractive look for him.

"Having fun there?" Yamamoto looked up from Hibari's flat stomach to flash him a cheeky smile.

The sight of Yamamoto hovering right over his cock was beyond arousing, and Hibari couldn't help but blush at the sight. To cover up, he gently pinched Yamamoto's bruised cheek. "Just keep going."

"Oww," Yamamoto winced slightly, although the smile only brightened when he saw the pink flush on Hibari's cheeks. "Hai, hai. Got it, senpai."

Yamamoto went back to adorning Hibari's stomach with kisses. Occasionally, he sucked on a spot to leave a dark red mark that would make Hibari squirm. When he reached Hibari's navel, Yamamoto looked up into Hibari's eyes before he playfully dipped the tip of his tongue inside.

Hibari groaned his approval, gripping Yamamoto's hair. His stiff member was already leaking at the tip with need. Biting his lip, Hibari leaned back and mumbled, "...lower."

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow, before he glanced down at the neglected appendage. Grinning, he moved his body downwards towards Hibari's groin before he lingered his lips right above where Hibari wanted his attention the most.

"Is this where you want it?" Yamamoto murmured, warm breath ghosting Hibari's cock.

"Nnh-" Hibari grumbled, gritting his teeth, trying his hardest not to arch his hips up into Yamamoto's touch. "Don't tease me..."

"Hm?" Yamamoto cupped the erection in his warm hands, causing Hibari to moan at the contact. However, Yamamoto did not move his hand from that position. The lack of friction was driving Hibari insane.

The insufferable smile was still on his face, "What do you want me to do, senpai?"

"Don't- get cocky with me-!" Hibari hissed.

"Oh?" Yamamoto chuckled, releasing his hold on Hibari. "That's too bad, then."

Hibari gripped Yamamoto's shoulders desperately, "_Yamamoto-!_"

_Damn this bloody sophomore._

Yamamoto's smile widened. Placing his hands on both sides of Hibari's body, he maneuvered himself upwards until his lips were right beside Hibari's ear.

"What is it..." Yamamoto's lips grazed his ear lobe tantalizingly, his voice dropping an octave as his hand wrapped around Hibari's cock, teasing the slit with his thumb, "..._Kyouya?_"

Hibari drew in a sharp breath at that name, his body clenching up at the sound of Yamamoto's voice and the added pressure of his hand. Hibari squeezed his eyes shut as the shudders ran violently through his body, and before he knew it, he came with a muffled moan. Warm, white liquid spurted out onto his stomach and over Yamamoto's hand. The younger watched in awe as Hibari's orgasm died down, helpfully pumping his hand slowly and firmly up Hibari's softening member as though to pump out the remaining semen.

Hibari reopened his eyes to see Yamamoto rubbing the liquid in his hands around his fingers. Those dark chocolate eyes seemed intrigued. Hibari frowned, "What are you doing? That's dirty."

"No it's not," Yamamoto retorted immediately. "If it's yours, it's not dirty."

As if to prove his point, Yamamoto lifted his hand to his mouth – and before Hibari could stop him – he licked the liquid right off his fingers.

Hibari couldn't help but find the sight insanely arousing – and felt wrong on so many levels for doing so. He turned away, burying his burning cheeks in the pillow, covering his face with his arms.

Yamamoto pulled the arms away, planting a long kiss on Hibari's forehead. Leaning up on his elbows, Yamamoto kissed the tip of Hibari's nose, his eyes glazed over with desire. "I want you. I want all of you."

Hibari could feel Yamamoto's hot hard-on pressing onto his thighs and felt selfish for being the only one who had his release. He reached upwards and curled his arms around Yamamoto, embracing him close. Carefully, Hibari pecked Yamamoto's cheek before murmured, ever so quietly...

"Take me."

Yamamoto's eyes widened, his lower stomach curdling with excitement that was brimming over the edge. As though unable to control himself, Yamamoto sealed his mouth onto Hibari's and kissed him deeply, tilting his head to devour him at the best possible angle.

"Yamamoto..." Hibari breathed on Yamamoto's chin, a trembling hand finding Yamamoto's and sliding it downwards.

Yamamoto practically growled with desire when Hibari guided him towards his tight entrance, pressing onto his hand assuredly. Yamamoto looked into his eyes, "Kyouya..."

Hibari writhed beneath him. Something about the way and the fact that Yamamoto said his name made Hibari's insides quiver with yearning. He wanted more, he wanted so much more, and _god, _Hibari needed Yamamoto to push into him before this craving ate him up.

"Lube," Hibari ordered, a little breathlessly, "...quick."

Yamamoto fumbled with the bedside table's drawers until he found a decent bottle of gel. Hurriedly, he squeezed the contents of his bottle onto his hand, warming it up before he rubbed his lubricated fingers against Hibari's entrance.

Hibari latched his teeth onto Yamamoto's neck, biting him in a silent command to 'get on with it already'. The force at which Hibari sucked onto his flesh was certain to leave a dark bruise.

"Relax, okay?" Yamamoto murmured as he slipped his middle finger into the tight hole.

Hibari sucked in a deep breath. He was not a virgin, but it had been so long that he might as well have been one. However, from the little experience that he had, Hibari knew that it gets better. He leaned his head against Yamamoto's. "More."

"Mm," Yamamoto complied, adding a second finger in a scissoring motion, knowing that he had to prepare Hibari well.

Hibari clenched around him, exhaling. Subconsciously, he hooked his knees onto Yamamoto's torso for support. The heat that surrounded Yamamoto's fingers drove him crazy. Just imagining being buried into this hot, tight cavern was almost enough to send him over the edge.

Yamamoto took hold of Hibari's half-hard member and began pumping it in time with the thrusts of his fingers. Hibari gasped in pleasure, his arms clinging onto Yamamoto's shoulders, clawing him as he did so. Drowned in euphoria, Hibari didn't even notice when Yamamoto slipped in the third finger. Or when Yamamoto tore open the condom bag with his teeth.

By the time Yamamoto withdrew his fingers, Hibari's cock was back to standing tall and firm. Hibari felt a strange emptiness when Yamamoto's fingers left him – and almost whimpered in complaint when, suddenly, the scorching heat of something else pressed against his entrance.

"...can I?" Yamamoto took the decency to ask – still so good-natured even when he, himself, could hardly bear pausing when all he wanted was to thrust, long and deep, into Hibari.

"Nnh-" The Skylark nodded quickly, hungry for it just as much as Yamamoto was.

Needing no further encouragement, Yamamoto pushed into him.

Hibari's lips parted in silent scream.

"Nngh, god, _Kyouya-_" Yamamoto grunted as he sunk completely into Hibari. The sheer heat and tightness that enveloped him was too much to handle. Hibari's walls clamped down on him to the point that it was almost becoming painful. Yamamoto blew out a hot breath, "Try to- relax..."

Hibari could feel Yamamoto's entire member throbbing within him. Yamamoto was not, by any standards, 'small' – and even though Hibari hated to admit it, it was difficult to relax through the pain of being filled up to the hilt with such thickness and length. Hibari's hand had gripped the bed sheet so tight that it became a lump of fabric within his fist. Struggling to speak, Hibari managed to choke out, "_Can't._"

It was killing Yamamoto to be buried so deep into this heat and not being able to move. However, if there was something Yamamoto could pride himself on, it was his patience. So he allowed time for Hibari to adjust, his free hand never stopping its work on Hibari's weeping cock, trying to distract him.

Eventually, Hibari regained his breath and could allow himself to relax. Understanding how hard it must've been for Yamamoto to wait for him to acclimatize, Hibari whispered huskily into his ears, "Okay... you can move now."

Yamamoto took it slow, using everything of the control he had not to immediately thrust madly into the Skylark. Yamamoto pulled out more and more each time before thrusting back in, making each stroke longer and deeper. In the later strokes, Yamamoto pulled out until just the tip of his cock was inside of Hibari, and then pushed himself, full-force, right back in again. Hibari moaned through rolled-in lips. He wrapped his legs tighter around Yamamoto's body, driving Yamamoto in even deeper. Yamamoto grunted deep and low in his throat, taking this as an okay to picking up the pace.

"Haah-! Yama-!" Hibari arched his back, gasping as Yamamoto thrust hard into him and struck a certain spot within that sent him into pure ecstasy.

"Unh- there?" Yamamoto grumbled, kissing Hibari's chin and lapping at his lower lip as he thrust again at the same angle with even more force.

"Ah-! Mm-!" Hibari nodded desperately, moaning time and time again as Yamamoto hit that sweet bundle of nerves right on, shooting violent sparks of hot white pleasure right through his spine.

The two coupling bodies were damp with sweat, but they didn't care. The crude, raw sounds of their flesh slapping against one another as well as the wet squish of where their bodies joined only made the motions more addictive. Hibari's entire frame shook from the continuous bursts of pleasure that bolted through him like electricity.

"Nngh-! Yama- so close-!" Hibari panted heavily, his face flushed red as his orgasm drew closer and closer. His pink, kiss-swollen lips were parted, and his dark eyes were hooded with desire. It was the most erotic thing Yamamoto had ever seen.

"Unh- me too..." Yamamoto groaned, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he melted Hibari's moans into a messy kiss, more teeth than tongue, lust dominating over passion. Yamamoto jerked his hand on Hibari's cock faster to match his rhythm, the need for release overcoming both of them.

With one particular sharp, deep thrust, Hibari broke the kiss and arched his back high off the bed. "_Takeshi...!_"

Hibari's walls clinched tightly down onto Yamamoto as he came. The overwhelming heat and tightness tipped Yamamoto over the edge, shooting his release within the Skylark with a low groan of his name.

Slowly, Hibari released his iron death-grip on Yamamoto's shoulders as the effects of his orgasm died down. Yamamoto kissed Hibari's cheek affectionately before he rolled over and collapsed beside his lover. Hibari watched with half-lidded eyes as Yamamoto pulled off the well-filled condom, tied it, and discarded it.

"...where did you get that?" Hibari wondered aloud, lingering a hand in Yamamoto's damp hair, not wanting to break contact between them.

"Hm?" Yamamoto turned onto his side and pecked Hibari's lips, "Found it next to the lube."

"Mm..." Hibari hummed, closing his eyes tiredly, "Convenient."

"Sleep," Yamamoto hushed him softly, pressing gentle kisses onto Hibari's eyelids. "You look exhausted."

"Hn," Hibari murmured with his eyes shut, "Ordering me around now, Takeshi?"

Yamamoto chuckled amiably, "...I love it when you call my name."

"Hn..." Hibari sighed quietly, allowing himself a little smile at the corner of his lips as he fell asleep, his hand still tangled loosely in Yamamoto's hair.

Yamamoto picked up Hibari's other hand and kissed it lovingly, before he let himself close his eyes and slip into unconsciousness as well.

_I'm so glad I didn't lose you._

* * *

**Takumi's apartment, 7.18pm**

Gokudera's entire body felt heavy. It was as though he was sinking slowly into a bottomless sea, a weight attached to both his wrists and his ankles. His skin was radiating heat; his body was drenched in sweat. His throat was dry in a way that reminded him of chapped lips, and his head – more than anything else – hurt like the devil.

"Ugh... fuck..." Gokudera croaked, trying to curl his body in on itself. However, he soon discovered that his legs and arms were restrained – the knowledge shocking him out of his sleep, his eyes flying open. "What the-?"

"Took you goddamn long enough to wake up, Hayato-kun," Takumi greeted him with a smirk that crawled right across his face.

"Wha-?" Gokudera was about to ask him what the bloody hell he was doing when a violent series of coughs ripped through his throat.

"Aww, somebody's come down with a fever, hm?" Takumi whispered lowly, blowing air into Gokudera's ear. "...want me to give you an injection?"

Gokudera flinched away from Takumi with obvious disgust. That was when he finally noticed that both his arms and legs were tied up firmly to four bedposts. And that he was stripped completely naked. And that Takumi had his pants undone.

It took a moment for his fever-induced brain to join the dots, but when he finally did, Gokudera blanched in horror. This was a situation that would be difficult to get out even if he was healthy. As sick as Gokudera was? No chance.

_Shit. No fucking way. You must be fucking kidding me. Anything but this._

_...seriously. Anything but this._

Gokudera began to struggle against his binds, but to no avail. All the good that did for him was give his skin rope-burns. His energy was burdened by his sickness. Even simple motions such as turning his head and tugging on the ropes made him feel like he had just run a marathon. There was no way he would be able to escape. Gokudera knew this anyways. But that didn't stop him from trying as hard as he could. Gokudera wouldn't give in to this. He just couldn't. Not this.

"Seems like you've realized what's going on here..." Takumi chuckled – not even trying to conceal the creepy tone behind his amusement. He leaned over Gokudera, alcohol-laced breath blowing over his face. "Now, now, if you be a good boy, Haya-chan, I'll be gentle with you."

Gokudera wanted to swear at him, but his raked throat wouldn't allow his tone to be offensive enough. Instead, Gokudera opted to spitting in Takumi's face.

"Go to hell," Gokudera rasped.

That seemed to do the trick. Takumi was insulted, alright. Infuriated, even.

As he wiped the saliva slowly off his face with the back of his hand, Takumi's smile hardened. It became more vicious. Like how a snake would smile if it took a humane form. "Alright, Hayato-kun. If you want to play the game that way, I'll follow through."

Gokudera shivered visibly in horror when Takumi unzipped his pants and took out his fully erected cock. Takumi stroked himself slowly, as though valuing his manhood as something precious, speaking in a low murmur as he did so. "Pity. I wanted to prepare you properly, Hayato. Maybe even use some lube..."

Gokudera struggled harder against the ropes, becoming desperate and thoughtless in his means to escape, his skin becoming cut and inflamed by the friction.

_No. No, please, no._

Takumi spat crudely in his hand before rubbing it over the tip of his cock, "I guess spit seems to be more of your thing, eh, you little slut?"

Takumi spread Gokudera's legs wider, enjoying the terrified look of Gokudera's face.

Gokudera couldn't do anything. He couldn't move, couldn't counter-attack. He couldn't even cry out for help. For hell's sake, Gokudera couldn't even put up a good fight because of his bloody fever. He couldn't even express the degree to which he despised this man, the degree to which he found this disgusting, how much he absolutely _abhorred_ him.

_No. Please, god. _

_No. _

_No. No, please..._

Gokudera couldn't stand it. Tears of frustration brimmed up in his eyes.

_Please._

_Somebody help._

Takumi poised himself at Gokudera's entrance, a cheap thrill causing laughter to bubble from his lips. "You better make yourself ready to scream, bitch."

_Please._

"No..." Gokudera managed to shake his head, resorting to giving Takumi a desperate pleading look. Gokudera's voice cracked, "..._don't._"

_Please._

Takumi only laughed harder – almost in a way that made him look insane, laughing so hard he was gasping for breath, taking them in high-pitched hitches.

Gokudera was horrified.

And then, out of the blue, mid-laughter, Takumi shoved into him.

_No._

_NO._

No lube, no distracting touches, no act of passion – not even a single act of kindness. Even the expression on Takumi's face was ridicule – a mocking, inhumane sneer.

"_Agh-!_" The pain seared through Gokudera's entire body. Gokudera felt like he was being torn in half, his virgin entrance splitting. The heat scorched his insides, and Gokudera felt sick to his gut. Vomit built up right behind his throat, but even as he tried to retch, nothing came out. The acid in his mouth choked him.

_This shouldn't be happening._

_Why is this happening?_

_Why is nobody helping? _

_Why? Why is this happening?_

Ironically, the blood that seeped out of his entrance helped lubricate the violent thrusts – lessening the pain by the slightest fraction.

Gokudera's mind was a jumbled mess. The intense pain and the attack on his dignity making him lose control. He was confused, terrified, hurt – and at the same time, the other part of his mind forced him to shut down, to detach himself, to not show his vulnerability even through this sort of torture.

To appear unaffected was the only act of defiance Gokudera's pitiful state would allow him.

And he couldn't do even that.

_Please._

_Somebody help._

_Somebody please help me._

_Spanner. Skull. Lancia. Anybody._

_...Yamamoto. Yamamoto! Where are you? Why aren't you here?_

_Please, help me._

_Make it stop. Just make it stop. Please..._

_Anybody. Make it stop. Yamamoto...!_

_Yamamoto?_

_...Bianchi?_

_..._

_...dad?_

...

Gokudera's croaked screams were endless.

And nobody came.

* * *

**A/N: **Oh god, that last scene was so painful to write. D: Please don't kill me, all of you Gokudera fans.

Okay! So there you go, the first all-out smut in this fic! Hopefully I have managed to satisfy you all~ :D It was quite unfortunate that I had to end such an awaited scene with rape :/

I would also like to notify that this is not yet near the conclusion to this fic :D We still have quite a little way down the road to travel.

As always, thank you so much for sticking with me! I would love it if you gave me feedback on this chapter! :D


	20. Monster

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, rape flashbacks.

Send some love to my darling beta, **AmbiguousThoughts **;)

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

**Hotel, 4.01am**

Yamamoto was talking to someone.

Hibari's eyes immediately flew wide open. He had always been a very shallow sleeper, waking up at every slightest click of the door. Drowsily, Hibari felt the mattress area beside him with his hand – it was empty but still warm from body heat. Yamamoto hadn't left for too long. Listening in closer, Hibari could hear Yamamoto mumbling urgently, the sound of his foot pacing across the hotel carpets evident.

_Who is he talking to at this hour?_

Hibari rolled over to get a better look – and immediately winced. He was sore. His muscles protested at every slight movement, his throat was dry, and his lips were tingling. But what bothered him the most was the soreness. Hibari moved again and – oh god, he really was _sore_. Especially down _there_.

..._it's going to be hard to walk. _Hibari realized. _Tch._

_ Yamamoto, you better treat me well for this._

Narrowing his eyes to see through the darkness, Hibari saw that Yamamoto had his mobile with him, whispering into it and walking all over the room in an awkward hurried motion. A closer inspection made Hibari discover that Yamamoto was half-hopping because he was pulling his trousers on at the same time.

"...shit. _Shit_. Where is he?" Yamamoto's voice was distressed in a way that Hibari never heard before. His voice, even hushed as it was, was obviously full of emotion: anger? Fury? Fear? Sorrow? All of those combined? Hibari couldn't pin a point on it.

_What the hell is going on?_

Yamamoto was buttoning his shirt now, struggling to keep his mobile held between his ear and shoulders. "Are you- ? What about the others? ...got it. I'll be there right away."

Sensing that something had gone terribly wrong somewhere in the world, Hibari frowned and – with effort – pushed himself up into a sitting position, resisting the urge to groan.

"Yes. Yes. I'm leaving right now. I swear I'll get there as fast as I can." Yamamoto disconnected the line and headed towards the door.

By the time Hibari managed to get his throat working and call out loudly enough, Yamamoto's hand was already placed on the doorknob, ready to leave. "_Yamamoto._"

The young baseball ace froze and, as if remembering his presence for the first time, turned to look at Hibari. His hand, however, still gripped the handle. At any moment, Yamamoto would dash through that door – and the baseball player very much looked like he was dying to.

But the sophomore must've had some feeling of responsibility to Hibari, so he answered to him. Even in the darkness, Yamamoto's eyes showed visible panic. "Hibari."

Hibari waited. Yamamoto said nothing more.

The Skylark frowned.

_That's it? _

_Aren't you going to explain why you're positioned at the door, so ready to leave? After what we did together last night, you're just going to up and out just like that? Without even saying two words to me?_

_...is that it?_

"You're leaving," Hibari said, trying to appear calm and casual. But in his mind, he was yelling, '_Where the hell do you think you're going?'_

Because even though he wanted nothing but to forget, Hibari couldn't help but be painfully reminded that this was exactly what happened one year ago. His lover sneaked away right after making love to him for the first time. The only differences being that last time, the guy didn't get caught, and instead of Yamamoto, it was Dino Cavallone.

_What will I be left to hang on to this time? _Hibari was frustrated – and bloody well-pissed off. _Another stupid piece of note?_

Yamamoto must've noticed Hibari's expression, so he turned around and bowed his head apologetically. "I'm sorry, Hibari... I just- I have to go. I _have_ to. I'm sorry."

Then, Yamamoto rushed out of the room.

SLAM.

The sound of the door slamming shut echoed all around Hibari.

...

_What... the fuck?_

Hibari was struck dumb. He felt lost. And Hibari hardly ever felt lost.

_...what the _fuck?

Five minutes later, the Skylark found himself staring at the closed door, trying – and failing – to figure out exactly what was going on. Yamamoto had left with such urgency he didn't even appear to have the time to explain. There was no clue, no inclination to give Hibari the slightest idea of the 'what's, 'why's, 'who's, 'how's, and 'when's. All he knew was that after sex with Yamamoto last night they fell asleep side by side. If there were any signs then, Hibari missed it. The phone call conversation Hibari half-overheard was no help either. All he could tell was that Yamamoto was in a tremendous rush to get somewhere, and that was just about it.

_Why was he so desperate to get away? Who was on the phone? What the hell is going on?_

Hibari hated this. He hated feeling clueless, left alone in the dark whilst the world moved on around and behind his back. He hated losing control – losing grasp of things that concerned him, and losing sense of reason. The Skylark worked logically – he liked relaying things in his mind in the form of cause and effect. Having the 'cause' information stripped away from him left Hibari wandering like a blinded man, and he _hated_ it.

And all the time, Hibari felt a panging inside his chest – bleeping like an alarm – telling him that this was the exact same situation he was in, one year ago. Once again, Hibari was forced to stand in this pathetic clueless position, fumbling for leads which were nonexistent.

_At least Dino had the decency to leave a fucking note. _Hibari thought, bitterly.

Comparing was inevitable. The two situations just paralleled one another so similarly it was impossible not to do so. It was as though someone was playing a sick joke on him – like someone was trying to send him some sort of message with such an almost-perfect replay of series of events.

Hibari clutched his head in one hand, gripping his hair. _Why? Why does this keep happening?_

_Every time I let myself feel something, this shit happens. They fuck me and then they leave. _Hibari gritted his teeth. _Who the hell do they think they are? Treating me like some..._

Hibari struggled to place the words.

_Like some..._

_Some..._

_...some cheap_ whore.

"Fuck." Hibari swore. "..._fuck_."

_Is there something wrong with me? What the hell did I do wrong?_

_Can't I just wake up and find that everything is, for once, _right?

As equally as the act was a blow to Hibari's pride, deeper down, it cut Hibari that every single time he let his guard down, the person always seemed to use that opportunity to slap him in the face. It was hard enough for Hibari to trust anyone as it is...

_...or am I not deserving of something so precious?_

_Well, that seems to be the case. Even my own damn father doesn't love me. So who would?_

_Why did I ever expect anyone would? How could I've been so stupid?_

Hibari shook his head, not understanding and not even attempting to understand any longer. He was tired. He was tired of figuring out things that were impossible to figure out, tired of waiting for something that never came, tired of chasing after someone who was never there, and tired of trying so damn hard and never ever getting anything in return... he was just tired of everything.

_Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me._

_...I should've known better than to let history repeat itself. I'm better than that. I'm much better than that._

The Skylark buried his head between his knees, forcing himself to cut ties with all emotion. Without emotion, he could not be hurt – at least, not in this sick, horrible way. But even as he started, Hibari knew it wouldn't work. His plan was flawed. Because part of him was still wondering – and would always wonder...

_Why...? _

_Why do people keep leaving?_

_..._

_..._

_...what the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

**Namimori Hospital, 4.28am**

Yamamoto wanted to kill someone. Anyone. Himself.

As he sprinted towards the ER, Yamamoto kept replaying Spanner's voice in his head.

_[Gokudera was raped.]_

_Gokudera was raped._

_Gokudera. Was. Raped._

_..._

_Rape. _

_His Gokudera. _

_Raped._

'Takumi'. The name was all Yamamoto was given as information on the assailant, but Yamamoto had already decided well and clear – that asshole deserved worse than death for what he did. Even though he knew Lancia and Dynamite would get to that low-life sooner or later, Yamamoto still wanted to get some blood out of Takumi with his own hands. Yamamoto never thought of himself as anything even particularly close to a criminal, but if he had a knife right then he would not hesitate to stab the life out of that bastard Takumi.

And when he was done, he'd plunge the damn knife into his own throat.

_I should've been there for him. I should never have let him get out of sight. I knew he was sick. I knew he was weak. I even knew he was in danger. I saw the finger marks around his neck, the broken look that always lingered in his eyes. I saw it all – so many hints to let me know there was something wrong going on in his life. I knew of the threat, and yet I left him at his most vulnerable moment._

_And whilst Gokudera was suffering possibly the worst torture of his life I was- !_

SLAM.

Yamamoto slammed his fist on the wall of the ER building. His body was heaving with heavy breaths and was so tense with fury it was trembling.

_Calm down. Calm. Down._

_ It's no good for anyone if I go in like this._

Only Yamamoto's concern for Gokudera was holding him back from the edge of both murder and suicide. Gokudera was his priority right now.

Eventually, Yamamoto was able to compose himself enough to step into the ER waiting room. Inside, he saw Spanner, M.M., Skull and Lancia along with a few other Dynamite members he didn't recognize sitting together in a clump at a corner. The other patients' relatives in the room backed away from them like they had the plague, recognizing them as the notorious Dynamite color gang with their signature red scarves.

Lancia was the first to notice Yamamoto. With a grave expression, Lancia nodded to him in acknowledgement before he nudged Spanner with his foot to alert him. Spanner, who appeared previously frozen, came to life like a machine suddenly switched on. His head snapped up to look at Yamamoto, an empty lollipop stick caught between his teeth, dark circles beneath his eyes.

"Yamamoto Takeshi," Spanner walked up to him and gave a weak squeeze on his shoulders.

One simple motion and Yamamoto found himself all of a sudden on the verge of breakdown. Standing here, in front of the emergency room, with Dynamite members staring up at him made the situation all the more real. Spanner was very obviously worn out, M.M.'s eyes were red from forcing back tears, Skull and many younger members of Dynamite looked absolutely shattered, and Lancia had a gloominess looming over him that was darker and sadder than the usual aura of intimidation.

_Bad. This is bad._

Afraid of the answer, Yamamoto feebly asked, "How is he?"

Spanner shook his head and sighed, "...not good. Unconscious."

Yamamoto paled.

"But he's Smoking Bomb. He's strong..." Spanner went on – seemingly more for his own sake than to answer Yamamoto's question. "...he'll pull through."

_No. He won't. _Yamamoto kept yelling inside. _How could he?_

_When he is already so broken inside, how could he handle this on top of everything?_

_...how could I have let this happen to him?_

* * *

**Hibari Clan, 5.07am**

"Where the hell have you been?"

Hibari Kaien stood at the front door of his house, arms crossed over his chest, his dark eyes narrowed at his only son, Hibari Kyouya. The younger Hibari had been absent throughout the entire night, and when he finally turned up at five in the morning, he was a mess. His hair was mussed up, unkempt, his clothes untidy, his walk an unsteady hobble, and his breath held the distinct smell of – Kaien could not believe it – alcohol.

Kyouya tried to brush past his father but was grabbed harshly by the collar of his school shirt.

"Don't you dare ignore me, Kyouya," Kaien growled low in his throat.

The Skylark shrugged uncaringly, not even attempting to escape. Instead, he turned his head sideways to deliberately avoid any eye contact with his father.

Kaien glared at him. "You stink of booze. How much have you been drinking?"

"...who knows," Hibari Kyouya slurred, before he began chuckling softly. Because what he said was funny – and it wasn't funny – and it didn't make sense – which made it funnier. "Heh..."

_Who knows? Who cares? _

"Wipe that bloody smile of your face, son. This is no laughing matter, do you understand? You are in serious trouble, I'm warning you," Kaien clenched his fists around his son's shirt, but it seemed to do little to dampen Kyouya's amusement.

_Who the hell cares anyways?_

"Hn... what? Are you going to ground me? Hit me?"

"Kyouya, this is my final-"

"Ah. Wait. I forgot you don't care enough. Only real fathers do." The Skylark nodded like it was just one of those little facts in life he had learnt to accept: water flowed downwards, tides followed the moon, apples were red, oranges were orange, his father didn't love him.

"_Kyouya!_" Kaien barked at him.

Kyouya only gave bitter, drunken smile.

_ Nobody cares._

_They all leave in the end._

Kaien was about to go on, when suddenly, something caught his eye – something dark and red and imprinted on his son's pale neck. After that, it all clicked inside Kaien's mind.

"Have you been fooling around with some whore behind my back, son?" Kaien's voice was low and deep.

_Whore. _Kyouya felt like scoffing. Laughing. Making some sort of inappropriate noise. Oh, the irony. A bitter, drunken smirk tugged at the young Skylark's lips. "Nothing of the sort."

"Would you care to explain that bloody mark on your neck, then?"

_If only you knew. _Kyouya could already imagine the look on Kaien's face when his very own, perfect only son, heir to the Hibari clan, brought up with strict rules and regulations... what sort of expression would his father make when he found out that supposedly 'perfect' son had been having an intimate sexual affair all this time? Not to mention, with a man?

Then, suddenly, Kyouya felt a strange impulse come over him. Perhaps it was the alcohol he downed to numb out the ache. Perhaps it was the look on Kaien's face, so disgustingly dignified in his fatherly anger. But all of a sudden, Kyouya _did_ want his father to know. He wanted to see that Hibari Kaien, the almighty head of the Hibari clan, completely shocked – pushed off his high horse, a King who sat and broke his throne.

Kaien had always been intent on raising his son to be the ideal heir. The one that graduated high school with top grades, the one that got into the best universities, the one that was the strongest, the one that will marry the most beautiful and most economically beneficial wife.

Kyouya had been told more than enough times that he was a disappointment. _What's the harm with one more killing blow?_

Leaning closer to his father and looking right into those dark, stern, eagle-like eyes that were very much like his own, Kyouya taunted, making sure Kaien could smell every single bit of the alcohol laced in his breath. "Do you really want to know, father?"

Kaien's frown deepened with the unfamiliar daring tone in his son's voice. Kyouya loved it. That invincible, omniscient Kaien who could do no wrong was now confused, and about to realise that he had – for the first time – failed. Not in business, oh no, but in something that would wound his pride much more than that. Something that would grab his pride by the balls and rip it right off.

"Listen carefully, dad..." Kyouya leaned closer, still, deliberately calling his father as he would when he was younger. It seemed to strike something within Kaien, and Kyouya grinned. The excitement and anxiety was brimming over the edge. If Kyouya was the sort of person who giggled, he would have. He wasn't, so he didn't. But oh, the Skylark was going to _enjoy_ this – so much more than he was supposed to, so much more than he ever thought he would. And it was wrong, _so_ wrong, with so many consequences.

_Well. Nobody cares anyways._

"I _fucked_ a man."

* * *

**Namimori Hospital, 5.09am**

The nurse told them that Gokudera had woken up.

Lancia, Spanner and Yamamoto were allowed to go in and visit him.

By this time, Yamamoto was feeling sick to his stomach. Would Gokudera be able to tell, just by looking at him, what he had been doing? Would it have been better if he knew? Yamamoto wouldn't know what to do if Gokudera was to look it over and never give him hell for it. Because Yamamoto deserved hell. He deserved every yell and scream and hit Gokudera would throw at him the moment he found out. He deserved feeling every awful, gut-wrenching bit of guilt.

On the other hand, if Gokudera cried, Yamamoto wouldn't know what to do. It wouldn't matter whether Gokudera cried from what he'd been through or from knowing of Yamamoto's affair. Gokudera's tears always had been Yamamoto's weakness – since the very beginning of their relationship. The first time Yamamoto kissed him, Gokudera had been in tears then as well. Gokudera's vulnerability always reduced Yamamoto to a state of utter helplessness. If he walked in and saw Gokudera crying, Yamamoto wouldn't know what to say, how to act, or even how to breathe...

But Gokudera didn't cry. Not even a single drop of tear was seen.

But somehow, that was worse.

The sickly blue of the hospital gown was an unusual color on Gokudera. Yamamoto was so accustomed to seeing Gokudera in dark tones that the pale clothes made him look alien – too frail and too blanched. It was as though someone stuck a needle in Gokudera and drained all the life out of him.

Spanner was not exaggerating when he said Gokudera's state was 'not good'. Gokudera had bruises everywhere visible and most likely under his clothes and the blanket as well – there was one particularly deep and dark bruise spread across his left cheek. His lips were darkened with dried blood, and split at the left corner and in the middle. His left eye was so swollen it was almost sealed shut. His left brow was stitched up. There were deep bruises in shape on fingers around his neck. His wrists had raging rope burns, one hooked on to an IV bag, his index finger trapped in a small clip-like object which seemed to be taking his pulse and showing it up on the electrocardiogram. On one open palm of his hand there was a mark Yamamoto could not imagine was anything else but a burn.

Yamamoto couldn't move. He wanted to hold Gokudera close and tight, he wanted to tell him he was there for him and that he was so, so sorry he wasn't before, he wanted to kiss the pain away, he wanted to rewind time, and he wanted to kill, kill, _kill_ that motherfucking bastard Takumi if it was the last thing he did. But Yamamoto couldn't move.

Those eyes paralyzed him. Those emerald green eyes which he used to love so well, right now, were more or less... _dead_. They were looking at him with no light, no spark, not even brokenness. Just empty. Dead.

"Not so pretty now, eh?" Gokudera croaked, his throat struggling to produce the sound with an underlying high-pitched wheezing sound.

Yamamoto was still frozen. What was he supposed to say? What was the right thing to say? Was there even a right thing to say?

Spanner was the first one to approach Gokudera's bed, before he rested a hand on Gokudera's shoulder. "...how're you feeling, man?"

"Marvelous," Gokudera rasped sarcastically.

Spanner tugged Gokudera's hair, "Not funny."

"Ow," Gokudera mumbled, his face completely expressionless.

Lancia also moved in and ruffled Gokudera's hair in a somewhat brotherly – maybe even fatherly – way. "Hey, kiddo."

"Yo." Gokudera's face hadn't changed once ever since Yamamoto first saw him today. It was the same still, stiff and emotionless look that Yamamoto found out he rather... hated on Gokudera.

"When do I get out of here, Lancia?" Gokudera looked up at his senior.

Lancia sighed, "Not soon. They're admitting you."

"Damn," Gokudera turned to Spanner, "So when are you breaking me out?"

Spanner shook his head, "Sorry, dude, not this time."

"What?" Gokudera looked back at Lancia, "You serious? You can't be serious."

"You're staying," Lancia confirmed.

"Well, fuck." Gokudera muttered, "Why do you guys have to make it such a big deal? I got hurt worse with Varia before – I wasn't in hospital that time."

"You know that's not the same," Spanner said.

"The fuck it isn't. I want to be out of here. You know I bloody hate hospitals." Gokudera was getting more annoyed.

That was good. At least an annoyed Gokudera was a Gokudera that Yamamoto could recognize.

"I know, kid. But you're staying until you get better," Lancia wasn't going to give in.

"I _am_ well. I'm fine. This is nothing." Gokudera assured in his croaky voice.

Spanner and Lancia only looked at him, unconvinced.

Gokudera frowned, "Don't look at me like that. I _said_ I'm fine – isn't that supposed to be a good thing? You don't have to waste our budget on stupid medical bills, I'm perfectly fine."

The two Dynamite members remained silent. It was obvious they were not going to budge, and Gokudera, having known both of them for so long, understood this immediately.

"You know what? Fuck you. Fuck both of you. This is retarded," Still getting no actual response from his gang members, the silvernette growled. "Go away. If you're gonna keep looking at me like that, get out. I don't want your goddamn pity."

Lancia, looking like he expected this, simply nodded, ruffled Gokudera's hair once more, and left. Spanner shrugged, telling Gokudera he would return to visit after he picked up Shouichi, and followed Lancia out of the ER as well. The only person left standing there was Yamamoto, who had not moved an inch or uttered a single word ever since he caught sight of Gokudera.

Gokudera glanced at him, "Haven't you looked at me enough, baseball idiot?"

Yamamoto felt himself release a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It was a relief to hear Gokudera call him 'baseball idiot' once again. It showed Yamamoto that at least some part of Gokudera was still the same. But Yamamoto knew better than to expect all of the Gokudera he fell in love with to return. Gokudera could never be the same. Not after what he'd been through.

Spanner and Lancia seemed to have known exactly what to say to Gokudera. They didn't mention the assault, didn't ask him for the details of the event, and didn't reopen any mental wounds that had been inflicted onto him. They didn't mention Takumi's name. They didn't tell Gokudera they were on the verge of murdering the man. They didn't try to tell Gokudera that 'everything is going to be alright' – and, apparently, Gokudera didn't need to hear it.

Yamamoto did not have the same casual smoothness Lancia and Spanner managed. His face, for one, had probably already betrayed him and had shown Gokudera the horror he felt at seeing Gokudera's state. Yamamoto took a seat beside the bed and tried not to meet the silvernette's eyes – but he was right, Gokudera did see the expression, and he did understand it for what it was.

"Don't look so awful, idiot, everything's fine," Gokudera flicked at Yamamoto's forehead with his free hand.

Yamamoto grabbed the hand, "Stop saying that."

"What?" Gokudera raised the un-stitched eyebrow.

"Stop acting like you're okay. You don't have to do that in front of me," Yamamoto gripped his hands tighter.

"Tch, moron. I _am_ fine. I am perfectly-" Gokudera's eyes met Yamamoto's, and he paused. Somehow, those dark chocolate eyes seemed to be able to look through him. When Yamamoto talked to him, it was like he wasn't only talking to Gokudera, but he was also seeing the young, little Hayato who was scared of the smell of alcohol and sound of breaking bottles – the little Hayato who cowered under the bed with hands covering both ears when his father came looking for him. The same little Hayato who hopelessly reached out for help when there was no one there.

There was no way Yamamoto could've known that, though. Gokudera had thought of telling him once, but they were interrupted before he got the chance. Yet, still, every time Gokudera looked into Yamamoto's eyes, he could've sworn Yamamoto saw right through him to his core. And at this moment it both terrified and settled Gokudera at the same time.

Clearly, Yamamoto wasn't buying the 'I'm okay' act. But, of course, Gokudera knew nobody did. "What do you want me to say, then? Huh, idiot? Do you want me to tell you all the things he did to me? How painful it was? How I felt like he was tearing me in half? How many times he hit me?"

Yamamoto shook his head, gripping Gokudera's hand, but the silvernette went on.

"How many times he fucked me? In how many positions? But I guess I can't answer that because even I don't fucking remember. Or do you want me to describe the taste of his cock when he shoved it into my mouth?"

"Gokudera-"

The continuous beep of Gokudera' pulse on the electrocardiogram was noticeably getting faster.

"He strangled me so I would take him deeper – do you want to know about that too? I choked on him, see, so he hit me. Again and again. Then he said he would punish me. So he fucked me. For the – who knows – tenth? Twentieth time? Even more?"

"Stop, Gokudera."

"Apparently I wasn't screaming loud enough. So he brought out his cigarette, lit it up until it was all glowing red and hot, and then he-"

"_Gokudera, shut up._" Yamamoto had raised his voice without intending to. He also did not realize he had clutched onto Gokudera's wrist so tightly his hand was turning white from lack of circulation.

Gokudera chuckled – an awful, bitter sound in his sandpaper throat. He whistled, "Chill."

"Why do you do that? Talking like that..." Yamamoto didn't understand. _Doesn't it hurt? Digging salted fingers into your own wounds?_

Gokudera shrugged uncaringly, "Just thought you wanted to know. Because idiots like you seem to think that _talking_ about that shit would make it any better. As if it would make the bruises go away. As if it would hurt any less. As if talking about it would magically remove it from history, like all of it never happened."

The beeping of the electrocardiogram was quite rapid now. Gokudera finally noticed it and yanked the sensor off from his index finger. The jaggy lines on the monitor went still and horizontal.

"Let go of my wrist." Gokudera ordered, frowning.

Yamamoto suddenly remembered the rope burns on those slim wrists and let go of his iron-grip immediately, a guilty look on his face. Gokudera didn't bother to tell Yamamoto that it didn't hurt, because he couldn't feel them anyway – his wrists, hands, feet, and most of his limbs had felt numb ever since he woke up. Gokudera clicked his tongue and rubbed his fingers over the red burns, stretching his hand out and fisting it to get the blood running again. Still, he couldn't feel much.

"I'm sorry," Yamamoto said, his eyes staring at the cigarette burn on Gokudera's palm, stretched out before him.

"No big deal. I'm fine." Gokudera didn't glance in his direction. "It's okay, I'm-"

"No." Yamamoto interrupted him. "It's not okay. It is not okay, Gokudera. Nothing about this is okay."

"What-" Gokudera was taken by surprise by Yamamoto's darkened expression. It intrigued him enough to keep him quiet and listen to what Yamamoto had to say.

Yamamoto looked up into Gokudera's eyes, completely serious. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry for not being there. I'm sorry I didn't come through for you."

Gokudera averted his gaze. There Yamamoto went again, seeing through him to the young, scared little child Gokudera had come to hate for existing – for still existing after all this time.

Yamamoto took Gokudera's hand into his clasp. Those hands were as warm as they always had been, and the familiarity evoked an aching in Gokudera's chest. "I will never forgive myself for letting this happen to you."

"...'s not your goddamn fault," Gokudera muttered, unable to look at Yamamoto. "Stop making it such a big fucking deal-"

"You didn't deserve that, Gokudera," Yamamoto continued as though he hadn't heard a word Gokudera had said. "You don't deserve any of it. Things like that – horrible things like that should never have happened to you. You didn't do anything wrong – you were a complete victim. There was absolutely no reason for it, whatsoever. Because it shouldn't have happened. Someone should've been there. Someone should've stopped him. And I'm so sorry that I wasn't that 'someone' for you. I _should_ have been. I wish I had been. I screwed up. I'm sorry."

Gokudera's head was turned away from Yamamoto completely. He didn't want to hear this – whilst at the same time, he was deeply aware that he needed to. The child within him needed to; the child who still did not understand why terrible things kept happening to him – why terrible things never stopped happening to him.

"You did everything you could. You are sick. You were very weak. It was not your fault that you couldn't stop him. You tried – I know you tried. I know you tried so hard. And I am so sorry, Gokudera. So, so sorry I didn't make it. So sorry I didn't know. So sorry I didn't come..."

When Gokudera was very young, his father – his strong, brave father – would chase away monsters of the night, whilst his beautiful mother kissed him a sweet dream. Dreams of warmth and laughter and days spent at the beach bathing in bright sunshine and swimming around in pools of melted chocolate with an endless cheerful piano melody playing in the background. Gokudera did not know when his father turned into the monster himself, his drunken laughter chased away only by Bianchi's disgusting midnight snacks and courageous sneak-outs and epic stories of heroes battling dragons and conquering lands. When Bianchi left, the monster got scarier. Gokudera had no one but himself to rely on – and he turned to violence, shedding blood and shattering glass to make him forget. He wore the red scarf, and he got real good, but never good enough to stop the monster. More often than not, his nights were haunted with nightmares of empty bottles and smell of vomit. The few good dreams he had – once used to be so idealistic and full of life – were now simply of Bianchi's smile as she left, and of his mother's hair.

But recently, someone new had been able to chase his monster away – albeit temporarily, but it was better than nothing – someone who was warmer and had a smile brighter than the sun. Whose eyes were akin to dark pools of molten chocolate. Whose laughter was joyfully melodic. Who filled Gokudera's nights with dreams of laughing in shallow seas, driving through winds, and rolling around in soft beds which smelled like shampoo.

He was the personification of everything Gokudera's childhood dream stood for. Gokudera was sure that if that person belonged to him, completely and fully, he would be invincible. No monster – not even his father – would be able to touch him.

But Yamamoto never did come through.

And Gokudera didn't know whether it was too late.

Because Gokudera knew a different monster now; a creepier, freakier one that lingered in shadows with echoes of hysterical laughter that kept commanding for a louder scream. And Gokudera knew that even Yamamoto – wonderful, warm and shining Yamamoto – could not chase this one away.

The damage had already been done. A vampire once invited could always return. A glass once shattered would never look the same. And Yamamoto was-

"...I was too late, wasn't I?" Yamamoto whispered, as though he could read Gokudera's mind. Maybe he really could. Gokudera just didn't know anymore. He wondered whether he even cared.

"I know you'd hate me for saying this, but..." Yamamoto pressed a kiss to the back of Gokudera's hand. Gokudera couldn't feel it – and because he wasn't looking, he didn't know it happened. "...I thought that, somehow, I was saving you from something."

_You were. But it wasn't enough. _Gokudera could feel his eyes prickling, and his nose burning. _And now it'll never be enough._

"I guess I was being arrogant, trying to be your hero and all that," Yamamoto murmured bitterly as he gingerly traced Gokudera's rope burn, "But in the end, I was only stupid and greedy and selfish. I took things for granted. I threw away so many chances with you."

Yamamoto paused, remembering the look on Hibari's face when he left the hotel. "...I think I threw away a lot of my chances with him, too. Maybe there isn't any left. Not wanting to hurt you, not wanting to hurt him – but I guess I ended up really hurting both of you, didn't I?"

Gokudera waited for the painful stab he always felt when Yamamoto mentioned Hibari. But it never came. All he felt was... numb. And he wasn't sure whether this should terrify him.

But, Gokudera knew he must obviously be hurting somewhere, because tears stung his eyes. Somewhere inside, somewhere Gokudera no longer felt, there was a place in him that was aching so hard his hands were unconsciously shaking.

Yamamoto grabbed hold of one firmly as he continued, "I know it's too late to save you now – and I know you might never have wanted to be saved, or protected, or recued in the first place. You always took pride in standing on your own feet. But if you'd let me..."

If Yamamoto didn't know Gokudera was crying before, he did now. Gokduera's face was still determinedly turned away from Yamamoto, but his shoulders were shuddering with hitched breaths. And as always, it tugged violently at Yamamoto's heartstrings, making him a boneless lump.

As he was about to word the request, Yamamoto felt like a completely pathetic, hypocritical jerk. _How could I even ask for such a privilege? Of such a chance? When all I've been doing up until now – even just recently – had done nothing but cause him pain? When all I've been doing had done nothing but hurt the two people I cared most about. The two people I loved. The two people I still love – perhaps even more so, now._

_How could I ask him this when the last thing I did was making love to another man? When I know damn well I still love both him and Gokudera all the same..._

But because Yamamoto did love Gokudera, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did not propose this request. Even if it did make him a terrible hypocrite and a downright, textbook, asshole.

"If you'd let me..." Yamamoto pressed another fervent kiss onto Gokudera's palm, "...I would- I promise I would – no, I _swear_ – I will try my best to... _fix_ you."

Fix. Gokudera thought it was an odd choice of words, but it seemed to fit perfectly into their situation. Because a toppled vase could not be 'saved' or 'rescued' or 'protected' anymore – what was broken could only be 'fixed'. And Gokudera was broken. And he would never be the same. But that was fine with Yamamoto. Gokudera, on the other hand, did not know how he felt about it.

Was it even possible? Was Gokudera setting himself up for failure – knowing Yamamoto may well be the one who would crush him down in the future? The risk was too great. And as long as Hibari was there, so was the possibility of Gokudera's downfall.

But then again, Gokudera was already such a wreck that it no longer mattered to him. He was torn up to bits and pieces anyway, what harm could a few more rips really do?

_After what I've been through, there's hardly anything else you can destroy._

Memories of the past night suddenly flooded into him. Gokudera wasn't expecting it. He was still awake. It was morning, not night. This shouldn't be happening – not yet. Daytime was supposed to be his safe hiding place. This wasn't supposed to happen. But the visions and voices came like a tidal wave, and Gokudera was powerless to stop them.

"_-yeah, scream for me, bitch. Louder! I can't fucking hear you! LOUDER! Or do I have to fuck you harder you bloody slut? Eh?"_

Gokudera remembered himself bleeding. There was so much blood. He remembered his throat ripping apart as his vocal chords failed to screech out.

"_Suck it in, long and deep, baby. And if I feel even the tiniest graze of those teeth of yours I swear I'll pull 'em all out! You got that, Haya-chan? And don't you dare choke! I SAID you're not allowed to choke! Are you bloody retarded? There! Open up your throat, right here! You feel that, where I'm squeezing? STOP CHOKING, I SAID! Fucking useless whore..."_

Gokudera remembered gasping for air when that disgusting thing was stuffed down his throat. His neck was clamped tight with two strong hands that closed up his airways. He remembered tears leaking from his eyes when he thought he was dying, his vision being filled with dark spots as his hands desperately scrambled in last attempt.

"_OhhhgodYES, that was a good one... see, Haya-chan? You can do it if you really put in the effort. Now, seeing as you enjoyed that so damn much, well, shall we try doing it somewhere more – sensitive? Heh..."_

"_-What's that? I can't hear you! Oh, I see, your greedy little ass wants more, doesn't it? Doesn't it, you cheap fucking whore? Well, well, I guess I'll be nice... I heard these things are real popular in Nami right now. Tonfas, I think they're called. Now aren't you a lucky boy, Hayato-kun? You'll be trying them out for yourself! So you better scream loudly this time or I swear I'll shove BOTH of the damn things AND my dick in if I have to... you hear me? Alright, then scream, you fucking bitch, SCREAM! LOUDER!"_

Gokudera had not told Yamamoto everything in his earlier description of the assault. He wasn't completely honest with what he did tell, either. Because Gokudera did, in fact, remember how many times he'd been raped. And he did not think he'd ever forget. How could he possibly? Seventeen. Takumi precisely chose that number because it was either the age Gokudera was at or was about to turn. When he informed Gokudera of this, he had spent the next drill of torture singing the most twisted version of 'Happy Birthday' as he thrusted madly into Gokudera and forced him to sing along as loudly as he could manage, choking him when he paused to gasp in pain, and making him start all over again. Gokudera didn't tell Yamamoto this. He didn't tell him how he would never be able to sing that song again, either. And he didn't tell him the cigarette burn was not only on his palm. There were more – a lot more – beneath his shirt. And because of them, Gokudera probably wouldn't smoke again in his life. Gokudera didn't tell Yamamoto any of this – especially not how he would never be able to look at tonfas again without getting nightmares.

The irony of it all was so apparent that it wasn't even funny: Tonfas and Hibari. The relation between the two was simply natural, and thus, completely sickening. Gokudera supposed that now, even more so than before, he would never be able to stand the head prefect of Nami High. It would be difficult to look at him without wincing or breaking down in a fit of terrors knowing what he carried around. Knowing what those things were capable of.

"Gokudera...!" Yamamoto's voice sliced through the imagery, bringing the silvernette back to reality. And Gokudera finally noticed that his entire body was trembling as though he was going through a small-scale seizure. He was also breathing frightfully hard.

'_What's wrong, Haya-chan? Aw, tired already? Well, guess what, this is only the fucking beginning so you better-'_

"Get out." Gokudera suddenly demanded.

"What?" Yamamoto was confused.

'_Ohhh motherfuck-hell- FUCK Haya-chan, you're so damn tight...'_

"Get. Out. Idiot." Gokudera grounded the words out as he struggled to sit up. "_Now_."

Yamamoto was concerned, "Gokudera, what's wrong?"

"_Yamamoto!_ Get _out!_" Gokudera was yelling now with his croaked voice, before he added in a thin whisper, "..._please_."

'_Holy shit, fuckFUCK I'm coming! Better swallow it all down, slut! Argh- FUCK!'_

Yamamoto didn't go anywhere, but Gokudera couldn't hold it any longer. Desperately and almost frantically, he reached out for the closest empty plastic bag in sight. Then, shocking Yamamoto to the bones, Gokudera threw up violently, his body shuddering all the way through his spine. The sounds his throat made were disturbing. It sounded like a very hoarse, very dry scream – but so much worse. Yamamoto feared that Gokudera's voice box was going to splurge out along with the vomit at the rate he was going.

What was worse was that the process visibly tormented Gokudera. Yamamoto could see it on his face, the way his back quivered, the small drops of tears that leaked out of the corner of his eyes. Thus, even though Yamamoto was scared of what was happening to Gokudera, he still calmly stood up and rubbed Gokudera's back. Gently, caringly – exactly the way he always did everything.

A nurse came around to help, but Yamamoto stood firm on his ground. One hand held up Gokudera's hair away from his face, whilst the other continued to rub Gokudera's trembling back. Gokudera was sweating and panting in exhaustion by the time the first long round was over.

"Fuck... don't look..." Gokudera gasped, his eyes red and teary. "I'm _fine_..."

"I know," Yamamoto nodded, going along with whatever Gokudera wanted to hear. "I'm not looking."

But Yamamoto was looking. And Gokudera knew it, too.

Then, the second round came along – and before Yamamoto knew it, the third and then the fourth as well. The tiny breaks in between gave Gokudera no room to regain his breath, and by the time it was all over and the nurse had cleared away the mess and Yamamoto had wiped off Gokudera's face and lips, Gokudera had fallen asleep, drops of tears still wet on his eyelashes.

Later, the doctor came in along with Lancia and Spanner to explain complex PTSD and Rape Trauma Syndrome and how Gokudera's behavior is 'completely expected' as a 'controlled' response from a rape victim. The doctor then talked about how to handle it correctly. Yamamoto listened in close, all the while not letting go of Gokudera's hand.

_I promise... I swear, this time I won't fail you._

_..._

But Yamamoto had been making a lot of promises lately, and he wasn't becoming known for keeping any of them.

* * *

**A/N: **Let's not beat around the bush... this update was way too slow. And maybe not even worth the wait – because this one was filled with stack-loads of depressing dumplings. :/ WHERE IS THE FLUFF? WHERE DID IT ALL GO?

As a fellow fic-reader, I empathize completely with your frustrations, and I do apologize. But please understand that I only update chapters when I believe they are worth reading. I refuse to feed you guys crap I didn't give my full effort into. I do try to make up for lost time with longer chapters. It's just... harder to write parts like this. Parts where the lovely characters aren't flirting and teasing and making eyes at each other... I really do miss writing that. (Although it was rather satisfying to have Kyouya smack Kaien in the face once in a while.)

But hey, guess what, FLUFF WILL RETURN! YAOI WILL RETURN! Soon. I promise ;)

I will also confess right now to being a bit of a brat. So here's how it works:

Few reviews = SLOW updates.

And by slow, I mean REAL SLOW. Take this update, for instance. Because a reviewed melonnaise is an inspired melonnaise, and an inspired melonnaise can write a chapter in 4 days – an uninspired melonnaise, however, writes a paragraph a week. So if you don't want that again, REVIEW! :D You will also get lots of crazy mad love from me if you do.

Until next time my lovelies! ;D *cuddles*


	21. Flaws and All

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, PTSD.

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

**3 days later – Namimori Hospital, 3.23am**

Gokudera was screaming.

It was the fifth time of the night. It happened at least four times every night since Gokudera had been here, but Yamamoto never got used to it. Yamamoto didn't think he'd ever get used to the sound of Gokudera screaming. Especially not the way Gokudera did it now. A scream forced from a throat that clearly had suffered excess abuse was gut-wrenching. The screams didn't last long. They weren't even loud. But every time, they managed to snap Yamamoto out of his sleep and he would come to Gokudera's side at once.

"Gokudera," Yamamoto murmured, shaking him. He had long since made it his duty to wake Gokudera from these night terrors.

Gokudera thrashed in his bed, shivering, trembling. He had stopped screaming by now, but he was still whimpering incomprehensible words of fear. Sometimes, Yamamoto could make out a few of them. 'Stop'. 'Enough'. 'Can't'. 'Help.'... It broke Yamamoto to know that these were probably the words Gokudera kept saying during the time everything happened. Occasionally, Gokudera would slip out the heartbreaking 'please'. Yamamoto could barely stand it. Then, even less frequently, Gokudera would say something else that would very nearly kill the baseball ace.

"Yama... Yamamoto..." There it was. His name. It reminded Yamamoto once again that he hadn't been there for Gokudera when he most needed him. As if any reminders were necessary. As if Yamamoto didn't beat himself up over it every minute of the day he spent at the hospital, seeing how Gokudera was – what the assault did to him. Sure, the silvernette acted like nothing was wrong, that he was 'fine', that everything was. But Yamamoto saw, too many times, how Gokudera didn't respond when his name was called or when someone nudged him. He saw the look in Gokudera's eyes right before he threw up. Yamamoto noticed the extremely long time Gokudera spent in the bathroom, and found Gokudera in there, intently scrubbing his hands – for more than two hours.

"Shh... Gokudera, I'm here," Yamamoto whispered, sitting down on the bed and pulling the shuddering Gokudera into his arms. Gokudera automatically clung to Yamamoto's shirt even though his eyes were still closed. Yamamoto folded him in close, holding him through the little jerks of his body, smoothing his hair and murmuring soft words to him until, eventually, Gokudera calmed down.

Gokudera leaned into Yamamoto's neck, taking in his scent. "...Yamamoto."

"Yes," Yamamoto breathed, rubbing circles on the back of Gokudera's neck with his thumb. "You're awake?"

"Mm," Gokudera sighed, clinging tighter to him. "You're here."

"I am," Yamamoto nodded. "It's still early. Think you can sleep again?"

"Don't wanna," Gokudera shook his head, "Sleeping sucks." Then, he opened his eyes and looked up at Yamamoto with those watery emerald eyes that seemed to deepen in the darkness. "...you smell like soap."

Yamamoto chuckled softly, pulling Gokudera closer to him.

Gokudera blinked, "Do that again."

"Hm?" Yamamoto hummed.

"That little laugh," Gokudera mumbled. "Just now. You did it. Do it again."

Without even realizing, Yamamoto had already chuckled again. Then, he looked at Gokudera questioningly, "Why?"

"Nothing." Gokudera said quickly. Too quickly. He seemed to realise it too as he covered for it by hastily continuing, "I'm fine, by the way. You can go sleep. I'm okay. Really."

_There we go with that again. _Yamamoto didn't move away an inch. Instead, he whispered, "You want me to let go?"

Gokudera didn't reply. Yamamoto had learnt that this was Gokudera's new way of reluctantly submitting to him. Yamamoto didn't understand Gokudera's need to pretend that everything was alright when it obviously wasn't. But he didn't mind. Gokudera had always been the type who hid away his true feelings, his pain. It didn't matter. Yamamoto would be here, either way.

Gokudera knew Yamamoto was smiling, even in the dark, and felt embarrassed by it. "...it's only 'cause it's cold. Idiot."

"Mmm," Yamamoto pressed a long, hard kiss onto Gokudera's forehead. In moments like these, where Gokudera was vulnerable, Yamamoto just wanted to hold him forever. It fascinated Yamamoto that even after everything he'd been through, Gokudera still managed to push on. Even when in a wheelchair, he still managed to cause all sorts of trouble. Even in a hospital gown, he still managed to scare Skull shitless. And even after a horrible nightmare, Gokudera still managed to look Yamamoto straight in the eyes, scowl like a cat, and tell him that he's an idiot. And that was the Gokudera that Yamamoto loved – his moody, 'pissy', rebellious, strong, broken, beautiful Gokudera.

Yamamoto knew he shouldn't, but he wanted to. And he really felt like kicking himself where it hurt for wanting to. Kiss Gokudera, that is.

Oh yes, he wanted to kiss Gokudera. So much. Especially when Gokudera was all curled up next to him on the bed like he was. Yamamoto wanted to kiss him to show him that he was there for him, to show Gokudera how much he meant to him, and that Yamamoto loved him. Because Yamamoto didn't think Gokudera knew. And it was hard because Gokudera was so close and smelled so good without the tobacco scent obscuring everything for once. Gokudera smelled like something lovely that Yamamoto couldn't quite place a finger on – a mixed scent of classic wooden pianos, the wind at the sea, the air after a storm.

Then on one of these nights Gokudera would be snuggled up to Yamamoto, lips right there, eyes closed, pressed up against him and just so damn tempting Yamamoto almost couldn't stop himself. But then, Yamamoto would see the rope marks, the cigarette burn, the bruises... and he knew he couldn't do it. Yamamoto knew better than anyone that it was the last thing Gokudera needed right now, and so, stuck to gentle kisses on Gokudera's hand, forehead, eyelids, shoulders... anywhere that wouldn't hurt and wouldn't trigger any memories from that horrible night.

"Baseball idiot," Gokudera tugged his shirt.

"Hm?" Yamamoto looked down into two half-lidded emerald eyes.

"I'm sleepy," Gokudera murmured.

Yamamoto smiled, trying not to notice Gokudera's parted lips, "Then sleep."

Gokudera looked hesitant. Afraid. "Don't want to."

"You don't have to," Yamamoto said easily. Gokudera usually falls asleep sooner or later in his arms anyways, so Yamamoto didn't have to pressure Gokudera into getting rest.

A moment later, Gokudera tugged him again. "Yamamoto."

"Hm?"

Gokudera paused, looking conflicted. Yamamoto noticed, and kissed the top of Gokudera's head reassuringly. Of course, a large part of it was because Yamamoto wanted to, but he had a feeling it comforted Gokudera too. And apparently, Yamamoto was right, because Gokudera relaxed enough to continue speaking. "Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Yamamoto answered immediately. Then, as it sunk into him what Gokudera was really asking, he added with a warm smile. "I'll be here when you wake up, too."

Gokudera went silent at that. It took a while before he finally decided to close his eyes and rest against Yamamoto once again. In a small voice, Gokudera mumbled, "...then I guess I'll sleep."

And there Gokudera went again, being so damn adorable it hurt Yamamoto to restrain himself. But restrain Yamamoto did, as he tucked himself and Gokudera under the blankets, wrapped his arms around him and let him fall asleep. The nurse was probably going to scold him in the morning for being on the patient's bed again, but Yamamoto didn't care. Gokudera wanted him there, _he_ wanted to be there, and that was that.

"Goodnight, Gokudera."

"...'night, baseball idiot."

* * *

**Namimori High School, 4.19pm**

Three days past, still no sign of Yamamoto. He didn't turn up for school, didn't call, didn't text. Hell, the idiot didn't even show up for baseball practice – now that was something.

Hibari was, for the second time, lost. And frustrated. And hurt. And, to be honest, rather bloody sick of it all. Hibari wasn't even trying to find out where Yamamoto was and what he was doing. He had done enough of that for Dino, and if Yamamoto thought Hibari was going to run around chasing after him, he had another thing coming. The Skylark was pissed off, and would remain so until he got a good whack at Yamamoto's face as soon as it showed up. It wasn't as though he was being unreasonable, either. Hibari knew he had moments when he could be... difficult. He lashed out in crowds. He broke into fights when he felt like it. He threw water in his father's fiancé's face. He 'bit people to death' for forgetting their school ties. What was currently going on, however, wasn't one of Hibari's 'moments'. This was completely, undoubtedly, justified anger.

It didn't help either that Hibari had to live in the school's boarding house. Being surrounded by 'crowding, brainless herbivores' twenty-four hours of the day was possibly the last thing the Skylark needed. But what choice did Hibari have? After Kaien slapped him sober and kicked him out of the house to 'reconsider his unacceptable behavior', there really wasn't any other place the Skylark had to go. Hibari would be damned to return to that bastard of a father. Plus, the teachers here adored – _feared _– him enough to give him extra freedom. And the dorms needed more discipline anyways. Things could be worse.

Or so Hibari tried to convince himself when a certain blonde Italian attempted, for the sixth time in three days, to visit him. By the seventh attempt, the Skylark had decided that, no, living in a restricted space filled with yelling monkeys was not the last thing Hibari needed – Dino Cavallone was.

And, damn, was the Bucking Bronco persistent.

_What sort of name is that, anyway? 'Bucking Bronco'. _Hibari frowned. _Sounds like a bloody porn star. Couldn't his famiglia have come up with a better nickname for their future boss?_

_ ...pisses me off. _Everything seemed to piss Hibari off, nowadays.

"Kyou-san, aren't you going to go down and meet him?" Kusakabe asked, watching Dino from the dorm window. "He's been waiting for you for two hours, at least."

"No," Hibari answered simply, focusing on feeding Hibird pieces of cereal bar.

Kusakabe didn't push the subject any further. His young master had been through a lot recently and Kusakabe knew it was only a matter of time before Hibari cracked under the pressure. Other people may see the Skylark as a character of strength, but Kusakabe had raised Hibari ever since he was a child. He remembered the way the seven year old Hibari would stand in silence with his head down when being told off by his father, clenched fists hidden beside his body. Then right afterwards, when Kaien was out of sight, the young Hibari would go into his training room and beat the punching bag until it burst. Kusakabe often found Hibari later crouching amongst the spilt sand with a red nose and red eyes, trying not to cry – and even then, the Skylark would try to hide away from him.

He was pretty sure the young master didn't realise it, but Kusakabe had always thought that Hibari's need to appear invincible rooted back to how Kaien raised him to be. Kusakabe also noticed that the Hibari father and son couple dealt with pain in an unnervingly similar manner. They don't talk about it, they don't show it, and they won't share it. Both Kaien and Kyouya preferred the unhealthy method of blocking out the problem before eventually forcing themselves to swallow it down – alone.

Dino Cavallone was the one who managed to – somewhat miraculously – make Hibari open up. And it was better for a while, but then – SNAP – the Italian disappeared. A year later, Yamamoto Takeshi came along and also appeared to have relieved some of the pain. And now – SNAP – he was also nowhere to be seen. Kusakabe was rather tired of these young men disappointing his young master. He was tired of seeing 'Kyou-san' disappointed. _If only either of them would just get their act together..._

"Kusakabe," Hibari was calling him.

"Yes, sir?"

"Your phone."

"Oh," Kusakabe did not notice that his cell phone had been flashing. He'd always kept it on complete silent mode around Hibari – not even on vibrate. "Excuse me, Kyou-san. I'll take the call outside."

"Hn," Hibari hummed his response, still not diverting his attention away from Hibird. Kusakabe saw it as the Skylark's way of not landing his attention on Dino. Not that he would ever, _ever_, mention that to Hibari.

Kusakabe exited the room, politely shutting the door behind him. He took the call.

"Hello?"

[Kusakabe Tetsuya? Hibari Kyouya's second in command?]

"Yes, speaking."

[I am Romario, Dino Cavallone's right hand man. My boss is sitting outside of your master's dormitory.]

"Ah. How can I help you?"

[I would like to propose a plan to resolve this problematic preposition between our respective bosses...]

* * *

**Namimori High School, 4.27pm**

Sawada Tsunayoshi was merely trying to be helpful. Ever since he heard about Gokudera's assault, Tsuna had been paying visits at the hospital every day. It was a good thing that Yamamoto was practically living there with Gokudera or else Tsuna would have freaked out every time he coincidentally ran into one of the Dynamite hospital gatherings. And since both Gokudera and Yamamoto were missing school, Tsuna had decided to make a good use of himself by bringing them catch-up work. Admittedly, it was Reborn-sensei who put the idea into his head, and Tsuna wasn't convinced Gokudera and Yamamoto were interested in doing the work anyway. Nevertheless, it was a good thought – and as Tsuna's mother often told him, it was the thought that counted.

Tsuna did not, however, anticipate that all of this 'good thinking' could lead him to this awkward, life-threatening situation. That is, standing outside of Hibari Kyouya's dorm room. And it frightened Tsuna to his bones because said Hibari Kyouya did not at all look like he was in a good mood as he loomed over the younger boy with dark, eagle-like eyes staring him down.

_Hiee-! I should've suspected something when I saw Kusakabe-san down the hall! Why didn't Reborn warn me that the room I was supposed to get the catch-up papers from is Hibari-san's room?_

"Sawada Tsunayoshi," Hibari had always had the intimidating skill of remembering every student's full name. "Why are you here?"

Tsuna swallowed, trying – and most likely failing – not to look like he just saw a ghost. "Ah- H-Hibari-san, R-Reborn-sensei told me to come get some catch-up papers for my absent classmates."

_Oh, who am I kidding? Of course Reborn didn't warn me. I should've recognized that evil smirk of his when he told me the room number... that bastard._

"Hn. Come in then." Hibari nodded. It wasn't unusual for students to come ask him for papers, it was just that usually they would come to his office, not his bedroom. Apparently, it was some sort of strategy Reborn came up with to discourage students from skipping school – as most would prefer enduring a day of calculus than having to meet the head prefect of Namimori High.

"Oh. Um. Okay," Tsuna agreed, awkwardly stepping inside the room and not moving any further than that into Hibari's private space. As Tsuna self-consciously wondered where he was supposed to place his hands and where to look as to not come across as offensive, a thought popped into his head. "Oh, right, right! Hibari-san, there was this blonde foreign man downstairs who told me to tell you – I mean, if I saw you, to tell you – that he'll keep waiting until he sees you. His name is... um, something with a D. David? Daniel?"

"_Dino_." Hibari didn't realize he had snapped out the name until he saw Tsuna's stunned face.

"Ah, I'm sorry... I've never been very good with these sorts of things," Tsuna smiled sheepishly.

The younger boy's apologetic expression made Hibari feel somewhat uncomfortable. Yes, Hibari knew people were scared of him – it was only natural for herbivores to fear their natural predator – but Hibari didn't usually lash out at people for such petty matters. The Skylark almost felt... guilty. He didn't like it.

_This is your fault, Yamamoto Takeshi. You did this._

_ And you, too, Dino Cavallone. You're to blame, too._

_ ...and I guess, a bit of it is my fault, too. My fault for failing. My fault for falling._

"Sawada," Hibari began.

"Ah! Yes?"

"This absent classmate of yours..." Hibari couldn't stop himself from asking, "Does it happen to be Yamamoto Takeshi?"

"Oh, yes." Tsuna nodded, "Oh, and Gokudera-kun too. Gokudera Hayato."

_Gokudera Hayato._

Hibari immediately frowned. _Gokudera Hayato?_

Feeling as though everything in his mind clicked at once, Hibari snatched out the list of absent students from his desk and hastily scanned the pages. Sure enough, for the past three days that Yamamoto was absent, Gokudera Hayato was absent as well.

_Of course._ _How could I have missed this? _Hibari was so frustrated at himself his nails were ripping the papers at the sides. He kept glaring at the names, and the inked letters seemed to be staring back at him, mocking him. He must've been too focused on the fact that Yamamoto was gone and too intent on hiding away from Dino that he skipped over every other name on the list. _Damn. Damndamndamndamndamndamn-_

"Uh... Hibari-san?" Tsuna nervously murmured, watching Hibari's fisting hands and all of a sudden realizing he might've just said something really, really stupid. _Oh, how could I have been so dumb? I totally forgot Yamamoto was still with Hibari-san..._

"Where are they?" Hibari's voice was a growl of a panther. A very, very pissed-off panther.

"Oh, um, they're both at the Namimori Hospital," Tsuna automatically responded, before he continued quickly, "But- uh, Hibari-san you should know, um, Gokudera-kun he- ah! Hibari-san!"

SLAM.

Tsuna was too late. Hibari had already disappeared through the door, leaving Tsuna there, dumbfounded, and wondering what the hell just happened. It wasn't the first time Tsuna decided he really needed to think more before he spoke.

_Oh god, what have I just done..._

* * *

**Namimori Hospital, 5.18pm**

Gokudera had a love-hate relationship with his wheelchair. Because it was still a struggle to walk due to the explicit pain on his backside, it was easier for Gokudera to move around with a wheelchair. The nurse even found him a special cushion to lessen the ache. But Gokudera despised feeling helpless, and whilst rolling around at hyper speed on the chair was pretty badass, Gokudera would much rather be able to walk on his own feet.

Sometimes, though, it wasn't so bad to let others take care of him for a little while – especially when cool stuff happened. Like when Spanner worked some mechanical magic on Gokudera's wheelchair and made it able to stand and hop around on only its back wheels. The nurse went insane over the little rebel hopping around all over the place – both Gokudera and Spanner found it hilarious.

Although he would never admit it, Gokudera did quite enjoy having people fuss around trying to please him. M.M. managed to sneak in Gokudera's cat, Uri, to see him. Skull, Spanner, Yamamoto and even Lancia all got on wheelchairs and had a big race with Gokudera down the hall – surprisingly, Yamamoto won. Lal gave Bianchi a call, and Gokudera recieved a long, much-needed conversation with his sister. Mukuro came along with Ken and Chikusa with the coolest, newest video games. Tsuna visited him daily and talked to him about their childhood.

Gokudera had never realized this many people cared about him, and unknowingly, the cold, gaping hole inside his chest was warming up just a little.

Even Yamamoto Tsuyoshi came in to sneak Gokudera some sushi. It was so thoughtful and kind of him that Gokudera envied Yamamoto for having such a wonderful dad. But Gokudera could never hold negative feelings against Yamamoto for long. Not when Yamamoto had been nothing but by his side during all of this. Not when Yamamoto was smiling – so warm and carefree Gokudera couldn't help but feel his own smile tugging at his lips. Not when Yamamoto pressed gentle kisses on Gokudera's skin. Not when Yamamoto's face was the first one he saw whenever he woke up from a nightmare, and not when it was in Yamamoto's arms that he could fall back to sleep. Not when Yamamoto was – simply – Yamamoto.

"Gokudera," Yamamoto's voice was a soft murmur near his ears, "Are you asleep?"

They were walking in the outdoor garden of Namimori Hospital. Or, rather, Yamamoto was pushing Gokudera along in his wheelchair in the garden. The silvernette occasionally allowed Yamamoto, and only Yamamoto, to do that. Gokudera never thought of himself as an 'outdoorsy' sort of person, but recently, he had come to enjoy being out in the open, breathing in fresh air and letting the warm evening sunlight shower over his skin. It came as no surprise to Gokudera why Yamamoto loved running around outside so much.

_It's the same feeling I get when I'm around you._

"Nah," Gokudera sighed, "Just closing my eyes for a while."

Yamamoto pushed Gokudera into the shade before walking around the wheelchair to crouch before him, "Are you thinking of something?"

_Yes. You. Somehow, my thoughts always find their way back to you. Or back to- _Gokudera winced, trying to distract his mind from trailing down that lane. He had finally found some peace today, and he wasn't about to let himself ruin it. The night already tormented him plenty; he didn't need his daytime slowly opened his eyes, those emerald orbs falling on Yamamoto and shining beneath the shade. "Nothing in particular."

Yamamoto couldn't help but notice how beautiful Gokudera looked, with tiny rays of light and shadows of leaves on his face, emerald eyes gazing down at him. Naturally, Yamamoto took hold of Gokudera's hand and smiled, "Aw, really? Not even thinking of me?"

"Idiot. Get over yourself," Gokudera scoffed, though he couldn't help returning the smile. It was impossible. Gokudera attempted to blow it off by rolling his eyes.

Yamamoto laughed. It was becoming one of Gokudera's most favorite noises, and he had to close his eyes and let it sink in. When Yamamoto laughed, Gokudera was momentarily able to forget about the scars that littered his body – a quick escape that never lasted nearly long enough. Yamamoto had seen him go through his 'episodes' of night terrors, trembling, panic attacks, obsessive cleanings, and vomiting. But Gokudera hadn't shown him the worst of it – and he was determined never to do so. Yamamoto was as bright as sunlight and Gokudera, having lived most of his life in the dark, would never want to tamper with that. Yamamoto didn't need to know what haunted Gokudera's nightmares, or what dirtied his skin so much he felt the need to wash it for hours, or what went through his mind during each 'episode' – what Gokudera was reminded of. Yamamoto didn't need to know any of it.

If Yamamoto was trying to 'fix' him, then Gokudera would, in turn, protect Yamamoto from the ugly, ugly memories that lurked within him. Someone as goodhearted as Yamamoto should never get into the slightest contact with that dark, murky ooze.

Yamamoto was yawning. Gokudera reopened his eyes, "Sleepy?"

"Mm, just a little," Yamamoto rested his chin on Gokudera's knees, droopy eyes looking up at him like a puppy.

Gokudera squeezed Yamamoto's hand, mumbling, "...sorry."

"Hm? For what?"

"I keep waking you up every night."

"Gokudera," Yamamoto's eyes were suddenly very serious, "You don't ever have to apologize for me wanting to be with you. I'm here because I want to be here. I don't care how many nights of sleep I miss. I'll miss a hundred, a thousand more if I have to."

Gokudera wanted to believe him. And for a minute he almost did. But then, something caught him at the corner of his eyes – or, to be precise, some_one_. It was someone that reminded Gokudera that for all the time that Yamamoto was here, he still didn't belong to him; that whilst Yamamoto was the only person who meant this much to Gokudera, he wasn't the only one for Yamamoto; that Yamamoto would easily miss a thousand nights of sleep for another.

That 'someone' went by the name of Hibari Kyouya.

"Gokudera?" Yamamoto noticed the change in Gokudera's expression, "What's the matter? What are you staring-"

Yamamoto trailed off when he saw Hibari. The prefect was standing by a tree, far enough not to be easily found, but close enough to get a clear view of him and Gokudera. Yamamoto's heart fell to the ground.

Hibari was having a hurricane of emotions whacking through him, but he was doing a pretty damn good job of covering it all up. His eyes, however, were freezing and burning at the same time – like dry ice. If looks could kill, Yamamoto would be long dead. Buried and rotting in his coffin – or burned to ashes and floating amidst the sea. Yamamoto was quite sure Hibari didn't mind which way his corpse went at this point.

Nobody knew how long Hibari had been standing there, but once the Skylark realize he was seen, he stepped out from behind the tree and walked straight up to him, taking strong, firm strides towards his lover and the person his lover was having an affair with.

"Hibari..." Yamamoto's voice was weak. He stood up, half-blocking Gokudera from the prefect, and felt wobbly at the knees. He wasn't expecting this sort of confrontation, and he sure as hell wasn't ready for it; especially not in front of Gokudera.

"We need to talk," Hibari's voice was tight. He glanced down at Gokudera in the wheelchair briefly, then back at Yamamoto. "In private."

Yamamoto was at a loss. He just stood there, his mind completely blanking out on him, as he desperately tried to find the best way to get through with this. Yes, he knew he needed to give Hibari some sort of explanation. A lot of explanation. But at the same time, he didn't want to give Gokudera any wrong ideas by going off with Hibari. And he didn't want to have the conversation with Hibari in front of Gokudera, either. That would be horrible – in so many ways.

So Yamamoto just stood there like an idiot, looking at the floor as Hibari glared daggers at him.

Unexpectedly, it was Gokudera who broke the stalemate.

"Go," was one word Gokudera said, his emerald eyes not looking at anyone in particular.

Yamamoto immediately turned to Gokudera in alarm, "But, Gokudera-"

"_Go_." Gokudera did look at him this time, and those deep green eyes were hard as stone. "I'm _fine_. Go."

Yamamoto had learnt in the past few days that Gokudera saying 'I'm fine' actually meant the complete opposite. But, right now, the baseball player did not have any other choice. If he stayed, both Gokudera and Hibari would've murdered him with their eyes. So with one last backward glance at Gokudera, who avoided his gaze, Yamamoto nodded at Hibari and they walked away – tense air lingering between them like a fog.

Gokudera was left in his wheelchair, watching their backs go and wondering what he had ever done to deserve this. And as the terrible monsters began crawling back into his mind, Gokudera stopped thinking altogether.

* * *

_"Yamamoto. Will you break things off with him if I give you one more chance?"_

_ "..."_

"_Say it. Promise you'll break it off for good."_

_ "...I promise."_

_ "Hn... I'll forgive you just this once."_

Hibari felt like a fool. Maybe he was a fool. Or maybe he only fell for a fool.

Either way, it didn't matter, because he felt awful. Not only for what Yamamoto did to him, but for what they were doing to Gokudera. By now, Hibari had found out about what happened to Gokudera, and it would be wrong to say that he felt no sympathy towards the silvernette sitting in the wheelchair, a bruise covering half his face and his neck. In fact, Hibari almost felt _guilty_ for dragging Yamamoto away from him. And he hated it. He didn't want to feel guilty – he didn't _need_ to feel guilty. Hibari did nothing to deserve the guilt – _he_ was the one who was cheated on. He was the one lied to. He was the one Yamamoto broke his promise to.

It wasn't fair. Just because something terrible happened to Gokudera didn't mean Hibari's feelings didn't matter. It didn't make his pain any less real. But as the Skylark stood there, staring at Yamamoto's sad face, Hibari just felt so _stupid_. Gokudera was _raped_, and here Hibari was, crying foul and pointing fingers at Yamamoto for being there for a rape victim.

_What is wrong with me?_

..._maybe this is why people keep leaving. _Hibari was bitter. He was hurting and he couldn't show any of it because it would just make him feel so _selfish_. And it wasn't fair. Hibari was allowed to be hurt. Hibari was allowed to be furious. His anger was well-justified – right up until a nurse informed him that Gokudera was in the psychiatric ward for Rape Trauma Syndrome. It was like someone poured ice water right over his head.

Yamamoto and Hibari stood there behind the hospital building for a long time, in complete silence – Hibari looking at Yamamoto and Yamamoto looking at the floor.

"So," Hibari was the first to break conversation, "You've got nothing to say?"

Yamamoto began to say something, but Hibari cut him off. "And don't even think about apologizing, Yamamoto Takeshi, because I am sick of it. I'm sick of hearing your pathetic excuses. I'm sick of that guilty face. I'm just... sick of this. I'm sick of feeling like this."

Yamamoto looked torn, "Hibari, I'm so sorr-"

"_Don't_." Hibari spoke sharply, "I just told you not to apologize. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to forgive you. You can't belittle what you've done with stupid apologies. It won't work."

"...I know," Yamamoto nodded – which took Hibari by surprise. Yamamoto went on, "You told me I had one more chance and I went and blew it all up. I know I can't ask you to forgive me."

And there Yamamoto went, making the guilt land on Hibari once again. If Yamamoto had acted all idiotic and cried and begged for forgiveness like last time it would have been so much easier. But no, Yamamoto just had to turn up all understanding and looking like his heart was breaking.

It really wasn't fair. Hibari was the one whose heart was bursting. He turned away, determined to keep his cool, "You could've at least told me what was going on. What did you think I was going to do, Yamamoto? Come to the hospital and beat Gokudera Hayato up? Snatch you away from him?"

Yamamoto stared at Hibari, dumbfounded. He had to admit part of him did imagine that would be something Hibari would've done – and then it occurred to Yamamoto that by simply having that thought, he wasn't giving Hibari any respect. And Yamamoto knew Hibari better than that. By god, he knew Hibari so much better than that.

"I wasn't thinking," Yamamoto confessed quietly, "I... I just couldn't leave him."

"But you could leave me," Hibari stated matter-of-factly, and then felt an unexpected clench in his chest. An unexpectedly painful clench.

Yamamoto's eyes widened, "No. _No._ Oh god, Hibari, it's not like that..."

"That's exactly what it is," and with every sentence he spoke, a dagger ripped at Hibari's heart, "You could leave me, but you couldn't leave him. That makes it pretty clear what's going on."

"No, Hibari," Yamamoto shook his head, "I didn't mean it that way. I didn't-"

"What did you mean, then?" Hibari snapped back at him, "You left me after a night like that, and then you disappear for three days. And I get that you were with him, I can't blame you for that. But couldn't you have at least texted me? It's not that hard, isn't it? If you had respected me enough – if you _cared_ enough, you would've done it. But you didn't."

"But what was I supposed to _say_?" Yamamoto shot back, "I _just_ promised you I wouldn't come back to him. But I did. And I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I know you hate doing things over the phone."

"Then you should also know that I hate being treated like a fool – and that was how you treated me," Hibari's eyes were growing colder.

Yamamoto rolled in his lips, "I didn't have a choice-"

"_No_." Hibari immediately glared at him, "Don't you _dare_ say you didn't have a choice. The choice was yours, and you chose to sneak out of the room and never see my face again."

"Hibari-"

"You chose _him_ over _me_," Hibari's voice cracked at this point, and he mentally kicked himself for it.

Yamamoto took a deep breath, "What happened to Gokudera, I-"

"I _know_ what happened to him," Hibari interrupted. Of course he knew – the selfish feeling was eating him up on the inside. However, that didn't help the ache get better. Hibari looked Yamamoto straight in the eye, "But even if it didn't happen, you can't say you wouldn't go back to him anyway."

Yamamoto stared at him, looking pained.

"Can you?" Hibari pressed.

Yamamoto fell silent and averted his gaze.

"...thought so," Hibari began moving away, but Yamamoto grabbed his hand.

"Wait," Yamamoto's voice was pleading, "_Kyouya_."

Hibari bit his lip, turning around to face Yamamoto one more time. "I need time to think. _You_ need to figure out what the hell you want to do with your life. Until then, I don't want to see your face."

"Kyouya..." Yamamoto had that look on his face again, that sorrowful look that always managed to change Hibari's mind. But this time, the Skylark wasn't going to stand it. He wasn't even going to look at it.

Hibari shook Yamamoto's hand off him and walked away, taking long, definite strides – head and eyes looking straight forward.

...it wasn't until Hibari turned a corner and was out of Yamamoto's sight that he let a single tear slip down his cheek.

* * *

**Namimori Hospital, 5.59pm**

It took Yamamoto five calls of his name and three nudges before Gokudera acknowledged his presence. Then, another minute until the look of alarm disappeared from the silvernette's face.

"You're back," Gokudera sounded relieved – too relieved, as though Yamamoto had just pulled him out of water. Gokudera glanced at the Hospital's clock tower, "That took some time."

"...sorry," Yamamoto murmured weakly. It seemed to be the only thing he could say nowadays, and even he was getting sick hearing himself say it. Yamamoto sat down on a bench opposite Gokudera's wheelchair and sighed heavily.

"It didn't go well?" Gokudera raised an eyebrow, watching Yamamoto's worn-out face.

"No," Yamamoto lifted a hand to his forehead, "No."

Gokudera nodded slowly, "...and you didn't break things off with him, either."

"No," Yamamoto said again. "But we're taking... a break."

"A 'break', huh," Gokudera repeated, his eyes looking at somewhere far away, "For how long?"

"I don't know," Yamamoto shook his head before he paused, and looked up at Gokudera, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this. You have enough to deal with as it is."

"Oh, no, it's fine," Gokudera waved it off almost automatically, his eyes going blank, "It'd be nice to know how long I'll have you until you go running back to him."

"Hey," Yamamoto took Gokudera's hand into his clasp, "Who said I'll leave you?"

"Who said you wouldn't?" Gokudera questioned in return.

Yamamoto squeezed his hand, "I'm here with you right now, not him. Doesn't that mean something?"

Gokudera didn't answer that one. It wasn't a first – recently, Gokudera often didn't reply to a lot of things. However, Yamamoto was quite certain this one was intentional. There was a look in those emerald eyes of his that let Yamamoto know that Gokudera's awareness wasn't diminished at this moment.

Yamamoto lifted Gokudera's hand to his lips and kissed the back of it gently, "You wanna go back inside?"

"Yeah, sure," Gokudera shrugged.

The wheeling trip up the building back into Gokudera's private hospital room was silent. Yamamoto felt that Gokudera wasn't in the mood to talk, so he didn't initiate conversation. Gokudera seemed to be immersed in deep thought, and it wasn't a look of fear he had on his face. Gokudera just looked like Gokudera, thinking. Thus, Yamamoto let him be.

Once they got to the room, Gokudera climbed onto his bed, and Yamamoto went to pour them both a glass of water. Yamamoto offered the glass to Gokudera, but he didn't take it. Instead, those emerald eyes just kept looking at him, searching him.

"What is it?" Yamamoto wanted to know.

Gokudera narrowed his eyes and landed the bomb, "You fucked him, didn't you?"

CRASH.

The glass slipped right from Yamamoto's hand.

_What._

"Wha-?" Yamamoto was gaping. _What?_

Gokudera briefly glanced at the broken glass, the back at Yamamoto, "Hibari Kyouya – the school's head prefect. You fucked him."

"What...?" Yamamoto repeated. His head had gone completely white in shock. All he could think of was how empty Gokudera's eyes were. Gokudera's expression was so lifeless at this point he might as well had been a statue.

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" Gokudera sighed, "You fucked him. Slept with him. Did the dirty. Made love. Whatever you wanna call it."

Gokudera looked absolutely unaffected by his own words and it made Yamamoto feel sick to his gut. This was the worst possible thing that could happen at this moment – and how Gokudera was handling all of it with such indifference was horrifying. It was as though Gokudera's soul – what Yamamoto had loved most about him – had been sucked out of his body, ripped from its shell. All that is left is an emotionless, unfeeling, talking doll.

If this was what rape had done to Gokudera, Yamamoto swore he would send Takumi to the deepest depths of hell with his own bare hands.

"I thought the love bite on your neck was mine," Gokudera continued in a detached way. "But when that prefect showed up today, I figured it wasn't. And then I just... knew."

Gokudera shrugged. Then, he grabbed the other glass of water from Yamamoto's hand and drank it down as though they were having a completely normal conversation.

"Gokudera..." Yamamoto breathed his name, wishing it would bring back some sort of emotion – any emotion – back into those emerald eyes. Anything would do. Gokudera could punch Yamamoto, throw the glass at him, scream, yell, cry at him – anything. Anything would be better than having to look into those dead eyes.

"Don't look so sad. I expected it to hurt much more, but it actually doesn't hurt at all. Isn't that strange?" Gokudera had a lopsided smile on his face which didn't touch his eyes, "Maybe when you've been through hell and back, nothing really hurts anymore? That must be it, because I feel fine."

"Gokudera," Yamamoto shook his head.

"I feel fine," Gokudera's smile slowly melted off his face, "...I feel fine."

There was silence. Yamamoto was waiting for Gokudera to come back to life, and Gokudera was waiting to be brought back to life. They were waiting for something that wasn't returning anytime soon.

As Gokudera played with his fingers absentmindedly, a thought occurred to him. "Now that I think about it, I don't remember you having that kiss mark before I was brought here."

Yamamoto froze. _No. Not this. He can't know about this._

Gokudera saw the look on Yamamoto's face, and his eyes became stony. "Tell me, Yamamoto-"

_Please. Don't let him figure this out. Don't let him realize... _

"-did it happen on that same night?"

Gokudera's eyes were intense and unblinking.

Yamamoto didn't want to tell him. He didn't want Gokudera to know how much wrong he had committed, how undeserving of Gokudera he was. He didn't want Gokudera to find out the unforgivable reason why he wasn't there for Gokudera that night. But most of all, he didn't want to lose Gokudera – and that was almost certain to happen if Gokudera knew.

_He won't forgive me. He will never forgive me. Not for this._

But despite all that, Yamamoto owed Gokudera the truth. After everything he had put Gokudera through, he owed Gokudera any and all answers the silvernette wanted. And if that meant Yamamoto would lose him, then there was nothing he could say. He did this to himself – all the better if the pain killed him from the inside – Yamamoto deserved it.

The greedy fisherman who grabbed two fish instead of one ended up losing both. And in his desperation to grasp for them the fisherman lost balance, fell off his boat, and broke his neck.

"_Yes_," Yamamoto's voice was barely above a whisper. He couldn't meet Gokudera's eyes as he stood there, waiting for Gokudera to tell him to get the hell out – waiting for Gokudera to tell him they were over. It felt as though Gokudera held a gun to Yamamoto's skull, ready to blow out his brains, ready to end his life with one move.

But to Yamamoto's utter shock, Gokudera started chuckling. At first, Yamamoto thought he was imagining things – the fear of losing Gokudera must have made him delusional. But when Yamamoto looked up on the bed, Gokudera really was sitting there, chuckling in his throat, a bitter grin on his face.

"Well, isn't that bloody brilliant," Gokudera's low chuckle gradually increased into forced-hysterical-laughter, "The irony is fantastic. Just _fantastic, _isn't it?"

Yamamoto stared at Gokudera, speechless. He really could not decipher what Gokudera found so amusing.

"Who would've thought?" Gokudera was still laughing hysterically, "On a night that I was _raped_, you were _fucking _him. And all the time that I was looking for you, you weren't even _thinking_ of me. But hey, at least we were both bloody getting some, eh?"

In the past three days, Yamamoto wanted badly for Gokudera to be able to laugh again – and now that he was actually doing it, Yamamoto just wanted to clasp a hand over Gokudera's mouth to make him stop.

"Oh, oh, and you know what the funniest part is?" Gokudera's lips stretched across his face in a dreadful smile that clashed harshly with the glare of his eyes, "If that bastard didn't _force_ his cock up my ass, you would _still_ be _fucking_ Hibari Kyouya mindless."

"_Gokudera_," Yamamoto gripped Gokudera's wrist, but Gokudera kept on laughing.

"It's _because_ I'm raped that you're even here at all! Won't you just look at that? Brilliant! Why, you know what they say: every dark cloud has a silver lining. Well guess what, I think I just landed myself a motherfucking _rainbow_!"

"Gokudera, stop that-"

"Man, I probably even _owe_ that lowlife a favor for bringing you back to me. Oh, _oh_! I know – maybe next time you think about going back to that prefect, I should just run off to Takumi to get my ass rammed in again! How about that? Bloody _genius,_ isn't it? Who would've thought being _raped _could be so-"

BANG.

Yamamoto slammed his fist into the wall, right beside Gokudera's head. His jaw was clenched and his chocolate eyes were dark. Yamamoto inhaled deeply, trying to control his anger. _How the hell could he talk about it like that? How the hell could he think of himself that way? _The fact that Gokudera could easily spout self-degrading nonsense and make a joke out of his own suffering made Yamamoto's blood boil with fury.

By this time, Gokudera had shut up, laughter completely silenced, all amusement snapped out of him. Then, almost immediately after, Gokudera crumbled right in front of Yamamoto's eyes. It was the most terrible thing Yamamoto had ever witnessed. At first, Gokudera's lips trembled, then his shoulders hunched up, his eyes squeezed shut, and then he brought his arms to his face as he finally broke down. Gokudera's frail, abused body weakly curled in on itself as the silvernette sobbed helplessly into his own hands.

Yamamoto felt blood drain out of his heart. "Oh god, Gokudera..."

Gokudera cried like a child. His entire form shook and heaved with hitching breaths and choked sobs, and his fingers quivered uncontrollably. Yamamoto had never seen Gokudera break down to this extent – and he couldn't stand watching it happen. Yamamoto climbed onto the bed and pulled Gokudera's powerless body into his arms, holding him as close as physically possible. Gokudera clung to him like a drowning man and continued sobbing, loud and hopeless, with not a single ounce of energy left in him to hold back any longer.

_I'm an idiot. _Yamamoto thought to himself. _How could I not have known that Gokudera had been holding back all of this? _The emotionless mask Gokudera put up was only a barrier to protect himself from experiencing this torment. _I was being careless. I should've seen this coming._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shock you," Yamamoto smoothed Gokudera's hair with one hand, rubbing his arm soothingly with another. "I'm just... I can't believe you would think like that."

"I-It's o-okay," Gokudera's breath hitched, "You c-can go back to Hi-Hibari. J-just because s-something like that h-happened, doesn't mean you h-have to be here..."

Yamamoto frowned, "No, Gokudera, you don't get it. I'm not here because I feel 'responsible'. I'm here because I want to be here. I want to be here for you. I want to see you get better. I want to help you. I want to be _with_ you."

Gokudera cried harder, "That night, I k-kept looking for you... but you-"

"I'm sorry," Yamamoto kissed the top of Gokudera's head, "I was with him, I know. I'm sorry. If I had known – if I could rewind it all and change things then I would've taken you home that day, and I would've stayed with you until your fever got better, and none of this would've happened. But I can't change what I've done wrong, Gokudera. And no matter how many times I say sorry I won't ever be able to make it up to you. But still, I'm selfish enough to want to be with you now."

"You'll end up going b-back to him," Gokudera clutched onto Yamamoto's shoulders, "And I c-can't- I can't take any-bloody-more. I-If you leave one more time..."

"I'm not going anywhere," Yamamoto murmured, wiping the tears from Gokudera's face softly with his thumb.

"You can't promise me that!" Gokudera burst out. He hit Yamamoto's chest with his fist, "You s-suck at promises, Yamamoto. You suck, you suck, you _suck_..."

Yamamoto gently tucked Gokudera's arms away and instead, held Gokudera closer and pressed a warm kiss onto his cheek. "If you want me to leave right now, I'll go. I don't want to, but I'll go. Honestly, it might be better for you, too."

"No," Gokudera paused, taking a deeper breath, "Stay. I'll be the goddamn judge to what's better for me."

"But I can't promise-"

"Next time you leave, I'll beat you up and shut you out for good. You'll never see me again. If you come back, I'll get Dynamite to deal with you," Gokudera said, face serious, teary eyes determined.

"Gokudera..." Yamamoto's eyes softened, "...why are you so convinced I'll leave?"

"_Because_," Gokudera began, "I'm a wreck. A total bloody _wreck_. And you might think you can 'fix' me and all, but I'll never be complete enough for you. You can't keep wasting your bright, wonderful life on a screw-up like me. I'd just keep dragging you down. Eventually, you'll have to leave."

Gokudera said that with such belief in his words that Yamamoto wanted to sigh in exasperation. _How can he not understand? Even after all this time, how can he still not realize that I love him more for all of his flaws? How can he not see that I want him for everything that he is? _

"Hayato," Yamamoto began, causing Gokudera's eyes to flicker up at him in surprise at use of his name.

_I'm not trying to fix you so that you'll be a perfect, flawless doll. I'm only trying to heal your fresh wounds. Your scars are part of who you are and I will never want to change that. Don't you know this? And do you know why?_

"What?" Gokudera sniffed, meeting Yamamoto's eyes in confusion.

_Of course not – you don't know. You have no clue. Because you seem to be accustomed to the idea that nobody cares about you – that nobody could ever love you. I don't know who ever implanted that awful idea into your head, but it's not true._

_And you need to know that._

Yamamoto smiled warmly at Gokudera, just as he did the first time they met. Even with deeper bruises, more scars, and even more damage to his already broken self, Gokudera was still so beautiful.

_You said I suck at keeping promises. Well, I swore I would try to fix you. This is me, finally keeping to at least one of my promises._

Yamamoto looked straight into those emerald eyes to make sure Gokudera understood every single word he said – and to make sure he knew that Yamamoto spoke it with complete and utter honesty.

Dark chocolate brown eyes seemed to deepen as they melted into opposing emerald pools – completely mesmerized by the forever-present shattered look hidden behind them. Perhaps they have been captivated by them ever since the first time they met.

Rain started pouring outside of the window, but all Gokudera could hear was Yamamoto's voice.

"Hayato, I love you."

* * *

**A/N:** First L-bomb of this fic! I'd say it took them long enough :D Actually, this chapter was meant to be longer – containing more content and moving on further with the plot – but I guess I got carried away a bit and drabbled on too much again :P

**This update took 2 weeks. I'm proving a point here.** You guys reviewed more, so you got your update faster :D It's a fair deal, don't you think? Oh, and all of you especially have **Phoenix of Starlight** – who probably showered me with a total of over 5000 words of review – to thank for this update being two weeks earlier than the early-date!

Thank you for all your continuous support! Me lubs you all :D *cuddles*


	22. Trigger

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, PTSD.

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

**Namimori Hospital, 6.38pm**

'_It's your fault you're worth nothing. You hear me, brat? You're fucking worthless.' _

'_That's right. You can't go anywhere because nobody wants you. Right, Hayato?' _

'_Nobody wants a life-ruining retard like you around.'_

...

"Hayato, I love you."

Gokudera stared at Yamamoto in utter confusion, at first not even understanding the words that left Yamamoto's lips. To him, they were just noises. Or words in a foreign language he did not understand. Then, as his brain eventually processed the information, his expression changed to shock. Then disbelief.

Gokudera shook his head slowly, eyeing Yamamoto with a suspicious look – like a cat afraid to creep out from beneath a table. "Yamamoto, I swear to god, if you're lying-"

"You think I am?" Yamamoto tucked a strand of Gokudera's hair behind his ear, "Look at me, Hayato. Do you really think I would lie about this?"

"You've lied about a lot of things." Gokudera mumbled doubtfully. However, even Gokudera himself couldn't deny that those brown eyes of Yamamoto's that intently met his own were filled with nothing but truth. And part of him knew that. But the other part of him – the larger, louder part – just refused to understand it.

_You... love me?_

_ You love me. _The words sounded alien in his mind. His entire being was not adjusted to hear this. He wasn't brought up to think that he would ever hear it. ..._you love me._

_ But- how? Why? Why would you love me? Why would you love someone like me?_

The information just wouldn't – couldn't – sit with Gokudera.

"You-" Gokudera was still lost for words, "...you can't love me."

Yamamoto took Gokudera's hand in his own, "You won't let me?"

"No, it's not that. It's just- there's no way-" Gokudera was staring at their intertwining hands, his voice coming out in a faint whisper. "It's not possible."

Yamamoto held his hand tighter, "Why do you think that?"

"Because-" Gokudera found himself gripping onto Yamamoto as well, "Because-"

_Because I'm fucked up. Because I'm worthless._

_ Because you're so damn perfect, and I don't deserve you._

_ Because nobody does. Because nobody loves me._

_ Not even my own dad._

Yamamoto embraced him, and it wasn't until then that Gokudera realized he had been shuddering. Yamamoto's lips were beside Gokudera's ears as he murmured, "I love you."

Gokudera's heart dropped. "...no."

"I love you."

"Shut up. You don't-"

"I love you."

"Stop it. Just-"

"Gokudera Hayato, I love you," Yamamoto cupped the silvernette's cheeks and made Gokudera look into his eyes. Now, more than ever, Gokudera felt like he was drowning in those dark brown eyes. Ironic, how Gokudera always felt like he lived life trying to breathe underwater – and Yamamoto had been fresh air. But now, Yamamoto was the one to suck Gokudera deep into a whirlpool.

And maybe Gokudera didn't mind drowning.

"Please," Yamamoto ran his thumb across Gokudera's cheek, "Believe me."

_I'm not asking for much. I'm not asking you to trust me, or to return my feelings. I just need you to believe me._

Gokudera couldn't figure out what he was feeling. One moment, he would be confused. In the next moment, he would feel tears building up behind his eyes and was on the verge of another breakdown. Then, he would feel bitter and untrusting. And just seconds later, he would be ready to hand Yamamoto his life. Emotions clashed within the silvernette, and the turmoil left him with a sickeningly sweet aftertaste.

Emerald eyes flickered back and forth as thoughts ran through Gokudera's head, but none of it seemed to make sense. So in the end, Gokudera stopped trying to comprehend them altogether – and just allowed himself to _feel_.

Gokudera lifted his hand to join Yamamoto's on his cheek. Then, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, slowly.

Yamamoto smelled like rain. A rain in summer. A summer breeze. The warmth of sunshine after a shower. And all of a sudden, Gokudera wasn't conflicted or confused anymore.

_I love this guy._

_ I knew it since before. Wasn't this what it was all about? This whole thing with me and him and Hibari – why he wouldn't let me go when I backed away; why I wouldn't let him leave when he was ready to. I fought to have him by my side, making all those deals, compromising and giving him time..._

_ Wasn't it all for this?_

Gokudera's eyes opened, shining as they looked upon Yamamoto. He whispered, "...you love me?"

"Yes," Yamamoto smiled, speaking without hesitation, his chocolate brown eyes melting. "So much."

_He loves me. You love me._

For a split second Gokudera thought he felt his heart breaking. But then, he realized it was actually his heart springing to life. Gokudera shook his head, his face splitting into a helpless smile, eyes tearing up but never leaving Yamamoto's. "...you're such an idiot."

Yamamoto chuckled amiably, and Gokudera joined him. And before they knew it, they were laughing together like two children rolling around on a beach, feet submerged in ocean waves, bodies bathing under the warm sun, hair blowing in the sea wind. As the laughter began to die down, Yamamoto's eyes met Gokudera's once more. Then, at the perfect moment – perfect timing, perfect breath, perfect glimpse of their eyes, perfect curve of their smiles – Yamamoto kissed him.

It was one of those kisses one didn't think about – it just happened. Lips touched lips as though drawn by an invisible magnetic attraction, meeting each other airily, swiftly, barely a brush. Yamamoto leaned back and kissed both of Gokudera's cheeks briefly before capturing his lips once again. This time, firmer, longer – emotions finally put into play.

"Mm," Gokudera sighed blissfully, boneless in Yamamoto's arms. One hand loosely hung on the other's shoulders, fingertips grazing along the back of Yamamoto's head and neck.

Yamamoto hummed pleasantly on Gokudera's lips, kissing him time and time again as though he could never get enough of him. With every kiss, Yamamoto grew a little more fervent, and subconsciously, unthinkingly – almost naturally – he gently pressed Gokudera down onto his back on the hospital bed.

At first, Gokudera was still too mesmerized in the spell of Yamamoto's kisses to notice. But as his body recognized the weight and heat on top of it, as well as the pressure of his back being pushed into the mattress, Gokudera immediately broke the kiss with a loud gasp. His emerald eyes flew wide open, and he pushed Yamamoto away with full strength, his arms outstretched to keep as much distance between them as possible.

_No. Nononononono- Help. Somebody help. Help. Stop -!_

Gokudera's heart was thumping madly in his chest, his breath coming out in short little hysterical hitches. His body was tense, and his hands shook uncontrollably.

Yamamoto, suddenly realizing what he had done, instantly got off from the top of Gokudera's body. "Oh, crap- I'm sorry, Gokudera, I'm so sorry..."

"No," Gokudera murmured, hugging himself into a ball, "I'm okay. I'm okay. Just- give me a moment."

Yamamoto shook his head, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I never should've-"

"I'm _fine_," Gokudera's voice was suddenly very sharp, although his nails were still digging into the flesh of his own arms.

Yamamoto sat at the end of the bed and observed Gokudera's crumbling form, "Maybe I should get the nurse-"

"No!" Gokudera actually sprang up into a sitting position this time, green eyes narrowed dangerously at Yamamoto. "I told you I'm _fine_. It was just a minor... freak out. I freaked out a little bit. That's all."

Yamamoto rolled in his lips. He really did not know how to handle Gokudera when the silvernette acted like this. On one hand, he didn't want to upset Gokudera, but on the other hand, Gokudera needed to know that he, in fact, was _not_ 'fine'. "Gokudera, it's okay. It's normal for you to be uncomfortable with being physically-"

"_Don't _make a big deal out of this, Yamamoto. If I say I'm fine, then I'm bloody well fine."

"But, Gokudera, you don't have to pretend-"

"Everything is _okay_. I'm okay. How many times do I have to say this?"

"Just now-"

"I freaked out, alright? It happens. But I'm fine. Don't you dare start acting all crazy cautious around me."

Yamamoto was still deeply unconvinced, "Gokudera-"

Everything happened very quickly after that. The moment Gokudera saw that Yamamoto wasn't going to believe him the silvernette grabbed Yamamoto by the collar, pulled him close, and threw himself over him, knees on both sides of Yamamoto's legs, arms wound around his neck. Then, Gokudera ferociously slanted his lips against Yamamoto's, kissing him hungrily, urgently, tongue and teeth in full action as he arched his petite body seductively against Yamamoto's torso.

Yamamoto was taken aback by the sudden intensity of it all, momentarily frozen in his spot. But Gokudera's lips quickly managed to coax his own into moving and responding, and from then on, everything elevated at an alarming speed. By the time Yamamoto caught his breath again, he was already groaning as Gokudera grinded against him, mouths battling in a heated kiss.

"Wait," Despite being as turned-on as he was, Yamamoto couldn't help but notice that everything was happening all too fast and all too soon. Gokudera was coming on way too strong. And as much as the animalistic, masculine side of his brain enjoyed the entire event, Yamamoto knew there was something not quite right. "Wait, Gokudera-"

Gokudera only bit his neck harshly as a reply, waist still rocking ardently against Yamamoto.

Yamamoto's entire body jolted with desire, but he tried his best to control himself, "Gokudera-! S-slow down..."

"Don't wanna," Gokudera murmured against his skin, seductively licking the spot he just bit. As he pressed his hips against Yamamoto, a satisfied smirk played along his lips. "Looks like you don't wanna slow down, either..."

"Shit." Yamamoto swore under his breath, having an all-out war with his inner self. "Gokudera, I'm serious. Stop."

"Mm?" Gokudera was too busy kissing the back of Yamamoto's ear to listen.

_Holy... _Yamamoto cursed everything good within him that forced him not to take advantage of the beautiful, lustful, horny creature unwinding on top of him. But at the same time, he clung onto those parts of him as desperately as he could. Yamamoto took one final deep breath, and then – feeling as though he was kicking himself hard where it hurt – gently but firmly pushed Gokudera off him and slid himself off the bed.

Gokudera blinked at him, utterly confused. Yamamoto thought Gokudera looked rather adorable sitting there panting softly with his green eyes wide and clueless. Gokudera frowned a little, "...you were serious about stopping?"

Yamamoto exhaled, still attempting to cool down. "Yeah."

Gokudera ran his hand through his hair, sighing. "What sort of moron pushes away a chance like that?"

"I guess I really am an idiot."

"You are." Gokudera mumbled, "One moment you tell me you love me, then the next, you push me away. It's always the same confusion with you, isn't it? One day you love me, the next day, you love Hibari Kyouya."

"That's not the same thing."

"It isn't, huh." Gokudera felt like he was supposed to be more pissed-off than he actually was, but the anger just wasn't there. Instead, Gokudera just felt sort of... sober. The silvernette sighed once again.

Yamamoto walked over to the side of the bed and gently pecked Gokudera's forehead, before moving down to nuzzle Gokudera's cheek and neck. "Don't make that face. You know why I stopped."

"...I do." And Gokudera did know. He knew Yamamoto too well and trusted him too much for his own good. But because of that, he could understand precisely why Yamamoto refused him.

_He wouldn't feel right taking advantage of me. And I won't blame him. Frankly, I'm not the most mentally stable person on earth right now. Even _I_ know that. Of course this baseball idiot would feel obligated to treat me 'right'._

_ ...and, honestly, I don't know how I would have reacted if he went along with it, either. I guess Yamamoto knew that, too._

_ Yamamoto stopped because he knew that I needed to. He knows me well enough to understand that I needed to stop, and he was good enough – and cared enough – to do it._

_Isn't that just like him?_

_Isn't that what drew me into him?_

Like a moth to a flame, a creature of the night was lured towards the light. Gokudera had been aware of this attraction from the beginning. _And even if you'll burn me when I get too close, I don't give a damn anymore._

Gokudera leaned into Yamamoto's neck, "...damn you and your stupid morals."

Yamamoto only chuckled softly.

* * *

**Namimori Hospital, 6.38pm**

Hibari Kyouya hated damaging public property. The idea of breaking the rules and destroying something which was meant to be shared by all just didn't sit well with him – this was why Hibari couldn't take his frustrations out on the Hospital's chairs or garbage bins – which was why, when Hibari found a group of color gang underlings smoking just outside of the hospital walls, the Skylark was given the perfect opportunity to release his pent-up fury.

BANG. BANG. BANG-

It wasn't often that Hibari would take on a large group all at once. It was too time consuming, and – like a classroom with too many students – Hibari often felt like he couldn't efficiently get to every individual. However, today, Hibari didn't care that it was a group of eight. He just wanted to hit something. Hit someone. Hit Yamamoto. Hit Gokudera. Hit Dino. Hit his father.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG-

Everything in his life was just wrong, wrong,_ wrong_. And after so many years living his life trying to be 'right', Hibari had enough of seeing everything he ever worked for get destroyed. It wasn't fair. The Skylark always worked the hardest, always followed all the rules, always got the best grades, always went to his extra classes, always did what his father told him to, always, always, always...

_I've had enough. What's the point of trying so hard?_

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG-

Hibari was just starting on finishing off his seventh opponent when Kusakabe appeared.

"Kyou-san," Kusakabe approached him carefully, resting a hand on the shoulder of Hibari – who was pummeling the poor boy to a coma. Kusakabe was the one who drove Hibari to the hospital in the first place, but it was still a wonder how his second-in-command always managed to locate him as though he had a personal GPS.

"They were smoking," Hibari reasoned simply, not stopping his actions.

"And you've punished them enough," Kusakabe squeezed Hibari's shoulders. "Come on, Kyou-san. It's late. The boarding house is waiting for you."

"Hn," Hibari smacked his tonfa on the delinquent's chin one last time before he dropped the guy to the floor. "Fine."

As they walked together quietly to the car park, Kusakabe began, "Kyou-san, may I ask what was the rush to the hospital?"

"Yamamoto Takeshi and Gokudera Hayato had been missing a lot of school," Hibari answered in a detached way, "Gokudera Hayato was sexually assaulted and is admitted here. Yamamoto Takeshi had been taking close care of him."

"The baseball ace?" Kusakabe raised a brow, "But I thought he was-"

Hibari glared at him, which Kusakabe knew as a signal of silence. Then, the Skylark looked straight ahead, allowing no emotion to touch his eyes, "Yes, he was intimate with me, as you were well aware. But things are different now."

Kusakabe immediately felt for his young master, "Kyou-san-"

"I don't want to discuss this any further," Hibari cut him off coldly. Kusakabe nodded, understanding.

When they arrived at the car park, Hibari could not see his car. Instead, there was another car there – a sleek, black sports car which looked excessively grand and expensive. The windows of the car were all blackened with a dark film. Hibari frowned, "Kusakabe, where's-"

"I'm very sorry Kyou-san," Kusakabe bowed his head. Standing beside him was another man, slightly taller, dressed fully in a neat black suit with a neat mustache and neat glasses.

"Who is-" Hibari's tonfas were suddenly stripped away from him by Kusakabe, "!"

The surprise of the event in addition to his previous physical exertion stunned Hibari. This was fortunate for Kusakabe and Romario, because the plan would never had run as smoothly if Hibari had been fully himself – with instincts as fast and sharp as any true predator. It was pure luck that everything the Skylark had gone through today had momentarily transformed him from a panther into a very stubborn house cat.

"My name is Romario," The man introduced himself. "Please, come with me, Kyouya-san."

"What? Who are y- oi!" Hibari immediately threw a punch the moment Romario grabbed his wrist, but Romario caught his punch in his palm – in the way that reminded him of a situation that happened before not so long ago. There were only so many people who could catch his punches like that.

_Oh, no. Not this. Not him. Not now._

"Please get into the car, Kyouya-san," Romario tried to usher Hibari towards the car, but the prefect was so uncooperative that Romario ended up having to pick up his petite form. Hibari had never felt so helpless, but he could do nothing to the older man. Romario was obviously incredibly skilled at physical combat – on a level that was different to the self-taught and semi-trained fighting that Hibari was used to.

"Let me- Kusakabe! What is going on?" Hibari glared at his second-in-command.

"I'm only doing this in your best interests, Kyou-san," Kusakabe said, and bowed politely once again.

Hibari wanted to yell at him. Who does Kusakabe think he is to disobey him like this? But before he could say anything else, Romario had already put the Skylark inside the car and shut the door. Hibari tried to reopen it, but found that it was locked from the outside. He thumped at the window once in frustration.

"You're always so stubborn, Kyouya."

Hibari snapped his head around at the voice and found himself face to face with the one man he least wanted to see at that moment. The Skylark narrowed his eyes, "Dino."

Dino smiled at him apologetically, "I'm sorry I had to do this. But you refused to see me, I had no other choice."

"I refused _because_ I didn't want to see you," Hibari crossed his arms. One quick glance around the car and Hibari could hear the words 'mafia' ringing in his head. The interior was practically all-black. The driver compartment was separated from the compartment he was sitting in with a dark screen that Hibari could bet was sound-proof.

"You're still angry at me," Dino noted.

"I'm tired of being angry." _At you. At him. At them. At everyone and everything. _

"But you are."

"Hn." Hibari had nothing to say to that. _I'm just... tired._

Dino moved closer, and Hibari didn't move away. There was no point in moving away, he knew Dino would eventually get to him in this closed-space. They were in a car, for god's sake. It would be fair to say that Hibari's choices for escape were limited.

"Your eyes are red," Dino observed quietly.

"Hn."

"...who hurt you?"

Not 'were you crying?', not 'why were you crying?', not 'are you hurt?'. Dino already had the answers to all those questions. _That's how well he knows me._

"No one," Hibari shrugged.

"Don't lie, Kyouya."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You never do when it hurts you."

"Shut up." Hibari turned away. He was sick of talking to Dino already. Hell, he was sick of being around Dino in general. And he was sick of trying to do anything about it.

Dino sighed. "Come here."

"What? No-!" Hibari struggled when Dino pulled him into his arms, but Hibari was tired, it had been a long day, and Dino had grown much stronger with all his mafia training. By the time Dino had tucked Hibari's arms safely behind his back and had folded him into his own arms, Hibari gave up struggling.

"That was easier than I expected," Dino commented. "Not that I mind."

"...do whatever you want. I don't care anymore."

"I'm not going to do anything other than hugging."

"If you're thinking this will comfort me-"

"No. I'm just scared you'll slip away."

"I can't. I'm locked in your car." Hibari stated matter-of-factly, mentally rolling his eyes.

"I know." Dino said, but he still would not release Hibari from his embrace. Dino's nose was buried into the back of his neck, and the warm breath from Dino's lips raised goose bumps along Hibari's arms.

The car began moving, and Hibari glanced at Dino accusingly. "You're kidnapping me."

"Yeah... I am," Dino admitted, tracing the tip of his nose down the back of Hibari's ear.

Hibari shivered, "How very mafia-like of you."

"Anything to get what I want," Dino said, holding him closer.

Hibari tried to ignore him, "...where are you taking me?"

"Guess," Dino said, nuzzling the crook of Hibari's neck.

"How would I know? And stop that."

Dino continued to nuzzle, "You do. You've been there before. With me."

Hibari had gone to many places with Dino, but somehow, only one place stuck out in his mind at this moment – and the Skylark knew deep inside that this was definitely where Dino was taking him. It was the place where they spent the most nights together, the place where Hibari finally confessed, the place where they first made love, the same place Hibari saw Dino last before he disappeared from his life.

The location was so filled with memories between the two of them, it was terrifying. And Hibari knew that was exactly why Dino would bring him there.

"You know, don't you?" Dino murmured. "You remember?"

Hibari remained silent, not wanting to give anything away – not wanting Dino to know that he never forgot. Not even for a day. "I don't want to remember."

Dino pressed his lips on the back of Hibari's neck, long and firm, the warmth scorching right down the Skylark's spine.

"You will."

* * *

**Dino's Vacation House, 10.41pm**

Hibari did remember – frustrating as it was. In fact, the Skylark remembered the place so well he even knew where to look for the wall-clock on reflex. Looking at the furniture – placed exactly at the same spot, same angle – unnerved him with memories he did not want to have. It was all too much, too overwhelming, and Hibari just wanted to leave. But he couldn't, because Dino wouldn't let him, and the Skylark was weary of trying to fly with tied wings.

Tonight, the moon was full. It may be an illusion of some sort, but the moon appeared to be rounder and wider and brighter in the pitch-dark sky. Again, exactly how the Skylark remembered it to be.

_Not a single damn thing different, huh. _Hibari thought as he stood on the edge of the empty rooftop, leaning dangerously over the bars as he tilted his head upwards to gaze above. He could hear the sounds of crickets chirping in the woods, and the sound of water from a faraway waterfall – the woods where he knew all the trails, the waterfall he'd been in countless of times. It was quite ridiculous how well Hibari memorized every single detail of this place.

"Don't fall," there came the voice the Skylark least wanted to hear. Hibari didn't want to see him, smell the perfume on his skin, or feel his warmth, either. But Dino hugged him from behind, and the Skylark was forcibly consumed by all those senses anyway.

"Speak for yourself," Hibari mumbled, thinking of the many times he'd seen the blonde tumble down a case of stairs, tripping on absolutely nothing. 'Stupid', Hibari always said. But then Dino would flash him that smile – that stupid smile – and make his heart race.

_Stop it. Thinking of that will do you no good._

Oblivious to the younger's thoughts, Dino chuckled, pulling the Skylark's waist closer. Hibari could feel hot breath on the back of his neck, and his stomach fluttered unpleasantly. He was so aware – too aware – of where Dino's arms were and how they felt around him.

"I used to do this to you all the time," Dino mused. "Right here, too. You'd be watching something – the birds, the sunset, the moon – and I'd hold you just like this."

Dino's skin was so warm, like a blanket in the cold night.

"Sometimes your hair would still be wet from the shower, and I'd wipe it until it dried. You always had this faint sakura scent about you. Even after you went off somewhere, the smell would still be clinging to my clothes." Dino buried the tip his nose into Hibari's hair, "Even now, exactly the same."

Hibari remained unmoving and silent, even as he felt goose bumps running all over his skin. And it was strange, because Dino was so warm the Skylark couldn't even feel the chill of the night.

"And sometimes you'd fall asleep, right in my arms. I used to sneak in a kiss on your cheeks because you wouldn't let me do that when you were awake," Dino smiled weakly. "Then, I'd carry you to bed and stay with you until morning. Sometimes I slept, but other times I'd lie there for a while next to you and look at you, listen to you. You probably don't know, but occasionally, you talk in your sleep."

Mildly surprised, the Skylark's eyes widened slightly.

"And most of the time," Dino moved his head closer, so that his lips were just lightly grazing Hibari's ear. "You called my name."

Hibari could feel a dark blush spreading right down his neck and to his ears. _Something like that..._

"Kyouya..." Dino murmured his name, and Hibari shivered. "Do you remember what happened here?"

"No," Hibari said quickly. Not because he didn't remember, but because he didn't want to be reminded. It was too risky, what with them being in this place, the full moon shining, Dino's arms around him with his skin being so, _so_ warm.

"No?" Dino's lips were curled into a sad smile. "Really?"

"No." Hibari said firmly.

"...but I remember," Dino didn't give up. He never did. "It was full moon, just like tonight. We were standing out here, just like this."

_Stay strong. _Hibari rolled in his lips. _Stay. Strong._

"And I kissed you, right here," Dino whispered, pressing his lips to the back of Hibari's ear. "And here," Dino's lips trailed to the nape of his neck, right under his jawline.

"Stop," Hibari closed his eyes, feeling like his walls were being peeled off, layer by layer. And Dino's warmth was coming closer and closer until the Skylark could feel his insides burning.

Dino turned him around, so that they were facing each other. Under the moonlight, Dino looked positively like an angel. A fallen angel. Completely irresistible. With sinful lips whispering his name like a prayer, "_Kyouya, _do you remember now? Do you remember what you said to me?"

Hibari trembled, unable to meet Dino's eyes. The Skylark was certain he'd be scorched to death if his skin was to heat up any further.

"Kyouya," Dino said once again, tilting Hibari's chin with his finger. The Skylark had no choice but to look into those pools of molten caramel, and was surprised to see how sad they were. Dino didn't have that cheeky little spark in his eyes when he was flirting, nor that heated hungry look he had whenever they were kissing. His eyes were just, simply, sad. Like a puppy that lost its mother. Like a child who was abandoned.

Like a man who was heartbroken.

"You told me you loved me."

Dino's voice was so faint, so weak, so vulnerable; as though he could hardly breathe.

And Hibari's eyes became clouded, and he didn't understand, before he realised they were filled with warm tears. His lips were dry, and his fingertips felt icy cold as if they were frostbitten. The Skylark's chest ached as though his heart was swelling, and if Dino was to say one more word Hibari was sure his heart would burst.

_Why do you do this to me? And why am I affected so much by you? Why do I let you do this?_

_ You killed me once. So why am I even considering handing you another gun?_

_ You're only going to use it against me. You're only going to hurt me. You're no good for me. I should just pull the trigger and end this before you can. Shot. Bang. Dead. You'll be gone before I know it and I won't ever have to feel this way again. Without you, nothing would make me weak. Nothing would make me shed a single tear. Nothing would make me feel like you're sticking a dagger through my heart. I will be invincible. Made of iron. Unbreakable. Unshakable. Strong-_

"You know, Kyouya..." Dino's eyes were watery, his hands on Hibari shaking just slightly. "...I love you. I really, _really_ love you."

_ ...lonely. Miserable._

_ Damn it. _

_Damn it. Damn it, Dino. Damn you._

Hibari didn't even realise he was shaking his head. Dino was so close, too close. His eyes too clear for the Skylark to see, his warmth just a stretch away, his lips mere centimeters from Hibari's own. As those words resonated in his mind, Hibari's heart was on the verge of collapsing.

"Please," Dino was speaking, but Hibari's mind was too overwhelmed to register what he was saying. Dino's fingers were tracing his cheeks, setting fire to his senses. Those fingertips came to touch his lips, and Hibari sharply twisted his face away. Dino looked hurt, "You don't have to forgive me right now. I'll make it up to you, I swear. I'll spend my whole life making it up to you. You don't even have to say anything. But, please, just... just let me kiss you."

Hibari didn't know it, but for Dino, this was his last chance. If Hibari was to push him away this time, Dino would finally let him go. Because if Hibari refused him here after everything he said, in this place where Dino knew they were most in love, it would mean that there was no chance for them anymore. It would mean that Hibari didn't care for him any longer. It would mean that there was not a single part left in Hibari that still loved him. And it would kill Dino, but he would let the Skylark go. Because he knew that it would be the best thing for Hibari, and Dino loved him enough to do so.

As for Hibari, he hesitated. Why was Dino asking him this, after all this time? If Dino had just kissed him, Hibari knew he wouldn't have a single ounce of power in him to refuse. If Dino had just forced him, Hibari would be boneless in his arms. But instead...

_He's giving me a choice. _It suddenly occurred to the Skylark. Of course, Dino was giving him a choice – a chance to escape and be free of him. And by doing that, Dino showed that he respected Hibari and his decision. _Because he knows how important it is for me. Because he knows how much I hate to be restricted by others._

For a short moment, Hibari thought about refusing, because that was the sensible thing to do – the safe way to go. But then the idea of losing Dino forever came over him like a tidal wave and Hibari found that he couldn't breathe. The mere thought of living without this person drew all breath out of his lungs. That alone, made the decision for the Skylark.

_Screw it. I don't care for being sensible anymore. Since when was I some coward who always took the safe path? Since when did I become so scared, so weak?_

_ He's staying. I don't care what happens, but he's not going anywhere. Not now, not again. No matter how great the risk may be, no matter how much more I'll have to suffer..._

_ He's worth it. Dino's worth it._

_ "_Hn_," _Hibari finally nodded, and before he knew it Dino's lips were on his own, kissing him as though he was the most important thing in the entire world.

"Kyouya... Kyouya..." Dino whispered his name breathlessly between kisses as though in worship, his lips cherishing Hibari's in ways that made the Skylark light-headed and weak in the knees. Dino's arms were all around him, his fingers in his hair, his breath warm and sweet. And even though Hibari hadn't given Dino any more permission than just to kiss him, all the time, Hibari couldn't help but think...

..._finally._

* * *

**Lancia's House, 3.58am**

GASP.

Gokudera woke in a half-scream. Sweat beaded on his forehead, his breath labored. Still panicking, he scanned the room. It was his first night out of the hospital and he was back in his room at the Dynamite's HQ, but it wasn't until his eyes lay on the person sleeping beside him that Gokudera relaxed.

"Yamamoto," Gokudera whispered his name, snuggling closer to him. Of course, the silvernette was hardly ever this affectionate when Yamamoto was awake, but in these moments, Gokudera allowed himself to do what he wanted. Gokudera was thankful that Yamamoto received permission to stay over with him at Lancia's, because the silvernette would honestly find it a struggle to wake up and not see his 'safety blanket' right beside him.

Funny, how four days of having Yamamoto almost permanently by his side and already Gokudera couldn't imagine how he would manage without him. _At this rate, I'll end up becoming this idiot's clingy stalker._ Gokudera imagined the situation, and had to smile when he realized Yamamoto wouldn't really mind stalker-Gokudera all that much. The baseball nut would probably accept the attention with open arms and a stupid smile. _That's the type of idiot you are. _ The thought made Gokudera chuckle quietly, lightly bumping his forehead against Yamamoto's.

"If you're gonna make out, wait until I fall asleep again, 'kay?" A lazy voice droned out from the futon on the ground.

"...hm?" Gokudera turned around to see his roommate's wide eyes looking up at him. "Spanner. You're up?"

"Mm-hm," Spanner yawned, "The downsides of being a shallow-sleeper."

"...sorry," Gokudera grumbled when he realized Spanner probably woke up because of all his thrashing around moments ago.

"No worries," Spanner waved him off, "As long as you're not copulating with Yamamoto Takeshi, other noises are fine by me."

"You'll be watching everything anyways," Gokudera smirked, "Voyeur."

"Only for educational purposes," Spanner reasoned nonchalantly.

"_What?_" Gokudera laughed incredulously, "What educational purposes?"

"Oh, you know, it'll be quite useful to study Yamamoto Takeshi's techniques and the effects it may have on your body, which will be applicable to Shouichi and-"

"_O-KAY!_ Okay, okay..." Gokudera looked petrified, "TMI much?"

"You asked."

"Right," Gokudera rolled his eyes. _No point in arguing with this mechanical freak of logic. _Emerald eyes glanced at the sleeping form beside him. Yamamoto slept with the face of a sleeping puppy, and Gokudera couldn't help but allow a slow smile to spread along his lips. _Unlike you – your logics swing from being non-existent to logics so pure and true they belong to a child._

Spanner watched Gokudera watch Yamamoto. Quietly, he mumbled, "He really loves you, y'know."

Gokudera turned to look at him, "Why do you say that?"

"I can see it. The way he looks at you," Spanner shrugged, "It's what I predict is how I look at Shouichi."

"Hm," Gokudera hummed. He'd seen how Spanner looked at Shouichi, and although he would never admit it, Gokudera was rather envious. Spanner's eyes always followed Shouichi and gazed at him as though he was the most amazing, most perfect creature that belonged in his arms. They were two parts to one machine, opposite magnetic poles, an antagonistic pair of muscles, fitting together as a pair of lens would fit into a frame of glasses. _Yamamoto and I..._ _are we like that as well? _Gokudera found it hard to believe with all the stumbles in their relationship.

"And, come on, he wouldn't be here if he doesn't," Spanner rolled onto his front, "He's been with you practically 24/7."

"Hm."

"Why do you doubt his feelings? I think they're pretty obvious."

"It's not that I doubt what he feels for me," Gokudera shook his head, "It's what he feels for someone else as well that threatens me."

"_Threatens_ you?"

"Yeah. Threat. He's a threat," Gokudera mumbled. _He's a threat, because I'll freeze over and shatter when he leaves – because without him, I'll be in pieces._

"But if you think about it," Spanner mused, "He's sort of a good threat, isn't he?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's only a threat because he matters," Spanner explained. "And that's better than not having a threat at all."

Slowly, the message sunk into Gokudera. _Spanner has a point._ He raised an eyebrow, "...you're surprisingly deep for someone who practically lives in the garage."

Spanner shrugged, "I have Shouichi there with me."

"Psh," Gokudera threw a pillow at him. "Stop gloating."

"I'm not."

"Shut up, Spanner. Go to sleep."

Spanner grinned. Gokudera threw another pillow at him, but it didn't wipe the cheeky grin of his face. It annoyed Gokudera – mostly because he couldn't help but be insanely jealous of the relationship Spanner and Shouichi shared.

_Why is it so easy for them? _Gokudera wondered, as he rolled back to face Yamamoto. _And why is it so hard for us? What's the difference? Because you have Hibari Kyouya? Because we started off badly? Because we live in different worlds? _Gradually, as thoughts consumed him, Gokudera became obsessed with the idea of finding a proper answer. Somehow, the ultimate answer must exist.

_Because you shine in the light whilst I lurk in the dark? Because your dad couldn't be any better whilst my father couldn't be any worse? Because you were raised with the sound of laughter and I was raised in the stench of alcohol? Because you see the best in people and I expect the worst?_

_Maybe it's because we're too different. We were never meant to meet, never meant to be, aren't we? Maybe- maybe the only thing holding us together now is what that horrible bastard did to me._

_Takumi. Takumi, Takumi, Takumi._

_You disgusting, horrible, horrible bastard._

_It might be you – what you did – that brought Yamamoto back to me. But because of that, I'll never trust him to stay. What you did – it corrupted me. I don't know how low I'll stoop to keep him here. I don't know what I'll do to him to tie him down to me. As long as your memory lives in me, I'll never trust him. _

_As long as your memory lives in me._

_As long as you live in my memory._

_As long as you live._

_As long as you live, Takumi._

_...as long as you live. _

In the dark of the night, emerald eyes grew darker still.

* * *

**A/N: **Lateness is inexcusable D: Although I mean it when I say this time I have a good reason – university applications and all that. I'm really sorry guys...

So, we broke the 300 reviews mark! :D Thank you soooo much! I cannot even express how grateful I am and how much I appreciate all of your support! I love, love, LOVE reading all of your reviews, and it's what pushed me to write this chapter :D *cuddles*

Special thanks to **Phoenix of Starlight** who never gave up on me even when I was horribly AWOL. This update is for you, darling!

Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter! Or just yell at me for being late/threaten me to update faster :P Trust me, I need the motivation. Love ya'll! x


	23. Slipping

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, PTSD, and LIME. Woo-hoo!

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

_...as long as you live. As long as you live._

Gokudera was obsessed. Once the idea popped into his head, it became a permanent seed that germinated within him, growing by the moment, and Gokudera found it harder and harder to ignore the thoughts that plagued his mind.

The silvernette stood by the sink and allowed tap water to run through his fingers, emerald eyes focused on the cigarette burn on his palm as he gingerly fingered it. The skin there was hard and rough with the beginnings of a scab, surrounded by darkened flesh which oozed plasma whenever Gokudera applied any pressure.

_Ugly._ The mark that Takumi left on him was so ugly – just like the memory of him that lurked in his thoughts.

_Ugly, ugly, ugly. You ugly thing. Get off me._ Gokudera began to scrub at his palm, willing the burn away, going faster when he saw no progress.

_Get off me, I said. Get off. Get off! _In desperation, Gokudera grabbed a bottle of soap and rapidly pumped out the liquids onto the burn. He hissed in pain as the alkali stung him but remained intent on cleaning the wound off his hand, his emerald eyes seeing nothing else but the scab. But it seemed to be that the more Gokudera scrubbed at it, the uglier the mark became as the scab became swollen with water and blood and plasma seeped from the cracks.

"Urgh-" Gokudera clenched his teeth. _Get off! Get the fuck OFF me Takumi!_

_Takumi. Takumi. Takumitakumitakumitakumitaku mita-_

"_Argh!_" Gokudera gasped loudly as he dug his nail under the scab and ripped it right off his skin. Blood trickled down his trembling fingers into the sink, giving the water a sickly pink tinge. Gokudera stared at his bleeding hand with twisted satisfaction, smirking as he saw the scab disappearing down the sink.

_Good... good. Disappear, Takumi. Go away. Die. Yes._

_ Die, die, die, die, DIE-_

"Gokudera, are you still in there?" Yamamoto's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Ah, yeah," Gokudera hastily closed the running tap. Some blood got onto the silver in the process, and Gokudera quickly rubbed it away with his clean hand.

"You okay? You've been in there for a while," Yamamoto sounded concern.

"Yup! I'm fine, totally fine-" Gokudera replied, pressing a tissue into the fresh wound and holding it in his fist. The blood stained the paper red almost immediately. Gokudera frowned. _That won't do._

Yamamoto was unconvinced, "You sure? Can I come in?"

"No!" Gokudera panicked, "I mean, yes! Yes. Just- wait a moment. I'm- naked. Yeah."

"...Gokudera, what's going on?" Yamamoto saw right through it. _Damn. Since when did this idiot get so smart?_

"Nothing. Nothing's going on. It's just-" Gokudera took one look at his hand and decided that there was no way he could hide something that obvious from Yamamoto. Mentally swearing, he threw the piece of dirtied tissue away. "-I'm bleeding."

"You're bleeding?" Yamamoto's voice was instantly on high alert, "Where? Are you hurt? You're scaring me, Gokudera. Can you please let me in?"

"Calm down, moron," Gokudera sighed, opening the door with his uninjured hand. Yamamoto stood there with dark brown eyes worried, eyebrows furrowed in deep concern. _Like a little puppy looking for its master. _The image made Gokudera smile at the corners of his lips. He showed Yamamoto his hand, "It's nothing really. The scab just came off when I was showering."

Yamamoto took a good look at Gokudera's palm and sighed when he realized the wound wasn't that deep. He raised a hand and tucked a strand of silver hand behind Gokudera's ear before he murmured, "Don't do that again."

"Do what?"

"Scare me. You were in there for so long. When you said you were bleeding I thought you fell over and hit your head or something."

Gokudera chuckled, leaning his face into Yamamoto's palm. "Don't be stupid. Do I look that clumsy to you?"

Yamamoto shrugged, "You only just got off the wheel chair and back on your feet. It's natural for me to be worried."

"More like paranoid, I'd say," Gokudera shook his head, "Honestly. I'm _the_ Smoking Bomb of the _notorious_ Dynamite gang and you all treat me like a five year old."

Yamamoto grinned, "Maybe it's because you act like a five year old."

Gokudera raised a brow challengingly, "Oh- what was that, baseball idiot? Push me around in a wheelchair for a few days and you think you can take me on?"

Yamamoto met his challenge with a cheeky smile, "Oh, I don't know. It seems a bit unfair to pick on a little kid, don't you think?"

"Bastard!" Gokudera pounced on Yamamoto, who laughed cheerfully – fully expecting the blow. In their little fight they fell onto Gokudera's bed and wrestled vigorously on the mattress, taking turns to flip each other on their backs. Gokudera was in the lead when Yamamoto began tickling his waist, causing the silvernette to lose all power in his arms and legs, curling up into a helpless ball.

"Stop- it! Yama- ah! Yamamoto! You're such a- cheat!" Gokudera gasped between little jerks of his body as Yamamoto's fingers continued to torment his sides. "Stop!"

Yamamoto chuckled at Gokudera's powerless state, "Alright, alright. I'll stop now."

As soon as Yamamoto's fingers stopped working, Gokudera took advantage of the moment and threw Yamamoto onto his back, sitting over him with a victory grin. "Gotcha."

Yamamoto shook his head exasperatedly, "Who's the one cheating now?"

Gokudera shrugged, grinning. "Who cares. I still win."

"Hai, hai," Yamamoto gave in, sitting up to kiss Gokudera lightly on the cheek. "Now, let me treat that wound for you. Okay?"

"Mm- fine," Gokudera nodded passively, satisfied that he had won their minor battle. But his momentary glee was short-lived. As Yamamoto started working on his palm, Gokudera's mind once again wandered down that lane that Gokudera knew should be forbidden. But it was inevitable. The once-small seed had now grown into a plant that entwined itself with Gokudera's brain, the tangles too complicated to be undone.

Gokudera may be happy with Yamamoto now, but it would only ever last a minute – or at most, an hour. Because at the back of his mind, the silvernette was always pondering why Yamamoto was with him – why Yamamoto stayed. And every time, Takumi's name found its way into the equation. And Gokudera would be left alone, awake at night, doubting the feelings of the man who slept next to him.

Sure, he knew Yamamoto loved him. Gokudera knew that, and he believed it now. But he also knew that Yamamoto was in love with Hibari Kyouya – and Yamamoto was goodhearted, so goodhearted that there was no way he would ever leave a rape victim for Hibari. Takumi was the factor that tipped the balance for them all. Without Takumi, who would Yamamoto be with right now? If Takumi didn't rape him, would he still have Yamamoto in his arms? Gokudera didn't know.

As long as Takumi was still there, the questions will never fail to eat Gokudera up.

And as long as that monster was alive, Gokudera would never know.

..._as long as you live, Takumi. _

* * *

**Namimori High School, 8.18am**

When Yamamoto finally came to school – leaving Gokudera with the Dynamites at their HQ – it wasn't long before he found out that Hibari was absent and had been absent since the day before. It was considered rather big news for Nami High especially because the Head Prefect of the Disciplinary Committee was known to have a 100% attendance record. Even when Hibari was dying with fever he would show up at school. It was, therefore, incredibly strange for Hibari to be absent – without reason as well. Some of the students were even starting rumors that the Head Prefect was kidnapped, ridiculous as it sounded – but highly plausible, considering Hibari's family status and profile.

Yamamoto couldn't get the image of Hibari's face and the broken sound of Hibari's voice out of his head. The disquieted feeling accumulated in his chest.

_'That's exactly what it is. You could leave me, but you couldn't leave him. That makes it pretty clear what's going on.'_

'_You chose _him_ over _me_.'_

Those dark eyes of Hibari's were hurt, and Yamamoto could tell. But at that moment, he was so focused on Gokudera that he neglected Hibari's feelings. _If anything happened to him... _Yamamoto clenched his fists. Unable to stop himself, Yamamoto called him at the first chance he got.

Yamamoto called him once, twice, three times – and just when Yamamoto thought he would hang up and call the police or search for Kusakabe instead, the line picked up.

[...] Hibari was silent, but Yamamoto knew he was there from the soft sound of breathing on the other side.

"Hibari...?"

[Why are you calling me?] Hibari's voice was drowsy but firm.

"I-" Yamamoto was at a loss for words.

_'I need time to think. You need to figure out what the hell you want to do with your life. Until then, I don't want to see your face.'_

"...you're not in school. I was- I'm worried," Yamamoto mumbled sheepishly.

[...you're worried, huh. No need. Save it for Gokudera Hayato.]

_Ouch. _Yamamoto winced, "I just wanted to know if you're okay."

[Yes. Is that all?] It was obvious that Hibari was intent on ending the conversation as quickly as possible.

Yamamoto could feel a numb aching inside him. Part of him knew that he deserved this attitude from Hibari. But to think that this cold, unemotional voice used to belong to his Skylark who once blushed in his arms was- heartbreaking. Weakly, Yamamoto whispered, "Kyouya..."

[Mm... Kyouya...] An unknown voice came from the background before Hibari could reply. It was a deep, low voice of a man – muffled by what Yamamoto suspected was a pillow.

Yamamoto frowned, his voice dropping a tone, "Who's that?"

[None of your business.] Hibari replied quickly, and hung up.

"Kyouya!"

Yamamoto was left standing there, gripping his mobile tight in his hands. The image of his Skylark being in bed with another random man immediately triggered something dark within him. Annoyance. Frustration. Anger. _Jealousy._ He couldn't accept it. Nobody was allowed to touch Hibari the way he did, hold him in their arms like he held him. No one. _He's mine._

And whilst Yamamoto was vaguely aware that he was being a horrible hypocrite, he couldn't stop the envy from boiling up within him. They may be on a break, but to Yamamoto, Hibari still belonged to him. At least he thought so until he heard that man's voice just now.

_No. He's mine. I can't lose him to someone else. I can't. Not after all this time._

Yamamoto dialed Hibari's number again but found that his phone was already switched off.

"Damn it," Yamamoto cursed under his breath.

_Who could it be? Hibari's not the type to go off with a stranger – it couldn't be a stranger, could it? But who else is there? I've never seen him being close to anyone else..._

Suddenly Hibari's voice came back to him.

_'You know... my ex came back.'_

Yamamoto's heart sunk.

'_He was the first person I cared about. We were together for two years-'_

"Kufufu, there you are, Ace. I've been looking for you."

Yamamoto snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to find Mukuro looking at him curiously. "Ah, 'morning Mukuro."

"Is something the matter? You look slightly on the depressive side just now. Not a good look for you, Ace," Mukuro smirked, wrapping an arm casually around his shoulders.

"Mukuro," Yamamoto sighed, "Can I ask you something?"

Mukuro's eyes practically sparkled, "I'm at your service."

"You've known Hibari for quite a long time right?" Yamamoto began.

"Mm-hm. Quite."

"Do you know if Hibari... I mean, he dated this person in the past."

"Ahh," Mukuro tapped a finger on his lips, "Yes. He did, didn't he?"

"Ah, yeah. I was wondering if... you knew who it was?"

"Kufufu, you wound me, Ace," Mukuro smiled, "Of course I know."

Yamamoto felt his heart thumping harder in his chest, "Who?"

"...Dino Cavallone," The foreign name rolled smoothly off Mukuro's tongue, "Possibly related to the Italian mafia, from what I know of his last name. He used to work here as a gap student in the Infirmary. Rumor has it he's Hibari Kyouya's first love. I saw him around here quite recently. You might've met him in the nurse's office."

_Dino Cavallone. _

Yamamoto swallowed thickly, thinking of the blonde, handsome Italian man who took care of the sick Gokudera. Dino had eyes that melted like butterscotch every time he smiled and a warmth that emanated from him like a shining aura. His presence alone was incredible – strong, yet gentle and dignified. Dino was a man who was well-raised, ridiculously charming, and completely untenable. Yamamoto wasn't at all surprised this was the person Hibari fell for in the past.

_His first love – and they were together for two years... _Yamamoto felt deflated. _There's no way I can compete with that._

_ But I don't want to lose him. I don't. Not to anyone._

"Is that a bit of jealousy I sense there?" Mukuro teased.

Yamamoto shook his head slowly, sighing, "...I'm being really unfair."

"Unfair?" Mukuro repeated, raising a brow. "Ahh- that's right. How _is_ our lovely Smoking Bomb doing? I've heard he's off the wheelchair. Your presence must be nursing him back to health – you know what they say. 'Love heals' and all."

"Yeah, he's-" Yamamoto paused and stared at Mukuro. The last time he checked, Mukuro didn't know of his affair with Gokudera. "How did you know all this, Mukuro?"

"Kufufu, I have my sources," Mukuro shrugged. "And, please, it's obvious between you and Gokudera Hayato."

"As obvious as it is between you and our Headmaster?" Yamamoto couldn't resist.

"Ooh, Ace, low blow, low blow. You've been hanging around the Dynamites too much."Mukuro whistled, "But we're talking about you at the moment. I really am curious as to what you plan to do with the whole two-timing deal. It's like a saga – a little gay Twilight, kufu."

Yamamoto cringed, "About that..."

"Don't tell me you haven't figured it out, Ace," Mukuro looked at him with those unnerving mismatched eyes.

Yamamoto fidgeted. _I thought I had figured it out. For a moment, I thought I knew what I wanted. But then it's back to the same old selfish routine. I'm thrown back into the same cycle. When I'm with Gokudera, I don't want anyone else. When I hear Hibari's voice, I don't want to let him go. I need to stop. I need to stop this. It's not fair._

_ And yet... I don't know how I can possibly stop. How do people stop themselves from feeling? How do I stop myself from wanting?_

Mukuro pat his back, "Ah, don't make such a face. When the time comes, you'll figure it out."

Yamamoto exhaled, feeling altogether fed up with himself. "I hope that's true."

Hibari or Gokudera. Gokudera or Hibari. Yamamoto needed to make a definite decision and he needed to make one soon – or was the choice even his anymore? What if Hibari already made his mind – oh god, what if Yamamoto was already too late? The thought of him losing grasp on Hibari forever drained all the blood from Yamamoto's heart.

_No. I don't want to lose Hibari. I can't lose Hibari._

He swallowed thickly. _...so where does that leave me with Gokudera?_

* * *

**Dino's Vacation House, 8.20am**

"None of your business."

Hibari snapped his phone shut, closing his eyes momentarily before he switched the phone off altogether and dumped it by the bedside table. Hearing Yamamoto Takeshi's voice invoked too many emotions within him – mostly of betrayal – and Hibari was already too overwhelmed to handle the excess. The fact that Yamamoto saw him as a second choice still stung him deeply and Hibari would be damned if he allowed the sophomore another easy way out.

_Unless he makes up his mind, Yamamoto Takeshi can go to hell. _Hibari decided.

Suddenly, a strong arm wrapped around Hibari's slim waist and pulled him close to a flat, warm chest. His voice, deep and smooth as brandy, was drowsy as he mumbled into Hibari's hair, "...who was that?"

Hibari considered telling Dino a lie, that it was 'no one', but saw no reason to it. Thus, he told him the truth. "Yamamoto Takeshi."

Dino's arms tightened around him, his lips finding their way on the back of Hibari's neck. "Mm."

The Skylark arched a brow, "You're not going to complain?"

"No," Dino nipped at Hibari's shoulder, making him shiver. "I don't have any right to complain. After what I did, as long as you're with me, you can torture me as much as you want. Make me so jealous I'd burn..."

The words, whispered in Dino's heated voice against his skin, sent chills down Hibari's spine. Shifting uncomfortably, Hibari mumbled, "What you said last night-"

"Yes," Dino kissed along the nape of Hibari's neck slowly, "Make me want you so much I can't stand it."

_Oh. _Hibari could feel heat rushing through his body. Trust Dino to bring casual conversation into sex talk. Hibari turned himself around and faced him, "Dino, no."

"Don't do this to me, Kyouya," Dino's eyes were almost golden in the morning light, so warm and bright and kindling with desire. Desire for him – Hibari realised with a twinge in his chest. Dino's long fingers toyed with Hibari's hair, the back of his hand brushing Hibari's cheek. "At least let me kiss you."

Hibari fell silent, not knowing whether he should comply. The Skylark knew he _wanted_ to comply. With his body pressed to Dino's, Hibari's skin tingled with yearning. But the rational part of him was determined not to let Dino get to his head too fast too soon. The level of influence Dino could have on him was too dangerous – Hibari needed some sort of shielding, a distance, a layer of protection against how much Dino could affect him. However, Hibari's reasoning could not stop the Skylark from wanting Dino with a passion – because he missed him so ridiculously much and Dino was so warm and, _god_, Hibari needed him closer. And what harm could a kiss do? After all, he already allowed Dino that much. But they were on a bed and there was very high chance that a kiss would lead to something more. With the internal battle going on within him, Hibari remained quiet, brows knitted together in a tiny knot.

Dino took the periodical silence as permission and solved Hibari's dilemma by pressing his lips to the Skylark's. All thoughts and reasoning fled away from Hibari's mind, then, and he blinked in surprise several times before he melted right into the kiss, his slim arms wrapped around Dino's bare shoulders. The man slept topless, allowing Hibari to directly feel Dino's toned muscles beneath his palms.

"Nnh..." Hibari breathed as their lips met, parted, then met again. Dino added a little more pressure with every kiss, and afterwards the slightest slip of tongue which coaxed Hibari's mouth to open and allow him entrance.

"Kyouya..." Dino whispered his name between kisses as he tasted Hibari delicately but deeply, as though Hibari was wine and Dino was a drunkard. When Dino's large hand came behind Hibari's head and tilted him backwards at an angle where Dino could better explore him, Hibari found that all strength was lost in his limbs. All that his mind was capable of thinking of was Dino. Dino, Dino and Dino alone.

_Don't lose your grip. _Hibari had to remind himself. _Don't get carried away._

Last night, Dino asked Hibari to spend the night in the same room. The implications of that request immediately set off alarms with Hibari – after all, the first and last time they shared a bed ended up with Dino disappearing on him for a year. It was barely possible for Hibari to trust Dino not to repeat the past. The wreck that Dino left him in had embedded a deep-set fear within the Skylark, and it was a scar difficult to erase. Dino knew this and promised him that he would not do anything Hibari did not want – and the man kept to his promise, keeping his hands to himself all night.

And at the present moment, as though Dino had been restraining himself to the point of overbearing limits, he couldn't keep his hands off Hibari.

"Nn- Dino-" Hibari panted after a particularly passionate, breath-stealing kiss. Dino's taste, breath, scent, voice and touch combined overwhelmed Hibari's senses. The blonde's large hands were sensually moving up and down his sides and back, applying intentional pressure at certain areas that made Hibari sigh shakily, complete putty in Dino's hold.

Dino's lips found Hibari's ear and he dipped his tongue lightly inside. The wet sounds of licking and Dino's breath made Hibari gasp, pleasant shudders rolling down his back. Dino then continued his trail down to Hibari's neck, pecking him all along the way, before stopping to linger at the base of Hibari's throat. The Skylark was frozen, absolutely unable to move or breathe or make any sound as Dino worked his mouth and tongue on his collar bone.

"Ah-" Hibari exhaled heavily in a quiet moan when Dino finally ceased the merciless sucking on his skin. A deep bruise began to show, and Dino fingered it gingerly as he kissed Hibari's cheek. Dino then reclaimed Hibari's lips eagerly, erotically flicking his tongue and biting Hibari's wet lips.

Hibari did not know when or how Dino's hands slipped under his shirt, but the moment Dino's fingers slid over Hibari's nipple the Skylark hissed sharply, breaking the deep kiss they were sharing. His smaller hands immediately came to grasp Dino's wrist to stop him.

"No," Hibari shook his head weakly, panting and flushed with desire. "Can't." The Skylark's brain seemed incapable of multi-syllable words.

_I'll slip. I'll definitely slip if we go any further._

Dino, also panting heavily, obediently – albeit reluctantly – removed his hands from beneath Hibari's shirt. His caramel eyes were molten, heated as they focused on Hibari, before he quickly twisted his face away as though he was pained.

"Go," Dino mumbled lowly, "Go take a shower."

Hibari nodded. In the process of edging himself away, Hibari paused and was embarrassed to find out that he was well aroused. The Skylark quickly glanced at Dino, and saw that the Italian was also in a similar state.

"Kyouya," Dino groaned, "Go quickly before I can't stop myself."

Hibari nodded once again before he made his way off the bed. As he stood up, his knees wobbled and he stumbled slightly, finding his limbs weak and powerless. Hibari quickly regained himself and managed to reach the bathroom and shut the door behind him quickly enough. As soon as the door was shut, Hibari leaned his back against it, facing the ceiling, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

_That was close._

Stripping quickly, Hibari stepped into the shower and let the cold water run, intently willing away his arousal.

Five minutes later and Hibari's hard-on remained standing, solely because Hibari simply could not take his mind off of the Italian blonde outside. Dino and Dino's lips on his, Dino's hand on him, and that well-toned body pressed tight against his own. Oh, and what Dino would've done had Hibari not stop him just now... The Skylark cursed under his breath.

"Kyouya..." All of a sudden, the subject of Hibari's frustrations' voice came through the door, and Hibari shivered despite himself.

"Hn," He answered in a hum, not trusting his voice to form words without breaking.

Dino's shadow could be seen through the door slits – he was so close, and Hibari's fingers trembled, wanting him in his grasp. The Italian spoke through the door in a pressed, low voice, "I can't bear it... I want you. God, Kyouya, I want you so damn much..."

Hibari's breath hitched as he felt blood pool into his abdomen with Dino's words. The Skylark rested one arm against the bathroom wall as he tried, with difficulty, to contain himself.

"I'm going mad," Dino's voice was unstable, like the lid atop of a pot of boiling water. "All I can think about is you. I want to hold you against me, so close that we can't tell whose skin is whose. I'll kiss your lips, your cheeks, your neck – I'll kiss you all over, leave my mark all over you... your chest, your stomach, your thighs... ah, your thighs. I'll part your thighs, and take you in my mouth until you're all the way in. And I'll suck you, lick the tip and tease you, so lightly that you'll be gasping, aching for more-"

"Unh-" Hibari groaned, fisting his hand against the wall. His erection, by now, was so taut that the tip was pressed against his lower stomach.

"Kyouya, please," Dino murmured in an almost-pained voice, "Open the door for me. Let me love you..."

Hibari could not stand it any longer. Naked and dripping wet, he shakily stepped towards the door and ever so slowly turned the knob.

"Mmph-!" Dino's lips were on his immediately, kissing him roughly, heavily. Hibari's arms fell naturally around the taller man's neck, his body falling against Dino's. Dino's hands roamed his exposed torso freely, fingertips and palms seductively pressing into his flesh as they moved. The Italian half-carried Hibari back into the shower, all the while not breaking their kiss. Dino's sinful lips did not leave the Skylark much air to breathe as Dino's tongue baited his breath time and time again. During the kiss, Dino blindly turned on the hot shower. The warm water that poured over their bodies heated them up even further.

"Di- ah- Dino-" Hibari panted desperately between kisses, "Not- not all- the way..."

"Okay," Dino nodded, moving to bite Hibari's earlobe, "I promise."

Hibari's back was pressed to the bathroom wall then, as Dino's mouth latched itself on Hibari's pale neck. The Skylark took this opportunity to look over Dino's whole body. Dino's skin was glowing with a light golden tan, his muscles flexing beautifully with his every movement, but what really caught Hibari's eyes were Dino's tattoos. They were a clear physical difference that marked Dino as a different man from the last time Hibari held him. The patterns were intricate with flames of different colors, barbed wire, skulls, a stallion, and letterings which identified Dino as the next boss of the Cavallone famiglia. Intrigued, Hibari began tracing his index finger down the tattoos, beginning his journey from the flaming skull on his neck, down the flames on his well-toned arm, and then down the sides of his torso, lower and lower until the tattoos disappeared beneath the hem of Dino's trousers. With heat rising in his cheeks, Hibari wondered how low the tattoos really went.

"What are you thinking about?" Dino caught Hibari's fingers and intertwined them with his own.

Hibari rolled in his lips, avoiding Dino's gaze. In the quietest voice, he mumbled, "...you."

A warm smile spread across Dino's face, "I'm glad."

"What else c-could I think about- ah-" Hibari tripped over his words when Dino's thumb rubbed against his hardened nipple. The small, pink nubs were already taut and sensitive to the touch. Dino pinched him gently, and Hibari arched his back like a cat. Admiring his response with lit up eyes, Dino bent down and circled Hibari's other nipple with the tip of his tongue.

"Nn," Hibari gripped Dino's shoulders, biting his bottom lip to keep from crying out.

Dino flattened his tongue against the nub, then mouthed Hibari's nipple entirely, sucking him gently. His free hand rolled the nub of Hibari's neglected nipple between his index and middle finger, occasionally teasing it with his thumbnail whilst simultaneously grazing his teeth on the other side. Hibari hissed, leaning his head back against the wall. The untouched member between his legs was painfully hard and leaking with pre-cum.

"Hn-" Unable to stand the lack of friction, Hibari grabbed one of Dino's hands before he shakily guided it downwards.

Dino understood immediately, and diverted his attention from Hibari's chest to between the Skylark's legs. His large, warm hand cupped Hibari softly, and Hibari almost cried out for Dino to hurry up and finish him off. But the Skylark managed to keep his lips shut and only clenched his fingers on Dino's arm. "Nnh-"

"So cute, Kyouya..." Dino murmured, running his thumb up Hibari's hard shaft and teasing the slit lightly. Hibari trembled, wanting – needing – to feel more. Dino smiled, his eyes flitting up to meet Hibari's hooded ones, before he slowly, deliberately, took the Skylark into his mouth.

"Mm-!" The hungry look in Dino's eyes and the heat and moist that wrapped around him was enough to drive Hibari to the edge, but his release was denied when Dino curled his thumb and index finger tightly around the base of Hibari's cock. "Ah-! W-what..."

Dino hummed around his erection, sending hot sparks of fire up Hibari's spine as his tongue worked him, expertly lapping and swirling in ways that made Hibari mewl and writhe beneath him. The Skylark fisted both his hands in Dino's blonde hair, trembling with desire.

"L-let me-" Hibari panted, breaking off in a gasp when Dino took him deeper. His petite form shook, at the verge of his orgasm but unable to get there with Dino's fingers wrapped around him. Hibari's cock was becoming painfully swollen with lack of release. "Dino-!"

Eventually, Dino gave in and removed his fingers from Hibari's base. The man then curled his hand around Hibari and pumped him whilst his mouth worked the tip of his member. Dino's other hand reached up to twist his nipple at the same time as Dino's tongue dipped into the slit of Hibari's cock.

"Nngh-!" Hibari came violently, his entire body shuddering with tidal waves of pleasure washing over him. His hands clutched Dino's hair and he released inside Dino's mouth, moaning lowly, feeling his limbs become heavy like lead. Hibari had to lean his entire weight against the wall to keep his body upright, gasping for breath.

The warm water washed away the semen remaining on Dino's lips, and the rest which remained in his mouth, Dino spit into his hand. Hibari watched dazedly as Dino removed his trousers and used Hibari's cum to slather his own hardened erection. Dino groaned as he stroked himself several times, and Hibari swallowed thickly, now remembering just how large the Italian was.

Hibari also rolled in his lips when he saw that, yes, Dino's tattoos did indeed go _very_ low. The dark patterns stretched right down the man's v-line and around his thighs. And for the love of him, Hibari could not understand why he found the sight so frustratingly sexy.

"Kyouya..." Dino moaned his name, and Hibari felt his body contract in reaction. Dino's lips pressed heatedly against his cheek, and he whispered in a deep, guttural voice, "Turn around for me."

Hibari turned as Dino requested. Hell, Hibari would probably have done anything asked of him if Dino kept using that voice.

Dino's bare body then pressed up against his back, and the sheer heat of Dino surprised Hibari. With skin against skin, Hibari found it hard to breathe all of a sudden, and he bit his lip when he felt something hard against his lower back.

"Don't..." Hibari said breathlessly – almost without any conviction behind his words. To be honest, Hibari had almost forgotten why it was so important to hold back. Dino was so close, and Dino wanted him, and he wanted Dino, and _oh_, Dino's hot breath was down his neck and Hibari could not stop himself from leaning closer to him.

"I won't go inside you," Dino kissed the back of his neck, "I already promised you, didn't I?"

"Hn..." Hibari closed his eyes. He couldn't think, couldn't speak any more with Dino in such close proximity.

"Put your arms against the wall," Dino whispered, and Hibari complied. "Now bring your legs together... yes. Can you hold yourself up?"

Hibari exhaled, "...barely."

"Hold on just a little longer, okay?" Dino pecked his cheek, and planted a gentle kiss on the side of his forehead. Dino then wrapped his left arm around Hibari's waist to support him, whilst Dino's right hand wrapped around his own cock, positioning himself behind Hibari. Dino's member was wet with Hibari's cum, and it slid easily as Dino nudged the head up and down Hibari's entrance.

"Ah- Dino-" Hibari shook his head. "No..."

"It's okay," Dino kissed his shoulders tenderly, "its okay... I'm not putting it in."

"Then what-" Hibari couldn't finish his sentence when, all of a sudden, he felt Dino slip in between his thighs. Hibari's eyes widened, "Ah-"

"Kyouya..." Dino moaned as he slid between Hibari's slender thighs, back and forth, faster and faster, the motion of sex.

"Nnh-" Hibari rolled in his lips, realizing what Dino was doing. And yes, Dino didn't break his promise, they weren't going all the way – but it damn well felt like they were. Dino's shaft was so hot between his legs, his breaths coming in short warm pants against Hibari's neck, and the friction between them sent tantalizing shocks throughout Hibari's body, right through to his toes.

"_Mio Dio_, Kyouya..." Dino groaned in his native tongue, causing Hibari to gasp. Dino's voice sounded different in Italian – deeper, older, sexier...

Dino's hands were all over him. One hand was toying with his nipples, the other taking hold of his re-hardening member and pumping it in time with his thrusts. All the while, Dino's lips were never unoccupied, trailing down from Hibari's neck to his shoulders and collar bone. Hibari was positively trembling from sensory overload.

"D-Dino..." Hibari breathed as he felt another orgasm nearing, his knees weakening. His quivering fingers were losing their hold on the wall, and if Dino went any faster or thrust any harder, Hibari would surely collapse. "_Can't._"

"Nngh-" Dino sped up his rhythm, both his hips and his hands, and Hibari gasped, slamming his palm on the wall. Dino bit his shoulders and groaned when Hibari's thighs tightened around him, "Kyouya... my sweet Kyouya..."

_Unh- I want him... closer, I need him closer... inside... _Hibari's breath hitched as his inner walls clinched in tiny spasms, longing for Dino to drive into him, enter him, push into him, take him – take him...

"Ah- haah..." Hibari shook his head, feeling his release just fingertips away, white hot sparks shooting past his eyes. "Dino-!"

"Unh- Kyouya-" Dino appeared to be close too, as his thrusts became more erratic, his unsteady hand sliding up to touch Hibari's face. "Kyouya, _baciami..._"

_'Kiss me.'_ Hibari knew what the word meant, remembering all the times Dino had used it in the past. Turning his neck to face him and reaching his hand backwards to pull Dino towards him, Hibari met Dino's lips with a sigh, their tongues sliding naturally against each other.

"Mm-!" They both climaxed the moment they kissed, their muscles rhythmically contracting together as Dino held Hibari close to prevent him from falling. Hibari felt his insides clench painfully as he spent himself over and was in a haze as Dino rode out their orgasm – Dino practically holding Hibari up as the Skylark no longer had any power to do so.

When it was over, Hibari slid towards the bathroom floor, panting, face-flushed and eyes glazed over. Dino sat down with him and continued to kiss him delicately as though he couldn't have enough of him – his face, his cheek, his forehead, his nose, his eyelids, his lips... Hibari lost count of how many soft kisses Dino pressed to his skin as he murmured sweet nothings into his ears, both in Japanese and Italian.

And as Dino carried him to bed, Hibari clung to him like a child, refusing to let him go even when Dino laid him down on the mattress.

"Stay," Hibari had ordered in a small voice, "Stay..."

The Skylark was so adorable Dino could not resist pecking his soft lips one more time, "...I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't you _dare_ leave me," Hibari's hand gripped Dino's wrist tightly – so tightly it was bruising.

Dino cradled the Skylark in his arms, "No. I won't. I promise."

"Don't you dare..." Hibari mumbled sleepily, "I'll... I'll bite you to death..."

Dino chuckled, pressing a long kiss to Hibari's forehead. By the time Dino retreated, Hibari was already fast asleep, exhausted and overwhelmed with pleasure.

Dino smiled, brushing away Hibari's hair from his face – his beautiful Skylark...

"_Ti amo, _Kyouya."

* * *

**Dynamite's HQ, 4.13pm**

The scab was reforming. This time it was even larger. Scabbier. _Uglier._ Gokudera couldn't bear seeing a second of it.

Gokudera checked the clock. Yamamoto was most likely still in school – baseball practice usually lasted until late in the evening. _Yes, in school, where the good kids should be. _Gokudera still had plenty of time. Spanner was out in the garage with Shouichi working on their mechanics' project. The rest of the Dynamite gang was out.

_Good. No interruptions._

The silvernette slipped into the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and began his work on his hand. But this time wasn't as easy as the last – Gokudera tried to dig his nails under the scab and rip it off but the scab wasn't developed enough to have an edge to be dug under yet. And it was frustrating because Gokudera hated, _hated_, seeing it there and it was so _ugly_ and he needed the darn thing _off _of him.

Gokudera attempted for a few moments to actually dig his nails into his flesh itself, but his nails were too blunt. He needed something sharp. A knife. A blade. _Yes._

Fumbling through the cupboards within the bathroom, Gokudera frantically searched for an object which will be able to cut through his skin. He eventually came upon a tiny metal pair of scissors with a curved, extremely pointed tip. The metal gleamed maliciously against the white bathroom light. Gokudera experimentally pricked his finger with the tip – immediately, a droplet of fresh red blood formed on his fingertip. _Perfect._

Standing back up and wresting his palm upwards on the edge, Gokudera took a deep breath before he pressed the tip of the scissors hard into his flesh. He hissed as the metal bit into him and blood flooded his palm, but Gokudera was determined not to stop. No matter what, he needed to get rid of that mark. He needed to.

With a sort of obsessive compulsive concentration, Gokudera used the scissors to carve out the forming scab. Gritting his teeth, he plunged the blade deep into his palm and dug out his skin. Occasionally, groans and curses of pain escaped his lips when he struck particularly deep or cut a bit too much – but most of the time, Gokudera felt numb – the numbness that haven't left him since that awful night.

"Urgh-" By the time Gokudera managed to rid himself of the hardening skin, his hand was covered in dark blood, and it was throbbing in pain. Gokudera was breathing heavily, but found – with some twisted satisfaction – that he was finally feeling something. The numbness had disappeared. And the feeling that he had managed to peel away yet another thing Takumi left him with was... incredible. Invincible.

Wanting to feel more of that release, that freedom, Gokudera slowly pressed the tip of the scissors into the flesh of his arm. Then, he quickly dragged the scissors up and through his flesh, blood gushing out of the trails he left.

"Agh-!" The pain left Gokudera gasping, but as his blanched fingers trembled, Gokudera never felt more _alive_.

_Yes. This. I need this._

But before Gokudera could make another cut, the door clicked open.

Gokudera's heart sunk to his ankles.

"Gokudera...?" Yamamoto's eyes were wide, confused. Then, he saw all the blood and his eyes were immediately filled with fear and concern. He rushed towards Gokudera in long strides, "What happened? Why are you-"

CLANK.

Gokudera, in shock, dropped the scissors in the sink. The clang of the metal against ceramic echoed throughout the room, the sounds seeming to mock Gokudera.

Yamamoto stared at the bloody scissors, then back at Gokudera. Emerald eyes avoided his own, and Yamamoto's own dark chocolate eyes grew darker as he looked at Gokudera's arms and he realised what the silvernette had done. Quietly, Yamamoto mumbled, "...you cut yourself?"

Gokudera turned his face away, pulling his sleeves down to cover his bleeding arm.

"Gokudera... you-" Yamamoto suddenly found himself very, very angry at the silvernette – so angry that he was shaking under his skin. Yamamoto gripped Gokudera's uninjured wrist hard, "What the _hell _do you think you're doing?"

Gokudera rolled in his lips shamefully, "...I don't know."

"You don't know? You don't..." Yamamoto felt like he needed to throw something. The grip around Gokudera's wrist tightened so much that Gokudera could feel his blood circulation being cut off.

"You're hurting me," Gokudera mumbled in a small voice.

"_I'm_ hurting you?" Yamamoto repeated incredulously, "Just take a look at the sight of your arm!"

Gokudera flinched away when Yamamoto raised his voice. Noticing, Yamamoto swore under his breath and let go of the silvernette. Yamamoto turned away, appearing as though he couldn't look at Gokudera at the moment.

Looking at Yamamoto, Gokudera suddenly found himself quite annoyed. What the hell is it to Yamamoto if he wanted to cut? It was his own damn body – he could do whatever the hell he wanted with it. Raising his chin, Gokudera crossed his arms and spoke, "Why the hell are you so angry, anyway?"

Yamamoto snapped his head towards Gokudera, his eyes flashing. "Why am I angry? You're asking me that? You really don't get it, do you?"

"Well, yeah. No. I don't get it," Gokudera shrugged, feeling a small tinge of pleasure from regaining some of his power over Yamamoto.

"Don't," Yamamoto's voice was pressed low, "Don't try me, Gokudera."

Gokudera narrowed his eyes, "Who the hell gave you the right to tell me what to do?"

"_Gokudera,_" Yamamoto grabbed his bleeding arm and Gokudera hissed when the fabric of his sleeve rubbed against his wounds.

"Let go of me, Yamamoto!" Gokudera thumped Yamamoto's chest but Yamamoto caught his other hand too. Gokudera was going to fight him further, but Yamamoto squeezed his arm again, and the shock of the pain caused Gokudera to freeze.

Yamamoto loosened his grasp a little when he saw that Gokudera was becoming docile. "How many times have you done this?"

"...first time today," Gokudera mumbled.

"Are you lying?" Yamamoto looked deep into his eyes.

"I'm not!" Gokudera growled, "Damn you!"

"Okay," Yamamoto ran his thumb around the back of Gokudera's hand, "Okay, I believe you... let me bandage it for you, now, alright?"

Gokudera nodded and followed Yamamoto out of the bathroom. He sat on the bed in silence as Yamamoto treated his cuts with precision and care, bandaging his arm and hand neatly. When Yamamoto was done, he seemed to have calmed down a whole lot.

Taking Gokudera's hands in his own, Yamamoto questioned him with a gentle voice, "Can you tell me why?"

Gokudera fidgeted, before realizing that there was no means of avoiding the truth. Any lie he spun would only complicate matters. "I feel... dirty."

"Dirty?"

"Dirty," Gokudera repeated. "Ugly. The scars that bastard left on me... the scabs. They're ugly. I can't see them. I can't have them on me. His marks. I needed them out. Then, when I cut it out of me it – hurt. It really hurt. And it's weird, but I haven't been feeling much of anything, and that pain just makes me... I don't know. I feel like I'm here. I'm alive. Like – like he's releasing his hold on me... man, that sounded way better in my head, I swear."

"Gokudera..." Yamamoto pulled him close, scooping the silvernette into his arms.

"I'm going insane," Gokudera mumbled against Yamamoto's neck. Then, he chuckled bitterly, "Didn't I tell you I'm too much of a wreck to save? I told you. I warned you."

"You might be," Yamamoto murmured, stroking his hair, "But that doesn't change a thing about how I feel about you."

Gokudera smiled weakly, hiding his face on Yamamoto's shoulders, "...that's because you're an idiot."

"...please don't cut again," Yamamoto pleaded quietly. "Just don't. For me."

Gokudera fell silent. "I can't promise you that."

Yamamoto went quiet. Then, he suddenly stood up. His face was determined.

Gokudera looked up at him quizzically, "What?"

Yamamoto went into the bathroom for a second, then came out, grabbing something firmly in his hand.

"What are you-" Gokudera began, before he saw the reflection of the metal against the light. His emerald eyes grew wide in realization, "Yamamoto _don't-!"_

But Yamamoto had already quickly slit his arm with the very same pair of scissors Gokudera used to cut his own. Bright red blood splurged from the wound and Yamamoto groaned in pain, gripping his forearm tight. Gokudera immediately sprung himself towards Yamamoto and snatched the scissors right out of his hand before he threw it across the room.

"You _moron_!" The silvernette shrieked at him, pushing at his chest with every yell, "What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing? You _stupid_, motherfucking _idiot_! I can't _believe_ you just did that! Fuck, I am so bloody _angry_ at you right now! Don't you fucking _dare_ do that ever again! Do you hear me, Yamamoto Takeshi? Never _ever_!"

Despite hissing through the pain, Yamamoto managed to smile sheepishly, "...now you know how I feel when I saw you just now."

Gokudera, boiling with fury, blinked a few times in confusion, before understanding dawned on him. Slowly shaking his head, he thumped Yamamoto's shoulders with his fist, "...fine. Fine, I get it. I won't do it again."

"And every time you slip up," Yamamoto nodded towards his bloody arm, "I'll cut too."

"_What?_" Gokudera repeated ridiculously, before he looked at Yamamoto and realized that the guy was dead serious. He sat back on the bed, shaking his head. _Why would you go so far as to do that for someone like me? Why, Yamamoto?_

Emerald eyes watched Yamamoto as he treated and bandaged himself. Trying to be at least a little helpful, Gokudera handed him the bandages and saline water when Yamamoto needed it.

"...you could've gotten AIDS, you know," Gokudera began quietly, just as Yamamoto was finishing off.

Yamamoto smiled, "Gokudera, you're HIV negative. Your blood test results came back yesterday, remember?"

_But you didn't think of that when you cut yourself just now, did you? You're not the type to think things through like that. _Gokudera sighed, once again, not being able to comprehend why Yamamoto would go to such lengths to prove something to him. What was Yamamoto trying to achieve? _Just to make me stop cutting? Is that it?_

"Ah-" Gokudera was surprised when Yamamoto suddenly pulled his unwounded arm towards himself. In the baseball player's hand was a marker pen. Gokudera frowned, "What are you trying to do now?"

Yamamoto didn't answer, but turned Gokudera's arm so that his palm faced upwards. Yamamoto then began drawing a little picture on Gokudera's wrist – his hands were all over it, so Gokudera couldn't tell what it was at first.

"You're gonna give me skin cancer," Gokudera grumbled.

Yamamoto chuckled, "Considering how much you've smoked and drunk, if you're gonna get any kind of cancer I'm pretty sure it won't be because of this little mark I'm making."

"Tch," Gokudera clicked his tongue, unable to counter-argue against Yamamoto.

"There. Done," Yamamoto smiled brightly as he closed the lid back on the pen.

Gokudera frowned at the black inking on his wrist, "...what in the world is that?" It looked like some sort of creature with four legs, but Gokudera couldn't tell whether it was a dog, a cat, a tiger, or a bear. It had some stripes on it, so Gokudera was pretty sure it couldn't be a bear...

"It's Uri!" Yamamoto said cheerfully.

Gokudera glanced at him sideways, "...Uri is not that ugly."

"Hey, hey, it's not that bad," Yamamoto laughed. Yamamoto had always laughed so easily – it was a sound that Gokudera had become addicted to. And every time Yamamoto laughed, Gokudera couldn't help but feel a small tugging at the corner of his lips, too.

"So, why have you drawn this... thing on me again?" Gokudera asked, tapping the lopsided cat with his fingers.

"I've drawn '_Uri'_ on your wrist," Yamamoto began, "because now, if you cut here, you'll not only make me cut, but you'll be killing chibi-Uri as well."

Gokudera stared down at the picture. All of a sudden, the unbalanced cat looked so much more adorable now that he knew why Yamamoto drew it. Quietly, Gokudera murmured, "You would do all this for me..."

Yamamoto grabbed Gokudera's hand, his face completely serious. "Of course I would."

Gokudera's emerald eyes trailed towards the bandage on Yamamoto's arm. Already, blood was seeping into the gauze and tainting it dark red. Gokudera's chest tightened at the sight. _You really would do all this just for someone like me. For someone so unworthy..._

"Idiot," Gokudera shook his head at Yamamoto, although his emerald eyes were shining amiably. "You're such a fool. A moron. So stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

Yamamoto smiled weakly, "Ah- well-"

"I love you." Gokudera's eyes were completely clear as he spoke those words.

Yamamoto was momentarily paralysed. Then, his face split into one of the brightest smiles Gokudera had ever seen on him. "Me?"

"No, baseball idiot, I was talking to the wall," Gokudera rolled his eyes, though he was smiling as well. "Of course I meant you."

Yamamoto immediately took Gokudera into his arms and hugged him tight, smothering him with kisses to both his cheeks. Gokudera complained that Yamamoto was suffocating him, but the silvernette was laughing all the while. It felt good to finally tell him. It felt as though Gokudera finally allowed himself to confirm the feelings he had for Yamamoto.

_Yes._ _I love you, Yamamoto. _Gokudera smiled as he hugged Yamamoto and rested his chin on Yamamoto's shoulders. But his emerald eyes were calculating – still holding a tinge of darkness inside those deep green pools.

_I love Yamamoto. _

_That's why there's one thing I have to do – to protect him. Against me._

_Because as long as you live, I'll keep hurting him – and I don't want to do that anymore._

_...so I'm going to kill you, Takumi._

* * *

**A/N:** MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS! :D For those of you still here and still reviewing... THANK YOU so FREAKING much. I love you all! The support I get from you all is amazing, and the reviews really were the driving force behind me writing this chapter! ;D *cuddles and blows kisses* This fic is coming to an end preeeeetty soon – so bear with me just a little while longer! ;)

Ps. Woops, this chapter was late, wasn't it? Why? To put it simply, I was being a brat and not writing because not enough of you reviewed last time. And when I don't start a chapter quickly enough, I tend to leave it forever because I get super busy. So... partly your fault, partly my fault ._. Solution? REVIEW. It takes me several hours/days to write a chapter – it takes you just 5-10 minutes to write a review (unless you're Phoenix and wonderful and writes me pages and pages of lovely goodness). IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? D:

On a brighter note: have an AWESOME holiday, you incredible people! :D xx PLEASE REVIEW!


	24. Countdown

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, SUPER FLUFF, non-graphic lemon, swearing, PTSD, violence.

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

**Namimori High School, 0.00am**

It was midnight, and the sky was dark and starless. Gokudera leaned against the back walls of Nami High, arms crossed, silver hair blowing in the wind. Occasionally, he would check his phone for the time, counting down – waiting. The silence of the night was unnerving, but emerald eyes remained stern and focused as they scanned the streets for a certain person. The wait almost frustrated him – Gokudera wanted action and he wanted to move and start and go and be _done_ with it already. The faster the better.

_Any moment now._

"Kufufu..." There it was – the signature laugh Gokudera had been waiting for. Gokudera turned his head towards the sound and, sure enough, it was Rokudo Mukuro who appeared around the corner. The ex-Kokuyo student wore all-black with his infamous trident at his side and a playful smirk on his face. His grin widened as he got closer to Gokudera, "Why, when M.M. told me the Smoking Bomb of Dynamite wanted to use my services, I thought the world was coming to an end."

"You were the last resort," Gokudera mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"I see your conditions have improved," Mukuro nodded approvingly, "Yamamoto Takeshi must've taken good care of you, hm?"

"Can we just cut the crap and get to it already?" Gokudera said agitatedly. He needed everything to happen as quickly as possible. He needed things to happen _now_. If he allowed himself to dwell any further, Gokudera was certain he would really go insane.

Mukuro raised an eyebrow, "Someone's in a hurry."

"Shut it," Gokudera pulled out an envelope from his pocket, "I have what you asked for in here."

"Ahh," Mukuro smiled, "Information for information. I like it."

Gokudera glared at him, wishing the mismatched-eyed creepo would bloody hurry the hell up already. The silvernette's hands were getting sweaty with anticipation.

Mukuro, sensing his impatience, chuckled. "Kufufu... alright, Smoking Bomb, calm down. I have your information ready too. Check it, if you wish. Although I'm pretty sure I've completed your request flawlessly."

Mukuro and Gokudera exchanged envelopes and began inspecting the contents inside. The envelope Mukuro gave him was black and well-sealed. Inside, Gokudera saw a paper with an address, a map of the area, another detailed map of the target building with marked entrances and exits, a few photographs of the building, and finally, a profile of the person Gokudera abhorred.

_Takumi._

Seeing the photo of his face made Gokudera nauseous, his heart beat accelerating unnaturally, his breaths becoming hitched. The silvernette quickly stuffed it back into the envelope and closed his eyes for a few seconds to calm his nerves.

_He's not here. He can't touch you. Not now. And soon, he will never be able to._

_ "_Magnificent," Gokudera heard Mukuro's voice from somewhere afar. "Everything's in here. Hm? You okay there, Smoking Bomb?"

"Yes," Gokudera replied immediately, opening his eyes. "I'm good."

"Hm..." Mukuro narrowed his eyes, "...Lancia does not know about this exchange, I presume?"

"No," Gokudera shook his head.

"And he doesn't know what you're planning, either?"

"No."

"What about the rest of Dynamite?"

"No."

Mukuro paused, "...what about Yamamoto Takeshi?"

"...no," Gokudera said quietly. Then his deep green eyes focused on Mukuro dangerously, "And you're not going to tell him, or anyone else, either. That's part of the deal."

"Of course," Mukuro winked, "My lips are sealed, kufufu."

Gokudera didn't trust Mukuro in the very least, but it was the best he could do. Besides M.M., Mukuro was the only decent information gatherer he knew – and because Gokudera could not let Dynamite know of his plans prior to the execution, Mukuro was his only choice. Sure, the ex-Kokuyo was annoying, insufferable, and full of lies – but he was, undoubtedly, extremely good at what he did.

And Gokudera was desperate.

"Well, good luck, Smoking Bomb," Mukuro said as he was taking his leave, spinning the trident casually in his hand. "Don't blow yourself up." Mukuro winked again.

Gokudera gave him the finger, but the ex-Kokuyo student just chuckled deeply as he disappeared off into the night. The silvernette was left there alone, gripping the envelope tight in his hands. He looked up into the moonless sky, thinking through what he was about to do and mentally preparing himself for it. Then, Gokudera looked down at the cartoon picture of Uri drawn on his left wrist and smiled as he thought of the person who drew it on him.

_Tonight. Tonight and it will be all over._

Gokudera traced the cat with his fingers.

_Tonight, Yamamoto._

* * *

**Dino's Vacation House, 4.18am**

"Kyouya... Kyouya, wake up."

"...hn?"

"Come with me."

Hibari was still trying to blink his eyes open when, all of a sudden, Dino scooped him off the bed and into his strong arms. Dino carried him so easily, effortlessly, without even needing Hibari to cling onto him at all. The warmth from Dino brought Hibari back to memories of yesterday's events, and he couldn't help but feel heat rise to his cheeks as he remembered the way he became a complete mess under Dino's ministrations.

Clutching Dino's shirt with one hand, Hibari looked up at the blonde with sleepy annoyance, "Put me down... where are you taking me?"

"Wait," Dino kissed the top of his head, smiling, "You'll see."

Dino eventually put Hibari down when they came downstairs and reached his car. It was a different one from the one they drove here with. This one was a matte black Lamborghini, with darkened windows and all-black wheels – a fine picture of dirty money. Yet, Hibari could not stop thinking about how fetching the Italian looked next to and inside the car. It was in moments like these that Hibari remembered Dino's position in his famiglia, the power he had, and the weight he had to carry.

They drove away, just the two of them, under the still-dark sky. Hibari didn't know where they were going but as Dino reached over with his left hand and intertwined their fingers, Hibari realised that he didn't care. Dino could take him anywhere and it wouldn't matter one single bit. Dino may have become the new boss of a grand-scale mafia group, but to Hibari, Dino would always be the clumsy, dorky and goodhearted man who kept a pet turtle called Enzo and saw the world in a golden light. Dino would always be that strange blonde Italian in the nurse's office who smiled at Hibari with warm caramel eyes, gave him candy as though he was a child, and kissed Hibari as though he meant the world.

To Hibari, Dino would always be Dino. His Dino.

Hibari was done resisting. He was done pushing away. And he was done fooling himself into thinking that he could ever let this man go.

"We're here," Dino murmured gently as they pulled into an open-air, completely empty parking lot.

When Hibari got out of the car, he could hear the sound of waves crashing against the shore. They walked along side by side, until, surely enough, Hibari could see the ocean. The sky was just becoming lighter now and birds were awakening, chirping as they did so. Dino didn't speak and the two of them didn't stop walking until their shoes were off and both of their feet were in the water with the waves just lightly brushing over their ankles.

Hibari closed his eyes as the sand ran between his toes. It had been too long since he had last come to the beach.

"Look, Kyouya," Dino whispered beside his ears, motioning towards the sky. The sun was just appearing over the horizon, painting the sky with beautiful shades of yellows and oranges and reds and pinks and purples... The sea reflected the light as it rippled, and as the sun shone above them, Hibari glanced at Dino and saw that the man looked positively divine – golden, even.

Dino turned to him, their eyes meeting. For once, Hibari did not look away. Perhaps he was mesmerized by the Italian's honey-colored, shining eyes that looked at him as though in awe.

"_Bello_," Dino breathed, pressing a kiss to Hibari's forehead.

Hibari found it bizarre that such words came out of the man who was practically glowing like a god who had just fallen off his cloud onto earth._ Falling off his clouds, tripping down from heaven like a klutz – yes, that sounds just like him. _Hibari smiled at the corner of his lips with that thought. He leaned over and bit Dino's shoulders playfully.

"Ow, ow," Dino laughed, pinching Hibari's cheek. "Don't bite."

Hibari turned his face and bit Dino's fingers as well, his teeth actually sinking to Dino's bones.

"Ouch," Dino winced, although he was still smiling. "Are you trying to eat me?"

"I'm 'iting 'ou," Hibari spoke around his fingers.

"To death?" Dino grinned.

Hibari eyed him seriously, "...oo 'eath."

Dino chuckled amiably, "What did I do this time?"

Hibari finally released his fingers from his mouth, shrugging, "Just in case you disappear again."

Dino's smile softened. He took Hibari's hand in his own, "I won't."

Hibari shook his head. "Don't say that."

"Why?"

"Hn." Hibari looked down at their fingers, intertwined together. Dino's hands were bigger than his, as it always had been. _Don't say it, because I'll believe you. And then, when you leave... it'll crush me. I can't deal with that. Not again. I can't let myself rise to such great heights when I will suffer that much greater of a fall. It's too much for me to handle._

"Kyouya..." Dino's fingers were on his face, and Hibari looked up at him. Dino kissed his cheek and whispered, "I will never leave you again. I swear."

Staring into those bright, golden eyes, Hibari suddenly realized how afraid he was that Dino would. To think that he would never see Dino's smile or hear his laugh again... Hibari raised a hand to grip Dino's wrist, "What about the mafia? You won't leave because of the same reason?"

"I'll protect you. My famiglia will protect you. None of the rival groups will ever dare lay a single finger on you," Dino's voice was firm.

"...one day you'll need to have a successor," Hibari said bitterly. He didn't know which would be worse – to see Dino with a woman or to never see Dino again. Or did it even matter? Hibari was sure he wouldn't be able to stand seeing either.

"My cousins can continue the family line, it doesn't matter," Dino locked eyes with him, "I don't want anyone – or anything – else but you."

Hibari gripped Dino's wrist harder, fearing how much he wanted that to be true. "Then what about Italy? You can't stay here forever."

This time, there was a moment of pause. And Hibari held his breath, scared of what Dino was about to say. Dino's eyes grew very serious when he eventually spoke, "Kyouya, I want you to listen very carefully."

Hibari felt his heart race, thumping hard like fists in his chest. What if Dino really had to leave? What if they can only see each other once a year? Oh god, what if today was the last day and that was why Dino brought him here? _I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to lose him. _Feeling his heart lurch painfully, Hibari squeezed his eyes shut.

"...come to Italy with me."

Hibari's eyes flew open with that. The Skylark blinked rapidly, unsure if he had heard right. "What-"

"I know you're still in high school, and I- I know it's a lot to ask and a lot for you to consider," Dino looked nervous like Hibari had never seen him. He was fidgeting with his fingers, his hands clenching and unclenching sporadically, "But after you finish your senior year here, or even after you finish university... I- I really want you to come with me to Italy. Come stay with me. And not just in Italy, but here, too. I mean- I'll be coming to Japan a lot for work, and I've bought a house, so even if you can't go to Italy we'll still see each other. But I... I want you to stay- to _live_ with me – both here and over there and... everywhere. Because, Kyouya, I've been apart from you once and it almost killed me. I can't take it. I want- I _need_ to have you with me. I don't want to be away from you, I don't want to be parted from you. Not now and not ever. Do you understand?"

Dino's hands were shaking. Hibari didn't know since when did he stop breathing during that speech. His lungs seemed to have forgotten how to take in air altogether. His heart was beating uncontrollably in his chest, and he couldn't stop his voice from trembling as he spoke. "...what are you asking?"

_I need to make sure, one last time._

Dino smiled, his eyes filled with passion as he looked at the Hibari. "...when you're older, I want to get on one knee and give you a ring and ask for your hand. I want to stay with you until my very last breath."

Dino inhaled deeply, as though trying to calm down the raging emotions within him. "You... you're _everything_, Kyouya, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you."

Hibari never thought he was the type of person to shed tears when he was happy. He used to scoff at romantic movies. He would frown at the cliché, corny marriage proposals and roll his eyes at sentimental love confessions. Hibari used to think that people were so stupid to let themselves fall into a state so overcome with emotion. But for some reason, in this moment, the Skylark's eyes were wet. His throat was dry, and his heart ached deeply with every word that left Dino's lips.

His heart ached deeply for Dino.

_I love him. _Hibari finally allowed himself to admit. And the truth was that Hibari never stopped loving Dino and would most likely never love anyone else the way he did again. Dino was the one person, the first and the only one, who could make everything right in the Skylark's life.

"Dino..." Hibari wrapped his arms around Dino's neck, and without needing words, Dino understood Hibari's answer. Their lips came crashing together naturally like opposing magnetic poles, their hands holding onto each other like they would never let go, fingers trembling from the sheer intensity of emotions passing between them. Their hearts were beating fast and hard, so much that they could almost explode. And as Hibari moved his tongue against Dino's he knew without a doubt that if he never met this man, he would never have found true happiness – at least not in this tear-inducing, heartbreaking, soul-shattering way.

They kissed under the sunrise, standing amidst the sea until Hibari's knees buckled in on themselves and both were gasping for breath. Dino took Hibari's hand and they walked back to the car together, desire burning under their skins, electricity between their palms. The instant they were inside the Lamborghini, their lips sought each other out as though they were addicted. Hibari straddled Dino's lap as they kissed deeply, the chair bent back as far as it would go. There was a thought to drive back to the house, but neither of them could stand the wait. Their emotions were so tightly bound that the need to feel each other's flesh and be with the other just as closely was overbearing.

"_Dino,_" Hibari's arms were shaking are they wrapped around Dino to bring him closer – desperate for Dino's heat, Dino's scent.

"Mm," Dino nuzzled his neck, feeling Hibari's heart thumping furiously beneath his own. "_Mio_ _Kyouya_..."

It was a sense of overwhelming urgency, and yet they were both soothingly calm as they whispered in each other's ears and joined hands and shared breaths – a clash between the physical ardent desire to feel each other right there and then, and the knowledge that they have all the time in the world as from this day onwards, they would always be together.

Their hands were tangled and frustrated as they tried to strip the other down quickly, but still not fast enough for their boiling passion. Lips met time and time again, and when skin finally met skin Hibari sighed, at hearth as he was surrounded by Dino's warmth.

"Ah-"

The Skylark gasped and arched his back as Dino parted his legs and teased him softly open with long fingers, stretching him. Hibari's own fingers dug into Dino's shoulders and arms with every hitching breath, leaving red marks and tiny crescent moons in their wake.

Dino's lips were everywhere, suckling and licking and kissing, leaving marks all over his pale body. With tantalizing touches and sinful movements of his fingers, Dino teased and worked Hibari to the point where the Skylark had forgotten all about the pain and was trembling all over, clutching onto Dino and very nearly screaming to have Dino buried deep inside him. And just as Hibari thought he was going to lose his mind if Dino were to torture him a second longer, Dino entered him.

"Nngh-!" Hibari bit his lips.

"_Kyouya..._" Dino breathed his name as though in worship and Hibari moaned quietly into his shoulders, his body clenching as Dino filled him completely.

"Nn- D-Dino..."

They moved together, slowly at first, before speeding up as their kisses became more heated and their gasps and sighs became low moans and groans in their throats.

Somewhere in the middle, Dino's arm would clumsily hit something, or the car would creak loudly somewhere, and one time the horn even sounded, jumping them both, and they would end up laughing breathlessly against each other. It may or may not have rained during the interim – they didn't care, they didn't notice, they didn't remember. Nothing could've bothered them in this moment. They were in love and they were invincible.

They held out as long as possible, never wanting the moment to end. At the peak of their desire, Dino was whispering words of affection and all sorts of sweetness in jumbled Italian and Japanese whilst Hibari was a mess of breaths and sighs, unable to utter anything else but Dino's name. They moaned, gasped, then collapsed together as searing pleasure shattered through them both and left them panting, exhausted.

The sun shone through the windows when it was over. With Dino's hand tangled in his hair and Dino's naked arms wrapped around his body, Hibari looked at the clear blue sky and wondered why it had never looked so beautiful. His dark eyes turned to the man lying beneath him.

With a hidden smile behind his lips, Hibari bit Dino's collar bone gently and murmured, "_Miniera_."

Dino smiled lovingly and pecked Hibari's kiss-swollen lips, "...you speaking Italian will be the end of me."

"Get used to it," Hibari whispered, "I'll learn the language when I'm there."

Dino chuckled and kissed him again, never having enough. Dino would probably never have enough of Hibari even if he had his whole life to kiss him. His warm eyes crinkled as they looked down at his Skylark. "I can't wait, Kyouya."

"Hn," Hibari hummed against Dino's chest, but they both knew it meant _'me too'_.

As they fell asleep in each other's arms, the last thing Hibari's eyes saw were clouds floating in the sky. The Skylark then pondered in a dreamlike state that he was rather similar to a cloud. Clouds were like him in the way that they were uncontained and unrestrained by anyone – free to move by their own will. Hibari then thought that in a similar analogy, Yamamoto would be rain, momentarily relieving clouds of their pain and draining them of their heavy weight. But Dino – sweet, wonderful, clumsy, klutzy, perfect Dino – would be the sky...

...and ultimately, that was where clouds belonged.

* * *

**Varia HQ, 2.26pm**

"Five thousand yen... ten thousand yen... fifteen thousand yen..."

"Mammon-senpai, you do realize most men will find women who are this obsessed with money completely unattractive, right? Not that a lot of men will even recognize you as a woman anyway."

"Fran-chan~, that's not very nice! But, then again, I must agree, Mammon-chan, you might wanna work _just_ a tad on your feminine-"

"Shut up, Lussuria, I'm trying to count. Fifteen thousand yen... twenty thousand yen..."

"Mou~, how meannnn~."

"Yeah, Gaylord-senpai is right. How meannnn. You're ignoring me. Is it because you're still jealous that I took your spot as moron-senpai's partner? Jealousy is an ugly trait, you know. I don't understand why you're even jealous anyway, that psycho freak-prince is a far cry from-"

"Shush, kid. Twenty thousand yen... twenty thousand and five hundred yen..."

"Where_ is_ our Bel-chan, anyways? It's a bit lonely without our little prince around, don't you think~?"

"Ah, yes. So lonely. I am almost writhing in pain with loneliness. I miss the idiotic fake-prince so much my heart is having a myocardial infarction and I am simply dying, dying, dying inside. Ow."

"Aw! Fran-chan, that is so adorable!"

"...I was being sarcastic, Gaylord-senpai."

"Oh. Well~, you talk in such a monotone, it's impossible to tell when you're joking. And I _told_ you, Fran-chan, many, _many_ times to call me '_Mama-Luss_'."

"I'd rather die."

"Mou~, Fran-chan!"

"_VOIII!_" Attention from all the Varia members was immediately called upstairs when Squalo's unforgettable voice roared from above. Sure enough, their silver-haired second-in-command was standing at the top of the stairs, yelling with what seemed to be the maximum capacity of his lungs with his extreme volume. "All of you, shut the fuck up! Our boss is trying to sleep!"

Fran blinked up at him, both hands blocking his ears, "Speak for yourself, spiky-haired commander. You're the loudest of all. You're practically a walking megaphone."

"VOI! Are you trying to start a fight with me, brat?" Squalo shrieked back full-volume, waving a long metal bar around like a sword.

"There we go again," Fran mumbled in monotone, "Boss must really be into the 'screamer' types in bed..."

"AH? What was that?" Squalo raised his voice, "VOI! Speak up, you baby!"

Mammon, by this point, was fed up with all the noise and had up and left the room with her little box of money.

Lussuria raised a finger in a frighteningly motherly way, "Squa-chan~, if you keep on going at this rate, our dear Boss is gonna-"

SLAM.

Before Lussuria could finish his sentence, the man of the moment himself slammed open the door behind Squalo. Dark circles were present beneath his burning amber eyes. The boss of Varia was definitely not in a good mood today. Not only was his premium steak overcooked at lunch – which, by itself, was an outrage – but Xanxus had been preoccupied over the last few days with a surprise visit from his step-father from Italy. The old man persisted to 'hang out' with his son throughout his entire trip in Japan and only went back to Italy yesterday night. This thus resulted to Xanxus suffering many hours of ridiculous, endless 'old-times' chatter; Xanxus losing many hours of quality sleeping; and most importantly, Xanxus missing many nights he could've spent making a certain silver-haired shark scream beneath him.

"Trash," Xanxus growled, "You were supposed to shut the rest of the scum up. Why the hell were you walking around screeching like a fucking prostitute in heat?"

"Boss-" Squalo swung around abruptly, very nearly smacking Xanxus in the face with the metal bar he was holding.

Xanxus gritted his teeth and gripped Squalo's wrist harshly, pulling the silvernette towards himself, so close that their lips were inches apart from each other. Xanxus' deep red eyes glowed in hunger, "Damn noisy shark trash..."

"Oi, Boss! Let go-" Squalo squirmed but Xanxus only pressed him closer, gripping his hair violently with one hand. Squalo winced in pain, "_Xanxus!_"

"Anddd... that's my queue to leave," Fran quickly found his escape into another room – no one wanted to be around when Squalo and Xanxus had one of their 'fights'. Well, perhaps with exception of Lussuria and Levi. Fran mentally rolled his eyes. _Voyeurs._

It was good that Fran had an excuse to leave the common room anyway, since it was about time for him to report back to Dynamite on the situation of Varia. Fran had been snooping around, gathering information on Varia's weapon diversity, strengths and weaknesses, fighting strategies, sources for trade, and their income. On several occasions, Fran was almost caught. Mammon, being the observant money-obsessed bitch that she was, had been suspicious of Fran's interest in Varia's expenses. It had been a close one, but fortunately, Fran managed to pull it off as genuine curiosity. He knew not to mess with Mammon again, though. The girl was the most untrusting of the lot. Maybe it was a gender thing, Fran didn't know.

That being said, the one in Varia that was both the easiest and the hardest to fool was Prince the Ripper – Belphegor – also known to Fran as 'moronic idiotic fake-prince'. He was easy, because the prince could be so careless in giving away information, throwing away top secret details freely as though they were insignificant; but difficult, because – for some reason – Bel seemed to be able to tell right away whether Fran was lying or telling the truth. The prince's instincts were that of a genius'. He would be able to click information and clues together in a snap of a finger – if Fran were to slip up once in front of him, that would be it. Bel was also especially dangerous because the prince was the one who spent most time with Fran, and thus, most likely to catch him out.

It also didn't help that the two of them had a peculiar relationship going on, their intimacy and weird understanding of each other acting as a double-edged sword for Fran. Bel trusted him, but at the same time, he also knew Fran far too well. Fran had no idea how much of him Bel can really see through. When they kissed or when Bel touched him, Fran would subconsciously expose a bit more of himself. And when Bel snickered, or smiled like a young child, Bel would evoke in him strange _feelings_... feelings that Fran had never experienced and didn't know how to deal with – flutters in his chest, knots in his stomach. They were becoming troublesome, too.

But a job was a job, and no matter what those feelings were, Fran couldn't let them affect him.

Sighing internally, Fran dialed a number on his phone.

* * *

On the other side of the house, Belphegor had just returned from his trip to the candy store down the street. The prince was snickering gleefully as he thought about the frog-shaped gummies in his bag. He couldn't wait to see how Fran would react when he gave them to him – everybody knew Fran hated Bel's nickname for him with a passion. Bel could already imagine his Froggy rolling his eyes and throwing malicious insults at him with that unnervingly neutral expression.

"Ushishi~, the royal prince has arrived!" Bel announced grandly as he slammed the front door to the Varia's headquarters open. The prince then frowned when he noticed that the common room was empty, a very rare occurrence. Then, his eyes widened behind his bangs when Bel saw the scene going on upstairs. The boss of Varia had Squalo pressed to the wall and was kissing him vigorously, Xanxus' hands all over him as Squalo arched against his body. Bel gaped, "Whoa."

"Ah-!" Squalo yelped as he sprung away from Xanxus so quickly that he almost fell down the stairs.

"Watch it, scum," Xanxus had gripped his collar and dragged him back up in time, just before the fall. The boss then turned to look at Bel, who still had his mouth hanging open, "Fuck off, prince trash."

"...feels like seeing your parents making out," Bel said slowly, before he broke into a grin and snickered, "Ushishi~, why, the prince always knew Boss and Squalo were going at it!"

"Bel," Squalo grumbled, red-faced and panting. "Piss off."

"Ahh, alright then, the prince will leave you two to go back to sucking each other's face off!" Belphegor chimed cheerfully, "Bye-bii~!"

The two were back on each other even before Bel could exit the room. The prince could not stop himself from snickering like a little child who's seen something he shouldn't have. "Ushishi, I can't wait to tell Froggy!"

Belphegor had no idea when or how his thoughts became so caught up on Fran. Even now, the prince still did not realize how much attention he paid to his kouhai. Without noticing, Bel's days had become all about annoying his 'Froggy', pissing him off, and looking forward to kissing the life out of him. Fran had a hold on Bel which was a lot stronger than either of them knew, and the strange bond they shared was deeper than either of them understood.

Whistling a creepy tune as he traipsed around the house, Bel finally found his Frog in the storage room of Varia. Fran was hiding behind a pillar, and Bel decided he would give the little kouhai a bit of a spook. Grinning widely in anticipation of his plan, Bel sneaked up behind Fran, slowly, quietly.

Fran was talking to someone on the phone and did not even notice his presence. His voice was as monotone as usual, "Yes. I have. They've been stocking up again, recently. Prince the Ripper had just bought a whole set of new knives and wires-"

Bel raised an eyebrow, freezing in his stance. Why was Froggy talking about him to someone else? Who was this person?

"I told you already, I can't get near their information about money. Mammon's been watching me like a bloody viper," Fran shook his head. "No. No- I just said- wow. M.M., are you deaf or something?"

Bel narrowed his eyes. '_M.M.' _That was a name he heard before. It wasn't common, so Bel could picture the girl almost immediately, remembering how he thought her name sounded like a chocolate candy he enjoyed. Bright purple eyes, slick bright red bob, with a too-short mini-skirt and a red scarf tied to her thigh. _Red scarf. _Bel's brain was rapidly snapping and associating the information together. _She's in Dynamite. Yes. That's where I've seen her._

_ Why does Froggy know her? _Bel rolled in his lips. _More importantly, why is he telling information about Varia to a Dynamite member?_

In reality, Belphegor knew the second he heard Fran call M.M.'s name what exactly was going on. The prince, for all his immature acts, was incredibly intelligent. It didn't even require an ounce of his brainpower to realize what Fran was, and had been, all this time. Yes. Bel knew. But a part of the prince didn't believe it. Bel didn't _want_ to believe it.

_M.M. is the main information gatherer of Dynamite. _Bel remembered Squalo had told him that. _Of course. _Every piece of information seemed to fit together like a bright neon jigsaw that blared in the prince's face what Bel didn't want to acknowledge.

_'Bel-senpai, why do you need wires when you already use knives? What do you even use the wires for?'_

_ 'Ne, ne, moron-senpai. When does our boss fight? Can he even fight? All I see is him being angry and yelling at the spiky-haired commander.'_

_ 'Ahh. So Levi-senpai does have a use after all. I thought he was just here to stalk our mad-tempered boss. Where did you say he got the supplies again? I wasn't really listening, sorry Bel-senpai. Most of the time you talk nonsense so I spaced out.'_

It all made sense now – Fran's curious questions, those green eyes that observed everything with such detail. The way Fran's eyes flickered suspiciously whenever Bel asked him why he wanted to join Varia. That monotone voice that was so good at hiding emotion – that neutral face, so plain and emotionless as though it was trained to be a mask. _A mask. _All along, Bel sensed there was something a little off about Fran. Bel had seen all the signs but the prince had decided to ignore them, playing them off as Fran's many strange quirks. Thinking about that now, Bel could not believe he had let it go on for this long. How could Bel not have linked this together sooner? How could Bel not have known until now?

Fran was a spy.

Acting instantly, Bel strode up to Fran and quickly locked his slim arms behind his back, pressing a knife to Fran's throat. Fran stiffened, dropping his phone. Bel stepped on it, uncaringly crushing it under his feet.

"Bel-senpai," Fran breathed, recognizing Bel's scent.

"Stay still," the prince hissed through gritted teeth. "Or the prince will cut you."

Fran was nervous, but he didn't show it. Swallowing against the cool blade on his neck, Fran spoke in monotone, "Idiot-senpai, what are you playing at this time?"

"Shut it, Frog," Bel pressed the blade in just enough to make Fran bleed. The sting of the wound immediately let Fran know that the prince wasn't joking around.

Thoughts of Bel fighting against members of other gangs came to Fran's mind. He remembered Bel's wide smile, his creepy snicker as he toyed with his opponent and cut them like they were lifeless dummies. Not enough to kill them, no. But enough to make them bleed red and cover their whole body with blood. Bel had told him with a giggle that he especially liked breaking a wound near the eyebrow region because the blood would drip into the victim's eyes and make them see Bel tinted red as well.

Belphegor wasn't called Prince the Ripper for nothing. The prince was scary, and Fran was only beginning to realize that now that he was under the Ripper's blade himself.

"The prince had never seen you look so rattled, Froggy," Bel whispered behind his ear, "Ah, wait. I have seen it. Yes, I do like seeing you get all nervous when I stick my tongue down your throat. Tell me, Frog, was that all part of the plan as well?"

"...no," Fran answered honestly. _Kissing you was never part of the plan. It was a slip up. It was never supposed to happen. It made me expose too much of myself._

"Liar," the prince hissed. "Liar, liar, pants on fire. You were planning to distract me from the beginning, weren't you? The prince would've noticed this much sooner if it weren't for your slutty ways."

Fran closed his eyes. There was nothing he could've said, no excuses he could've made. Bel had caught him, the prince now saw him as a traitor. No matter what he said, Bel wouldn't believe him.

"You're a smart one, aren't you, Frog?" Bel murmured, "Luring me in, making me trust you. I told you all my knife secrets, all my wire tricks. You must've taken the prince for such a _fool_."

It was in that moment that Bel felt a little tug in his chest. An ache. It was a feeling Bel was unused to – and Bel was appalled to discover that he felt betrayed. Upset. Even – ridiculous as it was – _hurt_ by Fran's actions.

_How dare you, Froggy? _

Clenching his hands and trying to shake the emotions away, Bel dug the knife deeper into Fran's flesh, dragging the tip of his blade down to Fran's collar bone.

"Senpai-" Fran mumbled tonelessly, grabbing Bel's wrist. "Hurts."

"Shut up. I don't give a damn."

_How dare you make the prince feel this way?_

In spite, Bel latched his lips onto the back of Fran's neck and sucked him hard. Fran gasped quietly in surprised, and Bel bit him, sinking his teeth into Fran's skin. Fran writhed in his hold but Bel held him firm, not releasing him even when the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. The prince had bitten Fran so hard that the blood trickled out of the corner of his lips. Fran desperately twisted his body, trying to escape but only causing the knife in Bel's hand to cut into his shoulders.

"Bel-senpai..." Fran whimpered, although his voice still miraculously managed to remain in monotone. Fran's pale hands were trembling as Bel's teeth sunk deeper into him. It felt as if Bel was going to bite his flesh off, eat him whole. He shuddered.

_Good. _Bel thought, sensing Fran's fear. _Yes, Froggy, suffer. You deserve it. You deserve it all for doing this to the prince._

When Bel finally released his mouth off Fran, his lips were painted bloody and Fran's face was blanched white. The prince thought the bleeding bite mark looked pretty on Fran's pale skin. To punish him further, Bel dug a finger into the wound and watched as Fran's eyes widened in pain.

But instead of feeling satisfied, Bel just felt bitter. Instead of feeling excited at the taste of blood on his tongue, the prince just felt sick. And Belphegor was frustrated because he couldn't understand why.

_What the hell...? _

_What have you done, Froggy?_

_ What the fuck have you done to me?_

Clasping Fran's chin in his hand like a metal grip, Bel twisted Fran's face to look at him. Those emerald eyes were quivering, looking at the prince as though he was a complete stranger. As if they never shared as many breath-baiting kisses as they did, as if they've never fought side by side, as if Fran had never slept curled up in Bel's arms, as if they didn't understand each other in that almost psychologically linked way that was unique to them and them alone. It was as though Fran was yet another unfortunate victim who only saw Belphegor as Prince the Ripper and not his impossible senpai. And Bel found that there was nothing he hated more than seeing Fran look at him that way.

_You ruined it. You're the one who ruined it, Froggy, so don't you fucking look at me like that._

"You will pay, Frog," Bel murmured threateningly, tapping the tip of his knife down Fran's sternum. "And don't you even _think _about escaping from the prince until he's satisfied."

Fran shivered, avoiding looking at Bel's eyes under those blonde bangs. Who knew what the limits were to the prince's satisfaction?

"As for Dynamite..." Bel's lips stretched into a wicked, malicious grin, "They'll regret ever messing with Varia."

* * *

**4.08pm**

Yamamoto was casually strolling along the streets of his neighborhood as he returned home from a much-missed baseball practice. He didn't even realize how much he missed it until he was back on the field, feeling his adrenaline pump through his veins as he swung the bat, threw the ball, and heard the satisfying _clump_ as the ball hit his gloves in a perfect catch.

_Gokudera was right. _Yamamoto smiled as he thought of the emerald-eyed silvernette.

'_You're a baseball-idiot. You're supposed to go play fucking baseball.' _Gokudera had told him as he tried to convince Yamamoto to return to his daily school life. _'I'm not going to suddenly up and die just because you're not here, moron. Stop being so damn paranoid and go live your own life for a change. I don't want to be the cause when you shrivel up and die from baseball-deprivation.'_

Gokudera had made Yamamoto promise not to go visit him today, and instead, find some time for himself. Yamamoto had been reluctant at first, but now he felt like he wanted to thank Gokudera. He hadn't felt this refreshed in ages. Gokudera really did know Yamamoto so well to see how much he missed being on the fields even though Yamamoto couldn't see it himself. And yes, Yamamoto did miss Gokudera. After spending so many days being with him almost 24/7, it was only natural. But the separation was nice for a change. Yamamoto had been so focused on Gokudera and so – in Gokudera's words – 'paranoid' about the silvernette's health and wellbeing that he hadn't been able to spend any time with Tsuna and the others recently. It felt good to hang around after school, catching up with what everyone had been up to. That being said, Yamamoto still did wish Gokudera could've been there with the rest of them as well.

'_I love you'. _Ever since Gokudera had told him, Yamamoto had been on Cloud Nine and attached to Gokudera even more than before. Gokudera had to roll his eyes and push him away on several occasions, but Yamamoto knew the silvernette didn't really mind. In a way, Yammaoto sort of always knew this was how Gokudera felt. After all, Gokudera did endure so much just to be with him. And there was always a little spark in those emerald eyes when Gokudera looked at him – so Yamamoto sort of knew all along. But no way in hell did Yamamoto ever expect to hear the words from Gokudera's lips.

The words had cleared Yamamoto's mind like a big sweeper that blew all the mess into place. His feelings for Gokudera were distinct and the immature jealousy Yamamoto had felt when he talked on the phone with Hibari had dissipated. Of course, Yamamoto was still upset that Hibari was with another man. But it was a different sort of emotion. Yamamoto was no longer a child throwing a tantrum because his favorite toy was taken from him, but he was a man who was hurt that someone he loved might just not love him back.

However, the pain wasn't too bad when a large part of Yamamoto's heart soared when Gokudera laughed, and warmed when Gokudera curled up against him. Yes, Yamamoto loved Hibari, but he also loved Gokudera – a fact that was blindsided by his raging jealousy not too long ago. But Yamamoto's head was clear now. And the more time he spent with the silvernette, the more numbed out the throb from thinking about Hibari became – and the heart that was once halved perfectly into two was maybe becoming just a little heavier on one side.

Someone said that if you try to fix something broken, you will only get your hands cut. For Yamamoto, the cut was quite literal – the gash on his arm still in the process of healing. But it was worth it. Gokudera was so worth every wound and heartache and argument and frustration. Yamamoto would not hesitate to go through it all again if it meant he would have Gokudera by his side. Just thinking about the way those emerald eyes shone every time Gokudera woke up and saw Yamamoto's face had Yamamoto grinning like an idiot.

Yamamoto whistled happily as he continued to walk back home before, all of a sudden, he came to a halt, the Namimori High School's anthem cut short mid-song. The front door of his house was blocked by a car. Since Yamamoto's house was also a sushi restaurant, having cars parked in front of the gate was not unusual. What was unusual was that this car was not any typical family car. It was an all-black Lamborghini with darkly filmed windows. It looked bizarrely out of place in such a simple neighborhood, like someone had cut out a picture from a showroom's brochure and stuck it on a child's coloring book. Furthermore, as if the car alone wasn't suspicious enough, two large-bodied smartly-dressed men were guarding it. The mothers from neighboring houses were poking their heads out of the windows to not-so-subtly stare.

As Yamamoto cautiously approached his house, one of the guards spotted him and mumbled something into his earpiece. Yamamoto momentarily panicked, thinking that he was about to be kidnapped and sold off for his organs. But just as he was about to pull out his baseball bat and get ready to whack, the door of the car swung open.

And Yamamoto's heart sunk as he saw the person he least expected to see that day.

"Hibari..." Yamamoto breathed, not really sure what to think or how to act. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to see Hibari. The whole thing with Hibari being with another man was still settling on him and Yamamoto didn't have enough time to organize his feelings yet. He didn't understand what was going on. Why was Hibari here? Weren't they on a 'break'? And why in the world did Hibari come out of a car that looked like it belonged to the mafia?

"Yamamoto Takeshi," Hibari's eyes were as dark and sharp as Yamamoto remembered. But something was definitely... different about him. The air around him was lighter, almost. Yamamoto didn't know whether that was a good or bad sign. But Hibari was using his full name, so Yamamoto knew the Skylark wasn't playing around.

"Can I come in?" Hibari asked, but Yamamoto knew he didn't really have a choice. The question was more of a polite gesture; the look in Hibari's eyes already dictated the answer.

And Yamamoto knew that it meant either a storm was coming, or the clouds that loomed over him were finally breaking away for good.

"...sure."

* * *

**A/N: **Yay for cliffhanger! :D For Gokudera AND Fran AND Yamamoto. It's a triple cliffie! Weee.

Many of you guys wanted Varia to make their appearance. Finally, they have made their return! :D Too bad it all went downhill with Bel and Fran. Hopefully the little XS snippet compensates?

And oh, you guys have been brilliant on reviewing the last chapter! :D Thank you so much for your comments! I love reading all of your reviews. *cuddles* (Seems like my 'no reviews = no updates' system have caused some panic, haha.) And oh look! What's this I have here in my hands? CHAPTER 25 – all complete! But unless you review, chapter 25 will be locked in its tower like freaking Rapunzel until the Evil Witch (aka: ME) is satisfied.

Got it? PLEASE REVIEW! ;)

Ps. Happy New Year, all you wonderful people! :D xx


	25. Breaking Point

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, PTSD, a LOT of violence/abuse.

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

**4.18pm**

'Awkward' doesn't even _begin_ to describe the atmosphere between Yamamoto and Hibari as they sat adjacent to one another in Yamamoto's bedroom. Frankly, this wasn't unexpected. How were two people who both cheated on each other supposed to act towards one another, anyway? What were they supposed to say? It also didn't help that the two people were Yamamoto, who seemed to always fail at attempting small talk, and Hibari, whose typical form of communication was glaring.

So they sat there in silence – Yamamoto fidgeting with his fingers; Hibari observing the wall like it was the most spectacular piece of artwork he'd ever seen. They continued on like that for about ten torturing minutes, before Hibari realized that this was stupid and was going nowhere.

Thus, the Skylark did what he did best – he glared at Yamamoto to make conversation.

Yamamoto, under pressure, said the first thing that came to his mind, "Uh... nice car."

Yup. Master of small talks he was, that Yamamoto Takeshi. But a start was better than nothing at all.

Hibari shrugged, "Not mine."

"Oh." Yamamoto said intelligently.

"Hn," was Hibari's equally intelligent reply.

_God, this is going nowhere..._

"So..." Yamamoto struggled, "Whose car is it? Your family's?"

"No."

"Rent?"

Hibari shook his head.

"...looks like something belonging to an evil mafia family," Yamamoto joked.

_Bingo. _Hibari thought, remaining quiet.

"Then..." Yamamoto was unable to drag it on any further. It was getting ridiculous. No more beating around the bush; time to get to the point. In a low voice, Yamamoto tried, "..._Dino Cavallone_?"

Hibari's dark eyes shot up at that. "How do you know that name?"

"Mukuro told me about you and him," Yamamoto answered honestly.

_Tch. Annoying bastard, sticking his nose in everything. _Hibari turned his head and cursed under his breath.

It was in that moment that Yamamoto saw the very deep, dark purple bruise on Hibari's pale neck. Then, as though a trigger have been pulled, Yamamoto began noticing other things too. Hibari's lips were a little swollen, his dark eyes a little glazed, and his light skin was practically glowing. And now that Yamamoto thought about it, Hibari's walk was a little off as they made their way up the stairs as well.

_Did Hibari...?_

As realization dawned on him, Yamamoto gritted his teeth, unable to stop the pain from burning in his chest. It wasn't just jealousy, it was _hurt_. Even though Yamamoto had Gokudera, the only person who he had ever been so intimate with was still Hibari. And to him, the moment was special. Yamamoto felt like he shared a part of him with Hibari that night – an unexposed, vulnerable part never revealed to anyone before. Yamamoto had thought that the Skylark felt the same. The idea that it could be something _less_ to Hibari than what it was to Yamamoto, and that Hibari could so easily share something so _significant_ with somebody else just... hurt.

"It _is_ him, then?" Yamamoto found it difficult to speak with such a heavy feeling in his chest, a hard lump at the base of his throat.

Hibari nodded slowly. There was no point in lying. "...yes."

Their eyes met, and Hibari felt a strong ache pulling at his heart. It was strange. Hibari thought that he wouldn't care how Yamamoto felt because it bloody served him right for cheating on him with Gokudera. But Hibari cared. Hibari cared a _lot_. And the Skylark did not expect this but it still pained him to think of Yamamoto being with Gokudera – and Yamamoto, sitting there looking like a kicked puppy... it pained Hibari to see him like that too.

_What is this? _Hibari wondered. He didn't understand why it hurt.

"Mm," Yamamoto clenched his fists. _Of course._ He expected as much. Of course, it was Dino. A bitter smile graced his features as he tried, with effort, to not hide his face away from Hibari. "...two years, huh?"

"Hn," Hibari rolled in his lips. _Why does it hurt?_

"That's... impressive," Yamamoto was finding it harder to breathe. The unrelenting pain was suffocating him. _No. Stop it. I can't behave like this. _Yamamoto forced a smile, "I'm- I'm happy for... I mean, I hope..."

Yamamoto couldn't make himself utter the words. He mentally swore. _Come on. You can do this. Smile. _But Yamamoto found that his smile was crumbling right off his face, and all of a sudden everything was blurry and he couldn't look at Hibari anymore. It hurt too much to look at something he was about to lose, knowing there was nothing he could do to change it. Yamamoto turned his face downwards, hiding his pained expression, taking deep breaths to steady his emotions.

Hibari couldn't stand it. Seeing Yamamoto – happy, cheerful, bright as the sky, Yamamoto – so down and hurt gave Hibari a horrible feeling in his gut. And as much as it was Yamamoto's own fault, it was partially Hibari's doing too. And the Skylark just couldn't see Yamamoto like this. He hated seeing Yamamoto like this. This would not be how they parted – this would not be how they would say goodbye.

Standing up slowly, Hibari made his way towards Yamamoto before he gently ran his fingers through Yamamoto's hair.

Yamamoto's breath shuddered under his touch. He grabbed Hibari's hand and pressed his lips to it ardently, savouring that scent of cherry blossoms one last time. His voice was laced with anguish, "_Kyouya..._"

Hibari's breath hitched. He shook his head but did not pull his hand away. "...don't."

_Don't make this harder for both of us._

Suppressing the pain wracking through him, Yamamoto looked up at Hibari, eyes red from holding back tears. "He was your first love, wasn't he?"

Hibari was reluctant, but he nodded. "Mm."

Yamamoto grabbed his hand tighter before he stood up and wrapped Hibari within his arms. Hibari allowed the embrace. Pressed to his body, Yamamoto was as warm as he remembered. Yamamoto's lips were by his ears as he breathed, almost inaudibly, "...you're _my_ first love, Kyouya."

"Hn." _I know. _Hibari closed his eyes, letting his arms curl around Yamamoto's back. Yamamoto's heart was beating hard against his ear. _Since_ _when did he grow so tall? _

"Dino Cavallone," Yamamoto exhaled faintly down Hibari's neck, "You love him?"

"...yes," Hibari replied quietly, but with no hesitation. Then, as his thoughts wandered to the blonde Italian waiting for him downstairs – Dino probably getting all agitated with how long he had been gone – Hibari couldn't hold back a little smile. _God,_ _I'm turning into a sap. _

Yamamoto saw, and that was when he knew he could let the Skylark go. Ever since Yamamoto had met Hibari, all he wanted was to see Hibari happy. It was clear to him now that Dino was the one who could make that happen – and he could do it better than Yamamoto, even.

And even though it still hurt pretty badly, Yamamoto knew he would be okay.

Feeling as though it really was the last time, Yamamoto held Hibari close, burying his nose into his hair. _My Kyouya... _He pressed a long kiss to the Skylark's forehead, lingered for a heart-aching second, before releasing him from his arms. _No longer mine. _Holding Hibari at shoulder-length, Yamamoto managed a weak smile. "Okay."

"And you," Hibari mumbled softly, looking up into Yamamoto's eyes with his own dark, sharp ones. "Do you love Gokudera Hayato?"

The question was completely unexpected, right out of the blue. It took Yamamoto by surprise. But as he thought of those emerald eyes and that scowling face of the silvernette, the pain inside of him began to numb around the edges. Yamamoto's smile softened. "...yeah."

"Hn," Hibari nodded, "Good."

The way Hibari said it – so approvingly, with arms crossed as though he was a teacher examining a student's work – made Yamamoto let out a little lighthearted chuckle. And Hibari was relieved, because, there it was – the Yamamoto he knew; the Yamamoto that cracked open the heavy concrete shield around Hibari's heart and earned his own little space inside.

And even though Hibari loved Dino, a little piece of him would always care for Yamamoto – just as how Yamamoto would forever have a part of him that would never forget Hibari, no matter how wholeheartedly he loved Gokudera.

Because Hibari was Cloud and Yamamoto was Rain – and like Cloud and Rain, they would always have a part of each other; even though Clouds remained in the Sky and Storm always came with Rain.

"You should be going," Yamamoto said, glancing out of the window and seeing the black Lamborghini still there. Next to the two guards was now a handsome blonde man leaning casually on the side of the car, his face looking up towards Yamamoto's bedroom window. For a split second, Dino's eyes met Yamamoto's. The man gave him a little nod, letting Yamamoto know that it was time to return the Skylark to where he belonged. "He's waiting for you."

"Hn," Hibari nodded. The Skylark squeezed Yamamoto's hand firmly once, his dark eyes appearing deeper than usual. And Yamamoto was caught in those eyes, even as Hibari turned away and walked towards the door in slow but firm steps.

_This is real. _Yamamoto realised, as he watched the Skylark go. _This is goodbye._

Right before Hibari could turn the knob and leave, Yamamoto abruptly spoke up. "Kyouya-!"

Hibari turned only his head around to look at him with dark, questioning eyes.

Yamamoto smiled as he spoke, gentle voice barely above a whisper, "...I'll miss you."

Hibari was still and silent for a moment. Then, without breaking eye contact, his lips moved, forming the shapes of words without actually voicing them.

"_Me too."_

And then the door was shut and the Skylark was gone.

Yamamoto waited until he heard Dino's car driving off before he flopped down on his bed, buried his head in a pillow, and cried like a child.

* * *

**7.34pm**

Gokudera stood in front of the apartment shown in the map given to him by Mukuro. He had been here before, once, but he did not remember what the exterior of the place looked like. Last time, Gokudera was unconscious when he was brought in, and by the time he was rescued out... Gokudera did not want to think about that. It was a state of himself he would rather not revisit.

Takumi lived on the fifth floor, according to the information Mukuro gave him. Gokudera could see the windows from the ground. The lights were on – which was good, because it meant his target was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Taking a deep breath, Gokudera traced the knife he hid down the leg of his pants. He had been touching it quite frequently, making sure that it was still there. Gokudera may never have the chance or the guts to do this again – tonight was the night this knife would taste Takumi's blood and take his life with it.

At first, Gokudera thought about using a gun. But the silvernette was much more comfortable with handling a knife. Plus, a bullet wound was too sudden, too quick of a death and not enough blood lost. Gokudera wanted that bastard to feel _pain_. He wanted that lowlife to feel every ounce of pain inflicted on him.

Checking the time on his mobile phone, Gokudera decided it was time to alert Dynamite on what he was planning to do. He didn't tell any of them earlier because they would definitely try to stop him – tell him it was too dangerous, that he wasn't ready, that he was not yet strong enough for this. If the Dynamite's attempt didn't work, they would get Yamamoto to convince him. And that wouldn't do because Gokudera needed this – he needed to do this for himself, and he needed to do it _now_.

Gokudera texted Spanner.

[T's dead 2nite. -G]

Spanner was the type of person who had his phone on silent, without vibrate. If Gokudera estimated correctly, the mechanic would still be busy obsessing over some machine in the garage with Shouichi and would not check his phone for at least half an hour. And if by then, Gokudera still hadn't returned home, Spanner would immediately come for him with some back-up.

_Not that I would even need it. _Gokudera convinced himself as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. _This is easy. This is too easy. I'd be done within ten minutes tops._

_ Yes, Smoking Bomb. We can do this. I can do this. I can fucking do this._

However, as Gokudera was psyching himself up, something happened. Something bad.

An arm shot out of nowhere. Behind him. From the dark. It wrung around his neck, clasping his mouth, and Gokudera found his arms locked behind his back.

The distinct smell of alcohol, cigarettes and weed immediately hit him.

_No. _Gokudera froze, his heart dropping to his feet. _No. This isn't possible. NO. The lights are on, he should be inside- he should be BLOODY INSIDE in his FUCKING APARTMENT- NO- he CAN'T be-_

"Well, _look_ what we have here," The voice and breath crept down his neck like spiders. "What's a cute kitty like you sneaking around my apartment for, _Haya-chan_?"

Gokudera wanted to scream. He might've done so if Takumi hadn't clamped his mouth shut. Pushing and writhing away for his life, Gokudera could feel his heart beating erratically in his chest. But Takumi, for his scrawny drug-addict image, was much stronger than he looked. Gokudera stomped and bit and wriggled with all his power but the man's arms just refused to budge.

"Did you miss me so much you _had_ to come back?" Takumi's lips were grazing his ears and Gokudera shivered. The bastard chuckled, dipping his tongue into the shell of Gokudera's ears, "You little fool... how hard shall I _fuck_ you this time?"

Gokudera whimpered, feeling desperate tears forming in his eyes. He tried to fight Takumi again, but it was no use. Takumi's grip was so tight it was bruising, and the more Gokudera struggled, the closer Takumi held him. The scent of Takumi, his voice, and the sound of his breath brought back the worst memories of that night. The cigarette burns, the choking, the taste, the beatings, the blood, the screaming...

Gokudera screwed his eyes shut as hot, fresh tears rolled down his face and he sobbed into Takumi's hand. His entire body was shaking, convulsing with fear, and his fingers were trembling so much it was like he was about to go into a seizure. Gokudera tried to gasp for breath but his lips were closed shut and all he could do was breathe harshly through his nose. This reminded him of when Takumi forced that disgusting organ down his throat, and Gokudera cried harder, feeling like he needed to throw up.

The Dynamites were right. Gokudera was_ not_ ready for this. He was not ready to face this monster without instantly breaking into a panic attack; he was not ready to see Takumi without crumbling to pieces... because this man – if he was even human at all – _terrified_ Gokudera.

_Help. Help. Please. Help me. Anybody. PLEASE-_

"_Shhh_," Takumi hushed him, licking right down the nape of his neck. Gokudera shuddered as though Takumi's tongue was a slug on his skin. Takumi sloppily kissed his tear-streaked cheek, "Shh, don't cry, Haya-chan. It's okay."

_Please. Please help me. Don't make go through that again. I don't want to go through that again. Please. Please..._

Takumi was beginning to drag him inside of the apartment. Gokudera's wet eyes widened in horror.

_No. No. No no no no no NO NO-_

_ "_Shhh,_" _Takumi smirked, "Let's go to the bedroom now, okay?"

Gokudera screamed into the monster's hand.

* * *

**7.48pm**

[T's dead 2nite. -G]

Spanner groaned as soon as he saw the message.

Oh, his best friend could be so _stupid_ sometimes.

"Spanner?" Irie Shouichi looked up from his laptop, wired to a mini-robot he was trying to function. "What's wrong?"

"Hayato's being an idiot," Spanner grumbled, crunching the lollipop in his mouth. The mechanic was moving fast, throwing various things into his backpack – Shouichi recognized them as homemade weapons of nail-embedded cricket bats, gas bombs, etc. plus a first aid kit. "He's going after that bastard Takumi."

"Uh-oh," Shouichi said grimly, having seen first-hand how Gokudera was like after his last encounter with Takumi. "That's a bad idea. Really bad."

"Which is _exactly_ why he's an idiot," Spanner finished packing his bag and zipped it up. "And why I have to go save his ass." Spanner managed a little smirk. "Like, _literally_."

Shouichi knocked Spanner's forehead with his knuckles, "_Not _the time to be joking."

Spanner pecked Shouichi's cheek, "Sorry, sorr-"

BANG.

Both mechanics' eyes grew wide as a loud sound came from outside of the garage.

Shouichi gripped Spanner's wrist, "What was tha-"

CRASH. BANG.

Spanner frowned. _Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. Not now._

"VOII! If you shitheads think you can just fuck with Varia and get away with it then you're dumb as fuck! Nobody _fucks_ with _Varia_! You're as good as dead, fucking Dynamite scum!"

CRASH. CRASH. BANG.

"_Shit._" Spanner swore. This was bad. This was really bad. _That _was a voice he definitely recognized. _...why the hell is Varia attacking now, of all times? With their strongest members, too. _Spanner needed to act, and act fast. The fighting was already beginning outside of the garage. Spanner could hear M.M.'s voice screeching out orders at the Dynamite underlings; Skull with his infamous battle cry.

They needed him, Spanner realized. Varia was stronger than ever, and Dynamite needed every skilled member they've got. But right now, Gokudera needed him too. Hell, Gokudera might need even more than one member of Dynamite. Spanner clutched his hair, "Shit. Shitshitshitshit_shit_-"

BANG. CRASH.

"Spanner!" Shouichi shook the blonde to his senses, his own eyes panicked behind the lens of his glasses. "What do we do?"

"_You_ stay in here," Spanner found Shouichi a hiding place behind a row of particularly large machines they were working on. "Don't come out unless someone from our side calls you, okay?"

"Okay," Shouichi nodded.

"Alright," Spanner pulled out his favourite metal weapon and had it ready in his right hand. His left hand grabbed for his mobile, "Now, I need to make some phone calls-"

* * *

**7.59pm**

Gokudera's knife was stripped away from his reach, and he was tied to the bed in the exact same position as last time – legs apart, arms apart, completely exposed. This time, however, Takumi gagged him as well. The fabric on his lips was so dry and tight that Gokudera could feel his bottom lip splitting – the coppery taste of blood and tears on the tip of his tongue.

Gokudera had cried and screamed so much that his throat was beginning to croak. All his thrashing around had also earned him rope burns on his wrists and ankles as well as three hits to his body; two to his face, and one hard fist to his lower stomach. The latter left Gokudera in so much pain he couldn't even whimper for a while.

Takumi was now using Gokudera's knife to cut his clothes off him. Gokudera shivered, hating the feel of metal brushing against his skin, hating Takumi's hands on him, hating that he couldn't do anything about it, and hating, hating, _hating_ Takumi. Gokudera hated Takumi so much simply being in his presence made him want to hurl. His body was physically reacting negatively to being in close proximity to the guy.

The monster looked different now that he was in the light. Takumi had a large, deep bruise across his face, and stitches on one of his eyebrows and on his lips. Two of his fingers were also bandaged with supporting splints.

Takumi caught Gokudera staring at the splints. He scoffed. "Wondering how I got this? Well, Haya-chan, your _darling _friends from Dynamite came around and _ambushed_ me when I was coming home from a party. Roughed me up – snapped my fingers. Don't tell me you didn't know about this?"

Gokudera had never heard a single word of it. He shook his head quickly.

"Don't lie, _Haya-chan_," Takumi cooed as he cut down the centre of Gokudera's shirt. "You probably set the whole thing up, didn't you? A little revenge on your part, hm? Too bad I was so drunk by then that I don't remember most of it. You must be disappointed your petty plan didn't work out, eh?"

Gokudera shook his head again, green eyes pleading.

"_Lying little kitty_," Takumi smirked, running the tip of his knife down Gokudera's middle finger and drawing tiny droplets of blood. "What about it? Shall I return the favour?"

"Mmmph-!" Gokudera cried through the gag as Takumi's good hand wrapped around his finger. Tears were leaking out of his eyes as he shook his head desperately, terror overcoming him. Takumi stroked his finger lovingly and Gokudera sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut, too scared to even move.

Seeing this, Takumi burst out laughing like a maniac. Gokudera couldn't even look at him. But Takumi's hand was on his chin and clamping his jaw like a metal grip, forcing Gokudera's face to turn towards him even though his eyes were closed. "Aww, Haya-chan, you look _so_ terrified, you poor thing! Don't worry, don't worry. I'm not into the business of breaking bones. It's just not my – how shall I say this – _style_. Yes. I'm not a 'break-bones' kind of person."

Not relieved in the slightest, Gokudera opened his eyes to glare at the monster on top of him. He didn't want to show anymore fear. This bastard _got off_ seeing fear, and Gokudera was not going to satisfy him in that respect. But it was difficult, because the mere sight of Takumi alone made Gokudera's skin crawl. Everything Takumi was and everything he did – Gokudera found it disgusting. Disturbing.

_Scary._

"But then again, you _did_ go through the effort to bring this _lovely_ knife here with you..." Takumi's eyes were gleaming as he twisted the knife admiringly in his hands. "To use it on me, perhaps? To... _kill_ me?"

Takumi giggled. It was the most horrible sound Gokudera ever heard. The silvernette trembled, not knowing what nightmare was coming next.

"Too bad for you, Haya-chan..." Takumi grinned – a sickening, terrifying grin, "...I just happen to be a _knife_ kind of person."

And without a second to spare, Takumi stabbed the knife right through Gokudera's palm – all the way through to the bed mattress, right to the hilt of the knife, effectively pinning Gokudera's bloody hand there.

Gokudera shrieked until his throat gave out.

* * *

**8.11pm**

Yamamoto was running. No, Yamamoto was sprinting.

As soon as Spanner told him what was going on, Yamamoto instantly grabbed a baseball bat, got on his motorcycle and sped down the streets and roads, not caring about speed limits and running through red lights left and right. Gokudera's mini motorcycle session was proving to be quite useful now that Yamamoto was driving like a color gang member himself – so fast he would put even some of the better riders to shame. It was also fortunate that Yamamoto had done delivering work for his father before, so he knew what building Spanner was talking about immediately. As he kept on speeding, Yamamoto's thoughts were focused on the silvernette and him alone.

_Gokudera. Gokudera._

_ Why did you do this? Why didn't you tell me?_

And now Yamamoto was sprinting up the stairs of the apartment because the elevators were too slow and he just _had_ to go to Gokudera _right now_.

_Fifth floor, fifth floor..._

_ Gokudera... _

When Yamamoto reached the designated floor, he didn't even need to search for the room because he could _hear _Gokudera's voice. And, oh god, Gokudera was _screaming_...

Gripping his baseball bat tight in his sweaty hands, Yamamoto kicked the door with all his force. And Yamamoto didn't even know where such power in him came from, but the door gave in after only his second try.

There was a man smoking a roll of something which smelled like burnt grass on the floor of the living room. He stared wide-eyed at Yamamoto and pointed to him in delayed alarm, "Oi... kiddo..."

Yamamoto didn't give him the chance to finish because he could hear Gokudera screaming again and without thinking, Yamamoto kicked the guy upside his head. The smoking man dropped to the floor, immediately unconscious. Conveniently, this man had left his keys before him on the table. Yamamoto grabbed the keys and rushed to the bedroom Gokudera's voice was coming from. Fumbling to find the right key, Yamamoto flinched and panicked more with every pained noise Gokudera made.

_I'm going to kill that piece of lowlife, I swear... _Yamamoto cursed as he threw away another useless key. Gokudera's muffled cry came through the door, and Yamamoto was on the verge of physically breaking down the door when suddenly, the knob turned and the key worked.

Swinging the door open, Yamamoto froze at the sight before him.

Gokudera was tied to the bed, gagged, completely naked, with little bleeding cuts all over his pale body – some deeper and larger than others. There was a particularly gruesome gash on his upper arm, and Gokudera's left hand had a knife through it. His face was wet with tears, and the gag over his lips was stained with blood. The look in those emerald eyes was heartbreaking.

Takumi, that demon, was _laughing_ as he crouched over Gokudera and was drawing a cut down Gokudera's cheek with a pocket knife.

Yamamoto was so angry he was shaking. But just as he was about to smack Takumi across the head and crack his skull open with his baseball bat, the bastard turned around and saw him.

And Yamamoto was too far to reach him before Takumi could reach the gun that was on the bedside. That gun now pointed at Yamamoto, and the manic look in Takumi's eyes told him that this monster will not hesitate to shoot.

"Drop the bat, kid," Takumi slowly got off Gokudera's body, the gun never leaving its aim on Yamamoto. "Drop it. Now!"

Yamamoto did as he was told, raising his hands above his head submissively. His eyes found Gokudera's, and Gokudera blinked through tears, concern for Yamamoto shining clear in those emerald pools.

"Good," Takumi nodded. "Now move away from the bat. Slowly."

Yamamoto was giving Gokudera a meaningful look.

_I didn't save you last time. This time, I will._

Gokudera shook his head, silently telling Yamamoto not to do anything stupid.

"Oi. Stop looking at each other!" Takumi yelled, "And I told you to move!"

The event that happened next, Gokudera saw in slow-motion through teary eyes.

Yamamoto turned his body and kicked the gun right out of Takumi's hand. The gun went flying, dropping somewhere on the ground far away. Takumi wasn't expecting Yamamoto to do something so drastic, and thus, wasn't prepared to counter-attack. The guy quickly fumbled for his pocket knife, but Yamamoto was faster. He picked up his baseball bat from the ground, and with his best swing as the ace player of the Namimori High School baseball team, Yamamoto whacked Takumi right in the ribs.

CRAAACK-!

Bone-cracking sounds were heard as Takumi took the impact and fell to the ground, wheezing as he clutched the injured side of his torso and groaned loudly in pain. Yamamoto was about to whack at him again for good measure, but the bastard cowered over, raising his arms to protect himself – and Yamamoto just couldn't do it. It wasn't in Yamamoto's nature to hit someone in such a pitiful state – and it wasn't his priority to hurt Takumi. His priority was Gokudera.

Yamamoto rested his baseball bat on the bed before he quickly removed the gag over Gokudera's mouth. The silvernette's bottom lip was split and darkened to a horrible purple color. It made Yamamoto want to hit Takumi again, but he concentrated on untying Gokudera's arms and legs instead.

"Yama- moto..." Gokudera was helplessly sobbing his name, "Yamamoto... Y-Yamamoto..."

Yamamoto kissed Gokudera's forehead and gently wiped blood and tears away from his cheeks. Yamamoto's fingers cradled Gokudera's face between his hands as he murmured, "I'm here. I'm here, Hayato. I'm right here, okay?"

Gokudera clutched onto Yamamoto's shoulders with his good hand as soon as it was freed, and he buried his face into Yamamoto's neck, crying in relief as he took in that familiar fresh scent of shampoo. His entire form was trembling, "Yamamoto... Yamamoto, you f-fucking idiot! You could've gotten sh-shot..."

"It'd be worth it," Yamamoto whispered into his ears, his arms circling Gokudera's waist and folding him into his chest. Gokudera only cried harder.

Gokudera had managed to sit up, but his left arm was still limp beside him, his hand still pinned to the mattress. So much blood came out of the wound that the mattress was stained red, but it seemed like the bleeding had stopped for now. Yamamoto didn't think it would be a good idea to pull the knife out and start the blood flowing out again. He decided to ask for Gokudera's opinion – the silvernette most likely knew more about knife wounds than he did, anyway. "Hey, what do you-"

"YAMAMOTO! BEHIND YOU!"

But Gokudera was too late. The second Yamamoto turned around, Takumi plunged a knife into Yamamoto's torso. Then, with a sadistic smile, the monster twisted the knife.

Yamamoto groaned and fell to his knees.

_No._

_NO._

Gokudera was in too much shock to even make any noise. The silvernette just shook his head slowly as his emerald eyes watched the crumpling form of his lover, unable to accept what he was seeing as reality. Tears that were beginning to dry leaked out of his eyes once again.

_No no no NO- NOT him, not Yamamoto, this can't be happening, he hadn't done anything to deserve this, this shouldn't- this couldn't be happening to him..._

Takumi was laughing hysterically as though he had completely lost his mind. Maybe he really had. He was still wheezing in pain from his broken ribs, but that still didn't stop him from throwing his head back and laughing maliciously at Yamamoto's pain. "Take- that!" Takumi wheezed between high-pitched laughter. "Think you're- such a- hero, eh? T-Take that- and- die! Die! DIE!"

Gokudera didn't think he could despise Takumi anymore than he already did. But what the monster just did to Yamamoto...

...it was unforgivable.

Takumi could've done anything to Gokudera and the silvernette would've taken it because he was already damaged and broken beyond scraps and shards. A dirty canvas like Gokudera could handle a few more splurges of murky ink. A shattered glass could take a few more cracks. Sure, it would make him lose a bit more of his soul – but then again, Gokudera thought there wasn't much left to begin with.

But Yamamoto... Yamamoto was all that was good and pure and bright in Gokudera's life. The warm candle to Gokudera's frozen shriveled up heart... to hell would Gokudera let Takumi take that away from him – to _bloody_ _hell_ would Gokudera allow something so wonderful to be touched by something so _low_.

With unnervingly calm composure and determined green eyes, Gokudera slowly picked up Yamamoto's baseball bat with his good right hand and took one sharp, silent swing –

Gokudera smacked the laughing monster right on the side of his skull, full-force. Takumi's head then collided violently with the metal bedpost that just so happened to be within the radius of Gokudera's bat.

There was a loud bang, a lot of blood splattering, and then – silence.

No more laughing.

Gokudera dropped the bat expressionlessly and pressed the back of his hand to Yamamoto's face.

The silvernette let out a long sigh of relief when he found that Yamamoto was still breathing, although faintly.

_Yes. Yes, thank god – or whoever – thank you..._

It was then that Colonello-sensei, out of all people, broke into the room. Gokudera stared at him at first, completely confused as to what in the world was his PE teacher doing there. But then he remembered vaguely in his jumbled up mind that some time ago, someone mentioned that Lal was dating some guy named Colonel-something who was her kouhai in some camp.

Knowing the man was on his side, the silvernette motioned weakly towards Yamamoto with his good hand. "Co..lo... hel..p.. Yama..."

And then Gokudera passed out.

* * *

**8.59pm**

_Yamamoto. Please, be okay._

_ Nothing can happen to you. You must be okay._

_ Please. Please, be okay, Yamamoto._

_ I'd do anything. Just, please._

_ Please._

* * *

**9.59pm**

Yamamoto had been in the operating theatre for a long time, and Gokudera simply refused to leave his spot outside of the surgery room despite the constant warnings from the nurse about his behavior being 'detrimental to his current state of health'.

Members of Dynamite who had just finished their own medical treatment sat around the silvernette, on the chairs, on the floor, each with varying degrees of injury. They managed to distract Gokudera a little – very little – which Gokudera appreciated, because there was no doubt he would go completely mad if his thoughts weren't frequently pulled away from Yamamoto by the chattering of the Dynamites.

Just the mere thought of Yamamoto being inside the operating room made Gokudera feel physical pain inside of him – a clench, a constriction, like there was a bony fist pushed up inside his ribs trying to rip out his heart. Gokudera couldn't stop himself from replaying the scene of Yamamoto crumpling to the ground in his mind – and the longer he waited, the heavier the ache in his body became and the sicker he felt.

The clock ticked. Darkened emerald eyes glanced at it, at the door to the surgery room which was frustratingly quiet, and back at the clock again – then, finally, to his own wrist.

There, on the wrist of Gokudera's unwounded hand, was an inking in the shape of some deformed cartoon character – 'Chibi-Uri'. The ink had faded off a bit now, but Gokudera still stared at the drawing, trying to make out what was remaining of the cat's features. It was the only thing of Yamamoto that Gokudera could cling to at the moment – a marking that told Gokudera that Yamamoto would be okay.

Because someone as goodhearted as Yamamoto must be okay – he _must_ be. Good people deserved good things, they deserved good, long lives, and if someone like Gokudera had survived, then, of course, Yamamoto must be okay. Yamamoto, who drew cartoons on Gokudera's wrist and – without a second thought – slit his own arm just to stop Gokudera from doing the same; Yamamoto, whose smile and warmth lit up the world; Yamamoto, who finally came through for him; Yamamoto, Yamamoto...

'_Yamamoto, you f-fucking idiot! You could've gotten sh-shot...'_

'_It'd be worth it.'_

'It'd be worth it,' he said. As in, 'it'd be worth it to get shot trying to save you'.

As in, 'it'd be worth it, even if I die trying to save you'.

Gokudera found his eyes burning up furiously once again. He bent over and rested his forehead his hands, which were clasped together as though in prayer.

_Please, god. Please, anyone. _

_My whole life had been a nightmare – my mother died even before I could really get to know her, my dad's an abusive alcoholic who hates me and sold me off to a monster, and that monster had dragged me through hell and back. Every day I live, a part of me dies inside. Every time I asked someone – anyone – for help, no one listened. So I'm left here, a walking corpse, rotting and festering inside, not ever knowing what I'd done to deserve this._

_But I won't blame you – not one bit – if just this time, just once, please, listen to me. Just, please, don't take Yamamoto Takeshi away from me. He's the only one that can make me feel alive again. He's the only good thing in my life. And I love him. I love him – even when I thought it was impossible for me to love anyone. I love him._

_So, please. Don't take him away. Please. I don't care anymore even if he loves someone else more than he loves me. I don't bloody care. As long as he cares for me, just a little bit, and as long as I can see him, alive and happy, that's enough. As long as he's safe, I'll be okay. I won't ask for anything more. Just, please, let him be safe. Let him be okay. Let him wake up and smile at the world like he always did – smile at me like he always did._

_ I'll go through all the suffering in my life a hundred times over if I have to. But for all that is wrong and rotten and horrid in my life... please, please let him be okay._

_ Spare this one person, one man, this one good, good soul. Please._

_ ...whoever you are, you owe me at least that much._

* * *

**10.18pm**

"_Gokudera Hayato._"

SLAM!

Gokudera looked up at the sound of his name to be met with a metal tonfa – flying out of nowhere – colliding right into his cheekbones. The impact was so hard that it threw him off his chair, pulling down the metal pole hanging his IV bag along with him. Emerald eyes glanced up from the floor to see a raging Skylark striding down the hall towards him, liquid-black eyes narrowed into little slits.

As soon as Hibari Kyouya was close enough, he grabbed Gokudera by the collar and threw the silvernette against the wall. There was no consideration for Gokudera's wounded condition whatsoever. The IV needle simply gave up and ripped out of Gokudera's skin.

Hibari's dark eagle-like eyes were flashing with fury as he spoke through gritted teeth. "I swear, Gokudera Hayato, if anything happens to him, I will _kill_ you."

Gokudera didn't reply. He didn't know how to reply. His green eyes just looked straight back at Hibari's own with an unnerving stillness.

"He's only in there because of _you_. _You_ were the one who pulled him into this," Hibari practically hissed. "It's _your_ fault he's hurt."

"Oi, oi. Who the bloody fuck are you?" Spanner was getting out of his seat to come in between them, struggling a little because of his dislocated shoulder from the fight.

"Stay out of this," the tip of Hibari's tonfa was pressed against Spanner's throat in no time without the Skylark even letting off his hold on Gokudera. "My business is with Gokudera Hayato alone."

Spanner frowned, "What the hell-"

"Spanner," Gokudera shook his head. "Leave it."

"Hayato-"

"_Leave it._"

Spanner reluctantly went back to his seat, eyes still focused on Hibari and Gokudera's every move. The rest of the Dynamite members were alert as well – as injured as they were. If it weren't for Gokudera's word, they would never have allowed Hibari to touch even the tip of Gokudera's hair.

"Hn. What's this? You're going to let me hit you?" Hibari pressed a tonfa flat against Gokudera's Adam's apple, and the silvernette had to try hard not to flinch or tremble from the bad memories that object brought him.

Fearlessly, Gokudera's eyes did not avoid Hibari's as he replied, "Yes."

_Yes. Hit me. Because it's true – I dragged Yamamoto into this. He would never be put into a situation to be injured if he'd never met me. Yamamoto would never have met that monster – and it never would've been able to touch Yamamoto._

_ It's because of me that he's hurt. It's because of me that he's in danger. It's because I dragged him into this dark side where he doesn't belong, that's why he's in hospital. I know this better than anyone – and I deserve punishment for it._

Hibari simply nodded, "Good."

SLAM! SLAM! SLAM-!

The Skylark did not waste a single second to start mercilessly attacking Gokudera. Three hits, and already, Gokudera was spitting blood. The silvernette didn't even try to protect himself, let alone retaliate. He just allowed Hibari to deepen his bruises and reopen his wounds, enduring the pain like a punishment.

"Fuck this, I'm not just gonna sit here-" Spanner began.

"_No._" Gokudera hissed at him, even when his busted lips had already split open again.

Hibari did not hold back – the man was like a panther when he fought. His hits were sharp and calculated to hurt Gokudera precisely as much as he wanted each one to. And the Skylark was intent on making each and every hit count.

_I've just let Takeshi go – I've let him go back to Gokudera Hayato because he loves him. And immediately, this happens? _

_ If Takeshi's not okay..._

Hibari didn't want to think about it. It was bad enough having to lose the bond he had with Yamamoto – to lose _him_ completely would be... Hibari felt his heart lurch. _No. _All the pain that Hibari felt, he directed towards Gokudera through physical means. And the Skylark was merciless.

SLAM! SLAM!

Gokudera closed his eyes as he tasted more copper in his mouth – his body instinctively numbing out the pain. _It's fine. I deserve this. I'm at fault. If situations were reversed, I'd do exactly the same to him._

_ No one's allowed to hurt Yamamoto. Not even me._

SLAM! SLAM!

"Oh, for god's sake, Smoking Bomb!" M.M. yelled at him from somewhere but Gokudera couldn't hear anything but the sounds of metal impacting with his bones. Hibari, too, ignored M.M.'s complaint.

SLAM! SLAM!

The red head almost pulled out her hair in frustration, "Spanner, _do something_!"

"If I _could_, I would've done it already," Spanner muttered under his breath.

SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! SLAM-!

"Kyouya!"

Hibari paused mid-hit, his tonfa raised and ready to attack Gokudera's well-abused mid-section. His head turned sharply towards the voice that called his name with that specific accent – and there he was, Dino Cavallone, in all his handsome glory as he jogged down the hospital hall towards the Skylark, tripping slightly over nothing in particular.

_Ah. That's right_. Hibari finally remembered that Dino was the one who drove him here. The moment they reached the hospital Hibari had sprung out of the car and left Dino to find a parking space alone, the Skylark completely forgetting about the blonde's existence altogether.

"Kyouya, that's enough," Dino tried to pry Hibari off Gokudera, but the Skylark was stiff as stone, still pinning Gokudera to the wall.

"No." Hibari said, petulantly. "It's not enough. Not for what he did."

Dino sighed, "It's not his fault."

"Of course it is!" Hibari raised his voice, surprising Dino. "Takeshi would never be exposed to any harm of this sort if it wasn't for _him_."

The Skylark was almost growling at Gokudera, and yet, all the silvernette could think of was the fact that Hibari called Yamamoto by his first name.

_He calls him 'Takeshi'. Huh. _

_I've never called him that – not once. Isn't that strange?_

_...what if he never gets to hear me say his name?_

"Come on, Kyouya. Calm down."

"No. Why should I? Takeshi's in there because of him. Why shouldn't I be allowed to do this? "

"..."

"Let go of me."

"Kyouya-"

"_No._"

"...Kyouya, come here."

"..."

Gokudera's mind vaguely registered that Hibari had finally let go of him as the Skylark was pulled into Dino's arms. The silvernette didn't even notice that his knees had given in until his body was already a crumpled mess on the floor, blood drops spotting his hospital gown. Members of Dynamite immediately came in between him and Hibari, holding him up and bringing him back to his seat. But all the time, emerald eyes were focused on the warm embrace displayed before him – Hibari was folded into Dino's chest, Dino whispering softly into his ear. It was just like how Gokudera used to be with Yamamoto in his weaker moments.

_Well, aren't you lucky, Hibari Kyouya? Yamamoto loves you – and you have this guy, too._

_ I don't have that. I don't have anything – anyone. Yamamoto's the only one._

_ And I may well be losing the only thing that is keeping me alive._

Hibari turned his head around from Dino's shoulders to glare at Gokudera one last time, his dark eyes as cold as dry ice, his voice a low, dangerous threat. "If anything happens to him, you're _dead_, Gokudera Hayato."

And Gokudera was threatened – but not by Hibari, not at all. Gokudera had a much more frightening threat at hand.

Gokudera had been afraid of many things in his life – of his father, as he hid away under his bed or in his closet, listening to drunken footsteps; of the sounds of breaking bottles against the wall; of his sister leaving him to suffer alone as he watched her leave; of a laugh, a horrible, disgusting laugh of a monster that haunted his worst nightmares... but the prospect of losing Yamamoto right now was akin to all of that fear multiplied by a million.

The clock ticked again. Darkened, broken emerald eyes glanced at it, at the door to the surgery room which was _still_ frustratingly quiet, and back at the clock once more – then, finally, to his own wrist.

Chibi-Uri had almost completely faded away, and Gokudera gripped his wrist, desperately clinging onto the remains of the inking – desperately clinging onto whatever was left of Yamamoto.

_Don't you worry about killing me, Hibari Kyouya._

_ ...because if anything does happen to Yamamoto, I'd be more or less dead anyways._

* * *

**A/N: **Heavy chapter, hm? LOTS of things going on in this chapter, so much to discuss – I wonder what you guys thought of it all. The 8018 break-up, Gokudera's reaction to Takumi, Hibari and Gokudera's first encounter, and the big question, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO DEAR YAMA-CHAN?

Another memory-loss sequence, perhaps? :D (Just kidding... but am I? *evil grin*)

Let me know your thoughts and feels in a review! And remember, this update is only on time because last chapter's reviews make me a happy. And boy, you won't like it when Melonnaise is an unhappy bunny, no sir. So please REVIEW!

Thank you for reading, wonderful people! ;D


	26. Home Run

**Disclaimers: **Don't own KHR or its characters.

**Warnings: **fluff, swearing, lemon (smut, yes).

_UN-BETA'ed FOR NOW._

* * *

**07.59am**

"Gokudera-kun? Hibari-kun?"

Yamamoto Tsuyoshi's warm, gentle voice not unlike his son's softly woke up the two. Yamamoto had been transferred from the Operation Room to the Intensive Care Unit around almost midnight last night, but only his father was allowed to be with him. This left Gokudera sitting outside of the intensive care unit adjacent to Hibari, who fell asleep on Dino's shoulder. Both stayed there all night. Gokudera didn't remember when he, himself, lost consciousness – or even how he got to the front of the unit in the first place. The last thing he could really remember was the doctor's voice telling him that Yamamoto was safe – the enormous tidal wave of relief crashing into him so hard Gokudera physically crumpled to the floor.

"Tsuyoshi-san...?" Hibari was the first out of the two of them to be awake enough to speak. He untangled himself from Dino's arms – the blonde still sleeping soundlessly – before he turned his attention to Tsuyoshi. "How is Takeshi?"

Gokudera still felt woozy from yesterday's events but he kept his focus enough to keep on listening. His hand was hurting like the devil and his wounds were stinging positively _everywhere_, but right now, there was something more important than all that. There was some_one_ much more important than all that.

"Takeshi's just woken up," Tsuyoshi smiled gently at the two of them, "I told him that you two are waiting out here. He'd asked for you both."

A giant question immediately hung over Gokudera's and Hibari's head like a dark, brooding cloud: _who goes in to see him first?_

The Skylark was already glaring at Gokudera in that ferocious, predatory way as though in warning – an animal furiously protective of its nest. In Hibari's mind, it was only natural that he would see Yamamoto first.

_Is that really a matter to question? Gokudera Hayato does not even have the right to see Takeshi at all because, really, he's only in hospital because of him. It's Gokudera Hayato's fault that Yamamoto Takeshi is even hurt. How dare this colour gang rebel even have the nerve to think that he sees Takeshi first?_

But Gokudera was not going to back down and let Hibari walk all over him like he did last night. Yamamoto was now safe and Gokudera desperately needed to see it with his own eyes – he needed to make sure that the one sole brightness in his life had not dimmed or had been damaged by this experience. If not, Gokudera wouldn't know how to handle the guilt. Plus, Gokudera had literally been on the verge of insanity for the duration of Yamamoto being in the OR and frankly, he'd be damned if he had to wait a second longer. So, to hell if he was going to let this Hibari Kyouya see Yamamoto first. As if the Skylark hadn't already had far too many 'firsts' with Yamamoto.

The tension between Hibari Kyouya and Gokudera Hayato was so intense it was almost tangible. Tsuyoshi could see the rising conflict in their eyes, the challenge building up in their posture. He shook his head calmly, "Boys... Takeshi asked to see both of you. At the same time."

The mental gasps of outrage of both males were audible through their expressions. Then, simultaneously, the two of them frowned. _What on earth is the baseball idiot thinking this time?_

The thought of the three of them – the ex-lover, the two-timer, and the third-party – all in the same room having casual conversation was more than just a tad ridiculous. Neither Gokudera nor Hibari had ever expected this. They never saw it coming, not in a hundred years. Not to mention, neither were exactly pleased with having to share their time with Yamamoto with the other. Their relationships with Yamamoto was supposed to be exclusive – two sets of data that were never meant to overlap.

However, the desire to see Yamamoto's wellbeing outweighed all issues of pride and fear of awkward social situations. If Yamamoto wanted to see them at the same time... well, Yamamoto can have it as he wished.

With Gokudera's hand on one door and Hibari's on the other, together – ironic as it was – the two walked into Yamamoto's room.

* * *

Yamamoto didn't look as horrible as one would've expected – having gone through surgery and all. In fact, it would be fair to say that on external appearances alone, Gokudera looked much more like the one supposed to be in bed in the intensive care unit.

Gokudera had expected the worst – Yamamoto all pale and sickly, wrapped up in rolls and rolls of bandages to the point of mummification, those unnerving oxygen masks on his face, tubes of different fluids as well as electrical wires hanging from every inch of his skin... however, in reality, Yamamoto was simply sitting on his propped up bed, an IV fluid bag attached to his wrist, no bandages visible, and his face bright with that forever-summer smile as soon as he saw who came in.

Gokudera found himself paralyzed on the spot. Unable to move, unable to think, unable to breathe.

Hibari quickly pushed past him to Yamamoto's side, taking his hand in a bruising grip. "Yamamoto Takeshi. Can I not leave you for five minutes without you idiotically _throwing_ yourself into danger?"

Yamamoto winced at the intense grip but flashed Hibari a weak smile. "Hi, Hibari."

"Don't give me that. And stop it with the foolish smile. Do you want to be bitten to death?" Hibari glared, though his grip on Yamamoto's hand softened. Quietly, he mumbled, "How dare you go around hurting yourself..."

"I'm sorry," Yamamoto, out of habit, used his free hand to brush Hibari's hair back from his face. "I'm glad you came to see me. I thought-"

"Of course I did." Hibari said, firmly.

Yamamoto chuckled, "Right. Of course."

Gokudera watched the two from afar with a feeling of wanting to run from there, but found his feet glued to the floor, his eyes glued to the scene. The overwhelming atmosphere of warmth and care that emanated from Yamamoto and Hibari only made Gokudera feel the words he'd used against himself, many times before, punctuated in his chest: 'Outsider'. 'Unwelcomed'. 'Home-wrecker'. 'Unwanted'.

_I shouldn't be here._

Gokudera thought, but his body refused to move.

"Gokudera...?"

Yamamoto had looked over Hibari's shoulder and spotted him. The smile that Yamamoto was giving him was just as warm and caring as it ever was, but Gokudera found himself unable to meet his eyes. Subconsciously, Gokudera took a step back, looking at the floor, rolling in his lips.

"Gokudera," Yamamoto's eyes softened. "...won't you come closer?"

Gokudera's hands curled themselves into tight little fists by his side. It wasn't as though he didn't want to be right by Yamamoto's side, because he did, _so_ badly. He wanted to rush over to Yamamoto and hold the guy in his arms, to make sure with his very own hands that Yamamoto was safe; to let Yamamoto know that he was so sorry for dragging Yamamoto into this, and that he was stupid, so stupid to try and do things by himself; and, above all, to let Yamamoto know just how much Gokudera loved him. Even more so now than ever.

But Gokudera couldn't move.

_It's not my place. I don't even deserve to see him. I don't deserve his smile. Clearly, he is happy with Hibari Kyouya and I shouldn't... 'intervene'. I never should have. I've always known it, anyways, haven't I? That Yamamoto doesn't belong in my world – that Yamamoto shouldn't be dragged down and tainted by being with someone like me._

_ Remember what you said, Gokudera Hayato? That as long as he's safe, you'll be satisfied just to watch him live his life happily? That you'll let him thrive in the light and never pull him back into the shade?_

_ I can't go any closer. I can't. I can't allow him to be harmed like this, not again, not ever-_

"Gokudera," Yamamoto's smile gradually became replaced with an expression of concern. Worry was shining in his eyes, and he reached out one hand towards Gokudera. "...come here? Please?"

Gokudera only screwed his eyes shut tight, willing himself to stay in his spot. His fists had clenched in on themselves so much that his injured hand was starting to bleed through the bandages. _I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't go near you. I can't._

_ ...even though I want to. Even though it's killing me to be here when you're right there and I can't even touch you. _

Yamamoto hated seeing the pain written all over Gokudera's face. The silvernette wouldn't even make eye contact with him – those precious emeralds hidden away from his sight. He didn't understand why Gokudera was behaving like this, or what Gokudera was so afraid of, but Yamamoto was not about to let Gokudera start becoming difficult. Not when everything is finally over. Not when Yamamoto had finally found clarity. Not when Yamamoto had finally decided to pour everything he had into making Gokudera happy. Gokudera, and no one else.

Making eye contact with Hibari for a second, Yamamoto looked back intently at Gokudera and spoke firmly, "...Hayato, I need you."

Gokudera gasped quietly at the throb Yamamoto's words sent through his heart. His head snapped up, and his eyes finally, finally, met Yamamoto's. Broken emeralds meeting molten dark chocolate – and that was all it took for Gokudera's legs to start acting on their own and pulled Gokudera towards the place he longed to be. It was almost like a magnetic pull, a gravitation – natural, gentle, but untenable.

He sat down next to Yamamoto, and as soon as Gokudera was within reach, Yamamoto stretched out his free arm to touch Gokudera's heavily bruised face. His thumb ran over the bandage across Gokudera's cheek, and Gokudera leaned into the touch, the familiar warmth, raising one hand to cover Yamamoto's with his own. All the time, their eyes never broke contact.

"Are you okay?" Yamamoto asked gently, "How are your injuries? Do they hurt a lot?"

Gokudera looked at Yamamoto as though he had just asked the most ridiculous question, "You're the one who's just been in surgery, baseball-idiot."

Yamamoto smiled, "Doesn't mean I can't be worried about you, still."

"Well, you worry too much. And not enough of it is about yourself."

"It's only natural. After all, I live with a difficult, feisty stray cat who always seem to run head-first into trouble."

"Oi, oi."

Gokudera frowned at him, and Yamamoto just grinned right back – and just a moment later, almost in synchronization, the two broke out into light, child-like laughter. After so much weight on their heavy hearts, the relief that finally washed over them both lifted them into a giddy bubble of happiness.

_How could I ever think I could live without him is beyond me. _Gokudera thought to himself as he held Yamamoto's hand close to his chest, his eyes watching Yamamoto's face as he laughed. _To know his warmth, this happiness – this love – and live without it would be like living a life of a corpse._

On the other side of the bed, Hibari watched the interaction between the two with an unexpected sense of calmness. He had gotten chills when Yamamoto first touched Gokudera's face – there was something about the motion and the way Gokudera's eyes looked at Yamamoto that was vividly familiar. Reluctantly, Hibari allowed himself to admit that it reminded him of Dino and himself.

Dark eyes of the Skylark looked down at Yamamoto's hand he was still holding. He noticed that Yamamoto's hand no longer held his hand back, their fingers were just left passively intertwined. The moment Gokudera Hayato had sat down beside the bed, all of Yamamoto's attention had shifted to him, all five senses focusing in on the silvernette and nothing else.

_Good. I want him to be happy. _Hibari watched as Yamamoto's hand tucked a strand of silver hair behind his ears – just like he used to do with him.

_There is no longer a place for me next to him. _Hibari realised with a sense of nostalgia. Slowly, he untwined his fingers from Yamamoto's and removed his hand away.

Yamamoto took notice, however, before Hibari could make his quiet escape.

"Ah, Kyouya, are you leaving?"

"Hn." _I've seen that you are well. I'm no longer needed here._

Yamamoto's brown eyes were bright like a puppy's, his smile like warm sunshine. "...thanks for everything, Senpai."

Hibari's dark eyes softened. He hesitated, before he reached his hand out to ruffle Yamamoto's hair one last time. Then, he stood up and walked towards the door.

Just before Hibari turned the handle and left, the Skylark paused – his back still turned towards the bed.

"Gokudera Hayato."

Gokudera jolted. He did not expect his name to come out of Hibari's lips. "Yeah?"

"What I said outside the OR – don't forget."

'_If you hurt him, I will kill you.'_

The message rang well and clear in Gokudera's head. The Skylark turned his head to glance at Gokudera with those eagle-sharp eyes. The silvernette simply nodded – Hibari didn't need to say that. He had no intention of letting the smallest amount of harm ever touch Yamamoto again.

Satisfied with Gokudera's response, Hibari Kyouya left the room.

* * *

Dino was still sleeping when Hibari found him on the same chair he left him at. The Italian looked so innocent in his sleep, much more like a child than a mafia boss of the notorious Cavallone famiglia. The only two things which gave it away were the tattoos running down Dino's neck and arms, and the two bodyguards Dino had lingering around the hospital hallways – their crisp, dark suits contrasting with the pure white walls of the hospital.

"Dino," Hibari called him, giving him a light nudge on the shoulders.

Dino remained undisturbed and unmoving, still sleeping soundlessly and peacefully.

Hibari frowned. _A mafia boss should wake easier than this – what if someone was trying to assassinate him?_

Hibari decided to give said mafia boss a sharp kick in the shin. "_Dino._"

"Ow-" Dino finally stirred, frowning at the pain in his leg and was about to lash out at whoever caused him that pain – that was, until he saw that the culprit was no one else other than his beloved little Skylark. The frown dissolved right off his face and became a heart-melting smile in an instant. "'Morning, Kyouya."

Dino looked dashingly – and annoyingly – handsome for someone who had just woken. He ran his hand through his blonde hair, effortlessly looking like something which dropped right out of a magazine. Although, due to his trademark clumsiness, Dino did not manage to get his mussed-up hair quite right without a proper mirror.

Hibari sighed and brushed Dino's hand away, sorting out the man's hair himself. _Him? A mafia boss? I don't think so._

Dino grinned up at him, wrapping his arms around his lover's slim waist and resting his chin on Hibari's torso, looking up at the Skylark with enchanted caramel eyes. "How long have you been up?"

"A while," Hibari said, lifting Dino's hands back up to his waist when they tried to sneakily slide down lower, "I went to see Yamamoto just now."

"Oh?" Dino slipped one hand under the back of Hibari's shirt, "How was he? All safe?"

Hibari smacked the hand away, "Yes, he's well. Gokudera Hayato is with him."

"Good, good." Dino all of a sudden pulled Hibari into his lap, the Skylark's legs spread on each side of his body. "You were so worried about Yamamoto Takeshi, I couldn't help but be a little jealous."

"Don't be stupid," Hibari frowned. "And stop that – we're in a public hospital."

"No one's around," Dino said nonchalantly, bending in to nuzzle Hibari's pale neck.

"Not here. You body guards are watching-" Hibari tried to push Dino's head away, but the blonde was persistent, not caring about Hibari's protests as he nipped the nape of Hibari's neck. Chills ran up his spine, and pink tinted Hibari's cheeks, "Nn- Dino-"

"Mm-hm?" Dino said in between kissing Hibari's collar bone, "What is it, love?"

SMACK-!

A tonfa appeared out of nowhere and smacked Dino across the chin. It was only a light hit, considering how much force the Skylark usually had, but it still stunned Dino enough to let Hibari go.

"Ow-! Kyouya, what was that for?" Dino whined, cradling his chin.

"Not here, I said." Hibari huffed.

Dino didn't give up, "...it's okay somewhere else, then?"

Hibari gave Dino a 'look', before he turned his back and started heading down the hallway of the hospital without him.

"Wait! Kyouya! Is that a yes?" Dino quickly got to his feet and started following his Skylark like an overexcited puppy, "Is it? Where should we go?"

"Shut up, Dino."

* * *

"...so what did Hibari say to you?" Yamamoto was curious.

"Nothing much," Gokudera shrugged, "I would've said the exact same thing to him."

Yamamoto still looked curious, but didn't push on the subject.

"What happened between you two, anyways?" Gokudera leaned on the side of the bed, "He just up and left. That simple. I was expecting him to beat the shit out of me the moment I touched you."

Yamamoto chuckled, "Don't be silly. Hibari's fierce, but he wouldn't hit you I don't think."

Gokudera scoffed.

"What?" Yamamoto's eyes widened. "_He did?_"

Gokudera shrugged and sighed, "It's fine. He had the right to be angry. To be fair, I'd do the same."

"Whoa," Yamamoto looked shocked. He could only imagine how vicious his ex-lover could be, having had been on the wrong end of Hibari's tonfas himself. "Are you hurt? How hard did he hit you?"

"No, it's fine. Really." _I deserved it, anyways. _"Now tell me why he left so easily. Did something happen?"

"Well," Yamamoto linked his fingers with Gokudera's, "We broke up."

"..."

There was a long, long silence. Gokudera was still as a stone.

"...Hayato?" Yamamoto inquired, uncertainly.

"...you did _what_?"

"We broke up, Hibari and I."

"Like- for real?"

"Yeah." Yamamoto nodded firmly.

"But-" Gokudera's emerald eyes were wide and confused when they looked up at Yamamoto's, "But _why_?"

_After all this time of me chasing and hiding and wanting but never fully having... why, all of a sudden, do I get exactly what I want? Surely, it couldn't be this easy. Surely, there must be a catch. Maybe they're on some sort of break again?_

_ I can't let myself be over the moon – I can't get ahead of myself. Surely, it couldn't be..._

"I thought-" Gokudera found himself dumbfounded, "I thought you were in love with him."

"I was." Yamamoto admitted, "But he was in love with someone else."

"...oh."

...s_o that's why, huh? _Gokudera's heart sunk. Slowly, he felt the bitterness grow within him, weighing on his chest, leaving a bad taste in his mouth. _First-choice wasn't available, so that's why you chose me? _

Gokudera mentally kicked himself. _Of course. What do you expect, Hayato? Of course he wouldn't just pick you over Hibari Kyouya. Why would someone pick someone like you – broken, tattered, scarred – over someone like him?_

_ Smile. You should be happy. At least you got what you've wanted, right? Don't be greedy, Hayato, you can't be. It doesn't matter if you weren't his first choice – Yamamoto's here with you now, that should be more than you could ever ask for..._

_ ...right?_

Yamamoto saw Gokudera's expression change from surprise, to shock, to realization, then to a bitter, broken smile. Immediately, he knew that Gokudera was misunderstanding things.

"Wait, Hayato, I don't think you understand-"

"Oh, no. No, it's fine. I understand." Gokudera flashed him a forced smile, "I'm grateful."

'_Grateful'? _Yamamoto shook his head rapidly. "No, no, no, Hayato, you've got it all wrong-!"

"You don't have to say anything. It's okay, really, Yamamoto. It's okay. I can accept it as it is. This is good- no, it's more than good enough."

"But, Hayato, that isn't it!"Yamamoto could just see Gokudera mentally crawling deeper and deeper into his own misunderstanding, and he was beginning to panic, not knowing how to pull Gokudera back and make Gokudera see things the way it really was. "I didn't break up with Hibari only because he was in love with someone else. It was because I was in love with someone else, too. And it's _you_ – Gokudera, you must believe me. And yes, I'll admit, I did love Hibari – I probably still do, but it's different now. It's not the same with you. It's not the same as the way I love you, Hayato."

Gokudera only stared at him with sad, dull green eyes. In a quiet, calm voice, he murmured. "...you don't have to lie just to make me happy, Yamamoto."

_Oh god, this is going all wrong... _Yamamoto was becoming more and more frustrated. "Hayato, listen to me-"

"No, stop. You've said enough, it's okay."

"You're not listening to me, I'm trying to tell you that I-"

"You just came out of surgery, you should rest-"

"Hayato-"

"You don't have to say anything else-"

"My _god_, Hayato, why is it so hard for you to just believe that I love you!"

"..." Gokudera fell silent.

Yamamoto went on, "I love you – that's why I want to be with you. That's why I can't be with Hibari, because even when I do love him, I'll always leave him for you. I'll always place you as first priority, I'll always come to you first if you call, and I don't know since when this had happened, but recently, every morning I wake up the first thing I think of is you. Not Hibari – you. I spend hours of my day thinking about what I want to do with you when I see you – make you your favourite sushi, try to convince you to play baseball, go out on a drive on your motorbike, fall asleep with you in my arms."

Yamamoto gripped Gokudera's hand firmly with his own, " Whenever something good happens to me I want you to be the first to know, I want to be there for you whenever you need someone, and I want to be the one to make you the happiest you'll ever be. I don't feel this way about anyone else, only you. I love you that much, Hayato, and that's why I want to be with you. Why won't you let me? Why don't you even believe me? I can't believe you'd think I'd lie about something like this."

Yamamoto's voice wavered slightly, "...don't you trust me at all?"

There was a long silence after that, Yamamoto's words slowly sinking into Gokudera. Yamamoto looked at his lover with desperate eyes, hoping he had managed to make the silvernette understand. Eventually, Gokudera spoke in a tiny voice.

"...no sense." Gokudera mumbled, his face turned towards the floor.

Yamamoto frowned, "What?"

"It makes no sense!" Gokudera lifted his head, his emerald eyes shining with tears. "It makes absolutely no sense that someone like you would love me! I'm sorry, Yamamoto, I _want_ to believe you, but I _can't_. I just- I can't! It's just- It- It's not _possible_. I just- I just c-_can't_- I- I-"

Yamamoto could see that Gokudera was crumbling, his fingertips were shaking, and his breaths were erratic, like he was about to have a panic attack. Scared of that happening, Yamamoto pulled the folded-over Gokudera onto the bed with him and cradled him in his arms. Feeling Gokudera trembling and hearing his hitched cries like a scared little bird made tears come to Yamamoto's own eyes. _What sort of pain did you go through that made you become like this? _"Shh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pushing you, please don't cry anymore, okay?"

Gokudera clung onto Yamamoto's shoulders and buried his face into Yamamoto's neck, sobbing. "I- I don't want you to t-think it's anything to do with me not l-loving you. Because I do, Yamamoto. I r-really do. I don't want to l-lose you-"

"I know, Hayato. It's okay. It's okay now, shh, I'm here. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," if Yamamoto could envelope Gokudera into his arms and take all the pain onto himself, he would have. He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling helpless.

"When I thought I might h-have lost you, a-and it's all because of me, I- I couldn't even-" Gokudera cried harder, fingers gripping desperately onto Yamamoto's shirt. "..._I love you, Takeshi._"

Yamamoto felt a tear roll down his face with those words. He was happy, of course – he was overjoyed, in fact – but the way Gokudera had said those words with such anguish made his heart ache for him. _Why is it so hard for you to accept love? Why do you resist it so much?_

_ ...what happened to you, Gokudera?_

"If you love me," Yamamoto moved back to look Gokudera in the eyes, wiping the fresh tears away with the back of his hand, his own eyes wet. "Please, tell me what I should do. I'm out of cards, Hayato. I don't know what I can do to make you believe me."

"It's not your fault," Gokudera shook his head slowly, closing his eyes. "It's just that- there's- there's something you should know."

Yamamoto nodded quietly, patiently – giving Gokudera his time.

Gokudera exhaled and inhaled deeply. Once, twice – and a stuttered breath the third time. Before eventually, his lips parted to let out the words he never thought he would utter.

"...it's about my father."

* * *

Yamamoto could not believe it.

All the horrible things Gokudera had gone through in his life – and from his own _father,_ no less. Gokudera had told him all of it, from the time of his mother's death, to when his father started drinking, to the verbal abuse which became physical and more frequent as the days went by, and then finally, to the part where his own father sold him off to that bastard, Takumi.

In a way, it all made sense now. Why Gokudera was so guarded, why he had trust issues, all those suspicious bruises, the broken look in those emerald eyes – the reason why Gokudera found it so difficult to let anyone in, to believe anyone would love him. Because if a child was raised by hate, being drilled into his head every day, every hour, every minute in that alcohol-drenched house that he was worth nothing, that no one could ever love him, that all he deserved was the abuse that he got – then, it was more than understandable why the child would grow up to be so broken. Gokudera was _brought up_ to believe that he was undeserving of love – that he had no value, that he was unworthy – it was _ingrained_ in him.

And whilst Yamamoto was so _angry, _so_ furious_ at Gokudera's father for doing what he did, his love and admiration for Gokudera grew all the more. Because even after everything Gokudera had been through, he still managed to be so strong, so resilient, and yes, so broken, but still so beautiful. Out of all the wreckage, Gokudera emerged like a butterfly – albeit with its wings a little torn here and there, but still complete in its grace and glory.

Yamamoto had held Gokudera's hand the whole time Gokudera told him everything – his voice occasionally cracking, his hand occasionally gripping Yamamoto's tighter. It made Yamamoto all the prouder that Gokudera picked him to share his most vulnerable side with, and Yamamoto had sworn to himself that he would do anything for this person.

"You can't go back there," Yamamoto insisted, "Please don't. You can stay with me, or with the Dynamites – anything, just please don't go back to that house. I know he's your dad, but-"

"I know, I won't," Gokudera promised. He was calmer now – talking through everything was surprisingly easier than he thought. Maybe it was because it was Yamamoto he was talking to, but afterwards, Gokudera felt as though a huge mountain had been lifted from his shoulders. "My father's last chance was destroyed after what Takumi did to me." _And after what that monster did to you as well._

"Okay, okay, good," Yamamoto sighed in relief, hugging Gokudera, "I wish I had known. All along. All this time." _All that suffering you had to go through all by yourself._

Gokudera shook his head, "Even if you knew, I wouldn't have been able to cut myself from him back then anyways. I guess I still had that foolish belief that one day he will come to his senses, you know? That one day he'll go back to being the father he used to be. Stupid, isn't it? And I keep calling other people idiots, when I'm the biggest fool of them all, heh."

"It's not stupid at all," Yamamoto said.

Gokudera scoffed. "Oh, come on-"

"No, really. I mean it."

Gokudera paused, then allowed his guards to fall as he weakly leaned his head against Yamamoto's shoulder. He whispered, "...thank you."

"We'll sort it out together, okay? Your father needs to get professional help, and I don't want him anywhere where he can still hurt you. We'll contact your sister about it as well, if that's okay?"

"Yeah," Gokudera nodded – somehow, coming out of Yamamoto's mouth, those words seemed to make so much more sense than anyone else's ever did. "I'll call Bianchi tonight and tell her everything."

"Okay," Yamamoto agreed, "And Gokudera...?"

"Hm?"

Yamamoto took a deep breath. "...it's okay if you don't believe me right now. I understand."

Gokudera smiled weakly at him, "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be," Yamamoto held Gokudera's uninjured hand in both of his, "Leave it to me. I'll make you believe it, someday. I don't care how long it takes." He grinned, "I'll simply have to shower you with so much love that you have no other option but to finally believe me."

Gokudera couldn't help but smile affectionately at that statement. He leaned over and pecked Yamamoto on the cheek. "I'll wait and see what you've got, Mr Baseball Ace."

Yamamoto flashed him a bright smile, just as bright as how Gokudera remembered it the very first time he saw it – that day he woke up in the house of a stranger, a baseball-idiot he never knew would change his life.

"Better watch out for the home run, Gokudera Hayato."

* * *

**One Year Later, at Namimori High School**

"Did you hear the news about Hibari-sama? I heard he's going to be studying in Italy for university!"

"Wow, that's so cool! I can't believe we won't be seeing him around anymore. The prefect team just wouldn't be the same! One hot eye-candy down, boo."

"Did you see him after the graduation ceremony, though? Someone told me Hibari-sama gave away his second button – you know, the one that's closest to the heart?"

"Really? Oh, I'm so jealous of the lucky girl who got that button! I wonder who it is..."

"Do you think she might be going to Italy too? Oh wait! Talking about Italy, did you know that Dino-sensei is also retiring this year? He's going back to Italy too."

"Wahh, why are all the hot men going to Italy? Maybe we should go too!"

"We totally should! Right? Maybe after we graduate..."

The chatter of the Namimori High School girls came through the window of the nurse's office as they walked by. A pale hand reached up from the bed next to the window to shut it, effectively blocking out all of the noise.

"_Hibari-sama_ this, _Hibari-sama_ that," Gokudera imitated the girls' high-pitched voices, rolled his eyes, before dropping himself back down onto the bed. "If only they knew their precious Hibari-sama is actually in a full-time gay relationship with a very homosexual Italian mafia boss. Maybe I should drop a hint, heh..."

Yamamoto laughed, "Don't be mean, Hayato. You'll crush their fantasies."

"That's the best part, though!" Gokudera grinned, rolling closer towards Yamamoto, "Imagine their faces when they find out. Oh, all the eyeliner and mascara that'll melt down their cheeks – it'll be hilarious!"

"You're evil, Hayato," Yamamoto said affectionately, pinching Gokudera's cheek, "Pure evil."

"Aha! Too bad for you, you chose to date a demon – I was _the_ Smoking Bomb of Dynamite, didn't you know?"

"Still clinging onto to the old title, I see."

"Humour me. I do miss the old red scarf and all," Gokudera shrugged.

It had been a whole complete year since the Dynamites broke up – after the big attack from Varia at Lancia's house, Lancia decided that it was too dangerous for all of them to keep on fighting a war that they knew they would eventually lose. The casualties from that attack was not light, and Lancia cared too much about his gang members to let them suffer just for the sake of his own pride. Of course, the old gang still had frequent reunions and meet-ups, but they were no longer involved in violence or colour gang warfare, and they no longer wore their scarfs.

"It seems like so long ago since I last went on a group ride with the gang – man, time sure sped by. Can you believe we'll be Seniors next year? Last year of high school already, huh."

"I'm sure the kouhais will be even more crazy about you now that all the senpais have graduated," Yamamoto teased. "_Gokudera-senpai_ is so popular, what with his rebellious look and all."

"Shut up," Gokudera stuck out his tongue, "And speak for yourself, _Yamamoto-senpai_. Don't think I didn't notice all those girls coming to give you their perfume-scented cards and perfectly heart-shaped cookies after your last match."

"You saw? But they were genuine baseball fans."

"Oh, please, don't tell me you honestly believe that entire crowd of _girls _were into baseball?"

Yamamoto blinked, "Baseball's a fun sport, why not?"

"Riiight. How could I forget. You're a complete baseball-idiot, even after all this time." Gokudera sighed.

"I was kidding," Yamamoto laughed, "I gave the cookies away to my kouhais in the team anyway."

"Why? There was no need. Go ahead and eat them all, I'm not gonna be jealous over something so petty," Gokudera said – although the twitch in his eyebrow said otherwise.

Yamamoto knew it all too well, continuing to tease his lover. "Well, if you say so, maybe next time I'll eat them. They did look pretty delicious after all."

"Huh, don't say I didn't warn you when you get all obese and shit," Gokudera huffed.

Yamamoto chuckled and pulled his lover into his arms, "Kidding, kidding. I don't need anyone else's cookies but yours, ne?"

"Shut up. They were horrible. Bianchi's zero- no, _negative_ – talent in cooking definitely runs in the blood..."

"I thought they were alright," Yamamoto shrugged.

"They were burnt! Completely burnt! If I didn't stop you from eating them you'd probably get cancer. Or food poisoning, Bianchi's style," Gokudera groaned.

Yamamoto laughed, then kissed the frown off of Gokudera's lips, "When is she expecting you home, by the way?"

After the whole incident with Takumi last year, Bianchi decided to move back to Namimori with her boyfriend – Romeo, now-_fiancee_ – to sort out getting Gokudera Chisato into rehabilitation. After their father was out of town, Gokudera Hayato then moved into his sister's flat and had lived there since.

"Mm, whenever. I told her I might be staying over at yours tonight," Gokudera pecked Yamamoto's lips back, feeling like the last one wasn't enough.

"Oh, really now," Yamamoto smiled slyly, "So you're saying we have all night?"

Gokudera smirked, a sparkle in those emerald eyes, "...why wait until night? After all, Dino had been _so_ gracious to give us this room all to ourselves – what with all these different beds, all these curtains, not to mention the unlimited supply of condoms and lubrication..."

Yamamoto's face split into an all-out grin with that,"I like your style, Smoking Bomb."

The curtains were drawn shut after that, enclosing the two of them into their very own private space. The late evening sun shone through the white curtains and gave the area a warm, orange glow that made everything look almost dreamy.

Gokudera watched as Yamamoto stripped off his shirt, appreciating those toned muscles that became even more defined with age and training. His skin was freshly tanned from the recent baseball tournament, and he had grown quite a bit taller in the past year. Before Yamamoto could take off his trousers, Gokudera reached out and hooked his fingers into Yamamoto's waistline, pulling his lover towards him and the bed.

"Hm? What are you up to, Hayato?" Yamamoto stood in front of Gokudera and smiled down at him.

"Nothing, nothing," Gokudera's hands casually tugged down Yamamoto's pants, revealing his pelvic bone and a clear separation between darkened and pale skin, "Oh, look here. You have a tan line."

"Yeah, from training – coach got us swimming a lot," Yamamoto's hand went to toy around with Gokudera's hair before undoing his shirt buttons.

Gokudera ran his fingertip down the tan line slowly before he leant in to give the area a quick nip. "Does that hurt?" Gokudera looked up at Yamamoto, and when he saw the baseball player shake his head, he leaned over and nipped the skin again, harder this time – like a little kitty who's teeth was just developing. Those emerald eyes looked back up at him again – playful, teasing, "What about that?"

Yamamoto chuckled amiably, "Come here, you."

Gokudera laughed when Yamamoto lifted him right off the bed and threw him onto his back, Yamamoto's body quickly following down as his lips captured Gokudera's and swallowed his laughter in a deep kiss. Gokudera sighed contently, wrapping his arms around Yamamoto's neck – one hand running down the planes of his back, the other sifting through his soft, short hair.

Yamamoto finished unbuttoning Gokudera's shirt and peeled it off him, just as one of Gokudera's hands trailed right down to his butt and gave it a playful squeeze. Yamamoto groaned. Gokudera had always known what to do to turn him on in each moment – playful and teasing touches, coy glances as he hid away, teases of tongue in a kiss, aggressive nails raking down his back, the softest kiss on his forehead... every time, it was as though Gokudera knew exactly what Yamamoto wanted.

Pale, slim fingers reached down to unzip Yamamoto's pants, those same fingers giving just a tease of a stroke over Yamamoto's hardening member – enough to leave Yamamoto desperate for more. Yamamoto gave Gokudera's lips a few more pecks before he retreated to take off the remainders of his clothes. As he did, he slid his hands down between his legs to give his half-hard cock a few tugs.

"Hey, hey," Gokudera pulled Yamamoto's hand away – he was also completely naked, now, too. "No starting the fun without me."

"There _isn't_ any of it without you," Yamamoto grinned, pulling Gokudera towards him for another kiss, his hands running down Gokudera's arms.

"How corny," Gokudera smirked, now sitting down in Yamamoto's lap, his legs on each side of Yamamoto's body – their erections just almost, _almost _touching, but not quite there. Yamamoto exhaled deeply, wanting to just crush their bodies together right there and then. But he never did – he always, always allowed Gokudera to set the pace. And Gokudera knew it, too. Which was why, when Gokudera glanced up at Yamamoto beneath his eyelashes, the sneaky look in his eyes immediately let Yamamoto know that the distance set between their bodies was _very _intentional.

"You're such a tease," Yamamoto growled, using all the strength he had to restrain himself from flipping Gokudera onto his back and completely ravaging him.

"Easy now," Gokudera murmured, smiling, all too slowly leaning in to kiss Yamamoto's lips, moving his lips just as slowly. His arms circled Yamamoto's back, one hand massaging the back of Yamamoto's neck – exactly the way he liked it.

Yamamoto moaned, his hands sliding up Gokudera's creamy thighs. One hand reached right up to his chest before he used the pad of his thumb to play with Gokudera's nipple.

Gokudera shuddered and sighed into the kiss, "Mmm-"

Yamamoto covered one nipple with his mouth, and Gokudera positively arched into him.

"_Mm-!_" Gokudera's hand clutched Yamamoto's hair, "Wait, t-too much-"

Yamamoto grazed his teeth on Gokudera's nipple. Gokudera's head lolled back in a silent scream, his body moving on its own and grinding their erections together. Electricity shot through them both. Yamamoto groaned at the much-needed friction, and rotated his hips to grind against Gokudera once more.

"Ah-!" Gokudera gasped, clutching Yamamoto's back, "Takeshi..."

"More?" Yamamoto whispered hotly against Gokudera's ear.

"Yeah- fuck, yes," Gokudera swore as Yamamoto rocked against him again, then again, their bodies moving in synch, their heated cocks trapped between them, dripping with pre-cum and sliding against one another. The temperature between them was rising gradually but steadily, sweat beginning to glisten both of their skin. Gokudera pants became heavier as Yamamoto continued to thrust against him, a little faster and a little harder each time, driving Gokudera absolutely insane with lust. His pale arm clung to Yamamoto's neck as the baseball player sucked on his neck, leaving marks to last a week, and only making the flames that was burning within Gokudera rise.

Yamamoto reached one hand to the side-table and fumbled for the bottle of lube. Once he found is, he squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers and slid them behind Gokudera.

"Hah-" Gokudera jolted at the sudden coolness of the gel that contrasted with his burning skin. Yamamoto's fingertips were circling his entrance now, Yamamoto licking his lips.

"Hayato...?" Yamamoto looked into Gokudera's hazy green eyes for permission. Gokudera adored that about him. Yamamoto always made sure to check with Gokudera every step of the way to ensure that the silvernette was comfortable – even when Yamamoto himself could barely contain his desire. No matter how absorbed in lust Yamamoto was, Gokudera knew that if he said the word, Yamamoto would stop everything in a heartbeat. He had done so a few times in the past, especially the first few times they got physical. Being a man himself, Gokudera could understand exactly how difficult that was – he sure as hell would not be able to stop if roles were reversed in those moments.

Without hesitation this time, Gokudera nodded.

Yamamoto's finger slipped into him and Gokudera closed his eyes. Another finger followed shortly after, and Gokudera tensed reflexively, but relaxed shortly after, allowing Yamamoto to scissor his entrance and stretch him.

"Tell me if it hurts," Yamamoto's voice was low, a sound deep from within his throat. Gokudera knew that meant Yamamoto was fully aroused. The tightness and the heat of Gokudera's body around Yamamoto's fingers always had that effect on him – the baseball player only had to imagine his cock being buried deep within that heat and, already, he would be leaking.

"It's fine," Gokudera whispered, kissing him full on the lips. Yamamoto bit his lips back, and sucked on the tip of his tongue. Yamamoto had always been a very good kisser – erotic, with that hint of aggression that Gokudera needed. Gokudera moaned, his passion heightened, and all of a sudden, fingers alone were not enough for Gokudera's desire anymore. "Hurry- I want _you_..."

"Mngh," Yamamoto growled hungrily, slipping the third finger into Gokudera – the silvernette barely noticed, arching his back desperately for Yamamoto. He whimpered when Yamamoto only continued to stretch him further – it wasn't what he wanted. Yamamoto kissed his cheek, working his fingers as efficiently as he could, "Just a bit more, Hayato."

"I want you right _now,_" Gokudera leaned back to look into Yamamoto's eyes, his emerald eyes brimming with tears, "I _need_ you _inside.._."

_Oh god, Hayato, don't do this to me... _Yamamoto bit down on Gokudera's neck, wanting to throw Gokudera on the bed and completely destroy him with his lust, suffocate him with desire. But his self-restraint was hard as steel, keeping him from hurting his lover.

"_Takeshi_-" Gokudera had tears running down his face now, his body trembling from the pure need to feel Yamamoto within him. _"Hurry..."_

Gokudera was finally ready. Yamamoto quickly removed his fingers, causing Gokudera to mewl from the sudden feeling of emptiness. Then, with one hand on his cock and another around Gokudera's waist, he guided Gokudera onto him.

"_Nngh-_" Gokudera whimpered at the intrusion – Yamamoto was so much bigger and so much hotter than his fingers, and as Gokudera slid down further and further, it felt as though he was never going to reach the hilt. It didn't hurt him, as Yamamoto had prepared him so well, but the pressure and the sensation of being filled up so completely still overwhelmed Gokudera every time.

"You okay?" Yamamoto breathed unsteadily, his heated breath blowing down the nape of Gokudera's neck as he held him closer to his chest. "I'm all the way in."

"Mm-" Gokudera could feel Yamamoto pulsing inside of him, and without any control, his own body clenched back, as though it wanted to swallow Yamamoto in deeper.

"Fuck, Hayato-" Yamamoto groaned, dark chocolate eyes completely glazed over with lust. "...can you move?"

Gokudera attempted to, but found no strength in his thighs. All energy had drained from him when Yamamoto entered him – he barely had enough power left in his arms to hang on. Body quivering like a leaf, Gokudera shook his head, "...can't."

"Don't worry about it," Yamamoto murmured, sliding his hands down to grip Gokudera's hips tight, and then, without warning, he began thrusting up into Gokudera – hitting that bundle of nerves right on from the very first thrust.

Gokudera felt like he was about to shatter into a million pieces as pleasure exploded in him everywhere – and it really was everywhere, Gokudera absolutely could not pin-point a spot – Yamamoto had sent hot white sparks through every fibre of his nerves, very damn near frying them every time he hit that special spot within Gokudera.

Almost like the sounds came from a distant place, Gokudera could hear voices moaning and groaning and panting and screaming, but he could not work out whether it was Yamamoto's or his own or even both of them. All that was apparent to him was the intense force of Yamamoto's thrusts and how it was making him feel. He didn't know how long they had been going at it, he couldn't comprehend anything...

"Nngh- Hayato, I'm gonna come-" Yamamoto's low voice was suddenly beside his ear and resonated within him, bringing him back to the present.

Gokudera nodded, blindly clinging to him, too far gone in euphoria to give a proper reply. Yamamoto turned Gokudera's face towards him and kissed him deeply, trapping all of his moans as he thrust faster and harder, and harder, and faster, and faster and faster-

"Mngh-!" Yamamoto spilled into him, hot shoots of liquid deep inside of Gokudera.

Gokudera's body immediately clenched up as though it would never let Yamamoto go, his muscles tight and tense with passion. He remained like that for a few devastating seconds where his mind went completely white and he could neither feel or see or think – then all of a sudden, his muscles let go all at once and Gokudera threw his head back, gasping, arching his back like a perfectly pulled bow. "_Agh-_!"

...

Both Gokudera and Yamamoto were panting harshly afterwards, almost like they had been kept underwater and were finally allowed to take their breaths and gasps of air. Gokudera had collapsed against Yamamoto, completely out of energy as he allowed Yamamoto to lift him off himself. White liquid dribbled out of Gokudera's entrance and down his thighs, and Gokudera shuddered pleasantly at the sensation. Yamamoto then pulled Gokudera to lie down with him, Gokudera lying on top of Yamamoto's body, his head resting on Yamamoto's chest.

When Gokudera had finally caught his breath back, he rolled off Yamamoto and onto his back beside him, letting out a deep, long sigh. "That was... awesome."

"Mm-hm," Yamamoto agreed, rolling onto his side to face Gokudera.

Gokudera then raised a hand, grinning tiredly. "High-five?"

Yamamoto slapped his own hand against it – laughing even though he was almost too exhausted to do so. "High-five, indeed."

Their hands didn't leave each other after the high-five. Instead, their fingers naturally intertwined. Yamamoto pulled Gokudera's hand towards his lips and kissed the back of his palm. Dark chocolate eyes flitted over to look into Gokudera's bright green emeralds – a little less broken every day – and taking in the way Gokudera's cheeks were still flushed with his lips still kiss-swollen.

_So beautiful... _Yamamoto was never any less enchanted by Gokudera – even after all this time. He leaned in to peck Gokudera's parted lips once more.

"I love you, Gokudera Hayato," Yamamoto whispered with a smile.

Gokudera's warmed with those words and he smiled softly back at Yamamoto, reaching out his free hand to rest against Yamamoto's cheek. "I love you, too, baseball-idiot..."

And as Yamamoto pulled his pale, scarred body into a warm, tangled embrace, Gokudera had an epiphany. And he didn't know when it had happened, or even how, or what had happened to change him – but in that one beautiful, perfectly imperfect moment – with his muscles still aching and with Yamamoto falling asleep before Gokudera could even tell him – Gokudera had realised it...

"...and I believe you."

* * *

**The End (not quite...)**

* * *

**A/N: **Um... hi guys. Remember me? *sheepish smile* So... life happened, and what with the whole going to university and life as a medical school student thing, I've regretfully left this fic to hang for so long... I don't know how to apologize enough, guys, so sorry to keep you hanging – on a cliffhanger as well! I know, I know, I'm such a horrible person, feel free to tell me off how you like... But on the bright side, I'd promised to never not finish my fics, and I'm sticking to it! :D

If you're still here and haven't given up on me – THANK YOU. I don't know why I deserve you guys, but I'm glad that you're here nonetheless! This chapter is especially written for **Phoenix of Starlight**'s birthday – the most adorable reader who never gave up on me for the whole YEAR that I've disappeared. Thank you, darling, much love! :)

Watch out for the **EPILOGUE** – containing life of these wonderful characters TYL in the Nami High universe, including 8059, D18, B26, XS, 10069, KenChiku, and possibly even more! – which will be up within a week or two. Promise! Nope, I won't disappear again – this is for real! :)

Again, thank you guys if you're still here reading this. I appreciate you guys so much! xx


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